Thursday 25 June 2015

The Power of Deadlines and a Three-Fold Miracle

Sadly, I have finally found what motivates me...... deadlines.  We talked about doing crafts all through the winter and we did do some, but not as many as I had hoped.  Something always came up that interrupted us from doing more.  Our evenings were busy, but we weren't able to use our basement where we had set up a table for working because of the constant flooding down there (still to be fixed!).   Excuses, excuses.....

Finally, I read a little blurb in the newspaper about a craft table being available and I asked RM if he thought we could do it.  "Sure!"  We hardly had anything to sell at that point, but we had a ton of ideas.  We thought we had tons of time, but between his engineering work and farming work, we are down to the wire.  That is why deadlines are so good.  If we weren't committed, i.e., we paid for table space, then I'm sure we would have said, "Forget it, no time", but now, we have no choice!  Has it taken the love of sewing from me?  Uh, a little.  It is never fun trying to create things under pressure!  But at the same time, it excites me!  Now, only a few days away, we've been trying to use every free moment to finish up something here or there and we won't have much, but we'll have a little.  Nothing is particularly professional looking and we might not even sell one thing, but it has been a good experience for our kids and even for us to see what it takes.  So far this is the only one we've signed up for.  I think we wanted to see if we would be able to even do one fair this summer and sure enough, it was more work than we thought it would be.  I kind of forgot

I also signed up for a 5K  That is the only reason I get out of bed these days as I had fallen into a bit of a rut in the winter and was finding it really hard to get out of bed if I had had a bad night.  I was still getting up early, but I was no longer exercising and I could tell.  This deadline which is fast approaching, as well, is incredibly motivating!  I had never run a 5K before until 3 years ago.  I did a very funny program called "Couch to 5K" (great name for a program don't you think?) and it worked - I managed to finish a 5K in a decent amount of time.  I didn't win any awards, but I was pretty proud of the accomplishment.  Three years later, I was needing the motivation again.  I figured I didn't need to sign up for a 5K, I'd have enough inner motivation to do it.  Nope.  Again, I would wake up, but you couldn't get me out the door.  Finally, I made my daughter sign me up.  There was a cost, so I didn't want to waste my money.  Suddenly, there I am, running each morning.  I don't really enjoy it, the actual exercise, but I do love being outside and enjoying the amazing summer weather.  We live in a very scenic area, so it is awesome to run where grapes are being grown, hay is being cut, barns are being put up.... all so beautiful.  I wait for so many months for this kind of weather, so I figure this is a good way to enjoy it.  I pray for a lot of the time I'm running and the rest of the time I'm trying to figure out a way to get home faster as there are also a lot of hills where I live and that makes it a very unpleasant experience.  The 5K is a very awful run, tons of hills, so I actually have to train on these hills or I'll die the day of which I nearly did 3 years ago.

I'm kind of grateful for these deadlines though.  They show me how much I could be accomplishing if I were this motivated all the time.  It also reveals how much time I waste when I'm not motivated.   We've tried to motivate ourselves with respect to debt, too.  We've given ourselves certain deadlines to have it paid off by, for example, the next time the mortgage comes up for renewal, we'd like to say, "We don't need to renew, here's the rest that is owed".  Perhaps, like the craft table, we won't have it all there at that meeting, but we're pushing ourselves to do it. 

Another miracle has happened in this whole getting-out-of-debt process, too.  When RM was writing his course, he was offered a certain amount of money plus a certain percentage for the royalties (based on how many would watch his course).  He could have taken a lower amount of money and higher royalties, but it was a little too risky.  Plus, and this is my sceptical wife coming out, I honestly didn't think anyone would actually watch his course!  It turns out his course is extremely popular, who knew!?  So now, unbelievably, he is actually making money off his course through the royalties!  This is a complete surprise to me and to him, too. 

The miracle is three-fold:

#1 - He's doing something that he loves to do, share his knowledge.  We always wondered how he could make money off of the wealth of knowledge he had without boring people to death at dinner parties!  Writing it all down in the form of a course is perfect!  He'll literally never run out of ideas for courses.... so amazing. 

#2 - It isn't killing him physically!  In the last few years, he's struggled with pain a lot due to the hard physical labour he's put in over the years and it's finally catching up with him.  He takes a lot of pain killers just to get through a day sometimes.  Writing the courses allows him to sit at his desk and just write!  He does get stiff sitting there if he writes for hours in a row, but living on a farm means he has lots of reasons to get up, too.  However, it isn't causing him the level of pain he was experiencing from his engineering work.  We'll still take the hard physical labour, especially if it means getting us out of debt, but this has been a welcome relief.

#3 - This is completely out of the blue and a gift from God.  We have no way of controlling who watches the course or how many watch his courses.  It is entirely out of our hands.  Knowing it is being watched by so many humbles us and makes us grateful for God's blessing on all the work RM did.  His job was to be diligent and faithful in the writing and God is doing the rest.  I had read about miracles like this in "Getting Out of Debt" books where it seemed impossible to get out of debt as there was no additional sources of income to pay down debt, but then, once the couple made the decision to get out of debt, God would miraculously provide extra income out of nowhere.  And, like everything we've observed since we started this journey, it's always little by little, never huge amounts of income, just small increments that keep us faithful, yet encouraged, to keep on keeping on.

Deadlines and miracles.  God knows what we need to get us moving, both figuratively and literally!  And to keep us going, He just throws in a miracle now and then!  He understands us so well.  I'm amazed at His goodness. 

Tuesday 23 June 2015

Joyful Wedding Reflections

I've had bad nights and I've had bad nights, but last night has to go down as one of the WORST!!!!!  It was the storm of the century and it woke up at least one of the kids who then snuggled into bed with us.  She turned 7 yesterday, so no small child!  That immediately throws off my sleep as I'm then on the edge of the bed for the rest of the night.  The storm made doors slam all over (as all the windows were open through the house - makes for a nice breeze, but lots of noise!)  The trees sounded like they were going to come down!  I felt like I was awake all night, only to be awoken by one lonely fly landing on me every few seconds!  Argh!!!!!  This is when I finally wake up, longing for a coffee and that short nap in just a few hours!!!!!

So yes, there's always a birthday going on in this house and June has to be one of the busiest!  Still trying to remain money conscious, we kept things really simple and did a cousin birthday party at the beach and then a quick trip to IKEA for a family birthday dinner which was loads cheaper than a "real" dinner out.  Knowing another birthday is only 3 days away, we quickly picked up a couple of packages of the IKEA meatballs and we'll make it at home for the almost 5 year old on his birthday.  It'll feel like IKEA at home for a much lower price.


The birthday yesterday was for my youngest daughter.  I should be crying knowing she is no longer a baby, but I get so distracted with our little 3 year old that I forget about the fact she's growing up, too!  So my baby daughter is now 7.  Her name means "virtuous life-giving maiden".  She was a flower girl on the weekend for Jen and Roger.  The couple that she helped pray for.  She prayed Roger's name for Jen each night for a long time.   Maybe that was one of the fulfillments of her name, helping to bring life to a young woman that longed for a godly husband.  She told me at the end of the day how happy she was to see Jen so happy.  To be at the wedding and observe the miracle and have her be in it was such a blessing.

Jen and Roger did such such a sweet thing.  They used a drawing my daughter had drawn when she had first met Jen for the front of their program.  It was a sweet drawing of two stick people, clearly one was a bride in a wedding dress holding a bouquet and kicking up her foot.  The other was a groom with a bow tie.  They had a thought bubble above their heads of a heart.  So cute!  Jen had my daughter sign her name last August and it was included on the drawing.  For months Jen had that taped to her wall as a sign of encouragement from God that He would bring her a husband, one day.  I asked her what made her draw that months ago and she said, "I just had to before it was too late!"  I'm not sure exactly what she meant, but I think in her mind she needed to encourage Jen so that she knew there was hope!

