Keeping it Simple

Every Christmas since 4 years ago, I wonder how we will handle it as a family.  Will we change our original plan of attempting to go "gift-free"?  Or will we go back to what we used to do?  Without even thinking about it, really, we have decided to keep it simple and you won't catch me anywhere near a mall at Christmas. 

It has actually been the easiest decision.  The kids don't even flinch.  One of the youngest boys, however, had just been a little tot when we first made the decision and really didn't know about it or how it came to be.  I had to walk him through the whole thing after we came back from a store a few weeks ago.  We had been in the store and he had been wandering around on his own.  He found the toy aisle and was admiring all the toys.  An employee walked by and said, "Are you going to put that on your Christmas list?"  He started thinking.  I can just imagine the thoughts swirling in his head, "You can do that?  You can make a Christmas list?!  Awesome!"  So he came to me and basically said just that, "I'm putting that toy on my Christmas list!"  "Uh....there's a bit of a problem with that....we don't actually make Christmas lists anymore....sorry!"  He wasn't too pleased.  At first.  But that led me to walk him through the whole story.  He had never heard it!  Once I explained it to him, he was immediately on board.  Once again, I was shocked.  None of the kids have given me grief at all about our decision.  They all understand.  There is no coercion.  Even I am a little surprised!  I always feel like an awful mom until I hear myself describe what a nutbar I used to be at Christmas, how I could never really enjoy the season because I was always stressed about money, budgets, overspending, what to buy, when I would go, who would watch the kids, had I bought enough, should I buy more, what about this child, what about that child, was it even steven?  I could go on and on.....I explained to him, "You need a sane, healthy mommy and this way you get to do all the fun things and your mommy stays happy, too!"

So that's what has happened this year again.  We've done so many fun things, lots of great Christmas-y field trips, art classes, skating, sledding, baking, decorating....all on a fairly low-key budget and on top of it, I'm happy!  In fact, everyone is!  I think that is why we have buy-in.  We don't ignore Christmas.  We love Christmas and fully embrace the joy that this season can bring. The younger girls have been busy making gifts for friends and family as a different activity this year.  I've been busy doing the same.  It's been really fun!

Last night, however, the kids got in the Christmas gift-giving spirit and wanted to do something for their siblings.  How could they do that without shopping?  So the younger 4 suddenly went nuts and ran all over the house looking for little treasures in their rooms that they thought their other siblings would want.  It turned into a gift-wrapping extravaganza.  They wrapped and wrapped all night.  I didn't stop them.  Was it messy?  Yes.  Did they waste meters and meters of tape and wrapping paper?  Yes.  But I have no problem with that kind of mess or that kind of gift-giving.  It was easy to clean up and it was pretty cheap paper to begin with.  To be clear, I am not against giving gifts.  I am against being forced to buy so many for one day only.  My daughter's birthday is this week.  It is easy to buy for one child!  I just can't do the shopping for 8!  So, my tree now has all sorts of little messily-wrapped gifts under it.  They were so excited though that they started opening some of them right away.  Why wait?

My other "family" that we adopted last year, that lived with us on and off, will be over this week.  The mom wanted to exchange gifts, so last year we picked names, and we did buy gifts for their family and vice versa.  I had my kids do all the shopping.  It was again too much for me to think about.  This year, I told her, I didn't want to do that again.  But she loves shopping, loves spending money, loves gifts and giving gifts!  She insisted that we strike a deal.  We settled on stockings only.  I told her there was no way I could fill stockings for 18 people.  She saw my turmoil and said that she would do the stockings if I did the meal.  It probably ended up costing the same anyway, so we agreed and settled on that.  Whew!  Deal!

Of course I've still had to go to dollar stores or drug stores or grocery stores just to pick up regular items here and there.  It is a zoo out there!  I can hardly find a parking spot sometimes.  The line ups are crazy and things I need are inevitably often out of stock.  There is so much to love about this season, but there's definitely a downside.  Thank goodness for the daily reminders in our Bible reading and our weekly reminders at church that this season is not what the world thinks it is about, but instead about how Christ came to redeem us.  We need so much redemption!  And not just at Christmas time, all year!  Every day!  I truly love Christmas and I feel it has been redeemed for me from what it used to be like.  One day our tradition may change, but for now, we are completely at peace at simply being gifts to one another.

Hard Foreheads and Stubborn Hearts

We all know our kids aren't perfect, but whoa....was I ever reminded a couple of days ago.  It seems even though we don't have a video game set or anything like that, our kids will seek out a way to play these annoying games.  We've made it pretty clear we'd rather them spend their time doing something that will be more productive.   Only the two older children have phones at this point and we have a couple of lap tops.   But these laptops all have games on them that just come with the computers.  How handy!  Also, it is very easy to download games onto phones.  Even my 7 year old knows how to do this.  And, quite regularly, my phone or my daughter's phone will mysteriously disappear.  We'll call all the kids who are regular law breakers and sure enough, they have it and were using it for games.

This week was a busy week of having different people over for different events so I was often cleaning, baking or actually visiting.  Sometimes if the kids are out of sight and it's quiet, I won't run around looking for them.  It can be a nice break to have the silence!  Big mistake.  I should have checked in.  Silence may be golden, but around here, it's a clue that something is up.

My 7 year old had been gone too long.  It was too quiet.  I should have known.  But I was enjoying my visit so much with these ladies that were over!  After they left and he was still missing, I finally realized I wasn't being the best parent and called him down.  Surprisingly, he came right away.  Another clue!  I knew there wasn't a computer upstairs and I had my phone, so what was he doing? This is where it almost gets funny, if it weren't so awful.....

Me:  Where were you?

Him:  Upstairs.

Me:  What were you doing?

Him:  Nothing

Me:  Nothing?

Him:  Well, I was actually reading my Bible.   (another clue:  he's not that strong a reader and he doesn't own his own Bible yet)

Me:  (super suspicious now...my other son and I looked at each other, raised our eyebrows at the same time and shook our heads "no" to one another...)  Really?  You were reading your Bible? 

Him:  Yes.  I was just wanting to read more about self-control.

Me:  (I nearly choked at this point).  Self- control?!  Oh!  How interesting!

I was trying so hard not to laugh.  He was handing me line after line that was just so out of character for him.  He was trying to talk like he was Charles Wesley or something.  I quickly texted my husband and told him what my son said.  He said, "Give him the benefit of the doubt."  So I did.  Until I put him to bed....

Me:  So, where is the Bible that you were reading?

Him:  Oh, well, it's here somewhere (as he anxiously looked around his room).  I can't seem to find it.

Me;  (now I knew something was up).  What were you reading then? 

Him:  Oh, this book here (and he randomly pulls a science book off the shelf...NOT a Bible)

Me:  (got 'em!)  Ok, now we know you were lying....

So, he's a liar!  I was so upset!  When I questioned him some more we found out he had found an old phone of my daughters, downloaded a game and was playing happily upstairs the whole time.  I was unaware what my sneaky kid was up to!  When I asked him why he said all those lovely things about reading the Bible (who wouldn't want to hear that?!), he said he knew it would make me happy and that way he wouldn't get in trouble.

We are still trying to figure out the best consequence for this liar liar.  My husband hasn't been home to discuss it much, but we aren't going to let this one slide.  If you can lie, you can do anything.

It was a great opportunity to talk about Jesus though because as my son cried and cried about being caught (he was remorseful at least!), I told him he has to try to be a good boy.  He said, through his tears, "But I can't!  It's so hard!"   I quickly interjected, "Yes!  That's just it!  It is TOO hard!  We can't do it on our own!  That is exactly why Jesus came!"  He prayed, I prayed.  And then I quickly got rid of the phone!

The next day we read about Ezekiel and the stubbornness of Israel.  "But the house of Israel will not be willing to listen to you, for they are not willing to listen to me:  because all the house of Israel have a hard forehead and a stubborn heart." (3:7)

My husband and I are my children's prophets.  We are in authority over our children and it is our job to point them to Christ and help them see their need for Him.  Like the verse says, if they won't listen to us, they won't listen to God.  We have to constantly pray about their hard foreheads and their stubborn hearts!  What a responsibility!

For the next couple of days, I would see my son and he would look at me and say, "Sorry."  I knew what he was sorry for.  I think he was truly repentant.  But, boy oh boy, was it ever a good reminder to keep an eye on him and to not let visiting friends get in the way of watching for my kids. 

Feeling Grateful

I feel like I'm living in a new house.  It is not a new house.  No, no, it is far, far, from being a new house...over 200 years old actually, but to us it is new and remarkably larger though we've done nothing to add space to it. 

It kind of goes back to the original posts from several years ago.  In those early days when we had decided to really buckle down on spending and had even decided to not spend money on the house, God opened my eyes even then to contentment.  He showed me how much I had and that I needed to stop wishing I had more.  That was when, what I called, "The Multiplication Effect" occurred. 

One day I looked at my cramped family room and suddenly I saw the problem.  I quickly got some kids on board, moved around a few pieces of furniture, took a few out and in a blink of an eye, we had a much larger room that could accommodate all of us.  That happened in other rooms of the house, even in the barn!  Nothing had changed in our home, but I can only think God was just waiting for my attitude to change and that was when He opened my eyes to these strange blessings of multiplication in the space of our home.

