Wednesday 18 April 2018

A Good Laugh

Today is a big day for my oldest.  Perhaps for some kids, the travel bug hits sooner, but for our girl, it's when she's 20, and thankfully, she's not going far.  She and a friend are off to Detroit, just a few hours away, but all by themselves, overnight.  Kinda sweet.  They're going to catch a concert and do some shopping.  Even though it isn't far and it isn't long, it still strikes me as another sign that she is not little anymore.  I know this.  But, these events just remind me and make me a little sad, but who am I kidding - I did it to my parents and they survived, so I guess I'll survive, too.  It's good practice for a few weeks from now.  My son will be off to India and I'm sure I'll be the crying mom at the airport.  Poor him!

At least I still have these little guys to keep me grounded.  We've had a few winner quotes lately from them here.  We went to a Safety Village last week and my 7 year old was very disappointed.  He said to me when we left (boy, was he grouchy as we got in the car), "I didn't want to learn about safety!  I wanted to learn about danger!!"  Sorry!  But this same little guy who refuses to get better at reading, also made a fantastic comment as he went to bed last night, "Mom!  I'm so excited about reading!  I can't believe it!  I've never had this feeling before!  I want to read more!"  I had been wanting to give up on him, but knew I had to press on.  We went to the library yesterday and I scoured the shelves for something that might draw him in.  I finally found a new series that I used to read as a kid, Choose Your Own Adventure, but for early readers.   I didn't want a "bubble gum" type of reading, but I knew he would probably like it.  In the older books you could potentially "die" if you chose a certain ending.  I told him this and he almost grabbed the book out of my hand!  I'm telling you, he loves danger, and risking life and limb is what gets him going.  Turns out, these younger books have NOTHING to do with dying of course as they are written for younger kids, so he was a little disappointed in that, but didn't matter.  He was sucked in to the fun idea of choosing different endings for stories.  He couldn't get enough of it.  It may have helped that I did bribe him with a reward of getting to buy his own chocolate bar if he read a whole book.  He has wanted one for weeks and I keep refusing.  So, I now have a kid excited about reading (and eating chocolate!) 

If it isn't funny kids that keep me busy and older kids that keep me praying, I have super bad animals that keep me mad.  Trying to be better at meal planning, I had planned for spaghetti last night.  I had the meat thawing in the sink in the mudroom.  My very smart cats know that I do this now and wait for it to thaw.  How nice of me to think of them, they must think.  They've grabbed it out of the sink and eaten it more than once, but lately, I've outsmarted them and have covered it with a heavy pot lid which they haven't been able to manage to lift.  Yesterday, I did the same thing and looked the cat in the eye and laughed.  I knew I had beat them again.  The cats must have had a meeting while I was out (remember there are 13 of them right now in the house!).  I came home ready to cook the meat and went to get it out of the sink.  No meat.  Just a lid.  There may as well have been a note that said, "Ha!  You lose!"  I screamed at the top of my lungs, "NOOOOOO!!!!!  WHERE IS IT YOU CATS!!!"  I couldn't find it anywhere. Usually I find half of the meat somewhere, but this time it was nowhere to be seen.  Then I found the empty plastic bag it had been in.....and a guilty pregnant dog nearby.  The cats had been nice enough to get it down on the floor and then she made quick work of getting rid of the cats just so she could satisfy her never-empty stomach.  That was the only time I felt not-so-angry.   Oddly enough, I thought, at least the dog got it.  I supplement her diet right now because of her pregnancy giving her extra meat and eggs to keep her in top pregnancy shape!  I couldn't look at the cats though without wanting to kick them out permanently.  They got to live another day just because I ignored them and their clandestine behaviour.  GRRRRRRRR....Oh well, makes for a very funny story at the very least, I guess.

So between kittens running everywhere, naughty kitty mommies, fat doggies (puppies due in less than two weeks now!), funny little kids, adventurous older kids, I sure have a lot to keep me busy, laughing and sometimes pulling my hair out.  My kids said to me yesterday, "Why are we having a second winter?'  GREAT QUESTION!!!!  I would certainly prefer Spring to come.  If it ever does come we will finally be able to fix our trampoline that is so ruined it's embarrassing.  But the new parts just sit there at the front door and may sit there, as the weather reporter said yesterday, "until August"....that's when he said Spring might come!  Ha!  I can see it.  We live in Canada, what do we expect!



Monday 16 April 2018

Ignoring the Accuser

We rarely have all our kids around.  The older ones are so busy that we just don't see them as much.  The reason we were all together was so strange!  Church was cancelled!  In all my years of going to church, I don't think I ever remember that happening, but it happened.  There was an ice storm going on in the middle of April.  What a strange thing to happen.  But it meant we could all be together and it made for a wonderful Sunday.  We had actually not missed church, oddly enough.  We'd gone to a Saturday evening service the night before to see my niece get baptized, so we had all been able to go to church together then.

