Wednesday 31 December 2014

Hunting Stories, Unexpected Blessings and 2015

Last day of 2014.  A great year for sure.  Only a few hours left!

These last few days I've been able to finish a couple books I hoped to get through over the holidays.  I finished the book Reckless Abandon by David Sitton and then a book given to us by my parents written by a doctor we knew personally when my parents lived in Zambia, Dr. Foulkes, called Hunting Stories.  That was a fantastic read.

Dr. Foulkes lived and worked in Zambia for 38 years.  Not only was he the doctor for the hospital, but he supplied all the meat for the hospital as well which required hunting every so often for big game.  My dad was honoured to be in one of the chapters as he was also a hunter when he lived there. My poor sister can't get through the book as there are tales of animals getting hurt, but alas, it was not written for the faint of heart/animal lovers like herself!  Sorry sis!

My boys and I couldn't put it down.  I was born in Zambia while my parents were there on a short-term mission trip.  They tithed 10% of their lives when they were 30 and that worked out to 3 years! I went back in my early twenties.  I wanted to see this place my parents had talked about for so long.  I wanted to see where I was born.

It was amazing.  One of my first steps onto Zambian soil was in the dark.  All I could see were stars, so close I thought I could reach out and touch them.  I remember saying, "So that's what parents meant......"  They used to talk about the African sky like it was a different kind of sky.  I never knew what they meant until I saw it myself.  It is something to behold.  Bright lights, so bright that you would think they weren't real stars, but just flashlights at your fingertips.  It was incredible.

I remember driving down the road in the back seat of a huge "lorry" or truck.  I was cramped and could barely move.  I was so sure I would see a lion jump out at every corner.  We did see a rabbit or some small animal jump in front of the truck.  They immediately stopped the truck, sure they had hit it.  I'm thinking, "Let's keep going!  I'm a little cramped for space here!"  But to them, it was a meal they weren't going to miss...mmmmm....roadkill....not my first choice for dinner!

The rest of the summer I spent teaching at the girls secondary school, teaching English Literature and Home Ec.  I got to meet so many wonderful Zambian girls.   The missionaries were wonderful, too. Many of them were mentioned in Dr. Foulkes' book.  I loved that I could still picture them all and remember different things about each one.

I had already read his autobiography a few years back.  He didn't restate a lot of the details of his family life in his hunting stories, but I knew this man lived with "reckless abandon".  He lost a wife and two children in Africa.  Many missionaries did.  David Sitton reminded me of that in his book, too, when he spoke of John Paton (our youngest son is named after him).  He lost a wife and 5 children overseas.  What a cost.  Too much to imagine really.

Dr. Foulkes is still alive and living in the U.S., taking the time to write his memories on paper while he can.  I'm so glad he did.  I'm so glad I knew him and met him.  I'm so glad he and my dad didn't get killed in their incredible hunting adventures!  I'm not sure I would be here today!  Knowing Dr. Foulkes was, again, like meeting Jim Elliot and Nate Saint, in person.  I think the reason I love reading these stories is because they inspire me to live with the same reckless abandonment that they did.  I'm still not sure I would be willing to lose my husband or any of my children.  One of the missionaries we knew lost their son, a 16 year old boy, to a croc, in front of his dad.  I can't even imagine losing my 16 year to anything, let alone a crocodile!

Reading his stories made my son want to go to Africa.  I, uh, kind of discouraged it!  But, if he is supposed to go, I must let him.  I have to do what all the missionaries did - lay my children in God's hands as they really belong to Him anyway.

Our year ended with more unexpected blessing.  I reflect on when we gave a few weeks ago, not really feeling like we could give, how God has taken that and returned it to us a least five-fold.  We got unexpected gift after gift.  We certainly never gave thinking that would happen, but we did try to seriously take God at His Word.  Boy, has He ever proved faithful, more than we ever expected. From cheques in the mail, to unexpected orders for my husband, to more unexpected cheques, to unusual hay orders on the last day of the year at fantastic rates.....the list goes on and on.....God is good, so good.

Tonight we'll have a special time of reflecting.  We always look back over the year.  We look at each month.  We talk about milestones for each child.  We remember, we thank God, we pray.  Then we look ahead.  We'll write down goals, dreams, crazy hopes.  Then we'll eat or play or talk some more or put some little people to bed!  Then....as much as I want to go to bed, we'll stay up.....my older kids love staying up right until midnight...awful.  But friends will come over at 9 and make sure that happens....what was I thinking?  I've created party animals.

Happy New Year!  I'm looking forward to seeing how God continues to work......

Sunday 28 December 2014

A New Grocery Budget = Financial Gymastics

Be careful what you ask for.  What did I ask for?  A budget.  A grocery budget, to be specific.  We had always had one, but when I asked for a somewhat updated one, I regretted asking!

I was looking for the lazy man's budget, where you look at what you've spent in the past and then just either tried to stay at that same level or better it by a few dollars each month either through sales or flyers or just eating less expensively.  My husband challenged me to do a real budget where I actually tracked what each meal cost, where I actually wrote down how many pounds of butter I used each month, etc.  He wanted to know how many loaves of bread we went through, how many liters of milk, etc.  I couldn't tell him exactly.  I knew only generally.  He wanted to know how it's possible to make a budget if you don't know those things.  He and I discovered, sadly, I'm budget-illiterate.

I'm sure most moms out there know that stuff, but I really didn't.  Actually I do know people who know those things, but they are my accounting friends.  I remember seeing their spreadsheet one day. They knew how many dollars they spent on diapers each month, each year.  I couldn't say for myself. I remember being in awe and thinking, "I should probably know that", but then I went home and didn't exactly follow through.  My mind doesn't like to think about that.  It meant entering every receipt and everything on that receipt, in order to track all the spending.  Again, someone out there might shake their head...perhaps I'm the only one who doesn't do that.

I couldn't get my head around it for the longest time.  My husband was in shock as he has to itemize all of his spending for every project he does.  How else would he know what to order or how much he's made on each project, etc., etc..  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know, I know.  But can't I just spend what I want to spend when I want to spend it?  I thought as long as I was using the flyer/savings techniques I'd recently acquired, wasn't that good enough?  Sure, he said, if you don't want to get out of debt and if you don't care where each dollar goes.  I care, I care!

So, he called me out on the very thing I was asking for.  I was asking for a budget.  I was asking to do whatever it took to get out of debt.  I was asking where every dollar went.  He showed me what I needed to do in order to get all of those things done and guess what....I didn't want to do it.  I was so overwhelmed by the task ahead of me.  I simply didn't know where to start.  He was in shock at my response!  I kind of was, too!

The only way to describe it is I just haven't ever thought that way.  He quickly showed me all his spreadsheets and how simple it was.  I still couldn't picture it.  All the receipts, all the entering of every item, all the formulas, unit pricing, dollar per meal....arrrrgggghh!!!!!!!  Too much for my non-mathematical mind to handle.  I felt like exploding groceretically!!  New word.  It means "too overwhelmed to figure out the grocery budget".  My husband could see I was self-destructing and calmly said, "I'll do it for you, don't worry!"  No, no, no.  There was no way I was going to have him do it.

Here I was writing almost daily about debt, budgets, financial goals, etc., and here I was being challenged to do the very thing I was trying live out....I knew it was just another step I had to take in our debt challenge, but seriously, I think it's been one of the toughest challenges for me personally. I'll call it the debt-sanctification process.  I tried to explain it to my mathematical husband who honestly couldn't figure out my problem.  I said, "It's as if I don't know how to read.   You tell me it's easy to learn, but when you don't know how to read, at first it seems like you'll never be able to learn. That's how I feel."  The truth is I'm just lazy and I don't feel like doing all that's he's suggesting I do. I think once I start I will discover that it isn't that hard to track, especially if I use a spreadsheet system. It's just a matter of a new habit I need to create.  When I go to the grocery store, I'll unpack the groceries and then I'll go upstairs and enter it all in.  Seems simple enough, except that I have to do it for a whole year!

My grocery self-destruction moment only lasted for a few minutes.  After I took a shower and picked up all the pieces of me off the floor, I was fine.  RM was a little worried about me for a bit there!  I assured him I could do it.  I'll keep better track.  I can't have him do it as then my girls will never learn.  In fact, I might even have them help me with all the data entry as it'll be a great pattern for them to learn.  I don't want them to be overwhelmed by budgets, by numbers.  I want it to be as natural to them as breathing.  It just isn't easy for me.  That's perhaps why I relate so well to my son who struggles in math.  He can write poetry!  He's amazing with words.  Get him to do some mental math and he almost self-destructs, too.

"In some ways it seems pointless.  We should have been doing this a long time ago," I told my husband. But he reminded me, "Yes, we should have, but it's not too late."  It some ways, it won't necessarily change our budget dramatically as we'll still need to eat, but in other ways, it'll be very helpful, very revealing of areas where we could make serious improvements.  If I find out that we go through 6 jars of honey a year, then when I see a major sale on honey, I'll buy all 6 then and there knowing I've bought what we need for the whole year at a great savings.  I'll also know, once we are through the 6 jars, then that's it.  Anyway, I get how this is important.  I'm going to do my best to be the best budget-conscious mom there is!  I can only figure I need to be able to explain this to my kids, so it's always good to have to learn it first myself.

