Thursday 28 November 2013

Multiplication Effect - Story 3

I hope you don't get tired of reading all of these multiplication stories, I'm not!  I'm just amazed as my eyes are opening up more and more to them almost daily it seems.

I almost missed this one.

When we were in the Suburbs, we had a piano teacher for the kids who was incredible.  She was known for getting the highest scores in the county at Conservatory Exam time.  One of her students became so proficient that he made a career in music as well as wrote his own piano teaching books.  Going to one of her recitals was like attending a concert at the Hummingbird Center in Toronto, get the picture?  I felt very blessed to have her.  She taught my older four, but specifically advanced my oldest, who has a somewhat natural talent in piano.

All that changed when we started to build the house four years ago.  For awhile this awesome teacher was willing to drive the 35 min. out to Niagara to teach our kids, but one year into that, we had to shut it all down.  She was still willing to drive, we just weren't willing to pay!  She was one of the most expensive teachers around and yes, she got results, but you had to have money to get the results!  Money got really tight as we were finishing the house and there was just no way we could keep her, sad to say.  We had her come out a few more times to inspire us and then to try and inspire our oldest daughter (#1) to keep up her piano studies or to try and inspire her to teach the younger ones, but life just got too busy, more babies were born, which was tiring, and I didn't have the energy to force her to do this.

But then, this summer, #1 got asked to teach some children from church which we quickly agreed to do as this was a great opportunity for her to gain some extra cash, from home!

Hey, wait a minute, I thought to myself one day.  How come she can teach these guys, but not her own sisters and brothers!?  So we had a little chat and talked about how great it would be if she could teach our kids!  At first it wasn't easy to get her head around teaching siblings as we had tried this once before, and vice versa, having a sibling be the teacher, but with a few encouraging talks with everyone, suddenly I had a new music teacher. Needless to say, my children are getting taught and to be honest, they are doing really well!  She is a good teacher!

Herein lies the multiplication story that I hadn't even noticed - I hadn't seen it at first as it seemed to me to be more of a child-discipline story instead.  It was shortly after I had this little talk with #1 that we made our financial vows.  Try to picture this - a beautiful black grand piano sitting in a house, but rarely played.  Some play a little, some tinker, but it just sits there gathering dust.  This was never the case in the Suburbs.  It was always being played, so much so that I couldn't have a conversation on the phone without telling someone to stop playing - it was too loud!  But since the move, hardly ever.

It was only a couple weeks ago I realized it was happening again - I was on the phone and I had to leave the room because it was too loud, non-stop piano playing had begun again and I mean non-stop because now there are 5 piano players and they have to fight for a turn!   That's when I realized something had happened - God has taken our very talented oldest daughter and has taken all that money we invested in her (it seemed like a waste because we hadn't been able to continue after the move) and is now multiplying it through #1.  She is now the teacher we had to give up, who, ironically began teaching when she was just 15.  She would be proud.  I am proud and grateful to God for filling our house with music again - for free!  What a gift.

So, don't you see?  Once again, there is multiplication where it seemed there was just a loss and no hope.  I'm so pleased whenever the younger ones beg #1 to have their lesson.  I think what I most enjoy about these multiplication stories, besides the fact zero money is involved, is that it is often in an area that I've completely given up on. 

In the case of the family room, I knew it was hopeless, i.e., we weren't building another house anytime soon....it never occurred to me to pray about space!  In the case of the horses, I also felt discouraged and though I was praying, I think deep down, the only way I thought God could work was with more money in the bank.  As for the piano lessons, once again, never prayed about it as I knew (in my small-minded human thinking) the only way would be if we ever came into money.  Renaissance Man had said lessons were cancelled indefinitely.  This was awful for me as we really had invested sooooo much time and money in the older four and to just leave that as if it never happened was devastating for me, especially in light of #1's talent.

In each of these cases, not a dollar got spent, no money was taken from any bank account, any resources God used were pre-existing - our own furniture, our own barn, our own daughter, and, coincidentally, each one of these stories has happened since we made our vows to get out of debt.  We've determined to not spend where we normally would have and yet God keeps giving us above and beyond what we need, in spite of the fact that our faith is so weak.  Simply amazing.  May I never forget these great faith lessons.

Wednesday 27 November 2013

Flyer Frenzy

I feel a little ridiculous sharing frugal ideas many of you may already know about or are already doing, but in the name of those poor fools (like myself) who didn't know better or who did no better, but were either too lazy (ahem) or really, honestly thought those frugual things people did wouldn't  really make a difference, (remember my thinking on pennies?) I  will do my best to share anyway.  The few small things I've already started have saved us hundreds of dollars a month.  Move over  pennies, here come the dollars!  (That's ironic, as pennies are now out of circulation.....well, you know what I mean....watch your nickels then!)

A little background first....before my huge epiphany, pennies were just that,  pennies.  Before we moved to Niagara, we lived in one of the highest income earning cities in Canada.  All the head honchos of the biggest companies in Canada had their headquarters in this particular city outside Toronto.  All those same people therefore lived in their mansions on the lake in this same town.  Sometimes it felt like all the surrounding subdivisions, old or new, operated like they wanted a similar, opulent lifestyle.  The influence of wealth was overwhelmingly strong and you couldn't help but be influenced by it.  The temptation was to have what they had even if you couldn't afford it.  I know this wasn't the case for everyone of course, but it felt that way.  Many people I knew had houses that looked like model homes, entirely decorated top to bottom, landscaped to the nines. 

Again, it felt like I was the only mom home on the street.  I was often surrounded by nannies at the park as it required two high grade incomes to afford this chosen lifestyle.  You can see how being in this kind of environment  starts to rub off on you.  I wanted what they had, without me going to work of course - that's a lot of pressure on an already hard-working husband. 

I share this background to show how frugality was so unusual where I lived before.  Though I was attempting frugality when I lived there, I certainly was on my own and only knew of one or two other homeschool moms who were starting to be more careful with their money as more kids came along.  It was not cool to be frugal and if anything, you appeared cheap, also not cool.

Moving out to a smaller community, just outside of a small town (it takes me 5 minutes to drive to a   grocery store, though we're out in the country) has been just what we needed.  We didn't even realize  how immersed we were in a materialistic culture - statistically one of the wealthiest cities in Canada.  God knew what we needed and he moved us.  I don't think this particular city is that unique.  Wealth and debt are everywhere.  All you have to do is listen to Dave Ramsey's radio show to hear about the astronomical debt loads people are carrying.  The  pressure is insane.  Keeping us with the Joneses is nearly impossible as neighbours are outdoing one  another almost as a pasttime. 

Meeting new people in this area was interesting.  They were all quite good with their money.  No one's homes were over the top.  Everyone seemed to be rather wise with their money.  We still carried our old lifestyle with us when we came, so it took a while to catch on.  One of the humourous reasons I was never really convicted in this area (here's a good one for ya) was because I figured these frugal folk, it seemed to me, were that way because they almost enjoyed that kind of lifestyle, not necessarily because of necessity, as opposed to me, who enjoyed the opulent lifestyle!  So pathetic, wasn't I?  I am now paying much closer attention to these frugal friends and am so grateful for them.  It is now a hot topic of conversation whenever we connect.

I always say to Renaissance Man, "If our friends from the city could see us now......"  Boy, they would shake their heads - an old farm house?  What, no landscaping (well, not yet - I do like the "estate" look!)?  You buy from a thrift store?  Oh dear.  Someone else might have worn that?  Ewwwww.....Needless, to say, we are living ENTIRELY differently from how we used to live and there isn't much in common with our past life compared to now.  Miss the people?  Yes, but not the pressure.

On that note, back to my frugal tips about the flyers.  I talked about the Grocery Store Cheese Debaucle and now I'm going to talk about the Flyer Frenzy.

After I found out I had missed the Great Cheese Sale, I was "debt-termined" to not let that happen again (always trying to working in my daughter's clever idea for the blog title).  So, I gathered some of the older kids and had them go through each flyer (there were about 8 flyers) and they looked for things we typically eat as well as things on my meal plan for the week (another tip - make a meal plan!)

It took almost an hour, but you know what, it was kind of fun!  One of the kids would say, "Hey Mom, I found bagels on sale for $1.50!"  Then another kid would shout out, "I found a better price in this flyer!"  And so it would go, almost a game, looking for good prices and really having a lot of fun. 

