I had heard of strip poker, but not strip trampoline. Sure enough, the 4 year old invented it. Most of us were in the kitchen when suddenly one of them said, "Uh Mom, you better look outside....J has no clothes on. He's, uh, jumping in his underwear." I looked, started laughing as usual, then ran to the door to remind him if a police officer were to drive by at that moment, I might get in a lot of trouble. Please put your clothes back on. I went back to the kitchen. "Uh Mom....now he's taking off his underwear...and the two other kids are starting to take their clothes off, too!" Running back to the door, I quickly yelled, "Keep your underwear on!!!!! What are you doing????" "It's hot! We don't like being hot when we jump!" Seemed simple enough a reason. I quickly explained once again that it is probably illegal, so clothes on or jumping over. The clothes came on, but not before a few good pictures were taken. It's a comedy show here, I'm telling you.
He just came downstairs. I said to him, "I had a really bad sleep last night, do you know why?" He smiled mischieviously, "Because of me." Yup. Everytime he wakes up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he needs to be near someone to fall back asleep. Sometimes it's his older sister, sometimes it's me. We always check in with each other in the morning, "So was he in your bed last night, cause I didn't see him....?" So, it is literally a 24 hour experience parenting this little guy. I think I should start a separate blog just about him.
So, it's been another good week. My daughter said at the beginning of the week that it was going to be the best week of her life! It was definitely going to the best week of my husband's life - both girls got their braces off on Tuesday! The money drain is slowing down! The weird thing is that it seemed a lot earlier than first discussed with the dentist. Both girls' teeth were looking good, but he had said, maybe by January for at least one of them, not sooner. Each time we went in and had the quick meeting with the dentist, I would look at him and I know for sure, at one point, I came right out and said, "This is killing us." I'm curious if that was the moment he literally asked the hygienist to start tightening the screws a little harder to speed up the process as suddenly they both had them off way ahead of schedule. There were also times that I had to call ahead and say, "I've got to cancel the appointment - there is no money this week." They were very kind, kept the appointment and we paid when the money came in. Each appointment was unbelievably expensive. I tried not to have my eyes bug out of my head each time, as that has to be annoying to a receptionist who sees it from everyone, but sometimes I just couldn't help the gag reflex. I'm sure I was a topic of conversation around the office. Not to mention most of my children came with me each time, so it was a gentle reminder to everyone there that this had a financial impact on this large family. All that to say, it's nearly over. Only one more in braces - I'm so grateful.
Two days after the braces came off we had to do another visit to get a retainer for my oldest. It was an hour and a half of driving for a five minute appointment. Awful. I found myself feeling so frustrated and tired of being in a car, I couldn't wait to get home. But then I realized, I'd been listening to the Christian radio again, that perhaps God needed to get me in a place where I couldn't move and where I could just listen to message after message. I listened. The one that struck me the most was about a mother giraffe. David Jeremiah retold a story about how mother giraffes have to get their newborns to walk right away or they won't survive. The way they do this is quite something. It begins with a terrible drop, a 10ft drop, from the birth canal to the ground. If that isn't enough, the mother then starts kicking the newborn calf with hefty kicks to try to get it to stand up. The calf tries its best, but with all the kicking, I'm sure it isn't easy! Finally, with all the kicking stimuli, the calf finally does stand up, but what does the mother do? Kicks it again so it falls back down! Terrible! This goes on and on until finally it is strong enough to make it and walk with the herd. What is the connection? We are like the newborn calf. I am like the newborn calf. I need swift kicks from the Lord to learn how to be stronger. There are probably going to be jaguars and cheetahs ahead in my walk with the herd. If I don't learn to handle these little struggles, or kicks, now, then I'll never be able to handle the big ones. The kicks are necessary! They are very intentional learning opportunities created by the Lord to make me a strong giraffe! I loved it. It worries me in some ways....what is ahead??? What is God preparing me for? I'm not sure. The newborn giraffe didn't know either. All he knew is he better learn the standing up walking lesson or his mother was just going to keep kicking him! It makes me a little more appreciative of the kicks I get and helps me explain life's ups and downs to the kids better, too. Now, I'm grateful for those drives in the car....I usually get a direct message from the Lord that is such an encouragement to me for the rest of the day or week.
I also experienced Salsa Intervention this week. Ever heard of that? It is when you try making salsa to can for the first time and you make a desperate call to the friend who gave you the recipe. You then joke with her saying, "I wish you were here to help!!!" as it involved chopping up 20, not 2, 20 cups of onions! Next thing you know, there she is at your door, with her onion chopper, that saves all sorts of chopping hours, not to mention teary eyes. It was a great moment! Thanks to her Salsa Intervention, I now have more jars of salsa than I've ever had in my whole life. Once again, a great picture was taken of my 4 year old, with goggles on, helping her use her little onion chopper - very cute, very funny.
At the end of the week we hosted our "Not-Back-to-School" Picnic which has become a tradition with our homeschool group. I heard great comments this year as apparently it has become a highlight for a lot of families. It started out cold, but by the afternoon it was a beautiful fall day with sun and a nice breeze. I know there were at least 70 kids not including moms, so it was a great turnout! My kids, being ever social (I believe I am to blame for that), love that day. It is their favourite event next to the one we host at the end of the year! They are always so sore that night from hours of soccer, jumping from hay bale to hay bale and just general running around, but I never let them complain when they are sore from playing!
That afternoon, after everyone left, one of the kids checked the mail. This is often how it goes. I don't know how or why God allows this to happen, but there was a cheque in the mail. It was one we had been expecting, for selling some hay, but we never know when it'll come. When they arrive on a Friday, it is such a relief. It allows us to go through our weekend with just that much less stress and makes our weekend just that much more enjoyable knowing certain automatic withdrawals will be covered. If we were to trace back through the last 10 years of being in business for ourselves, I am curious how many cheques have arrived on a Friday. Many, many cheques have made their appearance on that day, and once again, we're so grateful!
Even last night, rain was forecasted, so Renaissance Man knew he was going to need to get the 2nd cut of hay in before the rain. It was perfect weather - windy and sunny. He and most of the kids went out to the field, even the two year was on the trailer, and worked like dogs to get all 250 bales of hay in. Suddenly, a hay angel came out of nowhere. This hay angel has been here before, but you never know when he's going to show up. He got off his truck and asked if he could grab 57 bales of his own, including all the loading himself. RM always says sure as it is immediate payment in hand and less loading for us! Then, just like that, he's gone. How does he know when to come by? We never let him know, we don't even know his name! He always appears the very day the hay is getting off the field. It's like he has a hay sense about him! That extra money that we didn't expect will help cover the costs of RM's little night away with our 8 year old, so once again, the timing is perfect.
I'm in awe of God's goodness to us, but I shouldn't be. Psalm 40:4 says, "Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord." Even with ups and downs of life (like being in the laudromat twice this week as our laundry was disconnected all week!), it's been a good week as I look to find God even in the "kicks" of life.
Sunday, 21 September 2014
Wednesday, 17 September 2014
Marking Another Milestone
Today there is another birthday in our family (we celebrate a lot!). This time it is my 3rd son's big day. He is turning 8. I love birthday milestones as they help to remind you where you were a year ago, 3 years ago, 5 years ago, just by looking back on what you were doing at their last birthday. This boy is no exception. We moved into the farm when he was turning 5, 3 years ago. It helps to mark our city to country transition. We had owned the farm for a whole year already by that point, but hadn't moved in as we had been building the other house and renovating the farm. How we did all that is still an absolute marvel to me.
Even then, I saw God working. It was such a busy time and of course, money was tight, so we had a hard time finding a moment to even buy a gift! The day of his birthday, God stepped in. Our neighbours, whom we had bought the farm from, came over with boxes of toys from their own son who had outgrown them. This also included a basically new bike. I was in awe. It was everything a boy of 5 would have wanted - tons of cars and trucks and most of them were tractors and farm vehicles. Just another great reminder that God cared for us in such a tangible way.
That same night, through a bizarre series of events, we had a truckload of cows arrive on our property - another great gift for a boy turning 5 - cows! Who wouldn't want cows?! We had never had any animal other than a hamster or a guinea pig or fish prior to moving to the farm and here we were suddenly owning 17 cows. I'll never forget the night they came in. It was dark. The huge truck and massive trailer came on to our property and drove right down to the field where we were putting them. The whole month before they arrived my husband had been nearly killing himself organizing all sorts of fencing that needed to be put in. We had someone put in the major posts, but everything else, including what seemed like 100s of t-posts were put in by himself as well as all the electric fencing. He was a machine that month and somehow got it all done just in the nick of time.