I did a quick tally on our meal last night.  It was very interesting.  I'm using estimates, but this is what we ate and what it cost:

Salmon Fettuccine:

$6 (I used 2 cans of salmon...way cheaper)
$1 bag of noodles
$1 fresh dill
garlic
butter
onion
parmesan cheese (those last four items are hard to itemize for one meal....that's where it'll be helpful to keep track, to see how much I actually go through in a year)
milk/cream in sauce
$2 lettuce
salad dressing

Total - $10 plus all the incidental ingredients.  Not a super expensive meal.  I got some of those ingredients from a while back when we got the grocery delivery/gift, so it didn't cost us too much at all.

That in itself was an interesting exercise.  Our lunch meal was $23 because I splurged and got prime rib for Christmas Day.  It was on a great sale, but still expensive.   I got two roasts.  We had the second one yesterday as leftovers - super expensive leftovers!

So, I can see why this is important to do.  I will do it.  I'll learn "to read".  It's not too late to be a better budgeter.  At this point in the debt-reduction game, I'm willing to do whatever it takes, even if it means making my mind get stretched in a new direction.  That's what it's going to be for me - financial gymnastics!  I have sore muscles just thinking about it!



Friday 26 December 2014

Recklessly Abandoned...It's a Win-Win....

I'm up early today.  I've been giving myself a few sleep-in days which has been so nice as we've had a lot of late nights and we are not late night people.  I tried to sleep-in again today, but no, I had several visitors into my room last night with bad dreams or feeling scared or waking up cold, so I finally stopped fighting it and woke up.  Now I'm holding a toddler on my lap who feels feverish and typing at the same time.  This time of year seems to bring on the viruses.  I can only pray that it won't sweep through the whole house.

It was a wonderful day again yesterday, just like last year.  I was amazed at how everyone woke up so late, as we'd had super late nights nearly three nights in a row.  My daughter had made cinnamon buns so we had that for breakfast.  Then we opened the surprise tickets to the show we'll be going to today.  They were super excited as they weren't expecting that.  I reminded my son how he'd made that comment a while back about taking the magic out of Christmas with less gifts now, but I pointed out to him, "Look at the younger four children.  They came downstairs today and all they said was, 'Merry Christmas, Mom!'  They didn't run around wondering where the pile of gifts were.  This is all they will ever know and they are completely ok with that!"  I went on to explain how so often, no matter what we spend, even if we buy the perfect gifts that everyone wanted, when all is said and done, there's always a little point in the morning where a dissastisfaction seems to settle in, "Is that it?  Isn't there more?"  We don't have to worry about that anymore as things never truly satisfy.  He agreed with everything I said and told me many times throughout the day what a wonderful Christmas he had had.  He hadn't been showered with gifts, per se, but he saw how many blessings we'd had come our way this year.  I thanked all of them again for how they are changing the generations to come.  I thanked them for helping me have a much more peaceful season.

We enjoyed so many wonderful fun things again that didn't cost money this year.  We got together with friends this past week and enjoyed a variety of soups one of the moms made.  Later that night the kids all got out their instruments and we sat around the piano and sang led by the kids!  It was really beautiful.  Tonight, after the show, we'll go to another friends' house and the plan is to be there until midnight if my kids get their way!  They said it'll be a perfect day to spend it like that, up late with friends, after a fun show in Toronto.

Earlier on in the week I delivered cake pops to our neighbours.  I've done something like that every year.  At first I did it just to meet people, but I've kept up the tradition despite the fact it seems like so much work!  I don't always take the time to knock on their doors now.  I'll leave it in their mailboxes if I don't see them home.  This year was different though.  Ever since those push-you-out-of-your-comfort-zone street preachers came and ever since my daughter started leaving tracts wherever she goes, she said matter-of-factly, "Why don't you include a tract with your card this year, Mom?" "Uh......perhaps?"  What I was thinking in my head was, "Cake pops are good enough.  That shows I'm a Christian.  There is no need to put my neck on the line and be some crazy tract-leavin' neighbour."

I called my husband to see what he thought.  He was with me.  Good, whew.  Didn't need to do it. But, of course, my conscience got the better of me within seconds.  I started to think about all that had been going on my head recently.  The pastor did his talk last Sunday on Joseph and how once he was told in a dream to take Mary as his wife, he just woke up and that's what he did!  No doubts, no wondering if it was all in his head, he simply obeyed, despite all the opposition he no doubt experienced.  How could this be?  Because he recognized he heard the truth.  Once you know you've heard directly from God, there is no way you can question it.  There is no way you can be swayed even when it means putting your neck on the line.  Joseph knew he'd heard truth and he acted on it.  I also knew the truth.  I, too, needed to just act on it - obey.  But I really didn't want to!

Then the pastor read a passage from a book called Reckless Abandon by David Sitton.  This is the man who played a part in influencing those two young missionaries to go work in northern Ontario, the ones who came to our church a few weeks back.  David Sitton got the quote "recklessly abandoned" from Ed Scully, one of the "Ecuador Five" who died alongside Jim Elliot back in the 50s. He wrote how he wanted to be recklessly abandoned for God and that he was willing to give his life for even a handful of natives.  He did, only days after he wrote that.  I asked if I could borrow the book and have been reading it non-stop since Sunday.  Sitton asks, "Why aren't we willing to do that?"  It comes down to unfortunately not believing that Christ is worth it.  Those words started milling in my head after my daughter suggested I put in a tract with the cards.  Why was I afraid? Sitton came to the conclusion that it was a win-win, just like the apostle Paul.  If he died, yeah!  Then he was with Jesus in heaven. If he lived, bonus!  Then he could continue to share Christ longer on earth.

What was the worst thing that could happen to me?  My neighbours could kill me, but the likelihood of that was fairly slim, at least I thought so!  My neighbours could hate me, but the thought of that was also fairly slim.   They might think I'm weird or fanatical, but I could handle that.  I quickly called my husband back, "I'm going to do it.  Are you ok with that?  What's the worst thing that could happen to us?  Are you ok if they think we're weird?"  My husband was on board right away, "I can handle it, " he said.  It was decided.  I ended up including a tract, but I also wrote a note that was slightly different in each one, but said something like this, "I'm including a Christian tract this year that I hope will give you something to think about this season."  I signed all of our names and included the treats.  Since then, no one has egged our home.  No one has returned the cake pops. We'll see if anyone brings it up when we see them this year.

I'm not sure that anyone will come to Christ because of what I did.  I actually think it was more for my benefit to do something that was hard for me.  If I keep attempting things like this perhaps it will get easier and easier.  I think what finally pushed me over the edge was realizing I was saying to myself and my daughter, "Christ isn't worth it.  My comfort level is more important to me."  I knew that wasn't true, but that was what I would have been communicating.  My own parents did something similar when I was a kid in our neighbourhood.  They gave out Josh McDowell's book More Than a Carpenter, which has just been re-released and updated.  They gave a copy to each neighbour.  I remember thinking that was pretty bold even back then.  But nothing ever came of it that was negative.  If anything my parents always had a great relationship with all of our neighbours. They were one of the more respected couples on the block.  If that sticks out in my mind, maybe what I did will stick out in my kids' minds when they get older and perhaps they'll be willing to try something that requires boldness, too.

Perhaps that will be the theme this year - recklessly abandoned, but not just for the sake of it, for Christ's sake, for truth.  What's the worst thing that could happen to me?  It's a win-win, right?

Well, the little sickie is back in his crib.  I'm going to attempt making breakfast while everyone is still sleeping.

Tuesday 23 December 2014

Choosing Peace over Frenzy

Getting that unexpected gift of money was amazing.  I immediately came up with a quick little list of things I wanted to buy for my kids, but when I ran it all past RM, suddenly I realized....when?  how? It might have been possible if I'd started a while back, but how could I possibly get what I needed to get in such a short amount of time at the craziest time of year.  I realized that when we gave up buying presents, I had gained a tremendous amount of peace in my life at this time of year.  I was suddenly not feeling so peaceful.

One of the stresses was I was trying to keep this a secret.  In order to shop, someone was going to have to watch my kids.  What would be my excuse?  I was going to need a lot of time.  How would I explain that?  Finally, RM and I came to a conclusion.  We wouldn't go out to any stores - it would be nuts to think of shopping now.  We decided we'll still bless them, but we'll give them an "experience" instead that we wouldn't normally do, so we're going to head on in to Toronto for the day and we're going to take them to a neat show downtown.  Whew!  No more stress!  Tickets have been bought!

Knowing that was the decision we were going to make changed everything.  On Saturday, the busiest shopping day of the year, I was home helping my daughter set up for a little cookie exchange she had organized.  It was wonderful to be available to her knowing I didn't have to leave her at home to do it all herself alone while watching a houseful of children as well.  Once the girls arrived for the cookie exchange, I stayed in the kitchen decorating cookies with my younger children.  That was so fun, seeing them enjoy the whole experience so much.  If I had been gone shopping that day I would have missed out on that, too.  They would have been stuck in front of a video or watched by brothers who have such a hard time with them sometimes.  I would have been gone potentially for hours if I had bought all that I had planned initially.