Finally after we were all organized I had #4 organize our list into an even more organized list.  Why?  Because at the grocery store closest to our house you can get price checks, meaning this particular store will match their competitors stores' flyer prices, as long as you purchase the exact brand and size they are advertising.

Ok, imagine this - a whole cart (remember, I'm shopping for 10 people and have been known to have two carts leave the store!) of food, 8 flyers worth of price checking, 3 kids and I go on the busiest day of the week to shop.  But that was just how it worked, the rest of the week it hadn't worked out.

So, I knew I had to be organized or the cashier and everyone in the line-up was going to be "not happy wis me" (as our 3 year old says).  First I had #4 write down (on the new and improved list) the name of each flyer and then under each title she would write what we were purchasing from each store.  This was key to making the whole transaction smooth.

Then we hit the store. I would send each child on a mission (have I mentioned how I love having older children!?) looking for the things on the list.  Sometimes we would get to the particular section of the store for say, sour cream, and the store's brand was cheaper than the sale in the flyer, so we would just buy whatever was cheaper and save even more! 

Once we had everything on the list, we headed to the cashier.  You wouldn't believe how nervous I was!  People were starting to line up all around me.  I could actually tell some had been observing us throughout our trip as we had been talking a lot throughout the aisles, holding flyers, lists, sending kids out, kids coming back all excited with their finds....so I was definitely feeling pressure!  But suddenly, in a providential break, a cashier said kindly, "I can take you in line 4."  Awesome - no one in front of me or behind me, so that alleviated the pressure.

First I put on all the items that were from the store on the conveyor belt, allowing #4 and I to get our list ready.  Meanwhile, #2 and #3 starting bagging the groceries.  Then we were ready for the flyer frenzy.

I would get the flyer ready and ask #4, "Ok, what did we need from this store?"  She would quickly read off the things we had written down and I would pull them from the cart.  This went quite well as I wasn't managing the list and the flyers and the food, so when it was all over I made sure she knew what a help she had been!

When all was said and done, I was sure we were going to be over a certain dollar amount, but the cashier gave a number way lower than I expected.  Now I was curious.  I wondered exactly how much we had saved.

I went home, pulled out the receipt and did a conservative calculation.  We had saved ourselves over $100 that day!  In one trip!  RM was thrilled, shocked, and then frustrated - WHAT?  WE COULD HAVE BEEN SAVING THAT MUCH ALL ALONG???!!!!  Ok, he was joking, but, uh, probably not really.  I'd been saving us a few dollars all along.  I always followed the sales in the flyers, but never took the time to do the price checking in all the stores.  It was too much work.  Well, no more.  It was a way I could make us money and it was worth every minute it took.

One other thing - I had to get socks for my little guys that day, so instead of buying new socks for toddlers which are rarely worn out, I went to the thrift store and picked up probably ten socks for $2 and I even found a nice pair of boots for myself for $6 - that in itself saved me a ton of money as we all know what ladies' boots cost and even socks are expensive!  So it was another good day.  I was starting to really enjoy this whole challenge and the kids were, too!  I kept telling them all throughout the day, you guys will never be in debt - you will save your family so much money!  I was glad they were grasping what we were doing and why.

To sum up:

#1 - Go through the flyers, looking for good deals on things you normally eat. 
#2 - Compare the flyers on each item, looking for the store with the best sale.
#3 - Write down a list with the name of each store across the top of the list.
#4 - Write down the item and put it under the name of each store - include the price as well as the page you found it on as this saved oodles of time in the checkout line.  The cashier, depending on the store, will price match (just make sure you are at a store that does).
#5 - Bring help, if you can, to the store.
#6 - Systematically put the things on the conveyor belt, store by store, checking the list as you go (use your helper to call out items)
#7 - Do NOT feel pressure from anyone in line behind you - this is key - you are saving hundreds of dollars by doing this and it is worth the inconvenience.  It is a great testimony if they happen to be watching and once they see how much you save, it just might influence them to do the same another day!

Have a good day - sorry for the long post again!  Can't help myself.......

Tuesday 26 November 2013

The Multiplication Effect - Story 2

Time for another story!

Scripture says, "Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast..." (Prov. 12:10)

For some time now, especially as winter is fast approaching, I've caught Renaissance Man on the computer studying, researching, and wondering what to do about our horses.  Last year, we were able to keep them stalled in one of our barns near their pasture.  We live in a VERY windy area which is not good for the horses, especially the older one we own.  But this year, that barn is full of hay and farm equipment which makes it nearly impossible to use for the horses.  The only other option was to build a run-in shed which sounds easy enough.  My husband is very handy and at the time didn't even have a major contract he was working on, so he had the time.  The problem, once again, was cash-flow and those darn financial vows.

His research showed all sorts of plans, even fairly cheap ones, but there was just no way we could swing it.  The way his mind works, if it is concerned about even just one thing, it weighs heavily on his thoughts and impacts his sleep.  He goes to sleep with it on his mind, dreams about it, wakes up with it, walks around all day with it and it is a burden.  Guess who starts to help carry his burden?  Me.  So then, it starts to weigh heavily on me as well - it's that one flesh thing.

The kids and I pray quite specifically these days.  We were starting to spell it out to the Lord, not because we didn't think he could hear, but because the more specific we are with our prayers, I find that the Lord has to get the glory as he is known to answer specifically!  So we prayed about the upcoming winter and all the projects we needed to get done on the farm - how could we do them, Lord, if there wasn't money to do them?  Yet he knew our needs.  My eyes are already welling up when I think about what he did.

The weekend, surprise, surprise, right after the vows were made,  RM was determined to figure out what to do about these horses as it was getting colder and colder and windier and windier.  You are going to hear these words a lot, but "suddenly", RM got another brain wave.  He looked at our barn that the cows use for shelter in the winter and it dawned on him, he could divide it in half by building a small wall, then the cows could still come in from the wind and the horses could use the other half.  The only problem would be how would the horses get in and out as the main door would be blocked by the small wall.  Lo and behold there was a small human-sized door I had never even noticed on the horses' side.  If we could just convince them to try and use it like a human!  Well, on the first attempt they used it as if they'd always gone in and out like people!  This is quite something as horses do not usually like to go into small spaces that appear dark and foreboding, a miracle in itself.

Then RM quickly strung up some electrical fence (I told you he was handy) and suddenly they had a whole new pasture, too, full of delicious clover - they were in heaven!

RM came in to tell me how happy he was and to go see the horses' new home.  As I walked in the barn, it came to me, "God did it again!"  Sure enough, he saw it, too - he had not only multiplied our home, but our farm!  He had opened RM's eyes, to something he had walked in for months, but had never noticed and was able to show him a run-in (the horses' shed that we were supposed to pay thousands for) we already had on-site, without spending a dollar and without RM barely having to lift a finger -  the burden that had been on his shoulders, and mine, fell off, just like Pilgrim's in Bunyan's famous book.  Never have I understood that image as clearly as that day, as Pilgrim laid his heavy burden that he had carried for so long and dropped it at the foot of the cross.  Christ was doing that for RM and me - he was taking burdens off of us that were so heavy it was affecting our sleep even.  Thank you, Jesus, for caring even for horses and helping us to regard the life of our beasts.

Monday 25 November 2013

Why Seven Years?

Happy Monday!  It was a bit of a struggle to get up this morning, but I'm telling you, I am debt-termined and the smell of the coffee already brewed helped get me out of bed.  I love programmable coffee makers!  Another free tip!

I think I've explained that we figure there is a 3 year or less time-line on getting out of debt.  We have calculated this based on Renaissance Man's past income, but there is another calculation based on the Biblical number "seven".  I have to admit, I have not necessarily done a serious study about all numbers in the Bible, but I know numbers in the Bible are significant. 

Just for example, the number "40" is all over the Bible.  Have you ever noticed this?  It rained for 40 days when Noah was in the ark.  When Moses was accused of killing the Egyptian man, he fled and lived in the land of Midian for 40 years before God used him to free the Israelites.  The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years.  King David reigned for 40 years.  King Solomon reigned for 40 years.  Jesus was tempted in the desert for 40 days.  Are you starting to see what I mean?  During the period of 40 days or years, God is often preparing a people or a person for ministry (such as Noah, Moses and Jesus).  When I was about to turn 40, I did read the Bible intentionally noticing how often the number forty came up and I was amazed.  I couldn't help but wonder how God had used my first 40 years and what he was going to do with my next 40 years.  I prayed in light of that knowing the significance of the age was no small thing and it actually got me excited about the age instead of depressed knowing I was getting older!