As the cows came in, I heard the funniest sound. I really don't think I'd ever heard it before in real life! Mooing! Cows really moo! It was hilarious! The majority of the cows were mommy cows as 6 of them had just delivered earlier that summer, so they were quite upset about the transition. Off they came out of the truck, mooing their heads off. It was amazing to hear. I felt like such a city person still. We really threw ourselves into farm life head first. It has been so wonderful having these animals on our property. If it is possible to say, they are beautiful. We didn't get regular cows. We got Scottish Highland cows. I've heard them described like the Beattles. They have long curly hair that covers their eyes and they are in all sorts of different shades of browns and reds and even beige and white. They are also delicious! They are like a bison in that they are made for winter with their beautiful fur coats. They have next to no fat on them and so are better for you than even a chicken breast! They also have low cholesterol and are extremely high in protein. They've even made some money for us as we've sold sides of beef to friends which helped us get our farm status. So, as you can see, we love our beef!
This is the year we take our 8 year old and share the birds and the bees with him. Some may think that is too early, but we love the age. It is old enough to start seeing animals reproducing and think to themselves....hmmmmm....that's weird......oh! the cat had kittens! We also have calves born each year.......hmmmmm....how did that happen? They are still young enough to have an innocence about them and be open to the conversation without freaking out, though we have had some pretty funny reactions, "Ewwwww...that is so gross!" One of the boys came running up to me after he arrived back from his talk and said, "Mom, you'll never believe this....." Very funny. So it is a big year for him, though he doesn't quite know it yet! Daddy will take him away for a night and go somewhere fun to make it a great experience. It's been a neat tradition we started with our oldest and now we're at number 5.
He was also our first child born at home. I had tried to have the 3rd and 4th born at home, but they wouldn't cooperate. One was too overdue, 13 days! And the next one was too little. I would have 100 more babies if I could just because having a home birth is like nothing else. The 3 kids after him were also born at home. Having banana bread and coffee, not to mention 17 people in the room right after he was born, was a super cool experience and I'll remember that for a looong time.
He turned out to be not unlike the current four year old - a challenge! He had a hard time sleeping through the night in that first year. Then he turned into a toddler that only ran and always was getting hurt with his multiple falls into shelving. Then he turned into a boy that loved to get mommy frustrated. I started to tell him the verse, "I want to be a joyful mother of children!!!!!" Then he turned into a dare devil jumping into pools with no floaties and nearly drowning twice. But then as he started to hit the 5 year old mark, things started to change....a maturing....less disciplining....more focusing in school.....reading early.....completely grasping all math concepts in just a few lessons...skipping whole grades in math! It always gives me hope when I look back to what these challenging kids were like as infants and toddlers and seeing them change into wonderfully maturing children! He'll only really know farm life. When our oldest boy (who is now 15) was 5, that was when we first started dreaming of living on a farm. He didn't get to really enjoy it until he was 12, but that worked out perfectly as we needed him to work! Our 8 year old, on the other hand, did get farm life starting at age 5 and is truly benefitting from living here now for 3 years. I'm grateful God determined when we would live here and who would benefit the most at exactly the right ages.
What will he be when he grows up? Not sure. He was lots of interests. He does NOT want to get married. Hopefully that will change over time! He's already talking about getting baptized, but I told him I need to see a little more fruit just like with his younger brother! So I thank God for him today, such a blessing to have him in our family. Now I'm off to make his dream breakfast....crepes with bananas, whipped cream and nutella. We used to go out for breakfast when we weren't as careful with our money. We would go to a restaurant that made those kinds of crepes, but for 5 times the price. Now, with a little, ok, a lot of effort, I try to reproduce the same meal for a lot less. It is delicious and every kid asks for it on their birthday. It's going to be fun! Ok, off I go.....
Even then, I saw God working. It was such a busy time and of course, money was tight, so we had a hard time finding a moment to even buy a gift! The day of his birthday, God stepped in. Our neighbours, whom we had bought the farm from, came over with boxes of toys from their own son who had outgrown them. This also included a basically new bike. I was in awe. It was everything a boy of 5 would have wanted - tons of cars and trucks and most of them were tractors and farm vehicles. Just another great reminder that God cared for us in such a tangible way.
That same night, through a bizarre series of events, we had a truckload of cows arrive on our property - another great gift for a boy turning 5 - cows! Who wouldn't want cows?! We had never had any animal other than a hamster or a guinea pig or fish prior to moving to the farm and here we were suddenly owning 17 cows. I'll never forget the night they came in. It was dark. The huge truck and massive trailer came on to our property and drove right down to the field where we were putting them. The whole month before they arrived my husband had been nearly killing himself organizing all sorts of fencing that needed to be put in. We had someone put in the major posts, but everything else, including what seemed like 100s of t-posts were put in by himself as well as all the electric fencing. He was a machine that month and somehow got it all done just in the nick of time.
As the cows came in, I heard the funniest sound. I really don't think I'd ever heard it before in real life! Mooing! Cows really moo! It was hilarious! The majority of the cows were mommy cows as 6 of them had just delivered earlier that summer, so they were quite upset about the transition. Off they came out of the truck, mooing their heads off. It was amazing to hear. I felt like such a city person still. We really threw ourselves into farm life head first. It has been so wonderful having these animals on our property. If it is possible to say, they are beautiful. We didn't get regular cows. We got Scottish Highland cows. I've heard them described like the Beattles. They have long curly hair that covers their eyes and they are in all sorts of different shades of browns and reds and even beige and white. They are also delicious! They are like a bison in that they are made for winter with their beautiful fur coats. They have next to no fat on them and so are better for you than even a chicken breast! They also have low cholesterol and are extremely high in protein. They've even made some money for us as we've sold sides of beef to friends which helped us get our farm status. So, as you can see, we love our beef!
This is the year we take our 8 year old and share the birds and the bees with him. Some may think that is too early, but we love the age. It is old enough to start seeing animals reproducing and think to themselves....hmmmmm....that's weird......oh! the cat had kittens! We also have calves born each year.......hmmmmm....how did that happen? They are still young enough to have an innocence about them and be open to the conversation without freaking out, though we have had some pretty funny reactions, "Ewwwww...that is so gross!" One of the boys came running up to me after he arrived back from his talk and said, "Mom, you'll never believe this....." Very funny. So it is a big year for him, though he doesn't quite know it yet! Daddy will take him away for a night and go somewhere fun to make it a great experience. It's been a neat tradition we started with our oldest and now we're at number 5.
He was also our first child born at home. I had tried to have the 3rd and 4th born at home, but they wouldn't cooperate. One was too overdue, 13 days! And the next one was too little. I would have 100 more babies if I could just because having a home birth is like nothing else. The 3 kids after him were also born at home. Having banana bread and coffee, not to mention 17 people in the room right after he was born, was a super cool experience and I'll remember that for a looong time.
He turned out to be not unlike the current four year old - a challenge! He had a hard time sleeping through the night in that first year. Then he turned into a toddler that only ran and always was getting hurt with his multiple falls into shelving. Then he turned into a boy that loved to get mommy frustrated. I started to tell him the verse, "I want to be a joyful mother of children!!!!!" Then he turned into a dare devil jumping into pools with no floaties and nearly drowning twice. But then as he started to hit the 5 year old mark, things started to change....a maturing....less disciplining....more focusing in school.....reading early.....completely grasping all math concepts in just a few lessons...skipping whole grades in math! It always gives me hope when I look back to what these challenging kids were like as infants and toddlers and seeing them change into wonderfully maturing children! He'll only really know farm life. When our oldest boy (who is now 15) was 5, that was when we first started dreaming of living on a farm. He didn't get to really enjoy it until he was 12, but that worked out perfectly as we needed him to work! Our 8 year old, on the other hand, did get farm life starting at age 5 and is truly benefitting from living here now for 3 years. I'm grateful God determined when we would live here and who would benefit the most at exactly the right ages.
What will he be when he grows up? Not sure. He was lots of interests. He does NOT want to get married. Hopefully that will change over time! He's already talking about getting baptized, but I told him I need to see a little more fruit just like with his younger brother! So I thank God for him today, such a blessing to have him in our family. Now I'm off to make his dream breakfast....crepes with bananas, whipped cream and nutella. We used to go out for breakfast when we weren't as careful with our money. We would go to a restaurant that made those kinds of crepes, but for 5 times the price. Now, with a little, ok, a lot of effort, I try to reproduce the same meal for a lot less. It is delicious and every kid asks for it on their birthday. It's going to be fun! Ok, off I go.....