Then that day came.  It was a wedding like no wedding I've ever been to.   First of all they were super late for pictures, but they finally showed up and the wedding started nearly on time!  It started off almost right from the beginning with cheering!  Everyone was just so happy for them!  Roger had waited for 51 years to marry this woman and you could tell he was excited!  He kept pumping his fist in the air and saying "Amen!". Then he would look around and say, "I need to hear a few more 'Amens!' !!!  It was so funny!  Then the pastor, who was a good friend of his, just stood there and smiled and everyone laughed again as we all knew they had a history and were so amazed they were finally standing there before him getting married.  It brings tears to my eyes just recalling it all.  Then, the singing....There was so much singing!  It was a combination of hymns and choruses, but all of it was beautiful.

After that, another friend came up and gave the gospel message because Jen and Roger wanted to make sure no one in the room left without hearing it.  He even gave people an opportunity to pray to accept Christ if they wanted to that day.  It was great.  Then the regular part of the ceremony, the exchanging of vows.  Vows they had written themselves.  I don't know how they got through them without crying... I cried!  They were so beautifully written.  Then the rings..... getting closer to being married!  Roger just kept looking back at all of us with this HUGE grin on his face!  Then the pregnant pause before the kiss, the pastor was giving them a hard time!  Finally, he said, "You are man and wife...". More cheering!  Then the kiss...... more cheering!!!!  It was so hilarious!

That is typically the end of the service, but no, more singing!  Song after song.  Then the worship leader said, "We now have a special guest who will join us for the remaining two songs.....". Up goes Roger, takes off his suit jacket and sits at the drums and pounds away on them for the last two songs.  More cheering!  The funniest part was just before the last song ended, he stood up and said, "Uh, if you don't mind (pointing to the ladies in the front row), could you move here and you move here so that Jen can move here so that I can see her?"!!!!!  He had everyone get up in the front row so that Jen could be in his sightlines from the drums!  The last song was "Happy Day", a perfect way to end it.  But again, not in your typical style.  Just before the final chorus, the worship leader stops playing his guitar and turns to Roger who goes into a drum solo of all drum solos, for Jen (who also happens to play drums!).  She had requested this apparently!  More cheering!  At the end of the song, Roger puts on his suit jacket, makes his way down, his bride joins him and then the pastor announces the new happy couple.... more cheering!  It was over an hour and a half long ceremony!  But truly one of the most joyful events I've ever been to.  We praise God for bringing them together through His perfect will and plan for their lives.

I always marvel at how God brings people into my life when I'm a mom at home busy with 8 kids.  It's always works out to be just exactly what I can handle and usually benefits all of us and teaches all of us, too.  Meeting with Jen on and off over the last year has been wonderful for all my girls, to witness God's miracles, especially with respect to a marriage relationship, how God has a story for each one of us.  I used to think I needed to be out and about doing "big" things for God.  I do love being "out"!  One of my favourite places is actually at the front of a room speaking about anything from chores to whatever - I love speaking!  One of my other favourite things to do is to meet with other people and be involved in their lives, especially younger moms, in Bible Studies, etc. But, I don't get those opportunities very often, so when they come, like meeting with Jen, I eat it up.  Of course, I know that I am doing "big" things for God by raising these younger disciples of mine.  And almost as if God knew I needed the encouragement yesterday as Jen now has Roger and doesn't need me like she used to, I read in the devotional how an island is made of coral, all these little polyps working under the sea day after day, to create an island that sustains life, animals, vegetation, cities....... work going on behind the scenes with no recognition.  It was a reminder that sometimes when I'm feeling I should be out in the front doing more important things that I am in fact right where God wants me.... "building the foundation of a new island, which will someday support plants and animals and will be a home where the children of God will be born and equipped for eternal glory as 'co-heirs with Christ'".    The devotional went on to say, "if your place in God's army is hidden and secluded, do not grumble or complain.... God calls some people to be spiritual polyps.  He is looking for those who are willing to serve in places hidden from the sight of others, yet in full view of heaven, and who are sustained by the Holy Spirit."  That's where I find myself right now, working to build an island "under the sea", cell by cell, day by day, where it may feel like it is unimportant work, but I'm building an island, sometimes by just being with my own children, sometimes by bringing other people, like Jen, into my life.  Perhaps in the future God will bring another opportunity into my life.  He always does and it is always the exact right person or situation at the exact right time.

Back to the wedding for a second and how we did things on the cheap.....I wanted to buy my daughter a new dress and a fancy bouquet, but my sister's daughter had been in a wedding just the year before so we were able to borrow her dress which was the exact size we needed!  Yeah!  For the bouquet, my daughter suggested we go to the grocery store and pick a bouquet of flowers from there!  Great idea!  So that's exactly what I did on the day of the wedding, I went to the store and found a beautiful bouquet for $8.  I came home, cut off the long stems, wrapped some tulle around the base and voilĂ !  A bouquet!  Pretty cheap!  I splurged and got her hair done, but that was something I didn't want to mess with.  She looked super cute.

This week we are sewing our little fingers off getting ready for a craft show.  Should be interesting as I'm not convinced we'll sell anything, but it'll be a good experience to see if there is a market for any of the things we've been working on.

Summer is finally here and I am loving the warmer weather.  I pray daily for the things we long to accomplish as I've said many times before.  Summer is so short and we have so much to do!  Every minute has to count.  But I must trust God for our summer.  He'll determine what actually gets done and I can't be upset if we don't get all 300 things done on the list!


Wednesday 17 June 2015

The Engagement to Wedding to 12 Passenger Van

I forgot to add this comment of all comments..... The day of RM's birthday, I reminded the 4 year old to say "Happy Birthday!"...

"It's his birthday today?"

"Yes!"

"How old is he?"

"54."

"Wow!  He's almost dead!"

We've been saying that all week now, of course.  "We should really do this or that 'cause you're almost dead anyway......".   Hilarious.  54, nearly dead.  Sorry Grammy and Gramps, I couldn't bear to tell him how old you were!

Ok, the final chapter in my "Relationship Birth Story".  This has been good for me to write, not because it has much to do with debt-reduction, but for the original reason I started to write in the first place, for my girls, my boys, for them to have a written record while I still have the recall!

I tease RM all the time because his proposal was just so matter-of-fact.  I really didn't know him super well at that point.  I know now that it fits his personality perfectly.  He took me to a French restaurant in Toronto and probably spent a pretty penny doing so.  I had a sense this was the night as rumour had it he had already met my dad and asked for my hand in marriage.  By this point, I'm pretty sure Dad was quite convinced this was the guy!

We had a lovely meal and then I noticed he bent down to pick something up as he gently banged my leg in the process!  This is it, I thought!  He said a few words and then instead of asking, he told me, "I want you to be my wife."  Again, totally fits his personality, he was stating his purpose and pretty much expected me to go along with it!  No time to discuss, just need you to agree.  I think I did babble a few things because it wasn't really a question!  How do you say yes to a statement?  But somehow it was clear that I agreed with the statement as suddenly there was a ring on my finger, a very beautiful ring.  I was a little taken aback at first as he had asked what I wanted in a ring if we were ever to get engaged and I had told him exactly what I wanted, but he didn't get it!  He had gone and done all sorts of research on diamonds.  He went to a jeweller in Toronto to get a ring made and had described what I had said.  She had talked him out of it saying it was not as nice a ring, the one I had described, a little bit cheaper, more anniversary band-ish, not engagement.  She said he must go with a solitaire, it was way more expensive but meant more, in her mind.  He decided to go with what she suggested.  I think in the end I'm glad he listened to her.  We ended up going to an antique store for my wedding band and had his band made to match.

So I did go back to Colombia engaged.  I could hardly believe it!  None of the staff at the school could believe it either as I had only known RM for such a short time!  They ended up getting very excited about it and threw a shower for me Colombian style - so fun.  I was basically teaching the wealthy of the wealthy in an American school and so any event they had made the papers.  The bridal shower ended up being in their "Sociales" section of the local paper, so I had my 5 minutes of Colombian fame.  They gave me a set of dishes made in Colombia and things like that, very special.

