Thursday 30 June 2016

A New Look at Rahab

After the ladies' retreat that I went to a few weeks ago, I wrote about the first two ladies Jen Wilkin had talked about.  I never got around to writing about the 3rd, Rahab, but after speaking with someone this week about those same women, I realized I needed to finish and cement Rahab's purpose for being included in the Bible into my mind.  She was another amazing woman.

Sarah was "too much".  Leah was "not enough".  Rahab was "of no account at all".  Why?  Because when we think of Rahab, we remember her as  prostitute or even a liar.  Yet, the Bible does not.  In fact, in James she is described right after Abraham as being a person of faith.  The Bible uses the contrast of Abraham, who is high and exalted and then compares him to Rahab, a woman at the bottom of the heap.  However, low she might have been, the Bible still says she was "justified by works".  She showed her faith through her works.

Jen Wilkin loved Rahab as she was such an unlikely hero.  She was a woman, a Cannanite and a prostitute.  A social outcast.  She then went through all sorts of commentaries from the past right up to current well-known theologians.  Each one had judged her as a liar and a tramp......except for Scripture and God.  Why would God see her this way when it is clearly not the best model for a heroine?

Jen's theory?  Perhaps it  wasn't the way we've all thought our whole lives.  Jen made us go back and think, really think....do all girls grow up and say, "I want to be a prostitute when I grow up?!"  No. NO ONE SAYS THAT.  All prostitutes find themselves one.  They do not grow up seeking to become one.  Generally speaking, those who find themselves in that position have been put in that situation because of a lack of money.  Even today, families will sell their children into human trafficking because of debt and desperation.  That might have been the very situation that Rahab found herself in. Either her parents were in debt or she herself was in debt.  We don't know, but it is very unlikely that she was happy and in the position she was on purpose.

If that is the case, which Jen was quite certain it was, then Rahab was also miserable and longing for freedom, for a Saviour.

Whenever someone is given a name or mentioned by name in the Bible, it is pretty special.  In Joshua, Rahab is named.  We don't know the names of the two spies or even the name of the king of Jericho, but we know her name, so right away, we know to pay attention to her.

When she is given the opportunity to protect the 2 spies, she hides them.  Jen mentioned the word "hidden" is only used twice in the Bible.  The other time was when Moses was hidden and it was used as a loving term showing care as he was hidden by his mother.  She wanted to save his life.  Rahab was not just doing this for herself, she genuinely cared about the two spies.  Yet she lied.  This aspect of the story troubles commentators appparently.  Are you just supposed to think, "I guess God can use liars in the world?"  No.  Jen reminded us of other places in Scripture where people lied, such as the midwives in Israel who would purposely not kill the newborn babies and then say, "The Israelite women just give birth so fast!"

Jen said Rahab (and the Israelite midwives) gave truth to whom it was owed.  She protected the spies and therefore protected life.  However, Jen, said, evenso, that is not the focus of the story. The focus is the arrow it's pointing to - her faithful declaration of belief in God.  She feared God more than the king of Jericho.  Her uncommon bravery came from an uncommon belief.  The story is not about the lie.  We aren't supposed to be distracted by that.

Just like Sarah's faith came from her miracle baby, we must find out where Rahab's belief came from. Why did she have this uncommon faith?  Exodus 15:15,16 has the answer, "Now are the chief of Edom dismayed; trembling seizes the leaders of Moab; all the inhabitants of Canaan have melted away.  Terror and dread fall upon them; because of the greatness of your arm, the are still as a stone..."

Rahab was one of the people was was "dismayed".  She "trembled".  Her heart "melted away".  She felt "terror and dread".  Everyone around had heard of all that God had done, the parting of the sea, the rescue from Egypt, the miracles done when Pharoah wouldn't let the Israelites go.  Rahab probably scanned the wilderness for years, looking for deliverance for herself.  Then, it walks in her door in the form of two spies.  She must have been amazed as she saw herself potentially being rescued.  She was a more faithful believer in God than the Israelites themselves.  The type of kindness she showed is attributed to the same kindness of God.

She did take a risk in protecting the men.  For years men have treated her as dirt.  For the first time in her life, she is treated as a sister.  They promise to protect her.  What an amazing moment that must have been for her!  She had her own passover moment as she lets down the red cord out of her window so that she would be passed over, not killed.

And what comes of all this?  Just like Leah, she is part of the line of Jesus.  A prostitute is in the line. How unlikely!  Yet so beautiful.  There is actually no proof she led an immoral life.  She may have been more of a victim than anything.  Yet, even if she did, don't we all have something we've done in our past or don't we all have something that has been done to us that we are not proud of?  We are all empty in some way.  But Jen said, "Only the empty can be filled.  Those who are full of themselves can't be filled."

If we aren't sure that God loves us, we should be.  If we are last, lost, starving, mourning, or grieving, we must know, just like Rahab did, that we will be exalted at the proper time.  It might even be in death.  Finally she said, "Nothing is for nothing.  It all gets used."  Rahab's reputation in the Bible is one of great faith.  Though her life was awful and she found herself in a horrible situation, she had faith in God, that one day He would save her and He did.  She became known as a woman to be admired.  We need that same faith, that God will save us.  He has saved us!  We have Jesus.  But if we find ourselves in a situation that is like slavery, we must believe that He can rescue us from that situation, too.  We need that uncommon faith as well.

So, that is the story of Rahab.  I appreciate her more than ever.  I'd like a word with all those commentators out there who give her a bad name.  Give us new eyes to be careful not to judge others. They do not know her full story.  They need to look at her the way God looks at her.

Monday 27 June 2016

The Charge to Our Daughter on Graduating

One down.....7 to go!  So we graduated our oldest on Friday from our highschool at home.  A wonderful time of reflection as we had to prepare words of blessing to her on her.  The words flowed out of me easily as I knew exactly what I wanted to communicate to her.  Shockingly, I made it through with only a little sniff at the very beginning.

