Not Your Average Romance Novel.....

I'm in the middle of reading the most beautiful love story right now.  It has all the elements of any good novel - suspense, tragedy, romance, humour, even war, but what makes this love story so fascinating is that I know the characters - my grandparents.  My uncle, my Dad's brother, has put together the most unique story I've ever read.  He took all the letters my grandfather ever wrote to my grandmother, particularly the ones he wrote while he was away at war (World War 2), and put them in chronological order while at the same time including the timeline of the war, focusing on the Regiment my grandfather was a part of at the time.  He then turned it into a book for the family as a keepsake.

It is amazing to find out a side of my grandparents that makes me so endeared them.  Unfortunately, my uncle could only include my grandfather's perspective as he wasn't able to keep all the letters my grandma wrote to him.  She kept every single letter, every single gift, every single memorabilia he ever sent.  However, because of how he responds to her letters, you can tell what she might have said, or asked.

The saddest thing is that my grandparents are no longer alive.  Both of them passed away in their 90s only a few years ago.  We never lived in the same province, so we never saw them more than once or twice a year my whole life.  I thought I knew them, but clearly I didn't, not the way I wished.  My uncle compiled this book in such a way that he didn't write out every single letter, apparently some of the details were quite intimate!  But, he includes enough to show how much they loved each other.  It just makes me wish I could talk to them now more than ever.  I have so many questions for both of them that this book has raised for me.  Questions I was never aware enough to ask when I was younger, about their lives, how they made it being separated for 4 years.... so many questions as now I realize how much I didn't know them and wish I knew them better!  Good to keep in mind while my children still have their grandparents around.

Grandma was left back at the farm in Saskatchewan with her 2 young boys (one of them being the uncle who compiled the book years later, and the other was my Dad, who it turns out was quite the little rascal - I loved reading about him as a young boy!).  She was a young mom living with her in-laws, which apparently was not an easy situation.  All my grandpa does is write letters to encourage her to persevere, to hang in there.  I cannot believe how well he knows his wife, her struggles, and yet he only speaks lovingly to her.  At one point, he does call her out on her fretfulness, though, but even then, he writes it in such a gentle way, it could have only been received tenderly.

One of the things I have taken away from reading this amazing experience is how God used it in their lives.  They feared God and refer to His goodness even in the midst of their pain.  Being apart must have been the hardest thing that ever happened to them in their whole married life (and they ended up being married over 70 years!), but it taught them many things.  Each of them grew so much as people.  While they were away both of them went through health issues requiring hospitalization where they weren't able to be near one another right away.  I imagine this must have been so hard! Yet I think that grew character in them, too.

For my grandma, she had been left as a young wife full of insecurities, but I think when she was left on her own to handle all these difficult circumstances, it grew her into the strong woman I met when I was a child.  Same with my grandfather, he left as a young man thinking only his little world at the farm was all that existed.  He traveled the world and saw all sorts of places, met all sorts of interesting people and learned so many amazing skills.  It showed him that the world had been advancing, even in terms of farm machinery, that he hadn't known if he had never left the farm.  It gave him a vision for what he could do when he got back.  He was going to take that farm and turn it into something great!  When he was in England, roaming around the countryside in the midst of his training, he noticed how beautiful it was.  It gave him a vision for beautifying the farm and if you went to visit it now, you would see he did a great job, making a quaint little place in the middle of nowhere that was like a paradise for me when I was a kid.  Even to go back now, it is so beautiful still.  They didn't have running water or electricity, but my dad tells me they were the first ones to get electricity in their little farming community and I think that is a direct result of my grandpa going away, seeing how others did things.  He also grew as a man of character, too.  He wrote in one of his letters that he was coming back as a changed man, stronger.  All I could think was how God can use everything for good, even war.

One of the other interesting aspects to this whole book was grandpa's focus on debt.  He was sick and tired of it.  It was as if I was reading a blog he'd written!  He often had to borrow money from another soldier to get by until the next pay period as they just never gave him enough to live on it seemed.  Plus, a lot of his money went back to my grandma which got eaten up right away as she had to feed her boys and get them warm clothes to wear.  He couldn't stand the financial pressure and I think was quite determined that it wouldn't be that way the rest of his life.  They were never particularly wealthy as long as I knew them, but I think they were very wise with their money and always generous and it seems to me that they ended up doing very well.  If nothing else, it sure made me appreciate the fact that we've come by our debt convictions honestly.  Even my grandparents knew the frustration of debt and how the pressure it created was so oppressive.  Grandpa was determined to not let it rule his life once he came back.  I appreciated reading that so much.

I could write much more, but the day has started over here and I've got hungry kids to feed, too!  More later.......

Deep Thoughts with the Farrier

What a great evening yesterday. The weather was perfect, warm, breezy/windy (always a little tornado-like up here).  It was my husband's favourite time of the year.... when the farrier comes to give the horses their "hoof-icure".  The two we "horse-sat" over the winter have to go back to work today (camp) and they needed to go back looking good and cared for.