Now our younger tribe has gotten much older and much bigger.  With 2 adult children and 2 more well on their ways, it was getting cramped.   This time it was my husband's eyes that were opened.  .  A couple of years ago he looked at one of our walls and decided it was time to tear it down and so he did!  We started with one and now, 2 more just this Fall, has seen our house open up to new exponential space.  My 5 year old said recently, "On the outside our house looks really small, but on the INSIDE it's BIG!!!!" 

Add in my new best friend neighbour who gave us two 7 ft. long couches and we have doubled our seating.  Every time someone comes over, I marvel, as now we have two large seating areas that accommodate a lot of people now.  This has always been my dream to have large groups of people in the same area, able to visit and fellowship, all under one roof, in one space. 

It kind of seems to go against the debt-reduction plan to do all of these renovations and several years ago when we first made that decision we had said just that, "No renovations", but then we found our heating costs so high that we found we actually had to do something if we didn't want to go broke paying the heating bills, so that's when we started the ripping out of outside walls just so we could insulate and update the old plaster and lathe.  We are one wall away from insulating the whole family room now.  The new drywall is up and is ready for the mudding and eventual paint. 

But, back to the debt-reduction plan....I like decor.  I try not to!  Decor is expensive!  Back when we lived in town all the stores I loved to shop in were so expensive and they just left me discontent as there was no way I could ever afford to decorate with their price tags.  But then what do you do with what I feel is a God-given desire to make my "nest" a cozy place?  Did I have to leave the walls bare?  Paint wasn't an option at this point.  I was anxious though.....would I have to wait for years for paint?  When would I be able to put things back up on the walls?  I was hosting a number of seasonal events.....I wanted it to at least have the facade of being done.  But then RM gave the green light, "Hang stuff up, we won't be painting for a while....."  Oh yeah!  So I did.  And that's where more mini miracles happened.....

I now had more wall space then I knew what to do with.  Like I said, in the olden days, I would have wished I could have gone to a store and purchased all sorts of rustic decor. then knowing the price tags, sighed, and given up.  Not this time.  I just walked over to my on-site rustic decor "store", i.e., the barn, and started hunting.  I found more window frames that I hadn't seen or used before and quickly dusted them off (I don't even bother sanding, no time for that) and literally threw them on my bare, unpainted freshly drywalled walls.  Then,  I ran outside, cut off some greenery, which up until last year, I hadn't even noticed we had, and threw that around the house.  It was looking good!

One more touch....we had no lighting!  We have looked at beautiful fixtures, but are waiting until everything is complete, so in the meantime, I grabbed all the Christmas lights and a son, and asked him to go around the ceiling edges putting them up.  He did and now we have beautiful white lights around almost the entire perimeter of the family room.  It gives such a nice glow to the house.

Not being particularly crafty, but knowing I had access to vines, I knew I had to do something with them this year or it would be a big waste of craft supplies!  Last year I cut all sorts of vines off the grapes and put them in storage for the winter thinking I would do something with them in the spring. Not smart.  Over the winter they turned to dust.  Each time I picked one up it crumbled in my hands.  This year I knew I had to cut them and immediately make them into something.  So on one of the last warm days of Fall, I went down and cut a whole bunch of vines and turned them into mini Christmas trees.  I absolutely love them and can't even believe I did them myself!  My own kids are in a bit of shock, "You made that?"  All it took was my time.  They're all over the inside of the house and I even threw a couple outside and they make the front porch look so festive.  Why couldn't I see these things before?  Why did I think I had to buy everything?  Why am I suddenly aware that I can do these things when I used to think it was only those people born with the craft skill that could make things themselves?  I can't explain it, except that my eyes were opened again.

The flooring is currently plywood, but that's fine for now.  We're waiting on a steal of a deal.  So here I sit in what seems like our new home.  I can hardly believe how the home has been transformed from what I always called "our dumpy farmhouse" to a new and improved version.  I never knew beautiful ancient beams were hiding under an unattractive drop ceiling.  I never knew there was free rustic decor at my disposal when we first bought this place.  I never knew it would actually be the biggest home we had lived in when all I saw was a tiny, badly-organized floorplan at first viewing.  It's one of those "don't judge a book by it's cover" moments or a badly wrapped gift that seems small and you only want the big gift with the fancy packaging.  Yet, here it was, under all the old coverings lay this gift I could have never imagined when we first bought this place 7 years ago.  It is far from being finished, but I am seeing the tremendous blessing it is to our family and not a single square inch has been added.....it is the Multiplication Effect again.

This is my nest.  Psalm 84:3, "Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young..."  I spend a lot of time in my nest.  I am no different than a bird.  I just want my nest to be cozy and a place where my birdies will be comfortable and happy.  I want them to stay as long as possible and I'll always want them to come back and visit.  I'm convinced this desire has been put in me by God Himself.  He could have made the world unattractive, but He made creation so beautiful that it really defies description.  It is a heavenly desire to long for beautiful things.  Of course, the world has taken this desire and turned it into an idol, but it doesn't have to be if we recognize the source of this desire and keep our sin nature in check.  Just as the mommy bird takes her time in making her nest comfortable so do I.  None of this happened overnight.  It has been a long process and I'm so glad God didn't give me what I wanted when I wanted it.  I don't think I would have appreciated it as much.  A friend came over yesterday and complimented me on the decor.  I was able to say, "The best part?  It was all free!"

A quick reminder this morning that there's work to do.....the water is frozen.....we didn't get the heater in the pumphouse soon enough!  So, it's not perfect, we are a work in progress....but I'm still grateful!!!!

Dogs and Prisons

Today will be a sleepier day as 4 of us got next to no sleep last night.  We had quite the adventure....

Lately, our son has become a little lazy with the dog walking since it's so cold and has been just opening the door and letting the dogs out (we still have one puppy left and she stays inside with us at night).  Each time, we warn our son not to do that.  Instead, we say, put on her leash, she's going to take off!  Ah, the foreshadowing....

Sure enough, last night, he opened the door just before 11 pm and let the Mommy dog and her puppy out.  The puppy came back.  The Mommy did not.  Not good.  I was unaware of this as was my husband.  Then, around midnight, we got a text from my daughter and my son saying, "FYI.  The dog is missing.  We've looked everywhere...."  How was I supposed to sleep after that?

I didn't know if I should wake up RM, but I did anyway because everyone else had given up and gone to bed!  How could they sleep knowing she'd be outside all night!?  We'd never see her again for sure and besides, what if she was hurt?  Being outside all night would have definitely made things worse, especially if we found her in the morning.  I couldn't sleep knowing she wasn't found.

RM was not happy, for so many reasons, but he got up, which I had hoped for.  Meanwhile, I also got up, got my son back out of bed and even my daughter.  We turned on our flashlights and started looking.  Somewhere in the process, my husband got an idea.  The gator.  She LOVES the gator. It's our farm vehicle that we use all over the farm to drive from one end to the other.  Whenever she hears it, it makes her nuts!  She barks and barks like a crazy dog.  He figured if she was still ok, and not hit by a car or stuck somewhere, she'd come running.  Good plan!  But I was still worried.  So my daughter and I went in for a doggie prayer meeting.  If she was gone for good or possibly dead, it meant $10,000 to my son.  He had paid for all his schooling with her puppies and then some.  I prayed that my son wouldn't have to learn a lesson in responsibility the hard way.  I surrendered everything to the Lord knowing He would have to find her.

Within a few minutes of turning on and driving the gator out to the field, we had our dog back.  Alive and well.  She had been having a great old time, just running to the farthest end of our property.  Then I was mad.  Glad she was back, but so mad at her!  However, she was given a warm embrace by all.  The story had a happy ending, my son had learned a valuable lesson and it was only 12:30 a.m.!  I somehow managed to fall back asleep fairly quickly, but morning did come much sooner....

I have learned more lessons from Jeremiah though and I think even this dog story can apply.  Jeremiah had been put in prison in chapter 37 having been falsely accused of lying about "deserting to the Chaldeans".  Verse 15 says, "And the officials were enraged at Jeremiah, and they beat him and imprisoned him in the house of Jonathan the secretary, for it had been made into a prison."  I read that line over and over again, how Jonathan's house "had been made into a prison".  I started thinking about how we can turn something that is good into something that imprisons us.  A house isn't supposed to be a prison. 

Homeschool moms can sometimes feel like they are prisoners in their own houses.  Actually, homeschooled kids can feel that way, too, sometimes.  But what I've learned over the years of homeschooling is that it is all a state of mind.  If you think you are imprisoned, you are.  I have never felt that way, I've loved homeschooling and having all my kids with me in our home all these years.  However, I know I have created other prisons for myself.  Lately, I've felt imprisoned by frustration and, dare I say, anger, at times, when things don't go as planned more days than not with these challenging tots who are still at home with me.  There are no bars of iron around me, but I can still feel them sometimes, which is even harder to deal with when they aren't tangible bars.  For some, it can be being imprisoned by anxiety, or fear, or comparing oneself to another, which I've done many times.  I asked the kids to give me ideas of what they thought could be prisons in our home and they came up with all the same ideas I had.  They got it.  They understood the prison image.