Sunday, 14 September 2014
Lessons from Two "Ants"
This weekend we had some young men come and spend the night at our place. These two men were two of the boys (they were boys at the time!) who helped us build our house a few years ago. They lived with us for 6 months and one of them even stayed on for another 2 months after that. Now they are all grown up. One is married. One is in engineering at a university around here and the youngest builds timber frame homes. They came by because they were selling the garlic and other things they had grown on their farm at a local farmer's market/festival. We asked them how much they made at this sideline venture and you wouldn't believe the number if I told you - it was thousands of dollars - from just 2 acres of garden. We started asking a lot of questions.
We wanted to know how they did all this while doing full-time work and school. It was obvious to them - every minute counted in their day. My husband was most curious about the engineering student's marks - how did he keep us his marks while doing this on the weekends? His answer was inspiring - "I know how to work." His average last year was 92%! He has found engineering not as hard as he thought!? Who says stuff like that?????? He described the stats of how many dropped out from first year to second year and how a whole other group dropped off going into third year.
I think the reason I share this goes back to being an ant. These boys are ants. They have no overseer yet they know how to work. I bet, though, that anyone else hearing all that these boys accomplish would question them and suggest that they are workaholics. There is no way. I think the people who would say that are funaholics. That same group who might challenge how these boys live their lives might say they don't have enough rest or vacation in their lives. Again, no. These boys are successful and are packing away money to be able to buy a home debt-free one day. They are not wasting their lives. They are being good stewards of the very resources and talents that God has given them.
My whole family sat around and talked with these inspiring young men late into the night. We all wanted to grasp what they were doing and take the land that we have and use it in a similar way. Everyone listened intently. It was so good for them to see a model of young men working hard.
I plan on giving a seminar in the next month on the Maxwell series of books that teach on chores and scheduling school hours. Re-reading their books has reminded me how teaching our kids to work is so critical, from a young age. My rascally 4 year old is learning how to work and does not like it. I keep telling him, "If you learn how to do your chores now without fussing at me, then you will be a good Daddy who can take good care of his family." He doesn't buy it. But I press on, constantly training, constantly disciplining for bad attitude, which he seems to have no end of! These boys were that dose of inspiration we needed again to stay on track. Sometimes it is hard to keep at it when you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel!
I think the Lord sent those boys to us this weekend. They were Scripture come to life - if they had been wearing ant costumes, I wouldn't have even flinched. God knows we need that tangible expression of Himself, of His Word. We were so encouraged. I went to bed dreaming of farming and all that we could accomplish with our land. They were also representatives of the rest of their family who helped in the farming venture. This family also has 8 kids. One girl made all the labels for their garlic-related products. The others helped make the garlic powder, the garlic sauces, the garlic scapes (another garlic product...delicious!). It was really a whole family experience! Even the Dad helps weed the garden and the Mom grows sprouts and things she sells at the markets. They were at a farmer's market every weekend. It was hard work, they admitted it - up very early, setting up at the market, talking all day to customers, back home late.....not your average way to spend a summer weekend. But the way they speak to each other, the way they speak of their siblings and parents, it was clear, the bonds between them all were strong and full of respect. It was amazing to see and hear.
Our window of time with our children is disappearing! They are getting older! They are going to be leaving the nest before we know it! How I pray we'll be able to take advantage of every moment the way this family has and that the Lord will bless the work of our hands.
We wanted to know how they did all this while doing full-time work and school. It was obvious to them - every minute counted in their day. My husband was most curious about the engineering student's marks - how did he keep us his marks while doing this on the weekends? His answer was inspiring - "I know how to work." His average last year was 92%! He has found engineering not as hard as he thought!? Who says stuff like that?????? He described the stats of how many dropped out from first year to second year and how a whole other group dropped off going into third year.
I think the reason I share this goes back to being an ant. These boys are ants. They have no overseer yet they know how to work. I bet, though, that anyone else hearing all that these boys accomplish would question them and suggest that they are workaholics. There is no way. I think the people who would say that are funaholics. That same group who might challenge how these boys live their lives might say they don't have enough rest or vacation in their lives. Again, no. These boys are successful and are packing away money to be able to buy a home debt-free one day. They are not wasting their lives. They are being good stewards of the very resources and talents that God has given them.
My whole family sat around and talked with these inspiring young men late into the night. We all wanted to grasp what they were doing and take the land that we have and use it in a similar way. Everyone listened intently. It was so good for them to see a model of young men working hard.
I plan on giving a seminar in the next month on the Maxwell series of books that teach on chores and scheduling school hours. Re-reading their books has reminded me how teaching our kids to work is so critical, from a young age. My rascally 4 year old is learning how to work and does not like it. I keep telling him, "If you learn how to do your chores now without fussing at me, then you will be a good Daddy who can take good care of his family." He doesn't buy it. But I press on, constantly training, constantly disciplining for bad attitude, which he seems to have no end of! These boys were that dose of inspiration we needed again to stay on track. Sometimes it is hard to keep at it when you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel!
I think the Lord sent those boys to us this weekend. They were Scripture come to life - if they had been wearing ant costumes, I wouldn't have even flinched. God knows we need that tangible expression of Himself, of His Word. We were so encouraged. I went to bed dreaming of farming and all that we could accomplish with our land. They were also representatives of the rest of their family who helped in the farming venture. This family also has 8 kids. One girl made all the labels for their garlic-related products. The others helped make the garlic powder, the garlic sauces, the garlic scapes (another garlic product...delicious!). It was really a whole family experience! Even the Dad helps weed the garden and the Mom grows sprouts and things she sells at the markets. They were at a farmer's market every weekend. It was hard work, they admitted it - up very early, setting up at the market, talking all day to customers, back home late.....not your average way to spend a summer weekend. But the way they speak to each other, the way they speak of their siblings and parents, it was clear, the bonds between them all were strong and full of respect. It was amazing to see and hear.
Our window of time with our children is disappearing! They are getting older! They are going to be leaving the nest before we know it! How I pray we'll be able to take advantage of every moment the way this family has and that the Lord will bless the work of our hands.
Friday, 12 September 2014
Messages from the Radio
This time we were in church. The elements of communion were being passed, the crackers and the juice, right in front of my son's nose. "This happens all the time," I'm sure he was thinking. "I've got to get me some of that," was another thought I'm sure was in his head. Our church wisely believes you should be a Christian to participate in communion and though my four year old thinks he's a Christian, I have yet to see a lot of fruit!!!! I've explained this to him many times, especially in the middle of a communion service. This Sunday was no exception. "Can I help pass the juice?" "Is it almost over?" More questions about why he couldn't have any, more answers, quickly pushing his hands away from the tray so it wouldn't spill all over the bench and floor. Then suddenly, he had had enough. He basically stood up and put his hands in the air and said, quite loudly, not sure how many heard, "WHY CAN'T WE ALL BE CHRISTIANS?!?! I JUST WANT TO BE A CHRISTIAN?!" I smiled. I've laughed a lot as I've retold the story multiple times this week. It's such a great cry if it weren't so insincere as he just wants a snack in the middle of the service like all the rest of those lucky Christians sitting around him! I'm so grateful that God has given me a boy that makes me laugh and gives me lots of opportunities to make others laugh (and cry and pull their hair out).
Surprise surprise, not as easy to get much writing in with a new school year getting off the ground. I'm pleased with how things are going for the most part. Still working on the things that are challenges to the schedule. Now that I live in the Garden of Eden, i.e., Niagara, it is a new distraction as I've never been drawn to such crazy ideas like freezing and canning. Who does that?? But then you see bushels of fruit that was literally grown down the street and it's basically free and you think to yourself - I could be eating that in the winter.......hmmmmm....but how do I do that?????? So it has been a really learning curve these last few years as I've attempted at least one new thing a year to try. This past month it was the pickles and now this weekend I'm going to try salsa and possibly peaches if I can. I love buying bushels and half-bushels of fruit and vegetables and then seeing them lying around the kitchen. Half the time I'm not prepared and buying it a little too early pushes me to get myself organized as there is suddenly a new deadline - get it in a jar before the fruit flies get to it! My mom knew that I was thinking of doing some more canning and was on the look out for me for "free" jars. Sure enough, she was at a friend's house and saw a whole bunch of unused jars sitting around. Now they are at my house! So that was a lot cheaper as I used to buy brand new without even thinking about it. I'm excited to see how much I get done this weekend. Poor kids, they didn't know I had plans for them.....
Bible Quizzing has started up again. Our children are excited to be memorizing Acts this year. Even the ones who are not old enough are doing it. I literally pay the ones who can't quiz as their incentive. My new healthy daughter came bouncing down the stairs yesterday morning - I'm not exaggerating, she is a new person - getting more school done than ever, happier and alive more than ever, getting up without any issues, feeling good - anyway, I'm praising God still......she came down and quickly repeated what she had memorized, the first 3 verses of Acts. I listened and then suddenly it was as if my mind was tweaked by each word she said. I had never read those verses and been impacted by them before, but they jumped off the page at me. I had to go back and read them for myself. Here they are:
1 In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach 2 until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen. 3 After his suffering, he presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God.