Seven is another interesting number in the Bible.  As a side note, last night some of our family went to the evening service at our church where a missionary from Lebanon spoke.  I love listening to missionaries.  What always amazes me is they do the work of several men and women - none of this 7 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week stuff.  Not only did he wear multiple hats, i.e., he was a church planter, a discipler, an evangelist, etc, but he also was a song writer!  He brought his guitar and played one song in particular he's written about King Nebuchadnezzar who was cast out into a field with wild animals and became like a wild animal right after he proclaimed, "Look how great Babylon is!  I built it as my capital city to display my power and might, my glory and majesty!"  Wrong thing to say.  The next thing you know for 7 years he is a beast.  At the end of the 7 years "he acknowledges that the Supreme God has power over the human kingdoms and can give them to anyone he chooses."  (Daniel 4:32)

There is a pattern in scripture with the number 7.  It seems to be connected to a time of slavery, indebtedness, and in Nebuchadnezzar's case, punishment.

When I went back to look more closely at this command in Deuteronomy and Leviticus, it was very interesting.  Deut. 15:1,4,9, says, "At the end of every seventh year you are to cancel the debts of those who owe you money."  And, almost to calm any Israelite who is panicking, thinking,  "Someone will take advantage of this law and borrow at the last minute, then I'll get ripped off, forget it", God says, "The Lord your God will bless you in the land that he is giving you.  Not one of your people will be poor if you obey him and carefully observe everything that I command you today.....Do not refuse to lend him something, just because the year when debts are cancelled is near.   Do not let such an evil thought enter your mind.  If you refuse to make the loan, he will cry out to the Lord against you, and you will be held guilty."

A little further down in verse 12 and 15, "If a fellow Israelite sells himself or herself to you as a slave, you are to release them after they have served you for six years.  When the seventh year comes, you must let them go free....Remember, that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God set you free, that is why I am now giving you this command." 

Do you see?  God said it himself why he even gives these commands.  This is why I love scripture so much.  He spells it out for us because he knows we need to be reminded why the laws are even there.  He knows we would forget and start doing it mechanically with no thought to why we do what we do. 

In Nebuchadnezzar's case, God knew 7 years would be a suitable punitive time period to teach him to never, ever again say he was higher than God and sure enough he says it himself, "When the seven years had passed, I looked up at the sky, and my sanity returned.  I praised the Supreme God and gave honour and glory to the one who lives forever."  Good thinking, Neb.  So it seems in this case God knew just how long it would take for him to learn his lesson so the mistakes he made wouldn't be made again.

In the case of the debts being cancelled and the slaves being set free, God wanted the Israelites to also never forget the slavery they themselves had been in.  It was also a matter of faith.  If they started thinking all selfishly and refused to help a poor brother, things would not go well for them.  But if they trusted God and still helped out a brother, he promised to take care of them - a true test of their faith in God's laws, wouldn't you say?

So, is it coincidence that we are in our 5th year of being hard core, really trying to get out of debt?  We look back and consider when we first bought the lot (that we built a house on) the beginning of this journey.  We have just over 2 years left in the 7 year journey which is interestingly what we thought it would take us to get out of debt completely. 

I needed to do my little numbers study for myself as Barry Cameron had mentioned seven years as his own personal goal to be debt-free as well.  Larry Burkett, another Christian financial guru, had used this slavery passage for his debt-free-time-line-reasoning.  The truth is, in many cases, I think anyone can get debt-free in a much shorter time, but I don't think those people are including the mortgage - this seven year idea is including the mortgage.  I think this is a very reasonable goal, especially if you are being as serious as we are intending to be.  Remember, God blessed Barry and it took him much less than that time frame, so I'm not stating this to mark a date in stone.  I'm saying it as more of an encouragement that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I think it is more the principle that is important here -

In our case, he wants Renaissance Man and myself to never, ever forget what slavery looks like.  He wants us to remember what the punishment of bad decisions feels like.  Once we are out of debt, may we be a generous people and always reflect on that time remembering God set us free not just from financial debt but spiritual debt through his son Jesus.  Before I grasped this, I actually felt quite hopeless.  I knew we were trying to get out of debt, but there was no time line, no end in sight, no feeling of hope.  Once RM and I got a hold of this thinking, for the first time we had hope - there was an end in sight.  So seven isn't a magic number, but I think it is God's way of saying - it isn't forever, there will be an end.

Friday 22 November 2013

The Multiplication Effect - Story 1

Once again, a lighter post - I think that Christmas one will last a long time....

We've started to notice some funny "coincidences" since we started this financial journey.  I have a series of, so far, 5 stories, but I'm expecting more to come, that I'll share as a form of encouragement to you to show you once again how merciful God is to us and how we are already experiencing the reaping of blessings now that we've decided to sow financial obedience. 

Normally, we would encounter a problem in our home with regards to storage or space issues and our way of solving the problem would be to just throw money at it to "solve" the problem.  This was solving the problem in one way, but certainly creating a very negative financial pattern as well as teaching our children to not think outside the box.  Now, to be completely honest, these stories I'm about to describe, were not our way of saving money, we weren't that smart yet!  It was after we had gone through them that we looked and saw the hand of God, over and over again.     

Story 1 - The Case of the Shrinking Family Room

We've started to struggle with space in our home, imagine that.  Ten people, some growing quite quickly all at the same time - it's incredible!  We all used to fit on the furniture we had, many little bottoms could sit side by side on the couch and even two on the smaller chairs, but no more.  So now we've had to resort to uncomfortable piano benches when we do family worship or on the floor which is no big deal, but when it is Mommy on the floor, she's less happy.

We had two more chairs we could have brought into the family room from the garage, but they were super-oversized for the space of our little family room and quite honestly, the room was so oddly shaped, there was just no way we could make it work to even please the eye (we do have some appreciation for that kind of thing!)  So we even tried to sell them, but no one was interested.

Then, right after we made the financial vows, we were sitting in that room, once again, fussing and stewing about what we could do, knowing that building a bigger house wasn't an option, when suddenly Renaissance Man's eyes got really big - "I've got it!"  he said.  I usually listen to him when he says things like that because he has an unusual gift for abstract thinking - he can picture things moved and imagine the space of the room without furniture in it, so I knew he was on to something good.

You have to try and picture this - a small, rectangular room, a large couch, and 4 chairs, 2 stools,  a hutch, 2 shelves and a grand piano to top it off!  How in the world would this all fit?? 

First, he moved the hutch out of the room into another sitting room we have on the other side of the house (which we were also struggling to fit in), then the brain wave - move the piano where the hutch had been - this opened up a whole bunch of space we had never noticed before and made the room more square making the furniture fit better solving both the seating problems as well as the "pleasing to the eye" problem.  Suddenly, even though there is a ridiculous amount of furniture in the room, it actually seems more spacious, yet cozy  (I don't think those two words normally go together, but it's true!)  Anyone who has come in since we changed it notices this and always comments on how much better it is and how much larger the room seems!

The two chairs from the garage that we'd been trying to sell now fit in the other sitting room meaning now we had more seating in there as well - glad we didn't sell them after all!   So now we have two new rooms with enough seating for everyone and then some!

We find ourselves in both rooms now all the time, just looking around, loving how we suddenly are more comfortable and together as a whole family and we didn't spend a dollar (or build a house).

Where is the miracle?  Well, this lack of space issue is something we've tried to figure out for over two years - we've sat there, we've talked about what to do, we've felt frustrated.  We've just never been able to see it, and that is with RM's ability to see things abstractly, so why now?  Why was he "suddenly" able to see it?  Well, I attribute it the Multiplication Effect (I just made that term up). 

Did you know that wherever God is, there is multiplication?  If you were to do a study on multiplication in the Bible you would see that God loves to multiply things -  from the very beginning of the world, the first command was to be fruitful and multiply.  Though the command is obviously talking about the multiplication of people, it is clear, as scripture continues, he is not just talking about babies!  In Deuteronomy, he tells the Israelites he will make them "plenteous in every work of your hand" as well (Deut. 30:9).  Where you see God's blessing on the Israelites, even in slavery, there was multiplication so much so that their numbers of people or flocks of animals could not be counted.  Multiplication is a sign of God's blessing and he is still in the business of multiplication, in my life and yours. 