My husband has discovered that he loves large animals. There is something about man-handling these beasts that he just eats up.  One of our horses is a little wild and definitely takes two to handle. I can hardly watch it as the farrier has one leg and my husband has the other, the horse trying to buck the whole time.  The little horse doesn't know he's a mini.  He barely comes up to my husband's waist, yet he acts like he's a thoroughbred race horse (short horse syndrome....)

This farrier is awesome.  He knows my oldest son, who is now 16, is hopefully going to be a vet, at least is making steps towards it by working in a clinic each day, so he gives him opportunities to help or learn a new skill each time he comes.  Yesterday was great as he actually came over and showed my son how to pick up the horse's leg, put it between his own legs and dig out all the stuff that was stuck in the hoof (sounds disgusting, but it is necessary!). It was hard work for him and he will have sore muscles today, but it was a great learning experience.

I don't usually come down to watch, but this time, I did.  RM wanted me to see what was going on and I wanted the younger kids, especially the younger boys, to get an appetite for this kind of thing.  Who knows if they'll ever have a farm or animals, but I wanted them to have an understanding of what is involved and the amount of work it takes.  I also like having them see the older boys work hard as they'll always think it is normal if they see their siblings doing it.

Just as I arrived, my husband was talking to the farrier about his family, how many kids he had, etc.  I love these types of conversations!  So I jumped right in.  He started talking about how they have two and his wife wants more, but he says, "No way, I'm done."  I couldn't resist teasing him, so I said, "You don't want to have your wife hang around me then.... I'll just tell her to keep going."  I thought he would have left it at that, but then he kept the conversation going, asking all sorts of questions, running past us all his doubts, why he thinks more kids would be nuts, etc.  By this point, we were all kind of engaged in the conversation, including the kids, telling them how everyone helps out and how it gets easier with each one.  I asked him, "It's financial, isn't it?  Is that why you don't want more?"  "Oh yeah."  He had just stated that his daughter had gotten baptized on the weekend, so I asked him, "If you just baptized your daughter on the weekend, you must be people of faith."  "For sure."  I said, "We are, too, and having more children has just strengthened our faith as we trust God to provide.  We are no longer able to pat ourselves on the back and say, 'Look what we've done.  Look what we can do.'  It's not an easier life, but much more fulfilling.....".   He seemed reflective. 

Again,  I stopped.  I didn't want to go on, but he kept bringing up more arguments and how basically he and his wife have many quiet nights as they clearly disagree and I think he ends up on the couch.  He wanted to know if our girls were as helpful as our boys (as they weren't around).  I said, "Yes!  They run my house!"  Then, he gave us the ultimate compliment, which I just praise God for, as he said, "I see joy when I'm here."  How does he see that?  It was a special thing to hear.  He talked about how this conversation just keeps coming up over and over with his wife.  She seems relentless. I understood and explained how I had been the same way, and told him why, at least in my opinion, why that is by telling him my observations on the animal kingdom.  My favourite story.... where Mrs. Fox goes up to Mr. Fox and tells him, "I think I want more fox babies....."  "Uh, no, Mrs. Fox, I think we have enough pups. We should really wait and space them out a bit.  I'd like you to go back to work catching beavers and I'll think about it, but definitely not now.  We can't afford it."    I explained to him how obviously that would never happen in the animal kingdom.  All the animals do is have babies!  Because it is natural!  It is what they are created to do!  Yet, somehow, human beings can be self-focused or fearful or influenced by the world that they refuse the natural gift of having children.  He was speechless.  He had never thought of it like that, you could tell.  He told me again how many quiet nights there are as his wife is so jealous of others having babies.  Again, I told him how she is sad!  She is being denied what she was created to be, a mother.... who longs for more, a God-created desire.  I wouldn't have gone on, but he wouldn't drop it!  He was working on the horse the whole time.  Finally, he was done.  He got up, came over to me and shook my hand and said, "It was really nice to meet you.  No, really.  It was really nice to meet you."  I hope he meant it!  I think he did.  I'm sure his wife was thrilled he'd talked to me!  I hope they didn't have another quiet night.

Being on the farm day in and day out doesn't seem to give me lots of opportunities to meet people.  I long to share my faith.  But then, God brings people to me, like the farrier, not everyday, but just when He seems to think is the right time.  I try to make the most of every opportunity.  I ask for His wisdom.  In the meantime I share my faith with my kids, knowing they are the ones that need discipling the most. 

Lessons in Child Training, "Wife"-ing, Cattle Squeezing, and Bold Men

A couple of funny follow up stories from my kid experiment....

Because I'm seriously trying to crackdown on the bickering between the younger four, I've been more of top of it than usual.  Each time in the last week, as soon as I heard crying or someone upset, I called the guilty ones all in and we had a debrief on what happened.  Talk about cramping your playing.  That was almost effective enough, having a little court session when all you want to do is go back to playing.  Oh well!  After figuring out what we could have done, I pulled out paper and had them start writing the verses.  Turns out 10 times was perhaps a bit much and once was quite a bit of work for the real little ones, so at the end of the one verse, I had them dictate an apology to the offended person.  See how long this takes????  No wonder they had been fighting, it's a lot of work to really deal with it!  Perhaps I'd let too much slide in the past as it takes so much time to train!