Back to the dog.....today I could be imprisoned with fatigue, grumpiness at not having enough sleep or anger at my son for not being more careful.  I could easily put bars up around my state of mind and choose to be locked there all day.  My prayer is that I will not allow that to happen, but instead that I will choose freedom.  It reminds me of one of my favourite Psalms in the Bible, 107.  Verses 10-16 describe a prison:

"Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons....Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble and he delivered them from their distress...For He shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the BARS OF IRON."

The iron bars can be shattered for me today.  I don't have to be in prison in my own house, in my own mind.  God may not take away my fatigue, but He can give me a new state of mind.

Be a "Son of Jonadab"

I am always looking for ways I can "pep talk" my kids or at least "spur them on to love good deeds".  The book of Jeremiah has become one of my greatest resource.  It has some fascinating passages that I have found so inspiring to use as encouragment for my children. This most recent was was quite unusual as God seems to use the obedience of one family to show the Israelites what obedience looks like.  I say unusual because typically it is considered bad form to compare your kids to other kids to shame them into good behaviour, but this morning, in Jeremiah 35, that's kind of what God did!  I think there is something to learn here.  Maybe it isn't to shame our kids into good behaviour, but maybe it is more to show them the model of good behaviour and then they'll learn by observing others.  I'm getting ahead of myself....this is what happened....

God told Jeremiah, "Go to the house of the Rechabites and speak with them and bring them to the house of the Lord, into one of the chambers, then offer them wine to drink."  So he did what God had told him to.  He called them over and then offered them pitchers full of wine.  "But they answered, 'We will drink no wine, for Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father commanded us, 'You shall not drink wine, neither you  nor your sons for ever.  You shall not build a house, you shall not sow seed, you shall not plant or have a vineyard, but you shall live in tents all your days that you may live many days in the land where you sojourn.'  We have obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father in all that he commanded us to drink no wine all our days, ourselves, our wives, our sons, or our daughters, and not to build houses to dwell in.  We have no vineyard or field or seed, but we have lived in tents and have obeyed and done all that Jonadab our father commanded us."

It may seem that this is a passage about drinking wine, building houses and planting vineyards, but it is not.  As the chapter goes on, God explains why he had Jeremiah call them over and offer them wine.  "Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel:  Go and say to the people of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem.  Will you not receive instruction and listen to my words?  Declares the Lord.  The command that Jonadab the son of Rechab gave to his sons, to drink no wine has been kept, and they drink none to this day for THEY HAVE OBEYED THEIR FATHER'S COMMAND.  I have spoken to you persistently, but you have not listened to me.  I have sent to you all my servants the prophets, sending them persistently, saying "Turn now every one of you from his evil way, and amend your deeds, and do not go after other gods to serve them, and then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to you and your fathers.  But you did not incline your ear or listen to me.  The sons of Jonadab the son of Rechab HAVE KEPT THIS COMMAND, but this people HAS NOT OBEYED ME."

God then pronounces "disaster" upon Judah "because I have spoken to them and they have not listened.  I have called to them and they have not answered."  He adds, however, "But to the house of Rechabites....Because you have obeyed the command of Jonadab your father and kept all his precepts and done all that he commanded you, therefore thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, Jonadab the son of Rechab shall never lack a man to stand before me."

So, it seems, he literally sent a family, who must have been a God-fearing family, simply as an example to Judah.  They showed full obedience to their earthly father and in doing so they were used to model what kind of behaviour God expected from all His people.  Because of their obedience God said to them how they would be blessed in future generations.  Judah, however, would experience disaster for their lack of obedience.

It isn't good to pit one "good" child against another disobedient one, nor is it good to compare one family to another family, but the Bible does show that obedience gets rewarded and there are consequences for those who follow the path of disobedience.  Jeremiah simply does what God tells him to do and the illustration speaks for itself.  The message is clear and the phrases get repeated throughout the chapter, "They have obeyed their father's command", they "have kept this command",, "kept all His precepts".  The others have "not obeyed me", "I have spoken to them and they have not listened.  I have called them and they have not answered".  I'm always looking to the Word of God to help my kids stay on the right path.  This is such a good passage to remind them of modeling our lives after those who obey, after those who listen to God, who don't ignore Him.  Sometimes in our family there are those who listen better and those who obey quicker than others.  I don't think it's a bad thing to point out their good behaviour.  I think it can be a good thing to remind everyone of the good life they can have when they stay on track.

I did end up talking to our kids about this in our morning devotional time.  It struck me in the middle of our discussion that the family of Jonadab hadn't really loved all the rules their parents had given them.  It was quite the list:  no wine, no houses, no vineyards, seeds, sowing, and they had to live in a tent all the time.  I wonder if that list felt restrictive.  I wonder if they weren't particularly happy about the fact all the people around them were allowed to do all the things on the list they weren't allowed to do.  Yet, somehow, their father had their hearts enough that they still obeyed, despite the restrictive list that must have been so hard to follow in that culture of wine drinking, house building, garden planting..... Our children have certain limitations that are different than their own peers.  We know it isn't easy to follow them.  This passage was such a great encouragement for them.  It was a great reminder that blessing always follows obedience.

Newbie Homesteading and a Proclamation of Liberty

It's been another fast week, but full of blessings and "grace in the wilderness".  It started off with a short text from my neighbour.  This woman is like an angel in my life.  Since I've met her, I can't count how many times she's showed up at my door with a fresh coffee in hand (and recently, fresh-baked-out-of-the-oven muffins!).  My kids call her "the nicest mom they've ever met" and love going over to her place.  Turns out, she was doing some redecorating in her home and purchased some new furniture for her family room, displacing the couches she originally had.  Well, guess who she offered her extra couches to?  Yup - us!  Her text simply asked if we wanted them.  Beautiful, leather couches?  Easy decision.  She admitted a couple of cats had gotten to them before they reached our house, but, uh, that's perfect, we said, "Pre-disastered" or "seasoned" as someone else described them.  We can't have new.  Ever.  Not with the amount of animals we have in and around our house.  She didn't even know we had opened up the living room and were in need of more couch-style sitting space.  It was such a blessing.  Thank you, kind neighbour!!!

I have another new friend in my life who has recently become such a blessing to me as well.  She's another capable woman who just seems to know how to do everything.  I had mentioned to her that I had access to goat's milk (for at least a couple more weeks) and wanted to make goat's milk soap.  She said, "I make soap!"  I have one other friend who does this, but she lives so far away I can't access her superpowers from here, so to find someone else who knew how to do it who is local seemed like such a great blessing, too.  We got together last night and made a huge batch of homemade soap.  It was so amazing.  I absolutely loved it and can't wait to do it again.  Another huge blessing to have capable friends that are willing to share their soap superpowers!

These goats that we have will really only be with us for a very short time.  When we first got them I froze their milk, until I ran out of space in my fridge, and then for the remainder of the time we gave the milk to our puppies and kittens.  They loved it!  But I was procrastinating.  I knew I had this resource of milk and I knew there were a million things I could do with it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do all the research and reading.  Why?  What was keeping me from doing it all?  I really tried to analyze it and came up with a million really good excuses, but I think it came down to being paralyzed by the unknown.  Knowing I was running out of time, I did a really quick youtube search and saw it wasn't as hard as I thought.  The first thing I wanted to try, besides soap, was cheese - "chevre" or goat cream cheese.  You need all sorts of fancy starters and I didn't have any of those, but I found a recipe that didn't need starter, just lemon juice and goat's milk.  In a matter of minutes, no joke, I made my first goat cheese and to my amazement, it looked and tasted just like goat cheese!!!  I had done it!  I was so impressed with myself I basically made announcements all around the house, "I MADE GOAT CHEESE!!!"  No one else was as impressed with me as I was, but it made me feel not just like a pioneer, but like a gourmet chef!  Funnily enough, I tried it the next day, too, and it was a flop, so I'm apparently not an expert yet.  But wow, making things that you thought you could only buy in the store is so incredibly satisfying!

I now have all the ingredients to make the official goat cheese, with starter, etc. so hopefully today it will turn out better.  Here's hoping....

So, was I paralyzed by the unknown or was I paralyzed by fear?  Probably a little bit of both.  I read in Jeremiah 34 this week another amazing passage.  It reminded me of how easily I fall victim to my fears. It said, "The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, after King Zedekiah had made a covenant with all the people in Jerusalem to make a PROCLAMATION OF LIBERTY to them, that everyone should set free his Hebrew slaves, male and female, so that no on should enslave a Jew, his brother."

It went on, "And they obeyed, all the officials and all the people who had entered into the covenant that everyone would set free his slave, male or female, so that THEY WOULD NOT BE ENSLAVED AGAIN.  They obeyed and set them free."

Here was the turning point..."BUT AFTERWARD THEY TURNED AROUND AND TOOK BACK the male and female slaves they had set free and brought them into subjection as slaves."

