Sometimes I don't always know what to pray for. Lately we've been praying for the same types of things as we sit together with the kids in the morning, but yesterday was different. We were reading Proverbs 2 and it suddenly came to me. It was very clear what to pray for.
Proverbs 2 is all about wisdom. The chapter title says, "The Value of Wisdom". But what I loved, as 7 of my kids were sitting around me, was there was a specific way to pray about how to receive this wisdom. So yesterday, as we went around, I told each child, "Pray for this...." and then I would give each of them a phrase.
For example...verse one says, "If you receive my words..." So I said, "Pray, 'Lord, help me to receive your words." I loved hearing my 8 year old say just that, "Lord, help me to receive your words!" So sweet! We went on...each verse had an action or two that we could specifically pray... Here's what we specifically prayed -
Help me to receive your words.
Help me treasure up your commandments.
Make my ear attentive to wisdom.
Incline my heart to understanding.
Help me call out for insight.
Help me to raise my voice for understanding.
Help me to seek wisdom like silver.
Help me to search for it like hidden treasure.
Though we clearly still prayed for safety for Daddy as he finished the towers, etc. Yesterday we were just calling out for wisdom. The next verses promised that if we did all those things mentioned above then we would "understand the fear of the Lord" and we would "find the knowledge of God." That's what we want.
All through the rest of the morning, whenever my 6 year old resisted my attempts at teaching, I would say, "incline your ear to me" or "receive my words"! He's not quite the avid reader I want him to be, so where will he get his wisdom from, but me?! I am his source of wisdom right now. Even learning to read is a way to seek wisdom as he's learning to read by listening to me which will ultimately teach him to obey God! It's all connected. The Bible is the greatest teacher's guide. It really helped keep us on track yesterday and would bring us back when we lost focus.
I'm so glad I don't have to make this stuff up on my own.....it's all right there in black and white.
Wednesday, 29 March 2017
Tuesday, 28 March 2017
Simple Things that Make Me Happy
I've written about this before, but I have to say again.....zone cleaning is the way to go. I could be in a constant state of being overwhelmed if it weren't for Flylady, who introduced me to this idea of zone cleaning. Along with the Maxwells program of doing chores and scheduling, my life is so much more manageable.
I had let it slide a bit and was just doing the basic scheduling and the basic chores, but I noticed there were certain areas of my home that were getting worse and worse and I wondered, as I started to sink under the pile of clutter again, was there any hope of ever getting to those things?
That was when I reinstated the zone cleaning. I made a ridiculously long list of things that had to be done each week in each zone and then assigned duties to myself and all the kids. I didn't care when they did their task, as long as it was done that week and not carried over into the next. We are now in week 5 of the month, zone 5....THE DREADED BASEMENT. This will be the worst of the zones as it is super neglected and somehow stuff just keeps getting put there with no thought of why, but this week, it will all get dealt with, whether the kids like it or not.
I have hope, however, as I've been doing this for a few weeks now and each dreaded task from other rooms has amazingly been done (like cleaning out the garbage closet or washing the disgusting bathroom/toothbrush drawer....) So I know it will get done.
The other neat thing about zone cleaning is that I've noticed other tasks will come to my attention, say, in the kitchen, and I'm always tempted to get distracted and start on those, but I won't now. I know the kitchen is zone 1, week 1, which is coming up next week. So, that allows me to stay focused on the, ugh, basement. I will eventually get to the kitchen which keeps the overwhelming feeling at bay. If I maintain this a little better each month, then eventually my house will be almost entirely clutter-free, especially if I am really diligent.
My oldest daughter also gets huge kudos this month....she has taken on the task of teaching my other daughters how to sew. They both know the basics and how to operate a machine, but they haven't done an actual sewing pattern. Well, it just so happens Easter is around the corner and, in the past, when she was younger, we used to use that as an opportunity to sew Easter dresses. Yesterday, she took both girls out to the fabric store and they picked a sweet dress pattern and some fabric and they are going to attempt to make themselves Easter dresses. I'm so excited for them and I think it will be so cute.
I know I won't have this extra help forever and I am just eating it up while she's here. What a blessing to the other girls! Is it cheaper to make your own dress? Ha! No. It most definitely isn't. We could have easily found Easter dresses with matching shoes and hats and purses for what we spent yesterday, but we are considering it an education, so it is an investment. We invested in my other daughter years ago and now the investment is certainly coming back to bless us. The funny part is we suggested this to daughter #2 yesterday and she had no interest whatsoever. Well, too bad, we said. You're sewing anyway. Once she was in the store and picked a pattern and some fabric she got all excited, so I think she's on board now. It's so easy to let them get in a rut and just hang out and be in front of a screen (which is where she would rather be sometimes), but we gently (or not-so-gently) pushed her out of her comfort zone and I think it will be great to see what she comes up with.
Zone cleaning and sewing....just a few of the regular, but awesome things going on that make me happy right now!
I had let it slide a bit and was just doing the basic scheduling and the basic chores, but I noticed there were certain areas of my home that were getting worse and worse and I wondered, as I started to sink under the pile of clutter again, was there any hope of ever getting to those things?
That was when I reinstated the zone cleaning. I made a ridiculously long list of things that had to be done each week in each zone and then assigned duties to myself and all the kids. I didn't care when they did their task, as long as it was done that week and not carried over into the next. We are now in week 5 of the month, zone 5....THE DREADED BASEMENT. This will be the worst of the zones as it is super neglected and somehow stuff just keeps getting put there with no thought of why, but this week, it will all get dealt with, whether the kids like it or not.