At the end of all the writing, apologizing, etc., my 6 year old came up to me and said, "I don't think I'm going to say that again (the unkind word, that is)."  I said, "Really?  Why?"  "It was really hard to write all that down!  This was a great punishment!  I don't want to do that again!"  Perfect.  Mission accomplished.  And sure enough, the next time they wrote the verse down, only a day later, that was the last time I've had them in "court" in at least for A FEW HOURS!  Can't let up.  Must keep at it!

The goal, which I tell them all the time...is to get them married!  And that their siblings are practice for marriage.  They will probably end up marrying someone just like one of their brothers or sisters, so why not learn to get along with a future spouse now?  My prayer is they'll pick this up sooner than later.

On a different note, yet somewhat related, I was reading a verse on being a quarrelsome wife, which I had read many times before, but I had never seen one little section in the verse that talks about how it is "better to be on the corner of a roof than with a quarrelsome wife" (somewhat paraphrased).  Right beside the quarrelsome wife, there were two little words I'd never seen before...." and fretful".  I had never noticed that "fretful" went right alongside "quarrelsome".  I've noticed, too, that if I'm not being quarrelsome, I am being fretful.  I can make up problems that don't even exist in my head!  Sometimes these problems can actually wake me up at night and keep me from sleeping which makes me no good to anyone the next day, including my husband.

I'll give an awful example of how I played mind games with myself last week and put myself in a tizzy by being fretful, nearly making my husband nuts.  I noticed a car pull up to our road and then go to the telephone pole where it looked like he was disconnecting a wire.  Instead of not worrying and not being fretful, my mind went to the worst case scenario and made me think that this guy was disconnecting us for some reason.  I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that we were current on all our bills, but instead of remaining calm, I jumped to conclusions and thought, "Oh no!  He's disconnecting us!  I better run and tell my husband!"  My husband was in the middle of a big shipment going out, but I still interrupted him and, of course, he could do nothing about it at the time.  After he was done getting his things shipped, I ran out to him again and told him the internet wasn't working, just like I thought!  I told him what happened and he rebuked me on the spot, "Stop it, " he said, "Even if what you are saying is true, we can figure this out.  It's just a matter of a phone call.  Just stop it."  Immediately, I felt conviction and the verse actually came to my mind about being a fretful wife.  I apologized immediately.

Turns out it was a complete coincidence.  It was one phone all, just like he said, and it was all straightened out.  I have no idea who the guy was and what he did when he came to our house, but I'm convinced he was sent just to make me worried and I fell for it.  My fretfulness made my husband so upset as it made him second-guess whether we were current.  It interrupted his shipment and distracted him terribly.  It frustrated him that I didn't even try to remain calm!  I think he would have moved to the corner of a roof as it really would have been a better place at that moment.  I've been seriously trying to take all fretful thoughts captive since then, including my middle of the night worries, and what a difference it's been making.  Usually I think of myself as someone who doesn't worry so much anymore, but I realize, I'm still on the verge of falling into that trap if I don't catch myself right away.

Another financial blessing occurred this weekend, a real miracle as far as I'm concerned.  We had bought a cattle squeeze (you don't even want to know what that is for.....) a year or two ago and never used it.  It wouldn't work for our cows as they have huge horns, so it sat on our property collecting dust.  I was so sure that we were going to become one of those farms that collects old machinery for years and turns into a junk pit!  But we became convinced in our debt-termination that we should sell everything on the property that we can, so we listed this bizarre thing and unbelievably someone bought it this weekend.  He and his wife drove up and looked at it and said the funniest things, "Oh, this will work perfect for us!  It's just the right size!  I love that it's portable!"  You would have thought they were talking about a piece of furniture, not something that can help you castrate your bulls.  So funny.  They left and we had cash in hand, a beautiful thing.  Our farm gets decluttered and we can pay the piano teacher! Yeah!

I am learning so much, every day.  I see how God teaches me how much I still need to learn as a mom in training my children, where I lack, where I've made mistakes, how I need to put long hours in bringing them up.  I also see where I need much improvement as a wife, even twenty years into our marriage.  I guess you never stop learning to be a better wife.  I see where my faith is being stretched in our finances and how God is still so good to us despite our many mistakes in the past.  I love how He blesses us in spite of our mistakes.  One thing I read again in that devotional was a quote from Spurgeon that says, "The Lord will follow through on His covenant promises.  Whatever He takes and holds in His hand He will accomplish.  Therefore His past mercies are guarantees for the future and worthy reasons for continuing to cry out to Him."  I think He gives us those little blessings once in a while to carry us, as a "guarantee for the future".  And it sure does carry me.  I'm so grateful for when those blessings come.  They seem to occur just when I need them most.

