Humility...the Lessons and Blessings

Another amazing weekend in the books.  I think most of my Monday posts start like that.  I've written about this before, but I've been praying for my house for a long time as it is deteriorating.   I don't really remember praying about my furniture, however.  It was in rough shape, too, but I just figured we would get newer stuff when we somehow magically renovated the house.  It was given to us by a neighbour a few years ago.  It was starting to show wear and tear then, and, thanks to certain children who refuse to stop using our furniture like a trampoline, it got soooo bad that we literally bought duct tape that matched the colour of the couch, as well as patches off of amazon, anything to repair the horrible tears that were getting worse and worse.  I tried covering the open seams with blankets, pillows....you name it.  It never worked.  People would sit on them and kids would start pulling out the stuffing.  Then along came a miracle.....AS USUAL!

This is where the story gets embarrassing.  My parents offered up their basically brand new couches (compared to our's they looked brand new).  They were moving and they didn't need them in their new space, too big.  I said, "No thanks".  In my mind, they were the wrong size, wrong colour, wrong shape.  Our space was small and I couldn't picture two large couches in my house.  The couches we had that were in such rough shape were also big and I think I had hoped for something smaller to replace them or something more who-knows-what. I just kept saying no.  But I had this bad feeling in the back of my head especially when I looked at my horrible couches.  I just kept thinking, "Who do I think I am? What's my problem?"  That is when I officially starting praying, literally, about the couches and asking God what I was supposed to do as it was obvious I was being a fool to turn down such a great offer.  I'm convinced Satan had blinded me.

I was at my daughter's place (so weird to write that!) with my other daughter who is only 14 and I told them my situation how I was being offered the couches, but I didn't want the couches, but we needed the couches....my young 14 year old said, "Mom!  You're being too picky!"  and my older daughter said, "Take the couches!"  I immediately texted my husband and said, "We're taking the couches."  I knew they were right.  It was finally clear in my mind that I had been seeing things through the wrong eyes.  I had something in my head (don't know where it came from) and I had them pictured in my house not fitting.  I think I was picturing their living room space in my space.  I quickly called my mom, hoping beyond hope that they hadn't sold them or gotten rid of them yet.  Thank God they hadn't.  That would have been really bad.  They still had them and they went the extra mile and worked the whole moving day thing to have the couches delivered to our house so we didn't even have to get them.  That was HUGE.

This is where it gets very strange and another sign that Satan was trying to blind my eyes. When the couches got in our house, they looked like totally different couches.  They looked smaller!  I had pictured huge couches.  They weren't.  They were also dark brown, just like the ones we had thrown out.  I had thought the whoooooole time that they were navy.  Why?!  I have been at my parents house for 39 years.  Why did I think that?  Do I have no colour memory?  How weird is that?  At first they didn't quite seem to suit the space which I had been worried about, but then I did a quick furniture do-over and I reconfigured the whole space and it all came together in such a great way.  Everyone thinks it looks so good.  And they all look at me with, "I can't believe you almost didn't take the couches" look.  Yes.  I'm a dummy.  Like I said, so embarrassing.  We aren't the Kardashians.  And maybe it comes down to pride and being willing to accept people's generosity.  That can be humbling and quite frankly, I hate being humbled and in a position of humility on a fairly regular basis.  But, God loves that.  He works in a place of humility.  He can't deal with proud people.  I am so grateful for my children who called me out on it.  I'm so grateful for patient parents who probably shook their heads a thousand times as I said, no, no no.....I'm grateful to God who then blesses those who are humbled and turns the couches from blue to brown and from big to small (well, that's what it seems like!) and made my family room new AGAIN.