King David's son was also graduating from his highschool thousands of years ago.  King David knew he needed to do everything in his power to prepare him before he left home.  David said, "Solomon my son is young and inexperienced, and the house that is to be built for the Lord must be exceedingly magnificent, of fame and glory throughout all my lands.  I will therefore make preparation for it." Ok, maybe it wasn't highschool Solomon was graduating to, more like "King Schoole", but in a way he was.  He was graduating from being a young boy in his father's house to being a king one day!  His father wanted to build a house for the Lord, but God told him, "No, it will be your son instead." Though he wasn't the one to build it officially, he decided there was something he could do.  He realized how "young and inexperienced" his son was and that he could give him a helping hand by providing all the materials he would need.

In a way, I feel this is what we've done by homeschooling our daughter.  I would love to give her a house, a husband, a career, all her future kids in a little package, ready to go, but God has said, "No, she must get these things on her own, with my help."  Our job, as parents, was therefore to see how young and inexperienced she was and give her all that she would need for life while she was under our roof.  Isn't that what all parents strive for?

We provided her with the tools of education, certain courses, certain opportunities, encouragement, a stable home environment, hard work......all that we could within our means.

David did this, too.  "Then he called for Solomon his son and charged him......"  That was what we did on Friday night.  We called our daughter and charged her to do all that was ahead of her for God's glory.  David said, "Now, my son, the Lord be with you, so that you may succeed in building the house of the Lord your God, as He has spoken concerning you.  Only may the Lord grant you discretion and understanding, that when He gives you charge over Israel you may keep the law of the Lord your God.  Then you will prosper if you are careful to observe the statutes and the rules that the Lord commanded Moses for Israel.  Be strong and courageous.  Fear not; do not be dismayed.  With great pains I have provided the house of the Lord 100,000 talents of gold, a million talents of silver, and bronze and iron beyond weighing for there is so much of it; timber and stone, too, I have provided.  To these you must add.  You have an abundance of workmen: stonecutters, masons, carpenters, and all kinds of craftsmen without number, skilled in working gold, silver, bronze and iron.  Arise and work! The Lord be with you!"

This is what we've asked the Lord, too, that He would be with her, that she would "succeed in building the house of the Lord" as one day she will build a house, her own house and family that, Lord willing, God will give her one day.  She will need discretion and understanding, just as Solomon needed as she already has students under her.  Perhaps one day she'll even have her own children under her charge.  But she must keep the law of the Lord.  She must observe His statutes and rules. She must also be strong and courageous as there will be tough times ahead.  Yet she need never fear or be dismayed.  David provided all sorts of gold, silver, bronze and iron for Solomon.  We can not give her that, but we have an abundance of siblings, other teachers, grandparents who will have her back if she needs help!   And to all the opportunities we've given her, "to these she must add".  She'll need to look for more opportunities herself.

I love David's charge at the end, "Arise and work!"  That's it!  Now, she's just go to go out there and work!  Save money!  Be ready for what is ahead!

David also commanded "all the leaders of Israel to help Solomon his son saying, "Is not the Lord your God with you?  And has he not given you peace on every side?  For He has delivered the inhabitants of the land into my hand, and the land is subdued before the Lord and His people.  Now set your mind and heard to seek the Lord your God.  Arise and build the sanctuary of the Lord God, so that the ark of the covenant of the Lord and the holy vessels of God may be brought into a house built for the name of the Lord."

That is what we now commend our other children who surround her.  None of us have to be afraid. God is with us.  He's given us peace "on every side".  He's delivered the "inhabitants of the land" into our hands by showing His faithfulness to us from the beginning.  Now, our daughter, our other children, ourselves, all we have to do is "set our minds and hearts to seek the Lord our God".  We need to "arise and build" the sanctuary of our home, continuing to charge all of our kids with the same message of courage, strength and determination until that final day when the ark will rest and Christ has ultimately returned.

Friday 24 June 2016

Homeschool Grad

Having so many children at such different stages is so fun.   On the one extreme, we have our oldest "graduating" from our homeschool tonight...officially.  It is so hard to make homeschooling "official" when it is so unofficial, but at some point you have to pick a time and place, and so tonight it is!

On the other extreme, we have our two littlest.  They have found a new activity which makes me so glad we live in an old farmhouse.  They start off in our little pool outside.  It is cold water and they swim and swim.  Then, in their soaking wet suits, they walk/run into the house, down the hall, and into the bathroom on the main floor where they fill up the "hot tub".  That's right, we now have a hot tub (which is a regular tub filled with warm water....!)  They then sit in there for a few minutes, get warm, splash water all over the floor, then jump out, scoot/slip back down the hall on the other wet footprints, where they somehow make it back to the pool (often falling all over the wet floor on the way out) and the whole cycle starts all over again.  They do this all day long.

One child is picking grad dresses, makeup and hair-dos.  The other children are throwing sand at each other, wearing goggles, don't even know she's graduating, and just wonder what's for lunch.  I find is all so amusing.  One of the little ones asked, "What's grad?"  "S is finishing high school."  "What's high school?"  "Don't worry about it....all you have to know is there are going to be desserts there."  "Yeah!  I love grad!"

So they are excited about grad for all the wrong reasons, thanks to me.

My goal tonight, as always, is to not cry.  I never achieve this goal, but people are getting used to this fact I think as I am up at the front a lot.  It seems every year there is a child graduating from either gr. 8 or gr. 12.  We are so blessed to be allowed to speak to our daughter tonight for just a few minutes, to give a blessing to her in front of those who will be there.  This is such a unique part of the homeschooling journey as I was her main teacher for every single grade!  Who better to give the blessing than the parents?

Homeschool graduations might be a little boring compared to the regular way, but I still love them so much.  There isn't a dance or a big meal, but we are still going to make it special by connecting with another family whose daughter will also graduate tonight.  Then the next night we're going to get together as families and have a big swim/volleyball party with a lot of their friends.  What I love is that our daughter expected our whole family to be there.

In a lot of ways, nothing will change for her.  She'll still be at home after this, continuing her piano education, continuing to teach others from our home, but it is still important to acknowledge she has accomplished a lot, she's studied a lot, she's at a new stage of life.  She's an adult now.  Making it a little more formal will perhaps help her just in her mindset so that she can go from this point on knowing she's "a big girl" now.