Here is the Lord's response, "But your fathers did not listen to me or incline their ears to me.  YOU RECENTLY REPENTED  and did what was right in my eyes by proclaiming liberty, each to his neighbour , and you made a covenant before me in the house that is called by my name, BUT THEN YOU TURNED AROUND AND PROFANED MY NAME when each of you too back his male and female slaves, whom you had set free according to their desire, and you brought" them into subjection to be your slaves.  Therefore, thus says the Lord:.......I proclaim LIBERTY TO THE SWORD....|

I feel like this passage describing the Israelites is such a picture of what we do in our lives all the time.  There is a "proclamation of liberty" that comes from being in Christ.  We are free from slavery, free from fear, free from sin and we know it and we embrace it, we obey, saying, "We won't be enslave again."  But then, just like the Israelites, "afterward", we "turn around and take back our slavery".  It said, even thought they had "recently repented", it didn't matter.  They still "turned around" and "profaned" God's name.  They just loved their slaves so much!  Am I really any different?  I've identified my fears, the things that keep me enslaved and I repent of my slavery.  I obey and give up my slaves and the things I'm enslaved to, but then, I turn around and take all my fears back, even though I have "recently repented".  God's word to this is scary almost, "You turned around and profaned my name.....I proclaim liberty to the sword."  It's as if He's saying, "You want freedom, but you don't really.  You seem to like your slavery, so if that's what you want, that's what you'll get....freedom to be a slave."  And then He leaves us to our devices and to all the harm that comes from being enslaved.  Yikes, I don't want that.

Reading that passage was a great reminder for me of my silly patterns of behaviour.  I read it with the kids and explained to them how we all are like the Israelites in some way.  My own kids promise every morning that they'll be the best kids ever every day, but then they walk away from our time together, even though they've "recently repented" and they go and hit their brother or sister and disobey the very commands I've just given.  What?!  It doesn't seem possible, but we're all just victims of our bad habits.  So for the rest of the day I went around the house saying, "I am making a PROCLAMATION OF LIBERTY!"  as if I was the town crier!  We are free!  We no longer have to be victims of our bad habits.  We have freedom!  The alternative is proclamation of liberty to the sword!  I don't think so.  Not interested in that kind of proclamation.  We prayed again for God's help in our family, in all areas, to all members of our home.....may we not turn around and forget our freedom, our liberty.  We are no longer slaves.

Junior Quizzing and "New" Homeschool Mom Devo

I think it is official....Junior Bible Quizzing was a huge success!  I wasn't sure how it was going to go...would others be interested?  would there even be any teams besides my kids?  would the kids be able to handle the amount of material?

The first quiz meet was going to be the big test and I can say with a resounding yes, it was AMAZING!!!  If anyone else could have seen it, they would have been blown out of the water.  These kids were all so little, so timid...it seemed impossible to think that they could hold so much in their little heads, but did they ever.

Four chapters, not 4 verses, of 1 Corinthians were memorized and by memorized, I mean MEMORIZED!  These kids knew the verses backwards and forwards.  The comment I got all day long was, "Have you seen these kids jump?"  In order to get picked to say your verse, you have to jump off your seat and be the first one to set off the sensor.  The senior quizzers can jump on the first syllables of a question and get them right...I don't know how....In the first quiz, we noticed the little guys were also jumping just like the seniors!  It was amazing to watch. They certainly had a spirit of competition and it was clear that they knew their stuff and so did everyone else!  I'm proud to say one of our teams was top quiz team of the new junior teams, but it was very close....it'll be hard to stay on top.  So far we have 6 junior teams, but there are more to come, I'm sure.

That was a huge answer to prayer for me.  As I said before, I just didn't know if it would take off, but it certainly has.  It was super inspiring and it makes me so happy to know that a generation of quizzers are moving up.  It was also really neat to see graduated quizzers there now helping with the younger ones.  My older son, who has now graduated and moved on, said the other day, "Bible quizzing was the best thing we ever did!"

The joke by the end of the day was, "We've got to start toddler quizzing!"  We'll see......!!

I have a new responsibility that I've taken on with our homeschool group.  I'll be writing a weekly (or however often I can do it) devotional that goes out to the whole group.  This will be easy for me because I'm just writing what is already on the blog just making it work for the whole group, making small adjustments here and there.  This came up because I was sharing with the other board members that I've entered into this extremely challenging season where there is more going on than I can handle sometimes.  As I told them how overwhelmed I feel at times, they all just looked at me with this "Join-the-club look", not out of indifference, but out of a sense of understanding....i.e....we're all there.  That's when it occurred to us, maybe there are other moms in our group that are suffering or going through a challenging time.  How could we encourage them without seeing them every single day?  One of them asked if anyone could write a quick devotional that could go out to all the members.  I didn't immediately say yes, but when I got home and thought about it, I was suddenly inspired and easily woke up the next day and started writing.....I had words coming into my head faster than I could get them on paper (or on the screen!).  I will enjoy this role....

This is an example of what I'll be sharing with them this week...

One of my greatest challenges, and has been from birth basically, is one of my younger boys, who shall remain nameless, but is super cute, blond and 7.  Love him to death.  So much life, energy, spunk, but with that comes stubbornness, frustration, and a battle of the wills.  I often wonder is there any hope for him?  Have I done something wrong?  Will I ever see the fruit I long to see?  I think I could handle him if I didn't already have so much going on.  How am I supposed to spend the time with him that he needs when I can barely get dinner on the table let alone the groceries in the fridge?! It can keep me up at night...

One morning last week, I came to my Bible really begging God for a word from Him.  I needed a supernatural encouragement and I truly came expecting to hear.  I've read that we are to do that all the time, but this particular morning I just couldn't wait to see what I would read.  I nearly fell off my chair when I opened my Bible to Jeremiah 31.  I wouldn't have expected that to be a book about parenting, but wow....that morning it was.

I began to read.  Verse 2 said, "The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness."  I had to stop there and read it over and over.  Grace in the wilderness.  Isn't that the most amazing phrase?  Those crazy Israelites were taken from the most difficult of situations where they were slaves in Egypt and it seemed like they were saved, only to find themselves in a new difficult situation, stuck in the wilderness.

That seems to be my life from moment to moment.  I handle one hard situation with one child (aka cute blond boy) only to turn and find myself in another difficult situation with another child (often another cute blond boy - or girl!)  From sword to wilderness!  Or I get through one challenging season with one age group, only to find myself in a new challenging season with the next age group!  AHHHHHHH!!!!  The wilderness is a difficult place!!!!  But, when I read that verse and read that expression.....grace in the wilderness, I had to stop.  I do have grace in my wilderness, all the time.  Just like the Israelites had their manna, I have mine.  Simple things like coffee in the morning...that's grace!  Or running water!  (I always think of the pioneer women before me who had NONE of the conveniences I have...how can I possibly complain?!)  I have good health and so does my family.  A roof over our head.  A loving husband who is providing for our family.  I have the freedom to homeschool and worship.  My list went on and on as I thought about it.  I prayed that morning that my eyes would be open to even more "graces" as I went through my day.

It didn't stop there.  Verse 11 said, "For the Lord has ransomed Jacob and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him."  That's it!  My job as a homeschool mom is "too strong" for me.  My son is literally "too strong" for me (he works out at 7 years old, no joke).  In other words, "It's too hard!"  But that's perfect....that's where God has to step in.  If I could do it on my own, then I wouldn't need God.  I clearly DO need God.  Just like I can't save myself from my sin, I can't redeem myself, I also can't homeschool, or do anything, myself.  I must be saved from my sin, which is "too strong for me" and from my homeschool, which is "too strong for me" ONLY by the Lord who has redeemed me and ransomed me from the hands that are "too strong for me".  I was starting to feel a little more hopeful.

Then, verse 16 was the big kicker, "Thus says the Lord:  'Keep your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your work.'"  What homeschool mom hasn't found herself in a pool of tears on those really hard days?  Back to my cute, but spirited 7 year old....he can push my buttons like no one else.  I really have to keep it together when he's in his all-out "bad" moments.  After I read that verse, something changed for me, and I found myself saying the verse in my head over and over throughout that day, "there is a reward for your work, there is a reward for your work, there is a reward for your work...."  So instead of panicking and feeling hopeless about him, I took it as a direct word from God for me that day, to keep on keeping on with him.  There were times throughout that day (and every day for that matter!) when I would feel frustrated or angry or discouraged, but then the thought would pop into my head again, "Don't cry, don't worry...there is a reward for your work...."  Knowing these were words directly from God helped keep the negative feelings at bay and instead filled me with a supernatural patience that day and even helped me come up with new and creative ways to handle the typically difficult situations I have when it comes to him.  When he wouldn't read (he never wants to read) I didn't force him, instead an idea came to me, "Ok, you read one sentence, I'll read another...." and sure enough, he kept reading...no issues!  When he wouldn't do his math ("too hard!" he always says), I said the same thing, "You do one problem, I'll do another...." just to show him it can be done.  Suddenly his math was done, his reading was done, we were both calm, no tears (from either of us!)

