Kid Issue of the Week

I write about these two younger boys of mine a lot....they seem to give me lots of writing material. As with all children, they have moments where they just shine, I love being with them, they act like angels, they'll make me laugh, but then.....there are moments when I don't know what's gotten into them.  My older kids will say, "Uh, Mom....where did you go wrong with these guys?"

Recently I've started meeting with a couple younger moms from church.  We try to be super intentional with our conversations.  We try to only talk about our husbands, kids and marriage...not about extended family, friends or neighbours, etc....just not enough time!  We also usually have a "kid issue of the week" which started with another mom I like to meet with.  Then, we pray about whatever issues came up that week.  My "kid issue of the week" was these two boys of mine.  How could I keep them from being at war with one another all the time?  How could I keep them focused, happy, obedient?  These moms don't have older kids...yet.  Their oldest kids are barely 3 or 4, so not a lot of advice from them, but prayer.  That was just what I needed.

The next morning, we opened our Bible for the story of the day and it was about Isaac and his wells from Genesis 26.  I couldn't believe it.  It was a story directly from heaven, for me, about my boys. As Isaac grew up, he became very prosperous.  This made his neighbours very jealous and they ordered him to leave their area.  So, just like that, Isaac moved.  He could have made a big stink and gotten into a battle with the leader of the Philistines who asked him to move, but he didn't.  He simply left.

With all his animals needing water, he told his servants to go and clear the wells that his enemies had filled with dirt.  There is no mention of how long it took to dig the well or how hard they worked, but I can picture it.  I can imagine how hard it would have been and how long it took.  Finally the water showed up and immediately the herdsmen of Gerar argued and fought saying the water was their's. This happened two times.  Each time they redug a well, the herdsmen of Gerar would say it was their water, not Isaac's.  Again, no battle ensued when it so easily could have.  Isaac would merely tell his servants to go and dig again elsewhere.

On the third time there was no arguing, finally.  That same night the Lord appeared to Isaac, "I am the God of Abraham your father.  Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you and multiply your offspring for my servant and Abraham's sake."

Then, ironically, the very man who had sent Isaac away returned and asked to make a peace offering with Isaac as they clearly saw God was with him.  They wanted a peace treaty.

I quickly stopped and tried to see if the kids saw all the connections to our family that I was seeing. Interestingly, right before the story, we had discussed Lent and what we could all give up for 40 days in the spirit of preparing ourselves for Easter.  The classics came up, "ice cream" (which may sound strange, but it's a big deal in our house!), "sugar".....Some said, "Get up early for 40 days" or things like that, but I said, especially to my two boys who like to argue and fight, "How about giving up war....just like Isaac?"

Isaac's well story was my answer to prayer.  He modeled the idea of turning the other cheek, of walking away from conflict instead of engaging.  He chose peace when he could have chosen war, even when he was in the right.  I'm quite certain the wells were a test that God allowed him to go through, to test him, just like his father Abraham had to go through a test.  And, just like his father, he passed....with flying colours.  The very night he had chosen peace for the 3rd time, God showed up and said, "Well done!  I'm going to bless you!"  And just to confirm it, in a way, his greatest enemy approached him and said, "Uh....I'd like to forget about that whole moving you out thing and actually make a peace treaty with you????"  I told the boys...."CHOOSE PEACE AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU!  Don't you see?"  It was such a great example, such a good story for all of us to hear.

So, that's what I'm asking them to give up for Lent....war.  I'm asking them to really choose peace for the next 40 days (and every day after that), but to choose peace intentionally.  It was pretty funny, for the rest of the day they were syrupy sweet to one another as a kind of mock, but I didn't care, I'll take fake sweet and fake peace just so they'll start getting into the new habit.  I really think it is as simple as that...a bad habit.  They say it takes 30 days to start a new habit...well, I personally love the 40 days idea better as it is such a great Biblical number.

As I wrote this, one of the instigators just walked in like a cyclops, half-awake (that's one of his other goals for Lent...to wake up early every day...so far so good!)  The story of Isaac and the wells is also for me...this is clearly a test for me as much as it is for them.  I must help them choose peace and stay peaceful myself.  I need to continue to stay patient when I want to lose it on them all the time. Blessing comes after obedience often in the Bible.  The story ends beautifully, "And Isaac sent them on their way, and they departed from him in peace.  That same day, Isacc's servants came and told him about the well that they had dug and said to him, 'We have found water.'"  His enemies departed in peace and he found water.  That's my prayer for my boys that they will depart from one another in peace and find water.