The verse I'll be sharing with her tonight is this, Psalm 144:12, "May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, and our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace."  She will need to be a woman of strength and inner beauty, "cut for the structure of a palace."  But King David knew this could be possible, but only if God was on His side.  That is my prayer for her.

Wednesday 22 June 2016

On Turning 8....

Today my youngest daughter is turning 8.  This is always a big birthday in our home.  Depending on the sex of the child, the 8 year old girl gets a day and a night away with Mom or the 8 year old boy gets away with Dad.  Today, it's me and my littlest girl's turn!  She is so excited and has been counting down the days for a long time.

So why do we go away?  Why is turning 8 such a big deal?  It isn't really.  We just decided we would make it a big deal.  We always wanted to be the ones to inform our kids about growing up and all that is involved with that.  We also wanted to make it a fun time, a memorable time, not an happenstance type of conversation, but instead intentional.  We also found this is a very sweet innocent age where their knowledge of the birds and the bees is just starting to grow, yet where they are still willing to discuss things without getting super uncomfortable.  Seven?  A little too young.  Nine?  Starting to perhaps get squirmy.  Eight?  Just right.

Most of the time we'll just have fun together.  The actual "talk" will be very short.  I have to admit, I don't love that part either.  One of my kids went away with my husband and came back the next day. I asked my son, "Soooo....how did it go?"  "Mom!  I can't believe it!  It is so gross!!!!"  Once, they have knowledge, everything does change for them, too.  Leaving them in the dark is kind of a nice thing!  But, they must know....we have chickens and roosters, female cats and male cats, bulls and cows....all very "active" shall we say.  Even the frogs and flies are busy!  And my kids know what they are doing.  The younger ones never seem to figure out the human side of it.

All that being said, I am still so glad we are the ones who get to share the news.  The schools would prefer to do it and they are, but I'm not going to share the way they would like me to.  I am so glad that I can share the way God intended it to be.

Today she'll leave unaware, but come back full of knowledge.  They are all growing up and there is nothing I can do to stop it!  I tell them all not to eat, but they won't listen to me.  Life is just happening to so fast.  Only 4 days from now we'll celebrate yet another child's birthday......where is the pause button!!!!?

Off to make crepes  - again - I should open a restaurant, I make them so often!

Tuesday 21 June 2016

Sitting is Just Not an Option

A couple of days ago I said to my husband, "I think this is all I do....clean, clean, clean....it never stops....."  I wasn't really complaining, I was just stating a fact.  I do a lot of cleaning, all day, every day.  I never sit down.  I also ask my kids to do a lot of cleaning and they do it, all day, every day.  No big deal, doesn't seem profound....until yesterday.

We went to church and I listened to a verse that I had never heard or paid attention to in Hebrews 10. You'll read it and you'll wonder, "What in the world does this have to do with cleaning?"

Verse 11, and 12 says, "And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.  But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until His enemies should be a footstool for His feet."

The pastor described how in the Old Testament the priests had to constantly offer sacrifices, but ultimately it never took away their sins.  The law pointed them to their need for a Saviour, though they did not necessarily know that.  We see it now.  When Christ came, they no longer needed to make those sacrifices as He was enough.  The pastor then pointed something out that I had never seen before - the priests "stand daily", but when Christ died "he sat down".  Why?  There was no more need to stand, the work was done.  That phrase "he sat down" is repeated several times.

I went home and meditated on that verse all that day and then into the next.  Then it hit me.  I am like one of the priests.  I "stand daily" at my "service".  I am "offering repeatedly the SAME sacrifices" every single day.  I do the same tasks over and over.  I never sit down.  I stand.  If I do sit down, it is usually at the end of the day when my task is complete, but really, they are never complete.  They will start up again the next day.  When will my work on earth be done?  Until Christ returns, I must continue to stand, in all aspects of my life.

I am not offering sacrifices the way the priests of the Old Testament did, thinking it will take away my sins.  I offer my sacrifices as a way of showing thanks for what Christ has done for me.  I love the fact that the Bible even uses the word "same sacrifices" and then even says, "offering repeatedly". Isn't that exactly what I am doing when I wash dishes, do laundry, cook a meal, sweep a floor?  It is the same sacrifice, offered repeatedly, every single day.  Literally each task or sacrifice that I offer requires me to stand.  I cannot sit down and sweep, though I have tried!  I can't cook sitting down or vacuum sitting down or wash the dishes sitting down.  Nope, I must stand.  My feet get so tired at the end of the day.  There's that heavenly longing in us that says, "How long?"

My daughter had gone on a hike on Sunday, then she was on her feet the whole day before that, then I was requiring her to help with the housecleaning....she complained, "But my feet hurt!"  What a perfect segue into my little mini-devotion on standing!  I explained to the kids that we can offer our same daily sacrifices, all of which require standing, as a way of showing our thanks for what Christ has done.  We will not get a chance to sit until He returns, so until He does, we press on.  It was perfect timing for my older children who are on week 2 of haying.  Talking about doing a task that requires standing, not to mention every single muscle group you never knew existed before!  At the end of a day, every haying child and husband feels like their feet are about to fall off.  All they want to do is sit, but they can't, not until the task is complete.

It was such a good picture for me.  I understand the priests of the Old Testament a bit more now.  I feel like I have a better understanding of what they did, the daily sacrifices they offered.  It always pointed to a longing the had within them, the need for a Saviour.  They must have known deep down, this isn't enough.  The sacrifices I now offer are much the same.   I love my life and I have many eternal moments throughout my days, yet there is this constant undertone within me, a longing, a desire for things of heaven.  This side of heaven, no matter how much I clean, or try to create a "perfect" home, or perfect kids, or whatever it is, it is impossible.  Yet that desire and lack of perfection points to heaven and Christ's return.