The takeaway?  Get into God's Word, every day.  What if I hadn't read Jeremiah that day?  What would my day have been like?  How would I have gotten through those tough, tearful moments?  I'm not sure I would have and I'm quite certain it wouldn't have gone so well.  And the neat thing for me, that I'll share with my kids today, particularly the ones who still get tearful and downright weepy when it comes to school sometimes, they, too, need to know that "there is a reward for their work", too!  All the hard, difficult, challenging lessons are all for a purpose!  They can't possibly see it now, but they will one day when they're out providing for their families or at home taking care of young children.  They'll see it eventually!

So, there is hope, and there's always a new day, a new week....I just have to make sure I start my day on the right track, in God's Word, which He has written just for me, a homeschool mom, with really cute, but stubborn, kids.

I'm No Different than My 11 Year Old

This comment had me howling last night.

11 year old:  Mom, can I get an ipod shuffle?  (he went on to describe a new device out there I don't                         even know about.

Me:  Uh, no.

11 year old:  What?!  We NEVER get anything new.....except toothbrushes!!!

I laughed and laughed.  I felt like a perfectly successful parent.  When I told my other older kids what he had said, they laughed, too, and one of them added, "We don't even get new toothbrushes!  We just boil them when they get too old!"  True enough!  My poor deprived kids...I actually really liked that comment.  If they only get new toothbrushes, and maybe even then just once in awhile, then I think we've worked out the sense of entitlement.  And, by the way, he's totally lying....they get new stuff all the time....they just have a very short memory.

It's a great tie-in to the verse we studied in church a couple of weeks ago, Romans 8:32, "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"  God will give us ALL things.  The pastor went on to describe all things does not mean all that we want, but all that we need.  He challenged us to look at all the things we THINK we need and then see if we have them.  If we don't have them that God does not think that we need them.  So, for my poor son...he thinks that he needs the newest device and went on and on about the nice parents that give them to their kids.  We said no.  So I told him, he doesn't need it.  He can want it, but I know he doesn't need it.  Just like our good Father keeps things from me, I keep things from my son, at least in this case, for now.  Maybe when he's older or maybe when he can buy it himself, but not now.

In my own situation here at home, I joke with people that I just found out that I have a large family.  When they were all younger we pretty much did all the same things together, had the same taste in music, movies, food, activities. We went everywhere together and almost had all the same struggles. Now, my life has changed so much in the last year, I hardly know how to handle it!  The older four are living almost entirely different lives than the younger 4.  They have their own interests, their own struggles, their own everything.  I need a separate mom to take care of them.  And, I wonder if it is because of this, where half my mind is on them all the time, that I'm finding it a challenge to accomplish all that I want to with the younger 4!  I need a separate teacher to teach them!  The only thing that is getting me through this is that verse.  ...will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?"  Well, I think I need a cleaning lady, another teacher, a guidance counsellor, a lawyer, a judge (to deal with all the conflict with the tots), a live-in dentist (do you know how many trips I have to make to the dentist?!), a live-in doctor....oh, and I'm a vet part-time now, too.  I sometimes just sit in my house and wonder where the nearest spa is!  For all of us!  Just to get some tranquillity!!! There is so much activity, so much noise, so much going on, half the time there are anywhere from 5-10 animals in the room, chasing themselves around....it would make anyone's head spin just to sit in on it for an hour.....YET....All those things that I think I need, I don't.  Because God gives us what we need, not what we want!  Therefore, He's telling me, I can do it somehow, I can make it somehow.  It's forcing me to be on my knees in a constant state of prayer, unceasing prayer, all day, because that's what God knows I need.  He's using my situation, which may feel like it is permanent, but I know it isn't, to teach me all the character traits He thinks I need....again, not what I want, but He knows what I need way better than I do. 

Am I any different than my 11 year old son?  Nope.  I want an ipod shuffle, just in mommy form, but God is saying no.  He wants me to be ok without all the things I want.  The verse has shown me that is ok and is actually a good thing because He is my heavenly Father and He is parenting me better than I could ever parent myself.

There's Another Car in the Driveway!

Now there are officially 3 cars in the driveway.  I can't believe it.  My oldest daughter just bought her first car.  I'm impressed.  I never was able to do that, though I had jobs from the time I was 11 on.  I never saw a need (I used my parents' car all the time!).  She, however, definitely needed one as she is out and about working up to 5 jobs some weeks.  We've made it work and she usually takes my car as I'm often home, but other weeks it has been a struggle as I will need the car which means those weeks I'm in the car all the time. 

I knew this was coming eventually though and so I really tried to treasure those times when she still needed us to pick her up.  I knew there would be fewer times of conversations, fewer moments with just her alone in the car.  This is another sign of independence and though we are thrilled for her, there is a part of us that is sad.  Our other kids are super excited and they kind of feel they got a new car, too!  She is the super fun (super bad) sister who takes them out pretty much all the time wherever and whenever they want to go.  This is a small child victory for them.  I can already picture how this will go...

What a great example she was to the other kids.  It wasn't like that just under a year ago, however.  Back in March last year, we sat her down and said, "Enough is enough..."  She was spending money like crazy and had nothing to show for it.  Yes, she was paying for her piano lessons and we were grateful for that, but the rest of her money was never being saved.  Here I was writing about debt and my daughter was not being the greatest example.  So we wrote up a contract that she and my husband literally signed and told her that if she could save a certain amount of money by the following March 2018, we would contribute to what she had saved and help her buy a car.

Something must have clicked in her brain.  First she worked at a greenhouse in the summer and then later on that summer she found a job at a restaurant hostessing.  She didn't just take on one or two shifts, but sometimes 7 a week.  In addition to this she somehow maintained her piano school (in her final associate level), her piano students, photography shoots here and there, teaching at a co-op and just being a great daughter here at home helping me out when she could.  We barely saw her once she got that job this past summer.  But she was determined and she almost had to save she was making so much money she couldn't spend it fast enough!

Pretty soon she had enough and started to search.  I feel like God really blessed her because she basically was able to buy the first one she saw and the whole deal went down extremely smoothly. I'm super proud of her!

The last couple of Sundays we've been doing a family Bible study in the evenings.  We're kind of like our own small group.  Love it.  We decided to pick up a book we had in our house but hadn't ever gone through as a family on Biblical finances.  We talk about it all the time, but now we're reading the actual verses we talk about and then studying and applying it to each child.  Our daughter was a great illustration to the rest of the family of what can be done when you set your mind to it.  She also bought the car debt-free so she's off to a great start.  She'll be able to drive it knowing it is fully paid for.  What a great feeling!

The fun part starts today....she bought a standard! 

Boots, Pups, and Friends

I've pretty much stopped shopping for myself.  Only occasionally do I have to run out to get something that has literally worn out, like a pair of flip flops....they never make it more than a season.  I will also be in a thrift shop once in awhile and see a shirt for $4....I think we can manage that.  It's just one of those ways that I try to be creative almost every day with the clothes that I have.  I can hardly justify what the malls ask me to pay, so I don't think I've spent money in a mall in possibly years. 

But, I do love to look nice and I do love the trendy styles, so what then?  Fortunately, I have a God who cares even about what I wear.  Last year I bought myself a pair of boots that were nice and functional.  I paid $15 and they were virtually brand new at a thrift store.  I couldn't believe the deal I got.  I wear them all the time.  I knew I wouldn't "need" anymore this year.  But I did see all the cute styles coming out!  I admired them from afar.

Then, this week, I was out with the younger kids at a pumpkin patch field trip and one of the moms I've gotten to know came up to me and asked what shoe size I was...Then she proceeded to ask me if I wanted a pair of boots her mom had passed on to her that were way to small for her.  That was a bit risky, but I said I would look at them.  It turns out they were the cutest little things, brand new, my size and I could have them, for free, it I wanted them!  Sure! I said.  I shook my head the whole way home.  Boots from heaven, given to me at a pumpkin patch.  Talk about the least expected time and place.  I was grateful.

My sister is my other main source of "new" things!  She often passes on clothes to us that she doesn't wear anymore and that could possibly fit me or my oldest.  I end up with a lot of them!  Fortunately she lives far enough away that her friends don't live near me and wonder if we have all the same clothes!  That is a way easier way of shopping when the clothes come right to you!  Because I'm home most of the time, it really doesn't matter what I'm wearing.  I have more than enough to keep some variety in my daily choices and once in awhile it gets shaken up by a delivery or two.  If I were out working, maybe things would have to be different, but right now, this way of clothes shopping suits me fine.

We're almost at the end of the week of renos.  We didn't get as far as we hoped because we decided to level the floor.  That took all week.  It was 3 inches lower on one side of the room.  So it was quite obvious and to put new flooring on that would have been ridiculous.  Today the plywood will go down and then we'll start on the other side of the room, ripping out the floor.  I have to say, renovations that don't make an obvious aesthetic difference drive me crazy.  They have to be done, but no one will ever walk in and say how lovely and level my floor is!  However, I know the value of it, so I'm good with it, just wish I had more to show for all the time and effort!  It was so great having RM around all week.  I will miss having him back at work.  We enjoyed coffee again together every morning and the extended conversations.

