Lessons from the Vines

A lot has gone on this week as we've gone the full circle now.  We had two good days to pick our Baco Noir grapes before the rain came this week.  It required the whole family, including RM's parents and our crew we've been hiring throughout this past year.  It was actually the most beautiful day weather-wise.  The sun was warm, the breeze was amazing and the Fall sounds of the birds still around were so beautiful.  We were all having an amazing time.  I knew people were praying for us and I could tell because everyone's spirits were good and all attitudes were in check - not too much grumping even from those who typically resist all the hard work.

RM was in charge of the whole process and he did an amazing job.  From basically dawn until dusk he was picking up bins of grapes that we would fill in the vineyard  - all hand-picked, I might add - he'd scoot down in the gator, which he remarkably got going after a summer of sitting quiet from a dead battery (I was so glad that was an easy fix), throw the bins of grapes in the back, sometimes as many as 16 bins at a time.  Then, he would go and dump them in another huge 1/2 ton bin and go back and repeat the process all day, always replacing our need for empty bins in the vineyard.  It was an amazing process.

The whole time he was doing that, he was also managing another vineyard we farm down the street, doing the same thing there - so he was back and forth between the two vineyards as both vineyards were being picked at the same time.

As if that wasn't enough, when all the grapes were picked in the Bacos, we had to keep going....they needed to be immediately destemmed and the crushed grapes/juice had to quickly be transferred into waiting vats.   That meant a lot of work for two of my boys who are thankfully sooooo strong.  They would take huge pails of grapes and pour them into the destemming machine, one after another countless times.  My one son came down yesterday and described how sore his shoulders were after doing that over and over!  But were we ever grateful for their strength as it saved RM from all of that allowing him to manage the process instead of killing himself with the heavy lifting.  Even the 11 year old got involved as his job was to remove the bins of empty stems, dumping those bins in the compost pile - what a great job for him.  By 7:30 pm we had all the bins of grapes, nearly 3 tons of them, all destemmed and in the vats, waiting to turn into wine.  It was an amazing experience to reflect on what had just happened - from plants 3 years ago, to picking the grapes that we never thought we'd see, to processing them - all in one day.

As we continued to reflect, we were in awe of all that God had done that day.  RM's parents were involved this week which seems like a nice thing as they knew we needed the help and we did, but there was a much greater thing going on.  We started to appreciate our vines so much more when we realized as much as they were helping us, the vines were helping them!  After RM's dad's stroke, he just hasn't been the same.  He's been much slower, harder to get his thoughts out, a little more frustrated with his inability to communicate quickly, bored easily as he's limited in his what he can do, etc.  The vines changed all that.  He absolutely loved it and so did his mom.  They were given purpose for living.  They were outdoors.  They were using tools, having to do hand-eye coordination which is so good for his brain.  They were working alongside their grandchildren, having a bunch of laughs along the way.  They were able to enjoy the Fall weather and get some exercise.  It was just so incredibly satisfying, words can't describe, except to say it was the abundant life.  Our kids were all in and they always have been, but it was different.  They were sacrificing, as they all had school to do,  helping their dad, believing in him and his crazy dreams.  When we picked the whites the week before, there was a lot of rot.  The grapes did not look good due to wet weather and insect damage.  I felt disaster feelings and I told my son this.  He said to me, "I feel those feelings, too, but I believe in Dad and I'm going to support him no matter what."  Wow.  That boosted me and encouraged me so much, as well as RM when I told him what his son said.  So great.

This was when I realized the power of our vines and how much I love them so much!  My kids said in the vines this week, so many times, "WHY DID OUR DAD PLANT VINES?????"  One child said, "WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE AN ICE CREAMERY INSTEAD?????"  Sorry kids.  I know why and one day they will look back and see why we did this, too.  It has been hard, no doubt, and very stressful at times, 100%, time consuming, money consuming....all these things, but we have loved how it has allowed our family to work together, to bring in others around us.  It has given us a full life, a hard-working life, a productive life and one of amazing industry.  It has allowed our kids to see that you have to commit to something for the long haul and that there is no short cut to "fast money".  I do wish there was an easier way, but there just doesn't seem to be and my kids are witnesses to that.

We had huge victories this week though as we got into our second restaurant, and a big one at that - one that our kids have worked at that all of Niagara goes to.  How we pray we will have success at that restaurant as well as hopefully others to come.

When the Israelites sent spies into Canaan to see if it was a fruitful land, they brought back evidence to all of Israel to show them it was a land flowing with milk and honey.  And what was the evidence?  Grapes.  Huge grapes.  A cluster so big they had to carry it on a pole between two men.  Well, that's kind of what happened this week.  We had so many grapes, more than we expected, almost twice as much in one of the vineyards, we had to bring in extra guys to help.  A sign of blessing I would say.  It is sooooo easy to not see this.  