Nothing really jumps out at first, but look closer. After Jesus died and rose again, He didn't just leave them. He stayed and "presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that He was alive". Isn't that amazing? He knew He couldn't just rise from the dead and then on the next day take off, so to speak! And how long did He appear to them????? My favourite number.....40 days. And, during this time period of 40 days, He wasn't hanging out and chatting - He was giving them "instructions through the Holy Spirit", speaking about the "Kingdom of God". He knew just what they would need - help, instructions, proof he was alive and not just proof, "CONVINCING" proof. This would have been a great time to just hide away and leave all those sinners that had just killed Him to themselves. His own disciples had rejected Him. He could have left them on their own, too. But He didn't. I quickly saw a parallel to my own life.
I love my early morning chats with Renaissance Man - he grabs his coffee, I have mine and we sit. This is often when I share what I've read in the morning, or we'll pray, or dream....we're so fortunate that he doesn't have to take off on some long commute anymore. This is the greatest gift we have. So I quickly started telling him how the verses had hit me. I explained how Jesus appeared to the lost, sad, disappointed disciples for 40 days - first parallel - we are the lost, sad, disappointed disciples. In a way, I said to him, I feel like we just met with Jesus for 40 days by doing that fast together. During the period of 40 days with the actual disciples, He gave them instructions, through the Holy Spirit. He showed Himself to them over and over, giving them convincing proofs that He was alive, speaking to them about the Kingdom of God. Isn't that what God did for us during those 40 days? He gave many convincing proofs that He was alive and working, from getting that amazing contract that we shouldn't have been given to miracles of money coming in that were completely unexpected. He showed us time and time again, He's alive, in control. So then I realized, God was speaking to me again, showing me how to pray....So I'm asking Him again, to show me, use those 40 days, just like with the apostles. I'm asking Him to give us instructions, through the Holy Spirit, as to what He would have us do. I'm asking that he would continue to give me what I need, convincing proofs that He is alive, that He would present Himself to me. We are still waiting on the Lord for further direction, what He would have us do, be it Kingdom work, debt-reduction, anything. I was encouraged, so encouraged, by those 3 little verses that seemed like such an unlikely place to get encouragement.
Later on that day, we headed off to the library. I always have the radio to the one Christian station we have and for the literal 5 minutes we were in the van, I heard a man speak about dreams. Not the kind you have at night, but dreams we all have of our future, what we long to accomplish. Not discontentment-type of dreams, more restlessness-type of dreams, where you feel you were created to do more and yet you find yourself almost stuck in a mire where you are unable to fulfill this dream or task you know you were created to do. This guy was speaking right to me. Suddenly the radio personality/announcer guy said to his guest speaker, "Would you pray for the person who's out there right now who is feeling stuck, unable to fulfill their dreams?" And so this man started praying, for me. I found myself getting all teary-eyed as he prayed, not knowing there was this woman somewhere out there, me, who was being touched by his prayer. "Lord," he prayed, "give that person out there the resources they need to fulfill the plans you have for them. Help them to not be discouraged as they wait." There was much more, but that was the jist of it. That was it. We were at the library and the radio was off. It was a literal 5 minute conversation I heard and a 30 second prayer, but I felt like it came directly from the heavens above. I love those kinds of moments that feel like they were God-ordained.
After we left the library, I quickly turned on the radio again, hoping for more encouragement and I wasn't disappointed. The next guest on the show was also speaking about our dreams, but how we need to be restful and patient to see how God will work them out. We all long for a formula to follow, but there just isn't one. It confirmed for me once again how important it is to be patient in the process.
So, just as I prayed that morning, that God would instruct me through the Holy Spirit, I felt like I received two little messages from above as the day went along - He knows we have dreams. He knows whether or not we need resources. I need to just keep being faithful in the process and patient. Great reminders.
Surprise surprise, not as easy to get much writing in with a new school year getting off the ground. I'm pleased with how things are going for the most part. Still working on the things that are challenges to the schedule. Now that I live in the Garden of Eden, i.e., Niagara, it is a new distraction as I've never been drawn to such crazy ideas like freezing and canning. Who does that?? But then you see bushels of fruit that was literally grown down the street and it's basically free and you think to yourself - I could be eating that in the winter.......hmmmmm....but how do I do that?????? So it has been a really learning curve these last few years as I've attempted at least one new thing a year to try. This past month it was the pickles and now this weekend I'm going to try salsa and possibly peaches if I can. I love buying bushels and half-bushels of fruit and vegetables and then seeing them lying around the kitchen. Half the time I'm not prepared and buying it a little too early pushes me to get myself organized as there is suddenly a new deadline - get it in a jar before the fruit flies get to it! My mom knew that I was thinking of doing some more canning and was on the look out for me for "free" jars. Sure enough, she was at a friend's house and saw a whole bunch of unused jars sitting around. Now they are at my house! So that was a lot cheaper as I used to buy brand new without even thinking about it. I'm excited to see how much I get done this weekend. Poor kids, they didn't know I had plans for them.....
Bible Quizzing has started up again. Our children are excited to be memorizing Acts this year. Even the ones who are not old enough are doing it. I literally pay the ones who can't quiz as their incentive. My new healthy daughter came bouncing down the stairs yesterday morning - I'm not exaggerating, she is a new person - getting more school done than ever, happier and alive more than ever, getting up without any issues, feeling good - anyway, I'm praising God still......she came down and quickly repeated what she had memorized, the first 3 verses of Acts. I listened and then suddenly it was as if my mind was tweaked by each word she said. I had never read those verses and been impacted by them before, but they jumped off the page at me. I had to go back and read them for myself. Here they are:
1 In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach 2 until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen. 3 After his suffering, he presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God.
Nothing really jumps out at first, but look closer. After Jesus died and rose again, He didn't just leave them. He stayed and "presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that He was alive". Isn't that amazing? He knew He couldn't just rise from the dead and then on the next day take off, so to speak! And how long did He appear to them????? My favourite number.....40 days. And, during this time period of 40 days, He wasn't hanging out and chatting - He was giving them "instructions through the Holy Spirit", speaking about the "Kingdom of God". He knew just what they would need - help, instructions, proof he was alive and not just proof, "CONVINCING" proof. This would have been a great time to just hide away and leave all those sinners that had just killed Him to themselves. His own disciples had rejected Him. He could have left them on their own, too. But He didn't. I quickly saw a parallel to my own life.
I love my early morning chats with Renaissance Man - he grabs his coffee, I have mine and we sit. This is often when I share what I've read in the morning, or we'll pray, or dream....we're so fortunate that he doesn't have to take off on some long commute anymore. This is the greatest gift we have. So I quickly started telling him how the verses had hit me. I explained how Jesus appeared to the lost, sad, disappointed disciples for 40 days - first parallel - we are the lost, sad, disappointed disciples. In a way, I said to him, I feel like we just met with Jesus for 40 days by doing that fast together. During the period of 40 days with the actual disciples, He gave them instructions, through the Holy Spirit. He showed Himself to them over and over, giving them convincing proofs that He was alive, speaking to them about the Kingdom of God. Isn't that what God did for us during those 40 days? He gave many convincing proofs that He was alive and working, from getting that amazing contract that we shouldn't have been given to miracles of money coming in that were completely unexpected. He showed us time and time again, He's alive, in control. So then I realized, God was speaking to me again, showing me how to pray....So I'm asking Him again, to show me, use those 40 days, just like with the apostles. I'm asking Him to give us instructions, through the Holy Spirit, as to what He would have us do. I'm asking that he would continue to give me what I need, convincing proofs that He is alive, that He would present Himself to me. We are still waiting on the Lord for further direction, what He would have us do, be it Kingdom work, debt-reduction, anything. I was encouraged, so encouraged, by those 3 little verses that seemed like such an unlikely place to get encouragement.