One final great story.  We've been checking out churches in the area and have had a hard time settling on one in particular as it is such a big move.  I am the friendly one between RM and myself.  I love meeting new people, RM, not so much.  I wear a smile on my face and try to be inviting towards others.  RM has the bulldog look and isn't as inviting towards others.  I get approached by the new church members.  Not him.  He leaves feeling frustrated at the church.  I leave feeling frustrated with him!  So I prayed this week with Stephanie that some man would be bold enough to approach my bulldog husband, a man of courage, someone that my husband could respect.  If that didn't happen, I wasn't sure what would happen.  Would we have to leave, try another church?  Perhaps a dumb condition, but my husband needs strong men in his life and so far, no one was bold enough to approach him.  Does he look that scary?  Perhaps!

We had arrived late.  For some reason the service started 30 minutes earlier.  We didn't know because we aren't on their email list!  We nearly turned around, but then decided to go.  I think Satan would have loved it if we hadn't gone as God was waiting to work.  We sat in the last row with our whole crew.  My three year old had already done a great job in the middle of the service letting out a sigh that was soooo loud at the most inopportune time that nearly every person in the rows in front of us turned around and laughed so hard that the pastor said from the front, "Why are you all laughing?". He hadn't heard my kid's sigh!  Oops.  Well, the service wasn't over even 2 minutes when the pastor literally walked from the front, right up to my husband, gave him a firm handshake (that means a lot to RM) and wanted to know all about us, who we were, why we were there, that he had noticed us before, but hadn't had a chance to meet us, wanted to meet, to get together, etc., etc.  I nearly started crying.  He was a man of courage.  He wasn't afraid to meet my husband!  He made my day.  He was the best person that could have met him.  He was God's answer to my prayers.  Doesn't that just tell you how God cares for even the littlest details?  Needless to say, I think we'll be sticking around this church for awhile.

Pray, Call, "Kill with Kindness"......Rules for Getting Along with Sibs

We've been having a lot of sibling "interactions" lately that have had one or the other sibling left in tears, particularly with the younger 4.  I had had enough of this and decided I had to do something and focus more in this area of training as it wasn't improving on its own.  All along we had encouraged kindness, of course, but it seemed they just couldn't pull it off in the heat of the moment.

We had been reading in Proverbs in the morning and I had been focusing on a few verses each day that really stuck out to me.  We would read from the chapter that corresponded with the day of the month (Ch. 19 for the 19th, etc.). The day that their little tiffs were really getting to me, I said, "You watch, there is probably going to be a verse on just this!" And sure enough, I came across Proverbs 19:11, "Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook an offense."  Fantastic!  I could sense a great lecture coming, but instead we just took that verse apart and discussed it together.  But then, I came up with a plan with them to put all this into practice.

We decided they needed to do three things before they reacted to a sibling:

1.  They had to try to stop and pray and ask God for self-control.
2.  They needed to call for help if they couldn't solve it on their own.
3.  They had to try to "kill" their sibling with kindness instead of hurting them.  In other words, try to do something completely opposite to how they were feeling to diffuse the situation.

We also decided there would be consequences if they didn't follow these rules and if a fight ensued:

1.  Biblical correction (for a politically correct term)
2.  They would write out the verse from Proverbs 10 times.
3.  They would pay me at least a quarter if they fought.

Everyone seemed to agree and day 1 went so well!  They actually told me that they each found themselves praying at one point during the day asking God for self-control!  I hardly got called to get involved.  The kill with kindness thing seems a bit harder to do as it goes against everything in their nature to do that.  My one daughter, however, who was soooo frustrated with her brother came and told me her situation.  I suggested instead of freaking out on him as she felt, why not completely turn things around and make him an iced-cappuccino as a surprise, and wait to see his reaction.  She actually liked this idea and actually did it.  She brought him one outside and to her amazement he was so thrilled (and taken aback, I'm sure!).  He then came back in the house and helped her finish the dishes and they got along the rest of the evening. 

I feel like it's a turning point in their lives.  They are all older now and they all have more of a sense of self-control.  They are not all toddlers anymore, just one of those, so they really have no excuses anymore.  To see that it is basically just a habit makes me think that it won't be easy to change, but it is absolutely possible.  It's quite cute to listen to my 6 year old, "I did pray, but I forgot to kill with kindness.  I couldn't remember that one."  And my 8 year old, too, "I did two of the things!"  They are really having a hard time with the third.  So that is the one that needs more practice.

Now we are mostly through my husband's latest contract.  It's always a huge physical challenge to him and he admits that he does find himself complaining a lot about the labour, but he recently found himself back in his shop, working hard as usual when it occurred to him how grateful he needed to be instead.  There is a chance he could get another order that would involve more hard work.  Part of us wants this contract, but another part of us doesn't want the hard work!  We're too old!  But then we think, if God thinks we can handle it, we'll take it!  So now we are praying to that end.  In fact, I even want the contract now (not that we are being offered it, I wish!). 

