I slowly but surely have moved into the book of Ruth. I could never be one of those people who read the Bible in a year. Not because I don't try to read every day, but because I'll often sit in a book, a verse, or a chapter for a really long time, just reading a few verses at a time, never a prescribed reading plan. But I get so much more out of Scripture this way.
I never know what will be revealed to me, but as I started reading this short book I was amazed at all that I have learned that I never would have learned had I read this a few years ago. It starts off sad as Naomi loses her husband and then ten years later loses her sons, too. Ten years is an interesting number. I've come across that number a few times in the last few weeks - it's been ten years since we moved into this farmhouse, it's been ten years since our church got started, and we are currently in a series at church in Philippians that followed a church that was around for about ten years. And then, in ten years all those sad things happened to Naomi and her daughters-in-law. I started to pay attention a little more to the storyline in the book just because of that.
In our church so many new things are happening that are so good - though we lost several pastors, so many new things are happening, including a new senior pastor, a new young adults/youth pastor (my future son-in-law!), new worship teams rising up because of the lack of a worship pastor, new ministries (including Bible Quizzing with other church families that we are heading up)....it feels like we are on the verge of something new and exciting and it is fun to be a part of.
In our life, we have had a full ten years, babies have been born, children have been raised and are starting to get launched, houses have been continually renovated (though that has stopped for several years because of other new things that have started!), new businesses have begun - yet it has been hard - could we possibly be on the verge of new things, too? Is it possible that a time of peace is coming after so many years of "hard"? Or is it possible that maybe it isn't going to change, but we'll just be better prepared for the next ten years of "hard"? I hate to get my expectations up, however, hope is the cornerstone of our faith so I do hope, not for a life of ease, even Scripture says that isn't going to ever happen this side of heaven and that we shouldn't be surprised by our trials...but, I do still hope - just in general - for whatever hope brings.
As the story goes, Naomi gave her in-laws the option to stay or go and one stayed and one left. Ruth stuck with her and they decided to go back to Bethlehem where Naomi was originally from. As she enters town the women start talking wondering if it is her and ask, "Is this Naomi?" But she answered them, “Do not call me Naomi;[a] call me Mara,[b] for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” I had never noticed this before, how incredibly miserable Naomi was and I'm not sure if it's because I'm a "cup is half full" kind of person, but it seemed a little "I'm feeling sorry for myself" kind of reaction. I know it is never nice to try and tell a depressed person, "You have so many reasons to be grateful!" when they are down. However, I don't think it is healthy to stay in a depressed state. There are some who kind of seem to enjoy the pity they get from others. I'm not sure if this is the case with Naomi, but she certainly made it clear her life was hard. She mentions it over and over in different ways.
"Call me Mara", she says, which right away tells you something - I'm bitter - the literal meaning of her name. She changes her name so everyone knows how miserable she is, or literally bitter. We are not supposed to let bitterness take root in our lives, yet this is exactly what she does. Next she says, "the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me". So if you didn't know the meaning of her name, now you do. She almost seems mad. God did this to me. But just in case you missed that she says, "I went away full, and the Almighty has brought calamity on me". Yes, she experienced loss, no one can deny that, but is she as empty as she thinks? She has Ruth! Her own daughter-in-law chose to stay with her and said, "For where you will I go I will go and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die and there I will be buried." That is commitment! Naomi is not empty! Naomi also traveled back to her hometown where no doubt old friends lived and even some family, including Boaz. She was back where she was comfortable, but her bitterness wouldn't allow her to see that. She says another time, still going on about her awful life, "the Lord has testified against me AND the Almighty has brought calamity upon me" - she just won't stop. I'm sure there were women in Bethlehem listening to her and they were also thinking, "I also lost a husband" or "we've also suffered", or "you aren't the only one who has had a hard time". Isn't that just life sometimes? But when you are in a place of bitterness, that's how it goes, you can only see bitterness. It's nearly impossible to see any good and this is where Naomi is, though she has so much to be grateful for, she can't see it.
There's a funny movie the kids like called Meet the Robinsons. This movie is so interesting as there is a character who experiences a traumatic event (missing an important catch in a baseball game!) and he blames his scientific roommate who kept him up all night the night before the game doing an experiment. He becomes bitter about this his whole life and when he retells the story later on in the movie he says how everyone "hated me" in school growing up, but in the actual real life scene, it shows all the kids not saying that at all, but instead they were saying, "Hey! Want to come over today?" or "I really like your new binder!" But he was so tainted by bitterness that he heard, "We hate you!" when they never said that at all! I kind of see this in Naomi - so tainted by bitterness towards, I can only assume God, that she can no longer see any of the good in her life. Big warning to me and anyone else about the dangers of bitterness.
YET.....God is amazing and doesn't let her stay in that place and this is where the grace of God doesn't give us what we deserve - ever. He blessed her despite her bitterness and was kind to her, turning her very dark time into an incredible love story. One of the best parts of this book that I had never paid attention to before were the words, "And they came to Bethelehem at the beginning of barley harvest". This meant more to me than ever before as I knew it meant she had miraculously arrived at at time of provision. She would be able to have food because people were harvesting! I know what that means! And, miraculously, it meant Ruth would be able to work and make some income for them or at least they would have some form of provision. This is amazing and would have been lost on me any other time I've read it.
There are many more lessons from Ruth - but to start - it seems bitterness is a common problem with women so the warning is obvious to not let bitterness take root. As an outsider, I was easily and quickly able to see without even thinking too much about it all the good things in Naomi's life, so a quick note to myself was to try to do the same. Treat myself as an outsider looking in at my life and instead of seeing all the things that are wrong with it and all the things that bother me, try to look at my life and quickly see all the good, as there is so much good. It is a reminder of how easy it is to see the negative. I've been thinking about the phrase, "Call me Mara" - she's basically walking around saying "Call me Angry, Bitter Lady". I don't want that to be what I do, but sometimes I do it subtly in a passive way, complaining to whoever will hear me. In a way that is exactly what I'm doing. I'm basically saying, "Call me Mara!" That is bad and a pattern I don't want my girls, or my sons, to fall into.
Poor Naomi. I didn't mean to make a lesson out of her sad life. She probably wouldn't appreciate that too much, but I'm at least grateful for her honesty. She didn't pretend life was perfect. She said it like it was - hard. I think that is ok to be honest. My life is hard sometimes. Not really compared to most women. I have it pretty good, pretty great in fact! But to me, sometimes it appears hard. I think I can be honest that it isn't a walk in the park, but I think the wrong thing is to go on and on about that and to only complain instead of looking, or at least trying, to see the positives. I'm sure that is why God allowed this story to be in the Bible - just for all of us women who tend to sit there in our negative, complaining puddles, enjoying the pitiful thoughts, succumbing to them again and again. This book is a wake up call to stop them as soon as they start.
Here's a silly example, that make this super practical for me -
My dishwasher is broken - bitter feelings start......OR....I thank God for the opportunity to teach my kids what most people in the world do - wash dishes by hand! We have a source of hot water! A beautiful view to look at! Work ethic being taught! Food to eat that made the dishes dirty! It's way easier to think of the list of things of positives...I've seen how my bitterness is poison to the whole family, particularly my husband. He wants to move to the corner of a rooftop when I'm bitter. So I'm learning the way of Naomi, who was probably a happier person than Mara. I just have to decide each day who I want to be.
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