I'm up early today. I've been giving myself a few sleep-in days which has been so nice as we've had a lot of late nights and we are not late night people. I tried to sleep-in again today, but no, I had several visitors into my room last night with bad dreams or feeling scared or waking up cold, so I finally stopped fighting it and woke up. Now I'm holding a toddler on my lap who feels feverish and typing at the same time. This time of year seems to bring on the viruses. I can only pray that it won't sweep through the whole house.
It was a wonderful day again yesterday, just like last year. I was amazed at how everyone woke up so late, as we'd had super late nights nearly three nights in a row. My daughter had made cinnamon buns so we had that for breakfast. Then we opened the surprise tickets to the show we'll be going to today. They were super excited as they weren't expecting that. I reminded my son how he'd made that comment a while back about taking the magic out of Christmas with less gifts now, but I pointed out to him, "Look at the younger four children. They came downstairs today and all they said was, 'Merry Christmas, Mom!' They didn't run around wondering where the pile of gifts were. This is all they will ever know and they are completely ok with that!" I went on to explain how so often, no matter what we spend, even if we buy the perfect gifts that everyone wanted, when all is said and done, there's always a little point in the morning where a dissastisfaction seems to settle in, "Is that it? Isn't there more?" We don't have to worry about that anymore as things never truly satisfy. He agreed with everything I said and told me many times throughout the day what a wonderful Christmas he had had. He hadn't been showered with gifts, per se, but he saw how many blessings we'd had come our way this year. I thanked all of them again for how they are changing the generations to come. I thanked them for helping me have a much more peaceful season.
We enjoyed so many wonderful fun things again that didn't cost money this year. We got together with friends this past week and enjoyed a variety of soups one of the moms made. Later that night the kids all got out their instruments and we sat around the piano and sang led by the kids! It was really beautiful. Tonight, after the show, we'll go to another friends' house and the plan is to be there until midnight if my kids get their way! They said it'll be a perfect day to spend it like that, up late with friends, after a fun show in Toronto.
Earlier on in the week I delivered cake pops to our neighbours. I've done something like that every year. At first I did it just to meet people, but I've kept up the tradition despite the fact it seems like so much work! I don't always take the time to knock on their doors now. I'll leave it in their mailboxes if I don't see them home. This year was different though. Ever since those push-you-out-of-your-comfort-zone street preachers came and ever since my daughter started leaving tracts wherever she goes, she said matter-of-factly, "Why don't you include a tract with your card this year, Mom?" "Uh......perhaps?" What I was thinking in my head was, "Cake pops are good enough. That shows I'm a Christian. There is no need to put my neck on the line and be some crazy tract-leavin' neighbour."
I called my husband to see what he thought. He was with me. Good, whew. Didn't need to do it. But, of course, my conscience got the better of me within seconds. I started to think about all that had been going on my head recently. The pastor did his talk last Sunday on Joseph and how once he was told in a dream to take Mary as his wife, he just woke up and that's what he did! No doubts, no wondering if it was all in his head, he simply obeyed, despite all the opposition he no doubt experienced. How could this be? Because he recognized he heard the truth. Once you know you've heard directly from God, there is no way you can question it. There is no way you can be swayed even when it means putting your neck on the line. Joseph knew he'd heard truth and he acted on it. I also knew the truth. I, too, needed to just act on it - obey. But I really didn't want to!
Then the pastor read a passage from a book called Reckless Abandon by David Sitton. This is the man who played a part in influencing those two young missionaries to go work in northern Ontario, the ones who came to our church a few weeks back. David Sitton got the quote "recklessly abandoned" from Ed Scully, one of the "Ecuador Five" who died alongside Jim Elliot back in the 50s. He wrote how he wanted to be recklessly abandoned for God and that he was willing to give his life for even a handful of natives. He did, only days after he wrote that. I asked if I could borrow the book and have been reading it non-stop since Sunday. Sitton asks, "Why aren't we willing to do that?" It comes down to unfortunately not believing that Christ is worth it. Those words started milling in my head after my daughter suggested I put in a tract with the cards. Why was I afraid? Sitton came to the conclusion that it was a win-win, just like the apostle Paul. If he died, yeah! Then he was with Jesus in heaven. If he lived, bonus! Then he could continue to share Christ longer on earth.
What was the worst thing that could happen to me? My neighbours could kill me, but the likelihood of that was fairly slim, at least I thought so! My neighbours could hate me, but the thought of that was also fairly slim. They might think I'm weird or fanatical, but I could handle that. I quickly called my husband back, "I'm going to do it. Are you ok with that? What's the worst thing that could happen to us? Are you ok if they think we're weird?" My husband was on board right away, "I can handle it, " he said. It was decided. I ended up including a tract, but I also wrote a note that was slightly different in each one, but said something like this, "I'm including a Christian tract this year that I hope will give you something to think about this season." I signed all of our names and included the treats. Since then, no one has egged our home. No one has returned the cake pops. We'll see if anyone brings it up when we see them this year.
I'm not sure that anyone will come to Christ because of what I did. I actually think it was more for my benefit to do something that was hard for me. If I keep attempting things like this perhaps it will get easier and easier. I think what finally pushed me over the edge was realizing I was saying to myself and my daughter, "Christ isn't worth it. My comfort level is more important to me." I knew that wasn't true, but that was what I would have been communicating. My own parents did something similar when I was a kid in our neighbourhood. They gave out Josh McDowell's book More Than a Carpenter, which has just been re-released and updated. They gave a copy to each neighbour. I remember thinking that was pretty bold even back then. But nothing ever came of it that was negative. If anything my parents always had a great relationship with all of our neighbours. They were one of the more respected couples on the block. If that sticks out in my mind, maybe what I did will stick out in my kids' minds when they get older and perhaps they'll be willing to try something that requires boldness, too.
Perhaps that will be the theme this year - recklessly abandoned, but not just for the sake of it, for Christ's sake, for truth. What's the worst thing that could happen to me? It's a win-win, right?
Well, the little sickie is back in his crib. I'm going to attempt making breakfast while everyone is still sleeping.
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