Our kitchen has also been deteriorating.  Cupboards are falling off.  Drawers are stuck.  The sink got cracked a few years ago.  The faucet is broken.  Countertops.....getting worse by the day.  But, I'm learning the humility lesson.  No place for pride anymore.  We'd been looking for a new sink on and off for weeks if not months.  Nothing was turning up that was a good price and that would fit.  But then yesterday there was a perfect one really close, so off RM went and picked it up.  It was perfect.  So we quickly pulled out the old one and then we saw how bad the surrounding cupboards and countertops really were.  They were literally falling apart, so we ripped those out and then we ended up taking out the rat-destroyed, non-functioning dishwasher/glorified dish rack, and realized we had kind of overdone it.  How would we put in a sink without a cupboard or counter to support it?  In came the plywood.  I didn't care.  I'm a newly humbled person....bring on the plywood countertop.  So we placed the sink in the middle of the plywood and now I have a working sink!!!!  I love it!  There are no cupboards below it so it looks a little rough, but we half-hope we'll get the amazing HGTV news soon!  If we don't we will figure it.  I know it's not forever.

We've been looking at our house with "people coming over for the first time" eyes because my son's girlfriend-to-be is coming over this weekend.  We wanted her to come see a quaint farmhouse, not a dumpy house.  Well, in one weekend it went from ripped couches and broken sink to new couches and new sink and almost entirely decorated for Christmas....beautiful lights and vine decorations everywhere....so cozy.  I picture her coming over and really loving our place.

So, a weekend of life lessons.  The power of humility over pride was the game changer.  I thought I was being humble, ironically, by saying no to new couches and living with my old ones.  But that's being a martyr actually.  Which, is actually pride.  Oh, the irony.  I was so close to missing out on blessing. That's where I truly see the miracle of God's patience, slow to anger, full of compassion towards me, abounding in love.  The blessing of children and our relationship which allowed them to speak into my life!!!  What if I hadn't had them in my life?  I'm so grateful for their wisdom at 14 and 24 years old!!!  Seeing how God miraculously took care of my old couches gives me hope for all things in my old house.  He knows our situation and I can confidently sit back and trust Him.

A Big Family Week and Thoughts on the Concept of "Finished"

This will go down as a big week in our family history.  Last night we celebrated my sister's book launch at an amazing restaurant in downtown Oakville.  Incredible.  It was so special to hear her journey, see all the people who showed up to celebrate her, listen to my cousin and his daughter perform their amazing musical talents and then just to enjoy reconnecting with people - which happens to be my personal favourite thing in life.  

The whole time I was thinking, "in two days my parents' life and my brother and his wife's life is about to change".  After 39 years of living in the same house, they are moving out.  Not quite into the new house, but into my sister's as their place isn't quite ready, but in a couple weeks they'll be officially into another home much closer to us, just 17 minutes away.  I can't imagine how tough this has been on them, packing up their life after being in one place for so long, but they've done it and are still doing it and it'll all be moved out on Saturday once and for all.

It's a much smaller space they're moving into, but you know, it kind of makes sense to pare down, but it'll probably take some getting used to.  How wonderful it'll be to have them near by along with my brother and his wife and they're adorable little family.  I still can't believe it's happening.  Praying it will all somehow come together and that God will guide the process so that things will go smoothly.

Meanwhile.....life on the winery has slowed to a standstill with customers, except when it doesn't.  Over the course of the summer we made some great connections with customers and they loved our wine.  On the weekend with a snowstorm on the way last week, 3 different couples came by around the same time, for a glass of wine and then a couple purchases.  But they didn't take one bottle home, they would buy a case, or half a case.  I couldn't believe it.  The snow was coming down hard, but they drove over anyway, because two of them were local - once was from Windsor - they were determined to come.  The best thing about locals is that they're local!  They buy from us because they like supporting local businesses and they like our wine.  It is quite something.  I was in shock.

Knowing we had an outdoor winery, we knew we had to come up with an indoor experience.  RM nailed it when he decided to put a stained glass class together.  We now have over 60 students who are signed up and ready to enjoy making stained glass classes....even into January now.  Those classes are now filling up as well.  We are in shock.  We honestly can't believe it.  God is so good and He's being so faithful, even when we are so faithless.  I am always in shock when I can buy groceries and that I have been buying groceries since June with no paycheque.  I was able to pick up coats for my boys.  I just can't believe it.  We hoped for this.  We prayed for this, but we never knew what it would look like.  So amazing.

