Debt isn't Always Financial

One of the most interesting things my eyes have been opened up to on this journey so far is that debt isn't just in the area of money.  Oh no, once my spiritual eyes were awakened, suddenly I was seeing debt everywhere.  Let me give you a few illustrations.

I try to get up early in the morning, earlier than my kids.  This is when I write, pray, work out, enjoy a quiet coffee, etc.  Then, ideally anyway, the kids will follow a little bit later.  This is when they read and memorize scripture and then after this we all eat breakfast together followed by chores and then school.  Obviously there is only one of me, so I purchased alarm clocks many years ago so I wouldn't have to go around waking children up, plus I wanted them to learn the discipline of waking up all by themselves.

Needless to say, this is the ideal, and once in awhile, they just decide they've had enough and they completely ignore their alarm clocks and sleep in.  By this point, I'm well into what I'm trying to accomplish downstairs and I don't go get them (which is laziness on my part to be honest).  When I finally decide to follow through, I'm already feeling a little agitated, shall we say.  Therefore I might not go in quite as sweetly to remind them it is time to start their day.

Once they do struggle downstairs, everything is now behind anywhere from a half hour to an hour.  We've officially "borrowed" from the next thing on the schedule.  We are now "in debt" to the next chore, or subject or whatever is supposed to be next on the schedule.   See what I mean?  I call it Schedule Debt.

How 'bout this one?  At night, after dinner, again, we are supposed to clean the kitchen and clean it 100%, but again, in my laziness, I see the kids have done it, "good enough", so even though I know they didn't do it 100%, I say fine, good enough - but then, the next morning when I'm supposed to start with a fresh, clean sink, I often come down to a couple unwashed pots, stragglers of dishes all over the counters they somehow missed, crumbs still on the floor and it feels like I'm a whole meal behind on clean up.  In a large family, getting behind on one meal of dishes sometimes means there aren't dishes for the next meal!  We have once again borrowed from the next meal which puts us in debt to the dishes we need.  It takes time to wash the ones we need, it takes energy which I only have enough of, it seems, for one cleanup at a time.  Again, it leads to a feeling of frustration and then the kids are left with a grumpy mommy, snappy requests, short answers.  This is Kitchen Debt.

So it goes throughout a mother's day - our children, ourselves - we borrow against the day all the time!   How many times have you heard a mother say, even yourself, in a downtrodden, discouraging voice, "We just had one of those mornings...."  The implication is that it was a bad morning.  Why,  I want to know.  I know there are things, in fact a lot of things, that are out of control in a morning - sick kids, bad weather, bad nights, but what about all the things we can control, but just don't take the time to because, like me, we are just too lazy and we'd rather use a "line of Kitchen Credit or Schedule Credit" than be disciplined and train our children.  Oooooo, now I'm walking on thin ice, aren't I?  But, remember I'm speaking to myself, too, not just to some mom out there who is already feeling guilty. 

I am now attempting a new pattern, a new way of thinking....just starting out, mind you.  The new mindset looks like this:   Borrowing against the day is almost like taking something that isn't yours to take.  Is that a stretch?  Well, isn't borrowing money like taking something that isn't yours?  Perhaps to say it is stealing is a stretch, but the Bible does say that the borrower is slave to the lender, so, at the very least, those of us who borrow become slaves to the rest of our day - we feel behind, we feel angry, we feel guilty, frustrated.  We start taking all of the above feelings out on our kids, who really don't know why Mommy is so frustrated - aren't we the ones who are responsible ultimately for their training?

Like I said earlier, I've always tried to get up before my kids, but have often failed if I just don't feel like it.  This new way of thinking has changed everything for me.  Now my alarm clock will go off and even if I've had a good night, I still lay there thinking, there is no way it's time to get up.  No way!  I immediately ask myself - what in the world am I doing?  Then the thoughts start to come to me - don't lay here, you will be behind in your day - this is debt.  Get up.  Get downstairs.  Remember how well yesterday went because you got up.  Remember how badly the other day went because you didn't get up.  The goal, keep in mind the goal - we want to be debt-free in every area of our lives. You can do this!  And so up I get!

Once I'm downstairs, moving and even working out, I'm fine.  It's just the fight to get out of bed.  Lord, give me the strength to do this!  It is hard.  I need your grace, your vision for the goal you have for my family.   Press on, dear sisters-in-Christ and fellow mothers!  Be wary of Kitchen Debt, Schedule Debt and any other debt that comes to mind (I've got more to describe at another time....)  We can do this!