Friday 28 March 2014

God is the Professor

Anger is poison in the home, have you  noticed that?  What does this have to do with debt, you might ask. Well, I've just been observing in my own children little symptoms of adulthood.  They are starting to mimic us as parents, all our good and not so good traits.  I've started to see when either RM or I am stressed or worried about something, we tend to lash out either at one another or at the kids.  My kids are now doing the same.  I'm seeing how important it is to show them I trust God, as it keeps my temper at bay, and therefore their tempers, and doesn't bring the poison of anger into the home.

My children aren't quite so reflective yet, so this is something they must learn, something I must teach.  One of my younger sons has been really fussing at me about school, getting it all done, or doing it at all.  I've started to see he's really quite bright, there are no learning disabilities present, per se, he's just bugged that he has to sit and do school.  Oh dear, imagine!  I'm making him work!  (sorry, that was saracasm...)  Of course, I try to be patient at first, but sure enough, if he presses my buttons too long (which inevitably happens) suddenly I'm done.  He's done.  The world seems to fall apart.  During the course of his meltdowns, I often tell him, "Don't bring the poison of anger into our home."  You can see how it trickles out into the whole house as voices have to rise to speak over his fussing voice.  Then other kids get irritated by him because they need quiet.  I'm irritated that they are irritated and the cycle starts.  It's been a great mirror to myself of what it looks like to not trust God.  Really, because in his own little way, he's not trusting God with his circumstances.  He thinks there is no point to all this learning, his own little trial.  He's frustrated that he has to go through with where God has put him in life and he'd rather be in a life of ease, where he doesn't have to work, doesn't have to do school, gets to play all day, you get the idea.  So, honestly, he just looks like me in a miniature form.  It isn't pretty.

My older son is also starting to mimic one of his parents who shall remain nameless.  Suffice it to say, it isn't me.  It is almost funny how much he is starting to sound like him, oops, I mean the other parent.  He, too, has his struggles in school.  He has no problem with knowing he has to do school.  He gets the bigger picture. He knows that one day he'll be a provider for his home, so he must learn all he can now to become a good Dad and husband, but what he doesn't like is that the learning part doesn't come so easily for him, at least in one subject - math.  Guess what he's really good at?  Writing.  He could write all day.  He's a very gifted writer in fact and I have him working on a potential book one day that I'm super excited about.  But give that boy a math book and he starts to cringe.

Naturally, when you don't love something, you put it off, so he's a little behind in his math.  Once in awhile, he starts to realize this will come back to bite him and you see the panic.  Then suddenly nothing goes well. His pencil breaks, his water spills, the cat attacks him, the dog is barking, the toddler rips his page....oh my goodness, Satan knows just how to get to my children and therefore get to me.  My son reacts just like the other parent.  At first he wants to slam everything to the floor, but he tries to use some restraint.  Then he starts saying things he doesn't mean, but he feels them all the same, "Why do I have to do this?  Why can't I just forget math all together!"  Then he starts to snap at the little toddler who is quite innocent.  The poison is back in the house.

Once again, I see this as a mirror for me and the other nameless parent.  When we are going through our debt "adventure", we would really rather just jump off the debt bandwagon and forget it.  It's too hard.  And quite frankly, it is!  I hate aspects of this!  There have been so many times I've wanted to throw in the towel and just book tickets to Florida!  Living like no one else is not fun!  Well, that's not true, we are doing ok, but at times, you only see the "what I don't have" aspects, just like the kids.  Instead of seeing all that they are good at, they focus on their weaknesses.  So interesting.

When we focus on the hard parts, then nothing in life seems right.  It all seems like a trial.  When I don't see how much God has provided, instead I just see what work we don't have, then I panic, just like my son. Then there is a knot in my stomach that makes me snap at my husband or kids or makes me just plain grumpy.  Poison.  More poison.

Thank you, Lord, for our kids!  For the funny, but awful, reflection they are to me (and that other guy!)  Help us model trust.  Help us model contentment even in the "subjects" we don't like or that we aren't good at!

So, we are in "school", just like the kids.  I hope I pass the subject of "debt reduction".  It isn't an easy class. But, fortunately, my professor is God, so I think he'll give me all the help I need.

Thursday 27 March 2014

Taking My Thoughts Captive

The whole reason I started this blog was to have a written record of the progress we hope to achieve, by God's grace, in complete debt reduction.  The reason I did this during the process, as opposed to the end of the process, was I wanted to include all aspects, even the ups and downs, as well as all the things we, or I, in particular, learned along the way..

I've definitely alluded to this before, but one of the greatest tests or lessons learned has got to be in the area of discouragement or anxiety.  Ultimately, when I feel either one of these feelings I am really questioning the faithfulness of God, aren't I?  So we are at a place where I'm going to walk you through a situation that in the past would have me either sleepless, full of anxiety, or just plain discouraged.  I'm going to try to show what my old train of thoughts would have been and, by faith, what my new train of thoughts will be.  This isn't easy for me to trust God!  Even though he has shown himself so faithful in the past, I still wonder, has he forgotten me?  That seems awful, but it is the truth.  By writing this down, I'm hoping it will give me more faith, as much as it might for someone else reading it.

Ok....here's the old me...

Pretty soon, all the products will be shipped out that my husband has been working on.  Pretty soon, all the other little contracts will be done.  The money will come in that we are owed and we'll be at a better place for sure than we are now, but due to a number of surprises, INCLUDING THE WEATHER, we won't be where we thought we would be.  Seriously, the weather has caused more issues in this house than we thought possible, number one being the cost to heat the house - it is mind-boggling how much we've spent just to stay warm.  We didn't account for that when we were budgeting how far the income he was making would take us, so that puts us back quite a bit.  Discouragement starts to build its little house in my head.

Then, the fact that there is less money available makes me start to realize, oh, we probably won't be able to get this done or that done or buy this that we needed or buy that....you get the idea.  These were all things I had my heart set on getting done, particularly on the house, and that I had been "promised". The pity party joins the discouragement party...can't you see it?

Then, who cares about getting stuff done on the house, what about just plain progress in debt-reduction!?Well, at least we'll make more progress when he gets more work, but wait, he doesn't have more working coming in!  At least not that we know of!  Anxiety has now joined up with the other two and I start to feel awful, stressed, faithless.  Are you starting to get the idea?