Yesterday, in the devotional I was reading, it talked about the verse in Genesis where Abraham's servant was looking for a wife for Isaac.  "Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.... Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, "Praise be to the Lord,... who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness." (Gen. 24:15, 26-27)   The devotional said, "Every godly prayer is answered before the prayer itself is finished - 'Before he had finished praying...'"   It is exciting to think our prayers are answered often before we are done praying, as long as they are in "in faith and in Christ's name".  It may be much later before we see the answer, but we can close our prayers with "praise be to the Lord, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness" each time.  So, in boldness yesterday, I prayed for that contract.  How do I know it is in God's will?  Truthfully, I don't know that it is that exact contract of course, but I do know that it is God's will for RM to provide for our family.  I know that he has to be diligent and not slothful.  I know that working hard is, frankly, just part of the curse.  I know that God doesn't love debt and that this contract would be a great step in the right direction, so now we keep working, doing what He's already given us to do, and then we trust Him for our future and hopefully that contract will be a part of it.  If not, He'll provide another way.  Our lives are in His hands either way. 

Hairdresser Reflections, Fireworks, Youth Worship, Car Washes and BBQs

"Maybe we can do that tomorrow, " I said to Jonas yesterday when he asked if we could go to our friend's house to look for snakes.

"But tomorrow is soooo far away! Today just started!"  Isn't that a great line?!  We don't want to wait until tomorrow because today just started! 

The long weekend is over and it was a beautiful weekend - warm and breezy and not too hot, really perfect weather-wise.  Earlier on in the week, someone had come over to the house from the city.  She wasn't really sure what to do with our farm, not to mention the dandelions.  In the city, dandelions are unacceptable.  Trust me, I know, I lived on a property where every weed was handpicked out.  Having her around made me feel so apologetic for all that was undone on the farm.  I had to stop myself from explaining everything, why this isn't done, why that isn't done, etc.  I was so conscious of the farm-look, instead of remembering we have the farm look because we live on a farm! 

A couple of days later, my hairdresser came over to pick up a kitten with her daughter-in-law.  (I love the fact I have that kind of a relationship with my hairdresser!).  Interestingly, she came from the same city I did, which is why we connected in the first place.  She walked around the farm with her little granddaughter and just kept saying, "I envy you.  This is so great."  I told her about the other lady who had come over and couldn't believe how many dandelions we had, but how living out on the farm now gave us a certain freedom to have a dandelion-filled farm!  She laughed as she knew what I was talking about.  I asked her if she would ever go back to the city and she said, "No way.  There is more to life than a $150 bottle of wine!"  It was good for me to be reminded of how living on the farm means life isn't as tidy.  I have manure and hay on my floor pretty much all year long.  I try to sweep and vacuum, but it just doesn't have the city look that I long for, but then I have to remember, I DON'T LIVE IN THE CITY ANYMORE!!!!  So, I must learn to not worry that my farm (and house) may just have the undone look a little longer, but that is ok.  There is more to life than $150 bottle of "tidy".

We usually do fireworks on July 1, but the kids always want to do them every long weekend.  Fortunately for us, we live on the top of a hill surrounded by countryside so I told the kids, "You watch.  We won't need fireworks. "  Sure enough, as soon as it got dark, the party started all around.  From nearly every way we turned we saw some.  We must have counted fireworks from at least 10 different locations!  It was awesome!  Just another blessing in my opinion.

My daughter got it in her head to have some of her friends over and have a kind of youth worship night around the campfire.  That was super neat.  First they all tired themselves out with soccer and volleyball (my volleyball, I might add, from Mother's Day!  Ha.  I wondered if they might claim it as their own....). Then off to the campfire for all the classics, hotdogs, marshmallows (I wish we could come up with something a little healthier....)... and their guitars.  It seems they are all trying to pick up this versatile instrument, pardon the pun.  I guess piano just isn't as transportable, so my two oldest are determined to learn, fortunately for us, on their own.  My daughter is quite good already and my son saw how quickly she picked it up and is now trying as well.  It works real well for campfires!  It was nice to listen to it from inside.  Teenagers singing hymns?  Amazing.  I have to admit, a couple pop songs came out, but it was still really neat.  I was so grateful that someone thought to build a fire pit years ago on this property as we use it all the time.

Earlier on in the day, the four older children and RM went to pick up a huuuge car engine that he plans on putting in one of the Porsches.  Remember that car idea?  Fixing up the sports cars to sell and make a profit?  Still happening, just slower than I imagined.  Unfortunately for us, it isn't a quick drop of an engine into the old car.  This engine needs to be repaired, too.  But we are once again turning it into "Shop Class" and he'll be teaching the boys how to fix an engine which I know they'll need to learn one day.  I watch my husband fix cars all the time, even this weekend he replaced all the brakes on his truck!  But it saves us so much money.  I know our boys need to learn this stuff, so even if it takes a bit longer on these sports cars than I pictured, it is still a worthwhile project.  Perhaps the payout will be right when we need it.