Knowing this, until Christ returns, it is my "priestly duty" to continue to offer my "same sacrifices"......"offering repeatedly".  I must stand daily knowing that there will come a day when I can sit.  The Bible even says Christ was waiting "from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet."  He gets a Lazyboy made out of His enemies!  So I must wait, too, for my footstool.  In the meantime this picture helps me with my often wearisome tasks.  Sitting just isn't an option.....yet.


Friday 17 June 2016

House and Barn, Literally

I was reflecting yesterday on how differently I used to shop for things when I lived in our last location.  I always loved decorating our home and making it cozy, but everything I wanted was so expensive.  I wasn't entirely foolish, I would wait for the sales, especially the 50% off sale that would happen after Christmas when all the store's decor would be marked down.  I loved the rustic decor, but for some reason rustic is expensive!  I was able to acquire a few things over the years, but usually just had to stay away from those stores.

Recently, since we moved here I realized I haven't been in a home decor store in years. Now I shop in my barn, the shed, the pig barn or the vineyard.  Somehow as I look around, I'm surrounded by things I love and amazingly enough, hasn't cost me a dime.  I still get to decorate and make things cozy and rustic, but without driving all the way to my favourite stores.  I like that my new favourite stores are at the end of the driveway.   A friend came over and noticed some of the things I had out and she said, "Hey, I was just at an antique market and I saw that and that and that (as she pointed to a couple of wine crates and a ladder."  "Cool!"  I thought.  Then she told me the prices.....that was when I was super happy.  

Is it possible that God cares about decor?  That He knows I long to be surrounded by beautiful things yet want so badly to be wise with our money?  I believe He does care about beautiful things.  Just look at creation.  He has surrounded us with beauty everywhere, so no question there.  I also think He has put it in the heart of a woman, a wife, a mother, that she wants her "nest" to be cozy, maybe not with feathers, but feather-like things, such as pictures, candles, flowers....anything that makes the family realize, "My mom is happy here."  I don't think they realize that's what it signifies, but it does. The more I make our house a cozy nest, the more I love being in my home and I don't want to leave it!  And that makes sense, doesn't it?  This is where I am supposed to be and when I am surrounded by things I love, I am much happier to stay.  

Proverbs 31:27 says, "She looks well to the ways of her household."  There are many "ways" in my household and this is definitely one of the ways that I like to "look well" to.  I find it very fun and very rewarding.  I also change things up on a regular basis.  I get bored looking at the same thing in the same place all the time.  So what do I do?  Move the exact same things I own to a different location.  My kids will leave to go on a short errand and the entire kitchen can be redecorated by the time they come back.  I love doing that.  I've done it with my Barbie furniture since I was a kid.  I also used to do that with our furniture when I was growing up.  I don't even remember asking my mom, I would just start moving couches and chairs so I could make the living room look "new".  I think the kids like it, having a "new house" every so often.  That is also free.

We are far from being completely done over here.  It is a long process, but it is coming along slowly but surely and it isn't costing me very much in the process.  My favourite piece of free decor? Roadside wild flowers.....another gift from the Lord.  I daily send my girls out to pick a new bouquet. So pretty! God didn't have to put those weeds there!  But He did, so I'm using them (maybe that's why my kids are sneezing so much.....)   

I think I thought getting out of debt would be this awful onerous process where you can't enjoy anything, spend anything and you have to live in abject ugliness.  In fact, it has been quite the opposite.  It has made me more resourceful and has taught me to think outside the box.  Where I used to jump in the car, go shopping and spend money I didn't have, now I walk out the door and into the barn.  So this process hasn't been miserable at all, but instead has showed me I can still do what I enjoy doing without spending anything!  My home will not make it into any magazines, but I am happy and that spreads out into every room of the house.

Thursday 16 June 2016

Inheriting the Land and Leah's Sad Story

Yesterday we watched a film called Inherit the Land about several families who longed for the agrarian lifestyle and then made steps to do it.  We first watched this film over 10 years ago.  It always made us so upset.  How we longed for that very thing, to leave the suburbs, the city, grow our own food, work our own land, be close by our kids, enjoy pleasant views, country breezes.......This time when we watched it, we would shake our heads in awe and gratefulness - it has happened!

We just finished a full week of haying alongside our boys and our girls.  I didn't even ask the younger ones to join in, but the morning of, they just put on their old jeans, found some work gloves and then ran outside with the rest of them, including the 5 and 9 year old.  They worked all day!  Perhaps not quite 12 hours like the older boys, but nearly.  Working alongside children?  Check.  Doing hard work? (no one can walk around here.....in too much pain!)  Check check.

We are on round 2 of trying a garden.  We actually got seeds planted and now, to my amazement, even though the soil isn't wonderful, we have green sprouts all over the garden.  I'm amazed. Attempting to grow our own food?  Check.

We really could have been one of the families they interviewed on the film.  One of the moms said how it struck her one day while they were still living in town how dependent they were on the 24 hour grocery store.  What if there ever were a national crisis and she was unable to feed her family? That is exactly what I felt one day while living in town years ago.  There had been some gas shortage and gas stations all over town said, "No gas, sorry."  One of the places that still had gas was just up the street and the lineups to the gas station were way down the road.  I felt like I was in a bad dream! I couldn't believe it was happening in my wealthy little town!  That was when it struck me, "If it's the gas stations today, when will it be the grocery stores?"  We had no ability to grow our own food, no land, no animals, nothing.  It was soon after that that we kicked it into high gear, not out of fear, but out of wisdom!  We no longer pursued the dream of country living for the ability to have a nice property, but so that we could feed our family!  Frozen chickens in the freezer?  Check.

So we thank God for how He has answered our prayers.  We know He has, but last night it was so good to really remember and reflect how much has happened in the last few years.   I still can't believe how much has changed for us since we moved.  We are definitely not the same people.

