Opening and Closing Doors

We have entered a very new and unexpected stage of life - bridal shower season.  My oldest daughter's friends are now getting married and I am now hosting bridal showers as she is one of the bridesmaids.   I actually love it.  In the case of the wedding coming up in May, I had the privilege of being in on the "interview" of the spouse-to-be.  My friend and I both sat him down at a campfire a couple summers ago and we grilled him for at least 15 minutes, she on one side and me on the other.  We were doing it kind of in jest, to make him nervous, but to our delight, though the wife-to-be was mortified, he handled it really well and answered all our questions.  We wanted to know how he had gotten saved, his family life, his future goals, his strengths, his weaknesses.  It was funny, but we were somewhat serious.  After that, my friend and I gave him two thumbs up.  He had passed.  So in honour of him passing the test, I am now hosting a bridal shower for his fiance!

A natural question for my daughter is, "Will I always be a bridesmaid and never a bride?!"  I was in at least 7 weddings before I got married, so there is a chance that could happen to her, but I somehow doubt it.  I, too, wondered if I would ever get married.  It seemed like everyone around me was getting married.  I had all the same concerns  - it seemed then, as now, there were tons of capable women, but few godly men.  We interview my son all the time as he's involved with the Christian group on campus, "Any good guys there?"  His comment is often, "Well, they're good guys, but....."  No one is jumping out at him as a future spouse.

But I've received great encouragement in this area recently from 1 Cor. 16 where Paul uses a series of phrases that really stood out at me,

"I will visit you after passing through Macedonia and perhaps I will stay with you or even spend the winter, so that you may help me on my journey, wherever I go.  For I do not want to see you now just in passing.  I hope to spend some time with you, if the Lord permits.  But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me and there are many adversaries...Now concerning our brother Apollos, I strongly urged him to visit you with the other brothers, but it was not at all his will to come now.  He will come when he has opportunity.  Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love."

A strange series of verses, for sure, not really related to children getting married, but what I noticed is that all throughout that passage there are phrases that spoke to me about how we may plan things or hope for things to come, like future spouses for our children even, but it is always, "if the Lord permits" as it says above.  Paul says things like, "I hope to spend some time with you," but he has no idea if that will actually happen.  He makes the plans, but it is only if the Lord allows it.  He also uses the phrase, "for a wide door for effective work has opened to me".  This phrase is one of my favourite as God does this all the time in my life - He opens and closes doors and sometimes they are like a "wide door", so clearly meant for me to walk through.  My son has made plans to go to Africa this Fall and all things were going smoothly, but as of last week, it seems the "wide door for effective work" has been closed.  They aren't looking for medical students, they want medical doctors.  He isn't one yet, so for now, at least temporarily, the door is shut.  However, what I love about this verse is that the implication is that God shut it.  He did not permit things to happen, though my son had hoped this would be the path, it doesn't appear that it is at least not yet.  Tonight, however, could change things, we'll see.  We're going to a missionary banquet where we will meet the son of the man who started the hospital he was going to work at.  He is the guest speaker at the banquet.  Maybe he'll get a chance to meet the doctor and then he'll say, "Of course we want you!"  or maybe he'll say, "Yeah, sorry, no opportunities this year."  But when you read verses like the ones in chapter 16, you can confidently know God has this all worked out.  This includes spouses for my children.  There have been times where we thought we had potentially met someone that could have been in her life, but again, doors close.  The Lord did not "permit".  At one point Apollo did not come when Paul first thought, "He will come when he has the opportunity" - God will bring someone into her life when He wills, when everything is right for that person to come into her life.  The last verse sums up what we are to do in the meantime, "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men (and strong women), be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love."  It doesn't seem connected to the verses before it, but I think they are exactly connected because of the short little phrase, "there are many adversaries".  We will make plans, hope, do effective ministry, but there is an enemy trying to undo it all, so while my son is making future plans for more schooling and my daughter is hopeful for a future spouse also in the midst of finishing her schooling, they must both "be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men (and godly women), be strong" and let all that they do "be done in love", around the house, with their siblings, with us as their parents - it's all the training ground.