We had booked the hall before I left and knew we were getting married Sept. 1, 1995.  Now we had everything left to organize long distance.  I had already gotten in the habit of having clothes made in Colombia by what they called a "modista".  That was something everyone did down there as there weren't malls to shop in.  I already had a modista that I liked to use and I approached her with only a picture of the wedding dress I wanted her to make and she said she could make it!  I could hardly believe it.  She also said she could make my mom's dress and all the bridesmaid's dresses with just their measurements.  So I had all the women send me their measurements (now email was up and running for pretty much everyone which made a big difference) and that little lady sewed her fingers off.  Each dress turned out beautifully including mine and everyone was very pleased.  I still can hardly believe I travelled back with all of them and that they fit as not one of the women had had a single fitting.

RM was working on the invitation ideas and we settled on a print of a famous wedding painting for the outside of the invitation.  He did a lot of running around on my behalf as I wouldn't be in town until June and we were getting married less than 3 months later.

Once I was back in town we were able to work together on most things.  He was one of those highly involved husbands-to-be.  He had a great sense of what needed to be done. 

The day was beautiful and really had no hitches whatsoever.  We had pictures taken on the boat, of course, and those were my favourite.  It didn't take long before the boat was gone and the sports car, to be replaced by mini-van after mini-van and then ultimately a 12 passenger van!  But it was fun for the first year.  And guess what, now the sports cars are back!  Broken and waiting to be sold, but we've come full circle with them!

I took a job as a teacher in a private school which of course started the first day after Labour Day.  That meant no time for a honeymoon of any extended time.  We compromised and went to Quebec City (by plane) which made us feel like we went to Europe for just a few days.  Then I taught for the week.  The following weekend we went to Stratford for two nights, another favourite place of our's.  So we broke our honeymoon up into two parts which kind of made it feel like we had an extra one!  This September when we go away to North Carolina, it'll be the more extended honeymoon we never had and we are looking forward to it!  Every single anniversary after that, and I don't think we've missed even one, we've gone away for a night to celebrate and that's been one of the best things we've ever done in our marriage.  I look forward to it every single year.

Now, we are at the 20 year mark - everything in those verses has become real for me.  I did marry a tree!  He has always been strong with deep roots.  He was 33 when we got engaged (I like the fact he was the same age as Jesus!).  He's 8 1/2 years older than me and that brought a maturity to him that I've always appreciated.   Life is swarming around us, not just in children and animals, but actual vegetation!  I never would have pictured us out here on a farm.  We started off in a condo for our first year in downtown Mississauga.  His mom always says to me, "What happened to you?"  But I'm happier out here than in the condo for sure.

Writing our story makes me realize our children will have a story, too, and knowing how my parents prayed for me and how that impacted our story makes me pray even more knowing I can have an impact on my children's future marriages.

Is there any tie-in to debt-reduction in this story?  Not exactly.  We look back on those early days and see we had a sense of budget to some degree even when we were dating and planning our wedding, but we weren't debt-adverse at all.  That came over time. 

Ok, that concludes the love story section of the blog!  Back to regular programming after this!

Tuesday 16 June 2015

The Courtship - I Need to Marry a Tree!

Before I go on about our relationship "birth story", I have to describe our recent pool purchase.  We never meant to get an inground, that's ridiculous!  But our little "10 minute" above ground, 12 Ft. pool became just that. 

The box said it'll take 10 minutes to set up.  Make that 2 hours and 10 minutes.  The box also never mentioned you would need a skid steer to level your lawn.  Oh my goodness. Well, suffice it to say, we now have water to cool our little ones down and it's basically "inground"!  The big kids will have to be content with dipping their legs up to their knees, but it'll still cool them off a bit.

That was my husband's birthday present, a kiddie pool that he had to set up.  He didn't mind though.  It will provide hours of entertainment!

So, I left off with basically how I had terrible expectations in my head about what kind of guy I thought I should be with.  I didn't really know I had them until I met RM and he wasn't exactly who I thought I should be with.  Yes, the first date swept me off my feet, but once we were clearly in a relationship I started to panic thinking to myself, "He's not who I pictured I would be with!"

This is where Dad stepped in.  Thank goodness.  I was open and honest with my parents, explaining my doubts.  I was also still praying and in the Word a lot.  I think that helped to make me receptive to their insight.  Dad wrote me a letter.  In it he basically called me out on my pride and shallowness in terms of what I thought I needed in a guy instead of looking at RM and all his amazing qualities that made him a potentially wonderful husband. Though it wasn't called a courtship at the time (I didn't even know what that meant back then), this is where I believe God allowed us to be in a courting-type relationship as it was clearly being blessed by my parents and being led by their insight, which I think is one of the differences between dating and courtship.  Prior to meeting RM, they had shown me a lot of "thumbs down" on other guys, so to have such enthusiasm towards RM made a big difference.

Isn't it interesting though how Satan loves to confuse us?  He knew he needed to somehow stop what was going to be a potential Christian marriage.  Enter J.  Where did he come from?  He was someone I had been interested in years earlier.  Suddenly, when he found out I was dating RM, he decided after years of not showing interest that, yup, he was interested and made his move.  Talk about messing me up.  Once again though, I thank God for godly friends who were able to see things more clearly than myself as I was no longer able to be objective and called this other guy out on what he was doing.

RM was unbelievably patient during this whole time.  I was very honest with him about this other guy and, in fact, it was because of his patience and maturity in how he handled this situation that drew me to him even more.  He was unshakable.  Every time I told him how I was struggling and what this guy was doing, he never panicked or showed any insecurity at all.  He walked me through it and was able to be very objective as well.  Eventually I saw that this other guy was just a distraction from who I should really be with.  He claimed he was a Christian, but he also basically came right out and said that he needed me to help him be stronger.  Uh, no.  I needed to marry someone who was going to be a leader in our relationship, especially our spiritual relationship.  It would not have been a good match at all.  Though, ironically he was an engineer, too, who also loved cars.  What is it about engineers and cars?

Once we got through our first major struggle, I was able to see how strong RM was and his feelings for me.  Every time I threw something at him, he would calmly respond, "It doesn't worry me at all." He could handle a very up and down emotional, confused girl like me!  That is a rare quality!!!!  They say you often marry someone just like your Dad and it was true.  Dad often had to handle us girls in our emotional puddles of tears.  Suddenly my eyes were opened to RM in a whole new way and he could sense it. 

Just before I left for Colombia again, I remember driving down the road on one of our last nights together and he looked at me and said, "You know, I'm in this for the long term."  He didn't say the word marriage, but I knew that was what he meant.  That was only 6 weeks after our first date.  He gave me his engineering ring to wear and it just so happened to fit my fourth finger on my left hand.....hmmmmm.

Then, I left for Colombia in August and our letter writing relationship began.  Email was just beginning, so we hand-wrote most letters which was so wonderful.  He came down for a week in October to visit me.  That was the first time he used the "M" word - marriage.  Inside I was freaking out because suddenly it all seemed so fast!  He left to go back to Canada pretty sure that it might not work out after all as I seemed so unsure again all of a sudden!  The poor guy!  I'm sure it was Satan again trying to make me feel this way.  I was entirely relying on feelings at this point and wanting to feel something magical instead of actually making a decision that used, dare I say, logic and Biblical reasoning. 

After he left, I sat on my bed and thought long and hard.  How was I supposed to know if he was the right one for me?  Three miraculous epiphanies came to me that I can only think happened because I was crying out for help to the Lord.  I'm also very sure my parents were praying, too.  The first one was the night he left.  I had been listening to sermons from my pastor back at home.  He was doing a series on Jeremiah (not your typical book on relationships) and my parents sent me the sermons while I was gone.  That night I listened to the passage on Jeremiah 17.  It read,

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.  He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come.  He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.  Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.  He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.  THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS, AND DESPERATELY SICK; WHO CAN UNDERSTAND IT?  I THE LORD SEARCH THE HEART AND TEST THE MIND TO GIVE EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS WAYS, ACCORDING TO THE FRUIT OF HIS DEEDS."

