God - The Vacation Planner

This year our 3 older children are gone to the worldview camp that our oldest went to 3 years ago. She's now a mentor for the second year in a row and loving her role.  She was so inspired by it that our next children wait anxiously to go each year.  I can still hardly believe how they embrace sitting in lectures for a whole week, but who am I to question it.  I think it is the fact they are around like-minded youth that don't have horns that keeps them coming back!  Knowing they aren't the only kids out there with a Christian worldview is such an encouragement to them, and to us, as parents.

The woman who started this camp is a mom, just like me.  She has 5 children (most of whom are now married and having children) and there was nothing in Canada like this for her kids to attend.  And, just like with the junior quizzing, she acted on the need and put things into place....voila!  A Christian worldview camp was created!  I guess that is how most things come about...necessity is the mother of invention?

It is still a full house though with ten kids, 3 borrowed from our "other" family!  I don't mind, the kids that are left behind feel like it's camp, too, just at home!  This is actually the wonderful part of how God works in my life.  He knows what all of us long for and somehow He always creatively gives us just what we need, not necessarily what we want all the time, but what we need.

RM and I continue to debate, and will probably always debate, the "need" I have for a vacation.  I grew up with vacations and I just assumed we would also regularly go on vacations.  This has not been the case and for a long time it was a real sore spot for me, especially when everyone and their dog was planning a vacation (I'm sure I've written about this before, but it's summer again, so it has come up again!)  But that was just not how he grew up and, for him, he sees vacations as an alright thing to do once in a while, but as a very expensive thing to do.  For most people it is a time to get away and be with their kids, but for us, we are with our children all the time, so we don't have the same need.  What to do then?

I decided I would no longer be a nagging wife.  I simply brought my "need" (are vacations really a need?) to the Lord and left it there.  Amazing things started to happen.  Over the last few summers, we have had the most amazing experiences - all here at home - on our property or nearby in this area. We've had people contact us out of the blue, sometimes people we don't even know, and they'll come and visit anywhere from a day to two weeks.  They'll be friends I haven't seen in years or missionaries from overseas or simply neighbours.  Every week of the summer holds a different experience and I never know what's coming.  That is the fun part.  It appears like I have a blank schedule on my calendar.  It appears like it is going to be the most boring summer every year, and yet, it never is.  My summer gets so full that I never accomplish all I had planned because of all the fun things that happen.  What people love about vacations is the change of pace, the change of location, etc.  For me, it's as if that all comes to me, here.  It's a change of pace, with new faces, new schedules, new conversations.  God somehow brings the "vacation feel" to me!

This summer it has been the summer of the pool.  Not our pool, as we don't have one, but of pools near us.  All sorts of friends have beautiful pools, amazing backyards, and they are bored!  They find that they have a pool, but they don't use it!  So they invite us!  We go!  No problem!  Our kids absolutely love visiting friends with pools, so that is a super fun way to stay cool, beat the heat and not spend money.

I've learned in this surrendering of my rights to a vacation that yes, vacations are awesome, but they aren't the be all and end all of life.  I've learned that there is a cost to having a vacation, both a literal one, (they always cost more than you think they will) as well as an emotional one (so much to think about and organize), and then a physical cost (getting the car ready, packing, getting animals cared for....).  With so many young children, it was never easy to get away when we did get away.  It turns out they never really knew that they were "supposed" to have a vacation, it was always me pushing for one. Now that the youngest is 5, perhaps we'll be able to consider a vacation in the future, but it hasn't been really necessary when there were so many babies for so long.

Now there is another month ahead with no real plans.  In the past that would have made me worried. Will my children have a good summer?  How will I keep them busy?  Will it be fun?  I don't worry anymore.  I now wake up with a sense of anticipation....what will happen today?  Who will call? Where will we go?  Who will we see?  On days where we are just home, I embrace it and try to accomplish as much as possible.  I've also discovered that as farmers, we really need to be home in the summer to do the hay, make sure the garden gets cared for, get projects done.  If we are going to go somewhere, summer isn't the time to do it.  Farmers generally vacation in the winter.  Now I get why.

Once I asked my husband, "Can we go to a cottage this summer?"  His answer, "Why?!  I bought you a farm!"  Not the answer I hoped for, but you know what....it's true!  I live on a vacation property in so many ways, I just forget.  In the summer, it is so beautiful here.  Everything is in bloom, the grass is green, the views are spectacular, the trees are full of leaves offering wonderful shade from the heat, the animals are out and about, the kids are everywhere, the garden is alive and well....The Lord regularly opens my eyes to show me the beauty that is around me.  I don't need to leave to be happy. That is the lie that Satan tried to tell me for years, "You'd be happier if you went on vacation like everyone else.  You poor thing, you don't get to go away."  This only bred a spirit of discontentment as well as well as resentment towards others who always went away.  Learning to be content is the key to warding off the enemy's attacks.  The blessings immediately follow.  When I'm a nagging, discontent wife, my husband is sad, depressed and feels inadequate..... because his wife (the one who is supposed to be his greatest support) makes him feel that way.  He's frustrated because he's feels he's never enough, never providing enough...his family is always wanting more....that is a bad place to be as a husband.

Now, if someone were to approach me and say, "I would like to offer you an all-expenses paid vacation in Hawaii!"  I would still take it, don't get me wrong!  I do love vacations! When we went away a couple of years ago to the Outer Banks, it was super fun!  Our kids were a little disappointed when we didn't go the next year.  But this is the other thing I've learned...vacations are great, but they don't have to be every year, all the time.  When they do go, it sure makes kids appreciate what they had and where they went, knowing it isn't an every year experience.  The memories of the vacation linger and they reflect fondly on them often.  If we did this every year, I think it would create a sense of entitlement, which is also something we are wary of.  I always think...what will my children's marriages be like?  What appetites am I building in them that their future spouses will not be very happy about?  Knowing we didn't have a lot of vacations will actually be a positive thing for their future spouses because my kids won't go in demanding they get regular vacations.  I think that is a good thing.

My attitude has slowly changed over the years.  This might be a little out there, but it helps me to think, "Did Jesus have a vacation?"  No.  He went away for relaxation and respite for sure, but not to an all-inclusive resort.  He went away to the mountains to pray and spend time with God.  I can do that here.  I'm pretty sure Abraham didn't get away too much either.  I'm guessing, if I did "vacation research", that is is a relatively new thing.  Our culture tells us we have to get away, why? From what?  I love my life here.  I would love to see other places just to appreciate God's creation for sure, and maybe one day I will, but for now, I don't have the same pressing need.  I think it is really important to evaluate why and how vacations have come about.  There are really good reasons to get away, but some really bad ones, too.  I just don't want to fall into the trap of planning one just because the world tells me I have to.  It always comes back to contentment in my life.  It always comes back to watching where conflict comes up in my marriage.  It's usually the same issues over and over.  RM knows what is important to me and tries his best to be all things to both me and the kids, but he also is really good and drawing the line and not spending just for the sake of making the kids and I stop whining about vacations.

My children will go into their future marriages with a good view of vacations I think.  Not expecting them necessarily, but happy if they work out.  I think that is the better way to be.