Every Christmas since 4 years ago, I wonder how we will handle it as a family. Will we change our original plan of attempting to go "gift-free"? Or will we go back to what we used to do? Without even thinking about it, really, we have decided to keep it simple and you won't catch me anywhere near a mall at Christmas.
It has actually been the easiest decision. The kids don't even flinch. One of the youngest boys, however, had just been a little tot when we first made the decision and really didn't know about it or how it came to be. I had to walk him through the whole thing after we came back from a store a few weeks ago. We had been in the store and he had been wandering around on his own. He found the toy aisle and was admiring all the toys. An employee walked by and said, "Are you going to put that on your Christmas list?" He started thinking. I can just imagine the thoughts swirling in his head, "You can do that? You can make a Christmas list?! Awesome!" So he came to me and basically said just that, "I'm putting that toy on my Christmas list!" "Uh....there's a bit of a problem with that....we don't actually make Christmas lists anymore....sorry!" He wasn't too pleased. At first. But that led me to walk him through the whole story. He had never heard it! Once I explained it to him, he was immediately on board. Once again, I was shocked. None of the kids have given me grief at all about our decision. They all understand. There is no coercion. Even I am a little surprised! I always feel like an awful mom until I hear myself describe what a nutbar I used to be at Christmas, how I could never really enjoy the season because I was always stressed about money, budgets, overspending, what to buy, when I would go, who would watch the kids, had I bought enough, should I buy more, what about this child, what about that child, was it even steven? I could go on and on.....I explained to him, "You need a sane, healthy mommy and this way you get to do all the fun things and your mommy stays happy, too!"
So that's what has happened this year again. We've done so many fun things, lots of great Christmas-y field trips, art classes, skating, sledding, baking, decorating....all on a fairly low-key budget and on top of it, I'm happy! In fact, everyone is! I think that is why we have buy-in. We don't ignore Christmas. We love Christmas and fully embrace the joy that this season can bring. The younger girls have been busy making gifts for friends and family as a different activity this year. I've been busy doing the same. It's been really fun!
Last night, however, the kids got in the Christmas gift-giving spirit and wanted to do something for their siblings. How could they do that without shopping? So the younger 4 suddenly went nuts and ran all over the house looking for little treasures in their rooms that they thought their other siblings would want. It turned into a gift-wrapping extravaganza. They wrapped and wrapped all night. I didn't stop them. Was it messy? Yes. Did they waste meters and meters of tape and wrapping paper? Yes. But I have no problem with that kind of mess or that kind of gift-giving. It was easy to clean up and it was pretty cheap paper to begin with. To be clear, I am not against giving gifts. I am against being forced to buy so many for one day only. My daughter's birthday is this week. It is easy to buy for one child! I just can't do the shopping for 8! So, my tree now has all sorts of little messily-wrapped gifts under it. They were so excited though that they started opening some of them right away. Why wait?
My other "family" that we adopted last year, that lived with us on and off, will be over this week. The mom wanted to exchange gifts, so last year we picked names, and we did buy gifts for their family and vice versa. I had my kids do all the shopping. It was again too much for me to think about. This year, I told her, I didn't want to do that again. But she loves shopping, loves spending money, loves gifts and giving gifts! She insisted that we strike a deal. We settled on stockings only. I told her there was no way I could fill stockings for 18 people. She saw my turmoil and said that she would do the stockings if I did the meal. It probably ended up costing the same anyway, so we agreed and settled on that. Whew! Deal!
Of course I've still had to go to dollar stores or drug stores or grocery stores just to pick up regular items here and there. It is a zoo out there! I can hardly find a parking spot sometimes. The line ups are crazy and things I need are inevitably often out of stock. There is so much to love about this season, but there's definitely a downside. Thank goodness for the daily reminders in our Bible reading and our weekly reminders at church that this season is not what the world thinks it is about, but instead about how Christ came to redeem us. We need so much redemption! And not just at Christmas time, all year! Every day! I truly love Christmas and I feel it has been redeemed for me from what it used to be like. One day our tradition may change, but for now, we are completely at peace at simply being gifts to one another.