What is a woman to do who finds herself in this situation?  Well, remember, I'm not out of the woods and I haven't perfected this by any means, but I'm going to attempt to take God at His Word 100% and watch what he does, just because I am determined (or once again, debt-termined) to not give in to these feelings that can rise up in me so pathetically easily!

So I begin with everything I've ever learned, such as
    1 Peter 5:7
    casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

    This verse acknowledges I'm going to have anxiety and not just once, it puts it in the plural form "anxieties", so God knows this is going to be an issue for us!  So, I don't just place them on his desk, so to speak, I cast them, I throw them.  
The next verse that pops into my head was one I was taught from an early age that would reassure me every time I was anxious about something even as a child.  I'm sure it is not unfamiliar, Philippians 4:4-9,

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Typically we read the "do not be anxious" verses, but the ones surrounding it are the secrets to less anxiety - 
Verse 4 speaks of rejoicing, twice!  "....again I will say, rejoice"!  It's as if Paul is anticipating what the Philippians are going to go through and is giving them tools to handle their anxiety.  I want to "let my reasonableness be known to everyone".  By this I mean, I want the way I handle things that look hopeless, to show ultimate faith in God.  I'm going to define "reasonableness" as what my reason is resting on - the Lord. Therefore, I can truly take verse 6 and "not be anxious about anything", but trust me, I'm praying almost around the clock.  But as I pray, I do thank God as I make my requests known to him.  The peace of God does come, and it does surpass understanding, because in my human thinking, we're up the creek.  We'll never pay anything off at the rate we're going.  It does appear hopeless.  

Verse 7 is typically where people stop quoting, yet verses 8 and 9 are the other secret antidotes to anxiety.  I have to stop thinking about the pity, the hopelessnes and discouragement, as these thoughts are hardly profitable for me and certainly not, "honourable" or "pure" or "lovely", am I right?  Paul says to "practice these things and the God of peace will be with you."  That is not going to happen if I focus on the awful feelings I have.

The last verse that gets me through these darker periods is 2 Corinthians 10:4,5,

"4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ..."

I am fighting a spiritual battle that cannot be seen in my temporal realm, yet it is going on even if I don't see it. I have Christ in me and because of that resurrection power I can literally take every thought captive and make it obey Christ!  That is such a cool concept!  To think that I don't have to listen to every whim and pathetic thought is quite freeing, don't you think?  These anxious, hopeless, discouraging thoughts are going against the very knowledge of God and what I know about him.  They are "arguments" that must be destroyed which is done by taking them captive.  Love those verses.

Now, in some ways, nothing has changed in my life.  There isn't any extra money coming in that I know of or any new contracts, etc., but this is what my new process of thinking is and here is what I will literally pray today....

God, you know me and my anxious thoughts.  You know what I had hoped for.  I admit I am pitiful and feeling sorry for myself.  Help me to take you at your Word.  I'm going to throw the anxious, sad, hopeless thoughts at your feet and take them captive.  I'm going to anticipate what you are going to do in my life despite the fact I have no idea what that is! You know what we had planned, what we had hoped to achieve by this point.  If you want to delay the paying off of debt, then you must have a reason for that.  I'm going to trust you even when I don't see what lies ahead.  Amen.

My husband prayed yesterday, "You only give us enough light for the step we're on."  It is so true.

Watch with me.  See what God is going to do.  If I try this approach as opposed to the scared, anxious, pathetic approach, I think it'll be a happier journey, even if nothing else changes in my life except my attitude towards it.

Tuesday 25 March 2014

Family Economics

If anybody out there knows me, they will know I'm a rather enthusiastic person.  Well, I have met my match in Kevin Swanson.  He has got to be the most enthusiastic, charismatic person out there.  He also happens to be one of my favourite speakers in the homeschool circuit right now and I'm excited to say he's coming to Canada.  To Keswick, Ontario, to be specific.

He will be putting on one of his famous Family Economics Conferences on April 11 and 12th.  He will be speaking about the family economy and how to bring this back into our lives and culture.  There will be a panel of men, speaking about their family businesses and how they incorporate their families into their business.  They will also be speaking about their vision for their family business, the pros, the pitfalls, and as well they will offer encouragement to those who would like to start their own family businesses.  They will explain how they did it and some things to consider when starting out.  I think it will be an awesome discussion.

It goes back to the whole reason RM started his own business.  He just wanted to be home.  He felt like he was missing out on his children's lives and that they were growing up while he was away at work.  Having him home has been a privilege and a blessing beyond words.  Yes, there are a couple down sides, like having my house turn into a manufacturing facility, but I will gladly give up a clean and orderly home (as if it was clean and orderly before he brought all his stuff in!) to have him around.  To be honest, it means I have fewer rooms to clean right now!. So I'll take it!

The positives far outweigh any negatives.  One simple thing is that we can debrief all throughout the day or whenever something is on our minds.  Yesterday was a great example of this.  He came in to get warm (yes, our pipes froze again yesterday.....please tell me this weather will get warm soon......), so I quickly put on a tea for him.  His face was showing signs of stress or something.  All the children were milling about, lots of questions about school, different subjects, announcements of test results.....but he could barely hear them as he needed to talk to me.  Quickly I shooed them all out of the room and told them we needed to be alone for a few minutes to talk.  Off they went.  RM quickly said, "I have four things on my mind....."  So I was right - his body language is so obvious..."Number one......" and on he went until his list was done.  I'm not even sure that I gave him an answer for each thing or that he needed an answer for each item bothering him.  He just needed to be heard.

Sure enough, after he went through his list of things on his mind, he relaxed, finished his tea and went back outside seeming refreshed without even realizing why he felt better.  This is why I love having him home.  We can deal with almost everything right away. I can be a sounding board whenever necessary and the schedule is flexible enough to allow for those interruptions.  I never heard about his list of things again for the rest of the day.  I guess they just needed to go from inside his head to outside his head!

That is just one side benefit to having a home business.  There are so many others. Is there a tie-in to debt reduction?  Absolutely.  Before when he was at the company working downtown, his salary was pretty much capped.  There was really no way to increase his income.  He did do extra carpentry work on the side, but it took up all his free time and it meant we never saw him.

Now there is a much greater ability to increase his income.  He's also able to pursue extra work when he can, like now when we are seeking to kill the mortgage debt.  His extra work, such as working as a Porsche mechanic, can be fit in between his contracts without really impacting the family too much.  If anything, he is able to incorporate the family, particularly the older boys, so that has been a real bonus.