The frenzy has permanently left our home.  Instead it has been replaced with peace - the true meaning of Christ coming.


Friday 19 December 2014

Close Calls, Garage Doors, and Little Girls

If you don't have a few downs, you don't appreciate the ups as much......

Now we don't have one vehicle to fix, but two.  I'm not even sure if it was exactly a year ago, but it was about a year ago or even less that RM was in a car accident.  He seems to be a magnet for them and quite serious ones at that.  Two days ago it happened again, same vehicle, same RM, and like I said, this one had the potential to be deadly again.  He definitely has a truck angel.

He was on the highway heading home.  He had debated staying overnight where he was working as it was a two hour drive home and he had to go back the next day, but he thought to himself, "No, I want to go home and see my family."  I told him later, I wish he had stayed there overnight!  But, can't look back.  Some young guy was getting on the highway, merging, at a very high speed.  He saw RM and tried to pass him on the right, in the merging lane, not smart.  Then, suddenly, he realized his short merging lane was coming to an end, but the problem was RM was still there!  He hadn't seen him trying to come up on the right as he came up so fast.  The guy decided, "Oh well, I'll just have to go in that lane anyway even though A CAR IS STILL THERE!!!"  He hit RM so hard from behind the RM didn't know what hit him.  All he could see was what looked like plastic and metal flying all around the back of his vehicle.  The fact he wasn't pushed into another lane, or hit by another car is mind-boggling.  The other guy must have been going well over 130 km an hour or even more.

He drove for about a km before he pulled over because he simply didn't know what had happened and it looked like whoever had hit him had taken off.  The truth is the other vehicle involved was totalled and had pulled over within seconds of the accident.  Once RM got his bearings and pulled over.  He called the police and within an hour or two he was back on his way home.  The back end of his vehicle needs some repairs, but it drove him home.  We're so glad he was in the truck as the weight of it probably saved his life.  We're so glad he was driving, not my new driving daughter.  We're so grateful he came home alive.

So one day brings tremendous joy and the next day brings hassles, or so it seems, but both days were days full of rejoicing as there was no funeral to attend this week.  It doesn't take much to put things in perspective.  Of course, now there is a lot of paperwork, getting the truck fixed, insurance, blah, blah, blah....but we don't mind as RM is alive.

Today, he'll take his broken truck and drive the two hours to pick up the cheque they owe him.  I said, "Why don't you ask them to courier it?"  He said he didn't trust them.  He figured they'd courier it and we still wouldn't see it for a week.  We need that cheque now.  Suppliers.  Funny how they want their money, too.

We are now praying for wisdom.  This tower order we got is great, but it's forcing us to make some decisions.  The towers require paint.  Paint needs heat to dry.  His shop has no heat.  The garage doors are so ancient that some of them don't even open and they certainly don't keep out the cold and in fact, they let in snow!  Last year, we painted the towers indoors, in my HOUSE, if you recall......not the best place to paint with 8 kids running around.  I had paint stains, and still do, in all sorts of random spots throughout the house.

RM would love to order new garage doors.  He priced them out and they are very expensive.  He could easily justify the cost because he'll make a good profit on these towers, so they'll pay for themselves, but at the same time, he and I both feel it is just too expensive, perhaps there is another way to get the paint to dry - buy more heaters for the shop or something like that.  So far it hasn't been an awful winter - PRAISE GOD!!!!  It's a major quandry.

I asked the kids to pray really specifically yesterday about this - we need wisdom.  One of the ways we asked God to show us what to do was to give us another order that would specifically cover the cost of the new doors.  RM then called everyone who was potentially going to order other towers and none of them said, "Yes, for sure, orders are coming."  They just responded, "Perhaps, we'll see...." So that didn't give us the exact answer we were hoping for.  I think for now we feel we should wait, not be impulsive.  I'm kind of excited to see how God will answer.

These towers could be finished by June.  There isn't a specific deadline.  The problem with that is then we don't get paid until July.  The faster the order gets out, the faster we get paid, which is why we want to get on them now and have them done asap.  This requires working through the winter. One thing I tell the kids all the time is that we have to be specific in our prayers.  It is amazing to look back and see how God answers specifically.  So, like I said,  yesterday we prayed specifically for garage doors and whether or not we should buy them.  We need His wisdom even in the the purchasing of garage doors.  I think my kids will grow up to be praying adults.  They've seen God answer so many times, in such specific ways.

Eleven years ago, I was due imminently with my 4th child.  This doesn't happen often to a pregnant lady, but they were concerned because I was so small!  HA.  I haven't had that issue before or since.  I looked 6 months pregnant when she was born, not 9.  It turns out she was my smallest baby, only 6 lbs, 9 oz.  Not that small really, but compared to my other porkers, at 8 lbs, 12 oz, she was small. Still is.

I went in for a routine ultrasound on the 22nd of December to see if she was ok as my amniotic fluid was getting lower and lower.  The doctor said on the spot, "This baby is coming out today." What?!  I had nothing ready at all.  Up to that point, all my babies had been two weeks overdue.  I figured I still had 3 weeks ahead of me!  I had also hoped for my first home birth, but no, the midwives were going to meet me at the hospital.  I was going to be induced for the 2nd time.  I do not recommend being induced.  It is awful.  I called my husband, told him what was going on.  He had to quickly organize childcare and was at the hospital fairly shortly after.

The induction took place and within 10 hours a baby was born, a whole week early.  That never happens to me!  It was kind of nice to not wait an extra 3 weeks.  It was also a special Christmas that year as we placed her under the tree, tied a bow around her and that was her birth announcement picture.  So sweet.  I loved having a baby at Christmas.  I felt I understood Mary a little bit better (even though I know Jesus wasn't actually born at Christmas,,,,you know what I mean....)  I read every Christmas passage with new eyes.

I was so happy to have a sister for the oldest girl.  We now had 2 girls and 2 boys.  I loved saying to my husband, "Where are the girls?" noticing the plural form of girls!  I loved having what was considered a big family.  The oldest was 5 for a whole 3 weeks and then she turned 6, so for a brief period of time, I felt like a hero having 4 under 5!  It was an amazing time.

Looking back, it is amazing to see how much time has passed.  Now that little girl has some friends coming over today to help celebrate her life.  She has become our industrious little girl.  She was inspired by her older cousin and now she and her older sister are attempting to have a cake pop business just like her cousin.  This cousin is super successful, we'll see how successful we are!  My daughter has had an entrepreneurial spirit from a little child and always wants to have a business of her own.  She was probably 5 or 6 when she first started dreaming of what kind of business it was.  It always seems to involve food and hospitality of some kind.  We sometimes wonder if she'll run a B & B someday.  She also is the one who suffered from all the health issues this past year or two.  She has a keen interest in the natural healing through herbs and good food.  We wonder if she'll pursue health care.  She definitely has the gift of mercy, too, and she is very affectionate towards older people. Will she work with seniors or people who have special needs?  I don't know, but I see God's gifting in her so clearly.  It'll be so neat to see how her life unfolds.  Praising God for her this week and for the gift of children.

Wednesday 17 December 2014

A Mailbox Full of Blessings

Yesterday was quite the day.  We were busy tidying, making cheesecake, decorating cookies, trying to do some school in the midst of it all, still dealing with brake issues....it was a busy day, but I was still determined to start it off with Bible reading and prayer.  This often happens, as we're praying, RM will walk in from his office with news.

In his hand he was holding the first cheque to arrive unexpectedly that day.  It was for the hay we sold to Florida.  I think what I love most about getting money in the mail it that you never know when it will arrive.  It literally seems to come from heaven sometimes, as if God put it directly in the mailbox.  It had actually arrived the day before, but somehow got mixed up in Monday's mail and got missed.  It was a relief to get as we still had another dental bill remaining for my son's teeth.  We were able to pay.

While my son and husband were out at the dentist for one final adjustment to his new retainer, I got a call from RM saying, "The order came through!"  We had been told some towers were being ordered, but once again, we never know when that'll happen.  The government has months to decide when they want to push that order through.  This was the week it happened.  That order will clear all debt outside the mortgage  - so we were praising God.  Was it the huge 100 tower order that I hoped for? No, but it was big enough for us to handle.  The truth is a 100 tower order would probably kill my husband, so God gives us the contracts we can handle in the increments we can handle.  Plus, He still wants us to rely on Him for everything and keep us faithfully depending on Him.

Then, still not done....when yesterday's mail came in, the cheque for the grapes came in and another cheque for pork that had been bought last week.  Amazing timing, wouldn't you say?  You would think I knew what was going to happen before it happened in light of the verse I'd written a few days ago.....what did it say, "pressed down, shaken together, running over....?"  Something crazy like that. Those cheques virtually covered what we owed a different farmer for taking care of another section of our property.  No more debt owed to him.