Wednesday 20 December 2017
Thursday 14 December 2017
Hard Foreheads and Stubborn Hearts
We all know our kids aren't perfect, but whoa....was I ever reminded a couple of days ago. It seems even though we don't have a video game set or anything like that, our kids will seek out a way to play these annoying games. We've made it pretty clear we'd rather them spend their time doing something that will be more productive. Only the two older children have phones at this point and we have a couple of lap tops. But these laptops all have games on them that just come with the computers. How handy! Also, it is very easy to download games onto phones. Even my 7 year old knows how to do this. And, quite regularly, my phone or my daughter's phone will mysteriously disappear. We'll call all the kids who are regular law breakers and sure enough, they have it and were using it for games.
This week was a busy week of having different people over for different events so I was often cleaning, baking or actually visiting. Sometimes if the kids are out of sight and it's quiet, I won't run around looking for them. It can be a nice break to have the silence! Big mistake. I should have checked in. Silence may be golden, but around here, it's a clue that something is up.
My 7 year old had been gone too long. It was too quiet. I should have known. But I was enjoying my visit so much with these ladies that were over! After they left and he was still missing, I finally realized I wasn't being the best parent and called him down. Surprisingly, he came right away. Another clue! I knew there wasn't a computer upstairs and I had my phone, so what was he doing? This is where it almost gets funny, if it weren't so awful.....
Me: Where were you?
Him: Upstairs.
Me: What were you doing?
Him: Nothing
Me: Nothing?
Him: Well, I was actually reading my Bible. (another clue: he's not that strong a reader and he doesn't own his own Bible yet)
Me: (super suspicious now...my other son and I looked at each other, raised our eyebrows at the same time and shook our heads "no" to one another...) Really? You were reading your Bible?
Him: Yes. I was just wanting to read more about self-control.
Me: (I nearly choked at this point). Self- control?! Oh! How interesting!
I was trying so hard not to laugh. He was handing me line after line that was just so out of character for him. He was trying to talk like he was Charles Wesley or something. I quickly texted my husband and told him what my son said. He said, "Give him the benefit of the doubt." So I did. Until I put him to bed....
Me: So, where is the Bible that you were reading?
Him: Oh, well, it's here somewhere (as he anxiously looked around his room). I can't seem to find it.
Me; (now I knew something was up). What were you reading then?
Him: Oh, this book here (and he randomly pulls a science book off the shelf...NOT a Bible)
Me: (got 'em!) Ok, now we know you were lying....
So, he's a liar! I was so upset! When I questioned him some more we found out he had found an old phone of my daughters, downloaded a game and was playing happily upstairs the whole time. I was unaware what my sneaky kid was up to! When I asked him why he said all those lovely things about reading the Bible (who wouldn't want to hear that?!), he said he knew it would make me happy and that way he wouldn't get in trouble.
We are still trying to figure out the best consequence for this liar liar. My husband hasn't been home to discuss it much, but we aren't going to let this one slide. If you can lie, you can do anything.
It was a great opportunity to talk about Jesus though because as my son cried and cried about being caught (he was remorseful at least!), I told him he has to try to be a good boy. He said, through his tears, "But I can't! It's so hard!" I quickly interjected, "Yes! That's just it! It is TOO hard! We can't do it on our own! That is exactly why Jesus came!" He prayed, I prayed. And then I quickly got rid of the phone!
The next day we read about Ezekiel and the stubbornness of Israel. "But the house of Israel will not be willing to listen to you, for they are not willing to listen to me: because all the house of Israel have a hard forehead and a stubborn heart." (3:7)
My husband and I are my children's prophets. We are in authority over our children and it is our job to point them to Christ and help them see their need for Him. Like the verse says, if they won't listen to us, they won't listen to God. We have to constantly pray about their hard foreheads and their stubborn hearts! What a responsibility!