We even were able to watch a movie together -  A Case for Christ, the movie about Lee Strobel's book by the same name.  What a tear-jerker.  Well, for me, anyway.  Such a testimony of how a wife's prayers impacted her husband and ultimately saved him spiritually.

As we continue to renovate our home, I'm constantly challenged to keep things in perspective and to make sure I remain in a position of contentment.  The reason it is a challenge is always the same - things take too long to finish, the disorder of the home in the meantime, blah, blah, blah.  But, it just takes one look at the news lately and I'm immediately put back in a position of, "Relax, lady.  You just need to keep your thoughts to yourself."

There has been more than one story now of people who have overextended themselves on their housing purchases when the market was super hot.  They found themselves paying sometimes several hundred thousand dollars more than the home was worth and would then get themselves in a bidding war.  The results have been devastating and the stress very real.  Now that the housing market has cooled down, they are still stuck with the payments that their overpriced house require.  In their overzealousness (new word?) they purchased their pricey homes without selling the ones they owned and now they cannot sell those either for what they had hoped.  Just reading their stories gave me stress!  One of the homeowners said something like, "This is the worst stress I've ever experienced in my life."  No doubt.

One family bid on a house and offered way more than they could afford and then renegged on their offer.  The seller sued and won.  This couple now owes nearly $500,000 to this other family.  They're going to have to sell their current home which is now not worth as much either, pay the other home owners and then rent.  They may not ever be able to buy again.  Talk about being in over their heads. Talk about buyers remorse. 

So I read these stories and I slap my own face.  Get a grip!  Desiring a nice home is wonderful.  I think God wants us to be good stewards of our things.  But I want to always make sure I don't create a frenzy in my own mind, just like these people who over-extended themselves.  They surely were listening to lies that had convinced them the houses were worth that much.  The real estate agents certainly don't have their client's best interest at heart.  In this case, the real estate agent told them their offer wasn't high enough and that "in order to have an edge over the other offers" they should pay more, $250,000 more!  Where does the frenzy start?  In our minds. 

I was reading Zechariah the other day and in chapter 3, there is a verse where Joshua is described, "Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him." (3:1)  What a picture.  Satan standing right beside him so he could whisper things in his ear to accuse him.  Isn't that what goes on all day in our heads if we aren't aware of Satan and his tactics?

I listened to my son yesterday.  He's 18, nearly 19 in a few weeks.  He's completing his 1st year of university, about to go off to India for 10 days, hoping he gets the dream job he's always wanted, working with dolphins and whales (interviewed last week for it), but, the one thing he struggles with is....wait for it....he is sharing a room with 2 little brothers, 5 and 7.  Hilarious struggle in my opinion.  Very sweet in my opinion.  But to him, it's starting to get to him.  He wanted his own space yesterday.  He was cleaning up his room so he had a better study space and all he found was stinky socks, Lego, tons of garbage, misplaced toys...he was ready to move out.  I had to have the "contentment talk" with him, too.  I could picture the accuser in his ear, "You know, you are probably the only 18 year old alive who has to share with two little brothers.  You should really have your own space.  They really get on your nerves, don't they?  Yeah, you need to complain more, really make a stink about this.  It isn't fair!"  And so, for a while there yesterday afternoon, there was a cloud over his head.  I could almost see it, but I understood it, because I've had that cloud, too, when all I see is what I don't have instead of picturing what I do have.  I've listened to the accuser, instead of being thankful to the Creator.  Fortunately, he got a grip pretty quick.  We promised that while he was away we would consider his concerns and maybe make some changes before he comes back. 

So, maybe that was it for those other people.  They heard the accuser in their heads, telling them they had to have a bigger home, a better home, price was no problem!  But the thing about Satan is that once he has you believing the lie, he pulls back and watches you fall.  The other stories talked about the hundreds of people who are in similar situations like the ones I've written about.  So many people fell for the lie, heard the accuser and bought in.  Most of them are going to face financial ruin the articles said.

I don't always catch the lies in my head right away, but I feel the cloud descend and that is my first clue that I've bought into the accuser.  Zechariah 3:2  has the antidote to Satan's lies, "And the Lord said to Satan, 'The Lord rebuke you, O Satan!"  I think we, too, have to rebuke Satan, in Jesus' name.  Then he has to leave us alone.  The next way to get rid of the cloud is immediate gratitude.  I start to see the progress we've made.  Instead of what we have left to go, I can see all that we've done.  It's such a better way to see things!  If I don't choose this way to view life, then my husband will be left with a dark and brooding wife.  In his efforts to make me happy he'll easily burn himself out and that would be disastrous.  I try to encourage him and thank him for how hard he works instead of complaining he didn't get enough done.