A quick review on Jen Wilkin's take on Leah.  She is one of the least talked about women in the Bible.  Her name means "wild cow", not the most beautiful meaning, unlike her sister, Rachel, whose name meant "ewe-lamb", much cuter.  She had some physical defect that made her much less desirable.  Her whole life she felt unloved, not enough, a burden.  Eventually, her Dad, Laban, tricks Jacob into marrying her, thinking he's getting Rachel, but she knew he still loved Rachel more.  She starts to figure that if she has children he will love her and the Bible even records her thoughts, "This time he will love me because I've given him a son."  But he doesn't.  Six times this happens, six sons, but still no love.  She actually goes to the grave rejected.  When you get to the end of her story, you think, "It can't end this way!  Why would God include such an awful story!?"  You can only feel sorry for this poor woman.  Even as Jen recalled her story, I remember putting myself in Leah's position thinking, "What if that had been me?  That would have been so awful!"  You can feel her pain and rejection jumping off the pages of the Bible.

But then Jen pointed out the amazing part of the story that can get missed in the first reading.  Yes, Leah felt rejected and refused, but in fact she was chosen.  God had chosen Leah to be the mother of Judah , from the line of the Messiah Himself.  She didn't know!  Jen said, "If I could have gone and told her something, I would have said, 'You don't need Jacob's approval!  Don't worry about being rejected by man!'"  But we know the end of her story, she didn't.  That is why it is included in the Bible, so that if we find ourselves as a woman who is rejected or not accepted or if the world says, "You are not enough" (because often that is true), we have to know we aren't enough, but we don't have to be!  Jesus Christ is enough.  We don't need acceptance from others.  We can rejoice that we are accepted by God.

All along Leah's life had purpose, but she didn't know it.  She was birthing the line of Judah.  It is so sad to think she went to the grave not knowing that.  We all want that Disney plot resolution.  We want our stories to end happy.  But they just don't sometimes, yet perhaps the awful life lessons we go through are not just for us, but for our future generations....many generations later.  I'm really grateful for Leah's sad story as I know so many who are in sad situations.  I can share her story and encourage them to know, even if in this lifetime things don't go so well for you there is hope.  We don't need man's acceptance, only God's, which He freely gives.  The Bible really reflects true life where there is very rarely happy plot resolution.  Instead, the Bible shows that life can be hard, sad, lonely, even depressing.  Yet the Bible doesn't leave us there.  It offers hope....if we read the whole story!

Poor Leah, I wish I could talk to her now.  Her story has helped me so much to think now about every hard thing I'm in or that my friend's are in, "This isn't the end of the story.  God has a purpose much greater than I will ever know in my lifetime."  Then, I can relax and stop trying to have "six sons" to achieve acceptance by man or God.  I am accepted and loved already.



Wednesday 15 June 2016

Sarah - From Faithless to Faithful

Life continues to be full.  RM made it back from his trip, the kids and I kept super busy, the weekend came and went and then we went full on into haying.  The summer just brings lots of things to do, but we like it this way.

A quick recap on the women's weekend.  Jen Wilkin spoke on 3 different women in the Bible, Sarah, Leah, and Rahab.  She gave such an interesting new perspective on each one through her own personal study.

This was something I didn't know about Sarah, she got more space in Scripture than even Mary - 12 chapters in Genesis and then even in the New Testament.  She referred to one of my favourite verses in 1 Peter 3:4-6, but especially verse 6, "...as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.  And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."  I am a daughter of Sarah.  It's the law - I'm not allowed to be afraid of ANYTHING that is frightening.  Everything is frightening if you think about it!  We can sit here all day and just think of all the things that could happen to us, to our kids, to our husbands, but we can't do that.  We are daughters of Sarah!  That was one of the key verses that got me on my path to being free from fear.

Earlier on in the verses, Sarah is described as one of the "holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves" with a "meek and quiet spirit".  But Jen took us back to Genesis and the whole way through she is not meek and quiet.  Beautiful, yes, but not meek and quiet.  She gets herself into a lot of hot water actually as she finds out about the promise of a child, but then as the years go by and no promised child appears, she starts to take matters into her own hands, giving her servant to Abraham, then treating the servant badly....she went on and on being a very unkind woman, even using physical force, indicating how bitter she was, hardly meek and quiet.

Eventually she does find out that she will have a child within the year and she gets caught laughing, which she denied.  But miracle of all miracles, she does have a baby and life comes out of a dead womb.   After this point in Scripture, you don't hear about her anymore until the New Testament.  We see no proof of this meek and quiet spirit that is talked about in 1 Peter, so when did that happen? When did the shift take place?  How did she go from being a very bitter, harsh woman to one famous for not being afraid of anything or of being this meek and quiet-spirited woman?

Abraham, too.  He was also looking for Plan B.   He gladly took Hagar in order to have a child - he figured he would have to help God out, just like Sarah thought. Yet Abraham is also remembered in the New Testament for his faith, "being credited it to him as righteousness".  Yet he also had no faith, at least not in the early part of Genesis.  He kept making plans that would get himself out of trouble. Plans that God had not told him to do, like getting Sarah to lie and say she was his sister.  It caused even more problems for them.  But then,  God asks Abraham to offer his son, Isaac, on the altar and he willingly obeys, going right to the point of lifting the knife above his head to slay him.  When did Abraham's shift come?  Though there is no record of Sarah's side of that story, we read that Abraham no longer questioned God or looked for Plan B.  He had come to believe God's way was the best way. How and when?!

Jen's thoughts, and I fully agree with her......the day of the shift for both of them?  The day of Isaac's birth.  Where?  In the tent. Why is that so clearly the answer?  Because on that day, God brought life from death.  Abraham and Sarah are literally described in the Bible "as good as dead", past childbearing years.  And not just past a little bit, but nearly dead!!!!  I've said this before, but God does that so it is CLEARLY a miracle.  If she had never had children, but had still been in her 30s or 40s when Isaac was born, people would have still said, "Wow, that's great," but would never have given God the credit.  When you are 90 years old, then it is more obvious - God did this.