For the next couple of days, I would see my son and he would look at me and say, "Sorry." I knew what he was sorry for. I think he was truly repentant. But, boy oh boy, was it ever a good reminder to keep an eye on him and to not let visiting friends get in the way of watching for my kids.
This week was a busy week of having different people over for different events so I was often cleaning, baking or actually visiting. Sometimes if the kids are out of sight and it's quiet, I won't run around looking for them. It can be a nice break to have the silence! Big mistake. I should have checked in. Silence may be golden, but around here, it's a clue that something is up.
My 7 year old had been gone too long. It was too quiet. I should have known. But I was enjoying my visit so much with these ladies that were over! After they left and he was still missing, I finally realized I wasn't being the best parent and called him down. Surprisingly, he came right away. Another clue! I knew there wasn't a computer upstairs and I had my phone, so what was he doing? This is where it almost gets funny, if it weren't so awful.....
Me: Where were you?
Him: Upstairs.
Me: What were you doing?
Him: Nothing
Me: Nothing?
Him: Well, I was actually reading my Bible. (another clue: he's not that strong a reader and he doesn't own his own Bible yet)
Me: (super suspicious now...my other son and I looked at each other, raised our eyebrows at the same time and shook our heads "no" to one another...) Really? You were reading your Bible?
Him: Yes. I was just wanting to read more about self-control.
Me: (I nearly choked at this point). Self- control?! Oh! How interesting!
I was trying so hard not to laugh. He was handing me line after line that was just so out of character for him. He was trying to talk like he was Charles Wesley or something. I quickly texted my husband and told him what my son said. He said, "Give him the benefit of the doubt." So I did. Until I put him to bed....
Me: So, where is the Bible that you were reading?
Him: Oh, well, it's here somewhere (as he anxiously looked around his room). I can't seem to find it.
Me; (now I knew something was up). What were you reading then?
Him: Oh, this book here (and he randomly pulls a science book off the shelf...NOT a Bible)
Me: (got 'em!) Ok, now we know you were lying....
So, he's a liar! I was so upset! When I questioned him some more we found out he had found an old phone of my daughters, downloaded a game and was playing happily upstairs the whole time. I was unaware what my sneaky kid was up to! When I asked him why he said all those lovely things about reading the Bible (who wouldn't want to hear that?!), he said he knew it would make me happy and that way he wouldn't get in trouble.
We are still trying to figure out the best consequence for this liar liar. My husband hasn't been home to discuss it much, but we aren't going to let this one slide. If you can lie, you can do anything.
It was a great opportunity to talk about Jesus though because as my son cried and cried about being caught (he was remorseful at least!), I told him he has to try to be a good boy. He said, through his tears, "But I can't! It's so hard!" I quickly interjected, "Yes! That's just it! It is TOO hard! We can't do it on our own! That is exactly why Jesus came!" He prayed, I prayed. And then I quickly got rid of the phone!
The next day we read about Ezekiel and the stubbornness of Israel. "But the house of Israel will not be willing to listen to you, for they are not willing to listen to me: because all the house of Israel have a hard forehead and a stubborn heart." (3:7)
My husband and I are my children's prophets. We are in authority over our children and it is our job to point them to Christ and help them see their need for Him. Like the verse says, if they won't listen to us, they won't listen to God. We have to constantly pray about their hard foreheads and their stubborn hearts! What a responsibility!
For the next couple of days, I would see my son and he would look at me and say, "Sorry." I knew what he was sorry for. I think he was truly repentant. But, boy oh boy, was it ever a good reminder to keep an eye on him and to not let visiting friends get in the way of watching for my kids.
Wednesday 13 December 2017
Feeling Grateful
I feel like I'm living in a new house. It is not a new house. No, no, it is far, far, from being a new house...over 200 years old actually, but to us it is new and remarkably larger though we've done nothing to add space to it.
It kind of goes back to the original posts from several years ago. In those early days when we had decided to really buckle down on spending and had even decided to not spend money on the house, God opened my eyes even then to contentment. He showed me how much I had and that I needed to stop wishing I had more. That was when, what I called, "The Multiplication Effect" occurred.