I have hope, however, as I've been doing this for a few weeks now and each dreaded task from other rooms has amazingly been done (like cleaning out the garbage closet or washing the disgusting bathroom/toothbrush drawer....) So I know it will get done.
The other neat thing about zone cleaning is that I've noticed other tasks will come to my attention, say, in the kitchen, and I'm always tempted to get distracted and start on those, but I won't now. I know the kitchen is zone 1, week 1, which is coming up next week. So, that allows me to stay focused on the, ugh, basement. I will eventually get to the kitchen which keeps the overwhelming feeling at bay. If I maintain this a little better each month, then eventually my house will be almost entirely clutter-free, especially if I am really diligent.
My oldest daughter also gets huge kudos this month....she has taken on the task of teaching my other daughters how to sew. They both know the basics and how to operate a machine, but they haven't done an actual sewing pattern. Well, it just so happens Easter is around the corner and, in the past, when she was younger, we used to use that as an opportunity to sew Easter dresses. Yesterday, she took both girls out to the fabric store and they picked a sweet dress pattern and some fabric and they are going to attempt to make themselves Easter dresses. I'm so excited for them and I think it will be so cute.
I know I won't have this extra help forever and I am just eating it up while she's here. What a blessing to the other girls! Is it cheaper to make your own dress? Ha! No. It most definitely isn't. We could have easily found Easter dresses with matching shoes and hats and purses for what we spent yesterday, but we are considering it an education, so it is an investment. We invested in my other daughter years ago and now the investment is certainly coming back to bless us. The funny part is we suggested this to daughter #2 yesterday and she had no interest whatsoever. Well, too bad, we said. You're sewing anyway. Once she was in the store and picked a pattern and some fabric she got all excited, so I think she's on board now. It's so easy to let them get in a rut and just hang out and be in front of a screen (which is where she would rather be sometimes), but we gently (or not-so-gently) pushed her out of her comfort zone and I think it will be great to see what she comes up with.
Zone cleaning and sewing....just a few of the regular, but awesome things going on that make me happy right now!
Monday, 27 March 2017
Breaking the Millenial Mold
Well, this is the week we've been waiting for...for months.....the towers RM has been working on will be shipped. We calculated, in addition to a number of other procedures, that he will have drilled nearly 5000 holes into either aluminum or steel, which explains why his wrists, hands, fingers, bones all hurt. But, praise God, no significant injuries, no significant delays. We'll all be glad to see these things go as they have a huge impact on the family life. We see Dad around, but we don't really see him, if you know what I mean. He attends events here and there, but then has to immediately leave as soon as he can to finish off the project. Why so much pressure? Because if he doesn't deliver them on time, he doesn't get paid for them. It's actually written in the contract.
So then why do we love towers so much? Why do we take these brutal contracts? I haven't written very much positive stuff about them lately. We take them because they pay quite well and this year if our son does get into school, we will definitely need the extra cash. They will allow us to pay a good chunk of the mortgage down, too, so even though it is hard work, we love towers. There's a chance he might get another one of these this year and though it's hard to wrap our heads around it, we'll take the work.
It has been a great lesson in the "no shortcuts" philosophy. Would I love to win the lottery? Actually, no...where's the satisfaction in that?! If and when we pay off the mortgage, I will truly be able to say we truly worked hard to do it (by God's grace, of course). We aren't sitting around hoping it will happen. We are, or at least my husband and boys are, working till their bones ache. My part has been, as usual, to keep them alive and fed, with clean clothes and a place they can come home to that is pleasant and somewhat tidy. The few times that I was away over lunch, he just didn't eat! I would ask him later why he didn't eat, but it was just another thing he had to think about and his head was too full already, so he just bypassed lunch on the days I wasn't here. People may have thought it strange when I would say, "I'm busy, my husband has a contract due..." when I was asked over, but it really meant I was busy, too!
There's been a lot of talk about "millenials" lately. They say this particular group of people are lazy and entitled. They expect mommy and daddy to shell out everything for them as mommy and daddy did their whole lives. Supposedly, from what I've read, this generalization comes from the fact that mommy and daddy had to work really hard to get where they are today and because of that they supposedly don't want their kids to have to work as hard as they did....thus the constant helping out. The only problem with that is that the kids never learn to work and what seemed like a good idea actually wasn't. Hard work becomes a very uncool thing. As I continued to read about them, this group of people are now struggling with huge amounts of debt and there is no way for them to ever get out of debt as they just aren't willing to work. I read sad story after sad story in the news over the last few weeks of their hopeless situations.