On top of it all I found out about a little surprise for the kids which I won't say much about now, but suffice it to say, they might even see a little something under the tree thanks to a random gift from a relative completely out of the blue that we are intended to use for the children!!!!!!  I couldn't believe it.  Couldn't believe it!  "With what measure you use.......it will be measured to you......"  If I weren't writing this with my own hand, I wouldn't believe it myself.

We were tempted to miss family worship last night as the ladies from church were coming over soon after dinner and I still had some last minute things to do, but RM said, "We've got to stop and thank God for what He's done."  I quickly agreed.  The funny thing about homeschooling and having the kids around you all day long is you just assume everyone knows what is going on all the time, but they had no idea what had transpired throughout the day, so those little family meetings at the end of the day are so critical.  It was a short time to debrief and then to just thank God for His goodness to us.  It got the kids really inspired to see we were actually getting closer to the reality of being completely debt-free.

My mathematically-challenged son, who now is feeling like a math expert, suddenly started to do some mental math in his head, "If we could just make this much money a month, we'd have the mortgage paid off!"  "Yes!"  We started to talk again about the farmer's market...eggs....meat....homemade crafts....it's the little by little thing again.  They are starting to picture the freedom!  I think they are seeing the home stretch and they are excited!

So the ladies came over, we enjoyed a rich time of fellowship - a little cheesecake always helps the fellowship!  I led a brief study on the importance of studying God's Word in the historical and cultural context in which it was written.  We're working through a book by Jen Wilkins, Women in the Word.  She reminded us of the skill of digging in Scripture like we're archaeologists.  Most of us admitted that we don't do this because we are just plain lazy.  As moms with many children, we just don't have the time.  We are busy!  This is a true fact, but doesn't get us off the hook.  There will be a season when we will have more time.  The challenge I gave was to at least improve in one small area - to just start.  To pick up a pen.  To write something down.  To read a bit more.  To do a bit more research than we've ever done.  Mining God's Word will only reveal more treasure.  It can't ever hurt to go deeper.  We are the only ones who lose out if we don't.  God's just waiting to reveal Himself to us.

Now, half way through the week....still more things to plan!  This is all without the craziness of shopping.  I can't imagine how stressed I would be if I had to add that in to the mix.  My 2nd daughter's birthday falls at Christmas time.  We haven't done a birthday party for a while and have kept it pretty low key, but this year she's having some special friends and cousins over.  It's actually a bit of an experiment.

My 2nd son wants to start doing "Pony" parties using our little mini horses.  This is his first "gig". He'll take the girls for rides and then teach them how to care for the horse, brushing it, etc.  Then they'll get little pony cake pops, pony crafts....you get the idea.  If this takes off, we plan on bringing the pony to the farmer's markets to "sell" the pony party idea.  That is huge in the city as little city girls all love horses.  We want to make their horse-loving dream a reality!  It'll be a fun little business for my son, too.

After the party, Christmas is around the corner.  We'll celebrate with the church on Sunday and that same afternoon with my family.  Talk about lots of eating.  My daughter and I have decided to do a two-week shred after all that excess food.  That means two weeks of hard-core eating well and, ugh, an hour of working out a day - half hour in the morning and a half hour at night.  Good 'ol Jillian. She'll be back in my life for a bit.  That is quite unsustainable in my life, working out that long, but I can do it for two weeks,  Normally, I only spend a few minutes these days, just enough to maintain a little muscle mass.

One of our favourite lines in the comedy movie Princess Bride is when the King has just delivered Princess Buttercup's love to the torture chamber.  He stands outside with his aide talking about how tired he is, "I've got my Kingdom's 500th anniversary to plan, my wife's murder...I'm just swamped," he says matter-of-factly.  "Go, get some rest...if you don't have your health, you don't have anything," his evil aide tells him.  We always laugh so hard.  We'll do that, too, "I've got my daughter's birthday to plan, cake pops to make, dinner to cook...I'm just swamped."  Then one of my kids inevitably says to me, "Go...Mom, get some rest....if you don't have your health.....you don't have anything..."  By that time, I'm laughing my head off.  When did they get so funny?

So, it is true, I'm swamped, but it's all good - if there were nothing going on, I'd be bored silly.  This is the kind of busy I like - lots of things to look forward to, not too much that I'm stressed, just enough to keep me on the go, not sitting around.....According to Gary Smalley, who wrote about the different personality types, I'm an otter.  He describes the otter as "a party looking for a place to happen".  That's me to a "T".  My husband just looked at me when we read it together and laughed as they described my personality exactly..fun, fun, fun.  And I wonder why my kids like having stuff going on......hmmmm......


Monday 15 December 2014

Pressed Down, Shaken Together, Running Over.....

"Some of the enjoyment of Christmas is gone for me, " one of my sons admitted to me last night.  "Sorry," I said.  He said that because he really does miss the gifts.  No doubt!  His comment saddened me, of course, but at the same time, I was ok with his honesty.  He knows it isn't forever and he knows there really are gifts that come to him all year, but the piles of piles of gifts are gone and quite honestly, I'm not sure we'll ever go back to what we were doing before even if we came into money.

This same boy savours every element of Christmas even more now.  He loves the decorations, the cookie decorating, all the traditions.  I took one of the traditions away, but it just has made him appreciate all the other ones so much the more.

One other funny tradition we added this year was reading a completely different "Advent" book.  It was the Barry Cameron book we just finished on money.  It was actually the perfect Advent book to read!  In so many ways it was confirming for us why we need to be so careful with our money and change our habits that normally got out of control for us at Christmas.  There's nothing wrong with the other Advent books, but in the past, our kids listened to them, but really....it was still about the gifts....and a little about baby Jesus....For the second year in a row, we are TRULY able to focus on what Christmas is about.

Giving above and beyond the tithe was a challenge for us this year.  This is the time of year most people are asked to give to all sorts of different places, from the Salvation Army in the mall to someone at the door or even over the phone.  Isn't the tithe enough?????  We figured God would lay it on our hearts if we were supposed to give above that.  Then an opportunity was put before us. The spiritual struggle was undeniable as we both saw it from two completely different perspectives.  We wrestled with what to do.  I was right, of course!

After a full day of going back and forth, discussing it from all angles, we both finally agreed what to give, where to give it and how much.  One of the financial principles in the Bible is "Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:38)  We decided to give, even though we knew this verse, not expecting anything in return.

Within hours of making the donation, RM got a call from the guy who rents our land asking if he could come by and pay us.  Of course that is money that is owed to us, but we never know when we'll hear from him.  It appears completely coincidental, but evenso, it felt like an odd confirmation from God, that our finances are His ultimately and that He'll take care of us especially if we gave sacrificially.

Another funny thing that happened even this morning....As of today we were going to be drinking the so-so coffee.  My husband saved two of the "great" coffee disks and told me I could have them, just to be nice.  This morning I came down and couldn't find them anywhere.  I searched high and low and basically took the whole coffee/tea cupboard apart looking for them.  This was at 5:30 in the morning.  I didn't want to go upstairs and wake him up, but I was thinking about it!  Suddenly, I saw one, then the second!  Whew!  I thought that was odd of him to throw them at the back of the cupboard and make me do a whole search and rescue mission for them, but oh well.

Then, suddenly, he appears!  He's never up that early, but said he was done sleeping.  I said, "I finally found the coffee!  Why did you hide them?"  "I didn't!  I put them here in this mug!" Ahhhhhhh....there they were!  I looked at him and said, "Hey!"  Then I tried to quote the verse about "with what measure you use, it will be measured to you...." and I said, "That is soooo cool!  You gave me the last two disks, just to be nice and then there ended up being two for you!!!!"  I think he thought I was reading too much into it, but I don't think so!

Isn't that how God works?  RM sacrificed, perhaps in a very small way, but it was big to me - remember we love our morning coffee....and he had given me the last two disks for our little machine that makes AWESOME coffee.  God gave them right back to him.  Now, we're definitely out, but it was kind of nice to share a cup this morning together where we both had a cup of the good stuff!  I don't think God works in only big ways.  I think He wants us to see Him even in how He blesses us in the little things.  I also think it was another picture of how if we gave sacrificially above and beyond the tithe, that God will also bless that.  He showed us with the unexpected payment from the farmer and even with the coffee.  We may be out of the coffee we love, but amazingly, in our boatload of groceries, whoever gave even donated coffee - how did they know?  So I don't even need to buy any for a long time.

Today is going to be a fun day for the kids.  We were unexpectedly invited over to a friend's house to decorate cookies.  But not just any cookies...cookies that are to be given away.  I love that.  The plan is to make them in order to give them to neighbours.  This one friend has even invited us to stay for dinner.  I had to double check if she was serious.  "Are you sure you want the whole family?  You know we have 10 people in our family?!"  She knew and still invited us!  Not many people do that for us - only the brave!  She admitted that in the past she would have waited to be hospitable, but no more!  She was determined to not wait!  What's interesting is how we haven't even been there yet, but how I've already found myself feeling blessed - blessed to be invited, honoured to be thought of, thrilled to have something to look forward to that will be fun for the kids (and doesn't cost too much!) - and all this without even being there yet!  It tells me how hospitality is soooo important!  Being on the receiving end is such a blessing and makes me want to be even more hospitable.  So thanks, dear friend, for inviting us!!!!!