We also praise God because it seems all the puppies are sold!  We do have one left, but she might be the one we keep to breed.  Haven't decided.  My son's year is paid for now and we marvel because he hardly was able to work all summer as he was doing school.  But, we're quick to explain to him that even though it seems like "free" money whenever someone comes to pay for a pup, it wasn't free money.  We reminded him of all the driving we/I did to the breeder's, multiple times, far away.  We remind him of all the puppy food, vet bills, vet trips, gas, time, etc.  We remind him of all the care the puppies got in those early days that were on all of us when he was at school.  No, it wasn't free money.  He (and all of us) worked for it.  But, all in all, it was a great experience and we will do it again, Lord willing, next spring.

Last thing.  I've been praying for my kids more than ever, but to make sure I give each child focused prayer, I do the Susanna Wesley thing, where I focus on one child at a time.  She would cover up her face with a tea towel and pray for an hour.  I don't quite do that!  But, I will assign one day a week to focused prayer for each child, doubling up on some days as I have 8 kids and only 7 days in a week! Yesterday, I was specifically praying for my 2nd daughter, 4th child.  She has been down and out all week as she's been a bit sick with a flu virus and she also misses her friends, the ones who lived with us on and off all year.  Now they're settled in school so we don't see them as much.  I've been praying for friends for her or for something in her life to give her new purpose and direction.  She's got a very special friendship with our 3rd born, her brother.  They hang out all day together, doing school upstairs.  They go everywhere together which is nice for both of them as once my son went off to university he left behind his close friend/brother who also is lonely.  Though they aren't the friends I thought, I feel God answered my prayers by making these brother/sister siblings left behind more close.  However, I still prayed for other friends, too.

Yesterday, I went to our homeschool meeting and I met two different women that I hardly knew and both of them approached me and wanted to connect.  It turns out they both have daughters my age.  One invited our family for lunch so that we could connect and the other one I will probably see next week at another event.  I marvelled at how God was so specifically answering my prayers for her.  It encouraged me to keep doing what I'm doing.

Breaking Down the Lies with God's Hammer

Such a beautiful weekend!  I'm fairly certain the weather can't be this nice much longer.  I'm so glad we were able to get a few things done while the weather cooperated.  Still in the demo stage on the main floor and then at the same time trying to get new windows in the upstairs as they are original to the house.  As beautiful as they are, I can actually feel winter breezes over my nose at night.  They are terrible for keeping weather out.  So one window got in.  Four to go.  We managed to find them for almost half the price going over the border and, of course, my husband is installing them, so that makes it a lot more reasonable, too.

This week, I realized I have high expectations for what is going to get done in just a few days remaining, so last night I told my husband that whatever he gets done will be great, no pressure, as otherwise I will find myself super disappointed if my expectations don't get met.

We will still do school this week, but it might just take on a slightly different feel, perhaps more carpentry school?

We also managed to get the cow fence fixed.  That was a huge relief for me as I don't think I realized how much it was getting to me.  I was constantly looking outside to see if a cow was out and it was giving me what I jokingly call, "Post Traumatic Cow Disorder" or PTCD as it is more commonly known!  Sadly, it took away the renovating time, but it had to be done and as of Saturday night, it is back up to 10,000 volts and oddly, no cows were out the rest of the weekend!

Church has become an entirely different experience for us now.  All our children have sat in the service with us for 10 years now and it has always been a bit of a struggle with babies and toddlers, but we've somehow persevered, never exactly knowing when the children make the transition to wiggly toddler to sitting child, but they've all done it and now they all sit in a row quietly through an hour and a half service.  What a different experience it has become for me where I can actually listen to a sermon without taking a child out!  My 7 year old now "takes notes" where each week he writes down what is on the screen.  He's so proud of himself!  The 5 year old copies letters on the paper itself and that is his way of taking notes.  I know some wonder what they are getting out of it, but each week the pastor seems to look right at us and the kids notice that and repeat back to me what they've heard in the service, so I think they know more than we think.  I really prefer sitting with them and in fact love sitting with them.  I sat with my parents when I was a kid and I remember that really fondly. 

The service on Sunday was a good reminder of God's guiding love.   The pastor was saying how so many claim to not know the will of God, but they don't read the Bible, so how can they know His will?  Instead we go to experts or others, but not to God's Word.  I was reading in Jeremiah last week and it confirmed what the pastor was saying.  There are many out there who claim to come in God's name, but in fact they are not Biblically sound.  They are described this way, "Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you, filling you with vain hopes.  The speak visions of their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord...Behold, I am against the prophets, declares the Lord.  Behold, I am against those who prophesy lying dreams, declares the Lord, and who tell them and lead my people astray by their lies and their recklessness, when I did not send them or charge them.  So they do not profit this people at all, declares the Lord.'

I was thinking about that.  Sometimes I am the lying prophet....to myself!  Sometimes a lie will enter my own mind, created by the enemy himself, to get me off track, to make me feel badly about myself. I see it in my kids literally all the time.  They will be in the middle of school and my 5 year will say, "I'm too stupid to do this."  Do not listen to the lying prophets!  My son in university will say, "Maybe I can't handle this, Mom.  Maybe I don't have the ability to do this."  Jeremiah goes on and says, "When one of this people, or a prophet or a priest ask you,'What is the burden of the Lord'? you shall say to them, 'You are the burden, and I cast you off, declares the Lord...But the 'burden of the Lord' you shall mention no more, for the burden is every man's own word, and you pervert the words of the living God, the Lord of hosts, our God."  Somehow, the enemy of our souls can use our own words, our own voices, in our own heads to pervert the words of the living God.  I love how he says, "What is the burden of the Lord?  YOU are the burden of the Lord."  WE somehow become our own worst enemy because we don't meditate on what we know is true from Scripture, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that we have the mind of Christ.  Instead we listen to the the lying prophets.  Because nowadays there aren't a lot of prophets walking around, Satan had to come up with different ways to lead us astray.  I'm convinced he uses me to beat myself up!

Fortunately, as always, there is hope.  "Am I a God at hand, declares the Lord, and not a God far away?  Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord.  Do I not fill heaven and earth?...Is not my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?  (Jeremiah 23)  So thankfully, we can break the lies with our hammer, the Word of God.  I'm always asking myself and the kids, "What is the lie you are listening to?"  Then, we go from there, breaking the lie down with God's Truth.

Renovating, Hiking and Spiritual Blessings

We are now in full strike mode at school.  Ironically, one of the things the union dislikes is all the contract workers (aka my husband) and part-timers (my husband).  They want more job security (as always) and more full-time work.  However, if we hadn't had the contract work and part-time work offered to us, we wouldn't have had a job.  Though the union didn't like that, in our case, it worked out!  We were grateful for it.

Wanting to take advantage of an unfortunate situation, we decided this was a bit of a free gift of time.  I didn't want to push my husband too much as he has lots of things he could do, but I made some subtle and not-so-subtle hints as to how he could spend his time, such as, "How 'bout we blow out that wall?"  or "Wanna finish this room or that room?"  He seemed interested.....Though he's on strike with teaching, his research job is still up and running, but it's just really quiet on campus, so he's there all day, but now he's home at night. 

Last weekend, when he came home, I suggested it one more time, "Wanna break down a wall?"  I kind of remember a raised eyebrow, which made me think, guess I'm pushing too hard....but a few minutes later, he walked in with a sledgehammer.  I LOVE sledgehammers.  Some of the kids were on the couch, not paying any attention to what was about to happen.  Suddenly, "WHAM!"  The demolition had begun.  I cannot tell you how happy that made me!  We were on our way into being well over our heads...again...as we took down the other walls of our family room.  By walls, I mean, all the old drywall, insulation, etc.  We did take some other minor walls out to make better entryways into the family room, though.  It makes it look so much more open!  By the end of the weekend, my husband's muscles were killing him and the mess was nearly complete.  This picture is what it looked like that first day.....The white wall on the left is now gone and it will be our new entry into the family room.  Where my husband is standing will ultimately be our dining room as the kitchen is quite squished with all of us in there around a table.

I think people think I'm joking when I ask for renovations for my birthday, but I'm not joking!  This was the greatest gift to me!  And, as an added bonus, he's taking all of next week off, seeing as he doesn't have his teaching job anyway, and he'll just go at the house for a solid week.  I haven't had him around like that now for over a year.  That is gift enough just to have him around 24/7 for a few days.  Depending on how far he gets, he might even move into the kitchen where we have to do some more insulating.  If that happens, I think I'll lose my mind with excitement!