So, you can tell we are real advocates for home businesses.  It has been the greatest thing that has happened to us.  Don't be discouraged if this is not your reality, however.  We know it isn't for everyone.  I know I'm painting a pretty picture of how wonderful it can be which might be torture for someone out there if this is clearly not in your future, but you never know!  Remember that prayer and fasting thing????  Even so, however, it might just not be your reality right now.  I have been quoting the C.S. Lewis line for weeks now....(here is my paraphrase), "If you think that earth is a place where you will find happiness, think again. That will make it intolerable.  If, however, you view life on earth as a place of training and correction, then it is not so bad!"  That is so perfect!  So perhaps not having a home business is a test of contentment for some out there.  It was a test of .8 years for us.  We longed to have him home for a long time before it happened.

Learning to be content is always a test.  Now that we do have a home business, it brings the ups and downs of an irregular income.  Yes, the income is greater, but very inconsistent.  We've had to learn to see this as a greater opportunity to have our faith stretched and that is has!  Have we seen God work miracles?  Oh yes. When we had a regular salary, there was, sadly to say, less reason to rely on God.  It was almost as if we relied on our employer, if you can picture that.  Once we leapt out on our own, we suddenly had no source of regular income.  It has been amazing to see God provide again and again.

So, today I want to encourage anyone out there if there is a way to start a family business, go for it!  Come listen to Kevin Swanson encourage family business as well if you can.  Start the praying as it can take a long time for things to get put in place, but God did it in our family and He can do it in other's lives as well.  We are not unique!



Friday 21 March 2014

A Little Sleep, A Little Slumber, A Little Folding of the Hands

Some more thoughts on sloth.....

Proverbs 19:24

"The sluggard buries his hand in the dish and will not even bring it back to his mouth."

This is such a good verse.  It shows just how lazy a sluggard is.  He is sooo lazy (sounds like the making of a joke!) that he won't even bring his hand to his mouth.  I picture a person sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of him, but he can't or won't lift the spoon to feed himself.  He'd rather sit there, 
perhaps waiting for someone to feed him, then lift the food to his mouth.

I never knew how much the Bible spoke on sloth, laziness, being a sluggard until we started to do a small study on it as a family.  It was very convicting.  We realized there was a lot of this in our lives, still is, but we are working on it and at least are much more aware of it.

It is something I was blinded to for a long time.  Who wants to admit to being lazy?  Define lazy!  I could always see myself busy, but perhaps busy is different from lazy.  When I looked back on my life, perhaps in my school work in particular, I did have to admit, I usually always did the bare minimum to get by.  That is definitely a sign of laziness, not having to do anything extra.  

Now I see it in my own kids.  They will literally walk over piles of clothes or toys and they simply don't see them or if they do see them, they won't pick them up!  Why?  It is the inner sloth in all of us.  It means work. It is a constant battle.

Doing that little study was excellent as it helped us all identify the enemy - sloth.  But it also showed the opposite character that we long for - diligence.  We now use the Bibilical terms around our home when we are trying to correct ourselves or our children.  I will literally say to them, "Do not be a sluggard!  Let's show how diligent we can be and get this room cleaned up!"

Sleep is in the Bible a lot.  But often when the Bible speaks to sleep it is in the context of laziness.

Proverbs 6:9
How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep?

Proverbs 26:14
As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed.

These two verses get me out of bed in the morning.  The second verse in particular - can't you picture it? The sleeping person, literally turning back and forth on his bed, like a hinge, hitting the sleep button over and over again.  The Bible tells us that is being lazy!  Ouch.  No one likes to be called lazy, but the Bible calls us out on all of our excuses.

I think we all think we need more sleep than we really do.  I've been retraining myself to go to bed earlier in order to get up earlier.  That was hard to do!  I never went to bed early as a young person.  I hated going to sleep before 10 pm or even midnight when I was a teen.  I might have missed out on something on TV that would have made me less cool at school the next day!  I was all about cool back then.  What was my problem!!!  Of course the next day I thought I was going to die when it was time to get up.

More recently I was also very afraid if I went to sleep early (as a mom with children), that I would get woken up and then I would lie there for hours not able to go back to sleep.  This has happened in the past, but now, I hit the sheets and I am out!  If I do get woken up, I'm much more able to go back to sleep these days as I think I'm tired enough that it is less of an issue.

Now I go to sleep early, sometimes before my older kids!  If I'm not up talking with my husband (that is the only thing that I'll stay up for), then I'm in bed by 9:30 pm and I might read for a few minutes, but 10 pm is the latest I'll stay up.  That gives me a good 7 hours or more and it must be enough as it has literally allowed me to get out of bed before my alarm wakes me up.  Getting up early has become such a habit, almost annoyingly, that my inner clock knows when it is about to go off.  This has been great though as I know I've had enough sleep.  I'm ready for the kids to come down as I've often had two hours or more on my own before I even see one of them!

Proverbs 6 has become our life passage.  Ever since my husband started his own business, he has been more aware of the struggle between diligence and sloth more than ever as there is now no one in charge of him anymore.  He is his own boss.  That means he can pretty much do whatever he wants, good or bad.  If you are a sloth, no one will know. There were many times in his early days that he would be in his home office where he would feel his eyes getting heavy.  How he longed for a nap!  Of course, it is not sin to nap - I often lay down for a few minutes in the afternoon because I've been up so early, but I'm not lying there for hours!  It is a few minutes!  It gets me by for the rest of the day and it is literally all I need.  But in RM's case, he would often bypass a nap, just for the principle of the matter once he came across this passage.  Read this.....

Give your eyes no sleep
    and your eyelids no slumber;
save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,[b]
    like a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Go to the ant, O sluggard;
    consider her ways, and be wise.
Without having any chief,
    officer, or ruler,
she prepares her bread in summer
    and gathers her food in harvest.
How long will you lie there, O sluggard?
    When will you arise from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
    a little folding of the hands to rest,
11 and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
    and want like an armed man.