RM's day is not going to be as fun, however!  Our van, which was virtually free, started to give us trouble last week.  This is really the first big fix since we got it, so that's not too bad considering how long we've had it.  The brakes gave out, but fortunately, RM has done his share of fixing brakes, so he knew what to do.  Also, the brakes gave out, but it didn't happen when I was driving and when it did happen, RM knew what to do and made it home safely.  It was a ton of hard work to fix and is almost all done, but has been very challenging physically and was another cost we didn't expect. We're not too worried about the cost, though, as God always provides - we're seeing that time and time again. The rest of the parts will come today and then it'll be put back together.  The boys have watched the whole process and now say they would know what to do, so it's not all bad when these things happen as we want our boys to be mechanically adept.  They won't be helpless men, they are learning so much!

Well, the four year old is up - he's begging for breakfast, so I guess I should make it!

Friday 12 December 2014

Life-Changing Radio

When it comes to trying to change my husband's mind on an issue, I have learned to leave him in God's hands.  When it came to wanting more children, I simply shared my desires with him, then prayed.  I couldn't convince him on my own.  God had to change his mind if we were going to have more.

Just like with me, God uses that radio station in RM's life, too.  A preacher will come on or a show on marriage will be the focus, and the next thing you know, he walks in the door with a completely different perspective that only God could give.

With baby five, it took him listening to Alistair Begg.  He spoke on how men should love their wives. Begg never knew RM was listening.  He never told him if there is someone out there whose wife wants another baby, you should be listening!  No, God spoke to my husband personally and told him, "I am the one giving your wife those promptings - you should listen to her.  That's how you can love her."  He came home and said, "Ok, let's have another baby!"

Well, it happened again a couple days ago, but I didn't know it.  For a while, I've been convicted, like I said yesterday, on a couple of very small things, but I know the way to get out of debt is little by little.  We love our good coffee, a more expensive coffee.  We also enjoy treating ourselves now and then, date nights, which we had been really good in denying ourselves, but we started to cave and, well, once you start, you think to yourself, "What's the difference?"  But it really bothered me.  I would talk about it with him.  But I couldn't get him as determined as I wanted him to be!

Then, yesterday, all extra spending just stopped.   He decided we're going back to so-so coffee and the indulgent date nights are on hold, for now.  We'll still have them, but they'll be free.  Just like that the little things I'd been talking about were no longer an issue.  He was now as determined as I was once again.  I couldn't understand.  I asked him, "Why?  What happened?"  He said, "I'm doing it for you."  At first I thought he meant that I was so weak that he had to step in and make the decision for me, but as I asked him more he said, "I heard someone speak on the radio about their relationship with their wife.  He thought they had a pretty good relationship, but then he thought, maybe there is something I can change.  I should ask her.  So he did.  Apparently, without hesitation, she quickly gave him, not one, but two things, he should immediately work on.  That's when it hit me.  We have  pretty good relationship, right?  Surely there isn't anything I need to work on?  Or is there?  Then, it occurred to me - you want to get out of debt so badly, but I don't stop spending in those areas that bother you.  Suddenly the motivation to stop spending was there immediately."

That was it.  He was motivated out of love, by God's prompting, not me nagging.  I think it is another huge step in our debt-reduction snow ball and a great lesson for all women to let God work in your husband.  Our job is to communicate our concerns, in love, no nagging, and then to pray, sit back and watch God work.  It was amazing!

We shouldn't have been surprised that we'd fallen off the rails a bit.  Barry Cameron spoke on this in his book.  Once you make the decision to get out of debt, at least 3 things will happen:

1.  You are going to get discouraged.  When I look back on the first year of our serious debt attack or at least on this past year of blogging, as we've been really at this for many years if you include the building of the house, etc., then many, many of my posts were on discouragement and how the Lord was bringing me/us through those dark times.  Cameron said, "You're going to see other people buying new cars, buying new clothes, and putting additions on their homes.  Your neighbours are going to come back from Cancun after a week of vacation and those kinds of things will discourage you,"  Uh yeah.  Vacations had to be my biggest struggle - perhaps still is.  I cannot tell you how many people have been on serious vacations, around the world and back it seemed in the past year alone that we know personally.  It's been out of control, nuts!  It's as if all the vacation packages were on sale, or free...that's how many people seemed to travel in my life this past year.  Clothing?  Yes - it seemed everyone I knew was wearing the newest things.  Cars?  It appeared no one except us was driving a clunky old van around.  Additions?  Our house definitely seemed older than it ever had.

BUT, in all of that discouragement, we learned many things and powered through it, learning to change our perspective and to be happy for all those who had an opportunity to travel.  To be happy for those who wore new clothes or had new vehicles or who were able to afford renovations.  As our perspective changed, those things stopped bothering us.  We were grateful for all we had, for all we were able to do, that we even had clothes, or vehicles, and that even we were able to get some renovations done.  Our farm is a vacation to some people!  We are permanently on vacation!  So, we hit discouragement with gratitude and all of that changed.

2.  You are going to get distracted.  Yup, that happened to us, too.  Cameron said, "There are going to be some things that come along and you're going to find yourself rationalizing...The distractions will come, and if you don't watch it, your rationalizations can be pretty convincing and you'll get clear off track and the devil will get you right back in that same bondage again."  For sure that happened to us. In such a short time, we allowed ourselves some indulgences thinking, "It's just this once."  But suddenly we were indulging all the time.  Not in every area, but here and there.  Enough to add up to a significant amount, but so small if you only do it once in awhile, that it didn't seem to matter - clearly that's how Satan works - you deceive yourself!  Reading this section of the book was a great encouragement to us to get back on track, even in the small things, like good coffee, and to stay on track....for the long haul.

3.  There will be detractors.  This is a shocker.  If you tell someone that you are trying to get out of debt, you would think you had horns growing out of your head.  Try it and see what happens.  It's weird.  I think it might be because it is such a personal, silent, not-talked-about issue.  No one wants to admit they are in debt.  I don't like admitting it.  We're calling mortgage-debt "debt".  People who have a mortgage don't consider themselves in debt, but they are!  We're calling them out on that perhaps.  We have other debt in credit cards, etc., that we're also working on obviously, but that's also a taboo subject.  We had one guy tell us he was quite happy to have a mortgage and enjoy vacations with his family.  He was comfortable with his debt.  We are not.  So talking about it makes others uncomfortable and they actually think it is strange for us to make our children sacrifice.    Cameron says, "Be prepared for that ahead of time so you can stay on target with your goal of getting out of debt and being free from financial stress."  We've never said debt is a salvation issue.  It's not.  We've never said it is sin.  It's not.  But, it is definitely viewed in Scripture as negative or a curse.  We are simply trying to be free from that burden and so we have to stay on track even if we have detractors.

I'm so grateful that my husband and I are on the same page.  We always were, but the two of us were caving, rationalizing and quite frankly I justified the indulgences because I figured he was the head of our home, if it didn't seem to matter to him, I was ok with it, too....but it just wouldn't sit well with me.  I was kind of using "the weaker sex" argument as my cop-out.  I was very glad that he got strong for the two of us.  I needed him to put his foot down and he did.

"Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money LITTLE BY LITTLE makes it GROW."  I'm convinced, once again, that it is the little by little principle that is going to change our financial picture.  I'm super excited to see what God is going to do.  God clearly doesn't need me.  He re-convinced my husband with no help from me - God stepped in.  He wants us to be obedient in all things.  Just like I wrote yesterday how Jacob obeyed in almost everything.....I think that could have been the beginning of the downfall of the Israelites.....I sure want to make sure we, too, are obedient in everything.  "He who knows what to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."  I hated that verse for awhile, as clearly, treating yourself here and there isn't really sin, but to us, it was.  "Quench not the Spirit."  Another awful verse.  We were quenching the Spirit big-time.  No more.  Now I can read those verses with a clean conscience!  They really annoyed me before!

Life-changing radio - that's the tag line for the radio station.  I couldn't agree more.  That radio station will get a big thank you card from us someday!  You never know what we will hear when we step into our vehicles and what major life change it will bring just from driving around on a simple errand.

Thursday 11 December 2014

He Sent Wagons

Reading those chapters with my son (and the other children, too) was very interesting yesterday.  It certainly didn't make for a new child in one day, but the Scriptures we read reminded all of us that we are dealing with a force beyond ourselves.

Genesis 3 tells the story of Cain and Abel.  A story all of us knew, but this time it was different.  Both sons brought an offering to the Lord, but only Abel's was accepted.  This made Cain angry.  My son gets angry - this leads to hitting his brothers, etc.  God noticed his anger and called him out on it.  He could have left him to stew or overlooked it, but he specifically spoke to him about it, "Why are you angry?  What is your face downcast?  If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?  But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you , but you must master it."

We talked about that for a long time.  If we don't do what is right, sin is crouching at our door, longing to have us fall like Cain.  I said to all of them how we have to rule over it and not let sin rule over us.  The four year old nodded his head and fully agreed though I knew it was going to take a lot more than nodding his head.