One day I looked at my cramped family room and suddenly I saw the problem. I quickly got some kids on board, moved around a few pieces of furniture, took a few out and in a blink of an eye, we had a much larger room that could accommodate all of us. That happened in other rooms of the house, even in the barn! Nothing had changed in our home, but I can only think God was just waiting for my attitude to change and that was when He opened my eyes to these strange blessings of multiplication in the space of our home.
Now our younger tribe has gotten much older and much bigger. With 2 adult children and 2 more well on their ways, it was getting cramped. This time it was my husband's eyes that were opened. . A couple of years ago he looked at one of our walls and decided it was time to tear it down and so he did! We started with one and now, 2 more just this Fall, has seen our house open up to new exponential space. My 5 year old said recently, "On the outside our house looks really small, but on the INSIDE it's BIG!!!!"
Add in my new best friend neighbour who gave us two 7 ft. long couches and we have doubled our seating. Every time someone comes over, I marvel, as now we have two large seating areas that accommodate a lot of people now. This has always been my dream to have large groups of people in the same area, able to visit and fellowship, all under one roof, in one space.
It kind of seems to go against the debt-reduction plan to do all of these renovations and several years ago when we first made that decision we had said just that, "No renovations", but then we found our heating costs so high that we found we actually had to do something if we didn't want to go broke paying the heating bills, so that's when we started the ripping out of outside walls just so we could insulate and update the old plaster and lathe. We are one wall away from insulating the whole family room now. The new drywall is up and is ready for the mudding and eventual paint.
But, back to the debt-reduction plan....I like decor. I try not to! Decor is expensive! Back when we lived in town all the stores I loved to shop in were so expensive and they just left me discontent as there was no way I could ever afford to decorate with their price tags. But then what do you do with what I feel is a God-given desire to make my "nest" a cozy place? Did I have to leave the walls bare? Paint wasn't an option at this point. I was anxious though.....would I have to wait for years for paint? When would I be able to put things back up on the walls? I was hosting a number of seasonal events.....I wanted it to at least have the facade of being done. But then RM gave the green light, "Hang stuff up, we won't be painting for a while....." Oh yeah! So I did. And that's where more mini miracles happened.....
I now had more wall space then I knew what to do with. Like I said, in the olden days, I would have wished I could have gone to a store and purchased all sorts of rustic decor. then knowing the price tags, sighed, and given up. Not this time. I just walked over to my on-site rustic decor "store", i.e., the barn, and started hunting. I found more window frames that I hadn't seen or used before and quickly dusted them off (I don't even bother sanding, no time for that) and literally threw them on my bare, unpainted freshly drywalled walls. Then, I ran outside, cut off some greenery, which up until last year, I hadn't even noticed we had, and threw that around the house. It was looking good!
One more touch....we had no lighting! We have looked at beautiful fixtures, but are waiting until everything is complete, so in the meantime, I grabbed all the Christmas lights and a son, and asked him to go around the ceiling edges putting them up. He did and now we have beautiful white lights around almost the entire perimeter of the family room. It gives such a nice glow to the house.
Not being particularly crafty, but knowing I had access to vines, I knew I had to do something with them this year or it would be a big waste of craft supplies! Last year I cut all sorts of vines off the grapes and put them in storage for the winter thinking I would do something with them in the spring. Not smart. Over the winter they turned to dust. Each time I picked one up it crumbled in my hands. This year I knew I had to cut them and immediately make them into something. So on one of the last warm days of Fall, I went down and cut a whole bunch of vines and turned them into mini Christmas trees. I absolutely love them and can't even believe I did them myself! My own kids are in a bit of shock, "You made that?" All it took was my time. They're all over the inside of the house and I even threw a couple outside and they make the front porch look so festive. Why couldn't I see these things before? Why did I think I had to buy everything? Why am I suddenly aware that I can do these things when I used to think it was only those people born with the craft skill that could make things themselves? I can't explain it, except that my eyes were opened again.