As I sat there, in my new cozy, small, but large family room, I said to RM, "God did this.  He multiplied our space!  Don't you see?!"  It was yet another way he was showing us his pleasure in a very tangible way.  That's just story 1 - stay tuned for more......

Thursday 21 November 2013

Let's Get Practical

After yesterday's mega-post, I thought I might just be a little more bland today and write about something that happened earlier on in our journey.  If anything it shows that there is a challenging side to it. 

On a funnier note, two friends who aren't even keeping up with my daily entries, but are following along just by nature of seeing me fairly frequently, have decided they want to beat me up.  It was quite funny as I was sitting right there when one of them actually said this to the other one, "Why don't we just take her out back, beat her up and then just leave her in the shed."  I was laughing very hard, but told them someone might notice eventually that I was missing.  Oh well!  I told them I didn't recommend they start reading my blog and definitely not the post I wrote on Christmas.  They are very annoyed, bugged, irritated - and they've pretty much decided we can't be friends anymore unless I lay off on this penny pinching stuff.  They just can't do it, they say.  I don't blame them.  I told them they just aren't sick and tired enough yet.  We were and even if I'd received 100 evil comments yesterday as feedback, which I didn't, I still would have kept on.  So if you are starting to feel irritated, too, join the club!

Ok....Little by Little...a story about watching pennies.

Proverbs 13:11, "Dishonest money dwindles away,
    but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow."

This was a couple of weeks ago now when I was first deliberately watching the sales in the flyers.  I was super excited to head out to the grocery store to get a ton of cheese as we've discovered that dairy is probably one of the most expensive things on our list of groceries.  It was on a major sale and I had done my research, supposedly anyway, so I packed all the little ones into the van and off we went.  When cheese goes on sale, I typically by about 12 bricks of it and then freeze it and most times it lasts until the next sale.  It saves me nearly $40 if I do this.

One of our new vows, remember, is to not buy a single thing full price (within reason, I should add, more on that at another time).  I had been shopping this way for years to some degree, but if I really wanted a red pepper and it wasn't on sale, I would buy it anyway - well, no more.

The grocery store I went to was one of the higher end stores where you are definitely paying for the shopping experience as the lighting is lovely, the displays are impeccable and the smell of fresh bread is lofting through the air.  Not my typical experience as I tend to stay in the bargain grocery stores where you have to fight for your food.  Once I got to the cheese section I did see the classic sales slips everywhere, but not on the cheese I wanted!  What was going on!!?

I quickly grabbed someone who works there and asked him where the cheese was that was on sale - he tried to kindly remind me that the sales start on Thursday so I had missed it.  Honestly, I thought I was going to cry because that meant the milk I had put in my cart was also not on sale.  Picture this, it was only 66 cents more to buy the milk there, but I had made a vow and I was determined to watch my pennies now.....oh, I needed that milk!  Remember when I went out for coffee here and there, spending pennies only, or so I thought, and it had added up to some exorbitant amount?  So I walked back, seriously feeling tears in my eyes, and put the milk back on the shelf.

This meant the kitty litter was also not on sale, but I walked over there anyway and I picked up some small bag of no name litter that amazingly was on sale and went to the check out.  #6 asked me, "So all we're getting is kitty litter and mushrooms?"  (the mushrooms were on a super sale!)  "Yup.  Just kitty litter and mushrooms." 

Now maybe cheese will go on sale next week somewhere else, but it might not.  I use cheese a lot and this was new for me, to be willing to go without it until it went back on sale, but it is obviously about so much more than having a cheese-free diet.  It was about checking my determination to get debt-free, was I willing to sacrifice even in the area of cheese????  See, I've looked at flyers before, but again, I've been kind of lazy about it - I didn't even check the dates of the sale!  A serious sales shopper would have known to check the dates!  I would have known the sales always start on Thursday!  It revealed once again, how I've always just bought whatever I want whenever I want.

The kids always unload the van when I get home from the store.  They actually don't mind as they get to see what we get to eat that week and if I've bought anything "good".  When #3 came out to the van to unload, I said, "I didn't get anything.  I missed the sale."  "What?!"  he yelled.  "What are we going to eat for dinner!!?"  he asked in a panicked voice!  You see, it was dinner time when I got home.  (Here's a tip, never shop right at dinner time.)

So, I start praying - Lord, what can we eat for dinner?  I knew I didn't have enough leftovers from a casserole I'd made at lunch for everyone, so I went scrounging through the fridge and amazingly I found a bowl of fresh vegetables I'd cut up earlier on in the week that I quickly stir-fried into a side dish.  Then I found a bowl of beans (which my younger ones love) and warmed that up for them.  Then I found some cheese and garlic and quickly made stuffed mushroom caps as another side dish for Renaissance Man.  The older kids finished off the casserole as there was enough for them.  When RM walked in for dinner it smelled wonderful and I had only spent $1 on the mushrooms.  A little dinner miracle was what I had needed.  It felt good to use up what was in the fridge instead of letting it go to waste.

So, this is the new me - ready and willing to make what seems like a small sacrifice in the big picture - give up cheese until it goes on sale.

The verse from Proverbs at the top of the page says, "...but whoever gains money little by little makes it grow"!!!!  I had never even read this before.  It may as well say count your pennies, because that really is the littlest financial unit, isn't it?  To think that could make our money grow?  This I gotta see.  So now, I even have Biblical support to be a little tightwad.  This means the reverse is also true and this is my translation of the verse backwards, "Money gained through honest, hard-working means will not dwindle away, but will in fact remain in your account, growing all the time, but whoever spends money little by little, say, at coffee shops, thinking it won't matter, is wrong - it will dwindle away at an astounding rate!"  That is the New International Penny Pinching Version.  The Bible speaks such wisdom.  How sad it took me so long to listen.  I know now that it is these small decisions are what make the difference down the road, so I will continue to count my pennies.

On a side note, it was only the following week the cheese went on sale - I bought a lot.

Wednesday 20 November 2013

What about Christmas????

Sorry, sorry, sorry - for so many reasons.  I'm tackling a really hard topic here and in order to do this well, it's going to take some time and I really wanted whoever reads this to understand how I got to where I did, so I apologize in advance for the topic and even the length of the post!  Do not feel like you have to read this all at once - you could be here all day!  Read it when you have a larger chunk of time, with no interruptions and please, maybe even pray about what you are about to read even before you read it as the enemy is going to come at you and make you hate me and all that you are about to read! :) So take it in, slowly, prayerfully and see if what you read makes any sense at all.......

I was trying to avoid thinking about this one.  Every year it is the same - summer is over, it seems, for just a few days and suddenly there are Christmas decorations!!  It has to be getting earlier and earlier and according to a friend of mine who just went over the border this past weekend, it is.  The border guard told her that is exactly what is happening...no longer is it just after the American Thanksgiving holiday....the Christmas shopping madness is starting way before that now.  It is no wonder that I start feeling stress and want to get all the shopping done in October to avoid that feeling of being so overwhelmed by all that I have to do. 

But now we're trying to get out of debt and seriously out of debt, as in pronto.  Wouldn't Christmas kind of slow that down?  Well, of course it would, but in the name of keeping the magic of Christmas, there is NO WAY, and I mean NO WAY, I'm taking the gifts out.....right????  Please say right.

So for days now I've been trying to have RM sit down to discuss this as I need to know what we're going to do so as to avoid the stress levels that will start to rise as December approaches.  He was often too busy to sit down and have the full conversation I needed, so I just kept putting little thoughts in his head so he would start thinking about it himself. 

Meanwhile, my kids are involved in an amazing program that has them memorize whole books of the Bible and then four times a year they have a tournament where they quiz against other kids who have done the same.  I don't honestly know how they do it, but in a matter of weeks they've memorized the book of James.  They'll use a variety of techniques, but one of the ways is through the use of a cd that we'll listen to over and over again in the van as we drive.  A truly incredible benefit of this is that not only do I hear it all day, but the little ones do as well, including my three year old.  I must try to include a little video some day of him spouting off the first four verses of James 1.  It is absolutely the sweetest thing....but I digress.......

Back to James.  As I waited for RM to sit with me, chapters 4 and 5 of James kept playing over and over in my head.  Believe it or not, but this is the second time we've memorized this book.  The first time was four years ago when we weren't Bible Quizzing, and it certainly impacted our family, but there were a lot of verses I memorized that I knew just didn't apply to me, so we memorized them anyway, but just kind of skipped over any life application part when we read certain verses.