The italicized part of the verse was what struck me.  I had been trusting in my heart which is DECEITFUL!  Then, I read the part about trusting in the Lord.  It compared trusting in the Lord to a tree planted by water.  Try and follow this....I knew marriage was the picture of Christ and the church.  The husband is like God, the bridegroom, and the wife is like the church.  I saw trusting in God, the bridegroom, like trusting in a future husband, my potential bridegroom.  I knew at that point I wasn't trusting in God, or RM.  Suddenly I saw RM like that tree, too.  He had been described by friends who had meant him as the strong silent type and as "still waters run deep".  Just as God was worthy to be trusted, I started to see RM could be trusted.  That was it!  I needed to marry a tree!  I needed to marry a tree that had deep roots by a stream.  I began to see he had those deep roots.  He had already shown me he had no fear of heat when that other guy showed up.  He had leaves that had remained "green" and he had already shown me he was not anxious in the "year of drought" when I was so confused.  He never ceased bearing fruit the whole time.  That was it!  God had shown me through His Word that I was to marry a tree - RM!  

Then, right away, another series of interesting thoughts came to me.... miraculous epiphany #2.  This was crazy, but suddenly a list of girlfriends/roommates that I had lived with over the last 5 years came to my mind. I had often joked with each one of them, "I wish I could marry you!"  Each one of those girls had been the perfect compliment to my personality.  Each one had been much quieter than me, more organized, more logical, more studious!  The exact opposite to me, in fact!  I was louder, more outgoing, more spontaneous (fun, fun, fun!), more fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants..... you get the idea.  Suddenly it occurred to me, each roommate had been a female version of RM!  Each roommate had been my best friend at the time of living with them!  I had joked about marrying them, but unfortunately they'd been girls!  Here I was considering the MALE version of them!  And I was struggling?!  Why?  If I could be best friends with each one of them and they were my exact compliment, than it was a no-brainer when I considered RM - he would be my best friend, too, and better yet, my husband.  I couldn't believe the epiphany I was having!  I was so excited!  I knew I was going to marry him!

I called him up immediately and told him how sorry I was that I been so confused again!  I explained how God had shown me through His Word and through all those crazy thoughts that he was perfect for me!  He was so relieved as he had been quite certain that I was the one for him (turns out he had had the ring for a long time already and was basically just waiting for me to come around!).  Sadly we were now separated for another two months, but I would be home by mid-December and I hoped to come back engaged!

The third miraculous affirmation came when I was at church.  I had been attending a Spanish-speaking church and was getting quite good at understanding the pastor.  I had my Spanish-English Bible just in case, but for the most part I grasped what each message was about.  If I hadn't already received all sorts of confirmation, this passage would have convinced me.  He spoke on Ezekiel 47, again, not your typical relationship book in the Bible.  Ezekiel was being led by the Lord all through the book of Ezekiel.  Over and over each chapter begins with "Then he led me" or "Then he brought me"..... isn't that just like the Lord?  Constantly leading and bringing us to new places?   In Ezekiel 47, Ezekiel was brought to some water.  First, he takes him in just ankle-deep.  Seems ok.  Then,  knee-deep.  Then, waist-deep.  But then he gets to a river that he "could not pass through for the water had risen.  It was deep enough to swim in, a river that could not be passed through."  Wow.  That was just what I was feeling!   I was being taken on a walk by God with this new man in my life and at first everything was just fine..... sailboats and wine.  Perfect.  Ankle deep.  I could handle that!  Then, knee-deep.... new conflicts and trials to work through like surprise suitors.  Then waist-deep... my pathetic expectations being challenged.  Then over-my-head-deep..... potentially marrying him?  It was a river I couldn't imagine jumping into.

But God takes Ezekiel to the bank of the river and suddenly he saw "many trees on one side and on the other."  He showed him where the water will go and how the water will become fresh.  "And wherever the river goes, every living creature that swarms will live and there will be many fish... so everything will live where the river goes.... there will grow all kinds of trees for food.  Their leaves will not wither, nor their fruit fail, but they will bear fresh fruit... Their fruit will be for food and their leaves for healing."

Again, the leaf imagery!  This river that seemed so deep and unswimmable was actually full of life, not salty, but freshwater.  If I was willing to go over my head and jump in, I would experience a life down the river that was swarming with living creatures many fish (isn't that what has happened????  I am swarmed by 8 children and animals every day!).   I feel like God was showing me again through His Word to not be afraid of the future, but that He was showing me a window into the future that revealed fruit, if I was willing to take the plunge, the faith-filled plunge of not knowing all that would be ahead for us.  It was so affirming that when we did end up getting engaged and were planning our wedding I asked my cousin who sings to write a song based on Ezekiel 47.  He called it "The River of God" and how we need to jump into the river!  I'm sure it wasn't an easy song to write as it is a bit of an obscure passage, but he did a great job and sang it at the wedding!

One other funny image RM gave me when I shared my reservations about marriage with him was about chickens.  Who would have that twenty years later we'd be surrounded by chickens?  Back when he was a kid, they raised chickens in their backyard.  When they first were teaching them to drink water, they would dunk their head in, under the water, forcing them to swallow.  "That's what love is like," he said.  "You've got to get dunked."  It went along with the whole Ezekiel passage as far as I was concerned!  Chickens, trees, rivers..... not your typical love story so far.

I knew I could never have all the answers as to what my future held, but I knew I had enough information to be 100% positive RM was the man I was supposed to marry.  Satan pulled out one more stop, however, just before I came home that Christmas.  He was determined to play on my doubts.  When I came home mid-December, again, one of my girlfriends made a simple comment that, unknowingly placed all sorts of doubts in my head ahead about getting engaged.  She said it was too soon to get engaged when we had really only been in each other's presence 7 weeks!  Oh no!  She's right, I thought.  We should wait at least until the summer like regular people and get to know one another better.  So I told RM, "Don't propose when I come home!"  That poor guy.  I was so weak!  After all that confirmation, just to be tossed by the wind by one small comment by a friend.

But, within days of being in each other's presence, we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, we were supposed to be together.  He proposed on January 6, leaving us two weeks to plan a wedding before I went back to Colombia.  What a whirlwind!  I'll finish that part tomorrow..... planning a wedding from another continent was an interesting way to do things......!

Monday 15 June 2015

A Different Kind of Birth Story

Today is my husband's birthday.  I don't know his birth story, so I can't comment on that, but we got together with friend's on the weekend and talked about how we all met and it brought it all back for me.....I will tell our relationship's birth story instead!

I had noticed him and his brother always coming to church and skipping out as soon as the service was over.  I was a young single girl and there was no college and career group at the church, so I decided I had better start one!  Here were two potential guys (I assumed single as I saw no girls with them) and they would make a lovely addition to the group!  But why were they always taking off!?  I had to find out, so I approached them one Sunday and said to them, "You know, you are never going to meet anyone if you keep taking off each Sunday!"  I'm sure they were impressed with me.  Ha.  The younger brother was very charming and extremely fashionable, but turns out, engaged.  Oh well.  The older taller brother was quiet and did not looked impressed with me at all.  But the ice was broken and from then on, we did get them connected into the group, including the new wife who arrived shortly on the scene.

Meanwhile, I was traveling, going to school, working overseas.  It just never seemed I was around long enough to develop any long term relationship with anyone and no one was jumping out at me anyway.  RM, i.e., husband-to-be, was now connected into a good group of guys at the church and even started living with 4 of them in a house owned by other friends in the church.  I didn't think much of him at the time.  He was not what I was looking for at all.  In my shallow pathetic mind, I think I was looking for someone just like me, outgoing, friendly, someone who could work a crowd.  That was not RM at all.  So I didn't even consider him for a second.

