A Sign Over My Head and Heading to Cali

I must have a sign over my head.  I'm guessing it reads something like this, "Come talk to me if you have kids or if you want to talk about being a mom or if you want to talk about homeschooling or if you want to talk about anything related to any of those things because I love talking about those things."  It just keeps happening to me and I love it soooo much!

This past weekend I was at a ladies' conference at our church.  At the end of one of the talks a young mom came up to me and smiled and because I thought I should know her I smiled back like we were long lost friends and asked, "Remind me how I know you?"  and she said, "You don't!"  She went on to explain how she had heard me speak at the homeschool conference and how it had encouraged her, which is great, because that was the name of the talk, and so we had a great conversation and are planning to connect after the wedding.  The next day, same thing, this time a mom I did know, but I didn't know she had been at the conference.  We, also had a great conversation and she will also come over after the wedding.  Then the next day, I was at church and another mom came over to me.  This time I just assumed she had heard me at the conference, but she hadn't as she just has small children and she introduced herself and said her name and then said, "I know you don't know me but would you be interested in getting together to talk about motherhood?"  I laughed out loud, "Of course!"  I told her, "I must have a sign above my head that says how I love talking about those things."  She had just read a book about being a productive mom and how you need to seek out the older moms in the church and talk to them.  Jen Wilkin had also said that at the conference how we need to be church moms, not just rely on her for our teaching.  This is something I've always thought so was so glad she had said that.  I want to be a church mom and not because I have it all together, but because I remember what it was like when I was younger and looking for wisdom.  No one was offering, I had to seek it out, so I want to make that available to other moms who might be struggling.  

Then yesterday I was on a hike with the co-op I'm involved with and I suddenly saw a mom I had met at a park literally a year ago today.  I couldn't believe how I was running into her again.  When I had met her a year ago I had been out with my two youngest boys at a lake and she and I just starting chatting as she had a little girl.  Who knows how, but the subject of homeschooling came up, probably because she couldn't understand how I could be out with my boys in the middle of the day.  She had always wondered about homeschooling, but wasn't sure about it and had lots of questions.  After that we exchanged information, but didn't really connect much.  When I saw her yesterday I was shocked to find out she was now homeschooling!  Apparently after our chat it gave her the courage to go for it!  You just never know how you'll impact someone without even realizing it!  We talked some more yesterday and she found out about the Classical Conversations co-op I'm in and well, the rest is history - she's ready to sign up!  So funny.  

You know you are doing what you should be doing when weeks like this one happen.  It is so fun for me to chat with other moms.  Nothing could feel more meaningful or fulfilling than that.  It makes all those years with the young children worth it as I can share some of my experiences with these other moms.  I saw another young mom with 4 children under 5 or 6 yesterday and I felt tired just watching her.  I wanted to tell her to keep going, to hang in there, to not worry, that she'll make it....if I could do that full-time I would.  I often pray that God will use me and that He'll give me opportunities, but then I forget I've prayed that and then days like these happen and later that day I'll just sit back in awe of what God has just orchestrated that I could never have done.  So amazing.

We are now only 10 days away from the big day.  What a test for me as I wait for the last minute stuff to be done.  So hard for me to trust and keep my mouth shut.  All of it is on my husband's shoulders.  I can do laundry and meal planning but not much else as everything else requires him to be involved.  I can pray and that's about it.