Ok - so now it is 3 days later - we have now officially harvested all the grapes.  This past weekend there was major pressure to get it done as rain was coming.  We are so grateful for weather apps that allow you to know the weather in advance!  What did farmers ever do before weather apps?!  It went from being balmy Fall weather to very cool and damp, nowhere near as fun, yet it was another really amazing experience.  I was out there picking in the vineyard down the street from us that is across from a winery we've gone to for over 15 years on many anniversaries.  As I was picking the Gewurtztraminer grapes by hand, I couldn't help but remember the first time I had the grape in wine form.  I had never even heard of the grape before.  I was 9 months pregnant, due any day with our 5th and I was going to have a glass of wine as I had been alcohol free for 9 months and I figured the baby was cooked, lol.  So the waitress described the wine and it sounded nice, so I tried it and really enjoyed it.  Fast forward 15 years.....there I was across the street from that same winery, but not on a patio enjoying a glass of wine.  No, I was in the very vineyard where that grape had grown that made that glass of wine so many years earlier and I wasn't visiting, I was living just up the street, helping to farm that vineyard with the son who was now 15 years old!  What a crazy reflection it was!  We had driven to that winery for many years and gone up the street multiple times and each time I would say to RM, "Who gets to live out here?" as I felt it was so unfair.  Even though my fingers were cold and I was working hard, I was thanking God over and over that day for how He has blessed us.

We were even able to get our skid steer out of axel-deep mud yesterday.  It had been stuck in another vineyard for days, but we really needed it out as it was going to get worse and worse with the amount of rain forecasted.  I prayed and prayed.  RM got really creative with the way he used chains on the back of the tractor and with multiple tries and lots of prayer, out it came.  We both just praised God as he had really thought it was going to be an all day thing, but it was less than an hour.  Soooooo grateful.

After studying Caleb this week, I fully get why people name their sons after him and his pal, Joshua.  But why not name them after Jephunneh or Nun, the fathers of these boys?  I wonder why they don't get more credit for raising boys that were so different than those around them.  Over and over you see Caleb described as one who "wholly followed the Lord".  Looking back on Caleb's life, he would have been alive during the time of slavery.  Perhaps his parents helped him to trust God even then as faith doesn't just happen.  It is work.  He then saw the miracles of the plagues, the Red Sea, water from a rock, etc.  He learned to trust God through the hard times and because of the hard times.  He had a great resume of faith that allowed him to be recognized as a leader of his tribe which then allowed him to be chosen as one of the men to go as spies.  He then rose to the top again and was one of only two men out of 12 who could see past the scary giants who lived there because he had what one commentator said, "the lenses of faith", whereas the other spies didn't even mention God, only the scary things they saw.  Caleb continued to trust God and was blessed to be one of the only men to see the Promised Land.  At 85 he approached Joshua and said to him, 

"You know what the Lord said to Moses the man of God in Kadesh-barnea concerning you and me. 7 I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh-barnea to spy out the land, and I brought him word again as it was in my heart. 8 But my brothers who went up with me made the heart of the people melt; yet I wholly followed the Lord my God. 9 And Moses swore on that day, saying, ‘Surely the land on which your foot has trodden shall be an inheritance for you and your children forever, because you have wholly followed the Lord my God.’ 10 And now, behold, the Lord has kept me alive, just as he said, these forty-five years since the time that the Lord spoke this word to Moses, while Israel walked in the wilderness. And now, behold, I am this day eighty-five years old. 11 I am still as strong today as I was in the day that Moses sent me; my strength now is as my strength was then, for war and for going and coming. 12 So now give me this hill country of which the Lord spoke on that day, for you heard on that day how the Anakim were there, with great fortified cities. It may be that the Lord will be with me, and I shall drive them out just as the Lord said.”