Later on that day, we headed off to the library. I always have the radio to the one Christian station we have and for the literal 5 minutes we were in the van, I heard a man speak about dreams. Not the kind you have at night, but dreams we all have of our future, what we long to accomplish. Not discontentment-type of dreams, more restlessness-type of dreams, where you feel you were created to do more and yet you find yourself almost stuck in a mire where you are unable to fulfill this dream or task you know you were created to do. This guy was speaking right to me. Suddenly the radio personality/announcer guy said to his guest speaker, "Would you pray for the person who's out there right now who is feeling stuck, unable to fulfill their dreams?" And so this man started praying, for me. I found myself getting all teary-eyed as he prayed, not knowing there was this woman somewhere out there, me, who was being touched by his prayer. "Lord," he prayed, "give that person out there the resources they need to fulfill the plans you have for them. Help them to not be discouraged as they wait." There was much more, but that was the jist of it. That was it. We were at the library and the radio was off. It was a literal 5 minute conversation I heard and a 30 second prayer, but I felt like it came directly from the heavens above. I love those kinds of moments that feel like they were God-ordained.
After we left the library, I quickly turned on the radio again, hoping for more encouragement and I wasn't disappointed. The next guest on the show was also speaking about our dreams, but how we need to be restful and patient to see how God will work them out. We all long for a formula to follow, but there just isn't one. It confirmed for me once again how important it is to be patient in the process.
So, just as I prayed that morning, that God would instruct me through the Holy Spirit, I felt like I received two little messages from above as the day went along - He knows we have dreams. He knows whether or not we need resources. I need to just keep being faithful in the process and patient. Great reminders.
Saturday, 6 September 2014
If (and when...) My Hope Account Gets Low....
I saw a white puddle on the ground....spilled milk. It was all I could do to try and maintain
some control as I looked at my 4 year old.
I saw what had happened and was frustrated how he had taken his milk and
literally kept pouring it down his throat until it literally spilled over the
edges of his mouth. I could not believe
what I was seeing and, of course, asked the dumb question all parents ask, “Why?????! What were you thinking?????” His answer has had me laughing all week.... “I was gargling my milk.” My answer has had me laughing all week, too,
as these words just don’t come out in every home, “You can’t gargle milk!!!!!” That was how my first day of school started.
Remember all that planning and prep I had done....for weeks? I knew even when I did it all that in some senses it was a bit of an exercise in frustration...something would happen that would change the plan and of course that is exactly what happened. The little guy got another throat infection of some kind (gotta get to the bottom of that....) which led to no sleep again for me and Renaissance Man. Horses, that's right, horses arrived at our door on the first day. Not Jehovah's Witnesses, horses. That was a fun distraction, but it sure didn't contribute to kids sitting at their desks doing work! It ended up being one of the hottest weeks of the year...figures! After such a cool summer, I was pretty sure September was going to be even cooler, but no, it got super hot! So, who wants to do school when all you think about it swimming! Alas, it was a great start to our first week - just two days of school! No one was too upset about that.
As for our little rendez-vous away, it was simply too short. But that's a good sign, isn't it? If you are enjoying being with the same person for 19 years, that says something. One of the things we started doing when it was our first anniversary was to purposely reflect on the year before and dream and plan for the year ahead. At first we even took notes! This time we didn't take notes, but I did write things down that we had talked about when we got home. We had a harder year this past year, but then again maybe it was just like all the other years except the trials were different.
Upon reflection, I'm realizing that we have many different bank accounts besides our chequings and savings. We also have a "faith account" and a "hope account", just to name a couple more. Some are fuller than others. When we reflected back on the trials, we also were amazed at all the miracles that had happened. God was injecting faith into our "faith account" all year. What I noticed this past year was how often I would dip into the "hope account" and nothing was there leading to tremendous discouragement, but the neat thing was there was always "money" in the "faith account", so all I needed to do was make a transfer! My faith account transfer was then enough to keep my hope account alive for a little bit longer so that I wouldn't go bankrupt! Just like I wish our actual dollar account was a little fuller, I wish my hope account was full to overflowing, but it only seems to be at a "barely alive" level most of the time. Thank goodness for the ability to reflect and see what God has done - that always amazes me. Yes, faith is believing and hoping in what we cannot see, but God knows we need more than that sometimes and it is so helpful for me to actually "see" with my own eyes His provision for me in tangible ways. We saw that a lot this past year and our faith account was full to overflowing. I think He must have known we would need that during those trials to get us through the dry months.
We wonder what the 20th year holds for us. We know it'll probably be a sad year in some ways as one of RM's cousins is very sick with brain cancer and doesn't seem to have much time left, yet God is her strength so we hold on to that for her. Every year brings these lows in some form and yet we anticipate some highs as well as there are many surrounding us expecting babies - it's that cycle of life thing.
We are almost at the year mark where we buckled down again and made some hard decisions about finances. Last October when we first clicked back in to "gazelle" intensity, I figured it would be anywhere from 2-3 years before we saw financial freedom. It's still looking that way as not too much has changed in our financial situation even though we've been at it for a year. We had a lot of financial needs with the hard winter - insane heating bills, renovations needed to keep the house warm, etc. That set us back a bit. Then there just wasn't a lot of work until January, so that set us back a lot as we had very little to live on for almost 6 months. Work finally came in the new year, but not enough to clear a lot of debt, just enough to sustain us and keep us alive! More work has come since then, but again, just enough to keep us out of hot water and we've heard it's going to be another hard winter. We didn't get all our winterizing done on the house yet and that is going to cost us some more if we want to keep our pipes from freezing! I continue to work at our grocery bills and clothing needs as creatively and cheaply as possible. I feel like we didn't spend too much on our homeschooling curriculum. Gifts for others are usually done as inexpensively as possible. I continue to butcher, I mean, cut, my childrens' hair. We are eating our own meat birds and are gearing up to slaughter some pigs and cows soon, so that'll give us some more meat soon. I'm so grateful for that! We haven't eaten out at a restaurant as a family in a very long time except if we are given it as a gift, which God, in His goodness, has given us many times over this past year. We have kept to the rule of not doing field trips (there were a couple exceptions, but mostly things we couldn't avoid) that cost and there have been no vacations (except for my anniversary and even then, it was done on the cheap). We've tried to be reasonable and not legalistic. We've tried to bless our kids and not exasperate them in this process. We are learning there is no formula for how this is going to work itself out. We make little adjustments as we go along and give ourselves grace if we fall off the wagon and spend where we said we never would or if we find ourselves out and about and are kids are starving, we'll stop and feed them (though I've tried to be a better planner and bring food whenever possible)! Like I said, we're trying to be reasonable and not legalistic.
We are nearly at the 6 year mark where we decided things needed to change and that took us out to Niagara where we built the home and have been living for over 5 years now. Will we ever see the freedom we long for? Not sure. I don't panic about it anymore. We are basically at peace that this may be our status right until the end of our lives. Only God can bless us and get us out. We are being faithful and trying to do all we can, but it may just be that God wants to keep us in a place of dependence, as I've written before. I don't know exactly how that gives God glory, to remain in debt, but at the same time, if we can reflect an attitude of peace and a sense of trusting in Him though things aren't going as we planned, perhaps that is how He'll get the glory. We have to completely rely on Him to bless us with either more work, an "ark", other creative ideas to kill the debt....even ideas come from Him! We simply won't be able to do this on our own.
So that is the run-down of the past year - in some ways we are in the same financial situation as when we started, maybe even worse! But perhaps it is one step forward, two back....then over time, it'll be two steps forward, one back....you get the idea.....Meanwhile, I thank God for our many blessings. I really do love my life. My kids are hysterical. I'm in love with my husband. I feel like I live in paradise when I look around. See? That is how my faith account gets filled up, looking back, reflecting, seeing what I have in the present, remembering all the blessings, talking together about all that God has done as a family, writing about the miracles...suddenly the faith account is full again, leaving lots of room to transfer into my hope account if and when it gets low again....whew!
Monday, 1 September 2014
Drooping Hands, Weak Knees, Straight Paths
Today is our 19th anniversary. I wasn't supposed to come downstairs this morning. I was supposed to stay in bed, but I wanted to write, so I snuck down anyway and to my amazement, the whole house was spotless. I had left it rather messy knowing I needed to get up a little earlier to tidy as my parents are coming over later on today. My oldest daughter did it again - she knows how a clean house is the best gift to any mom. My morning will go just that much smoother today because of her secret cleaning spree. What a blessing!
The 40 days is up. I want to write that a brown paper package showed up from an anonymous donor for the exact amount of the debt, but that didn't happen. I don't think I knew exactly what would happen. Perhaps I did expect a major miracle on the 40th day, not sure, but again, I'm writing just to show that even though the debt didn't magically disappear, I'm convinced God is still working. He's just on a different schedule than I am. I am on the "do it when I want it" schedule and He's on the "I'm perfecting and finishing your faith" schedule. I guess we still have some major lessons to learn before all is said and done.