I think what I love about this passage is the order it comes in.  So often each passage is presented without the verses surrounding them.  The famous "ant passage" is preceded by a verse on sleep and followed by a verse on sleep!  I had never seen that before.  Remember, I'm not saying it is a sin to sleep, what I'm trying to communicate is the principle these passages are showing - sleep, in the form of laziness, can get you killed like a gazelle by the hunter or like a bird from the fowler.  This is such a great verse as we always like to say we are gazelle intense - that means we are running from laziness, as it could get us killed by debt otherwise!  Isn't that true?  We are being chased by laziness all day long.  Debt and laziness is all tied in together, wouldn't you say?  We are too lazy to be disciplined with our money, so we spend, which ultimately gets us in a lot of trouble.

As RM sat in his office early on in the beginning days of his business struggling to stay awake, these verses convicted him to power through any fatigue he was feeling.  The ant has no overseer and yet she works all summer preparing for the lean times.  He knew he needed to be like the ant.  

The passage that really sums up his whole business is verse 10 and 11, "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man." Wow.  This passage has motivated him like nothing else to press on when exhausted, to know that he will escape poverty and want.  Again, there have been times when he has been up super early prepping for a shipment of heavy steel.  Once it is delivered, sometimes he'll come in and literally throw his exhausted body on the couch and will he nap?  Yes.  I don't see that as laziness.  Remember it is the principle against laziness that the Bible is communicating.  

The Bible has much more to say on this topic.  I'm just scratching the surface.  Gotta run, I've got some ants to wake up!



Thursday 20 March 2014

I Have Skirt Angels in My Life

I have skirt angels in my life.  I prefer wearing skirts (a fairly recent phenomenon, but that is another story for another time), but I rarely get a chance to shop.  I find it quite an effort to either bring the kids or to leave them to be watched. Either way, someone is under the pile with a lot of children, so I tend to do my shopping in "bulk".  This is true for food as well as for clothes.  If I have to buy Spring clothes for my kids, then I try to buy everything at once, if possible. This way it is done, for the most part (sometimes I still run out for the odd thing).  I have been thinking about doing shopping for myself, but have put it off as I didn't want to spend and I didn't want to take the time.

Well, someone recently saved me a boatload of time and money and blessed me!  I don't know exactly how it came about, but as this friend went through her own closet, she set aside quite a large number of things, particularly skirts, for me that she was either not wearing or not fitting and as of a day or two ago, they are all in my closet now! Thank you dear sister in Christ!  I know some women out there would find this perhaps too humbling an experience and to be honest, it is humbling, but I have to get over myself and I see it as a gift from God. When I looked at the things she gave me, they were all items I would have chosen if I'd been shopping and they were all my size.  Believe it or not this is not the first time this has happened to me.

A couple years ago, someone in the library I had never met had noticed me and noticed that I wore skirts a lot.  She also wore skirts a lot, but over the period of a few babies, she had gained an extra pound or two and couldn't fit into some.  This woman got the library to call me and then I called her.  This was how I received another unimaginably large amount of beautiful clothes.  Both of these women could have just dropped them off at Goodwill, but all the clothes were in such good shape in both cases that I think they would have preferred that they go "to a good home"!  Well, allow me to be the recipient!  To even think about taking the time to shop right now makes me feel a heavy burden, so this lifts that from me for awhile.

This week was also the week I went and enjoyed a night out with my sister listening to Leigh Ann Tuoy in Toronto.  This was the gift of tickets I was given by my sister many weeks ago and it finally happened this past Monday. We went our for dinner, too, which was just awesome - also a gift from her mother-in-law to us!  So I see God's blessings flowing abundantly in my life.  The woman we heard speak was so funny.  She was the mom from the move Blind Side, played by Sandra Bullock (who won an Oscar for her role).  She is a Christian  woman and she shared the whole story from start to present day how she met this black boy, Michael Orr, and how he went from virtually homeless to an NFL star just because she and her family turned their car around - a random act of kindness that forever changed his life and their's.  That was her whole point that night.  "Turn around," she kept saying.  Go back.  Look for a person where you can do a random act of kindness.  It could change someone's life.  Get out of your social circle.  Get out of your comfort zone. Take risks.

My two "skirt angels" did that for me.  I was the recipient of random acts of kindness.  My sister, her mother-in-law, also did that for me.  I'm feeling I need to give back!  I keep asking the Lord, show me, who, Lord, how, when?  It makes me want to go out and adopt the next homeless child I see, but in this little town there aren't too many on our downtown streets, but I know they must be out there!

For now, I keep doing random acts of kindness here in the home.  They aren't always received with a lot of thanksgiving.  Yesterday I thought I smelled something coming from my toddler's bottom area and I asked him if he needed to be changed.  "Yeah."  So I threw him up in the air, kind of playing with him, tossing him around, flipping him over, all the way from the couch to the kitchen.  That was when I felt a dampness.  "Had he been sitting in water?"  He spills his cups on purpose all the time now, so it wouldn't have surprised me. Then I saw his finger, covered in uh, what looked like peanut butter, but it wasn't peanut butter.

By this point I was at the couch.  I hadn't taken his pants off, but there was, let's call it "waste", ALL OVER THE COUCH.  But I hadn't taken his pants off!  How could this be?  Then I looked at myself.  It was EVERYWHERE....from my sweater all the way down to the bottom of my skirt.  I quickly took off his diaper and there was hardly anything in it.  In all my playing, tossing and flipping, I had unknowingly dumped the ENTIRE diaper, which was a "loose movement", all the way from the kitchen, down the hall, all over my clothes, to the couch.  DISGUSTING!!!!!!  How I didn't notice this while it was happening is a mystery.  So I had a lot of cleaning up to do.  No one thanked me.  No one even knew.  I did call my daughter to take a picture though.  One day I'll look back and see how humourous it was and wish for those poo days again!

I don't think I'm being called to anything more than what I am currently doing, but I'm open to what God shows me in the future.  In the meantime I change diapers a lot more carefully now!


Wednesday 19 March 2014

Don't Socialize Me!!!!!!

My good friend came down with her gang of kids and her husband this past weekend to visit for the day. She was the one whose three year old was attacked by my three year when RM and the boys needed a place to stay when the truck had broken down a few weeks ago.  I warned my son that his "very good friend" was coming to visit him and that he needed to behave nicely to him.  "Ooooooh, I won't bite him this time."  "What!?  I didn't know you had bitten him!  DEFINITELY don't bite him!"  "Yes, I bit him and I pinched him on the arm, really hard, like this....." (he went on to demonstrate to me the pinch.....)