Sadly, Cain didn't listen to God.  He tricked Abel into going out into the field where he proceeded to kill his brother, blatantly disobeying God.  Not a happy ending.

Then we read in Matthew about Jesus' temptation in the desert.  Satan was there with Him just before His ministry was about to start.  Jesus fought every temptation with Scripture and finally at the end He said to him, "Satan, be gone!"  I had never noticed that before!  It was the perfect tie-in to the Old Testament reading - sin, or Satan, is crouching at our door.  We must master him.  We can do this by using Scripture, but ultimately by telling him to be gone!  We spoke about how even the little guy could do this.

We then prayed together and funnily enough the morning then went really sour - it was as if sin was crouching outside the family room waiting for us to finish praying and then the attacks started right away, from kids who wouldn't do school with a good attitude, to the little boy running away from me...perhaps they were all attacks directed towards me, to see if I could practice what I preached. Finally by noon, we stopped, ate lunch and everything seemed to go ok after that.

I think the point is, it's not enough to read it or even pray about it - now, the true test is to live it, moment by moment.  Today is another day - thank goodness for restarts.

Last week was a great week of blessings.  Literally a week ago, we were on the verge of, not despair, but hope, telling the Lord we're still in this for the long haul, but, at the same time, we all wondered how much longer as we sometimes feel this could go on forever!  It was at that moment God sent the groceries from heaven (I still haven't been to a grocery store in a week which is unheard of for me - unheard of!)

I heard a sermon by David Jeremiah this week on Joseph.  His brothers had told his father, Jacob, that Joseph had been killed by wild animals and for years he had believed them and mourned.  Then, to his shock, they come back from Egypt where they went to get grain and they told Jacob, no, his son was alive and that he was the head of all of Egypt, next to Pharoah.  The ESV Bible says his heart was numb. The KJV says his heart stopped.  Either way, he didn't believe them and went into shock. Joseph probably knew this would happen and sent proof that he was alive by sending wagons of supplies along behind the sons to Jacob.  Once he saw the wagons, he knew it must be true and it says his heart started again, or his spirit was "revived".

This is kind of what happened with us last week.  We were accepting of our lot in life, knowing we would one day be out of debt, but perhaps not for a long time.  That was the sadness that remained in our lives.  We had hope, for sure, but not knowing how long we'll have to live like this was the discouraging part.  Then, through God's Word and through the reading of Barry Cameron's book, we got inspired again, that, yes, it's going to be tough, but we can do it!  We just have to hang in there!  It was just like having the brothers come to us to say "Joseph is alive!"  At first, we didn't believe it was possible that we could get out of debt.  Reading about it, deciding to do it....all helps, but we had no way of knowing if it would ever happen.  God knew what Jacob would need - proof - so he sent wagons. Guess what God did for us - he sent groceries, in a wagon of sorts, my parents car, which is like a small SUV, so it held a lot of stuff!

But God didn't stop with just one wagon for Joseph and he didn't for us either.  Over the course of the next few days, and I'm not exaggerating, we had one car after another come to our house, literally every day for the next 5 days or so either picking up pork which we were selling or paying us for hay which we were also selling.   It was as if God sent more wagons to our home.  The hay buyers were all completely unexpected and no one we knew, all brand new customers. Some bought hundreds of dollars worth of hay, some just $40, but it was something!  Those pigs which had been such a handful to take care of became a blessing to us and hopefully to others as it is good meat!

It wouldn't stop.  Our hearts, which had been numb, were revived!  It was just what we needed.  We would all look at one another in awe when a new car would drive in.  We couldn't believe it!  Another amazing example of God's goodness to us - why?  Because He didn't have to do that, but He chose to anyway.  That is grace, undeserved mercy.

One interesting note in the story of Jacob is that when Joseph sent for him, he was told to not bring any of his goods.  Joseph promised him that he would take care of everything he needed in the land he was going to be giving him.  Jacob either didn't believe him or couldn't let go of his stuff and he ended up bringing all of his junk with him.  Is that the reason things ended up going so badly for the Israelites later on?  Was it because of Jacob's lack of obedience or willing to trust?

There are a few things I feel we could still give up and sacrifice, but I don't really want to.  I've been convicted that I better.  I think 100% obedience is what God is requiring.  It's a very subtle part of the story, but it clearly says, "So Israel set out with all that was his..."  No doubt he thought to himself, "I can't get by without that, or that, or that....I need this. and this....they probably don't have this in Egypt."  I guess that's how we get caught up with stuff and not being willing to go without.  We just don't think we can do it.  I'm not much different than Jacob.

So, lots going on, as you can see - in my mind, in our lives, with our children....I'm grateful for God's undeserved mercy today....and for wagons.

Wednesday 10 December 2014

Tomato Staking

Losing Stephanie's mom was hard, but it really reminded all of us how life is so short.  It was a fabulous service celebrating her life.  Her personality shone through as she had planned the whole service before she died right down to the minute.  She had written down who would speak, how long they would speak and what they would speak about!  The reception afterwards included what type of cold cuts she had chosen, even the pickles!  It was great.  Her love for Christ was in everything she did and was all that people spoke about.

Tragically, I heard about a young couple who died just recently, leaving two young children behind. They didn't know Christ, they had no warning.  Their service would have been terrible to attend. Fortunately, there are those who do know Christ that are left behind to possibly even raise the children, but still, so sad.  An awful way to be reminded that we must be ready to meet our Maker.

Of course, there is always something funny that our four-year old brings to the situation, leave it to him to lighten the somber mood.  When we went out the evening of the visitation, we left him under the care of our oldest boys and took our oldest girls.  It is somewhat easier for our girls to handle him and the boys were nervous as lately the four year old hasn't been very well behaved.

Sure enough, he didn't disappoint.  They tried to put him to bed and supposedly he was in bed, but then a big noise was heard from downstairs.  One of them ran upstairs to find him playing in the bathroom with my daughter's make-up.  All I can say is a picture is worth a thousand words.....


They tried to clean it up, but had no idea how to get mascara off and it ended up making him look like Tammy Fay (if you remember her....)....make-up streaming down his face, smeared all around his eyes making it appear like he'd been beat up, punched in the face.  They did as good a job as they could and then put him to bed again.  This time they stayed upstairs to see if he would stay in bed. Apparently he made another couple of attempts to get out, but this time they were on him and as soon as the door was cracked open, they would jump up and put him back in bed.  By the time we came home they had wished they had gone to the visitation.  We found him upstairs, asleep, with huge black circles around his eyes...it was too funny, though my boys weren't laughing as hard....

All these things he does are funny, but there are some things he's been doing lately that have made us wonder why he behaves the way he does.  We've decided to crack down on him and kick it up a notch in all sorts of ways.  I'm monitoring his food quite closely now and trying to avoid as much sugar as possible as I'm sure that plays a pretty key role in his behaviour.  I've also sat him down each morning for the last few days and I've read him a chapter from the Old Testament and one from the New.  We've been talking a lot about what voice he's listening to - the deceiver's voice, i.e., Satan, or God's voice.  I've been telling him how Satan would like nothing more than to ruin his life, just as he did with Adam and Eve.

All seemed well for a whole two days.  By the third day, he came down and he was sensing a new pattern that I was trying to start and as he saw me get up (I never even told him where I was going which was to get my Bible), he quickly said, "I don't want to talk about God."  "Umm.....that's too bad!  That's what we're going to do!"  I said.  "Then I won't listen."  And he put his hands over his ears and tried to shut me out.  I explained to him how important it was and read on knowing the story that very morning was about the serpent tricking Eve.  Satan hates me and my son and he clearly didn't want me reading about his wileyness that morning.    As I read, he started to get engaged, the hands came down and he started asking all sorts of questions.  When we read in Matthew, he found it very interesting the John the Baptist ate bugs for breakfast - cool.  So I didn't take his initial attitude personally, I knew it was Satan's way of trying to derail me.  I'm sticking with it.

One of our new rules is that he can't be out of my sight - ever!  I got that idea from an awesome woman who wrote a book on tomato staking!  She talks about how if we want to raise Godly tomatoes/kids, then we need to stake them.  Not with a stick, but with us.  They need to be near us, almost staked to us, all day long in these early years, in order to learn the right behaviours.  If I let my other children stake him, then he just learns their bad behaviours.

If a tomato doesn't get staked what happens is that as it grows taller and taller and the fruit starts to form, the plant gets weighed down and the fruit falls to the ground eventually rotting.  My little boy has fruit in his life already.  I can see some fantastic character traits in him, but I can also see how the fruit in his life could easily rot if I don't get on him.  I don't want a rotten child or rotten fruit.  I want him to grow strong and tall and to have all the fruit of the Spirit in him that he can.  In a way, God has asked me to be His hands as the gardener and is using me to prune my boy's bad behaviours.  The thing is, God will step in to my son's life when he is older and will seriously prune him in a way he won't like if he doesn't listen to me now.  That kind of pruning is not fun.