The flooring is currently plywood, but that's fine for now. We're waiting on a steal of a deal. So here I sit in what seems like our new home. I can hardly believe how the home has been transformed from what I always called "our dumpy farmhouse" to a new and improved version. I never knew beautiful ancient beams were hiding under an unattractive drop ceiling. I never knew there was free rustic decor at my disposal when we first bought this place. I never knew it would actually be the biggest home we had lived in when all I saw was a tiny, badly-organized floorplan at first viewing. It's one of those "don't judge a book by it's cover" moments or a badly wrapped gift that seems small and you only want the big gift with the fancy packaging. Yet, here it was, under all the old coverings lay this gift I could have never imagined when we first bought this place 7 years ago. It is far from being finished, but I am seeing the tremendous blessing it is to our family and not a single square inch has been added.....it is the Multiplication Effect again.
This is my nest. Psalm 84:3, "Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young..." I spend a lot of time in my nest. I am no different than a bird. I just want my nest to be cozy and a place where my birdies will be comfortable and happy. I want them to stay as long as possible and I'll always want them to come back and visit. I'm convinced this desire has been put in me by God Himself. He could have made the world unattractive, but He made creation so beautiful that it really defies description. It is a heavenly desire to long for beautiful things. Of course, the world has taken this desire and turned it into an idol, but it doesn't have to be if we recognize the source of this desire and keep our sin nature in check. Just as the mommy bird takes her time in making her nest comfortable so do I. None of this happened overnight. It has been a long process and I'm so glad God didn't give me what I wanted when I wanted it. I don't think I would have appreciated it as much. A friend came over yesterday and complimented me on the decor. I was able to say, "The best part? It was all free!"
A quick reminder this morning that there's work to do.....the water is frozen.....we didn't get the heater in the pumphouse soon enough! So, it's not perfect, we are a work in progress....but I'm still grateful!!!!
It kind of goes back to the original posts from several years ago. In those early days when we had decided to really buckle down on spending and had even decided to not spend money on the house, God opened my eyes even then to contentment. He showed me how much I had and that I needed to stop wishing I had more. That was when, what I called, "The Multiplication Effect" occurred.
One day I looked at my cramped family room and suddenly I saw the problem. I quickly got some kids on board, moved around a few pieces of furniture, took a few out and in a blink of an eye, we had a much larger room that could accommodate all of us. That happened in other rooms of the house, even in the barn! Nothing had changed in our home, but I can only think God was just waiting for my attitude to change and that was when He opened my eyes to these strange blessings of multiplication in the space of our home.
Now our younger tribe has gotten much older and much bigger. With 2 adult children and 2 more well on their ways, it was getting cramped. This time it was my husband's eyes that were opened. . A couple of years ago he looked at one of our walls and decided it was time to tear it down and so he did! We started with one and now, 2 more just this Fall, has seen our house open up to new exponential space. My 5 year old said recently, "On the outside our house looks really small, but on the INSIDE it's BIG!!!!"
Add in my new best friend neighbour who gave us two 7 ft. long couches and we have doubled our seating. Every time someone comes over, I marvel, as now we have two large seating areas that accommodate a lot of people now. This has always been my dream to have large groups of people in the same area, able to visit and fellowship, all under one roof, in one space.
It kind of seems to go against the debt-reduction plan to do all of these renovations and several years ago when we first made that decision we had said just that, "No renovations", but then we found our heating costs so high that we found we actually had to do something if we didn't want to go broke paying the heating bills, so that's when we started the ripping out of outside walls just so we could insulate and update the old plaster and lathe. We are one wall away from insulating the whole family room now. The new drywall is up and is ready for the mudding and eventual paint.