Later on that afternoon, we were all watching them play really nicely together in front of us and I commented, not thinking the little ones were paying attention to a word we were saying, that it was really nice to have their little guy around.   The big joke in homeschooling circles is that we need to "socialize" our children, so I somewhat sarcastically said, "It's good to have them play together so they can be 'socialized'!"  Immediately, my son turns around and looks right at me and with all the confidence that a three year old can generate he said, "Don't socialize me!"

We were dumbfounded.  How does this little guy come up with this stuff?  It was hysterical!  We were all snickering, trying not to laugh at him out loud, but we couldn't contain it all.  I think it was mostly comical because, like I said, homeschoolers are often questioned about socialization.  My son clearly didn't think he needed to be socialized and I better not start trying, at least on my terms.  Well, there isn't much more to the story, except to say, my children make me laugh.

My children are also teaching me lessons on diligence (how's that for a tie-in???)....

We read a blog once by a homeschooling Dad who lives on a farm and invents lots of practical farm equipment.  He's super funny, but also shares a lot of wisdom.  One thing he wrote a while back was that he didn't want his boys to be helpless men.   We don't want that either.  For a long time now we've been trying to communicate that to our boys, even to our girls, that we don't want them to be helpless.  That means they must learn certain skills, but more importantly, they must learn a certain attitude towards work and just learning in general.  

We also heard a talk on teaching responsibility to our children, particularly to boys, and in this talk the speaker mentioned that boys must learn that they often have to do hard things.  Of course women do,  too, but often a Dad gets stuck with the really yucky stuff - it could be anything from taking out garbage, to fixing a broken down truck on the side of the road (in the rain or cold), carrying all the heavy luggage when on vacation, or dealing with kid vomit in the middle of the night....you get the idea.  They have to learn to take that burden and not complain.  We've been really trying to instill this in the boys.  They see it in their Dad. No Dad has to do these hard things.  All women are completely capable of doing them.  We know this.  They know this.  But when a man takes that burden off of our shoulders, are we not so grateful?  It is just another thing that we don't have to do when we already have such a long list of things that we need to do?   So, don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying women aren't as capable as men.  I'm saying how I love when RM takes that burden off of me.

Well, I'm starting to see that our boys are getting the idea and I'm soooo pleased.  To God be the glory always when we start to see the very thing we are trying to instill.  I know it is not to our credit.  We must simply teach and allow God to do the rest.

The other night our dog started to bark in the middle of the night.  "Oh no," I thought to myself.  "Here he goes again."  He did this last summer when he was sick.  I wondered if he was sick again.  It went on and on.  I didn't know what to do.  I didn't want to wake up RM as he was dead tired from a long day.  I didn't want to go outside myself (the dog sleeps in the shop).  Then I thought, I guess I better wake up JM (the oldest boy who is technically the owner of the dog).  I felt so bad waking him up, but he had told me last summer that I could if I ever heard the dog barking.  So into his room I went.  Of course he was fast asleep. I gently woke him up and told him the dog was barking, could he please go check on him.  He was up right away, though somewhat delirious.  This wasn't the first time this week the dog had barked, so he was quick to try to see if he could figure out what was going on.  Earlier on in the week it had been simply because of the wind and he wanted to be in his crate.  He didn't feel safe loose in the shop.  That was an easy fix.  Not this time.

Out he went, into the cold (though that night it wasn't nearly as frigid, it was slightly warmer, thank goodness!)  The dog went nuts to see his owner.  My son couldn't sense anything wrong, but took him for a quick walk, made sure he had food and water, but then this time he wouldn't stop barking in his crate. What? My son had already come in, so out he went again.  Ok, fine, so he left him on his tie outside.  This seemed to work for a few hours, but then the dog started to bark again.  I had to go back into my son's room, as he can't hear the barking from his room, and tell him, unfortunately, the dog was at it again.  Up my son got again.  He was getting no sleep, neither was I....we both wanted to strangle the dog.  But something was bothering him, so what can you do?  This time, he grabbed one of our cats (all our animals are friends with each other!) and threw the cat in with the dog, so funny, to keep him company back in the shop.  This seemed to work.  He came back in.  The dog continued to bark for a bit, but then eventually he stopped and was quiet for the rest of the night.   I don't think I had more than a couple hours sleep in a row.  Neither did my son.  My husband, however, had slept the whole night, not knowing any of this had gone on.  He woke up nice and refreshed the next day!

But that is my whole point.  The next day, I told my husband what had gone on the whole night before.  We were both so grateful my son had stepped in and been a man.  Not a helpless man.  Not a complaining man. He later told me how hard it had been for him.  He had been a little scared.  I don't doubt it!  It's dark and scary outside!  Not a lot of lights, lots of awful sounds, potential wild animals lurking around corners!  I was so grateful I didn't have to go!  I relied on a fourteen year old and he rose to the occasion.  He saved his Dad from doing it who so badly needed the rest to recover.  It was such an awesome opportunity to learn how hard it is to be a man, to be a Dad.  Sure, like I said, I could have gone, but I knew J would have known better what to do with the dog.  I would have been out there the whole night trying to figure him out and probably would have ended up sleeping in the shop to keep him quiet!  By sending him out, he was able to figure it out way quicker.  I was able to be at peace.  I felt so good leaving it in his capable hands.  He truly lifted a burden from me that night as well as the other night when the dog had been barking.  I wanted him to know how grateful we both were.

This diligence must be learned when they are young.  The Bible says it is good for a young man to learn to carry a burden while he is still young.  I can see why.  It will be my son's habit, it will be normal for him to work hard, to be diligent, if I have him starting to learn these lessons now.  Will he have to combat sloth his whole life?  Probably, but I don't think the battle will be nearly as difficult if he learns these lessons now.  It will benefit him in all areas of life, even the financial, as he'll see it requires diligence to provide for his family.

It was a major milestone.  The interesting thing is, since that night the dog has been fine.  The only thing I can think of is that it was a test for me and my son to pass.  The only other thing I can think of is that Satan wanted me exhausted as the next day I was seriously praying on behalf of one of my friends who was also praying and fasting.  I was interceding with her and I was wasted as I had hardly slept a wink the night before.  Who knows, but either way, the dog seems fine now!

We keep praying that God will use us to train up our children in the way they should go.

Monday 17 March 2014

There's a Lion in the Street!