Then, and he hates this part of the story, but it did help pique my interest in him, I heard he was in a relationship with someone, but had quickly broken it off and this girl was devastated.  I was overseas at the time and heard this news all the way across the country.  Devastated.  Hmmm...... he must be quite something if she was devastated!  Awful, I know.  I started to wonder about him just slightly.

Then, I came home that Christmas, but again, was only home for a very short time and he came right up to me, very chatty and he is not a chatty guy.  He seemed disappointed that I wouldn't be around.  I went back to Colombia that January, but still didn't think much more about him.

Meanwhile back in Colombia, I had friends that were quite determined to see that I get in a relationship.  They always asked me what kind of guy I wanted.  I would describe someone that was funny and charming, again, I think I was describing someone that was just a male version of me.  I was so clueless.  I was praying for a husband all the time now and I know my parents were, too.  I'm so glad because if they hadn't been praying and I had married a male version of me, we would have been split up by now.  I had so many people ready to set me up with guys they knew that summer, I figured I would be dating a different guy each week!  (I didn't know anything about courtship at the time!)

Back in Canada, RM was making a plan.  He knew when I was going to arrive back in Canada and was going to ask me out.  His roommates supposedly told him, "You'll be a hero if it works out."  They said this because they had asked me out for dinners on other occasions, but they were NOTHING like I was looking for!  Sorry, but it's true!  They were nice guys, but none of them struck me at all as strong men.  They figured I wouldn't be interested in him either.  But he wasn't like them... at all.

The first Sunday back, I went to church and saw him, but didn't talk to him.  Actually, I saw his car.  It was a Porsche.  Now, I'm not that shallow to think, "Ooooh!  A sports car!  I must date him!"  No, it was more like, "Hmmm... a Porsche, what kind of guy is he that has enough confidence to drive one of those.....?"  It made me start to wonder who he was.

That week, I was praying for a husband (seriously, I remember doing that!) and reading my Bible.  I came across the verse in Isaiah, that says, "The Lord longs to be gracious to you."  I felt like God was speaking to me, encouraging me to just trust Him.  I underlined the verse in my Bible in green pen and wrote the date.  Then, I got the call just 3 days later that would change my life.

"Would you like to go sailing with me on Friday night?"

"Sure!"

I was so sure he was making it up.  Where would he get a sailboat?  Perhaps he would rent one.  But sure enough, he picked me up that night, in the Porsche, and took me to a sailboat.... his sailboat.  It couldn't have been a more beautiful night, warm and humid.  He had seriously thought of everything.  He even brought another couple along to sail the boat so that he and I could just talk all night.  He had packed a bottle of wine, containers of cheese and crackers.... everything.  I was completely swept off my feet.  We sailed what seemed like to the middle of Lake Ontario where we watched fireworks.  Fireworks were going off in my heart, too!  I told them on Saturday night if he had proposed that night I probably would have said yes!

I came back and told my mom, "If I never have another date, I have to say that was the best first date of my life!"

Within days, he called again and then again.... we were together for the rest of the summer.  I had to leave in August to go back and teach for another school year, but the long distance was a good thing as it forced us to communicate through letters and helped us to get to know one another on a whole other level.

I nearly missed out on him though because I was still quite confused by the expectations I had unknowingly in my head about the type of guy I wanted.  That will be a story for tomorrow......

Thursday 11 June 2015

More Shoe Miracles

God cares about feet, especially my husband's feet!  When I first started blogging I was tracking all the miracles God was doing in our lives, big and small.  One of those miracles was a pair of boots.  Over a year or more ago, my husband was basically given these boots worth over $300 that he had been needing for his work that have literally saved his feet. 

When he was a young man he critically injured his big toe on a construction site.  Eventually it recovered, but according to the research he has done, that old injury is now coming back to bite him.  He has terrible pain in that joint now making him consider even a toe joint replacement.  Before considering surgery, he decided to a do a bit more research himself and came across more expensive footwear, but again, way out of our price range.  They seemed to be exactly what he needed though, so what to do.  We decided it was cheaper than surgery and way easier than surgery, so we were about to take the plunge.

Then, on another quick look, he found out the company had gone out of business, so all their shoes were being sold on eBay for a fraction of the price!  RM quickly purchased a pair of shoes and a pair of hiking boots.  The shoes arrived a few weeks ago and the boots a couple of days ago.  He feels like a different man!

These shoes are so unique - they have a kind of sole that is like a rocker, taking the pressure off the ball of his foot and off his heel where he experiences all the pain.  He is able to walk around without the limp he used to have.  I'm so grateful!  It isn't perfect, but we feel like the pain has been reduced tremendously and that he can now cope better with what is ahead for him this summer like haying and potentially more manufacturing (which both require being on your feet all day).

Ok, I admit it, this is entirely out of context, but it talks about feet, so it kind of works...

"How beautiful on the mountain are the feet of those who bring good news..." Isaiah 52:7.  I am touched by the fact that God cares about the lowest most mundane part of our bodies, our feet.  I'm grateful that He has provided a solution that can help us avoid surgery for at least a little while.  We may still end up needing it, but this puts it off for a bit.  It really is an answer to prayer for us.  It's an encouragement that no prayer request is too small.

Wednesday 10 June 2015

My New Favourite Place....

Talk about testing a kid's discontentment level..... we had planned to go to my sister's yesterday for a swim.  The weather was definitely dreary, but warm, so we figured we would pack our suits anyway and hope for the best.  I had the kids all loaded up in the van and had asked my husband to look at one of the tires as it seemed a little low.  He was super busy, but said he would try to fill it up for me.  When he went to the tire, lo and behold, he could actually see where the leak was.  Now there was no way we would be going anywhere.  How would they handle this???  How would I handle this????  All I could say was, "Ok, guys, I'm very sorry, but you need to get in the house.  The tire has a leak and we won't make it if we drive on the highway, too dangerous."  The disappointment was awful, but they all came in and took it ok.  We ended up doing a massive grocery shop instead with the other vehicle with the younger ones.  On the drive to the store, it was yet again, a chance to talk about how God can change things in a split second and will we "go with the flow" or will we fight Him and respond badly.

I said that once to one of our children when my daughter was just learning to talk.  "Just go with the flow!"  She jumped in, "I want to go with the flow, too!  Where is it?"  She was sure going with the flow had to be a great place as I always told the other kids to go there.  But it is a great place!  The "flow" is where God does awesome things for those who choose to go there.  This is the place where He takes what appears to be a disappointment and can actually turn it all around and make it a place of blessing.  The rest of the day is a case in point....

Once I was done the grocery shop, I headed out the door with 4 kids and 2 carts.  One lady in the store saw how much I had and asked if I was prepared for the bill ahead of me.  I told her I was willing to take donations!  By this point it was pouring so the entire load of groceries was getting soaked as it was in the back of the truck.  At least it wasn't a cold rain, it was warm outside still, so I actually didn't mind.  We managed to get everything home and dumped it all on the kitchen floor.  Because everything was so wet, my floor ended up getting very clean!  My fridge was quite empty and it revealed how badly it needed a clean, so on a very bizarre whim, I cleaned it top to bottom, even under drawers, inside drawers, shelves, walls, everything.  It was a huge task!  It took a very long time, but everyone noticed how great it looked and it felt good to do. 

When plans change like that unexpectedly it feels good to redeem the time.  I certainly never would have planned on cleaning a fridge or doing a massive shop like that.  I was just looking forward to hanging out with my sister, drinking a coffee and watching the kids swim, but I love how God can change our plans and it can still be a great day.  Perhaps cleaning a fridge doesn't seem like a blessing, but trust me, it is!  Having a clean floor may also not seem like a particular blessing, but you have to know, it is a real effort to keep things clean over here, so being forced to do it is great!