I was on my own with the little 4 and wondered what I could do for free!  I didn't want to go anywhere and spend money on anything, but it was so nice out!  How could I keep them outside with no pool to speak of in the warm weather.  I pray about even things like that, so I prayed, "Lord, what can I do with the kids that would be fun?!"  I knew what I wanted to do.  I wanted to garden, but there's no way I can even think about that until there is another cheque and RM is done his current contract.  I also wanted to clean the basement, but I also need RM to clear out the garage so I can move everything out of there so I can move all the basement bins in his shop to avoid all the flooding we've had.  He has to be done his contract to do that, too.  Not to mention, generally speaking, the kids don't like cleaning the basement.

Suddenly, it occurred to me, "Hey!  Why don't we wash the van!  I'll get a hose and some soapy sponges and you guys can surprise Dad when he gets home to a clean van!"  To my amazement, they loved the idea!  Thank you, Lord!  So they worked on the van with the cool water and a window washer for a long time.  Then I said, "Go get your bikes!"  They were into that, too!  Then I got all the old kiddie toys for Brock and they washed those, too.  So it was fun, outside, with water, for a good long time.  Another great activity - for free!

Meanwhile, I was a little disappointed with my hopes for a garden even from last year!  But I've learned, if I allow myself to stay in the place, it does me no good.  So I thought to myself, what could I do with this gift of time (as the older kids and RM were going to be gone all day)?  I have been avoiding the windows for months.  They were so covered in kid prints and residue from the winter, I couldn't bring myself to do it.  But I thought, no this is a good way to be outdoors, near the kids.... why not now?  So I braced myself for the challenge and believe it or not, I did every single window on the main floor, inside and out.  Impressive!  They aren't perfect, but they look way better!  It was quite the task!  I took out every screen which is impressive enough as I wasn't even sure if I knew how to do that!  AND I even got all the screens back in!!!  Seriously, this is not a task for the faint of heart!  Now, I LOVE looking outside!  It's all so clean!  At least it was for 5 minutes.  My 3 year old woke up from his nap, went outside, then decided to come back in and while he was waiting for me to open the glass front door, he just had to put his sticky freezie lips into a pucker and kiss the glass.  Sigh.... clean for 5 minutes......

Final note - I love barbecuing.  That has to be the greatest thing about warm weather.  I don't know who told me I couldn't barbeque.  We do have a meat guy in the meat business in the family and I do know I am no expert compared to him.  Not to mention, don't guys just barbeque?  So I never did, my whole life.  Until we built the house.  RM was so busy, if I wanted a barbeque I would have had to wait until 9 pm, so one day, I got up the nerve to learn how to turn it on.  I didn't even know how to do that.  Then I learned to put meat on the grill!  And I learned how to use the tongs!  Sounds funny, but it's all true.  I had no idea how long to cook things, a lot of stuff got burned at first.  Then one day, I read the outside of the burger box and it told me how long to cook each side!  Fascinating.  The box was right!  If I just did what it said, the burgers came out great!

Now, I barbeque all the time.  Yesterday was a first though.  I put two chickens on the grill, whole chickens, that is.  Seared them all over (see how professional I sound now?) and then put them on the upper shelf for an hour and a half on low and voilà!  Perfectly BBQ'd chicken!  One of my kids said, "I don't know how you cooked that chicken, Mom, but could you do it again?  It tasted just like it was cooked in a restaurant!"  It really did, I have to say.  This is why I love BBQ'ing so much.  Everything just tastes better.  I get to stand outside, enjoy the weather.  Oh my goodness.... it is eternal moment, one after another when a BBQ is around.   I'm trying to figure out a way to cook eggs on the BBQ.  I'm sure there is a way....

So, the end of the weekend, start of a shorter week.  The end of school is coming.  Summer is such a blessing from the long cold winter.  I continue to lift up our life to the Lord and even our summer - what plans does He have for us this summer?

Mission Accomplished

We did it.  We finished the pruning of the vineyard and all the tying that is involved.  Absolutely amazing.  We figured it took about 6 weeks for all the pruning and then a few more days to tie all the branches to the wires.  It looks like a professionally done vineyard and it was basically done by my kids!  I wrote this before, but what a testimony to the power of family!  I can't even say for sure what motivated the kids to do it, as I think they were very overwhelmed at first by what was ahead of them.

When we asked them what kept them going, they answered that every time they saw another row done, it got them closer to the end.  Once they saw the end it sight, it became a bit of a battle of them against the vineyard and Spring.  They were determined to win!  What was really neat was going down there on Mother's Day to show the grandparents what the kids had accomplished and to our delight we were greeted with buds on the vines, fully bloomed.  We had made it just in time!  It was a sweet feeling of success.