When God does a miracle, it changes you.  I've been changed.  I've seen miracles.  It created a confidence for Sarah and Abraham that gave them the reputation they have in the New Testament. They could be told, "Go and sacrifice your only son" and be ok with it.  They had seen God perform a miracle by bringing life to a dead womb and they knew if God wanted them to sacrifice Isaac, then He could resurrect him.  He had brought death to life before, He could do it again.  We shouldn't need these miracles, but they are given to us by God to give us faith.  That is why she was no longer afraid and that is a big part of the reason why my fears are gone.  Satan still sneaks in on me to try to get me fearful, but all I have to do is recall His faithfulness and the miracles I've seen and then the fear disappears.  Everytime something came up in Sarah's life after that moment that could have possible challenged her faith, she must have just thought, "No worries, God can handle this.  He brought life to my dead womb.  I will never forget what He's done for me."  Thus, she became a woman known for her meek and quiet spirit and full of faith, not fear.

The really great side of the story which can easily be missed is how long it took for her miracle to happen - 25 years!!!!  We're in the middle of trying to finish this debt thing once and for all.  I had really hoped it would have happened in the short time frame of 1-3 years.  To think I might need to wait 20 plus more years is DEFINITELY not my timeline!  I keep thinking, "Plan B, Plan B......surely there's a way to find a Plan B and help God out a bit...."  But no, I need to remember there is only Plan A, God's plan.  As soon as I start making another way (let's say robbing a bank!), then I immediately step out of God's will.  I must remember how God has been faithful all along the way. I've never received a promise, per se, that guarantees we'll get out of debt 100% in my lifetime, but I cling to the passages that speak about debt being bondage and the borrower being "slave to the lender", so I know I must keep a Biblical perspective on debt.  That is what keeps us going.  It may just take 25 years sadly, but that was Jen's encouragement, we need to remember we don't live in a Disney movie where the plot line always resolves at the end!  Sometimes the plot line doesn't resolve.....that isn't what we want to hear.

She also reminded us of Abraham's name and its meaning, "A father of many" and then "a father of a multitude", yet he died with only 1 son (with Sarah), Isaac.  His plot didn't end with him seeing what God had promised.  That must have been so frustrating!  Yet, years later, we are all called children of Abraham, those who call themselves believers.  There are millions of us, definitely a multitude.  I have to believe that there will be plot resolution for me, but perhaps not in my lifetime.  I have to trust God that my children won't fall into the debt trap or my grandchildren, even if I don't see that.

The ultimate plot resolution is when Christ returns.  And the other miracle that I must cling to the most is that He has brought life where there was death when I was saved, when my heart was changed.  This is also what must keep me full of faith, not of fear.

So that was Sarah, a woman who went from being hardly meek and quiet, hardly a woman of faith, but instead of fear to being known as one of the holy women, full of faith, a meek and quiet spirit and not afraid of anything that is frightening.   All because of a baby born in a tent when she was 90. Yeah, that would do it.

I continue to ask God for miracles, to keep my faith strong, to remind me of the miracles that have already happened, but then I also thank Him for the ultimate miracle of His Son being resurrected changing my life.  My bank account might not be fully alive, yet, but I am!

Thursday 9 June 2016

Making Known His Deeds

I read today that we are to "make known his deeds among the peoples", and we've had a few "deeds" this week!

I never enjoy when my husband is gone for a day let alone a week, so I was not looking forward to him being gone so long, but I resolved to not dread and committed my week to the Lord, planned a few things to do and the week has flown by without too much lovesickness.

It began with an angelic visit on Monday with my grocery angel.  Mom stopped in and we had a great catch up and one of the things that she has done for years is to always bring along just what we need grocery-wise.  She's gotten to know all the kids favourite things and she never disappoints....they love discovering all the little treats that are snuck in between the healthy food.

The next day was followed by a visit with a new friend and her family.  Very fun and I thought that would be it for the day, but then my sister made an impromptu visit that afternoon.  She walked in and usually I offer her a coffee or tea.  Suddenly her eyes lit up and right around the same time, we both looked at each other with mischievous eyes, "Wanna go out?!"  The beauty of having older children around kicked in.  We literally ran into the other room and said to my older kids, "Uh, we're taking off for a bit....watch the kids."  WHAT?!  This couldn't be happening.  So off we went down the street where a lovely winery just happens to be situated.  Now, truth be known, my poor sister did need to do a little gift shopping, so we really needed to get out.....that helped us with our justification anyway......

After we finished our shopping, we thought, we can't go home yet!  So I suggested I show her around the block, where it just so happens, more wineries exist....It is such a beautiful location, view of the lake, vineyards....it was a breezy sunny day.  How could we resist????  We were enjoying ourselves so much and we were less than 5 minutes away from my house.  We'd never done anything like this before, so fun!  We stopped and had a lovely beverage on the patio, talked our faces off, and then sadly, did go home, but not without taking a photo to send to our other sister telling her how much we missed her and wished she were there!!!!  Our kids looked at us when we got home and wondered what in the world we were up to.  We always tell them they can do that when they are in their 40s.

The next day was Wednesday.   I enjoyed another visit with my prayer partner (I'm sure those prayers we pray are what get us through our weeks!)  The afternoon brought a sense of half-dread and curiosity.  A trip to the dentist.  We were in the transition stage of switching dentists from our dentist far away to one more local.  I interviewed many dentists in the last year trying to find one that would take pity on our large family and would be somehow willing to give a discount (as if that exists).  In the course of the year, I met a dentist that actually did offer discounts for those without insurance.  He apparently has many clients with large families and he understands the extra costs that come with our family size.  I sensed, "This is the guy for us."

Yesterday I was taking my two youngest, for the first time, who have had teeth injuries due to falls, one at 12 months old and one a couple of weeks ago.  We've had so many expenses lately in life, that dentistry was looooow on the list of priorities.  So I have been encouraging the kids for years now to do awesome cleanings on their own.  The dentist was so impressed with how clean their teeth were that he couldn't bring himself to charge us full price for the cleanings!!!!  Who does that!?  He took an additional discount off for our our large family and I walked away amazed at what our bill was compared to our last dentist.  Oh how I wish I had changed years ago!!!!

The dentist was fascinated by our story on top of it all and wondered all about us.  I got interviewed in the process, too.   I wouldn't be surprised if we become friends and end up doing barbecues!  One of the greatest comments he made was about our two little boys.  All homeschoolers are accused of not socializing their children, how we shelter and isolate them.  He didn't know we homeschooled and one of the first things he said, which I should have had him write down, was, "Your kids seem highly social"!!!!!!!!  The ultimate compliment for a homeschooler.  He got quite a kick out of their personalities.