Then, because life can't be funnier, my husband did another funny thing.  He applied to be on a TV show called "Farmhouse Facelift".  Our house is falling apart.  There's no denying that.  Every day it gets worse.  We have to do something, but what?  I had seen this on Facebook a couple years ago, but we were too busy to apply.  Now, we're busy, but we're desperate, so we applied!  He filmed our whole house in the messy state that it was....I was embarrassed, but oh well.  Maybe it'll get us sympathy. I wish we had heard the same day, but we didn't and maybe we never will orrrrrrrr, maybe we will?!  If we do hear, I'll follow over dead.  It isn't free even though it looks that way.  You have to come up with a HUGE sum of money, but we're so desperate that we're willing to do whatever it takes to come up with that money.  What we like is that they will design, bring in the trades, and have it all done in a certain amount of time.  We can't do that on our own.  They won't do the whole house, though our whole house needs to be done, but they'll do the main areas and then hopefully, by some miracle, we'll eventually be able to do the rest.  We are a work in progress, what can I say?  All I know is I don't know how much longer we can go with the house the way it is.....it is in rough shape.  Praying, all the time.....

What I read in Scripture all the time is the word "finished"..."Thus all the work that Solomon did for the house of the Lord was finished."  From the beginning of Scripture you see that there's the start of creation and then the end.  He didn't leave the earth half-done.  Solomon didn't leave the temple half-done.   Some of Jesus final words, "It is finished" even reflect the fact He had a job to do and He completed it entirely, on a much larger and more significant scale, of course, compared to a dumb renovation.   I believe we have this ache in our hearts when something gets started and not completed because we're wired to complete things.  Yet, I know we live in a fallen world, and maybe that's the problem.  Maybe this side of heaven we won't get to see things "complete" the way I long for and I accept that.  I just know that God creates us with these desires and so I thank God for how he's wired me and I humbly ask God to help us and our sick house that is rapidly deteriorating.  In the meantime, I continue to steward the the mess and chaos, knowing in the big picture it doesn't really matter.  I have shelter, food and clothing - we're good.

Dedicated to Dedicating

Today I'm letting my 16 year old "sleep in"....until 7:30.  Normally, he's been getting up at 5:30 each morning.  I get up at 5 (or earlier if it's a co-op day), just so I can get my coffee in and reading.  A couple of weeks ago we started a new habit - going to the gym.  I've been working out at home for years since we stopped going to the Y in Oakville 3 kids ago.  Since then it has never been a possibility.  The older boys all got memberships and I just couldn't see how I could fit it into my day or the cost,  but now I've made it a priority and we're trusting God to provide as I attempt good health!  It's also been a fun way to hang out with J every morning.

The gym is really close, but it's enough time to hang out for a few minutes there and back as I drive him to school afterwards as well.  Teen boys are challenging enough, and he's already not much of a talker, so I have to really work at it.  I'm grateful for this unique time in our lives.

We continue to marvel at how God has provided for us as the weather has turned colder.  October was amazing weather and we saw regular customers almost daily.  November was ok for a bit, but then slowed right down.  However, RM came up with a plan by doing these stained glass classes and they are a hit.  The one-day classes for Christmas ornaments filled up almost right away and the other classes get daily sign ups.  This brings immediate income and also potentially more as each customer potentially buys wine from us when they come.  I'm praying one or more of the customers will also consider using us as their corporate wine gift this Christmas.

Last night RM said he never would have imagined that he'd be making money from stained glass, yet there he is.  So amazing.  Such an answer to prayer.  Also, when it got colder, we were both wondering how we'd get people to come by and suddenly the hay sales started up again.  What hay?  Hay from 2 summers ago that we couldn't sell!  What if we'd sold it then?  We had been worried that it wasn't going to sell and that we'd get stuck with all this hay, but now, of course, we see how God knew we would need that hay to be available for sale right now.  So when the wine sales went down, the hay sales miraculously went up!  It's been amazing to watch how food keeps going in the fridge and how there's money to pay for it without a cheque from the college.  We still can't believe it.

Nearly every night we watch Airstream renovation videos.  I find them very boring, but my husband eats them up.  My 16 year old who initially didn't seem interested starting watching them, too, and now I'm praying this project will give him new skills.