Now, what to do with the grapes that are coming.... we don't even have a buyer yet!  But the plan is to find a buyer and then it'll be another small income for us which helps to keep the farm status.  At one point, during the whole pruning process, I really thought there was nooooo way that we would be able to do what we were about to embark on.  I have to shout out a huge thank you to the family that came to show us how to do the pruning as well.  I really think if they hadn't come, there was no way we could have done it. 

That's a neat story in itself!  This family lives near us and we Bible Quiz with them.  I knew they lived on a property surrounded by vineyards, but I didn't realize the husband of my friend knew anything about grapes.  Turns out his family pruned grapes when he was younger and he was actually quite the expert.  One day I just casually mentioned the fact that we were going to attempt to take on our little vineyard this year even though we had no idea what we were doing.  My friend quickly said, "Oh!  We could show you what to do!  My husband would love to!"  I actually thought she was exaggerating at the time.  This friend was so determined to help us that she pursued it even when we started to get too busy to do it and were starting to think it wouldn't happen. 

The next thing you know, they show up and literally spent a whole day and then part of another day in our field showing my husband and the older children what to do.  That's right, time out of their busy schedule to help us.  That had to be the greatest example of true friendship.  We were so blessed!  If they hadn't shown us what to do, plant after plant, we would not have been able to accomplish what we did.  Thank you, friends!!!!!

I'm pretty sure we didn't prune to a professional standard by any means, but if nothing else, it showed our children the power of determination and the discipline of making every minute count in the day as they had to get up early in the day to fit in the extra work as well as at the end of the day when they didn't feel like going back out.  It gave them the satisfaction of a job well done.  It showed them the power of friendship as they know we only did this because a family sacrificed their time to help us.  It gave them an appreciation even of nature!  Every morning they were out there all they saw and heard were birds!  Birds they had never known were on our property like orioles.  And the birds were so noisy!  But it was so wonderful to see how busy the birds were, making nests, flying all over the place.  Who needs buds in your ears to listen to music?  I've mentioned the fact that there is literally a condition out there that children suffer from called Nature Deficit Disorder.  Well, this time in the vineyard sure solved that in our children!  It was a great example for our younger children to see how hard their older siblings worked.  It'll be "natural" for them to help as they get older.

I could go on and on.  All I know is that that vineyard provided the most amazing lessons for our family this Spring.  I'm so grateful for that project.  It makes me remember to not shy away from hard work as so much can come out of it, not just financially (though I hope we do benefit in that way, too!), but in life lessons, spiritual lessons, work ethic, discipline, etc., etc..... it was amazing!  I've written this before, too, but if we can do a vineyard, why can't we kill our debt, too?  We can.

Now, all I can think of is what's next?!

Mother's Day on a Budget? Yes.

Mother's Day was awesome this year!  I think even if there were no gifts or cards and only the sun came up, I would be happy.  Having a beautiful day to spend outside was gift enough.  God knew what He was doing by giving all of us a day off to just relax and spend time with those we love.

In the spirit of saving money, we chose to not go to a brunch which we have done in the past.  We do love to go out for lunch, but on Mother's Day the costs go through the roof, especially for a large family.  We went shopping for BBQ food instead and though the weather was potentially rainy, we hoped for the best and the day ended up being absolutely perfect weather-wise.

There is so much pressure to give in to the culture again and spend spend spend on gifts that we really don't need.  Because I love gifts so much, it is always hard for me to not secretly (or not-so-secretly) hope for a bounty on a day like Mother's Day or even my birthday, but those expectations then can ruin my family and their bank accounts.  What has been helping me recently is this debt-reduction plan.  In my mind, I've started treating all the holidays a little bit like our approach to Christmas.  In other words, perhaps a gift, but definitely more on the small side or even nothing.

In the past, I've acknowledged all the holidays and used to buy more than I should have, including Valentine's Day and other holidays such as Easter where you don't typically get gifts, yet the malls make you feel you should be giving them.  I've now tried to make these days still special with making delicious food for breakfast which we need to eat anyway, but no gifts.  What helps me keep this up, as I really want to buy gifts each time, is the idea of forward thinking again with respect to my children and their future homes.  If I give them an appetite for gifts at every single occasion, then they'll think they have to do this as well.

I think my parents did a good job of this, keeping things always moderate, never over-doing it.  Working for a Christian organization for a lot of my childhood meant there was not a lot of extra money left over for extravagance, but we still felt like each holiday was acknowledged even if it was just a small little treat.  That's what I'm trying to do, but if it weren't for this debt plan, I would definitely do overkill.

My husband made me coffee and brought it to me in bed as well as the girls made a delicious breakfast which I also enjoyed in bed.  Gift enough!  Then there were flowers waiting for me downstairs by my oldest daughter followed by a couple notes written by my children sweet enough to make me cry.  My oldest son gave me a "gift card" which said, "I will do one horrible task - anything you want me to do."  Great gift!  I knew what it was right away - CLEAN THE VAN!  He has to do it!  Love it.

