This has to be the funniest. I honestly didn't plan it. But first, the background....
We were out at a friend's home - a whole bunch of us. Submission.....the discussion topic of the year. We continue to marvel at the change that has come over this one wife - none of us recognize the changed woman we all see in her. This woman has taken fasting on as a challenge like no one I've ever see been before. She is so determined to see herself change that it is inspiring everyone around her to want the same. Are you ready for what she said, when asked, "How is this possible?!" with respect to the new her and her submissive attitude that she is displaying? She so eloquently said, "I have simply learned to be prepared to receive nothing in return." That's it. She had been praying for a changed husband at first, but had also been asking God what to do as well, asking what was wrong. God showed her the sin in her own life first, not her husband's sin. God will deal with her husband's sin, if there is any to be dealt with. Her husband is His deal, not her's. She knew she could only work on herself. That's what she has done and the miracles that are going on in their marriage are absolutely strikingly staggering (I think that makes sense!)
This all took place on Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. In that home, even the kids were giving something up to remember all that Jesus was doing in their home. It was clear and obvious he was working. Certain desserts came out and their kids passed. Hmmm....
Then as we headed home, it was the usual search for the ridiculous soother my baby loses everytime we leave. The entire group looked high and low. Not the first time that had happened. So off we go, soother-less, anticipating a not-so-happy drive home. The older ones even wondered if we should stop and go get one at a drug store. "No way," I said. "If we don't find one at the house (which should have had tons lying around) then, that's it. He's done with soothers." I didn't really believe that in my mind. I was pretty sure we'd find one.
But we didn't! Oh no. What do we do now. Now I was thinking we should go out and buy one! He was already crying and ready for bed. Suddenly it occurred to me. It was Ash Wednesday! He could give up his soother for Lent! Ha! I actually had been really trying to get rid of the soother for some time and because I didn't have the resolve or determination in this case (trust me - it is sooooo much easier to just give it to him when he's wanting it), I had even begun to pray about it! I knew I would have to be the tough guy sooner or later, but when???? None of my other kids had had one past 12 months, but being the last baby....I just couldn't do it. Suddenly seeing it that way, as a sacrifice, as a little baby version of sacrifice (though he obviously doesn't quite see it that way), helped me. It was something I could give up for him, on his behalf. It was perfect timing, as I knew it was only going to get harder to get rid of it. I also knew I wanted to be rid of it by the time he was two or so. I just didn't know how this would go over.
Meanwhile, the three year was also going to bed. Guess what? No soother there, but a thumb. Yes, he loves to suck his thumb. Another thing that I knew I needed to try to stop as it was going to be impacting his teeth coming in and I just couldn't get my head around it. I had tried once in January, but couldn't follow through. Again, it was just easier to let him have it, so I had also prayed for help with him. In fact, he regularly prays about it, nearly every morning at our family Bible time!
So with a crying baby in the background, I walked over to the toddler and said, "Sorry J, tonight you lose your thumb." What! No way! He wasn't happy with me. I tried to tell him about the baby and how we could not locate the soother, but that he needed to learn to sleep without it. I told him only Jesus can truly help him and I tried to make it clear, in toddler sort of way, that that is why we celebrate Easter - Jesus can even help babies and little boys. By this point, he was also crying (what a night!) and said, "It's too hard!" "I know, I know," I said, "But we can pray that both you and the baby will be ok and that you will fall asleep without sucking your thumb and without the soother." We prayed. He was so tired, he fell asleep almost instantly. I went back into the wimpering baby's room and patted his back several times. I walked out of the room and sure enough, he stopped crying! At some point in the night he woke up. I tried not to panic, but he settled almost instantly, no soother. I was praying that it wouldn't turn into a crying fest! I was so grateful, he didn't wake up again.
So, it seems like the worst is over. I just marvel at God's timing. Like I said, I wanted so badly to help my kids with their little, I hate to even use the word, addictions, but I suppose that's what they were......I knew they both needed to stop as it just isn't cool to be sucking on a soother when you are 5 or sucking your thumb when you are 7 and I honestly didn't see it stopping just on its own. Seeing it as a mini-sacrifice was just what I needed and having a start date like Ash Wednesday made sense to me. I never would have thought yesterday morning, "Today's the day they lose the thumb and soother!" Turns out, it really was more of a sacrifice, or a form of fasting in a way, for me than for them - I was the one who was more addicted than they were. I was the one who needed to give it up. Looking at it that way gave me the determination and resolve I was seeking.
Along those same lines, I asked my older kids to try to find something they, too, could fast or add to their day for forty days. One of my older sons is struggling in math. I asked him to consider getting up earlier than usual and to use that time to start specifically praying about math! I challenged him to start on his school when it was quiet and to ask God to do a miracle in his math life. To pray, "Lord, I need your help! I need you to show me where I am not comprehending a concept." Our children don't have the same areas of bondage as, say, an adult, but they still have struggles. Can they not bring even these forward to the Lord? I think so.
So even the little people in our home, whether they like it or not, are in on the 40 days of Lent! They might not appreciate it now, but when they are 5 and 7 and not walking around with soothers and thumbs in their mouths, they'll be able to look back and see the little miracle that happened in their lives! I'll be sure to tell them.
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