More blessings occurred as the day went on.  The weather cleared up beautifully in the afternoon.  Somehow my children found out that in our little vineyard there are wild strawberries, so I suggested we go berrypicking!  Now that the kids are a little older, I'll let them go down on their bikes along the side of the road.  I followed pushing the toddler in a stroller.  It was so fun finding these wild strawberries!  They were everywhere!  It was the perfect snack and another amazing blessing from the Lord as I could never have planned that.  I took the time to pick up some of the pruned vines and am slowly bringing them back to the house where I'm attempting to do crafty things with them even though I'm not crafty in the slightest.  It is a another neat side benefit to all that pruning the kids did in the early spring.  I love that God can take all those clippings that seem like garbage or something to throw in the firepit and have them turned into something beautiful.  Who would have foreseen that?

Back to the house for dinner.  When I went to the grocery store, it seemed as if God had planned my grocery shop as so many things were 40% off.  This might not sound yummy, but it has to be one of my children's favourite meals, "Pork Hock Stew" and the pork hocks were on a major sale.  The only reason I make it is because I had to learn to use all the parts of the pigs we had slaughtered!  I had so many "hocks" and had no idea what to make with them, so I found out they make an amazing stew.  It is one of the cheaper cuts of meat, so now when I grocery shop that is a cut of meat I actually look for.  My son loves breadsticks and made some to go along with the stew, so it was an awesome meal!

Another blessing was my husband came home to find out his course will be published soon making him an official "author", so that was good news and it means payment will follow shortly.  All in all, an awesome day.  It could have been miserable.  The kids could have revolted on me and picketed outside the house until their Dad fixed the tire, but they responded really well and I'm convinced that God blessed them for "going with the flow".  I felt like God allowed me to accomplish a lot with the rainy day that was given to me and I feel we all were able to make the most of a disappointing situation. 

"The Flow" is my new favourite place.  I never know what will happen if I go there, but it is better than staying is "Disappointment Land".  Blessings usually appear out of nowhere when I go there, too.  Lessons get learned.  My daughter was right to want to go there. 

I

Tuesday 9 June 2015

A Little Late Night Calamari to Soothe the Soul

Here's a good reason to not watch any media.... Yesterday evening we were outside when suddenly we heard a huge clunk against metal followed by the classic wail.  I ran to see who was hurt.  I was sure someone had fallen off their bike, but no, the 4 year old was still on his bike, but his head was slammed into the van as if it were stuck! "What happened!??" I yelled.  I could hardly believe my eyes... how could he miss seeing the huge 12 passenger van?  But then my 8 year old son explained, "He was trying to be a bad guy escaping and he thought he would try to crash into the van."  Like, I said, a good reason to not watch movies!  Turns out it was way worse sounding, just like a crash on TV, but there were no life-threatening injuries.  If it hadn't been so near serious, it was, as usual, very funny.  He was back riding within minutes. 

Yesterday seemed to be a challenge in contentment for all of us.  Right after I had written about the secret of contentment!  I guess I need to get them to read what I write.  It's interesting to see how it shows up in the little ones right up to the Daddies.  With the kids, they are extremely put-out if we get low on groceries and I don't run out right away to get them what they want.  It aggravates me so much!  I always tell them, "We have food."  "No we don't."  So then I get them to elaborate on exactly what they think is food and it always comes down to "extras" as opposed to life-sustaining food.  So for example, we ran out of oranges within two days of buying them.  You'd think they were without water.  "We have apples, " I'll tell them.  Not good enough.  I cannot believe how many times I was told to go to the grocery store yesterday.  I wouldn't go!  I know when I want to go.  It is no small task when I go, especially if it is a big shop.  I can easily leave with 2 carts, so I really have to wrap my head around it.  I have become quite famous in my home for making things stretch.  Meal after meal, my kids will wonder where the food came from.  I credit my mom for that, making something out of nothing.  I always marvelled how she made a meal when I would look in the fridge and see nothing.

Last night it was maple beans, skillet cornbread and salad.  Everyone quite enjoyed it, but to look in the fridge, you would have seen next to nothing, at least by my kids' standards.  This morning, there is basically no fruit left, except a couple of apples, a little bit of frozen fruit, next to no eggs, no bread, but I had a plan!  I had to quickly warm up the oven, then I quickly mixed up some oatmeal, eggs, milk, frozen fruit and a few other ingredients and in 45 minutes, they'll wake up to the smell of baked oatmeal!  Again, if I had left it up to them coming down and looking in cupboards, they would have seen nothing!  I had to cut them off at the pass.  It basically smells like pie - thanks to my friend (expecting her 10th) for the good recipe idea for large families!

But, to me, it was all about their little discontent hearts.   They seriously need to learn a little about lacking food to understand how full our cupboards are. 

Even my husband struggles.  We love the fact he is a one-man show, but there is a negative side to it...if you focus on that.  So discontentment can creep in there, too.  Everything is on him, the farm work, the business, getting more business, the books, raising a family, paying the bills.... it can be very overwhelming at times.  I prayed for him all day yesterday as I saw he was struggling.  It doesn't help that he's literally carrying 100s of pounds of steel all day, it can wear you down, not just emotionally but physically.  I listened to him and then went inside and prayed, knowing he was being taught a lesson in contentment, too.

My older son came home from being at the vet clinic all afternoon.  I could tell he had an agenda for the evening and it didn't concern anyone but him.  He wanted to shoot some arrows (he just got some with some birthday money), read some books, just relax.  But the cows were mooing, the dog was barking, and wait, what's that... at least 3 cows were loose!  Someone had turned off the fence and a young one and two older ones were loose.  It wasn't easy getting them back in as they were out in the long grass and were having a great time!  After what seemed like a very long time and all sorts of hands on deck, we managed to get them back in.  My son went to relax, but the cows were still mooing.... hungry.  Now, he had to put his arrows down and pick up some heavy bales of hay and feed those cows.  The dog wouldn't stop barking.  He needed a walk.  The tasks seemed endless!  I could tell by the look on his face, he was not happy.  How quick he was to forget this was the life we wanted for him, the life he wanted for himself!  The hard work, the life with animals, the outdoors, but he quickly just saw it as taking away his "me" time, i.e., discontentment.  It took some time for him to come around and be ok with how his evening had taken a turn and eventually the relaxation did come, it always does!  Why do we have to struggle so much and instead just accept how things play out? 

I could go through every test we had yesterday, but this post would go on and on, like how my other son couldn't believe I made him do dishes instead of playing or how my daughter was shocked I had her do school..... discontentment hits all ages in just different forms.  Even my toddler was discontent yesterday, well, everyday really.  If he doesn't get what he wants, he growls, literally, something that must be stopped! 

I found another verse they'll be copying out today, "Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world...". Phil. 2:14

Great verse.  Perhaps not a verse directly about discontentment, instead more about our attitudes when things don't seem to be going our way.

After a very long day, I was sure my husband would want to crash.  It had been a hard day for him. I was already in pyjamas and ready to hit the hay.  My daughter and I have decided to kick up our physical fitness a notch and had gone for a ridiculous run earlier on in the evening and have committed to working out in the morning, too, in prep for an awful 5k in 6 weeks.  I'll regret this.  So I knew I needed to go to bed early in order to get up early.  At 9:30 my husband stopped work in the shop, came in for a shower, looked at me and said, "Get dressed.  We're going out."  My first thoughts were, "No way!  I'm tired!"  But then I remembered a woman speak at one of the homeschool conferences and she spoke on how she shut her husband down all the time when he wanted to be spontaneous and take the family out for dinner.  She would say no, too expensive, leaving him disappointed as he had tried to bless her.  It was one of her life regrets she said.  I found myself looking at him shaking my head in awe, "Ok!"  My older kids saw me go from jammies to an outfit in 2 minutes and wondered, "What is going on?  Are you taking off on us?  Going out of the country?"  "Yup, see you later!"  It was awesome.  We only went out for an hour.  We found a place that had half-price apps after 9pm and were home by 10:30, so fun.  I still managed to get up early and my husband got a chance to debrief and unwind.

Today will have its challenges, too, no doubt.  Discontentment is going to try to creep in again.  Last night was a great example of how we chose to fight it and have fun in the process!  Yes, it was a hard day, but by taking some time out together, we were able to identify our struggles, talk through them and thank God for His goodness amidst it all.  A little calamari helped, too.