My husband sent me on a holiday only days earlier, so he was kind of off the hook, but I still gave him a list of things he has to do for me once he's done his major contract - simple things, that we need anyway - a clothesline, a working vacuum system (our's is broken and I'm using a shop-vac inside!), shelves in the mudroom.....and on and on..... my mother's day will go on and on if he gets those things done (and the list also goes on and on!)

The rest of the days was spent by going to a different church which was a wonderful experience.  The pastor that was speaking that day was a good friend of our's from years ago!  It was so great to hear him speak and to be blessed by him that day.  Then back to the house where we did a quick tidy and then my in-laws came for a wonderful BBQ.  After that we sat outside under the shade of our big tree and just relaxed and talked and laughed. 

I think the best part of the day was when the kids suddenly realized they needed to get me one more gift - a volleyball!  I think that was code for they needed one more gift, but we let them believe it was for me, so off they went, picked up my last gift and came home to play with my gift.  So funny.  It was actually really fun and believe it or not, I did play with them!  Always trying to be the fun mom!

The day ended off with one more BBQ'd meal as it was still so nice out and I love BBQ'ing, so we threw on some meat and I added some vegetables which I also love BBQ'd and the day was nearly over.  We finished it off with a trip to get some ice-cream as a whole family which was the perfect end to Mother's Day.

I love being a mom.  Yes, it is a 24/7 job (and that includes last night, again!) and there are very few breaks, but the rewards are immeasurable.

Every Good and Perfect Gift is From Above

Back from a wonderful trip away.  It doesn't really feel like I was away at all in some ways as life doesn't stop!  But the kids survived and all of them did really well!  I'm so bad at posting pictures, but will try to get a few up later.  My sisters have the best ones on their cameras.  All I know is memories were created, tons of laughs were had and relationships were deepened.  Talk of making this event into an annual trip did come up!  I wish!

I got a phone call from a friend last night that her step-mom had died suddenly of a heart attack in her mid 60s.  It was yet another reminder to me how blessed we as sisters (and sister-in-law) are to have my mom around and to be able to get away together.  We know things can change from one day to the next in any of our lives.

The week before I went away I had heard a talk on enjoying God's gifts to us.  He does long to bless us, but sometimes we reject His blessings as a way of appearing more "religious" or pious.  This trip away was such a blessing to me.  I didn't cook or clean for nearly 5 days.  I had my feet up a lot of the time!  My husband allowed me some spending money which felt like an extravagance.  My parents also were extremely generous all throughout the trip.  Yet guilt, lingered in the background wanting to take away my joy.  I could almost hear the voices in my head, "This costs too much money.  You really shouldn't be here."  I know I could have easily ruined my whole trip if I had kept listening to that voice.  What I ended up doing was focusing on accepting the time away as a blessing from the Lord.  As soon as I did that my mind actually started filling up with worship songs.  One in particular, by the Gettys was in my head almost from the moment I arrived, "My Heart is Filled with Thankfulness".  It was perfect.  It summed up all that I was feeling.  Yes, I didn't deserve this trip.  But it was a gift to me, to all of us, from the Lord.  He had worked all of our schedules out.  He had put it on my parents' hearts to make it happen no matter what.  Each husband, each child, never begrudged us the time away and resolved to not only make it happen, but to help out 100% while we were all gone.  That is no easy task as we left behind 18 children between the 3 of us and 5 husbands who all work full-time! 

None of us have ever done anything like this in our whole lives and it was such a blessing to get away, to be together.  The conversations that were had, the meaningful ones as well as the hilarious ones, were precious.  We also celebrated my mom's 76th birthday while we were away and my older sister's birthday, too - even that was symbolic that we were able to acknowledge years passing and yet be able to be together to celebrate them.  I think it helped our children to understand how key a mom is to the family dynamics (oh perfect!  Just in time for mother's day!).  It helped our husbands appreciate all that we bring to the family.  It made us as wives miss our children so much and realize how much we appreciate our husbands, too. 

All this to say, I'm so grateful to the Lord, to my parents, for this tremendous blessing.  When I got home I knew it was going to be hard, back to cooking and cleaning, but I've definitely been able to do it all with a lighter spring in my step.  It was definitely a "recharge" to my mom batteries!  I think my favourite comment from my children upon returning home was, "It was a lot quieter when you were gone!"  Ha!  I think that's great!  I bring noise and volume to our house!  I also heard, "I didn't realize how much I was going to miss you!"  Yeah!  I'll go away again any day to help my kids realize they need me!

Now I have a kitchen to clean ahead of me, laundry to put away and lots of rooms to tidy, but I can do it, by the grace of God.  Perhaps I'm not on a beach anymore or lying by a pool, but being away helped me realize what a blessing home is.  In my mind now, it is my job to create relationships within our home that will one day be so strong that will long to always be together.  The trip away helped me forward think within my own home.  Wasn't it just a trip to a beach?  Absolutely and I loved that, trust me!!!!  But I also loved that it was about so much more than that.  It was a trip away to celebrate sisters, a new sister-in-law and our mom.... all blessings from above.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!