Meanwhile, my husband and I were chatting throughout the week and he shared with me about the unexpected blessing on his trip of not having to pay any additional money for food.  Somehow, without knowing it, he had found a hotel that wasn't too expensive, but it included every single meal, even a couple of glasses of wine.  He had budgeted a fair amount for meals and then didn't have to spend anything!  That was a huge blessing on top of it all.

Today my kids will spend the day prepping for what is called "Showcase" where they will display their year's top projects, art, writing, etc.   The older kids will sing a worship song together as their "talent".  It should be another great day.

The week will be topped off by a ladies retreat where I will get to hear a very gifted speaker, Jen Wilkin, who wrote Women of the Word.  I've studied her book and look so forward to hearing her. The blessing here is that this was a gift to me.  I never would have been able to go, but a very kind and generous friend said, "Hey, I want you to be there.  I'm paying."  Do you see what I mean?  The deeds of the Lord - I just keep seeing His tremendous blessings in my life.  They truly are "wondrous works", "His miracles", "marvelous works".   1 Chronicles 16 has these phrases written down.  I am to "sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works!"  I am also to "Remember the wondrous works that He has done, His miracles and the judgments He uttered."

Later in the chapter, David says, "Sing to the Lord, all the earth!  Tell of His salvation from day to day."  That is why I had to write it down.  I experienced His salvation this week, from day to day. Every day, He showed me Himself through blessings like special visitors, unexpected financial gifts, lower bills than anticipated, new friendships, sister fellowship, beautiful sunshine, new dentist relationships, even my husband was amazed at how he was blessed through his hotel!  I know rain can be a blessing, too, but this week was sunshine.  I am grateful.

Tuesday 7 June 2016

If I Can????

Thinking more about my daughter's windfall of money at the lemonade stand, I've begun to wonder if it was a reminder to me that when you are aware about the dangers of debt, even if it was only a $5 debt (or less) and you decide in your heart that you want to clear that debt and that you'll do whatever it takes to do that, God then honours that desire and miracles happen.  She really didn't have a hope of making much money that day.  We had set up the lemonade stand very late in the day.  I even told her (bad mommy) that she probably wouldn't sell much as our road was under construction and the usual cyclists weren't coming like they did the summer before.  But she was determined.  Not only did she make $42 and cleared all her debt and then some, but she was able to be generous to others.  She could never have foreseen that coming, but she was faithful and God took care of the rest.  I am definitely taking this miracle to heart as a reminder to me that I just have to be faithful.  I see no way to clear any debt anytime soon, but when God is involved.....miracles happen.

We were reminded on Sunday by a visiting missionary about faith.  Faith dissolves doubts.  Faith disperses fear.  Faith overcomes the world.  Faith dissolves defeat.  It was an amazing message. One verse stuck out at me, Mark 9:23.  Jesus was talking with the father of the boy who was possessed by an evil spirit.  The man told Jesus, "But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."  Jesus said to him, "'If you can!'  All things are possible for one who believes."  Jesus must have been flabbergasted....."If I can?!  If I CAN?????  Of course I can!!!!  Don't you know who I am????"  But that is sometimes how I pray, "Lord, if you can, please help us clear our debt....."  "If I CAN????"  he must say to me.  "Of course I can!"  Once the father hears Jesus respond that way, he cried out, "I believe; help my unbelief!"  Isn't that exactly what we feel most of the time?  "I DO BELIEVE!  HELP ME WITH MY UNBELIEF!"  I want so badly to believe He can help me, yet it seems crazy to think He can help me!  AAAHHH!!  Being a Christian is so hard sometimes.  I feel like a walking contradiction!  

But I'm encouraged by the story of this father who was so honest.  He believed Jesus could help him, but he fought with his humanity that said, no, there's no way.  Despite his weak faith, Jesus did help him.  He can help us, too.

This week, my husband has taken a risk and gone down to the U.S. to meet with some other people, get some training, and basically try to sell his product.  In a lot of ways it made no sense to go as there was an investment of time and money to get there, yet he felt very directed to go.  We are trusting the Lord to "enlarge his territory" and to bless this venture.  We are on our own for just short of a week and praying every day that God will make a way, that He will continue to direct our paths, provide for our family, and perhaps along the way answer our prayer for freedom.

As I pray for these things, I sound like the father, "But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."  "'If I can!'  All things are possible for one who believes!" is the response I hear.


Monday 6 June 2016

Strange Lemonade Stand Visitors and a Unique Meeting

A couple of funny stories to share over the past weekend....

Story 1

On Saturday, my daughter took matters into her own hands and decided to raise funds for a library fine she had.  I didn't even realize she had this debt as it was on her own card.  Ok, good for her, I thought.  So she figured a fast and easy way was selling lemonade.  We have a busy touristy location as wineries are on either end of our road so we get lots of fancy cars as well as cyclists going by all summer.

As the afternoon went on, we added eggs to our selling features and then even candle holders my son had made.  She made $12 in a couple of hours so she raised the money to pay the fine.  We weren't expecting more than that with the juice costing only 50 cents a cup!  Then, a neighbor drove by.  He had to stop, he said, because he used to sell lemonade when he was a kid and he wanted to support anyone doing the same.  After he left he said he would tell others.  I mentioned it was all in the name of paying a library fine.  He laughed.

Around 4:30, the traffic was dying down, so she closed up shop.  Around 15 min. later, I noticed 2 vehicles pull up in front of our house.  I ran outside to see if they were looking for eggs as we still had the sign up.  Suddenly a bunch of very happy women piled out of the cars, pulling out their wallets and with their slurred speech started saying, "No....we don't want lemonade.  We don't want anything.  We just want to help pay the little girl's library fine!"  Turns out these women had run into our neighbor at the winery (they had clearly had more than one wine tasting!).   He had told them about our little booth at the side of the road and they were going to come and help our daughter out whether we had lemonade or not!