I am sorry for these people who are now facing such stress I can't even imagine, but I am grateful for the lessons I can take away from their difficult experience.  It is such a good reminder about the dangers of discontentment, extreme debt, and the role the accuser plays in our life if we aren't on guard.

Thursday 12 April 2018

Cow Season - Officially Over

A season of our life has come to an end.  We are no longer raising cows.  I never thought of the cows as a form of bondage.  They weren't.  I loved them.  Everyone did.  We even had garbage men stopping at the side of the road, taking out their cell phone, and then taking a picture.  The cows were like a tourist attraction!  And I loved the meat.  It wasn't free, of course, but it kind of felt that way.  My freezer was often fully-stocked with whatever kind of beef I wanted.  I loved that.  And I knew it was so good for me.  It was low in fat and cholesterol, high in protein, hormone-free, antibiotic-free, free range, grass fed.  It was awesome!  But I never looked at it from my husband and sons' perspective....

They had to work hard to keep those cows alive and sometimes they weren't staying alive.  We had several cows die over the nearly 7 years we had them for one reason or another.  No one's fault, but it would happen.  Last summer we nearly all lost our minds as the cows got out nearly every night, as well as during the day, and suddenly I was stuck with being the one to put them in.  They had broken the fencing and RM was working full-time. He didn't know how or when he could find the time to fix it.  But our neighbours were coming to report a cow sighting or even hearing a cow nearby and it was getting not just funny, but bad!  I say "funny" because occasionally at night we would be lying there in bed and one of us would say, "Did you hear that?  Was that a cow?  Outside our window?!"  Then, the next morning, we would see "evidence" of them having walked all over the property, near our house, around the playground, everywhere!  They would seem to go on these nightly trips, knowing we were in bed, and then show up the next morning as if everything was ok.  I wish we could have had a cow cam.

Somehow we got the fencing fixed, but it was a stressful time.  More stressful for RM than me.  He also had to grow a lot of hay to feed those guys.  I hadn't really thought of that.  We were doing hay anyway, what was the big deal?  To him, it was hay he could have sold, but instead it was money being eaten that we could have used.   Ohhhhhhh.  Then it was the boys.  They had to get up early to feed them every morning.  Fine.  Again, no big deal, except that now, with work and school, no one was around early to do it anymore.  Everyone was gone!  RM was starting to make these arguments to me regularly, but I was attached to these animals, which is funny, because I hardly ever did anything for them and I didn't go visit them regularly.  I just found them comforting to have on the farm, because, after all, we were, uh, a farm.  To have them go seemed like we were giving up on farming and I hated that!

I don't remember how I prayed, but I know I was praying, all the time, for my husband, his work, his well-being and I knew he wanted to get out of cows.  Fast.  Then, the miracle happened.

He saw an ad on kijiji looking for a herd of highland cows.  That's just what we have.  Who looks on-line for a herd of cows...locally, no less?  My husband got in touch with the guy and told him what we had and there was a little bit of back and forth for awhile, but then we never heard from him.  At least a couple of weeks went by.  Then, this past weekend, on Saturday, we got an email from the guy again making us an amazing offer!  We emailed back right away and by Sunday, he had come, paid, picked up and they were gone, in less than 24 hours!  Completely problem-free, hassle-free....no issues, no safety concerns, all pick-ups went smoothly. (I had people praying!)

This was NOT how it went when we bought the cows.  It was a huge ordeal, full of problems, a nightmare basically.  I think RM felt like that was going to happen all over again, but it didn't, not by a long shot.  Again, I had never considered them a form of bondage, but suddenly when they were gone, as sad as I was, I felt, and especially RM felt, a HUGE burden lifted.  I did find it interesting to note that it was in the 7th year that God ended the cow season as that is the number in the Bible that talks about the year a slave can go free.  We were in a form of bondage to the cows, at least RM was.  And now he was free.  He was so happy.  We have one bull left, but he will go in the freezer soon.  He's huge, so he'll last us a while.

My son who is now nearly 12, got the cows on his 5th birthday.  He was a little sad to see them go.  And it isn't to say we won't get a different animal to replace the cows someday, just not now.  With so much work going on in the house, it is a lot to deal with.  Now my husband can focus on the house without thinking about the cows.