On the thanksgiving note again, the younger 4 kids and I went out on a hike yesterday.  I googled, "Hikes nearby" and this new hike came up that we'd never been to that was only 10 minutes away.  But before we left, I had to do a quick search for my wallet.  I knew I'd had it the day before on the way to the library, but I couldn't remember where I'd put it.  The thought occurred to me that maybe it had fallen off my lap when I'd gotten out of the car that day, but I hadn't noticed it, so it seemed unlikely.  I was clearly feeling frazzled and must have showed it.  My five year old suddenly says, "Be thankful Mom!"  "What?"  I said shocked.  One of the other kids said, "He's telling you to be thankful because that's what you tell us!"  "Oh!  Yes!  Right!  Sorry!  You're right!"  So I told them that I would do that.  I quickly prayed, "Lord, thank you that for some reason I've misplaced my wallet.  Please help me to find it and thank you for the kids reminding me to be thankful."  Then, I quickly called the library and lo and behold, they had it.  I must have dropped it like I thought in the parking lot.  "They have it!"  I exclaimed to the kids.  "Wow!  That was fast!" they all said.  Such a great reminder from the mouths of babes. 

After I picked up my wallet, the thought also occurred to me to check the oil as our car had been leaking oil and I didn't want to find myself in a bad situation.  Sure enough, right out.  I immediately felt frustrated at my older daughter as she is the one driving it all the time and she is the one that is supposed to do all the checking and filling.  My kids said it again.  "Be thankful!"  I sighed.  Yes, yes.  Be thankful.  So again, I said to them, "You're right.  This could have been more serious.  At least we remembered to check it before it was too late.  We remembered when we were close to a gas station."  So many reasons to be thankful. 

Finally, we were off on our hike.  We ended up in this somewhat secret location.  There were no big signs, no real markings that we were at the right place, except for a very subtle sign you could have easily missed.  I thought maybe we were at someone's place even.  We kept walking towards the escarpment and found a trail that went up.  My kids were in awe.  It was so beautiful.  How did we not know about this place?  Within minutes, we found a brown snake, then salamanders everywhere, coloured leaves, moss, ferns, chipmunks.  It was all so beautiful to take in.  Then, we saw the view of vineyards and the lake from the height we were at.  Incredible.  We just kept stopping in amazement.

Then, we came across a young lady and her mom hiking also.  She seemed to enjoy watching our kids and commented that it reminded her of when she used to look for snakes with her brother, too. We ran into them again on our way back down from the hike.  She called us over and said, "Want to see a cave?"  She took the older 3 kids right to the edge of the escarpment and showed them a secret cave only someone who knew the trail really well would know.  My kids loved it!  I hated it because it was so close to the edge, but just held my breath till they came back.  Then, she took us down the trail and said, "I'll show you an ancient carving that no one knows about, too!"  Who was she?  An angelic tour guide?  Sure enough, she took us to this rock where an old carving was in the rock of a native face with his feather headdress.  It was incredible and again, only someone who knew the trail could have seen that.  It was clearly authentic and I felt like I was back in history which was really neat because we were just studying that in Canadian history in our homeschool.  Turns out, she really did know the trail.  Basically it was her backyard when she grew up.  She returned as an adult just for nostalgia that day as she was home from across the country to visit her mom.  Maybe this is a bit of a stretch, but I think it was all part of the miracle of being thankful that we met her.  Had I not stopped and found my wallet, then stopped and filled the car with oil, all the while being reminded that I should be thankful by my kids, we would have missed meeting her and having the most amazing history lesson!  I felt like God really did give us an angelic tour guide that day.  She was the only other person on the trail, with her mom (other than another lady who was lost!), besides us.  It made the hike just that much more special.

It also tied in with a book on prayer we're going through by Peter Dyneka, a Russian missionary, called Much Prayer Much Power.  We've tried to kick it up a notch lately, by not just focusing on ourselves as we like to do.  Instead I've reinstated the prayer boxes where we pray for specific things each day.  So, for example, today will be International Needs.  We have switched to prayer jars (as all my boxes got broken!).  In each jar is a card with an international need, such a North Korea, the international leaders, like Trump and Trudeau, or all the disasters going on around the world.  It is helping our kids realize there are other things to pray for outside our family.  One of the things Dyneka said yesterday though was that as we pray for others, we get blessed.  I've been asking God to show this to my kids.  Yesterday felt like such a huge blessing to them.  I can't help but think it is all related in the spiritual realm.....praying for others, going through trials, learning thankfulness, seeing miracles, major and minor ones, being blessed in the process.....Even if for some reason it's one giant coincidence that all those things happened, it sure made for just one awesome day. 

I prefer to have spiritual eyes, where I make connections between trials, prayers, and blessing.  Living in the world of "coincidence" takes away all the joy.

Thankful for Thanksgiving Lessons in Thanksgiving Week

I've known the pattern of being thankful and then watching the miracles unfold and I was quite certain I had communicated this to my kids and my husband of course, but maybe it just hadn't sunk in.  I had read the verses for years before it really hit me, too.  I guess we needed another reminder.  What a better time to relearn the lesson than Thanksgiving Week.

Lately, we've noticed a certain level of spiritual attack in our home.  We're quite certain it's because we've started the Bible Quizzing and we also know Satan just loves bugging Christian families.  He wants to ruin relationships between siblings, parents and spouses.  Anytime he can get more bang for his buck, he tries.  But I'm on to him....

My son seems to be at the center of it all lately.  If he frustrates me, then my husband is frustrated.  If he frustrates my husband, then I'm frustrated.  If he can get my son mad at my husband, then......you get the picture.  Terrible cycle. 

The cute, innocent puppies are also at the center of it all!  It started when I had to take all 6 remaining puppies to the vet.  My favourite line, "I don't get paid enough....." We had a short timeline and I had already been driving all morning.  I had to go all the way into the university to pick up my son and then another ways to the vet clinic.  In total about 45 minutes of driving.  When we had to go, we couldn't find the  keys.  I'm convinced Satan uses blindness in our home all the time.  Keys go missing REGULARLY.  We searched the entire house.  As I found my frustration levels go up (my 7 year old had taken them somewhere to play with them - couldn't remember where he'd put them.....why??????), I spoke to the voice in my head that was starting to tell me lies and I said, "There is a reason why this is happening.  Be thankful.  Be thankful that you are going to have to cancel the appointment.  Be thankful that you'll have to reschedule.  Be thankful that they are hidden.  Be thankful.  Be thankful.  Breathe....."  Ok, I calmed down and I actually stopped looking.  What was the big deal anyway?  So what if I had to cancel the appointment?  It would be ok.  Leaving the frantic feeling behind was the big part of the miracle because when the panic enters the home, no one is happy.

Minutes later, my son walks in with the keys in his hand!  He found them outside!  I never in a million years would have found them where we did, but I'm certain thankfulness opened my son's eyes and made him look in the strange location he found them.  I quickly got in touch with the clinic and they were good to wait for us.  Off we went.  The puppies did throw up the entire way there, but the other neat miracle was that the vet techs willingly, almost gladly, came out and cleaned the mess up for me in the back of my car.  I was amazed and so grateful.  Thankfulness turned the day around.

Later on that week, my son was writing a midterm at school.  He had studied and studied for it.  He was quite nervous and I always get nervous for him, too, but have learned to commit him to the Lord. Suddenly, right before the test, I start getting nervous texts and calls.  He couldn't find his wallet!  There it goes again....the blindness factor.  Satan's tool.  He was calling to ask us to look.  He needed it for his test as they require i.d. in order to write it!  ARGH!!!  This immediately frustrated my husband as he wished my son had thought of that a little sooner!  Once again, we searched the house all over.  Nothing.  I heard the voice in my head, so I called my son and said, "Be thankful.  For some reason Satan is blinding all of us to the lost wallet.  Stay calm.  Go look for your professor, anyone that you can talk to and see what you can do."  My husband looked at me like I was nuts, "Be thankful?"  He actually agreed and told my son, too, "This is some kind of spiritual attack on you right before your test.  Stay calm."  The frantic searching stopped and calm came over all of us.  We left it with the Lord and trusted his test would go fine.

It did.  He didn't need his i.d. after all.  He ran into his professor right before the test (who he never sees) and he explained the situation to him.  The professor said not to worry because he knew him.  He has 500 students in his class and he knew him?  My son sits right at the front and talks to him apparently, so I was so glad for that.  I couldn't figure out why we hadn't found the wallet, but I didn't worry about that either.  The next day, when he was home, he went up to his room and found it in two seconds.  It was hidden in a dark part of his shelf that no one had noticed.  More blindness?

We were feeling pretty good, though weary from all the attacks.  We had made it through the whole week and though we hadn't been perfect at them, I felt like we were passing test after test.  Is there ever a break?  Turns out, no.

On the Saturday morning, we were selling another puppy to a young 12 year old girl.  My son had been in touch with her and her parents.  All was going well, but when they arrived we realized we had missed a major email explaining they wanted breeding rights.  This changed the price of the puppy to a much higher price.  She said she had mentioned it in an email.  Immediate frustration levels went up in my head and my husband's towards our son.....how could he have missed that?! We are always teaching the importance of being on top of his emails with respect to the pups.  We felt it was gross negligence.  But at that point there was nothing we could do.  Though they had driven quite a distance, the buyer and her young daughter felt they had to walk away as there was no way they could afford the new higher price.  I couldn't believe it as I watched them leave.  I felt sick to my stomach.  I had already been praying when I sensed the tension, but started pleading with God at that point.