But, back to the debt-reduction plan....I like decor. I try not to! Decor is expensive! Back when we lived in town all the stores I loved to shop in were so expensive and they just left me discontent as there was no way I could ever afford to decorate with their price tags. But then what do you do with what I feel is a God-given desire to make my "nest" a cozy place? Did I have to leave the walls bare? Paint wasn't an option at this point. I was anxious though.....would I have to wait for years for paint? When would I be able to put things back up on the walls? I was hosting a number of seasonal events.....I wanted it to at least have the facade of being done. But then RM gave the green light, "Hang stuff up, we won't be painting for a while....." Oh yeah! So I did. And that's where more mini miracles happened.....
I now had more wall space then I knew what to do with. Like I said, in the olden days, I would have wished I could have gone to a store and purchased all sorts of rustic decor. then knowing the price tags, sighed, and given up. Not this time. I just walked over to my on-site rustic decor "store", i.e., the barn, and started hunting. I found more window frames that I hadn't seen or used before and quickly dusted them off (I don't even bother sanding, no time for that) and literally threw them on my bare, unpainted freshly drywalled walls. Then, I ran outside, cut off some greenery, which up until last year, I hadn't even noticed we had, and threw that around the house. It was looking good!
One more touch....we had no lighting! We have looked at beautiful fixtures, but are waiting until everything is complete, so in the meantime, I grabbed all the Christmas lights and a son, and asked him to go around the ceiling edges putting them up. He did and now we have beautiful white lights around almost the entire perimeter of the family room. It gives such a nice glow to the house.
Not being particularly crafty, but knowing I had access to vines, I knew I had to do something with them this year or it would be a big waste of craft supplies! Last year I cut all sorts of vines off the grapes and put them in storage for the winter thinking I would do something with them in the spring. Not smart. Over the winter they turned to dust. Each time I picked one up it crumbled in my hands. This year I knew I had to cut them and immediately make them into something. So on one of the last warm days of Fall, I went down and cut a whole bunch of vines and turned them into mini Christmas trees. I absolutely love them and can't even believe I did them myself! My own kids are in a bit of shock, "You made that?" All it took was my time. They're all over the inside of the house and I even threw a couple outside and they make the front porch look so festive. Why couldn't I see these things before? Why did I think I had to buy everything? Why am I suddenly aware that I can do these things when I used to think it was only those people born with the craft skill that could make things themselves? I can't explain it, except that my eyes were opened again.
The flooring is currently plywood, but that's fine for now. We're waiting on a steal of a deal. So here I sit in what seems like our new home. I can hardly believe how the home has been transformed from what I always called "our dumpy farmhouse" to a new and improved version. I never knew beautiful ancient beams were hiding under an unattractive drop ceiling. I never knew there was free rustic decor at my disposal when we first bought this place. I never knew it would actually be the biggest home we had lived in when all I saw was a tiny, badly-organized floorplan at first viewing. It's one of those "don't judge a book by it's cover" moments or a badly wrapped gift that seems small and you only want the big gift with the fancy packaging. Yet, here it was, under all the old coverings lay this gift I could have never imagined when we first bought this place 7 years ago. It is far from being finished, but I am seeing the tremendous blessing it is to our family and not a single square inch has been added.....it is the Multiplication Effect again.
This is my nest. Psalm 84:3, "Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young..." I spend a lot of time in my nest. I am no different than a bird. I just want my nest to be cozy and a place where my birdies will be comfortable and happy. I want them to stay as long as possible and I'll always want them to come back and visit. I'm convinced this desire has been put in me by God Himself. He could have made the world unattractive, but He made creation so beautiful that it really defies description. It is a heavenly desire to long for beautiful things. Of course, the world has taken this desire and turned it into an idol, but it doesn't have to be if we recognize the source of this desire and keep our sin nature in check. Just as the mommy bird takes her time in making her nest comfortable so do I. None of this happened overnight. It has been a long process and I'm so glad God didn't give me what I wanted when I wanted it. I don't think I would have appreciated it as much. A friend came over yesterday and complimented me on the decor. I was able to say, "The best part? It was all free!"
A quick reminder this morning that there's work to do.....the water is frozen.....we didn't get the heater in the pumphouse soon enough! So, it's not perfect, we are a work in progress....but I'm still grateful!!!!
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