However, we did have some major answers to prayers during the course of the 40 days and we learned a lot that we weren't expecting. Here's just a few examples.....One of the major challenges to me, not unlike my children, has been sugar intake. With my oldest loving to bake, I have always loved to snack. I gave all that up during the 40 days and literally tried to only eat 3 small things a day. That might not sound like a fast, but it was! I never realized how much I snack....apparently all the time. I had been trying to eat well since January and had lost a few pounds, but if she baked up something sweet, I usually caved. Once a cookie entered my mouth, a few more would follow throughout the day. I just never had the self-discipline to stop. This fast showed me it really was a bond in my life. I gave it up for the 40 days and I really haven't missed it. The stubborn weight that I was trying to lose came off and I'm back at a weight that I've wanted to be at for years. That was huge!
Another interesting struggle was a patch on leg that has been literally irritating me for months. I have no idea how it started, but it seemed related to a varicose vein and resulted in non-stop itching all day which led to a terrible rash and was spreading all over my lower leg. I could hardly do anything but think about this irritation during the day which just made it worse. The doctor had prescribed multiple creams, none of which worked. My pharmacist sister-in-law took one look at it and was very concerned that I had a much more serious skin/vein issue than I first thought. Just over a week ago or so, I cried out to the Lord. I wasn't sure if I could be so bold, but in light of the fast, would it be possible to show himself to me? Could He show me He was working in my life? I asked straight out that He take away the itch and heal my leg. Then I kind of forgot about it. A couple of days later, it occurred to me, when was the last time I itched my leg? I couldn't remember! It must have been at least a day or two. Then I looked down. The red patch was almost completely gone. You have to realize....this had been going on for MONTHS!!! I was constantly itching my leg - it was like a form of torture. I knew if I itched it, it would get worse, but if I didn't itch it, it made me nuts! There was no doubt about it, it was healed - completely! If you were to see it now, you would never even know that part of the leg had been bothering me for so long - it's completely back to normal and no scar to even indicate where the patch of skin was so infected. Praise God!
The other miracle has to be my daughter and her health. She is the one making me breakfast this morning. She could never do that before as she was always so tired and could never get out of bed! This meal was her initiative.....everything was made by her. The greatest sign has to be in her eyes. She always had dark circles under her eyes. I never thought those would go away. They are gone. I think I wrote this before, but before if I used a crayon to draw her, I would have coloured her white. Now, I tell her, I would colour her beige! All over! That is so great! She's beige!!!!!! Thank you, Lord!!!!
Another exciting change in our family has come from hosting the street preachers this summer. At the beginning of the summer, we hosted them with some suspicions. It turns out most people they stayed with on their Cross-Canada Tour hosted them with some suspicions at first, but just like us, in all cases, by the end of their stay with each host, it was either the host family or the host church that suddenly was on-board with what they were doing and were completely convicted that we'd been one of the 98% of Christians that really didn't share their faith. How sad!!!! As a direct result of their coming to our farm, watching them live out their convictions and having attended some evangelism training they offered (including going out on the street with them), we are changed. We always saw people as lost, but never were so bold as to come right out and share with them the hope we had. I usually used the "friendship evangelism" approach where I would live it out and wait for them to ask or notice what was different about me, but the truth is, people rarely ask. Meanwhile people are dying and will be forever separated from God without us being so bold. We took our kids with us when we went out with the street preachers to the Farmer's Market. At first they were too shy to hand out the tracts. They had no idea how to do it. But once they got the hang of, they wouldn't stop. They had no fear whatsoever and were handing them out left, right and center. The next day we were in the Dollar Store and saw someone with dyed red hair. As soon as they walked by, my youngest daughter said, "Mom! I forgot my tracts!" She wanted to give one to the young lady. She assumed she was lost and the truth is, she probably was. Why can't we give tracts out in the Dollar Store? My kids have no fear and that is a great model for me. The fear of man is leaving our home. Another bond is being broken.
Again, as for the debt, yes, I'm a little disappointed for sure that the debt is still here, but the 40 days was not in vain. I know God is still working. Hebrews 12 was this past Sunday's passage. We are still being discplined by God. That doesn't mean we are being punished. It just means He is still working in us. We are to "run with endurance the race that is set before us". God has orchestrated this whole set of circumstances. I am not to "grow weary or fainthearted", though sometimes I do. My situation isn't really so bad. I have much to be grateful for. The fact that He is disciplining us is a sign that He loves us, "for the Lord disciplines the one whom He loves." The Bible says, "It is for discipline that you have to endure." I have to endure, no choice in the matter. It is in order to "share His holiness". Great things can only come of this time of endurance. "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. I don't know when "later" is, but I want the peaceful fruit of righteousness. It also says it comes to those who have been trained by it. I'm being trained! No wonder it is so hard! No one likes being trained! We are training our horses right now and they are resisting! They fight back, bite, even buck at us. There isn't a lot of fruit in them, but we are sticking with it as we have a goal for them to be more than just expensive pets to look at.
Once again, the Bible hits the nail on the head when the writer of Hebrews addresses the believers in Rome who are struggling in their discouragement,
"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (vs. 12)
What a perfect description! It's like the description of Abraham, "as good as dead". We have drooping hands, weak knees, crooked paths, lame bank accounts and out of joint plans for the future. But, that isn't the rallying cry! It is a calling out to "lift" our drooping hands, to "strengthen" our weak knees, and to "make straight paths" for our feet! We must remain active! Strengthening our weak knees requires faith exercises again - never giving up. Making straight paths is an action, too - not sitting around depressed and discouraged. We remain full of hope - our "lame" bank account will not remain "out of joint", but instead, we are asking that it be healed! One day....one day....
One last intesting note....we are still hoping for an ark of some kind. It hasn't been revealed what that is, but God did provide that major contract during this period of fasting, too. Guess what little word is in the name of RM's company...."ark". We combined the two last names of ours and our friends' to make the company name and smack dab in the middle is the word "ark". Coincidence? I'm not sure, but perhaps the ark is right under our noses! This contract we were given may lead to more unexpected work, so though I can't say for sure, I am grateful for the work we do have.
We are now getting ready to go away for a night....we had said we wouldn't as it was way too expensive, but then RM said we could do it as long as we didn't pay full price. Turns out going away on any weekend is super expensive, especially the last long weekend of the summer, BUT if you wait until the very end of the weekend, which is the exact day of our anniversary, the prices drop dramatically and we were able to get a half-price night away at one of the nicest places in Niagara. I can't wait!!!! We are celebrating the 19th and going into the 20th year. I pray the 20th year will be the year of freedom!
The 40 days is up. I want to write that a brown paper package showed up from an anonymous donor for the exact amount of the debt, but that didn't happen. I don't think I knew exactly what would happen. Perhaps I did expect a major miracle on the 40th day, not sure, but again, I'm writing just to show that even though the debt didn't magically disappear, I'm convinced God is still working. He's just on a different schedule than I am. I am on the "do it when I want it" schedule and He's on the "I'm perfecting and finishing your faith" schedule. I guess we still have some major lessons to learn before all is said and done.
However, we did have some major answers to prayers during the course of the 40 days and we learned a lot that we weren't expecting. Here's just a few examples.....One of the major challenges to me, not unlike my children, has been sugar intake. With my oldest loving to bake, I have always loved to snack. I gave all that up during the 40 days and literally tried to only eat 3 small things a day. That might not sound like a fast, but it was! I never realized how much I snack....apparently all the time. I had been trying to eat well since January and had lost a few pounds, but if she baked up something sweet, I usually caved. Once a cookie entered my mouth, a few more would follow throughout the day. I just never had the self-discipline to stop. This fast showed me it really was a bond in my life. I gave it up for the 40 days and I really haven't missed it. The stubborn weight that I was trying to lose came off and I'm back at a weight that I've wanted to be at for years. That was huge!
Another interesting struggle was a patch on leg that has been literally irritating me for months. I have no idea how it started, but it seemed related to a varicose vein and resulted in non-stop itching all day which led to a terrible rash and was spreading all over my lower leg. I could hardly do anything but think about this irritation during the day which just made it worse. The doctor had prescribed multiple creams, none of which worked. My pharmacist sister-in-law took one look at it and was very concerned that I had a much more serious skin/vein issue than I first thought. Just over a week ago or so, I cried out to the Lord. I wasn't sure if I could be so bold, but in light of the fast, would it be possible to show himself to me? Could He show me He was working in my life? I asked straight out that He take away the itch and heal my leg. Then I kind of forgot about it. A couple of days later, it occurred to me, when was the last time I itched my leg? I couldn't remember! It must have been at least a day or two. Then I looked down. The red patch was almost completely gone. You have to realize....this had been going on for MONTHS!!! I was constantly itching my leg - it was like a form of torture. I knew if I itched it, it would get worse, but if I didn't itch it, it made me nuts! There was no doubt about it, it was healed - completely! If you were to see it now, you would never even know that part of the leg had been bothering me for so long - it's completely back to normal and no scar to even indicate where the patch of skin was so infected. Praise God!