I never plan on taking March Break.  This year I didn't even know exactly when it was, but somehow, through friends, or who knows how, the kids found out.  So, last week on Monday, they revolted and wouldn't you know it, we took March Break.  I have to say, a little switch up in life is soooo good sometimes.  I slept in a little bit, just like Christmas break, and it was as if I had been on vacation. God knows what we need.

I know I've veered off the direct "debt" blogging for awhile, so should perhaps update.  There's been nothing to say as there wasn't any money coming in!  We were surviving off of the money we made from the hay we had sold in the summer or from the "baby bonus" money from the government.  One of RM's contracts paid early, that was awesome.  Sometimes we had a "gift" from a parent who might have just sensed we could use some extra cash.......All of it was from the Lord, though, the true giver of good gifts and we can say, with confidence, that He has been faithful through this dry period, or should I say, cold period (does anyone else have frozen pipes AGAIN this morning????)

We are nearly at the end of his major contract and he's been shipping stuff little by little.  The nice thing about that is that we can invoice as we ship.  Once again, we offered the customer an early payment incentive and we weren't sure that they would take it, but they did.  So last week, we shipped on Tuesday and by Friday we'd been paid for the order.  That might not sound like much, but it was a huge deal to us.  It means all the suppliers get paid which is debt!  We are making serious progress.  Once all those supplier-type debts are taken care of, we can tackle the mortgage.

God often gives above and beyond what we need, but He knows us well enough that by giving too much then we lose dependence on Him.  It's simply our human nature.  We aren't out of the woods yet, not by a long shot.  We need more work!  There is a huge tax bill coming and there isn't the cash to pay it.  Maybe God didn't know about that one, perhaps He just forgot?  I hardly think so.  Only God can provide the work to cover that bill.  Renaissance Man is doing his best to find work, so we have to leave it up to Him.

If you've been following the Porsche story, you'll know we now have two in our possession.  RM and the boys worked all day on it and got one of them started, but it just won't stay started, so back the to the drawing board....but RM is convinced he'll figure it out.  Funnily enough, he is so convinced that he can get these old cars going that it occurred to him (another money making idea from above?) to list his Porsche mechanic skills on-line.  Within minutes, he had several emails asking for help on their cars.  He's since then been hired to work on some guy's car which is another small contract for RM - very funny, but a small miracle, too!  Where does he get these ideas?????  Well, I know....

Meanwhile, he's down 20 lbs. now!  His pants are starting to float on him.  His belt has slid over several notches.  To think he was carrying two bags of 10 lb. potatoes is mind boggling.  Think about that!  That is heavy!  He says he literally feels lighter.  I believe it!  He continues to eat whatever odd thing I give him.  I never thought I'd see the day that he would eat kale and eggs and tell me how delicious it was!  That's a pretty normal breakfast for him now - some green vegetable with some form of eggs on the side.  We both eat that and love it!  I think it is really neat to lose the weight debt alongside the financial debt.  It's like he said, he feels lighter, literally.  Losing the financial debt (he'll be waking up early this morning to sit down and write cheques to the supplier he owes) is exactly the same feeling - we feel lighter emotionally.  It's such a burden to carry the debt, isn't it?  How wonderful to know there is money in the bank to pay these people.

We all know that nothing comes for free though.   There's been a new theme developing in me over this past winter.....the idea of diligence vs. laziness.  These contracts have been a real challenge to complete.  It involves working outside in the frigid cold weather standing on concrete for hours (his miracle boots have saved his feet - he's still so grateful for them).  Then because these towers that he's manufacturing need to be painted, I've had to turn my house into a manufacturing facility, so all my "extra" rooms have been turned into painting labs.  It's just been too cold to paint them outside.  This has meant more heavy lifting, somewhat unnecessarily because if it had been warm RM could have simply left them in the shop and painted them there - that adds a certain physical element that is already a challenge with these towers as they are HEAVY! It is also extremely awkward getting them in and out of a small farmhouse - the house wasn't designed to have gigantic towers go in and out!  But the Bible has so much to say on even these little complaints.

When RM was building our house 3 years ago in the middle of winter, my son came across this verse, and we've never forgotten it,

Proverbs 20:4
"The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing."  Isn't that an incredible verse!  God knows the exact excuses we are going to use and makes sure there is a verse in scripture so we can't get out of working hard even in this brutally cold winter.  What is so interesting about this verse is that the consequences aren't immediate.  The effects of not working hard aren't seen for months, but then, come harvest the sluggard has NOTHING.  The Bible doesn't mince words, does it?  Not getting paid right away sometimes makes it seem like he's working for nothing.  But reading the inverse of this verse is very encouraging, "The diligent man who plows even when it is brutally cold, will not beg in harvest and will have plenty."  So, we plow, even when it is so cold and we know there will be positive consequences....eventually!!!!  RM's hard work will pay off!

How about this one - Proverbs 22:13
"The slothful man saith, There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets."  That's what the lazy man wants to say.   He doesn't want to leave his house.  He'd rather stay all cozy in his house, so he looks outside and sure enough, wouldn't you know it, there's a lion out there.  Is there really?  I somehow doubt it, but if there is, thank goodness!  Now he's got an excuse to stay home!  He was literally looking for a reason to not work, to not leave his house. Trust me, RM has wanted to do the same.  He has stood in the kitchen and looked outside, especially knowing how cold it is and he's had to psych himself up, give himself that pep talk to reminds him why he's doing what he's doing.   If he could, I'm sure he would call out, too, "I think I see a lion!  Yup, it's definitely a lion.  Too bad.  Can't work.  I'm going back to bed."  I love that verse as it is so ridiculous.  The lazy man is so desperate to get out of work that he was starting to see lions in the street.  It's really quite a comical verse!  I love that it is in the Bible.  We've also had so many excuses that we've wanted to use, but there is just no getting out of working hard.

Over the next day or so I've got more awesome stories to share on this idea of digligence vs. laziness. I've had a couple experiences with my boys over the last week that I must share.  Diligence is something we long to see in our children, isn't it?

So, back to school and "regular" life it is - may this be the week we see Spring!  It's freezing!