Meanwhile, in other completely unrelated events.....my son just found out he's going to California! He submitted a video of all his crazy flips and twists on the trampoline and he got in!  I CANNOT BELIEVE IT and neither can he.  He is completely self-taught and has never attended a gymnastics class in his life.  He has never been to an editing class either and somehow learned how to put all that together to make the great video.  I'm so impressed.  As Providence would have it, my husband and mother-in-law needed to go out west to California anyway to see his uncle, so it all works out and now that my husband is retired, he can basically do whatever he wants, so off he'll go with my son to the two-day competition in San Diego and then hang out with his uncle for a few days, maybe even check out a few sights while he's out there.  How cool is that?!  He's so excited.  We all are as my son has had a rough go with covid and has felt down a lot with the isolation and lack of friendships during that really critical time of his life.  Yet, he used the trampoline to get him outside nearly every day and he started connecting with another friend nearby who is also going to the competition.  Then he started working out with his brother and he had determined to overcome his weaknesses.  As we prayed and prayed for this young man, God was faithful.  He stuck with Bible quizzing, even though it wasn't "cool".  He memorized more than anyone on the team, this included all of Romans and James this past year.  He forced himself to make friends at the last quiz meet, even though that is very difficult for him.  He stayed faithful with the animals on the farm.  This is such a testimony to the power of prayer.  At the last quiz meet he got an award called "perfect day" and it really was.  Perfect day meant he didn't get a single answer wrong all day and got the highest marks you can get.  Only 3 out of 100 were awarded that award that day.  So great for him and reminds him how his diligence was rewarded.  He got in on the Friday, same day as the quiz meet and won the award the next day, so I would definitely call it a "Perfect Day/Weekend"!  All of us were praying for that miracle and I'm just so grateful to God for allowing him that blessing.  The only thing that could make it better would be if I could go, but alas, that is not in the works.  Again, I write all this down because it is soooooo great to look back and read these stories later.  I just love how God met my son right where he is at - flipping and quizzing.  I've always said, God speaks to us in our language.  I hope my son will always remember this.

The Sound of Marching in the Trees

I wrote this post a week and a half ago.....I couldn't post until it happened, but it has happened, so read to the end and then I've added a post script...

Tomorrow our life is going to change AGAIN.  But it's all good, in fact, it is SO great.  For weeks now, possibly months, we've been sensing life at the college isn't ideal.  A restlessness developed for both of us.  Restlessness in us generally means we are about to be moved.  This has happened time and time again when we're just about to move, either from a house we love or a church where we're comfortable.  This has been going on at the college for awhile now.  But what kept us from leaving was the nice and steady pay cheque.  Who would give that up?  Only someone who is super dumb OR someone who is getting a sense that if they stay it's borderline dangerous.  As the college's dangerous protocols develop, as they're metrics get changed, RM was starting to get more and more uncomfortable.  He knew he was working for Pharoah before, but it was becoming more and more obvious how enslaved he would be if he stayed.  

For weeks now, he has been fasting 2 whole days a week.  I was fasting one.  As we fasted, we cried out, just like the Israelites did, begging God to show us what to do.  Were we supposed to leave?  There was no way.  Yet we prayed and cried out more just as the Israelites did, "During those days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help.  Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God.  And God heard their groaning and God remembered the covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.  God saw the people of Israel  - and God knew."  What a FANTASTIC passage - it fully describes how we'd been feeling.  YET, leaving the college was never in the plan.  We knew that would be foolish.  Yet every single week, at every meeting he attended, it got worse and worse what he was expected to do.  In addition to this, just like the Israelites, they took away his "straw" and asked him to make more "bricks" and faster when they took away his teaching income.   They saw it as hindering his other job and even though he was handling both jobs just fine, they didn't care.  This was the beginning of the tipping point.  Then they had another meeting, (in fact, all they do is have meetings which means he can never do his job as he's always in a meeting) and in that meeting what they discussed confirmed for him he was done.  I could literally replace the names in the following passage with names of RM's colleagues and it would read the exact same way:  "That same day Pharaoh gave this order to the slave drivers and overseers in charge of the people: 7 “You are no longer to supply the people with straw for making bricks; let them go and gather their own straw. 8 But require them to make the same number of bricks as before; don’t reduce the quota. They are lazy; that is why they are crying out, ‘Let us go and sacrifice to our God.’ 9 Make the work harder for the people so that they keep working and pay no attention to lies.” 10 Then the slave drivers and the overseers went out and said to the people, “This is what Pharaoh says: ‘I will not give you any more straw. 11 Go and get your own straw wherever you can find it, but your work will not be reduced at all.’” 12 So the people scattered all over Egypt to gather stubble to use for straw. 13 The slave drivers kept pressing them, saying, “Complete the work required of you for each day, just as when you had straw.” 14 And Pharaoh’s slave drivers beat the Israelite overseers they had appointed, demanding, “Why haven’t you met your quota of bricks yesterday or today, as before?”  Just reading that passage again confirms why we have to leave.