This time, something different was happening when I read those verses.  In fact, something has been happening to me for some time now, especially since we started to kill debt with a vengeance.  I can't help but read Scripture in light of what we're doing.  Often I read Scripture this way.  Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Now, please keep in mind, this is what God is speaking to me and my family, so don't go all crazy on me, just read as an outside observer.  If God wants to speak to you in the same way, he'll confirm it through his word to you as well.

Ok, so James 5 was one of the passages I loved to read thinking it did not apply to me,

"Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you.  Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes.  Your gold and silver are corroded.  Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire.  You have hoarded wealth in the last days.  Look!  The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you.  The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.  You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence.  You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.  You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you."

See what I mean?  I wasn't rich, at least relatively speaking, so I automatically skipped over the rest of the passage.  I didn't have gold and silver.  I certainly had no workmen crying against me, no harvesters at my door.  I was real glad I hadn't condemned or murdered anyone.  But that was the way I thought 4 years ago. 

This time, as I listened to it, I started to cringe.  One day as I played the cd in the van, I stopped it and quickly said to the kids - this whole passage could be about debt!  But it talks about murder?  That can't be us.  But then I asked them, do you really think there were all sorts of dead people lying around when James wrote this or could it be he was speaking not just to murderers, but to those who have metaphorically murdered?  If in fact he is only speaking to murderers then I get to skip over this passage and a whole lot of other passages in the Bible, but I don't think that is how the Bible is supposed to work, right?  When I read it, I truly try to think how each passage in the WHOLE Bible applies to me. 

So in light if this, how have we condemned and murdered??  How about our bank account - it should be alive and thriving, but, well, it's not.  How about an inheritance for my children?  Have I left one or have I been living in self-indulgence?  What about murdering peace in our lives?

I don't think it is a stretch to say I've "condemned and murdered innocent men" - who are these "innocent men" - how about the grandchildren that will come one day.  By "living in luxury", am I not establishing a pattern that will ultimately ruin them?  If my children learn about money from me and see all my patterns, then they will automatically pass these on to my grandchildren, won't they, these innocent children who aren't even born yet?  Is that not condemning them to a life of stress and debt before they even enter the world?

Where am I going with all this....

I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas shopping.  I love buying my children things that represent each part of their personality or skill-set.  I love seeing them happy.  I love seeing them excited about the wonder of what is under the tree.  I, uh, love getting gifts myself.

What I hate is the stress I start feeling at the, don't laugh, end of October beginning of November.  I hate trying to make RM sit down and help me work through what it will look like.  He hates how much more I want to spend and how I go way over budget year after year.  He hates watching me drive, no joke, all over the map to get a good deal, leaving at all times of the day, having to work out child-care, being gone hours at a time, not to mention the gas spent......just to get home, wrap for several more hours, put under a tree, get it ripped open - then, the little ones, who haven't quite learned contentment complain there are no more gifts, the older ones are quite content, but are amazed when they see a toy break soon after Christmas Day or we notice the special toy sitting on a shelf un-used only weeks after Christmas. 

It's like the verse in James, "Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes.  Your gold and silver are corroded.  Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire." 

Would it be a safe translation to say, "You've overspent creating more debt and even though you have more stuff, it isn't really yours.  The stuff you do have is about to break or sit unused on a shelf.  That broken stuff is going to create more stress in your life and will affect you emotionally, mentally and even physically."?

RM was sick these last few days which helped me - I had him cornered!  He didn't feel like getting off the couch, so I trapped him and once again brought up the conversation he loves to avoid - Christmas and Christmas spending - what were we going to do????  I had to know once and for all, sick or not sick.

It was a hard conversation and it didn't start off pretty because RM has always wanted to take Christmas down a notch and I never have.  He's always wanted to stay on a budget and I always want to make sure everyone is, let's say, well taken care of (including me!)  Put it this way, we haven't seen eye to eye on this matter for 18 years.  I teach younger women to submit to their husbands all the time, but it never occurred to me that this was an area I was not submitting to him in, until I read James again with him that morning.  

Listen to this, "What causes quarrels and fights among you?  Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?  You want something but don't get it.  You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want.  You quarrel and fight.  You do not have, because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.  You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?  Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.  Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us ENVIES INTENSELY?  But he gives more grace." (4:4-6)

I have had multiple layers on my eyes and another layer came down that day.  Suddenly I saw what I was doing, why we'd been "quarreling and fighting", struggling for years with the Christmas issue, because I wanted something and I wasn't getting it.  I didn't think of it as coveting, but I guess it really was.  I was really "killing" (I know that sounds harsh, but I think in a way, it is true) RM by making him carry a financial load he wasn't prepared to handle and by giving into me year after year, I helped us dig a pit deeper and deeper.  Oh, well the Bible says, I should just ask God for what I want and he'll give it to me - wrong.  I'm not receiving because I've been asking wrongly - I just want to spend what I want, when I want, any time I want "on my pleasures" even if it isn't just for me, but for my kids. 

Another ouch - suddenly I saw it.  My behaviour was really reflecting friendship with the world, and even associated me with adulterous people.  This behaviour says I'm an enemy of God.  But, but, but....I wanted to cry out.

But then again, I'm reminded of what Paul Washer, one of our favourite preachers, says - God is a jealous God, he "envies intensely" and he "gives more grace".  This simply means, he saw me way off, not just a little off, the path, and he reached out with his long arm of grace and he has been trying, probably for years, to get me back on the path, but this was the first year I heard him and saw him reaching out to me.  I'd been quenching the spirit's voice for years.  Now, as James says in 4:17, I knew what to do and "anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."  Nooooooooo!!!!!!    But yes!!!!  There is freedom coming!  Suddenly, everything was clear and I knew what we needed to do!

What then?  Do we just throw Christmas away forever?  I don't think we throw it away forever, but we knew we couldn't do what we've done in the past, how could we, especially if there was still debt in our lives.  After reading these passages together, I had my moment of epiphany and I apologized to RM for all the years I had ignored him in this area of Christmas.  I really am a fairly submissive wife, honest!  But I'd never seen this until that day.  Oh, the process of sanctification is painful, isn't it?

Then we called all the kids together and we shared with them how memorizing James was impacting not only them, but us as well!  We brought up the area of Christmas in particular and they started to wonder where it was going!  But they agreed, something drastic had to change, at least for our family, for this year and maybe until the debt is all gone. Christmas is about Christ, coming to set us FREE, not put us in more bondage, yet year after year it was just that, oh, the irony!

First we thought just a smaller budget, but it still felt like we really shouldn't even be spending at all when there is still debt on our shoulders.  Then we thought, no gifts.  Pause for effect.  No gifts.  We looked up wondering what their reactions would be - "Sure, yeah, that makes sense."  What?  No crying?  No fighting us?  Nothing.  They completely understood - immediately.  One of them admitted he was a little disappointed, but was completely on-board.  I couldn't believe it.  But they knew James backwards and forwards, too.  None of this was new information.  If anything, they grasped it before I did.

The next day, that same son, came down and said, "Listen to this, Mom," - and he quoted James 1:22-25, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves (I'd been doing this for years!).  Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what is says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."  He said, "We can't just say we want to get out of debt and then go and spend all sorts of money."  I was very proud.  He got it.

For those who are now panicking, thinking we are legislating this for all families, even those who are in debt, we are not.  Let me make this perfectly clear.  This is just what our family has decided - for this year.  We are not sure exactly how this will play out this year or next year or how long this is in place.  We are taking it a day at a time.  We know gifts will come from other places (i.e. grandparents, etc) and we'll take 'em!  :)  We know others long to bless us and we aren't legalistically saying no gifts in any form just to make a point.  I think that would exasperate our children.  No, we are saying, for a time, we are trying to take God at his word and by doing this the Bible promises, we "will be blessed in what he does", meaning we don't know what it will look like, but we feel we've been overspending for years and by not spending we actually think we'll be more blessed!  Think about it. 

As soon as we'd made the decision to lay low on the gifts this year, a peace, a freedom, came over me that I've never experienced at this time of year - suddenly all panic was gone.  Suddenly I didn't have to take the hours it sometimes takes, to shop, to talk with RM about budget, about lists of gifts, about childcare, about when I'd go out to do all the shopping - this has freed up literally DAYS for me this season.  Think of all the things I can do now with that time!  Perhaps this year, I'll really, really celebrate the freedom Christ has brought to me!  It is amazing!