If nothing else, I was glad for the printed stories as it was great incentive for discussion with my husband and our kids, to keep persevering, to not be afraid to work hard, to continue to avoid debt, to set goals for them (big goals - house and car...sooner than later...). Of course, not everyone millenial has that reputation. My hairdresser, for one. She and I were talking and she kept talking about her house. House? She was so young, maybe 27, how did she own a house? Unbelievably she bought her first house, on her own, at 22! How did she do it?! She set a goal. She told me that she decided, "I want a car by 18." Then she got it and paid it off right away. Next, she said, "I want a house." So she worked at least 2 jobs, maybe more, sold her horse, and by 22, owned a house. My two girls go see her now and I told her, "Make sure you mention what you did to them!" So, now she drops all sorts of hints whenever they are there. Does she have an amazing social life? All the best clothes? Maybe not, but it doesn't matter to her, she set goals and was willing to work hard to achieve them. Talk about breaking the millenial mold.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." (Eccl.3:1) Right now, it is a season of work. One day there will be a season of rest. After the towers are over, we move right into farming season and prepping the house again for the cold winter ahead. So there won't be much time for rest...yet, but we know that a time of rest will come. And, even though we are working hard, we take time for rest most evenings so that we aren't completely worn out. Maybe the rest won't come until retirement, I don't know, all I do know is that it is for a season. I don't know how long that season is, but God knows our limits, so I can trust Him with the unknown. Ecclesiastes also says we are to "find enjoyment in his toil". We actually do find enjoyment in our toil as we are usually all together. I think that's why we don't see the hard work as that hard.
Ecclesiates encourages me with this final verse that we are to busy with what God has given us to do, "I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with." (3:10) So for now, that's what we do - we take the work He gives us and keep on keeping on until He tells us to stop.
So then why do we love towers so much? Why do we take these brutal contracts? I haven't written very much positive stuff about them lately. We take them because they pay quite well and this year if our son does get into school, we will definitely need the extra cash. They will allow us to pay a good chunk of the mortgage down, too, so even though it is hard work, we love towers. There's a chance he might get another one of these this year and though it's hard to wrap our heads around it, we'll take the work.
It has been a great lesson in the "no shortcuts" philosophy. Would I love to win the lottery? Actually, no...where's the satisfaction in that?! If and when we pay off the mortgage, I will truly be able to say we truly worked hard to do it (by God's grace, of course). We aren't sitting around hoping it will happen. We are, or at least my husband and boys are, working till their bones ache. My part has been, as usual, to keep them alive and fed, with clean clothes and a place they can come home to that is pleasant and somewhat tidy. The few times that I was away over lunch, he just didn't eat! I would ask him later why he didn't eat, but it was just another thing he had to think about and his head was too full already, so he just bypassed lunch on the days I wasn't here. People may have thought it strange when I would say, "I'm busy, my husband has a contract due..." when I was asked over, but it really meant I was busy, too!
There's been a lot of talk about "millenials" lately. They say this particular group of people are lazy and entitled. They expect mommy and daddy to shell out everything for them as mommy and daddy did their whole lives. Supposedly, from what I've read, this generalization comes from the fact that mommy and daddy had to work really hard to get where they are today and because of that they supposedly don't want their kids to have to work as hard as they did....thus the constant helping out. The only problem with that is that the kids never learn to work and what seemed like a good idea actually wasn't. Hard work becomes a very uncool thing. As I continued to read about them, this group of people are now struggling with huge amounts of debt and there is no way for them to ever get out of debt as they just aren't willing to work. I read sad story after sad story in the news over the last few weeks of their hopeless situations.
If nothing else, I was glad for the printed stories as it was great incentive for discussion with my husband and our kids, to keep persevering, to not be afraid to work hard, to continue to avoid debt, to set goals for them (big goals - house and car...sooner than later...). Of course, not everyone millenial has that reputation. My hairdresser, for one. She and I were talking and she kept talking about her house. House? She was so young, maybe 27, how did she own a house? Unbelievably she bought her first house, on her own, at 22! How did she do it?! She set a goal. She told me that she decided, "I want a car by 18." Then she got it and paid it off right away. Next, she said, "I want a house." So she worked at least 2 jobs, maybe more, sold her horse, and by 22, owned a house. My two girls go see her now and I told her, "Make sure you mention what you did to them!" So, now she drops all sorts of hints whenever they are there. Does she have an amazing social life? All the best clothes? Maybe not, but it doesn't matter to her, she set goals and was willing to work hard to achieve them. Talk about breaking the millenial mold.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." (Eccl.3:1) Right now, it is a season of work. One day there will be a season of rest. After the towers are over, we move right into farming season and prepping the house again for the cold winter ahead. So there won't be much time for rest...yet, but we know that a time of rest will come. And, even though we are working hard, we take time for rest most evenings so that we aren't completely worn out. Maybe the rest won't come until retirement, I don't know, all I do know is that it is for a season. I don't know how long that season is, but God knows our limits, so I can trust Him with the unknown. Ecclesiastes also says we are to "find enjoyment in his toil". We actually do find enjoyment in our toil as we are usually all together. I think that's why we don't see the hard work as that hard.
Ecclesiates encourages me with this final verse that we are to busy with what God has given us to do, "I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with." (3:10) So for now, that's what we do - we take the work He gives us and keep on keeping on until He tells us to stop.
Tuesday, 21 March 2017
Learning to Calm and Quiet the Soul
A lot of time has passed between the last post and this post....I rack it up to March Break and just plain taking a break. It was nice to sleep in a few mornings and just relax a little.
My Dad's March Break started with surgery to replace his hip. I'm happy to report that he's doing great and unbelievably getting around with the help of a walker and my mom waiting on him.
The younger kids and I did a couple days at an outdoor education center. We were supposed to be there all week but the weather decided to go from pre-spring to full winter! So it was cancelled for two of the four days, but when we did get to go it was fun...snowshoeing and all. The kids loved it.