When he disappears upstairs, I can't be on him and that's when he gets into the most trouble - out of my sight.  He obviously knows this and loves being where he can't be caught.  All this to say, his life is not his own right now.  I've got some serious training ahead of me.  But, it's my privilege.  I want him to be a child people enjoy being around.  I'm not so sure that is the case right now.  I know of some kids that people don't enjoy.  I don't want it to be one of mine!

I have much more to write.   We've had a neat few days of blessings since that boatload of groceries came.  But alas, the time has run out and I must get going.......more hopefully tomorrow.....


Friday 5 December 2014

Heaven's Windows Opened Up

To be honest, I can't remember if I've written on tithing before, but, even if I have, I'm writing about it again!  A couple nights ago we were continuing to read the next chapter in Barry Cameron's ABC's of Financial Freedom book together and it was all about tithing.  It might seem like a contradiction, but he said in order to get out of debt, you've got to tithe.  Sounds strange, but it is true.  It is a test of your heart and, not only that, it isn't your money in the first place, so you really aren't giving "your" money away - you are giving "God's" money back to the rightful owner.  The cliche "you can't out-give God" is so true.

We didn't used to tithe.  We thought we couldn't afford it.  As if you have to wait until you can afford to tithe, but that was what my husband thought back then.  Then, we had some annoying friend who was much older and wiser than us, challenge us as to what the Bible actually says.  Most like to use the "God likes a cheerful giver" verse to get out of tithing, but Jesus doesn't let you get away with that.  Ten percent is the bare minimum.  In Matt. 23:23, Jesus rebukes the Pharisees, "You give a tenth...but you have neglected the more important matters of the law - justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former."  In other words, Cameron says, "you should have practiced justice and mercy and faithfulness, but don't neglect your tithing."

At first RM was quite ticked at this older man telling us we should tithe.  He was a retired doctor so easy for him to tell us to tithe, RM thought.  We were a young family with just two kids and barely making ends meet (we had already over-extended ourselves early on by buying a house we probably shouldn't have).

The irony is we were in leadership at the church we were going to at that time.  In leadership and not tithing.  How awful.  At one of the leadership meetings shortfalls in the budget were being discussed. How could we as leaders/shepherds of the church expect the sheep to be giving if we were not giving?  Another leader, who we thought was extremely well-off, stood up and said, "I just can't give."  So we weren't the only ones in leadership not giving - terrible!

About this time, in an attempt to make a little extra money, RM had started a small business on the side selling musical instrument pick-ups allowing the musician to amplify their instrument without drilling holes into their violin or guitar.  It was taking off like crazy and we were starting to do really well!  Right around this time of being challenged to tithe, he did the math and realized this little business was bringing in almost exactly 10% of our income.  He remembers being hit as if by a hammer with this realization.  Oh no.

You know what's coming next.  The Holy Spirit started to work - big surprise - and the next thing you know, RM knew he wasn't being obedient.  He wasn't trusting God with "his" money.  He wasn't giving God what was rightfully His.  He knew he had to trust God and start tithing and that's what he did.

I don't know if that's when we first came across the Malachi 3 verse, but I'm pretty sure it was about that time we read how God views tithing...

"Will man rob God?  Yet you are robbing me.  But you say, 'How have we robbed you?'  In your tithes and contributions.  You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nations of you.  Bring the full tithe into the store house, that there may be food in my house.  And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need."

Test Him?  Hadn't thought of that before.  It was probably the next Sunday after realizing our little sideline business was actually supposed to be our tithe money, that we started tithing.  In our minds, at least at first, we thought we were giving away our profit that was supposed to be helping us out so much, but of course that wasn't the case at all.  As soon as we started to tithe, that little sideline business took off even more, starting to pay even our mortgage each month - it was crazy!  It was all sold on e-bay and before long RM became known as a "power seller" by e-bay as he had sold so many products.  He increased his line of products and even went down to Nashville to a music industry trade show at one point because it was doing so well!

This all came back to our minds just a couple nights ago after we read this with the kids.  It was a great reminder and we stopped and talked a lot about it with them that night.  We shared with them the idea of first fruits.  For a long time we'd been trying to give weekly as opposed to when RM would get a cheque, but the problem with that is the payment is so sporadic it is hard to spread it out and make it last.  God really wasn't getting first fruits - i.e., the first 10% off the top.  He was sometimes getting it if we had any left over - that doesn't work.  So RM decided to change his philosophy recently and write the tithe cheque right away.  We talked about that with the kids, too - always trying to explain why.

We even discussed with them that for the second year in a row, we were asking them to go without Christmas presents.  They were on board - again.  Mind boggling.  Re-reading James with them again reminded us of why we made that decision in the first place.

I always pray after we talk about such big things like that, that God would show Himself to our kids, that He would bless them for their obedience.  

Then, yesterday I got a message from my mom that she and Dad wanted to come by in the evening. Great, I said - we're home!  I figured they must be coming from an event and were in the area.  Never thought twice about it.  It worked out that they could pick up some of our pork we were selling.

When they pulled in, they backed up their vehicle to our door as if they were picking up 10 sides of pork, not one.  RM thought that was strange.

When they came in, it was clear they weren't just "in the area".  They had made a specific trip to our place.  They'd been sent, actually.  I do not know how all this came to be, but somehow we were chosen to be the recipients of blessing.  A group of people unbeknownst even to my parents picked us to be the family they would bless this Christmas.  I don't know how they know us.  I don't know how they determine who will get blessed.  I have no idea.   All I know is my parents were sent with an entire car full of food, toiletries, even brand new mittens for every single child in our family.  Bin after bin, bag after bag, was brought in to our home last night.  It was incredible.

I didn't know what to say.  I didn't know what to do!  My kids just kept looking at me with these huge eyes, "What is going on?"  "Mom, this is such a blessing!"  "Mom, this is 6 trips to the grocery store!"  "Mom, where are we supposed to put all this?"  I had no answers.  I was completely speechless as was RM.

At first I said to my mom, crying, of course, always crying, "Why?  I don't feel we deserve this?! Have I communicated that we are so poor somehow?  Someone else should get this!"  She stopped me again and again, "They chose you. They want to bless you and your family." 

Immediately the passage from Malachi came into my mind, that when God wants to He can open the windows of heaven and pour down blessing whenever and wherever He wants.  Was that what He was doing?  Even this morning, I'm still in shock and I said to RM, "There is no space for all this food! It really is as if I did several shops in one!"  He said it's even a savings in gas to all the stores, which is so true, not to mention the time it always takes me to shop for our large family.  I'm in awe.

I don't know who to even thank.  From what I understand this comes from a group of people who seek to bless different families each year, anonymously, that the Lord puts on their hearts I guess. You could tell it wasn't a random act of giving.  They had approached my mom and found out the ages of our children so they bought knowing exactly who are family was and purchased accordingly. It was obvious, as each child, right down to the correct size of mitts, got a really beautiful pair of mittens - 8 mittens, even a toddler size for our littlest!  Not only that, but they purchased everything in bulk.  I didn't get one bag of milk, but probably 5 or 6.  I didn't get one box of cereal, but several jumbo sizes.  I didn't get a package of ground beef, but all sorts of different kinds of meat!  It just went on and on.  They even bought us shampoo in the very kind I use!!!!   How did they know that?! Who are these angels?!

I think it is safe to say God answered my prayers.  My kids kept saying, "Mom, this is such a blessing!"  They saw God work.  Of course, my natural reaction and certainly this is the case for my husband, too, is that we were humbled....again.  Being on the receiving end of something like this makes you feel strange at first as your pride gets in the way.  I've had to fight that a little bit.  God stepped in and pushed me out of the way and seemed to say, "I'm going to bless you in spite of your pride.  I know what you need more than you do and your kids need to see what I'm about to do."  My kids were blown away and some of them went to bed with their new mitts on their hands because they loved them so much.  It was sweet.

I guess it is one thing to read about heaven's windows being opened up.  It is quite another to be on the receiving end of that blessing.  Whoever did this needs to know how grateful we are - thank you, thank you, thank you.  If I ever doubted whether or not you can out-give God, I think I've learned, you can't.



Thursday 4 December 2014

Death Thou Shalt Die

Last night we lost Stephanie's mom to a battle with cancer that lasted nearly three years.  Stephanie got the call from the hospice around 4:30 in the morning that her mom's condition had changed.  Her breathing had gone from somewhat regular to shallow and rapid.  The nurses told her it could be 10 minutes or 10 hours, it was hard to know.  Her husband whipped over there and then she was able to arrive a little while later.

We got the call around 9 am or so asking if our girls could come watch her kids for the day, not knowing how long it would be.  Without hesitation, we all loaded in the car, knowing this would probably be the last time we would have to do this.

Stephanie wanted to know when we were leaving so she could meet us there, pick up her husband and then take him back to the hospice with her.  I immediately texted her back and asked if she wanted me to drive him so she wouldn't have to leave her mom.  I really didn't want her to say yes as I had no interest in going to the hospice.....I was too afraid to see her mom.  I had never seen anyone that close to death.

But she did say yes.  Oh no.  That's ok, I figured.  They probably don't want anyone to come in and see her.  They probably want just family around.  I was right.  Her brother didn't want any visitors.