This time I had a minor one-way dialogue before I went to thankfulness.  It it made no sense.  "I do not understand this.  What are you trying to teach my son?  Why did this have to happen?  Ok, I'm thankful for the lesson, but is there another way you could have taught him?  What about these poor people?  I'm thankful, but is there still a way we could turn this around?"  I went on and on.  Praying, folding laundry, praying, pacing, crying out, all the while, trying to be thankful.....though I wasn't feeling very thankful.

Suddenly, it occurred to my husband there was a way we could still make a deal, if we could just get them to turn around, but we didn't have a cell number for them?!  That made us even more frustrated at my son!  We went through all the emails and quickly emailed her phone, hoping she would somehow get it.  We called every person with her last name that we could find on the internet.  No answer.  We eventually had to let it go as a major learning experience.  But then suddenly, there she was at our door!  She had stopped at a coffee shop to calm down with her daughter and had taken out her phone, received the email from us telling her to come back if she wanted to, but then her phone died and she couldn't respond!  So she just came back.  God was working it all out without us even realizing it.

We were able to come to a mutual agreement that only occurred to us after they had left.  We just hadn't had enough time to think about it.  Did God suddenly put the new idea my husband's head because I had prayed?  She was pleased, we were pleased, the young girl was thrilled she could still leave with a puppy.  Whew!  When we went back through the emails, it was clear the email was there, but Satan had hidden it on us somehow, more blindness.  We marveled at how God had turned the whole affair around and turned it for good.  We learned once again how important it was to be thankful.  In this case, my son and and husband weren't super thankful when they were in the middle of it!  I was thankful on their behalf!  And I'm quite certain my prayers in the laundry room helped shift the situation into miracle mode.  This was our third miracle of the week and we had seen the pattern established each time.....be thankful and the miracle is imminent (as my fav. author Ann Voskamp always says....)  We made a pact that we'll try to recognize what our triggers are so that we don't let the frustrations levels get so high first, but instead go to thankfulness as soon as we see the frustration levels start to rise.  Anger is a sign we're not handling it right.

I wish all attacks would stop there, but I'm sure there are more to come.  I'm trusting God for the lesson we've clearly learned and that we'll be able to apply it when the inevitable attacks hit us.  To keep us on track, we have a new title for each current day.  Perhaps, without even knowing it, today would have been Weary Wednesday or Warring Wednesday, but now we'll try to make it more of an upbeat happier day, like "Wonderfuul Wednesday" or Merry Mondays or Terrific Tuesdays.....you get the idea.  It's a simple way we can keep ourselves more aware of the fact we want our days to be better.

Toil, Mere Talk, Eternal Moments, and God's Decor

All during the school year we talk about being wise and diligent as opposed to being slothful and lazy as the fool is described in Proverbs.  "The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labour." (12:24)  "Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense." (12:11)  "In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty." (14:23)  Those are just a few we've read recently  But they are all so good.

The implication is pretty clear, work is going to be hard, but worth it.  Our struggle is that it is really hard to work your land when you aren't home anymore!  RM is gone so much now that things are falling apart around the farm and he is not here to fix them.  We have very naughty cows.  They broke the fence again and they are starting to get out regularly, especially the little calves.  They're actually quite fun to get in.  I could send out a toddler and the cows would go running right back in.  But still, they aren't supposed to be getting out!  But, this is how it is right now.  So tonight, despite the fact he'll be tired from being on his feet all day teaching, he already knows that he's working all night on the fence.

This post is definitely a kudos to my husband post.  He is such an example to all of us about diligence these days.  I really can hardly think of anyone that puts in more hours in a day lately.  I used to think he worked hard, but now, it's a whole new level of hard.  The college might be striking in the next two weeks and there's a little part of us that won't be upset as he'll get some unwanted/wanted time off!

Wednesday night is our Bible Quizzing practice night.  He's the coach, so we start when he gets home.  Right before he was supposed to arrive home I got a text from my son saying that the truck had broken down on the side of the road and that they were waiting for a tow truck to bring our truck home.  This wasn't a complete surprise to us.  We had heard some strange sounds that we didn't like coming from the truck.  We had fixed it once, but perhaps it was going again?  Also, we have noticed that each week right before quizzing starts, we get some form of spiritual attack that makes us want to stop quizzing.  We try to pray now, anticipating, "What will the attack be this week?"  When we added up all the verses our kids have memorized in just 4 weeks, it is well over 200, so no surprise that Satan hates us and what we're doing.  Not only are the older ones memorizing, but now the little kids are memorizing, too?!  He has to do something to stop us each week.  This week it was the truck.

A lot of the Dads come out each week to the quiz practice.  I love that.  They get to see their kids participate and memorize in person.  They were all very concerned about RM and wanted to help.  Could they pick him up?  Would we need to borrow a car?  What could they do for us?  Very sweet. When RM walked in the door, he grabbed a two second dinner, checked in to see if we were all ok and then said, "Sorry, I got to go fix the truck, I need it for work tomorrow!"  Everyone was so confused.  How could he fix the truck at night?  How did he already have the parts?  Was he going to do it himself?  As his wife, I knew exactly what he had done without him even telling me, as this has happened more than once.  I explained, "Let me take a guess.  I'm pretty sure I know what he did.  As soon as the truck pulled over to the side of the road, he called CAA.  Then he called his parts guy who said, 'Sorry, we'll be closed in a few minutes.'  Then, my husband said, 'Let me pay now over the phone and you just leave the part outside the door (small town niceness lets them do that).'  Then, he quickly picked up the part and voila, he fixes it tonight."  I checked with RM later to see if that was what had happened and he said, "That's exactly what happened!"

Sure enough, he sat with me for a few minutes after everyone left and around 8 pm, he went to work on the truck.  It was fixed in less than an hour as he's good at fixing this particular issue.  The next day he and my daughter both took their separate vehicles to work and not a single day of work was missed.  Amazing.  I explained to my kids the next day, "You have to know Dad didn't have to do that.  He could have used all sorts of excuses about why he didn't fix it right away.  He could have delayed because the parts store was closed.  He could have said he was tired and he wouldn't have been lying."  I wanted them to see Proverbs worked out in real life and watching their dad was the perfect way to see diligence up close.  "In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty." Mere talk.  What a great phrase.  All toil.  Profit.  Poverty.  He made us money by working hard.  We didn't have to buy a new car or pay someone else to fix it.  He toiled.  Thus, we profited.  He didn't just talk about fixing it, he did the work.  It saved us from poverty.  Fixing cars has always been something I noticed about him in the early days of our courtship.  Without knowing it, it was a litmus test of his character.  I remember watching him run off to fix someone else's car when he could have stayed back to be with me and I remember thinking dreamy thoughts of how manly it made him in my eyes!  A great reminder to watch for those types of signs for my children and their future spouses-to-be.....but I digress....

This is a picture of all the junior quizzers.  They are amazing.  In just a few weeks, some of them have already memorized two whole chapters of 1 Corinthians.

After we picked the grapes, we put them in the grape crusher (also found on the farm).  Each boy takes a turn turning the crank.  They love doing that.  Then, the grapes get put in the fruit press (also found on the farm) and the grapes are pressed until every drop is out.  It makes for the sweetest juice I've ever tasted.

The truck was just a little blip in the road this week.  We continue to love the warm weather this fall has brought.  I've found myself being extra happy just because of the weather.  That worries me because I know cold weather is coming.....We spent a couple hours outside in the vineyard picking grapes for juice yesterday and I had to keep pinching myself as I just kept having eternal moment after eternal moment.  Was I really in a vineyard picking grapes?  Our grapes?  How did this happen?  I had all my boys around me.  One was just sitting eating grapes and holding snails (he is the epitome of the rhyme about little boys...snails and puppy dog tails....), another was wandering around looking for secret paths in the grape vines.  Another was diligently picking grapes.  Another one was driving the gator back and forth for me.  For all the hard times with kids, school and vehicles, every so often, God just picks me up and drops me into a place that feels like I'm in heaven.  I could have stayed there all day.  If that is what heaven is like, I really look forward to it.  What a wonderful glimpse it was yesterday.

One final thing....this weekend I am hosting Thanksgiving.  I love Fall decorating and I love the fact that my entire house has been decorated now with things from the farm and all the barns.  I gave myself the challenge of making the table completely decorated without buying anything, if possible.  I turned to weeds.  I love Fall weeds!  The only purchase I did make was to buy some super cheap burlap that came from a farm supply store.  It's virtually free because it isn't used for decorating.  I would have paid so much more if I had bought it in a home decor store.  I felt pretty smart about that (and it was on sale!).  That makes me really happy.  I sent my kids down to the vineyard to get grapes and vines, which they did.  I put the burlap down the center of the table and then threw the grape vines down the center of the table, too.  The kids and I went to the local farmer and picked up a few gourds and squash (ok, another small purchase, but I can eat them later!)  Then we picked up some local apples, also from just down the street (we can also eat those later!) and put those all over the house.  I put weeds in some mason jars and the look was complete.  I basically took God's decor that He naturally uses outside and just brought it in.  He's my inspiration, not some magazine!  It looks great and I get to eat most of it later, except for the weeds.....Super cool!  I'm thankful already!