It occurred to me that the things that hold us in bondage are being cleared away one thing at a time.  God doesn't always take away the whole gamut (I looked up the spelling for that word....not what I expected!) all at once, though I wish he would.  Yet, He FAITHFULLY takes one burden at a time.  He knows, better than I do, which burden is heavier.  I didn't think it was the cows, until they were gone.  Now I see it.  Now I understand the pressure my husband had been under.  More than I realized.  When I drove in the last few days to the driveway, I didn't see the cows anymore and at first I was sad, but the next thing that entered my head was, "The farm looks cleaner!"  Cows make a lot of mess.  It will be nice to clean the farm up a bit.

I have been writing in the homeschool mom digest each week about praying for our husbands.  I have been trying to practice what I preach and really praying every morning for RM.  I'm seeing some really neat things happen and I completely attribute it to the prayers of a praying wife.

So, do I need to worry about my husband?  Never.  I am becoming his greatest prayer warrior.  And I have no war room, no prayer room, per se.  I simply stand at the kitchen sink, in front of the washing machine, in the car, and I pray whenever I can, for him, for the kids, and I just stand back in amazement, nearly daily, as the miracles (and clothes)  unfold around me.

Wednesday 4 April 2018

Renos, Easter and Baptisms

Correction.  We have short-eared owls.  One of the wildlife photographers (the only one, I might add that asked permission to be on our property) came by and gave us a picture to thank us for allowing her to be around so much!  We were actually getting worried for a while there.  The cars were starting to literally line up night after night to catch a glimpse of these owls.  When the photographer dropped in the other night, we asked her how many people she had told!  She said only one other person from the owl society who had promised to keep it under wraps.  The word got out though, that's for sure.  Now it has settled down and we don't think we have to worry anymore, but it was getting a little crazy for a few days....Turns out one of the owl people counted 10 owls!

We were planning our Easter weekend and had our second "family" coming over on Sunday.  So you would think, that is, a regular family would think, "Don't start another reno until after people leave." Not us.  We start a reno right before people come over.  But the friends coming over should take it as a compliment that we are all that comfortable with one another to have them over in all the chaos and not worry about it.

So on the Thursday night, my husband got it in his head, "Now's the time to start sanding the ceilings."  Ok!  Sure!  He had been procrastinating because it was going to be such an awful job.  I didn't dare push him.  I had offered multiple times to do it on my own, but he knew it was going to be a very messy project and was not going to let me.  It was getting late on the Thursday night, but no matter.  We called the older kids and had them start taking the furniture out of the room.  Before long, the whole room was cleared.  Half was in the kitchen, some was in the loft room, and the big couches were in the shop outside.  Ready to start.  With a dust mask on, a hat and his sander, RM got to it.  By Sunday, he wasn't even half way through, but the beams are starting to look amazing.  The final product will be beautiful as we slowly but surely bring this old house back to life.  But again, not for the faint at heart.  It is a slow process.  I enjoy it most of the time, but the chaos is not always easy to live with.  I also think it's the not knowing of just how long it will take.  Sometimes I just want to know!  It could be years more.  But we've gone through all the back and forth of "Should we have just bought new?!"  and the answer is always, "But then we wouldn't have this or that or this or that....."  So we press on and hope that we make it through!  It continues to mesh with the debt-free plan.  Do it ourselves.  Don't hire, unless absolutely necessary, although I have admitted to RM that I absolutely love the word "sub-contractor"!  And, we do all this, keeping in mind, one day it will help our place sell and then we'll get top dollar if we ever need to.  A house around the corner that was recently built and looks like a new version of our's sold very high and that was with no land.  So I'm encouraged to go for the long haul.

Easter dinner was kept to one room and one room only as there was literally no where else to go!  Thankfully we had kittens to distract all the little kids.  I was able to somehow pull it all together with very little prep space.  We had just come from a very emotional service at church where several young people including a close friend of our's had gotten baptized.  I was in awe of the testimony of these kids, aged 11-19.  They were so spiritually mature at such young ages.  The power of God in their lives was so obvious and I was so encouraged to hear how sensitive to the Holy Spirit they were.  My friend had been so frustrated that her son had been getting concussion after concussion and was struggling so much with headaches and needing professional medical help.  In the end, he was really unable to do much school anymore due to his need to lay down and not read.  However, God was working in his life and He ended up using this very difficult situation to bring him to Himself.  In front of the whole church he admitted God had been humbling him as he is a very capable boy and had become proud in all his accomplishments.  I couldn't help but cry as I watched him through my friend's eyes.  We don't always see how God is working in our children's lives at the hard times.  I'm sure she can say now she is thankful for the pain God allowed in his life.

All these lessons, all these life lessons, I try to keep at the forefront of my mind all day long.  The battle is never over.  I fight thoughts of discouragement only by speaking truth to myself and asking the Lord to bring these battles won back to mind.  This is what brings the victory over despair.