If you are wondering, I'm still going to decorate - I love decorating.  I will still take the kids to Christmasy events (there are a lot of free events out there this time of year).  I'll still make a turkey (we have tons of frozen ones in the freezer, our own!)  I will still give handmade gifts to neighbours and family.  But we'll just not dip into the bank anymore because quite frankly, there just isn't a budget for it and I've pretended there was (do I sound like a broken record?) for YEARS!!!!!

Hey, I'll put this out there, if you like challenges, join us in this radical statement, but always be careful in your approach.  We don't dictate these types of things to our children and I wouldn't recommend that you do this either.  It must be done in a loving conversation, with everyone together, prayerfully and with Biblical reasoning, not just because it's the new fad.  If you do decide to do this, be warned, you might just experience the same freedom I am!

Monday 18 November 2013

Debt isn't Always Financial

One of the most interesting things my eyes have been opened up to on this journey so far is that debt isn't just in the area of money.  Oh no, once my spiritual eyes were awakened, suddenly I was seeing debt everywhere.  Let me give you a few illustrations.

I try to get up early in the morning, earlier than my kids.  This is when I write, pray, work out, enjoy a quiet coffee, etc.  Then, ideally anyway, the kids will follow a little bit later.  This is when they read and memorize scripture and then after this we all eat breakfast together followed by chores and then school.  Obviously there is only one of me, so I purchased alarm clocks many years ago so I wouldn't have to go around waking children up, plus I wanted them to learn the discipline of waking up all by themselves.

Needless to say, this is the ideal, and once in awhile, they just decide they've had enough and they completely ignore their alarm clocks and sleep in.  By this point, I'm well into what I'm trying to accomplish downstairs and I don't go get them (which is laziness on my part to be honest).  When I finally decide to follow through, I'm already feeling a little agitated, shall we say.  Therefore I might not go in quite as sweetly to remind them it is time to start their day.

Once they do struggle downstairs, everything is now behind anywhere from a half hour to an hour.  We've officially "borrowed" from the next thing on the schedule.  We are now "in debt" to the next chore, or subject or whatever is supposed to be next on the schedule.   See what I mean?  I call it Schedule Debt.

How 'bout this one?  At night, after dinner, again, we are supposed to clean the kitchen and clean it 100%, but again, in my laziness, I see the kids have done it, "good enough", so even though I know they didn't do it 100%, I say fine, good enough - but then, the next morning when I'm supposed to start with a fresh, clean sink, I often come down to a couple unwashed pots, stragglers of dishes all over the counters they somehow missed, crumbs still on the floor and it feels like I'm a whole meal behind on clean up.  In a large family, getting behind on one meal of dishes sometimes means there aren't dishes for the next meal!  We have once again borrowed from the next meal which puts us in debt to the dishes we need.  It takes time to wash the ones we need, it takes energy which I only have enough of, it seems, for one cleanup at a time.  Again, it leads to a feeling of frustration and then the kids are left with a grumpy mommy, snappy requests, short answers.  This is Kitchen Debt.

So it goes throughout a mother's day - our children, ourselves - we borrow against the day all the time!   How many times have you heard a mother say, even yourself, in a downtrodden, discouraging voice, "We just had one of those mornings...."  The implication is that it was a bad morning.  Why,  I want to know.  I know there are things, in fact a lot of things, that are out of control in a morning - sick kids, bad weather, bad nights, but what about all the things we can control, but just don't take the time to because, like me, we are just too lazy and we'd rather use a "line of Kitchen Credit or Schedule Credit" than be disciplined and train our children.  Oooooo, now I'm walking on thin ice, aren't I?  But, remember I'm speaking to myself, too, not just to some mom out there who is already feeling guilty. 

I am now attempting a new pattern, a new way of thinking....just starting out, mind you.  The new mindset looks like this:   Borrowing against the day is almost like taking something that isn't yours to take.  Is that a stretch?  Well, isn't borrowing money like taking something that isn't yours?  Perhaps to say it is stealing is a stretch, but the Bible does say that the borrower is slave to the lender, so, at the very least, those of us who borrow become slaves to the rest of our day - we feel behind, we feel angry, we feel guilty, frustrated.  We start taking all of the above feelings out on our kids, who really don't know why Mommy is so frustrated - aren't we the ones who are responsible ultimately for their training?

Like I said earlier, I've always tried to get up before my kids, but have often failed if I just don't feel like it.  This new way of thinking has changed everything for me.  Now my alarm clock will go off and even if I've had a good night, I still lay there thinking, there is no way it's time to get up.  No way!  I immediately ask myself - what in the world am I doing?  Then the thoughts start to come to me - don't lay here, you will be behind in your day - this is debt.  Get up.  Get downstairs.  Remember how well yesterday went because you got up.  Remember how badly the other day went because you didn't get up.  The goal, keep in mind the goal - we want to be debt-free in every area of our lives. You can do this!  And so up I get!

Once I'm downstairs, moving and even working out, I'm fine.  It's just the fight to get out of bed.  Lord, give me the strength to do this!  It is hard.  I need your grace, your vision for the goal you have for my family.   Press on, dear sisters-in-Christ and fellow mothers!  Be wary of Kitchen Debt, Schedule Debt and any other debt that comes to mind (I've got more to describe at another time....)  We can do this!

Friday 15 November 2013

The First Tests

You had to know this post was coming -

Remember, it hadn't seemed so bad????  Well, it seemed like it wasn't going to be so bad, trusting God to help us to stay disciplined, but we knew better.  I had warned the kids the day we decided to do this that we would get tests and probably right away.  I was right.

I get invited to homeschool field trips fairly regularly and if they are close to me and of interest, almost regardless of cost, I sign up.  And so I did, as soon as the Chocolate Factory field trip came across my screen, though it was quite costly, I didn't even think about it.  Earlier on in the month, before we made the vows, I also signed us up to hear the latest homeschool phenomenon who is being compared to Celine Dion.  She was coming to a local church near us and the tickets were quite reasonable, but not when you added up how many of us would be going.  Now I had decisions to make and I didn't like that.  These weren't supposed to be tests for me, but for the kids. 

As for the chocolate factory, I thought, ok, I'll back out of that, but I won't tell the kids I've done that, as I hadn't told them about the trip yet anyway, so less pain.  As for the singer, I thought I would get the kids' opinions and see what their reactions would be.

Each morning, in our homeschool, we start the day with prayer and often I will bring a passage of scripture that the Lord has used to speak to me.  This time it was the passage in Malachi 3:9, 10, "You are under a curse - the whole nation of you - because you are robbing me.  Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  Test me in this, "says the Lord, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."   Apparently, this is the only passage in scripture where God says you can test him and it is in the area specifically related to finances.  I explained this to them.  They were listening intently.

That's when I brought in the kicker - what should we do about field trips?  No response.  Then I asked specifically about the singer.  At this point, a sleepy #4 had just entered the room and was just getting in on the conversation.  I asked the oldest girl, who loves music and was very much looking forward to seeing this girl sing, what she thought.  Should we go?  No, she shook her head.  As I looked across the room and asked Miss Sleepy, there were already tears in her eyes - no, she said quietly, through her tears.  It ripped my heart out, but I was so proud to see they were getting it.

Then, somewhat without intending to, I brought up the chocolate factory field trip - another HUGE favourite for my oldest daughter, and told her I had taken us of the list.  This one hurt even more! 

When a friend of mine heard this story she asked me, "What?  No field trips?  How can you do that?!"  "Don't you see?" I told her, "This is the problem!  We've never said no!  We've always said yes which is how we find ourselves in this predicament in the first place!!!!" 

Another friend reminded me of what Dave Ramsey calls "blow money".  This is where you set aside a very small amount of cash to spend on the odd thing here or there, such as a coffee out or perhaps even a little resaurant treat, or whatever it is you think you must have while you are on the journey of paying down debt.  The idea being that you won't lose your mind if you have that little out once in awhile.  When I mentioned that to RM, he laughed - uh, no - we spent that blow money ages ago!

For the first time, and I think I really mean first, in our lives, we were actually practising (get ready for this, it's kind of a rude word).....self-denial.  There I said it.  Out loud.  I do not think that word is even used anymore, nor understood, or even practised.  Why?  Because it means you can't have something when you want it!  WHAT????!!!  Impossible.  Oh yes.  It means delaying gratification.  WHAT??!!  You mean to say, I can't have something right away?  But what if I really want it?  No.  This is just too much to take in, isn't it? 

