I Don't Want to be Called "Fool"

We were at a funeral this past week for the father of one of my friend's.  I made sure my oldest son was there as well as this man had become a mentor to him in his beekeeping.  This older man was a master beekeeper and had taught my son all that he could in the few short years we knew him.  He had also given him the skill of making candles from the bees' wax.  One year he (my son) took over candle making at a children's camp for this older gentlemen, the week his wife passed away, and even that now seems like such a privilege my son was given. 

You never know the time you have with someone could suddenly be cut short.  So we are grateful to have known him.  We discovered what a true servant this man was and how he had touched so many people through all the areas he served without ever seeking attention.  He had a Ph.D., but most people never knew that they should be calling him "Doctor".  Instead, most people could find him serving coffee at church or eating one of the pies he made for fundraisers or even eating his homemade bread.  Truly a humble man, so glad we had the chance to meet him.

We are now kicking it into high gear for a family reunion event that we are hosting in less than a couple of weeks.  I've vowed to keep my mouth shut and try not to nag my husband about all the things I wish we could have done in time for the day.  Ha, I even had one of my daughters pray for me that I would be quiet and stop "reminding" him of my never-ending list.  As opposed to this man I just wrote about, I am not quite as humble.  Not getting all the things done on my list, however, will humble me.  Instead of seeing a completely renovated house, they will see a house with no flooring, no trim, no walls, no paint.  Instead of a perfectly landscaped house, they will instead be navigating awkward stairs (or no stairs in some cases) and uneven terrain.  But, I've truly tried to let it go.  The whole point of a family reunion is to spend time with family, to reconnect, to meet new family members that we've never ever known.  My own kids don't even know who these people are!  I can still hope for a miracle, but if no miracle comes, I will be fine with the house as is.  I know one day it will be a little more completed!  Maybe it will never even be completely done!  That is fine, too. 

One of the things that keeps us from finishing everything is that we do it all ourselves.  That, of course, saves us a ton of money, but it also puts a lot of pressure on my husband who is not around much anymore.  And, there is this new distraction out my kitchen window, called "The Vineyard".  He's kind of preoccupied with it because if he loses the plants in this early stage it will be a huge loss, so I get it (the plants are actually doing great thanks to the big rain we got last week!).  But, even if we had him home full-time, there just isn't the extra money, in addition to the time, to fix everything up.  One area I had really hoped to spruce up was the front entry way.  I'm not even really sure what I had hoped to do there, but I knew it was where most of us would be hanging out eating (it'll be a pig roast/bbq). 

On the day I had asked my daughter to pray, I felt like I had truly finally released my "list".  That's when it hit me, I suddenly got all inspired and got my two boys to come with me into the barn.  I found 3 old barrels and had them roll them out to me one at a time.  They weren't in the best of shape, but I kind of liked the vintage/barn/dirty look!  Then, just like when I decorated my other patio on the side of my house, I started to look around and more and more things jumped out at me.  I started to arrange them at the front of the house and placed the barrels on either side of the cement patio and added more and more objects surrounding the barrels that I picked out of the barn like bushel baskets for fruit, wine crates, fruit presses, and barrel rings that had fallen off the barrels.  Suddenly, I had a nice little arrangement at the front of the house that spruced it up and made it quaint and once again, for free.  I kind of laughed at myself.  I walked out all the kids one at a time and made them look at it and told them to tell me how great it looked.  They did!  Is it coincidence that it all came together on that day?  I suppose.  It could be.  I'd like to think I was "Holy Spirit Inspired" and that it was a gift to me, a reminder that releasing my desires is always followed by blessing.  Another person might not have seen that as a blessing, but to me it was huge!  It made me love my little entryway!

But back to my big list and all the other things I wanted done in time for the reunion.  I had been getting quite upset that my stuff wasn't getting done.  Last week I read in Luke 12 about the "Rich Fool".  Jesus had warned the crowd, "Take care and be on your guard against all covetousness, for ONE'S LIFE DOES NOT CONSIST IN THE ABUNDANCE OF HIS POSSESSIONS." 

Then Jesus told the story of the rich man who literally renovated his property to fit more stuff.  He thought to himself if he just renovated than he would be happy (my paraphrase!)  Ironically, he lived on a farm and had crops just like we do!  But God said to him (and this is where is stings), "Fool!  This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?  So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God."  Ouch. 

Lots of phrases jumped out at me when I read that passage.  First of all "take care".  I really have to be care-FULL.  Careful about my motivations.  Why do I want more stuff?  Why do I want my list truly done?  For me?  I think it is ok to be good stewards of our things and get things in order around the house, but I have to keep my heart in check.  I also have to be "on guard".  The enemy is always trying to woo me into believing "if I just have this or get that or finish this then I will be happy".  It is a form of covetousness for sure, because my ideas probably came from some magazine or driving by someone's house.  I don't even know half the time where my crazy thoughts come from!  "ALL COVETOUSNESS".  Hmmmm....all covetousness....I asked the kids what they thought that meant and my daughter said, "It's when you're jealous of what someone else has."  Yup, that's pretty much it.  I just want what I don't have and I saw someone else have what I want.  So pathetic!!!

"One's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."  What does my life consist of then?  The souls around me, not my stuff.  I'm supposed to be "rich toward God", not towards my temporal goods.  I couldn't believe the wording, "and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?"  The things I have prepared.....It was almost like the Bible said, "And the things you want prepared for the reunion, whose will they be?  Will they matter?  In the big picture?  Really?"  No. 

Does this mean I don't want to prepare anymore or that I should just sit around and let my place fall apart?  No.  Does it mean I can't enjoy my new little entryway look?  No, I still love it.  Can I still get more done?  Yes, I'm still going to prepare.  I'm still going to make it look as good as I can within reason, but I am going to "be careful" and "be on guard" that I don't ignore the souls around me in the name of getting my place ready.   I'm going to be more intentional about identifying the lies that come into my head that always lead to discontentment.  It's always a heart issue isn't it?  Everything is.  So that was when I had the kids pray for me.  I confessed out loud, all these things to the kids. That was when I had my daughter pray about not being a nagging wife.  I told them what my struggle was.  They don't seem to notice or mind the messy undone house.  It actually helps me keep things in perspective.  I need their eyes.

I don't want to be called "fool".