The other miracle has to be my daughter and her health. She is the one making me breakfast this morning. She could never do that before as she was always so tired and could never get out of bed! This meal was her initiative.....everything was made by her. The greatest sign has to be in her eyes. She always had dark circles under her eyes. I never thought those would go away. They are gone. I think I wrote this before, but before if I used a crayon to draw her, I would have coloured her white. Now, I tell her, I would colour her beige! All over! That is so great! She's beige!!!!!! Thank you, Lord!!!!
Another exciting change in our family has come from hosting the street preachers this summer. At the beginning of the summer, we hosted them with some suspicions. It turns out most people they stayed with on their Cross-Canada Tour hosted them with some suspicions at first, but just like us, in all cases, by the end of their stay with each host, it was either the host family or the host church that suddenly was on-board with what they were doing and were completely convicted that we'd been one of the 98% of Christians that really didn't share their faith. How sad!!!! As a direct result of their coming to our farm, watching them live out their convictions and having attended some evangelism training they offered (including going out on the street with them), we are changed. We always saw people as lost, but never were so bold as to come right out and share with them the hope we had. I usually used the "friendship evangelism" approach where I would live it out and wait for them to ask or notice what was different about me, but the truth is, people rarely ask. Meanwhile people are dying and will be forever separated from God without us being so bold. We took our kids with us when we went out with the street preachers to the Farmer's Market. At first they were too shy to hand out the tracts. They had no idea how to do it. But once they got the hang of, they wouldn't stop. They had no fear whatsoever and were handing them out left, right and center. The next day we were in the Dollar Store and saw someone with dyed red hair. As soon as they walked by, my youngest daughter said, "Mom! I forgot my tracts!" She wanted to give one to the young lady. She assumed she was lost and the truth is, she probably was. Why can't we give tracts out in the Dollar Store? My kids have no fear and that is a great model for me. The fear of man is leaving our home. Another bond is being broken.
Again, as for the debt, yes, I'm a little disappointed for sure that the debt is still here, but the 40 days was not in vain. I know God is still working. Hebrews 12 was this past Sunday's passage. We are still being discplined by God. That doesn't mean we are being punished. It just means He is still working in us. We are to "run with endurance the race that is set before us". God has orchestrated this whole set of circumstances. I am not to "grow weary or fainthearted", though sometimes I do. My situation isn't really so bad. I have much to be grateful for. The fact that He is disciplining us is a sign that He loves us, "for the Lord disciplines the one whom He loves." The Bible says, "It is for discipline that you have to endure." I have to endure, no choice in the matter. It is in order to "share His holiness". Great things can only come of this time of endurance. "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. I don't know when "later" is, but I want the peaceful fruit of righteousness. It also says it comes to those who have been trained by it. I'm being trained! No wonder it is so hard! No one likes being trained! We are training our horses right now and they are resisting! They fight back, bite, even buck at us. There isn't a lot of fruit in them, but we are sticking with it as we have a goal for them to be more than just expensive pets to look at.
Once again, the Bible hits the nail on the head when the writer of Hebrews addresses the believers in Rome who are struggling in their discouragement,
"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (vs. 12)
What a perfect description! It's like the description of Abraham, "as good as dead". We have drooping hands, weak knees, crooked paths, lame bank accounts and out of joint plans for the future. But, that isn't the rallying cry! It is a calling out to "lift" our drooping hands, to "strengthen" our weak knees, and to "make straight paths" for our feet! We must remain active! Strengthening our weak knees requires faith exercises again - never giving up. Making straight paths is an action, too - not sitting around depressed and discouraged. We remain full of hope - our "lame" bank account will not remain "out of joint", but instead, we are asking that it be healed! One day....one day....
One last intesting note....we are still hoping for an ark of some kind. It hasn't been revealed what that is, but God did provide that major contract during this period of fasting, too. Guess what little word is in the name of RM's company...."ark". We combined the two last names of ours and our friends' to make the company name and smack dab in the middle is the word "ark". Coincidence? I'm not sure, but perhaps the ark is right under our noses! This contract we were given may lead to more unexpected work, so though I can't say for sure, I am grateful for the work we do have.
We are now getting ready to go away for a night....we had said we wouldn't as it was way too expensive, but then RM said we could do it as long as we didn't pay full price. Turns out going away on any weekend is super expensive, especially the last long weekend of the summer, BUT if you wait until the very end of the weekend, which is the exact day of our anniversary, the prices drop dramatically and we were able to get a half-price night away at one of the nicest places in Niagara. I can't wait!!!! We are celebrating the 19th and going into the 20th year. I pray the 20th year will be the year of freedom!
Thursday, 28 August 2014
I Want to Build an Ark!!!!
I'm tempted to not to document this post. It might seem like a fleece or like I'm challenging God. I don't think I am necessarily, but at the same time, I want to be careful. I'm just recording the thoughts that come to me and I do this on purpose as I wanted to write this as it happened as opposed to after it happened. I think it shows the true faith journey as I don't know how things are going to turn out. I also want to record it in case my prayers do get answered! I know they will get answered ultimately, but I'm being pretty specific today, so I wanted to have a record of the request. It will build up my faith and generations after me, too, including anyone who may read this, as I'm trying to literally document God's faithfulness. I love looking back at things I've written in my journals over the years. I find it so encouraging to remember the hard times and then see how He provided or stepped in in some way. So read it knowing I'm truly trying to give God all the glory, not as a challenge....
We are nearing the end of the fast - one of the longest fasts of my life in some ways. I'm always asking myself, or perhaps Satan is making me ask myself, "Why am I doing this again?????" So I always check in, reminding myself why we are doing this and it always takes me back to Esther and how she and her people fasted for 3 days when they found out their people were going to be completely wiped out. She was told perhaps she was made Queen "for such a time as this" to save her people. But she needed a plan, so she fasted. That is one of the reasons I am fasting, for a plan. I'm asking God to reveal to Renaissance Man and me what He wants us to do. Perhaps our people are not going to be wiped out, but then again....doesn't it feel sometimes, no matter what size the debt is, big or small, that there is this weight on our shoulders that is making us feel like we are being wiped out???? So that has to be the top reason - for a plan.
Why 40 days? I could have just done a 3 day fast, too, but I felt this was more serious. I was reminded yesterday of Noah. We had studied Hebrews 11 a few weeks back in church, but I came across it again yesterday as I happened to be there in my personal reading plan, so I re-read it and stopped at the verses on Noah. He was on the ark for 40 days and 40 nights. God was wiping the world of sin. It took that long to flood the earth. He was preparing a new work for Noah. Forty days is often a time of preparation as I've written before. It is a time of discipline. God often reveals something major, such as the Ten Commandments, or starts a new ministry in someone's life, including His own Son, after the 40 days. That was why I went with the idea of 40 days. The things I've given up, I've NEVER given up this long and it's been hard. But, I wanted God to do a work like I've never seen before, so I was willing to do whatever it took to be a part of that work.
I went back and read the story of Noah in Genesis. I wanted to see if something else jumped out at me as I re-read the story. Sure enough, over and over again, I noticed the phrase, "....and Noah did EVERYTHING God commanded him." That was when the pieces started to fall together in my head. God had asked Noah to build an ark! So crazy! I've written about this before, too, but it never ceases to amaze me that Noah obeyed and built an ark! God really could have just sent him one to save him and his family, but he made Noah and his family build it, over, no doubt, many years. So yesterday, I specifically sad to God, "I want to build an ark, too." What do I mean, you might ask? Well, as I thought about Esther, praying for a plan and then I thought about Noah, it occurred to me, God answered her prayers by revealing a way to talk to the King without getting killed. She was able to save her people. With Noah, there was the problem of all the sin on the Earth and yet his family was righteous. God gave Noah a way to save his family and wipe out the sin of the world. "Lord," I prayed, "Give us a way to wipe out the debt. Give us a way of saving our future generations. Give us an ark to build!" Like I said, God didn't send an ark, He had Noah build it. I'm not asking for the lottery or a cheque in the mail to magically wipe out debt. I know we have to work for it. I'm asking for the work!