Friday 7 March 2014

Speaking to My Mountains

So far so good!  Yesterday was a tough day for the littlest guy.  He's not so sure he liked giving up his soother or what he liked to call his "wha whoo" (so cute - how do you spell a baby word?!).  I cannot tell you the freedom I feel not having him tied to that thing anymore.  Yes, I know it gave him a degree of comfort, but he's learning to cope without it and we're all on standby to love him even more knowing he's needing some more snuggle time these days.  It means a part of his little baby-ness is gone though and I'm sad about that.  I'm thinking of keeping him in diapers a few more years!.......nah....on second thought, that idea doesn't sound so good.

We read some good verses again yesterday that seemed awfully timely in light of how we are all trying to pray for breakthroughs in areas of our lives....

Mark 11:22, so simple and so profound,

"And Jesus answering them said unto them, 'Have faith in God.'"  You could almost just stop there.  That's it!  Just have faith in God!

verse 23:  "For verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, 'Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith."

That's how we're praying - we're speaking to our mountains - Be removed.  Be cast into the sea.  We are trying to believe with all our hearts, not doubting.  God can move mountains.  He has moved our mountains in the past.

verse 24:  "Therefore I say unto you, 'What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.'"

Of course, this does not mean whatever we want we get.  No.  The things we desire must line up with scripture.  Being free from bondage is a good thing to be free from, but like I wrote about before, sometimes God keeps us in bondage, like Joseph, for a period of time intentionally.  So I will keep praying for freedom, but I know I must be patient.

Then, on into Romans, where our kids are now memorizing....the whole book, I might add.  My goodness, it is a hard book to memorize.  The doctrine in that book is a challenge for the best theologian.  Yet there are verses that are completely simple and straight forward, like Romans 8:24 and 25....

"For we are saved by hope:  but hope that is seen is not hope:  for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?"

I loved that phrase - it isn't hope if you see it!  If you have what you are praying for you don't need hope! Hilarious!  He wants us to have hope by not having what we hope for!  It can mess with your head!  But I know what Paul is trying to communicate.

Verse 25 is great - "But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

That was how we prayed yesterday.  We are hoping for what we do not see.  We are waiting for it with patience.  

I could have written out the entire chapter 8 of Romans.  The rest of the chapter goes on to describe how all things work together for good, how nothing can separate us from the love of God, that if God is on our side, who can be against us?  What a wonderful chapter.

Alright - on to another day....I'm sure hoping Spring will come soon and trust me, that is something I do not see right now!  Winter is everywhere!  I heard someone say yesterday that they are giving up "cold" for Lent. I laughed.

Thursday 6 March 2014

A Thumb and a Soother

This has to be the funniest.  I honestly didn't plan it.  But first, the background....

We were out at a friend's home - a whole bunch of us.  Submission.....the discussion topic of the year.  We continue to marvel at the change that has come over this one wife - none of us recognize the changed woman we all see in her.  This woman has taken fasting on as a challenge like no one I've ever see been before.  She is so determined to see herself change that it is inspiring everyone around her to want the same.  Are you ready for what she said, when asked, "How is this possible?!" with respect to the new her and her submissive attitude that she is displaying?  She so eloquently said, "I have simply learned to be prepared to receive nothing in return."  That's it.  She had been praying for a changed husband at first, but had also been asking God what to do as well, asking what was wrong.  God showed her the sin in her own life first, not her husband's sin.  God will deal with her husband's sin, if there is any to be dealt with.  Her husband is His deal, not her's.  She knew she could only work on herself.  That's what she has done and the miracles that are going on in their marriage are absolutely strikingly staggering (I think that makes sense!)

This all took place on Ash Wednesday.  The beginning of Lent.  In that home, even the kids were giving something up to remember all that Jesus was doing in their home.  It was clear and obvious he was working. Certain desserts came out and their kids passed.  Hmmm....

Then as we headed home, it was the usual search for the ridiculous soother my baby loses everytime we leave.  The entire group looked high and low.  Not the first time that had happened.  So off we go, soother-less, anticipating a not-so-happy drive home.  The older ones even wondered if we should stop and go get one at a drug store.  "No way," I said.  "If we don't find one at the house (which should have had tons lying around) then, that's it.  He's done with soothers."  I didn't really believe that in my mind.  I was pretty sure we'd find one.

But we didn't!  Oh no.  What do we do now.  Now I was thinking we should go out and buy one!  He was already crying and ready for bed.  Suddenly it occurred to me.  It was Ash Wednesday!  He could give up his soother for Lent!  Ha!  I actually had been really trying to get rid of the soother for some time and because I didn't have the resolve or determination in this case (trust me - it is sooooo much easier to just give it to him when he's wanting it), I had even begun to pray about it!  I knew I would have to be the tough guy sooner or later, but when????  None of my other kids had had one past 12 months, but being the last baby....I just couldn't do it.  Suddenly seeing it that way, as a sacrifice, as a little baby version of sacrifice (though he obviously doesn't quite see it that way), helped me.  It was something I could give up for him, on his behalf.  It was perfect timing, as I knew it was only going to get harder to get rid of it.  I also knew I wanted to be rid of it by the time he was two or so.  I just didn't know how this would go over.

Meanwhile, the three year was also going to bed.  Guess what?  No soother there, but a thumb.  Yes, he loves to suck his thumb.  Another thing that I knew I needed to try to stop as it was going to be impacting his teeth coming in and I just couldn't get my head around it.  I had tried once in January, but couldn't follow through. Again, it was just easier to let him have it, so I had also prayed for help with him.  In fact, he regularly prays about it, nearly every morning at our family Bible time!

So with a crying baby in the background, I walked over to the toddler and said, "Sorry J, tonight you lose your thumb."  What!  No way!  He wasn't happy with me.  I tried to tell him about the baby and how we could not locate the soother, but that he needed to learn to sleep without it.  I told him only Jesus can truly help him and I tried to make it clear, in toddler sort of way, that that is why we celebrate Easter - Jesus can even help babies and little boys.  By this point, he was also crying (what a night!) and said, "It's too hard!"  "I know, I know," I said, "But we can pray that both you and the baby will be ok and that you will fall asleep without sucking your thumb and without the soother."  We prayed.  He was so tired, he fell asleep almost instantly.  I went back into the wimpering baby's room and patted his back several times.  I walked out of the room and sure enough, he stopped crying!  At some point in the night he woke up.  I tried not to panic, but he settled almost instantly, no soother.  I was praying that it wouldn't turn into a crying fest!  I was so grateful, he didn't wake up again.