We read an amazing verse that week, 2 Samuel 5:24 which said, "As soon as you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the poplar trees, move quickly, because that will mean the Lord has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army.”  David had been inquiring of the Lord what He should do.  The first time earlier on in the chapter, God said, "Go.  You'll win."  The second time, He said, "Do not go straight up, but circle around behind them..." Then he added the part about how they would know when to go.....when you "hear the sound of marching in the tops of the poplar trees".  That day after we had read the verse together in the morning, as we both fasted all day, I kept thinking to myself, "what is the sound of marching for us?  How will we know when to leave?"  But as I walked the property that day, it occurred to me - it's our land crying out!  Our land is telling us, in a way, the sound of marching in the trees, you can make enough money off the land to leave.  But in other jobs we had had another contract in the wings to give us the confidence to leave, this time we didn't.....or did we?  Yes, we did!  We had a whole winery full of wine just waiting to be sold but no time to sell it!  If we were working exclusively on the winery sales, we could make it.  Then it also occurred to us we had so many other income sources from our last year, that we could also pursue, but we just needed the time, if we quit, then we could pursue those other sources and it would be great!  PLUS, add in what I talked about at the conference I spoke at - the purpose of marriage is to raise "godly offspring", Malachi 2:15 - if RM came home he could focus on the younger four as he hadn't been able to as he wanted to being so busy with the farm, with work, with everything on his plate.  Oh man, it was soooo obvious all of a sudden - we wanted to run and quit right away.  If he were home, we would be able to have him around, which we'd been praying for for so long, never thinking it could happen.  He'd be happier as he could pursue his many interests that were all income producing.  It was so great.  We talked and talked and talked so excited about the future.

But, his decision will not be popular with his colleagues and we understand that it will not make sense to them, but then we think about our family and we realize we fear God more than we fear man.  This will give my husband such a wonderful last month with his daughter before she leaves for good.  It will give him a wonderful summer with his growing sons and daughters still at home under his discipleship.  It will give him joy and peace and less stress even though it will be a lot of work.  He'll be leaving Egypt behind and that makes all the new stress good stress if that makes sense.  He knows there is a faith aspect - but it's like when the Israelites stood at the Red Sea, Moses told them, " Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 15 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16 Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground."  That's it - they only needed to stand still, so do we.  We need not be afraid, but instead bravely step into the water and it will split.  God will fight for us.  

I'm actually quite convinced we are doing this so our kids will know what to do one day when they are in a similar situation where they don't know what to do.  There's another passage in Joshua where the Israelites again have to pass through water, the Jordan River, and they haven't gone this way before.  Joshua said to the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” And the Lord said to Joshua, “Today I will begin to exalt you in the eyes of all Israel, so they may know that I am with you as I was with Moses.  Joshua said to the Israelites, “Come here and listen to the words of the Lord your God. 10 This is how you will know that the living God is among you and that he will certainly drive out before you the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites and Jebusites."  I am quite convinced RM will be "exalted" like Joshua was, just to show the kids God is with him, just like He will be with the kids.  God is going to do amazing things among us because He is THE LIVING GOD!  What a great description!

We don't know what's going to happen, but we say just like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, "God will save us, but even if He doesn't, we still won't bow down."  We're done.  We're done serving Pharoah.  We know that God 100% gave us this job at the time that we needed it, but we also see that our time is up.  It is so clear and obvious.  However, if we are completely nuts and we don't make a cent and we find ourselves in serious trouble, I did see a sign that Mcdonald's was hiring full-time, so I know he'll be able to get work if our move is a disaster, but evenso, we won't go back to Egypt, we'll get a job somewhere else.  

Now, even though he hasn't quit yet, we are acting like he has.  We went for a quick trip to the lake on a whim last night with the younger 4.  RM doesn't do that - he never has time, always too much going on.  I was so happy to have him with us.  I didn't realize I'd become a single mom over the last few years.  How great to work and play alongside one another again.  We, in one sense, are now semi-retiring, not because we aren't working, oh we'll be working, but it'll be doing the kind of work you LOVE and where it doesn't feel like work, yet you make an income.  So exciting.  Now I sit back and wait to see how this all unfolds.