This was the funny part. As I kept reading in Ch. 11, I came across Abraham again. The phrase that struck me there was he, too, was obedient and went where God wanted him to go "even though he did not know where he was going." My prayer again, "Show us where you want us to go. We'll go!" Abraham and his children even "lived in tents" as they went to this foreign country. I could relate. Perhaps we haven't lived in tents, but anyone who knows this journey we've been on for 5 years would agree...we moved every few weeks there for a while, with 6 kids, and one on the way....it was as if we were nomads when we were building that house. I still don't know how we got through that time except for the grace of God. Actually I do know how we got through that time, it was just like Abraham, "For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." That was it. We had forward thinking, still do, looking forward to a life of no debt...that was what kept us going. His wife, Sarah, alongside him, was right there with him, full of faith as well. And here's my favourite new phrase from the Bible, Abraham showed this faith when he was "as good as dead"! So I literally prayed that, too, for my husband, who is getting weary from this gazelle intensity, "Lord, give us an ark to build, as my husband is as good as dead!" Sounds funny, but I know he is tired. Poor Abraham, finding out his wife was about to have a baby when he was in his last days! Must have made him feel even older! Yet God gave him a baby and I'm sure it energized him!
So, does it seem like a fleece? I don't know. Perhaps God is even showing me how to pray? Hebrews 11 later talks about how at any time the people of faith that are mentioned could have gone back to their home country. Noah could have stopped building the ark. Abraham could have gone home. Sarah could have terminated the pregnancy. NONE of them did. What kept them going was their forward thinking, "Instead, they were longing for a better country, a heavenly one." That really struck me, too. Their longing. That is what it is for me, too, a longing. I've had that feeling before when I longed for more babies. Anyone who has wanted to be pregnant understands that longing....it is all you can think about day and night. Before that, it was a longing to be married. I don't think I could have been accused of discontent when I had these longings. Quite the opposite, actually. I think God placed those longings in my heart. The sin would have been to sit there in my house and hope a prince came along. I never did that. The longing motivated me to be the most eligible bachelorette out there! It motivated me to seek God and develop the qualities He wanted in me that would draw the right man into my life. Same with a baby - I couldn't sit in my house and just hope for a baby. I had to stay active, give to those around me, seeking God all the time as I waited. I never knew if He was going to give me a husband or a baby, but I rested in the fact He had put those longings in my heart, so by faith, I really trusted Him to be faithful. One of my favourite verses during those years of waiting was from Isaiah, "For He longs to be gracious to you." That was such an encouragement to me. Getting out of debt has got to be a longing placed there by God, too, but just like with the longing for a husband or a baby, I cannot just sit here and hope for a miracle. I am asking God to show us what we can do, in addition to the things we are already doing. I think we need a job to do that is ark-like in its scale, so I'm asking for an ark. I want to build an ark! Ok, I know that it will probably not be me building it. It'll be my husband who is "as good as dead", so that is why I'm thinking and praying, "Lord, show it to us soon!"
Remember, God doesn't always answer how we hope and even that is an answer, so though I'm asking boldly, really boldly, I know that I must be content with no ark if that is His will. But, if we get an ark-type job, I'll be thrilled!
Ok, it's documented. It's in God's hands. Now I wait.
We are nearing the end of the fast - one of the longest fasts of my life in some ways. I'm always asking myself, or perhaps Satan is making me ask myself, "Why am I doing this again?????" So I always check in, reminding myself why we are doing this and it always takes me back to Esther and how she and her people fasted for 3 days when they found out their people were going to be completely wiped out. She was told perhaps she was made Queen "for such a time as this" to save her people. But she needed a plan, so she fasted. That is one of the reasons I am fasting, for a plan. I'm asking God to reveal to Renaissance Man and me what He wants us to do. Perhaps our people are not going to be wiped out, but then again....doesn't it feel sometimes, no matter what size the debt is, big or small, that there is this weight on our shoulders that is making us feel like we are being wiped out???? So that has to be the top reason - for a plan.
Why 40 days? I could have just done a 3 day fast, too, but I felt this was more serious. I was reminded yesterday of Noah. We had studied Hebrews 11 a few weeks back in church, but I came across it again yesterday as I happened to be there in my personal reading plan, so I re-read it and stopped at the verses on Noah. He was on the ark for 40 days and 40 nights. God was wiping the world of sin. It took that long to flood the earth. He was preparing a new work for Noah. Forty days is often a time of preparation as I've written before. It is a time of discipline. God often reveals something major, such as the Ten Commandments, or starts a new ministry in someone's life, including His own Son, after the 40 days. That was why I went with the idea of 40 days. The things I've given up, I've NEVER given up this long and it's been hard. But, I wanted God to do a work like I've never seen before, so I was willing to do whatever it took to be a part of that work.
I went back and read the story of Noah in Genesis. I wanted to see if something else jumped out at me as I re-read the story. Sure enough, over and over again, I noticed the phrase, "....and Noah did EVERYTHING God commanded him." That was when the pieces started to fall together in my head. God had asked Noah to build an ark! So crazy! I've written about this before, too, but it never ceases to amaze me that Noah obeyed and built an ark! God really could have just sent him one to save him and his family, but he made Noah and his family build it, over, no doubt, many years. So yesterday, I specifically sad to God, "I want to build an ark, too." What do I mean, you might ask? Well, as I thought about Esther, praying for a plan and then I thought about Noah, it occurred to me, God answered her prayers by revealing a way to talk to the King without getting killed. She was able to save her people. With Noah, there was the problem of all the sin on the Earth and yet his family was righteous. God gave Noah a way to save his family and wipe out the sin of the world. "Lord," I prayed, "Give us a way to wipe out the debt. Give us a way of saving our future generations. Give us an ark to build!" Like I said, God didn't send an ark, He had Noah build it. I'm not asking for the lottery or a cheque in the mail to magically wipe out debt. I know we have to work for it. I'm asking for the work!
This was the funny part. As I kept reading in Ch. 11, I came across Abraham again. The phrase that struck me there was he, too, was obedient and went where God wanted him to go "even though he did not know where he was going." My prayer again, "Show us where you want us to go. We'll go!" Abraham and his children even "lived in tents" as they went to this foreign country. I could relate. Perhaps we haven't lived in tents, but anyone who knows this journey we've been on for 5 years would agree...we moved every few weeks there for a while, with 6 kids, and one on the way....it was as if we were nomads when we were building that house. I still don't know how we got through that time except for the grace of God. Actually I do know how we got through that time, it was just like Abraham, "For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." That was it. We had forward thinking, still do, looking forward to a life of no debt...that was what kept us going. His wife, Sarah, alongside him, was right there with him, full of faith as well. And here's my favourite new phrase from the Bible, Abraham showed this faith when he was "as good as dead"! So I literally prayed that, too, for my husband, who is getting weary from this gazelle intensity, "Lord, give us an ark to build, as my husband is as good as dead!" Sounds funny, but I know he is tired. Poor Abraham, finding out his wife was about to have a baby when he was in his last days! Must have made him feel even older! Yet God gave him a baby and I'm sure it energized him!
So, does it seem like a fleece? I don't know. Perhaps God is even showing me how to pray? Hebrews 11 later talks about how at any time the people of faith that are mentioned could have gone back to their home country. Noah could have stopped building the ark. Abraham could have gone home. Sarah could have terminated the pregnancy. NONE of them did. What kept them going was their forward thinking, "Instead, they were longing for a better country, a heavenly one." That really struck me, too. Their longing. That is what it is for me, too, a longing. I've had that feeling before when I longed for more babies. Anyone who has wanted to be pregnant understands that longing....it is all you can think about day and night. Before that, it was a longing to be married. I don't think I could have been accused of discontent when I had these longings. Quite the opposite, actually. I think God placed those longings in my heart. The sin would have been to sit there in my house and hope a prince came along. I never did that. The longing motivated me to be the most eligible bachelorette out there! It motivated me to seek God and develop the qualities He wanted in me that would draw the right man into my life. Same with a baby - I couldn't sit in my house and just hope for a baby. I had to stay active, give to those around me, seeking God all the time as I waited. I never knew if He was going to give me a husband or a baby, but I rested in the fact He had put those longings in my heart, so by faith, I really trusted Him to be faithful. One of my favourite verses during those years of waiting was from Isaiah, "For He longs to be gracious to you." That was such an encouragement to me. Getting out of debt has got to be a longing placed there by God, too, but just like with the longing for a husband or a baby, I cannot just sit here and hope for a miracle. I am asking God to show us what we can do, in addition to the things we are already doing. I think we need a job to do that is ark-like in its scale, so I'm asking for an ark. I want to build an ark! Ok, I know that it will probably not be me building it. It'll be my husband who is "as good as dead", so that is why I'm thinking and praying, "Lord, show it to us soon!"
Remember, God doesn't always answer how we hope and even that is an answer, so though I'm asking boldly, really boldly, I know that I must be content with no ark if that is His will. But, if we get an ark-type job, I'll be thrilled!
Ok, it's documented. It's in God's hands. Now I wait.
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