We drove over, but when we pulled in, Stephanie's husband texted her to tell her I was there, so I did go in to see her in the lobby.  But then, I asked her, did she want me to go in and see her mom?  She said it was ok as her brother had changed his mind knowing people would probably want to come once they knew she was dying.

The moment of truth - in that split second I knew I should go and not be afraid.  It was a privilege to be able to see her.  So I went.  It was sad and hard to see her in that condition.  Her head was off to the side.  Her eyes were open.  Her pupils were flitting back and forth somewhat unvoluntarily.  It looked like she needed to have her nose wiped.  Her facial muscles were gone and her mouth seemed somewhat contorted - that was what was the hardest to see.  She lay there breathing just as they said, shallow and rapid.

Immediately, I felt tearful.  I grabbed her hand which was quite cool and just told her what a great friend she had been, how she had blessed so many people, including ourselves.  I told her we loved her and would look so forward to seeing her again.  I tried to get down right on her level and look her in the eyes.  She blinked, but that was the only response, but I'm not convinced she didn't hear me.

I knew it was an honour to be there.  I made sure I told Stephanie and her brother that.  I thanked them over and over again for the privilege of being there, knowing their mom.  It was good for me to see it as I know death is a reality in life and really, up until that moment, I had never seen it.

She hung in there the whole day, right up until about 6 pm.  Just before 6, I got the call from Stephanie that she needed me to come get the girls as the baby was fussy and her husband needed to bring her to the hospice to nurse her.  He was going to bring my girls to the hospice, too, and then I would pick them up from there.

I hung up and got in the truck to go get them, but didn't have my cell phone as my daughter had it.  It was at that moment that she died.  I didn't know this and kept driving to the hospice not realizing what had happened.

When I arrived at the hospice, I signed in as the girls weren't there and waited.  Then the volunteer at the desk asked me if I wanted to go see Stephanie.  I said, "Sure."  When we got close to her mom's door, it was shut.  I hadn't seen that before and wondered right away if something had happened.  We immediately turned around.

Suddenly Stephanie appeared and walked towards me with an empty look of loss in her eyes, "She's gone."  I couldn't believe it.  It was as if God had sent me.  I was allowed to be there within minutes of her death.  I hugged Stephanie and was able to hear the whole story of her final minutes, how she smiled just before she passed, how Stephanie's dad asked her to pray and how the whole family was able to be around her in those last moments.  Wow.  It was amazing.

I thank God that I was able to be there.  As I left Stephanie said, "You've been at all my most significant life events!"  Thank you Lord!  What a privilege to share these moments with her.

It struck both of us that, yes, there is of course sadness, but I think we were also shocked that we were ok.  We both knew she was in glory.  She smiled right before she died.  Did she see Jesus?  I wonder.

John Donne is my favourite poet of all time.  He wrote a holy sonnet that sums it all up for me - it is called "Death, Thou Shalt Die".  Here it is:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and souls deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die

Isn't that it?  Death need not be proud as death itself will die one day and death will be no more.  

So today, I'm sure Stephanie is sad.  We are sad.  I am sad, but my life is richer for knowing her mom, even for losing her mom.  I plan on stepping in as much as possible where I can to help out in the future.  I know I'll never replace her mom, I'm not supposed to, but I will try to give her the support she'll need as I know the hardest times are yet to come.  I still have my mom and I can't imagine how I would have gotten by these last few years without her help emotionally, spiritually, even practically. 

Oddly enough, I look forward to her funeral.  I know it will be a time of rejoicing!  I can't wait to hear how many lives she's touched.  She was a very special woman and had many, many friends.  I think it will be packed full of people from around the country.  She impacted all of us.  

Our lives are so short, a vapour.   Death reminds us of that.  May I live my life making every moment count for eternity.  

Wednesday 3 December 2014

Multiplication Effect Story - The Holy Spirit is in the Moving Business!

The house is decorated now.  Definitely a spirit of Christmas is in the home.  Getting out all the decorations was a funny push for me.  I'd been thinking I hadn't seen any "multiplication" stories in our life for a bit where God takes something we have and multiplies it, "for free", but that happened this week when I started to decorate.  You have to picture it....

We have a fairly tiny home, but lots of people....and the people who live in it keep getting bigger and bigger, really fast.  My older boys are trying to get bigger and did this ridiculous push-up challenge with me - the oldest boy can now do 84 in a row in quick succession.  The younger one, 13, can do 50 no problem.  (I'm still stuck at 25, but can do two sets of 25 without too much effort, so I'm pretty happy with that....for a girl!)  I say that to show how much room we need just for their muscles!

We did this a year ago, too, trying to add space to a room that you can't add space to.  We took the piano out of the family room and voila, the room space multiplied.  We took the giant shelf out of the family room and, again, more space, more seating.....but still, always needing more space.

Then, it was the awful chairs.  We used to love them, but since the 4 year old took to practicing his trampoline lessons on them, I really couldn't stand looking at them anymore.  It's one thing to be trying to get out of debt.  It's another thing to try and look poverty stricken.  I wasn't trying to look poverty stricken.  It's like Brother Andrew wrote in his book, God's Smuggler, it just didn't seem the way of the Master.  I don't think God wants us to purposely give off a "woe is me" attitude.  Besides, we did have other furniture we could replace it with, but we just never thought it would fit in that room.  I had suggested it multiple times, but RM would just look at me and say, "It'll never fit - the furniture is too large scale."

But Monday, something came over me.  My poor children.  When something comes over Mommy, watch out.  I hate to use Mary and Joseph to make my point, but we read this verse this week, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."  How does this possibly apply to me?  I really believe I scare a lot of people sometimes.  It's true!  I get all sorts of crazy ideas and/or convictions and as I share them with others, I get these funny looks, even from my own kids or husband!  But this verse was awesome.  I told the kids and RM yesterday, "You see?  Don't be afraid!  The ideas I get are conceived in me from the Holy Spirit!  I knew it!"  I know, I know.  A bit of a stretch, but I do believe that even the ideas about how I can multiply our space in the home or even going on a crazy mission trip aren't put in my mind by myself.  I believe the Holy Spirit places them there!  A great encouragement for anyone that I scare - don't be afraid!

Ok, back to the house.....I called my second oldest boy and hesitantly asked him, "Uh, D, could you, uh, come down?  I just need your help moving a few things around."  He answered just as hesitantly, "Ok?????"  I could tell he was worried.  What was Mom up to?

Down he came and I explained, "Now that we have this tree, there is no space at all.  We've got to get these awful chairs out of here and see if we can get this couch here and that couch there......"  He, and all of the kids, looked at me with questioning eyes.  But they all seemed to kind of catch the vision and my enthusiasm.  I always have a bit of a double agenda - I knew there was some cleaning to be done under all the couches.....

So, with Christmas decoration boxes everywhere, toddlers scrambling to not get hit by a moving chair, forts suddenly being made with all the new hiding spaces being created, we started to move some serious furniture.  We brought in a whole other L-shaped couch, got rid of the two ripped chairs, moved another large couch to a different wall, took out a shelving unit.....everything changed. It is quite the transformation.  As always, I don't know how we didn't see it before.  But then I realized one of the things that we hadn't known what to do with was the TV.  We didn't have any place for it before.  Now that we don't really have it on, we didn't need it in the room - amazingly, that was what we needed to get rid of to make the room multiply in space.  I put it in the room next door as it also holds the stereo which we still use (I thought it wasn't working, but it is, at least half the time!  It seems to like playing just the beginnings of songs - very funny).

Now, our tiny little family room easily sits 11-13 adults or 30 kids!  Everyone wanted to know when I was moving all this furniture that was "sooooo heavy" why we couldn't wait until Dad came home to help us.  I assured them, "Dad hates doing this kind of thing."  But when he walked in, he couldn't believe the transformation.  Our room looks huge!  There is a large play space for the little kids now and they are just loving it!  My piano playing daughter had needed a shelving unit in her studio, but we just couldn't get around to picking one up - now she has one!  It came from down the hall.  She's thrilled.  Her books don't have to sit on the floor anymore.

I call it the "Multiplication Effect".  This is where God multiplies something we already have for no cost to us at all.  It's one of my favourite ways to see God work.  It's such a blessing.  Plus, I love change and tranforming spaces as I get really bored with the same furniture arrangement all the time. Getting rid of the ratty chairs really helped me, too.  Seeing them deteriorate more and more each day was starting to depress me.  Yes, I was content and grateful for them, but the rips and tears were out of control. We were thinking we were going to have to pick up something at the store we'd first purchased them, but I knew that was spending money we didn't want to spend.  Now, the room is full of furniture that is actually all fairly nice!  No rips!

It might seem like a small thing, but my life is full of these types of blessings.  It's how God works - in the small things, but in actuality, they are big things, at least to me.  It's fun to have a "new house" again, or at least a new room.  When all was said and done, my kids were very happy and have learned Mommy's ideas aren't always crazy.  You just have to hang in there to see where her ideas are going!  The Holy Spirit is in the "Moving" business!