Monday 8 June 2015

Paul and Moses Let Us In On a Secret

The Bible Quizzing is now officially over.  The Provincials were this weekend and my oldest son decided he wanted to be a part of it as it was optional.  Normally during the year the teams are somewhat randomly made so a strong player can be put with a newbie just to give the new ones experience and to develop character in the more experienced players.  Otherwise it can quickly turn into a very competitive situation and become all about winning and not about learning Scripture.  This weekend was a different matter.  Because it was only one more quiz meet and it was purely optional to be in it, the teams were intentionally stacked!  My son ended up being on the team with the strongest kids from one particular area and he was thrilled! 

He had had a tough year where he had won "Top Quizzer" at one of the quiz meets, but he hadn't gotten any recognition for it as they had tallied up the points incorrectly.  We figured this was just another way God was trying to keep him humble and that if was to be recognized at another time we would just leave that up to God.  He was fine with that and finished up the year in 2nd place at the quiz meet before the Provincials. 

This quiz meet was quite different.  Right from the very beginning of the meet, it looked like their team was going to clean up.  But then, on the second day some other very strong teams started to get them some stiff competition.  My son was like the Paul Henderson of quizzing and came in at the last minute in several very important quizzes scoring some last minute "goals" which saved his team from getting eliminated and got them some very important points.  In the end they ended up winning the whole meet and are the top team in the province!  They were so excited!  They were tested on 20 chapters of Acts!  It's amazing to hear all those kids rattle off verse after verse and being given only the first word of the verses as their clue. 

It was a great way to finish off the year and a real blessing after being overlooked at that other meet.  He could have made a big stink about that, but instead he just rolled with the punches.  This win definitely made up for it!

People wonder sometimes how we manage to spend time with each child when we have so many.  Quiz meets like this help a lot!  RM took the older 5 and I had the younger 3.  It is so special to be with the younger ones sometimes as I forget what is was like when the older ones were so little.  Days like that bring it all back and it is so fun.  They did play a lot on their own, but I tried to get involved as much as I could.  We went on a long walk/bike ride - 3 km!  Not bad for little guys!    They played the funniest game of hide and seek while I cheered them on.  It was funny because it was basically out in the open using the same spots over and over, very cute.  Then we baked a pie that my 6 year old pretty much did on her own.  I figured why not?  Of course the toddler wanted to "make a pie, too", so I gave him an empty bowl and another bowl full of flour and he played with that the whole time.  What a mess!  But again, so cute!  The 4 year old's job was to make the pastry shapes by rolling out the pastry - just like playdough, so he loved that.  It was a great day and I feel those days are gifts when it's just me and a couple of the kids.

Yesterday was a great sermon on contentment.  I like to think I am pretty content as I know how awful it is to feel discontent.  It just gets me in a terrible rut of discouragement, but then the pastor did the anatomy of a discontent heart and I realized, no, I still can be very prone to discontentment.  In fact, I did a bit of an experiment and tried to track how often I longed for something better, say, on our farm or how often I wished I had this or that.  It happened almost as soon as we left the church's parking lot!  Many times during the day I realized a thought would enter my head either about the farm or something I wished I had, even wishing the debt were gone.  It was awful!  But I realized that perhaps the thoughts will never stop as I'm sure Satan sends them as an attack on me, but the question is, will I allow myself to take the discontentment to the next step and wallow in it or stop the pattern.  So my next step in the experiment was to do just that.  As soon as a thought would enter, I acknowledged it basically as sin, as the pastor said it was, and that was that.  The next thing I tried to do was to find something I loved or felt blessed by and there were so many things that it was easy to get rid of the feeling of discontentment. 

Paul calls is the "secret to being content" in Philippians.  It is a secret!  You literally have to figure it out otherwise the enemy comes in and turns you into a very unhappy person.  But a secret also seems to imply it is something we should want to know as it could be our ticket to something great!  And it is!  I felt like the sickness of discontentment left me yesterday as I had learned the secret of contentment!  The trick will be practising the secret now....

The secret also goes hand in hand with something I read last week - God is working even when we don't see it.  The devotional I read came from Exodus where the Israelites were fleeing from the Egyptians.  When they got to the Red Sea, it seemed like they were goners, but "all through the night" God sent a strong wind and the next morning they were able to cross through the Red Sea on dry land.  Evidence of God came in the morning even though He'd been working all night.  The idea is that God uses dark times, darkness, when there is seemingly no evidence of Him.  That is when He is working.  Yes, evidence comes "in the morning", but I usually want evidence all along the way!  It was such an encouragement to consider darkness, or no evidence, as almost evidence itself!  To know God is working in the night makes me view the quietness so differently.

At the beginning of this debt journey, I was so sure we would see God bless our attitude toward debt and get us out super fast!  We have made good progress and for sure we've seen evidence of God all along the way, but then there have been times of complete silence from God, times where it doesn't appear that there will ever be an end in sight.  That verse was a game changer, yet again, for me, to realize God is working "all through the night".  Coupled with the sermon on contentment, I can only be left in a good place.


Friday 5 June 2015

I Won't Waste This Opportunity! I Guarantee.....

"A calf is being born!  A calf is being born!" I heard being yelled by kids all over the house.  I started yelling it, too, "A calf is being born!"  I wanted to make sure that no one missed this!  By the time I go outside by the cow in labour, she was lying down, clearly having just had a contraction.  All the kids were already there except for a couple on a walk.  Even Grandpa happened to be there by complete coincidence. 

As soon as the cow got up, I started to feel awful.  Now it was as if I was in labour!  I couldn't watch.  Every painful move she made started to make me feel like I was about to deliver a calf!  She would moo and writhe around.  I had to leave.  So I did.  But then a few minutes later, I thought to myself, "No, I can handle this.  I've got to go witness this amazing opportunity!"  So back out I went, but sadly, she had just given birth.  I had seen her probably at transition, during her worst time in the labour, which explains why I had to leave. 

At first I wasn't sure if what I was seeing was what I was seeing, as there was just a blob of brown on the grass, not moving, but sure enough, it was the calf.  It had literally just been born seconds earlier.  The mommy cow was just starting to lick it clean.  The greatest thing was, though I had missed it, my kids hadn't.  Most of them were there when she gave birth, including the one who wants to be a vet, so another great experience for him.

There is a line from a song in the new Annie movie, "My Opportunity" where she sings about the special opportunity that she was given.  She says something like this, "You're witnessing my opportunity, I won't waste it, I guarantee."  I know it's just a movie, but this song always brings tears to my eyes.  I told my husband the reason I get choked up is because I know we have a unique opportunity by living here on the farm.  I know it is a gift.  Being able to stop what we were doing yesterday and all run out and witness the calf's birth was one of those opportunities.  I know having these 8 children is another unique opportunity.  Having my husband around everyday is also a very special opportunity.  When I hear the words in that song, the many opportunities I have always are brought to my mind and I'm struck by the words, "I won't waste it!"  It makes me thank the Lord for His goodness to us and I know we are not supposed to waste His gifts to us.  We are to use this farm to His glory.  Is it cheesy to be struck that way by a silly film?  Perhaps, but music can do that in a way you don't expect.

I am seriously going to try to start posting pictures as I have so many I could include.  I just need a little training as I'm rather computer illiterate, so stay tuned.....

Wednesday 3 June 2015

Lessons from a Bulletin Board

The school year is winding down and every year our homeschool group does an event at the end of the year to mark the finish called "Showcase".  This is where our kids put together a bulletin board each of what kind of sums up their year.  Some of our kids are too young to put something together, but I expect all of the older kids to do something. 

This year my husband almost let them get off the hook as he wasn't sure if they all had time with a big quiz meet coming up.  But I insisted.  It helps them so much to look back and reflect.  It makes them wonder, what did I do this year?  What area of life and school did I grow in?  Try a new thing?  Gain another skill?  It is always so fun to try and figure out what each child will put on their bulletin board.