The older boys were my husband's right hand men as he is finishing his huge tower contract due at the end of this month. We marvel at how helpful they have become with their growing strength each year. We figure they've saved him many days of work and we're so grateful.
In and amongst all the helping out with his Dad, my oldest son continues to finish up his final courses in the hopes of hopefully heading off to university in the fall. It was supposed to be straightforward. He would start the math course and finish the math course. But it hasn't gone that way. He started the math course and then found out it was not going to be a walk in the park....far from it. This is where I want to walk away from parenting and farm it out to someone else. I hate seeing my kids struggle. I hate it when life is hard for them. All I want to do is wave my magic wand and make everything go smoothly for them. I want to tell them what lesson they are supposed to learn and then be done with it.
Kevin Swanson once said, "If you want to teach your kids character, give them math." So true. The old me that was so prone to fear used to roll up into the fetal position and absolutely panic when my son would come down and tell me he didn't know what to do, when a math problem was beyond him or whatever it was. I would immediately jump ahead into the future and realize he was doomed to be a failure just by his one little math problem. The new me is always tempted to go down that same path of fear, but I have learned it does him no good to see me panic and it does me no good. So now, when he comes down, I calmly listen to him (while shooting up all sorts of prayers heavenward) and try to help him walk through his problem.
The math is completely beyond me. I did do math in university, at least in my first year, but no more after that and it certainly has been many years so I am not much good to him. My husband hasn't even done this kind of math in years so he understands it, but he has to go through the lessons also. So what is all this teaching? Why must he go through this? Well, we see it as a huge life lesson in perseverance first and foremost. For all of us. My son is learning to not give up just because it appears too hard.
It is also teaching him new skills that he never wanted to learn. He had relied on my oldest daughter for all his technological skills. She would download programs for him, send files, etc. etc....he never cared to learn and she was always around and loved doing it. No more. She is busy and he has to learn it in order to run his math course. At first he balked at it and really fought it, but he knew he had no choice. Now he is more computer literate just by taking this one on-line course! I'm so grateful.
He's also learning that though he appears diligent, he could be even more diligent. Though he has good attitude, he could have even better attitude! And though he has pushed himself, he could push himself even further. We had quite a breakthrough last week when all this kind of came to a head. My son was panicking (guess he got that from me) and was paralyzed as a result. He was quite certain he was going to be stuck in some awful job in his future because he just couldn't get this math. I was starting to go down my fearful path and was feeling very sorry for my son. My husband stepped in and instead of giving him a "Poor you" pep talk, he actually rebuked him and said, "You can try harder. Stop feeling sorry for yourself" kind of talk. I was so sad for my son as he was quite upset.
Later that day, my son came to me and said, "Mom, you can't feel sorry for me. Dad is right. I can work harder and I have to." I was stunned. All week long I'd been praying for him that God would give him supernatural math knowledge, but that wasn't what he needed. He needed supernatural perseverance and that was what God was giving him. He was answering me in an even better way. I think what I'm learning the most in this whole experience is that there are no shortcuts to success. All success comes from hard work. I just wanted my son to get it right away. Don't all good math students get it right away? Perhaps some do, but most have to learn it the hard way, by doing all the homework and then some.
The next morning, I was reading in the Psalms and this time I came to the Bible with my sad mom hat on. I was still feeling so burdened for my son. I came asking God to encourage me through His Word. Maybe He could give me something to share with my son as well. The next few minutes I must have read 25 psalms and I must have underlined that many verses or more. I came across verse after verse that could have been written for a mom of a son who was struggling with math. Here are just a few...
I lift up my eyes to the hill. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Ps. 121: 1) Surely he can help my son learn his math if he made heaven and earth!
Ps. 121:8 said, "The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore." I added in the margin, "and your getting in" and even "your getting it", meaning he also knows if my son will get in to school and if and when my son will get his math.
Ps. 123:2 - "...so our eyes look to the Lord our God till he has mercy upon us." That's what I do. I turn my eyes to God for His mercy on myself and my son.
Ps. 124:1 - "If it had not been the Lord who was on our side.....Our help is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth."
This was one of my favourites, Psalm 131:1,2 - "O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me, but I have calmed and quieted my soul...." That verse described it best. I'm not going to occupy my mind with things that are beyond me, beyond my control. Instead I'm going to calm and quiet my soul. Now, when I do that, my day goes on because I no longer am feeling like I'm trying to control everything. The burden of my son's success is no longer on me.
Psalm 138:8 says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me." And He will fulfill His purpose for my son, too.
So, that's been my most recent life lesson. As usual, God is using my kids to teach me many lessons. I often tell my friend, if you want to get sanctified, have kids....
Speaking of kids....there are 11 in my house this week. I'm watching 3 extra. The funny thing is we don't even really notice! So it's a full house again, but everyone is loving having different "siblings" around.
God even knew these kids would be here this week, "In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139
He knows every day even before it happens. I can take comfort in that this week and in every week.
My Dad's March Break started with surgery to replace his hip. I'm happy to report that he's doing great and unbelievably getting around with the help of a walker and my mom waiting on him.
The younger kids and I did a couple days at an outdoor education center. We were supposed to be there all week but the weather decided to go from pre-spring to full winter! So it was cancelled for two of the four days, but when we did get to go it was fun...snowshoeing and all. The kids loved it.