P.S. - Well, it happened!  He quit a few days after the original planned day, last Friday morning.  It was the best day ever!  We weren't sure how his boss would receive the news, but they talked yesterday and all is well.  He gets two weeks holidays right before the wedding starting on Friday and it is going to feel like freedom!  In fact, he is already feeling the freedom.  The weight has been lifted and he's already spending more time with each child, enjoying each of them more, just loving the blessing of being with them and truly being awake and in tune with them in a way he couldn't before.  It's just such a miracle I can hardly believe it.  Each morning I start my day off praying for my husband.  I've prayed for this kind of miracle, but never thought it would be possible.  I'm so grateful.

Meanwhile, more miracles have taken place - my brother and sister-in-law, along with my parents, are moving closer to us, only 15 minutes away!  This means they both have to sell their places fast which means we are over there as much as possible helping them out as they have so much to do to get their place selling ready.  It's a blessing to be able to do that and help them so they aren't doing it all themselves.  It's coming together quickly, so hopefully it'll be listed in less than 2 weeks, Lord willing.  My other sister is also moving and selling in the US as they also took on a new job!  So our family has 3 families moving and selling and 4 husbands with new jobs/careers, a new baby coming in October (my sister in law!), a wedding in two weeks.....I'd say that a LOT is going on in our family right now.  But my favourite verse right now is "The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I came that they might have life and have it to the full."  I would say that is what we're experiencing, a full and abundant life, to the full.  I refuse to let the thief try to steal, kill and destroy my joy which can happen when I think about what is left to do to prepare for the wedding and for the house being listed....

To top it off, our pastor couldn't have known we were quitting our job the week before his sermon, but as providence would have it, our pastor spoke on provision on Sunday and how we can trust God with everything we need.  We have no provision right now, except by faith.  Yet since we quit, we've sold several cases of wine and we've had multiple hay sales, so it's been wonderful to see how God just keeps showing up and letting us know He will take care of us.

Bridal showers, Conferences, Decorating and Mother's Day

After taking more than a month off I'm back at it.  Most mornings, instead of blogging, I was writing the talk for OCHEC.  It took me longer than usual because I had so much to say and I wanted it to come across as good as possible.  I fully credit the training I got in the Classical Conversations classes for helping me to fine tune it.  I wrote everything in light of how I had been teaching the kids to write their essays.  I think that is so great!  I'm so glad I didn't say no to doing the talk despite the obvious conflict in schedule - hosting a bridal shower as well on the same day....AND my niece showed up the week of unbeknownst to my daughters - we packed in a full weekend that is for sure.  It all went so well and I loved every minute of it.  As my husband put it, "It was the best Paula day ever!" For sure....

I get to do the same talk in a couple of weeks and I can't wait.  There are also 2 more showers to go to and that'll be easy as I'm not hosting.  I just get to sit back and enjoy.  Our CC classes are now over, too, so I'm just going to finish off math, some memorizing, some printing, some gardening and the vines, of course.  My house is cleaner than it's ever been (and decorated, which I'm leaving up for the whole wedding vibe!), so I don't even have to do that, so I'm happy.  I feel I can just sit back and enjoy the whole last month before my daughter gets married.

I had so many people praying for me the last few weeks.  I had no idea how I was going to do it all, pay for it all, decorate my old and rundown house, prep for the talk, homeschool my kids....there was a day there when I was certain it would all be a disaster.  I quickly sent out a prayer request marco to my family and I had people praying whenever anyone texted - I would say PRAY!  Within seconds of sending the polo a genius idea came to me to ask a friend of mind to help.  I had just been at her house cleaning as she was listing her place and called on a bunch of us to help.  I had no time to go, I don't love cleaning, but I felt it was the right thing to do, so off I went.  So when I reached out to her she didn't mind at all as I had literally just been helping her!  Love the sisterhood thing!  Her house has a similar rustic decor scheme as mine and she also has an uncanny ability to see things I can't see in terms of set up, etc.  So she and I moved everything around so the flow would work for the shower.  She even moved things I've hated looking at for years like the giant aquarium and gecko cage that have made my house look so junky with all the wires.  She said, "Can we move this?"  Next thing you know, gone.  I was so happy!  I'm keeping my place less cluttered for sure.  I'm loving it.  