I keep reading through 2 Chronicles.  It follows our whole life story.  David helped his son prepare for the temple building, got all the supplies, rejoiced at the willingness of the people and had a bit of a pre-grand opening celebration.  After he died, Solomon called everyone together, worshiped in preparation of the build, asked for wisdom, started up some businesses, got some skilled men and the building was complete in 3 chapters.  Then, he, too, had a Grand Opening/Dedication celebration.  I had never noticed these verses before because I had never had a Grand Opening, but now I'm noticing because of the place in our lives.  Solomon then gathered his assembly, which I always read as "his family", the Israelites, and he had a worship time, of "praise and thanksgiving to the Lord" saying, "for he is good. for his steadfast love endures forever".  And the "house, the house of the Lord (I really love that it is included what kind of house) was filled with a cloud, so that the priest could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the house of God".  This is my prayer.  I just want the glory of the Lord to fill our house, our property, our businesses and that it'll be obvious to everyone - like a cloud.  We've actually had fog here recently so thick you can't see a few feet in front of you.  That's what I'm talking about.

Then Solomon kept going and stood on a platform he had built.  He "spread out his hands" and "then he knelt on his knees in the presence of all the assembly and spread out his hands towards heaven" and prayed a prayer of dedication, speaking of who God is, "God of Israel".  He says, maybe to remind those listening, "there is no God like you, in heaven or earth, keeping covenant and showing steadfast love to your servants who walk before you with all their heart....."  Isn't that what we feel, too?  We say out loud, "You are the God who keeps His promises to us, showing constant steadfast love."  He adds this condition, "if only your sons pay close attention to their way, to walk in my law as you have walked before me."  So, what could I do, except respond the same way?

I only have the 3 youngest with me now at home - SO WEIRD - I said to them, "Let's do the same thing!"  I'm sure my kids had a core memory made that day.  We all got on our knees, spread out our hands towards heaven and then we all prayed a prayer of dedication, dedicating our lives, ourselves, our businesses, the winery, the stained glass, the AirBnBs, the farm, our homeschool, everything.  It was actually kind of special.  Our arms were sore afterwards, even though we only prayed for a couple minutes.  How did Solomon pray for a whole chapter!

We chatted last night about it and decided we should probably do that again with the whole family, having a prayer of dedication for all these things, but really we are doing this every day.

I'm still marveling at all that God is doing in our kids' lives.  My son, who waited so long for a job, is now loving his new job working as a tech in the eye surgeon's clinic.  After years of working in the winter in a wetsuit in the water with whales in below zero weather, he's sooooooo happy to be warm, talking with senior citizens, taking their eye measurements, just loving his life.  He got another mark back yesterday on a different exam and he scored in the highest quartile, so he has a better chance at med school this year.....but we won't hold our breath just yet.  He'll hear in January if he gets an interview.  It's coming up!  I'm just grateful he's finally getting a break after struggling so much.  

We also have comic relief back in our life with two cats in our home.  They chase each other all day and we laugh and laugh.  One is getting neutered today so he won't be laughing much today, but it is a funny life.

The winery still demands our time and it is getting cold - so much still left to do and I feel like spring is around the corner!  Time won't slow down!

Parents and brother/sister-in-law are moving very soon out our way - it's just such a busy time!  But so fun and fulfilling.  Thanking God for his steadfast love to us.

Solomon - the Epic Entrepreneur

Two days ago, our first trailer, meaning more are coming, pulled into our driveway.  It's big!  31 ft.!  Last night we had an Airstream Marathon where we watched multiple videos of the transformation of several online just to give the kids a vision of victory.  We want them to see that we aren't the only ones out there who do stuff like this.  We watched one family in particular that even started their own Airstream renovation business, so who knows where this will go.

Normally we have a mild freak out where we think to ourselves "what have we done?"  followed by more panic, dread, fear and all those awful feelings that make you feel crazy, but this time we were mostly excited and wishing we could start right away.  We have no time to waste.  Winter is coming, although yesterday was 21 degrees which was almost hot, like a summer day.  So if winter is going to be mild like that, we might just get it done sooner than we think.  It looks like the second one will arrive this week sometime and then we're going to get started soon after that.  We really want to have multiple sites on the farm, all facing the sunset which is amazing here.  I often wished we had lived on the opposite side of the road as you can have a view of the lake, but now I'm so glad we're on this side.