The older boys were my husband's right hand men as he is finishing his huge tower contract due at the end of this month. We marvel at how helpful they have become with their growing strength each year. We figure they've saved him many days of work and we're so grateful.
In and amongst all the helping out with his Dad, my oldest son continues to finish up his final courses in the hopes of hopefully heading off to university in the fall. It was supposed to be straightforward. He would start the math course and finish the math course. But it hasn't gone that way. He started the math course and then found out it was not going to be a walk in the park....far from it. This is where I want to walk away from parenting and farm it out to someone else. I hate seeing my kids struggle. I hate it when life is hard for them. All I want to do is wave my magic wand and make everything go smoothly for them. I want to tell them what lesson they are supposed to learn and then be done with it.
Kevin Swanson once said, "If you want to teach your kids character, give them math." So true. The old me that was so prone to fear used to roll up into the fetal position and absolutely panic when my son would come down and tell me he didn't know what to do, when a math problem was beyond him or whatever it was. I would immediately jump ahead into the future and realize he was doomed to be a failure just by his one little math problem. The new me is always tempted to go down that same path of fear, but I have learned it does him no good to see me panic and it does me no good. So now, when he comes down, I calmly listen to him (while shooting up all sorts of prayers heavenward) and try to help him walk through his problem.
The math is completely beyond me. I did do math in university, at least in my first year, but no more after that and it certainly has been many years so I am not much good to him. My husband hasn't even done this kind of math in years so he understands it, but he has to go through the lessons also. So what is all this teaching? Why must he go through this? Well, we see it as a huge life lesson in perseverance first and foremost. For all of us. My son is learning to not give up just because it appears too hard.
It is also teaching him new skills that he never wanted to learn. He had relied on my oldest daughter for all his technological skills. She would download programs for him, send files, etc. etc....he never cared to learn and she was always around and loved doing it. No more. She is busy and he has to learn it in order to run his math course. At first he balked at it and really fought it, but he knew he had no choice. Now he is more computer literate just by taking this one on-line course! I'm so grateful.
He's also learning that though he appears diligent, he could be even more diligent. Though he has good attitude, he could have even better attitude! And though he has pushed himself, he could push himself even further. We had quite a breakthrough last week when all this kind of came to a head. My son was panicking (guess he got that from me) and was paralyzed as a result. He was quite certain he was going to be stuck in some awful job in his future because he just couldn't get this math. I was starting to go down my fearful path and was feeling very sorry for my son. My husband stepped in and instead of giving him a "Poor you" pep talk, he actually rebuked him and said, "You can try harder. Stop feeling sorry for yourself" kind of talk. I was so sad for my son as he was quite upset.
Later that day, my son came to me and said, "Mom, you can't feel sorry for me. Dad is right. I can work harder and I have to." I was stunned. All week long I'd been praying for him that God would give him supernatural math knowledge, but that wasn't what he needed. He needed supernatural perseverance and that was what God was giving him. He was answering me in an even better way. I think what I'm learning the most in this whole experience is that there are no shortcuts to success. All success comes from hard work. I just wanted my son to get it right away. Don't all good math students get it right away? Perhaps some do, but most have to learn it the hard way, by doing all the homework and then some.
The next morning, I was reading in the Psalms and this time I came to the Bible with my sad mom hat on. I was still feeling so burdened for my son. I came asking God to encourage me through His Word. Maybe He could give me something to share with my son as well. The next few minutes I must have read 25 psalms and I must have underlined that many verses or more. I came across verse after verse that could have been written for a mom of a son who was struggling with math. Here are just a few...
I lift up my eyes to the hill. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Ps. 121: 1) Surely he can help my son learn his math if he made heaven and earth!
Ps. 121:8 said, "The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore." I added in the margin, "and your getting in" and even "your getting it", meaning he also knows if my son will get in to school and if and when my son will get his math.
Ps. 123:2 - "...so our eyes look to the Lord our God till he has mercy upon us." That's what I do. I turn my eyes to God for His mercy on myself and my son.
Ps. 124:1 - "If it had not been the Lord who was on our side.....Our help is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth."
This was one of my favourites, Psalm 131:1,2 - "O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me, but I have calmed and quieted my soul...." That verse described it best. I'm not going to occupy my mind with things that are beyond me, beyond my control. Instead I'm going to calm and quiet my soul. Now, when I do that, my day goes on because I no longer am feeling like I'm trying to control everything. The burden of my son's success is no longer on me.
Psalm 138:8 says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me." And He will fulfill His purpose for my son, too.
So, that's been my most recent life lesson. As usual, God is using my kids to teach me many lessons. I often tell my friend, if you want to get sanctified, have kids....
Speaking of kids....there are 11 in my house this week. I'm watching 3 extra. The funny thing is we don't even really notice! So it's a full house again, but everyone is loving having different "siblings" around.
God even knew these kids would be here this week, "In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139
He knows every day even before it happens. I can take comfort in that this week and in every week.
Monday, 6 March 2017
I Married Batman
This past weekend we were able to enjoy what has become somewhat of an annual event....going to a newly released children's movie paid for by a fund company that my dad is associated with. It is the most fun thing for our children to do as they get to order whatever candy they want, whatever drink they want, as well as a huge bag of popcorn.....with no "share with your sister" or "not this time, it's too expensive"....no holds barred. They love it.