Again, my older son had an easy reason to not put one together.  He's almost "too cool" for this now as most of the kids at the Showcase are quite young, but I asked him to think about his year anyway.  He's going to put together a bulletin board on his co-op at the vet clinic.  He's taken the camera into the clinic and taken pictures that he'll display with a little write-up under each picture.  I thought it would be so great especially if another child walked by and wondered, "I wish I could be a vet.  How did you get that job?". 

My oldest daughter will perform a piece on piano, no bulletin board, though if she were to, I would have suggested doing one on CollegePlus.  I may end up putting one together for her! 

My next son, who is 14, is going to do one on our little horse, Marble.  It has been a neat year for him as he has spent a lot of time training him for these cute little Pony Parties.  How is that school?  Well, he's had to do all the reading and research entirely himself on how to do the training.  Then, he disciplined himself each day when school was done and went out there to train Marble.  He's done a great job!  He's written down each step and has a picture for each thing he did as well.  More than anything it's about a little business he has started and it gets him excited, so that's what he'll be talking about.

My second daughter, 11, will be doing multiple things.  She always has so many interests and it is hard to keep her to just one thing.  She's done very well in teaching herself to paint and draw this year and so she'll be displaying some of her art work.  She's also followed in her older cousin's footsteps and has taken on this little cake pop business and will be displaying some of her cake pop designs.  She's also started doing more sewing of purses, skirts and banners, so she'll be displaying those as well.  So her little table/bulletin board will be full!

My next son is hard to inspire and get excited about things in the same way as his siblings, but we did discover a couple of things he got really good at this year - making candle holders and memorizing Scripture.  He'll show all the steps to making the candle holders and then bring one in.  He's also got an uncanny ability to memorize Scripture, so I may just have him write about what he's learned this year.  There is no Bible Quizzing for his age group, so this year, I've asked my friend if she would consider letting the older kids quiz the younger kids so that they would feel they are "in Bible Quizzing", too.  It would give him a great outlet for all his memorizing.

The younger ones will display some of their drawings and art, but no major bulletin board.  They're kind of there for the snacks! 

For me, the Showcase also reveals time has passed and reminds me of the ups and downs that have happened in the last year.  I realize it's been a year now since my miscarriage.  It was at the Showcase last year that everyone found out I was pregnant.  So sad.  But life has gone on and I was carried through that experience.  There are all sorts of babies in my life through close friends all around me, so I'll always have a baby around me.  No need to stay in a dark place.

Showcase also shows me how my children are growing up and changing, developing skills, not just doing little posters on bugs or snakes anymore.  Seeing what all my kids are doing for the Showcase tells me I have a bunch of little entrepreneurs! They are quite determined to make their businesses a go, so it's exciting!  I have no personal entrepreneurial experience in my life so I am learning alongside them and am trying to be encouraging even though I have no clue what I'm talking about half the time.  I'm just trying to let things unfold one step at a time.  Sometimes I'll confide in RM later and say, "Do you think that is really going to work?" about one of our kids' ideas.  He always is quick to tell me that even if it doesn't work, they are gaining life experience through it all and that is what makes it worthwhile.  Even if they fail.

So, that is why we do the Showcase each year.  It forces us to reflect.  It forces me to reflect!  It is as much for me as it is for them, to be honest.  It makes us write down our reflections.  Reflecting through writing makes the lessons stick in our heads.  It gives each one of us a chance to share what we've learned and tell/show others in a tangible way.  It reveals areas of our life to all of us that we didn't even realize we had grown in!  It's a reminder that a year has passed.  All that through a large piece of cardstock!  Awesome.

Tuesday 2 June 2015

The Joy of Viruses, Paid Vacation, Bible Reading Challenge and My Secret Plan

Our house has been hit by a virus.  Nothing serious, just sore throats and runny noses, but what I love most about viruses is the sleep it brings to busy toddlers!  I often tell young moms who have sick children to enjoy the time of sickness!  They always look at me a little funny, but then after a few days where everyone has lots of naps and goes to bed easily and early then they understand that it is actually a gift from God!  Everything shuts down for a few days.... less school, less busy-ness, more cuddling.... did I mention more sleep!?  During the daytime at least.... my night was pretty bad last night as I was in and out of the little boys' bedroom, but that was because they were hungry!  So, anyway, I've learned to even be thankful for a virus.

We also made a very significant deadline with my husband's work.  He needed to complete a course he was writing by this past weekend.  It was going to be very tough to complete on time, but by God's grace he was able to do it.  The reason this deadline was so significant is because is means our little vacation we'll be taking in the fall is now going to be completely paid for and then some.  I can hardly believe it as this is what the plan was all along, but sometimes you make a plan and things don't always come together as you hope.  This time it did!  Yeah!  We knew if we were going to go away for our 20th we had to go without putting anything on credit.  He had had this course to write for sometime, but had put it on the back burner.  Now he had incentive to finish it off!  The bonus is that this covers all the costs of gas, too, and even gives us some extra money so that we don't have to feel so tight while we are away.

We'll have friends stay at our house while we are gone.  We have quite a bit to do on the house to make it safe and easy to take care of all the animals.  I thought the list was long last summer.  This summer we have so many things we'd love to do in only 3 months time, it seems impossible and hard to know where to start.  I constantly have to surrender my desires to the Lord and know that He'll show us what is most important.  That always frees me up and takes away the discontentment that always sits at my door waiting to make me feel discouraged.

We had some goal making the other night again with the kids.  Now that Bible quizzing is nearly over (the provincials are this weekend), I just wanted to make sure they were going to stay in God's Word over the summer, including myself and my husband.  A long time ago we came across this crazy idea of reading the whole Bible in 90 days.  I have never been able to do this as it requires reading 15 chapters a day, but somehow my older kids can do and have done it more than once.  So far two have taken on the challenge.  I've committed to trying, but generally get only a few chapters read as there are so many interruptions!  The younger ones are reading at least a chapter a day and we've been memorizing key verses that apply to self-control still which has been super funny.  They are still writing them out whenever they lose their tempers.  I had to keep myself from laughing the other day as my 4 year old was so angry at one of his siblings and knew he had to write out the verse.  He stomped over to the table, picked up his pen and with the reddest face possible he pressed the pencil onto the paper as hard as he could nearly yelling out the verse, "GOOD SENSE MAKES ONE SLOW TO ANGER, AND IT IS HIS GLORY TO OVERLOOK AN OFFENSE!!!!"  Uh, kind of missing the point.

The youngest boy has been observing all this writing and memorizing and when I asked one of the kids what the verse was, he piped in, "Good sense makes one look over a fence!"  Well, it was pretty close!  My husband and I keep saying that now.... we just need to look over more fences!  Kind of true!  They pick up more than we realize.

I'm also up to something right now.  No one seems to notice, although my husband has made a comment or two.  I decided I would secretly just start picking things up, leaving rooms tidy wherever I went without making a big deal of it.  I still ask the kids to pick up, but I used to think they would just see how messy things were and would do it naturally!  It wasn't happening.  I wondered if I started to do it if they would wonder what was up.  My husband's thoughts were, "If the house is clean to begin with, then the standard is set."  No child has seemed to notice yet, but I'm happier.  I literally do this all day long, but I've noticed that it isn't as hard to do if I do a little all the time.  My kids still have their chores.  They aren't off the hook by any means, but I feel like my house is a more pleasant place to be in.  Soon I'm going to let them in on the secret, but I'm wondering how long it will take for them to notice themselves.  I think they really think that a maid lives here.  There is no other explanation!  I really don't mind doing it actually.  It's been giving me an odd satisfaction to bless our home.  Not receiving any thanks has been good for me, too, as I get the sense of true servanthood and what that should look like.  Pointing out to them what I've been up to will take that away, so we'll see if I do end up revealing my secret or not. 

Well, once again, the day has begun.... way earlier than I intended, but the hungry toddler wouldn't stay in bed any longer.  I'm looking forward to his nap later on this morning.  I may just need to lay down with him.......