We often call our ideas "crazy", but this week my husband said, "We have to stop saying that" and he's right.  We are now saying that our ideas are God-given and they are.  I was reading this week in 2 Chronicles chapter one about Solomon.  1 Chronicles ended with David dying, full of days, which sounded so positive even though the last half of his life had so much misery.  It gave me the sense that even with the misery, God had redeemed his bad choices, his trouble with his children and turned it for good in the end.  There were also Grand Opening celebrations as they anticipated the start of the building of the temple.  Then chapter one starts with Solomon as the new king.  Instead of going right into building he goes right into worship.  He gathers his assembly and it says he goes intentionally to worship God as his first act of worship.  He extravagantly sacrifices 1000 burnt offerings.  One commentary says that he does this to show how rich he is but to also show how much he wants to show everyone that it all comes from God.  The next scene is where God says to him in the night, "What do you want?"  Instead of asking for wealth or long life, he famously asks for wisdom.  This response pleases God and he is given wisdom as well as much wealth, fame and much  more.  I think everyone assumes that he automatically got money deposited in his account, but the next scene seems to reveal how it came about and this is where I was so excited and encouraged by what I read, the morning the Airstream was arriving.

This next scene then starts talking about all the things Solomon starts doing and, to me anyway, they sound a lot like entrepreneurial businesses.  He starts dealing with chariots and horsemen, silver and gold, as well as cedar.  He then starts importing horses from Egypt where his "horse traders" would "buy them from Kue for a price".  This was where I started getting excited as I read these verses.  Solomon was acting unusally clever and taking initiative in his businesses.  It went on...."They imported a chariot from Egypt....and a horse....."  So now he's importing horses and chariots - so interesting....Next it says, "Likewise - meaning, in addition to all these other things he was doing he also did this - through them these were exported to all the kings of the Hittites and the kings of Syria." So cool - so he had a horse and chariot import/export business.  This just means so many other things.  He, therefore, must have had a horse breeding business as well as a chariot manufacturing business and all the trades involved with that.  And these would have been very important for war, so all the kings would have needed them.  He was a genius!  Or was he.....maybe this is the very way God answered his prayers, by giving Solomon these amazing answers to prayer, these amazing ideas.  Instead of dumping money in his account he gave him ideas!  Wisdom!  So exciting.  This is why we are no longer saying to each other or anyone else for that matter, "we're crazy".  No, we're not.  We're just thanking God for the ideas he gives us, the ability to carry out the ideas, the resources we have, the access to land.  God has placed us exactly where He wants us and we're just thanking God every day for placing us between Hittite kings and Syrian kings who will buy our horses and chariots that we are now making, such as Airstreams, wine, stained glass, etc.  Even yesterday, we prayed that we would have many wine sales, yet the income we made yesterday came from stained glass sales.  We did sell wine as it was a beautiful day, but we sold more in glass, equipment, and course related sales than we did in wine.  That was another genius idea RM had when he started the courses.  He had the foresight to realize his students would need tools and equipment, so he set up a "store" in the studio and unbelievably people buy from him because they are right there and he can direct them to what they need instead of them going to a different supplier.  It was "genius" except he can't take the credit - the ideas all come from God.  This is why we are going to church today again - to worship and sacrifice our 1000 burnt offerings, to thank Him for what he's doing in our lives.  We're just so excited.   

I'm fairly certain God showed me these verses for a reason on Friday.  If I had read them a year ago I don't think I would have been impacted by them in the same way.  It was so neat to read them "by coincidence" on the day the trailer was pulling in.  I think, ultimately, this was how Solomon was made wealthy, through work, through his visioning, through multiple businesses and, of course, all these ideas were from God.  Amazing.