I had also reached out to another super amazing decorating friend who makes everything look incredible at all our homeschool graduations.  She turns ugly church gyms into amazingly decorated facilities with such simple ideas that transform the whole room.  I begged her to help me, but she was away, but she agreed to chat with me on the phone.  She helped me think about stations and doing little touches that I loved.  Her most helpful advice was when I asked her point blank, "How do I get over my pride?  How do I stop worrying about my ugly floors?  How do I stop feeling embarrassed about my worn out couches?  My unpainted walls?"  She said, "Stop right there.  You are listening to lies (I knew this, but needed to hear it).  If people notice it they'll see it's good that you don't go ahead and renovate until you have the money, that you are frugal and wise."  Wow.  She helped remind me that I was worrying over nothing of course and I knew it, but was glad for the reminder.  She promised to pray.

The week before I was walking around the barn with RM and we were cleaning a few things up when he pointed out some landscape netting that I hadn't known we still had.  It was white and unused and was basically just like tulle but FREE and was EXACTLY what I was looking for.  I couldn't believe it.  I went NUTS with it, ALL over the house.  Then, right around that time I got this idea online for setting up "vignettes" of things, like old books, or wine crates, etc., all around the house.  That was when I thought I'll use all my wedding paraphernalia!  I had my dress, my veil, my bridesmaid dress, my krinolin,....it was perfect!  I had a corner for each item and it all looked soooo good!  Then I put the netting literally everywhere, with fairy lights also everywhere, added some balloons and it looked amazing!  I borrowed chairs, mugs and glasses from another classical conversations friend who had tons because they bought a church and turned it into a house!  They have all the old church dishes and chairs - so great!  When people walked in they didn't see the unpainted walls and unfinished floors, they just saw a beautifully decorated room that screamed WEDDING!  I was so happy with how it all turned out.  It was just perfect and it felt like God was with me all day, all week, giving me idea after idea.  The food really stressed me out.  I wanted to cater it, but found out it was going to be over $1000.  But then these ideas kept popping into my head - egg casserole, cinnamon buns, yogurt parfaits, fruit kebobs, meat and cheese platter and that was it!  I could make all of that ahead of time, freeze and it would literally be finished the week before.  So that's what I did - it worked out so great.  I ordered fruit kebobs because that was the same price as making it myself and they turned out so great.  I didn't have to make anything the morning of, the girls just had to put it all together and my sister coordinated it all by being here early.  It was an AWESOME coordinated effort!  I felt the whole day was just blessed by God right down to the words spoken to my daughter by our good friend - so incredible.  Extra cash showed up with some hay sales and that helped pay for last minute stuff - cool!  Does God care about bridal showers?  Maybe not, but He cares about me and He showed up and showed up and showed up. 

As I looked around the room that day I was in awe of how we had a new church family.  I didn't think that would ever happen again.  I had people in the room who I never thought would be in my house, but they were there.  God even has my daughter marrying one of the pastors at our church so that has hilariously helped us be involved more than we ever would have on our own.  I think that proves God has a sense of humour.  I just know we needed a kick start to get more involved and He has helped us in such a unique way!  I'M SO GRATEFUL.  My niece even got to sing at youth this past week with my daughter - so incredible!!

The weekend ended off perfectly with one final Mother's Day brunch at the golf club where we ate till our faces were full and then hung out for a nice long time on the patio.  So great.  My son then went off with RM to get his new BMW (well, not new, but new to him and he loves it!).  It was a nice low key day.   What a weekend to remember.  I guess it's good that those kinds of weekends aren't every weekend, though I would secretly love it.  However, being only 4 weeks away, every weekend is spoken for, so for now every weekend IS kind of like this.  After June 10 life will calm down.  Well, who am I kidding, it probably won't.