I called for my daughter to come back out with the lemonade and eggs, which she did, but they would not take it, although a few took some eggs.  Instead, they just started handing out money into her hands!  It was the most bizarre thing to watch!  I can only think they were more than just a "little happy"!  I tried to get them to take something in return which was why some ended up taking the eggs.  Free money was just not something I was used to!

After they took off, we decided we would definitely be running a lemonade stand next weekend!  We went in and counted the money - $30!!!!!  That was nuts!  My daughter had a kind heart and she divided it up evenly between her younger siblings as they had been out by the side of the road with her most of the afternoon.  What a crazy way to raise, or should I say, more than raise, money for a little library fine! 

Story 2

The next day at church, we heard a visiting family play their violins and classical guitar as a prelude before the service.  When they were introduced as being from South Carolina and I noticed that they had 6 kids all sitting in a row in front of us, I knew I would have to meet them after the service.  Sure enough, they were homeschoolers, visiting their grandma, here in town.  We connected really well and even exchanged information if we were ever in South Carolina.  At the very end of our talk, the mom wanted me to meet her mom (the grandma) as she was a new believer attending our church on her own each week.  The mom of 6 had told me that her mom was living on the street where we had built 6 years ago.  What a coincidence, I thought.

When she saw me, she immediately seemed to recognize me and I her.  She said, "I stopped you one day and asked you why your kids weren't in school." (This was when I was still living in the house we were building)  Suddenly I had a major flashback.  I remembered that one day when we were still living on that street I had taken all 7 kids for a walk (#8 hadn't been born yet).  We had passed her house and I had been stopped by her, when she had asked me that question about not having them in school.  It led us to the fact I homeschooled.  She then told me she had a daughter who homeschooled in South Carolina.  I said, "Really?  I'd love to meet her!  If she ever comes up, please introduce me!"   Little did I know I already had, minutes earlier....so funny!

Well, of course, I never met her as we moved away to the farm.  Then, yesterday, there she was, without me even knowing it, all those years later!  I had met her without ever realizing this was the mom I had wanted to meet that day on the walk.  It was definitely a unique meeting.  I'm convinced we were supposed to meet as her mom attends our church, without her husband as he is not saved...yet...and that it was yet another confirmation we are at the right church at the right time.  We can now provide fellowship and encouragement for this lonely new believer.  My new friend can now feel assured that her mom has someone watching out for her.  Only God could have orchestrated that.

This is a very quick little post....that's all for now!

Friday 3 June 2016

My Mini Roommates

For a few months now we've shuffled our kids around to different bedrooms trying to find the right fit as each one is clearly growing up and their sleeping quarters were getting a little squishy.  We wanted to give my oldest daughter a little more space as she was needing to study for her upcoming piano exams and there was no peace with 3 girls crammed into a little bedroom that fit only 2 single beds. 

We had finished a space a couple years ago that used to be our garage and turned it into a living space/piano room/mudroom with a loft above it for eventual sleeping space for a couple of kids, but we were stuck on how to get kids up and down to the loft safely.  It was a very small space and regular things like ladders or a staircase just wouldn't work, so it went on pause for a long time while we figured out what to do.

Meanwhile, we couldn't wait anymore.  My daughters weren't getting good sleeps as two girls, no matter how small, were kicking each other all night in their tiny single bed or pushing one another off the bed, not to mention talking in their sleep, which kept the other ones awake.  What to do?

One day I mentioned this to a friend and she said, "I have an extra bed frame we're not using, you can have it!"  Thank you so much!!!!!  We didn't have the exact right mattress, but oh well, by this point my daughter was willing to sleep on nails.  Anything was better than what was currently going on.  The only problem was, there were two little boys in the room she wanted.  So she evicted them with no warning which I am sure was against all landlord/tenant acts.

Out on the streets of our little town, I had pity on them and took them in, little crib mattresses and all.  One of them had been sleeping in a toddler bed (though he was 5!) and the other was still in a crib (though he was nearly 4!), but they loved their little beds.  Oh well, down they went.  Disassembled in minutes and off to the storage room.  So much for reminiscing about last babies.....

My room was the only place they could go, so for the last few months, the two homeless boys have slept on the floor on their little mattresses, one on RM's side and one on mine.  We've actually loved our mini roommates so much.  We love hearing them snore.  We love hearing them yell at each other in the middle of the night IN THEIR SLEEP!  The other night one of them warned the other one about a pig in his dream, very funny.  "PIG!"  He yelled out.  I smiled.  I know when they turn over.  I know when they have to go pee.  I know when they need a drink.  It's going to be a sweet memory for me actually.

However, they will need to move out eventually!  We needed another push to get that loft room done.

Recently, my other son who sleeps across the hall with his older brothers also came in complaining about how bad a sleep he was getting, too.  The big brother across the room snores big time.  This was the push we needed.  We want our children to have good sleeps!  But we couldn't just evict another sibling to the streets without a place for them to go, so RM stepped up his research and found the perfect thing to finish the loft - a spiral staircase that was adjustable to any size of room for a reasonable price.

We picked it up last week and he installed it right away.  Perfect. Now we just needed a rail that would run along the open space above our piano so no one would roll off while they were sleeping.  I thought maybe he would custom make something from wood lying around the farm, but we decided to go all "farmy".  He went off to the local Tractor Supply store and came home with this awesome gate meant for farm animals!!!  It was so cheap (because he didn't get it in a decorator's supply store!) and it fits perfectly!  He'll finish installing that today and then.....a whole new room for our older boys.  It has to be the cheapest addition I've ever heard of and fast.

The big boys will move into the loft room as soon as tonight and the little boys will then "move out", I'm assuming as well,  but thankfully it is just across the hall, so I'll still see them!  They'll officially have bunk beds and enough space to make sure they all get the good sleeps they need.  After that, no more moving around.  Everyone will have a bed, a space they can call their own, and I will get my bedroom back, though I will miss my roommates.  One of these days I'll have to take more pictures to show what it looks like - sorry, a pretty boring blog without pictures......