This has to be one of the most amazing passages in Scripture.  I love how he reflected on his life, always recognizing and giving the Lord credit for literally keeping him alive and giving him strength even in his old age  I also love his boldness, "So now give me this hill country....."  I see so much of Caleb in RM.  He's extremely unique.  He wholly follows the Lord to the best of his human ability.  He's experienced the miracles of the Lord so many times in his life he's lost count.  He would definitely have been one of the two spies to see past the scary giants as that's who he is, never falling into what others see.  He has the rare ability to see opportunity and isn't afraid.  He would say his strength is failing and perhaps isn't as strong as he was at 40, yet he is still strong and to me doesn't act his age at all.  And the most amazing part is years ago we prayed that God would bless us with land.  We longed to move to the country.  I even dared to pray, without knowing this verse even existed, that we could live on a place with rolling hills.  Who prays prayers that specifically?  I just liked the idea of not living in a flat place.  I wanted a view!  Well, guess what?  We were given "hill country".  We literally live on top of a hill - the escarpment.  And, we live on top of a hill on top of the escarpment - the highest place in our little town, we've been told.  So high in fact that at one time, during the war, our land was used as a transmission tower for the army.  Joshua blessed Caleb with the hill country and then "the land had rest from war".  We are still at war in a way, fighting to make a living, fighting the land itself, the weeds, the weather, yet we see the blessing of God in our life because of the lens of faith.  As long as we keep that lens up, we won't fall into the trap that the other spies did.

So - a long reflection, but so many amazing truths, just from being in the vines these last few days.  I could never have known all these things that would come out of living here.  It is not an easy life that is for sure, but it surely is an abundant one.

Looking Back, but Not to Yesterday, to a Year

Last night we were looking through RM's phone at all his pictures.  Sometimes pictures are taken and you don't realize the significance of them until much later.  He had a picture of our "winery" from a year ago and it was amazing to see the difference from last year to this year.  Last year he had a barrel or two, a bin or two, a small fruit press we used by hand to press all the grapes, a couple of cars, a milling machine, all his shelving, all shoved into that one little space - what a mess it was!  What a difference a year makes.  Now it has grown to 21 barrels, many bins, a huge 80, 000 tons of pressure/press that he designed by himself, all the shelving and junk is gone (moved to the bottom of the barn out of sight), the cars are out (still need fixing, but that's another matter), the milling machine is moved....the floors are even clean.  I cannot believe the difference.  Yet, when you don't look back, all you see is the mess you're in.  You just can't look back one day, one week, or even a month.  You really have to step back at least a year to see how far you've come.  And, RM heard this week, don't compare yourself to others.  Instead, compare yourself to yourself, from a year ago - how far have you come?  We have definitely changed from one year to another and each year we accomplish new things.  Yet, we forget and we feel down or discouraged because we compare ourselves to others and it doesn't seem like we're getting anything done.  But we are!  That short little look back was so helpful!

We also held a mini "tasting" over the weekend as the weather was so bad and we couldn't harvest.  We had one friend in particular come by that we hadn't seen in a long time.  She's known us as long as we've lived here and has followed our story.  I always tend to apologize for how things look, the mess, the lack of having things all together, etc., etc., but she said, "But you're doing it!  You aren't waiting to have it all together!  Look where you've come from!"  I always pray that RM will feel some form of encouragement, but that day I was the one who was encouraged.  To hear her say those things was great, just what we needed to hear.  

Another very unexpected visitor was a friend RM used to know from 40 years ago from Winnipeg!  She and her husband farm 2500 acres in Manitoba and their harvest also hadn't gone well due to weather so they decided to take their new corvette for a road trip.  What a beautiful car!  Out they came to Ontario and stopped in for a tasting as they had heard through Facebook that we had something going on.  In his mind, we were living the dream that he wanted - to retire in Niagara on a winery and farm grapes, not wheat.  He was ready to buy our farm.  His wife said he was all talk, so not gonna happen, but it still made me reflect that even though it isn't picture perfect, it is wonderful living here, wonderful to farm, wonderful to experience the ups and downs of farming, to see how it all comes together, to work alongside the kids, friends, grandparents, to have so many conversations all day long, to work through the hardships of stuck equipment, to figuring out how to bring in the harvest.....we are learning so much!  Our kids are learning so much!

I read my "verse of the day" that comes in my phone each day and it was perfect, "Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, For I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God."  Psalm 42:11  So, though we have days where we are downcast and disturbed, I feel like we have so many reasons to praise God and we are constantly reminded to put our hope in God.  

This week we'll have many reasons to keep trusting Him as we have two more blocks of grapes that have to come in and we're running out of time with the weather.  We have a very stuck skid steer in the vines and no way to get it out with the weather we're having, but we must keep trusting.  

Reflections on My Grandmother at 13

Yesterday my 13 year old went to a friend's house to help her catch up on her cleaning as she has 3 kids under 4 and was feeling a little overwhelmed.  My daughter thought this was an ok idea as she was going to get paid for it and loves the extra income as she is now enjoying doing her own shopping.  I also enjoy it as I no longer have to pay for all the things she wants!  This is her third job in her life.  Her first one was being a mother's helper for another young family, such a great experience all summer.  She also started babysitting and loved that, too.  I'm so grateful for the jobs a young girl can do that are safe and teach them so much.