This year the movie was Batman (the Lego movie). It has to be one of the funniest movies out there. We were laughing from the second it started. I think the thing that makes us all laugh the most is that the Batman character kind of reminds us of someone in our house. That's right. I married Batman. Batman is my children's father. The similarities are endless and, I have to say, somewhat hilarious.
Before he met me, Batman, aka RM, was prepared to live alone and never marry. Batman, throughout the move, says, "I work alone. I'm a team of one." This, of course, has to change for Batman as he's obviously lonely. RM was a team of one, too and definitely worked alone. But, just like Superman and his Kryptonite...he had a weakness....me! I'm so glad he decided to stop working alone!
Batman also gets really bugged by bad music. But he loves good music! He makes a very funny growling sound when he is angry and "full of rage". So does RM. We all imitate RM's growl and, in fact, we all do it, too, whenever bad music comes on now.
Batman's close friend, Alfred, asks Batman a personal question in the movie....."No, no, no, no, no, no......!!!!!!" He hates too many questions, he hates bad questions, he hates being bugged when he's concentrating! RM, too. We all laughed. If RM were to ever be compared to anything, we would all agree, he is definitely most like the Batman Lego character.
Batman had to learn some lessons in the movie about kindness and relationships. Recently, my Batman learned a lesson in kindness and relationships, too. Last week, RM had been feeling particularly awful. We weren't sure if he was coming down with something or if he just had sore muscles, but he was in a lot of pain. When he feels so badly, it impacts everything in his day, even how he listens to sermons on the radio. It puts a bit of a dark filter on things. One day, he had heard a story about a pastor paying for some guy's food in a fast food lineup. It was a sermon on being kind and yes, it was a nice gesture, but it didn't impact him as a particularly moving example. RM was a little bugged as he wasn't sure the story was on kindness as much as getting out of being beat up. The pastor had paid for the man's meal because he had accidentally cut him off and the guy who he had cut off was furious! My husband, who was feeling grumpy because of all his pain, told me about the story that morning, but wasn't convinced it was the best illustration. Paying someone's bill because you don't want to get killed? Bah!
Friday afternoon, the same day he had told me about the sermon illustration, he and the two youngest went on a longer errand and he promised the boys he would take them out for a little snack as it was a long drive. In the drive-through line up, a truck quickly scooted in front of him. No big deal. He stayed calm, but he noticed the tailgate on the truck was open and the back of the truck was full of stuff that could easily fall out. He was pretty sure the driver didn't know and that he would want to know. So he got out of his car, in the line-up, and went and told the guy. The driver seemed grateful, gruffly acknowledge him and then got out of his truck and shut the tailgate. When my husband got up to the pay window, the cashier said, "No charge. The man in front of you paid for your bill." So funny. My Batman got blessed! He was not expecting that, especially based on the gruffness of the guy. RM's level of pain was lifted just a bit that day as someone showed him kindness. He also immediately saw the irony as he knew he had just talked about the exact same thing happening to someone else. The very thing he had questioned had now happened to him. And it moved him. It was true kindness from one stranger to another.
In the movie, Batman tries to work alone, but all throughout the movie, people keep trying to show him, you can't. We need one another. There is certainly no spiritual element to the movie, at all, but, to draw a small parallel, in life, we also try to go through life working hard, sometimes forgetting the God is there, forgetting that He cares, forgetting we need others, that relationships matter, kindness matters. My Batman received a small message that could have easily been overlooked that day. Having his meal paid for was just a little message from God, who knew his pain levels, and who showed him that having your bill paid is an act of kindness, that God can work through people, even strangers. We are all in this thing called life together. His spirits, and my boys' spirits, were definitely lifted that day and he witnessed the goodness in others. These funny little life lessons...they can come in the strangest forms...from drive through line-ups to Lego characters. We just need to keep our eyes open so we don't miss them.
This year the movie was Batman (the Lego movie). It has to be one of the funniest movies out there. We were laughing from the second it started. I think the thing that makes us all laugh the most is that the Batman character kind of reminds us of someone in our house. That's right. I married Batman. Batman is my children's father. The similarities are endless and, I have to say, somewhat hilarious.
Before he met me, Batman, aka RM, was prepared to live alone and never marry. Batman, throughout the move, says, "I work alone. I'm a team of one." This, of course, has to change for Batman as he's obviously lonely. RM was a team of one, too and definitely worked alone. But, just like Superman and his Kryptonite...he had a weakness....me! I'm so glad he decided to stop working alone!
Batman also gets really bugged by bad music. But he loves good music! He makes a very funny growling sound when he is angry and "full of rage". So does RM. We all imitate RM's growl and, in fact, we all do it, too, whenever bad music comes on now.
Batman's close friend, Alfred, asks Batman a personal question in the movie....."No, no, no, no, no, no......!!!!!!" He hates too many questions, he hates bad questions, he hates being bugged when he's concentrating! RM, too. We all laughed. If RM were to ever be compared to anything, we would all agree, he is definitely most like the Batman Lego character.