Well, it was for me to until I realized the damage it causes to give in, to not practise restraint, especially if you are using the bank's money - it slowly, kind of like plaque on teeth (sorry, gross example, but true) builds up and guess what - it causes a cavity or damage that you don't see, but one day you feel pain and sometimes, at this point, the damage can be irreversible - a house can get taken away, bankruptcy can be filed - it's ugly.  If you only brush occasionally and never floss, spending not too much, but little self-denial, then you'll get warning signs that something is wrong - pain here and there, signs of stress slowly showing itself in your life.  However, if you pay attention to the daily brushings, to take the analogy a bit further, and maybe even be so disciplined to floss (imagine!), then you'll never have to see that dentist and you'll be left with a set of teeth you own, your very own teeth! 

Galatians has much to say on this.  Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived:  God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.  The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sow to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."  So you see, sowing to please my sinful nature can ultimately lead to destruction, financial and spiritual.  It just isn't worth it to me anymore.  I will not give in! - too much is at stake, my husband's hard-earned money, my children's souls and any future spending habits they pick up from me....this is what keeps me going and staying on track.

Now the truth is, we do hope and pray that one day we will be out of debt, so, before you feel too sorry for us and think we are denying our children fun field trips, I did tell them that once we are out of debt, there are a few field trips we will do right away!  Going to the chocolate factory will definitely be one of them, probably the first!  As well, the first cd we'll buy or the first concert we'll go to will be that homeschool singer's!  But knowing how God works, the singer will probably coincidentally be singing in our town the week we get out of debt and the chocolate factory will have some huge chocolate sale that same week.

So, the tests are coming, fast and furious - they are child-size and adult-size, but we are taking them one by one and the Lord is getting the victory.  Praise God!

Thursday 14 November 2013

The First Blessings

God is good.  Do you know what I mean?  I'm not just saying that tritely.  I mean God is good because we are so pathetic and he knows this.  Why do I say this?  Well, back when we were making these financial vows, right then and there, he could have struck down all the frozen meat we had in the freezer and turned it into beans and said, "It's about time you got the message I've been trying to send you and just to prove it - no more meat until you've fulfilled your vows!"  But that is not what happened at all - no, in fact it was quite the opposite. 

It seems he knew we were serious about them and right away he wanted to say, good job, you finally get it.  He confirmed it right away by taking us out for dinner!  What?!  That's right.  My brother's new in-laws had set this up weeks ago, to take all our families to one of the nicest Chinese restaurants in Toronto.  They didn't know we were no longer going to restaurants, but God did.  He knows how much we all love going out to eat and it was no ordinary meal.  It was lobster, beef, specialty everything it seemed.  It was no cheap affair, let me tell you, but it was entirely covered by them as a gesture to all of us. What a blessing.  And this was just one week into our vows - wow.  This isn't so hard!

On top of that,  when we went to hear Barry Cameron speak, someone saw our large family and handed us 4 Tim Horton's gift cards, instead of the usual one, just because we were guests!  We had no idea not how much each was worth at the time and they had no idea vows were about to be made that said no more coffee at Tim Horton's, but God did.  It turned out the gift cards were enough to allow the whole family to benefit, not just RM and me.  Another huge blessing!  Is this not how God works, though?  When we sow obedience, do we not reap generously?  That's what the Bible says and we were already starting to experience this first hand.

So far, this vow thing wasn't so bad......

Wednesday 13 November 2013

Deception and Pride - ouch!

Like I said earlier, we started this journey over 4 years ago, but only kicked it up to that new level of seriousness just 3 weeks ago.  In that short period of time, many things have struck us.

First of all, in a way, we really had been sort of lying to ourselves for years- even though we'd done so many hard things in the name of getting out of debt, we had never truly been 100% serious about getting out of debt.  We had thought we were being serious, but we were deceived.  Ramsey often says to those who call into his show, complaining about not being able to get out of debt or reduce their spending any more, that they shouldn't even see the inside of a restaurant unless they work there. We were not working in any restaurants, but we often saw the inside of them.  We justified our self-indulgence by saying it wasn't a fancy restaurant, just a few dollars, here and there, but then I added up last month's receipts and surprise, surprise, dollars here and there added up to over, uh, let's just say, it was way more than we thought - that blew us away as we really thought it was nothing. 

I'm not really looking at the time when we were building the house - I think we were doing all that we could at that time.  It was a very hard time for us.  I had two babies in that period of time, we moved at least 6 times in less than 2 years, while pregnant or with newborns, and so those little trips to a coffee shop or a restaurant kept me from losing my mind and my husband knew how fragile I was feeling already, so he was very wise and sensitive to allow a few treats now and then.  So I'm not really referring to that period of time, more of the time before that and since then.

Secondly, we were living in a form of pride.  Like I said earlier, we had thought we were doing really well, living this supposed frugal life, but the problem was we were wrongfully comparing ourselves to others who, perhaps, were not living so frugally.  Therefore, compared to them, we were doing great!  Wrong.  Going over all areas of spending quickly showed just how self-indulgent we were.

I highly recommend this by the way - either go over your bank statement at the end of the month and categorize your spending, every single penny spent that is or keep track of all your receipts, and I mean all, including trips to a dollar store, and track where every single dollar goes.  If you have never done this, it will be a nice reality check for those of you who live in an alternate reality!  This blesses your husband, too, if he is the only one working outside the home.  It accounts for every minute he works and puts a value to each minute.   Do you see what I mean?  Otherwise, it's as if he's working for what?  He doesn't even know what he's working for - in other words, you can show him what
his efforts have literally provided (or wasted - ouch....)  For example - he provided $xxxxx for groceries, and $xxxxx for restaurants and $xxxxx for library fines (that's what my husband was working for - my bad.)  Suddenly, he might not be so impressed that he's been providing for certain things or on the other hand, he might be really appreciative of how respectful you are of his labours - you should find out - like I said, it might surprise you. 

I do not think this is going to be an easy ride.  That is one of the reasons I want to share this so badly with others.  I want to show others how hard this is going to be, but with the goal in mind, that it is worth all the sacrifices along the way.  I've already had a couple of down moments where I think, this is going to take forever - maybe it's not worth it...let's eat, drink and be merry!  But immediately, if RM or I start talking like that, one of us will quickly step in and remind the other, we never want to go back.  Debt sucks the life out of you and is this ever-present burden we want lifted.

Just as a side note, one of the fantastic benefits of being debt-free will be the ability to be generous.  Barry shared many stories about how he can now basically give away money whenever he feels led by the Lord to do so, from the single-mom working in a restaurant, to the cashier at McDonalds at Christmas-time, he now is able to not hold back due to unpaid bills, etc.  I long for this, but often feel inhibited.  There are so many more benefits, this is just one.

Well, we press on......May God get the glory all along the way.

Tuesday 12 November 2013

The Suburbs Meets Country

Ok, a brief intro as to who we all are and then right into it...

I am a mom of eight awesome children ages 15 years down to 18 months, five boys and three girls.  People wonder what it is like to have a large family - the truth is sometimes I am pulling my hair out, but other times like a couple days ago, they had me laughing so hard I was crying, so I really do love them dearly and the more kids we have the more the variety of experiences we have in our home...

I am married to Renaissance Man who literally is that - he can do just about everything.  I can count on one hand the times we've hired someone to come in to fix something - it just never happens, RM can do it all.  And don't laugh, he can paint (I have paintings of his in our home, in the basement, mind you...), he can do stained glass, play guitar, speak German and French, and all things artistic so he definitely has his artsy side.  As well, he's an engineer, so he's all scientific-like and always pulling out a science lesson or helping with the math, so he's got the left brain thing going on, too.  The name Renaissance Man just seemed to fit.  When we met, he had a porsche, a sailboat, and a steady job.  Now we drive a 12 passenger van, the sailboat's been gone for years and he's got his own business, but it's a way better life.  He's the perfect man for me....18 years and counting.

We've all recently (in the last 4 years) moved from a suburban city to a 47 acre farm where we have cows, horses, chickens, a dog, cats, birds and up until a couple of weeks ago, pigs and turkeys (need I say more, our freezer is full).  I love our new country life and all its challenges as do the kids and especially my husband who sometimes amazes me with how much he enjoys it despite the hard work that it brings. 