So, it seems like the worst is over.  I just marvel at God's timing.  Like I said, I wanted so badly to help my kids with their little, I hate to even use the word, addictions, but I suppose that's what they were......I knew they both needed to stop as it just isn't cool to be sucking on a soother when you are 5 or sucking your thumb when you are 7 and I honestly didn't see it stopping just on its own.  Seeing it as a mini-sacrifice was just what I needed and having a start date like Ash Wednesday made sense to me.  I never would have thought yesterday morning, "Today's the day they lose the thumb and soother!"  Turns out, it really was more of a sacrifice, or a form of fasting in a way, for me than for them - I was the one who was more addicted than they were.  I was the one who needed to give it up.  Looking at it that way gave me the determination and resolve I was seeking.

Along those same lines, I asked my older kids to try to find something they, too, could fast or add to their day for forty days.  One of my older sons is struggling in math.  I asked him to consider getting up earlier than usual and to use that time to start specifically praying about math!  I challenged him to start on his school when it was quiet and to ask God to do a miracle in his math life.  To pray, "Lord, I need your help!  I need you to show me where I am not comprehending a concept." Our children don't have the same areas of bondage as, say, an adult, but they still have struggles.  Can they not bring even these forward to the Lord?  I think so.

So even the little people in our home, whether they like it or not, are in on the 40 days of Lent!  They might not appreciate it now, but when they are 5 and 7 and not walking around with soothers and thumbs in their mouths, they'll be able to look back and see the little miracle that happened in their lives!  I'll be sure to tell them.

Wednesday 5 March 2014

Why I Love the Number 40

It occurred to me yesterday how much I love the number 40.  Turning 40 a few years back got me on my 40 kick.  That year was the year we were building our home.  I found myself reading through the Bible and I started to notice how many times the number kept coming up - from Genesis all the way through.  Think about it - It rained for 40 days and 40 nights when Noah was in the ark.  Moses spent 40 years in Midian before he took on Pharaoh.  Both King David and King Solomon ruled for 40 years.  Then, into the new testament, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert right before his ministry began.

The year I was turning 40, I decided to count back 40 days before the actual day and take the time to be more reflective than usual, for, you guessed it, 40 days.  I was doing then what I am doing now, praying for freedom, thanking God for my first 40 years, asking him to show me what he wanted me to do with the, hopefully, future 40 years.  On the morning of the first day of the 40 day countdown, I came downstairs, full of anticipation.  It was funny, I was not looking forward to aging, but I was looking forward to what God was going to show me during the 40 day period.  When I got downstairs, there was a gift on the table!  It was as if someone knew what a special day it was for me and had arranged a gift to be there!  How could this be?  I think it was a notepad or a journal, I can't even remember, but I remember wondering what in the world was going on!  It turns out my siblings and parents had thought this through as well and had also counted down the 40 days before my birthday.  Can you believe this - for the whole forty days before I actually turned 40, I got a little gift for each of the 40 days!?!!!  I couldn't believe it.  In a way, it kind of affirmed for me what I had already been feeling. I was entering into a new stage of life, ending an old one, and the daily celebration I got through these gifts was a way of marking the entrance and the leaving.

One of the things I noticed about all things in the Bible that have to do with the number 40 is that it always seems like a time of preparation.  With Noah on the ark, Moses in Midian and Jesus in the desert - something huge always followed.  It's pretty obvious with Noah....he was responsible for populating the earth and creating followers of God!  No small task!  Moses was responsible for freeing the people of Israel from the 400 years of bondage (a multiple of 40, I might add).  Jesus?  Freeing the world from its sin.  Isn't it interesting to note that while they were in the midst of their 40 days, or in Moses' case, 40 years, each one of these men was responsible for bringing freedom to a group of people - freedom from some form of bondage in their lives.  God had to send the flood because the world was so full of evil.  The 40 days of rain was a form of washing the earth clean, literally and figuratively.  While Noah was on the ark, I'm sure it was a serious time of reflection for him - why me, God?  Why did you save me?  How are you going to use me? I'm pretty sure it was also a time of gratefulness as God spared his whole family, too.  They must have felt incredibly special.  God chose his family very specifically.  Once the rain was over, they weren't suddenly out of the ark.  They spent many more days on it, but the time of washing the world took that long.

With Moses, it was a special time for him, too.  It was during this time that he met his wife and had a family. He spent time with his father-in-law and learned much from him, too.  He became a commoner after living in a palace his whole life and perhaps it was during this time in Midian that he learned what it was like to be like the Israelites, just a regular guy.  It must have been a necessary 40 years as he was about to be used to set an entire people free from slavery.  He didn't know what lay ahead for him.  Perhaps if he had known, he would have run away from that burning bush.

Jesus also went through an incredibly challenging 40 days in the desert.  It was during this time, with no food or water, that he endured the testing from Satan, challenging everything he was about and who he was.  By passing these tests, he was prepared for the intense 3 years of ministry that lay ahead for him, not to mention a cruel death.

This is just scratching the surface of what I learned during that 40 day period right before I turned 40, but it made me take on my turning 40 as not just not another birthday.  I thanked God for my first 40 years.  I thanked him for the many opportunities to learn that he had given me, both the ups and downs, and I thanked him for what lay ahead, for what he had somehow prepared for me.  It seems interesting that I now find myself writing about freedom, seeking to encourage others to find freedom, not just financial, but in all areas of their life...was this one of the things he was preparing me for?

The day I turned 40 I was pregnant, I just didn't know it yet.  I found out a couple of weeks later.  I was so happy!  It was our 7th child (another neat number!)  If I wasn't in the large family category before, I certainly was now and I loved it! I waddled around that 40th year, so thrilled to still be able to have children as so many at that age are not able to.  I wondered how that baby would fit into God's plan for my life.  We call him our Basement Baby as he was born in my friend's basement where we were staying just before we moved into our new house.  We were never supposed to be there that long, in their house, and I never planned on giving birth there.  It all just kind of happened!  That sweet little baby has turned into the 3 year that has taught me many humbling lessons as a mom.  God continues to humble me through this little guy - it's all in the plan!

So why am I sharing all of this?  Because, like I said before, it is Ash Wednesday.  Forty days lie ahead of me before Easter.  Again, like I said before, Easter is the ultimate symbol of freedom - freedom from all bondage in all of its awful forms, all because Christ came into this world, died, and rose again.  I'm seeking freedom.  Join me.  Forty days.  It's why He came.