Trials Begin

Why are we shocked when things don't go as planned. Not even two days even there's a complication.  We had a permit for the pond from 2017 which is such a cool thing as we didn't know we would need it in 2023 when we first applied for it.  So we went ahead and started digging.  We were still waiting on Site Plan Approval for the buildings, but we figured we had the pond permit so we went for it.  We received some comments back on the on our application yesterday and one of the comments was from the fire department saying things that needed to be changed and no digging can start before those changes are made.  Oh dear.  At first, I felt a twinge of fear and then, I admit, doubt about my husband's choices crept in, which is a classic Satan move.  But then as we talked we really didn't panic too badly.  RM is masterfully dealing with the architect and the junior designer and is helping keep her in line as she keeps stepping out of line.  I'm not exactly sure what the attack was, but I think the bottom line for me is always fear and for RM it's epic physical pain from the workload he's carrying as he processed grapes till midnight the night before, received the grapes all day and then project managed the pond starting as well as managing the stained glass all at the same time.  Is he living his best life?  Yes, but it's taking a toll on him for sure.

How I pray that one day he'll be able to relax and not be in so much pain all the time.  I wish I knew if that was even a possibility.

How I thank God for my kids and how they come alongside him in his workload.  So grateful for them.  I've been reading in 1 John how if we abide in Him the He will teach us everything.  I surely need help teaching everything.  I'm quite overwhelmed by school, the amount of prep work and all the additional things on the side that I want to do in the church.  I'm asked daily if I will ever send them to school.  I don't know!  I sure  hope by abiding that I will know.  I'm in a bit of a desert wasteland, that's all I know

My heart condemns me all day long about so many things I'm insecure about from the order in my home, to my education choices, to the reno, involvement in church, etc., etc., 1 John speaks of how He can reassure our hearts and that He is greater than he who is in the world.  How I need that reassurance.

We'll be at Brock today for our son's university fair.  My prayer is once again that the Lord will guide.  So much uncertainty about next fall as well.  Praying, praying, praying

Winery Reno Begins

 I am determined to attempt blogging again.  Not because anyone is reading this, but I just want to document the faith journey again.  Today marks the official day of alleged renovations.  There, I showed my lack of faith again by saying “alleged”.  I want to believe they’ll happen, I just have such a hard time picturing this whole thing that we’ve been planning for months to actually happen.

Today it’ll be machinery being moved on to the property and then tomorrow the pond digging will begin.  Deep down I’m super excited because at the very least we’re going to have a beautiful water feature, but at the same time, deep down, I’m afraid that’s all we’ll have.

However, if things move ahead like we hope and dream, then following the pond being dug, and permits being issued, then buildings will be cleaned up, parking lots will be made and possibly even landscaping will take place.  Then, ideally, that will fund potential home renos, Lord willing.  And that’s the whole thing, does God care about renovations?  Well, as I studied the whole Old Testament, oddly enough, I noticed that He loves construction and He loves making things new, so I am trusting Him, even though this is a very new stretch for us.

Last night as we sat in the church Vision meeting as they shared with the congregation about their dreams for the church building, it seemed oddly familiar.  Their budget, their hopes, the way they see the building as a tool.  I wanted it for them, too, because I know how it feels.  I long to have my home and property used in the same way.  For some reason it isn’t happening quite as fast as I hoped, but as the study of 1 John goes, God is like a parent who knows us better and what we need better than I do, so I have to faithfully sit back and wait while my house falls apart.

The church shared how the building on Scott St. was falling apart which ultimately led them to this building on Arlington.  This week alone, more things fell apart here - the mudroom door came right off its hinges.  I have to lift it up from the bottom to make it work.  This adds to my already broken washer, stove, fridge, water cooler, floors, heat, clogged sink, stinky rugs, furniture, dog pen where they’re chewing up the house….blah, blah, blah.  But none of this is new to God, so I try to keep the kids happy.  I try to show them how God is still blessing us.  I try to be positive even though the cloud hovers over me and I can’t seem to shake it except by doing the next right thing.

Starting in a week and a half we’ll have a new financial load that will be funded by the winery if all goes as we hope.  That kind of boggles my mind.  I can’t quite picture it except that we’ve been able to make it so far.  Again, this isn’t a surprise to God so I’m excited to trust Him.  What choice do I have?

It’s going to be fun to see what direction these two renovations take - will people give what they need?  Will the money come in for our renovation as well?  We don’t have a church congregation to support us.  We don’t have any secret sources of money.  Can’t wait to see what will happen.  Trusting God is fun and hard at the same time.