Batman had to learn some lessons in the movie about kindness and relationships. Recently, my Batman learned a lesson in kindness and relationships, too. Last week, RM had been feeling particularly awful. We weren't sure if he was coming down with something or if he just had sore muscles, but he was in a lot of pain. When he feels so badly, it impacts everything in his day, even how he listens to sermons on the radio. It puts a bit of a dark filter on things. One day, he had heard a story about a pastor paying for some guy's food in a fast food lineup. It was a sermon on being kind and yes, it was a nice gesture, but it didn't impact him as a particularly moving example. RM was a little bugged as he wasn't sure the story was on kindness as much as getting out of being beat up. The pastor had paid for the man's meal because he had accidentally cut him off and the guy who he had cut off was furious! My husband, who was feeling grumpy because of all his pain, told me about the story that morning, but wasn't convinced it was the best illustration. Paying someone's bill because you don't want to get killed? Bah!
Friday afternoon, the same day he had told me about the sermon illustration, he and the two youngest went on a longer errand and he promised the boys he would take them out for a little snack as it was a long drive. In the drive-through line up, a truck quickly scooted in front of him. No big deal. He stayed calm, but he noticed the tailgate on the truck was open and the back of the truck was full of stuff that could easily fall out. He was pretty sure the driver didn't know and that he would want to know. So he got out of his car, in the line-up, and went and told the guy. The driver seemed grateful, gruffly acknowledge him and then got out of his truck and shut the tailgate. When my husband got up to the pay window, the cashier said, "No charge. The man in front of you paid for your bill." So funny. My Batman got blessed! He was not expecting that, especially based on the gruffness of the guy. RM's level of pain was lifted just a bit that day as someone showed him kindness. He also immediately saw the irony as he knew he had just talked about the exact same thing happening to someone else. The very thing he had questioned had now happened to him. And it moved him. It was true kindness from one stranger to another.
In the movie, Batman tries to work alone, but all throughout the movie, people keep trying to show him, you can't. We need one another. There is certainly no spiritual element to the movie, at all, but, to draw a small parallel, in life, we also try to go through life working hard, sometimes forgetting the God is there, forgetting that He cares, forgetting we need others, that relationships matter, kindness matters. My Batman received a small message that could have easily been overlooked that day. Having his meal paid for was just a little message from God, who knew his pain levels, and who showed him that having your bill paid is an act of kindness, that God can work through people, even strangers. We are all in this thing called life together. His spirits, and my boys' spirits, were definitely lifted that day and he witnessed the goodness in others. These funny little life lessons...they can come in the strangest forms...from drive through line-ups to Lego characters. We just need to keep our eyes open so we don't miss them.
Thursday, 2 March 2017
Kid Issue of the Week
I write about these two younger boys of mine a lot....they seem to give me lots of writing material. As with all children, they have moments where they just shine, I love being with them, they act like angels, they'll make me laugh, but then.....there are moments when I don't know what's gotten into them. My older kids will say, "Uh, Mom....where did you go wrong with these guys?"
Recently I've started meeting with a couple younger moms from church. We try to be super intentional with our conversations. We try to only talk about our husbands, kids and marriage...not about extended family, friends or neighbours, etc....just not enough time! We also usually have a "kid issue of the week" which started with another mom I like to meet with. Then, we pray about whatever issues came up that week. My "kid issue of the week" was these two boys of mine. How could I keep them from being at war with one another all the time? How could I keep them focused, happy, obedient? These moms don't have older kids...yet. Their oldest kids are barely 3 or 4, so not a lot of advice from them, but prayer. That was just what I needed.
The next morning, we opened our Bible for the story of the day and it was about Isaac and his wells from Genesis 26. I couldn't believe it. It was a story directly from heaven, for me, about my boys. As Isaac grew up, he became very prosperous. This made his neighbours very jealous and they ordered him to leave their area. So, just like that, Isaac moved. He could have made a big stink and gotten into a battle with the leader of the Philistines who asked him to move, but he didn't. He simply left.
With all his animals needing water, he told his servants to go and clear the wells that his enemies had filled with dirt. There is no mention of how long it took to dig the well or how hard they worked, but I can picture it. I can imagine how hard it would have been and how long it took. Finally the water showed up and immediately the herdsmen of Gerar argued and fought saying the water was their's. This happened two times. Each time they redug a well, the herdsmen of Gerar would say it was their water, not Isaac's. Again, no battle ensued when it so easily could have. Isaac would merely tell his servants to go and dig again elsewhere.
On the third time there was no arguing, finally. That same night the Lord appeared to Isaac, "I am the God of Abraham your father. Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you and multiply your offspring for my servant and Abraham's sake."
Then, ironically, the very man who had sent Isaac away returned and asked to make a peace offering with Isaac as they clearly saw God was with him. They wanted a peace treaty.
I quickly stopped and tried to see if the kids saw all the connections to our family that I was seeing. Interestingly, right before the story, we had discussed Lent and what we could all give up for 40 days in the spirit of preparing ourselves for Easter. The classics came up, "ice cream" (which may sound strange, but it's a big deal in our house!), "sugar".....Some said, "Get up early for 40 days" or things like that, but I said, especially to my two boys who like to argue and fight, "How about giving up war....just like Isaac?"
Isaac's well story was my answer to prayer. He modeled the idea of turning the other cheek, of walking away from conflict instead of engaging. He chose peace when he could have chosen war, even when he was in the right. I'm quite certain the wells were a test that God allowed him to go through, to test him, just like his father Abraham had to go through a test. And, just like his father, he passed....with flying colours. The very night he had chosen peace for the 3rd time, God showed up and said, "Well done! I'm going to bless you!" And just to confirm it, in a way, his greatest enemy approached him and said, "Uh....I'd like to forget about that whole moving you out thing and actually make a peace treaty with you????" I told the boys...."CHOOSE PEACE AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU! Don't you see?" It was such a great example, such a good story for all of us to hear.