When we lived in the city, we were heavily into mortgage debt.  We had listened to Dave Ramsey, the famous author of The Total Money Makeover, who had daily radio shows about getting out of debt.  One of the ways he suggested was to sell stuff you had in order to pay it off.  We had done this.  We needed something bigger to sell. We decided we would build something to sell - a house!  The long story short is that is what we did.  It did sell and it reduced our mortgage significantly as well as helped us to buy the farm where we are now living.

We patted ourselves on the back for lowering it as much as we did.  We had also done quite a few things over the past four years that we thought was a good attempt at frugal living - less restaurants, buying food things in bulk, learning to shop in thrift stores, buying groceries on sale, looking at the flyers, etc.  We thought we were doing pretty good.  But why were we always feeling like there was nothing left when RM would get paid?  He worked and worked so hard, often physically as well as mentally, many hours a day - for what?  It seemed so pointless when it was always spoken for and when there was nothing left to do, not just necessary things on the house, but fun things with the kids or vacations or renovations. 

Then one day my friend told me about Barry Cameron coming to give a talk at her church.  He became well-known in the U.S. for first getting himself out of debt, then his church (he pastors a large church in Texas), and now he's planting churches all over the U.S. debt-free.  I told my friend I wanted to go.  I told RM  I wanted to go and that I thought it would be really helpful to see him live, to receive new inspiration to get debt-free.  At first RM hesitated because of the long drive, but then he agreed, so we went.

Nothing Barry said that day was particularly new.  I think it was more that the Holy Spirit was both working in us and we were both sick and tired of being sick and tired.  We had a chance to talk with Barry briefly after his talk and he described his own trial with debt, how he made a plan to get out of debt in 7 years, but how God blessed it and he got out in two.  Lord, how we wanted that!

It was only a day or two later that he and I really sat down and talked about how that would look.  Suddenly it occurred to me, I was willing to be really hard core so I said that to RM and he asked, "How hard core?"  I started to list off things I loved to do, from having a coffee date out with him, to annual overnights for our anniversary, to resaturants, to even the occasional glass of wine we enjoyed together - I was willing to give it ALL up, until the mortage was paid off - that was it!  Immediately I felt freedom, anticipation, joy as I suddenly couldn't wait to take on this challenge.  RM decided he was willing to be just as hard core. 

We approached the kids, sharing our thoughts, our dreams, our regrets even.  We had failed them as parents in some ways, made bad decisions earlier on in our marriage that was now affecting them, (the two main regrets, by the way, were buying too much house early on and leasing a car which we've never done since) but as we repented and asked God for forgiveness, they also got caught up in our enthusiasm and decided they, too, could be on board.  Thus our journey to debt-free living truly began in earnest once again.   We'd been "gazelle" intense, as Ramsey puts it, when we built the house, but we had now ramped it up to "cheetah" intense.  We were going in for the kill.

We evaluated every expense in our budget from phone to insurance and made all sorts of changes saving us 1000s of dollars a year.  Then, onto the vows.  Our financial vows were pretty simple and I'll share them, but please don't feel sorry for us!  We are excited about this challenge and we know this is only for a season.  We are not imposing these on you or anyone else.  These are vows we've made and the kids are fully understanding what we're up to.  They also know, once we're out of debt, paid off mortgage, everything, then these vows will be re-evaluated and then the cash will be there if and when we want to do things, we'll be able to!  Are you ready for this?

1.  No more restaurants - none, not even a coffee at a drive-thru. 
2.  No more new clothes unless we got them on sale at a thrift store (we just happen to have one down the street that has $1 sales on clothes every few months!). 
3.  No more haircuts - Mom's doing 'em (I'd been doing the boys' hair already and the girls' hair is long)
4.  No more field trips that cost money and even if they're free, we'll  have to evaluate the gas as it is pricey! 
5.  Definitely no more overnights or hotels.  Sigh, this one was hard for me.
6.  I will not pay full price for any grocery item - everything has to be on sale 100%.
7.  No credit cards.  I haven't ever had one, but if I need one, I can use RM's.  No more.

There may be more, but those are the main ones where we were leaking money.  Anyone else care to join us in these nutty vows?!

Our timeline is a faith timeline.  We could conceivably do this in our own strength in three years, but we're asking God for a miracle and that once again, he gets all the glory, not us.  It is up to us to do our part, so that's what we're doing.

Monday 11 November 2013

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired


For some time now I have thought of writing a blog.  I've been writing in a journal for literally years, since I was around 9 years old and quite regularly at that, so it kind of seemed like a natural progression to go into the blogosphere, but to what end? 

As a mom of eight, there is rarely time to sit down and even think about blogging - add another thing to my list of things to do?  It seemed impossible.  As it stands, if and when I journal now, it is somewhere between the early hours of 5 and 6 in the morning and even then, most of my "posts" get cut off due to a baby waking up or some other interruption. 

But then something happened to me, to my husband, to our family, that reawakened my desire to blog.  One day we decided enough was enough - we were sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

We are your average, well, at least in homeschool circles, family of ten, carrying perhaps even less debt than the average family, but debt nonetheless - mortgage debt, in particular.  Does it really matter how much though?  Isn't all debt a burden in some way?  We thought so, but even though we'd been managing, it really felt more like surviving as opposed to thriving.  We've known this for a long time, a long time.....and we'd made changes a few years ago - lots of changes in fact, dramatic changes even, but never with this level of intensity and determination - thus the name of the blog.  We are determined to terminate debt.  My daughter came up with the name - debt-termination.  I loved it, but all this brings me back to blogging.

Not only do I write, almost daily, but I also love to talk to people and I love sharing what God is teaching me, what he's doing in my life, what he's done in the past, and if it is a help to someone else, even better - then I can share it with that other person, especially a younger mom just starting out who I can help to avoid the potholes that parenting or life in general can bring.  The problem is, as a mom of eight children, it is pretty tricky finding the time to talk on the phone, or have other moms over without impacting the whole family in some way.

Then one morning, last week, I sat there with my journal and I started to write all that God was teaching me and our family.  My entry went on and on, pages long, when it occured to me I wish I could just tell everyone what I'm learning - that's when the thought occurred to me - I finally had a purpose to starting a blog.  I was feeling so inspired to help get our family out of debt, surely our family wasn't the only one feeling that financial burden.  The difference was I was feeling so inspired, so incredibly full of hope, so passionate and on fire - I wanted others to feel the same way I was, without the hopelessness that often accompanies debt-filled living.  It occured to me to write the whole story - as it happens - as opposed to waiting to hear a happy ending.  Why not write the story with all the ups and downs that would really happen instead of with the advantage of hindsight - anyone could do that.

My only way of checking if this was ok, was to go the word of God and to my husband to see what he thought.

Right away, two passages of scripture came to mind - 1 Cor. 1:27-29, "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to edify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."  Perfect.  So far so good.  I am not one of those writers that is particularly eloquent, nor am I a famous intellect.  I am just a regular mom, perhaps with a few more children than most, but really, in some circles, I have a small family!  So I think I fit the first category that I found in scripture.

The second one was Titus 2:4 -  "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." 

I am young by some standards, older by others, but I think I am officially leaning on the older side now that my children are getting into their mid-teens.  Yes, I still have a little guy, 18 months, but he is growing up fast, too.   So age-wise, I'm good -  I think I qualify to share what I've been learning. 

My husband was good with the blogging idea, but seeing as it is rather personal information, he felt more comfortable if I kept it a little more on the private side, by not sharing real names and instead going with pseuodyms.  My husband will be known as Renaissance Man or RM.  I will be generally writing in the first person, but will occasionally referring to myself as Penny (as in Penny Pincher!).  The kids will be pretty clear - the oldest will be known as #1, the rest will follow as #2, #3 and so on down to #8 - makes sense?

A quick note, however...as I wondered who the reader would be, I decided I would write as if it were to a young mom just starting out.  I'm also writing to my daughters and sons, to document our life as my youngest daughter is just 5 and my youngest son is not even 2, so neither will remember the details of our life when they are older.  This blog will help them to remember. 

One other thought... sometimes what happens when I share with young moms things I have learned, they go back to their husbands and share what we talked about.  This can be a great thing or a really bad thing depending on how it is framed by the wife.  So a word of warning - if what I share inspires you to share with your husband, please, please share with him, just be super careful how you frame it, that it doesn't come out in the tone that can only be described as nagging. I do believe change can often happen in a home through the wife first and then the husband.  Remember, God used Esther to change her husband's heart, so I know that can happen in any home.

Well, if you are ready to join me in my family's journey of getting debt-free, stay-tuned to hear about our First Blessings as we started out.....