Grand Opening Success and Now More Schemes

What a grand Grand Opening!  We sold out all the tickets we had and it turned into an absolutely perfect sunny day.  My sisters saved the day with helping out with bb'qing and serving food and we managed to feed 100 people without skipping a beat.  I think it came together just beautifully.  I think my favourite part was the last minute "merch" that came in.  We waaaaay overspent to have that happen, but we thought it was worth it.  Every member of the family got a hoodie and it looked awesome.  I loved seeing every kid from the youngest to the oldest walking around with their Urban Tractor Farm hoodie.  Having everyone involved and having their friends involved was amazing.  It was a blessed time.

You would think we'd sit back and go, "Ahhhhhh, finally a break!"  But, no. We're already scheming.  We have to!  The grand opening was great, but it wasn't free.  We had to pay for the musician and all the food and even though people bought wine, it wasn't enough to feed the family for very long.  So, after much thought and much input from multiple sources of people, we decided to move forward into our newest venture - starting up an AirBnB on site. Or two.  

Yesterday, we made the first investment and bought an  Airstream trailer.  These are super cool vintage trailers from the 60s that are the hottest thing right now  Everyone is buying them and redoing them in super cool modern styles.  They also double as tiny homes and resell at incredible prices.  We are also doing this as a way to host my daughter and her husband when they come over, or as a way to possibly host grandparents one day or even just extra guests who need a place to stay sometimes.  Either way, if we get it done in time, we should be up and running by spring if all goes as planned.  Depending on how fast it goes, we could ultimately have two or three if we do well with our first trailer, which is arriving ON FRIDAY!  It's already gutted, so that'll save us some time, but there's still lots of hard work ahead.

We got a really good deal on this trailer and we can't wait to get started.  We're going to document the process so that we can get the hype working for us.  The hope is that it'll be fully booked all spring and summer.  So fun!  It'll feel like we're making money in our sleep, literally, while people stay on the property.  We just have to keep at it.  There's no slowing down.  The difference before this was that we were doing all this scheming but somehow still had to manage meetings, phone calls, on-site work, etc. Now, we just work for us, so it's still a lot of work, but there's this underlying feeling of freedom.  So hard to explain, but we just love it.

It's forcing our hand again.  We have a shed full of stuff we want to get rid of so that we have a place to store the trailer.  Now, ugh, we have to clean out the shed.  This is no garden shed for lawn mowers.  This is a HUGE building full of things we've stored for years including vans, cars, riding mowers, etc.  Most of that is gone now, but we still have lots of stuff in it.  So here we go again on the ultimate clean up.  I really think our life is reality tv worthy sometimes.  It's hard to keep up with all that's going on.  People just shake their heads, but they don't know what it's like to feed a large family and keep a farm running.  

We had quite a few people from the Toronto area recently at the winery.  They came from the exact area we used to live when we were first married in a condo in downtown Mississauga.  They wondered how in the world we went from condo living to a 47 acre farm.  So I told them our story in a few brief minutes.  In their minds, we were living the dream.  I have to always let that sink in because I look around always see what "isn't done" instead of what "is done".  This is what we've had to do - we've had to prioritize things that make us an income.  This has put all renovations on the house indoors on hold.  That remains to be a challenge for me.  But I get it.  So when I hear we're living the dream, in a funny way that helps me.  All that to say, hopefully things like the trailer will bring the necessary income to not only feed the family, but to start up the renos again that have been on hold for what seems like years!

In great news - our son finally got a job at the eye doctor's clinic.  This is a dream job as he's working with a world class surgeon, assessing his patients and being alongside him in his work.  I'm so happy for him.  I can't wait to hear the back story of how they decided to hire him.  I'm sure it's going to be great.  Of all the jobs he applied to, this one was the one we all hoped for, so I'm praising God.

We also had a week off school this past week.  I needed that so badly to help set up for the Grand Opening, but also just to clean up the house that has been neglected since the farming season started.  I went through all the bedrooms yesterday and we finally got on top of those.  The main floor has been mostly cleaned up.  Laundry has been behind, so not doing so great on that, but hopefully getting on top of that, too.  Today is my final day for all that.  I could have used two weeks off, but oh well, back to the grind now....