So, that's what I'm asking them to give up for Lent....war. I'm asking them to really choose peace for the next 40 days (and every day after that), but to choose peace intentionally. It was pretty funny, for the rest of the day they were syrupy sweet to one another as a kind of mock, but I didn't care, I'll take fake sweet and fake peace just so they'll start getting into the new habit. I really think it is as simple as that...a bad habit. They say it takes 30 days to start a new habit...well, I personally love the 40 days idea better as it is such a great Biblical number.
As I wrote this, one of the instigators just walked in like a cyclops, half-awake (that's one of his other goals for Lent...to wake up early every day...so far so good!) The story of Isaac and the wells is also for me...this is clearly a test for me as much as it is for them. I must help them choose peace and stay peaceful myself. I need to continue to stay patient when I want to lose it on them all the time. Blessing comes after obedience often in the Bible. The story ends beautifully, "And Isaac sent them on their way, and they departed from him in peace. That same day, Isacc's servants came and told him about the well that they had dug and said to him, 'We have found water.'" His enemies departed in peace and he found water. That's my prayer for my boys that they will depart from one another in peace and find water.
Recently I've started meeting with a couple younger moms from church. We try to be super intentional with our conversations. We try to only talk about our husbands, kids and marriage...not about extended family, friends or neighbours, etc....just not enough time! We also usually have a "kid issue of the week" which started with another mom I like to meet with. Then, we pray about whatever issues came up that week. My "kid issue of the week" was these two boys of mine. How could I keep them from being at war with one another all the time? How could I keep them focused, happy, obedient? These moms don't have older kids...yet. Their oldest kids are barely 3 or 4, so not a lot of advice from them, but prayer. That was just what I needed.
The next morning, we opened our Bible for the story of the day and it was about Isaac and his wells from Genesis 26. I couldn't believe it. It was a story directly from heaven, for me, about my boys. As Isaac grew up, he became very prosperous. This made his neighbours very jealous and they ordered him to leave their area. So, just like that, Isaac moved. He could have made a big stink and gotten into a battle with the leader of the Philistines who asked him to move, but he didn't. He simply left.
With all his animals needing water, he told his servants to go and clear the wells that his enemies had filled with dirt. There is no mention of how long it took to dig the well or how hard they worked, but I can picture it. I can imagine how hard it would have been and how long it took. Finally the water showed up and immediately the herdsmen of Gerar argued and fought saying the water was their's. This happened two times. Each time they redug a well, the herdsmen of Gerar would say it was their water, not Isaac's. Again, no battle ensued when it so easily could have. Isaac would merely tell his servants to go and dig again elsewhere.
On the third time there was no arguing, finally. That same night the Lord appeared to Isaac, "I am the God of Abraham your father. Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you and multiply your offspring for my servant and Abraham's sake."
Then, ironically, the very man who had sent Isaac away returned and asked to make a peace offering with Isaac as they clearly saw God was with him. They wanted a peace treaty.
I quickly stopped and tried to see if the kids saw all the connections to our family that I was seeing. Interestingly, right before the story, we had discussed Lent and what we could all give up for 40 days in the spirit of preparing ourselves for Easter. The classics came up, "ice cream" (which may sound strange, but it's a big deal in our house!), "sugar".....Some said, "Get up early for 40 days" or things like that, but I said, especially to my two boys who like to argue and fight, "How about giving up war....just like Isaac?"
Isaac's well story was my answer to prayer. He modeled the idea of turning the other cheek, of walking away from conflict instead of engaging. He chose peace when he could have chosen war, even when he was in the right. I'm quite certain the wells were a test that God allowed him to go through, to test him, just like his father Abraham had to go through a test. And, just like his father, he passed....with flying colours. The very night he had chosen peace for the 3rd time, God showed up and said, "Well done! I'm going to bless you!" And just to confirm it, in a way, his greatest enemy approached him and said, "Uh....I'd like to forget about that whole moving you out thing and actually make a peace treaty with you????" I told the boys...."CHOOSE PEACE AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU! Don't you see?" It was such a great example, such a good story for all of us to hear.
So, that's what I'm asking them to give up for Lent....war. I'm asking them to really choose peace for the next 40 days (and every day after that), but to choose peace intentionally. It was pretty funny, for the rest of the day they were syrupy sweet to one another as a kind of mock, but I didn't care, I'll take fake sweet and fake peace just so they'll start getting into the new habit. I really think it is as simple as that...a bad habit. They say it takes 30 days to start a new habit...well, I personally love the 40 days idea better as it is such a great Biblical number.
As I wrote this, one of the instigators just walked in like a cyclops, half-awake (that's one of his other goals for Lent...to wake up early every day...so far so good!) The story of Isaac and the wells is also for me...this is clearly a test for me as much as it is for them. I must help them choose peace and stay peaceful myself. I need to continue to stay patient when I want to lose it on them all the time. Blessing comes after obedience often in the Bible. The story ends beautifully, "And Isaac sent them on their way, and they departed from him in peace. That same day, Isacc's servants came and told him about the well that they had dug and said to him, 'We have found water.'" His enemies departed in peace and he found water. That's my prayer for my boys that they will depart from one another in peace and find water.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)