What she didn't expect, however, yesterday, was how hard it was going to be!  She was washing and cleaning 3 bathrooms and mopping floors in the house for several hours.  She came home tired and sore.  My first thoughts were pity, I have to admit.  I felt sorry for her.  I make her clean here, too, but hours at a time?  No.  But then, I thought, wow, this is exactly what I wanted, isn't it?  We say that we have arrows in our quiver, but do we ever send them out to help others? Then I thought about the character she was learning.  You can only learn character by doing hard things and here she was doing very hard work.  Some good has to come out of that!  

Then, I thought about my grandmother.  She came over from Germany to Canada at 13 years old (I think I have that age right).  She came as an orphan and was immediately put to work as a housekeeper in someone's house at a very young age.  She wasn't treated nicely from what I was told.  Yet, here was my daughter, in a house of a friend who kept checking on her to see if she was ok, offering her food, telling her to not push herself too much, and then coming home to a family where she is loved and encouraged.  My daughter was working hard, yes, but she has it waaaaay better than my grandmother ever did.  At the same time, it made me appreciate my grandmother so much more to think about what she would have been like, what she would have been doing at that young age, all alone.  I ached for her wishing I could have talked to her last night and thanked her for all she did as a young girl, knowing she probably never had any appreciation.

That's all I have time for now....I'm now going to attempt to wake up the slumberers who are against waking up....

The Gardener of All Seasons

In the last two weeks we've aquired 3 new animals.  We don't need more animals in our home, but we have them.  But, great news, lol, they all came free of charge.  Yay, sigh.  My oldest son was given a bird-eating tarantula, apparently the 3rd largest spider in the world.  My 2 youngest boys found 2 free hamsters online, with all the cages, food and shavings.  But, they, I have to say, are very cute, so I don't mind them as much.  I guess it is the small things in life, right?

Today, I'm not sure what to do with myself.  I know I should be doing school and I will, but normally I would be harvesting vegetables for most of the day.  No more customers!  But I still have vegetables in the garden.  They didn't just stop growing, so now I have to force myself to go out there anyway and harvest what is left, which is a lot, and wash, peel, prep and freeze them for the winter.  This may seem like a basic and straightforward task, but I'm actually finding it quite overwhelming.  I don't want to let them go to waste, yet the work ahead of me isn't fun.  I pretend to be a homesteader, but I'm really not, clearly.  So we'll see what happens.  It isn't going to get any warmer, so I have to go out in the name of saving us a few bucks over the winter.  When I told my kids what they would be helping me with all I heard was, "But I don't even like turnips!"  Sorry.....If it were just for the potatoes, it would be worth it, but where are the potatoes?  No ones knows!  The potato plant dies and then if you don't know where they potato plant was in the first place, good luck...so I have all sorts of potatoes underground because the weeds took over and now, to begin looking for those potatoes is also very overwhelming!  Oh well.  I will say, when I find myself in what could be a very real and dark place, I have to remember how God took me through the entire summer, even with the weeds.  He allowed me to grow vegetables and provide them for so many people and He'll now help me take the garden down.  It's His garden anyway, so I don't need to worry even about that.

I'm now re-taking a Bible Study from years ago called MotherWise.  This study was the one that transformed my marriage and so many marriages of friends around me.  I'm doing it with just a small group of women and this is week 4 of the study where we begin to study marriage from a Biblical perspective, starting in Genesis 2.  I was brought back to the many verses God gave me in the Spring when I was first considering the planting of a garden.  Some of them came from Genesis 2, so it was neat to be studying marriage and yet be reminded of the garden verses, too.

Before God created Adam there was no bush, no plant, no rain, no man.  Then God created Adam.  Then God "planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man he had formed.  And out of the ground the Lord made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food....The Lord took the man and put him in the garden to work it and keep it."  These verses reminded me then in the Spring, and now in the Fall, about how HE is the ultimate gardener.  He is the one who really planted the garden, even though I think I was the one who did it.  Looking back I now see how He literally "made to spring up"  each plant.  Each plant that grew was so "pleasant to the sight" and they were all "good for food".  My vegetables grew so well because of all the manure and rain that I now have "kale trees".  The plants are so high that they are past my waist when I walk by them to harvest kale.  Unbelievable.  And talk about good for food...so good!  Adam's first placement was a garden.  Again, I find this so encouraging as I'm about to go back in there despite the fact I have no customers, and I'm going to have to go in there and work it and keep it.  It feels like a curse and it is to some degree as I'm fighting weeds that I'm sure Adam didn't have to fight, but it originally wasn't.  So, I'm going to have to take Adam's approach and consider my garden more Eden-like.  I really need to make sure my attitude is better and thank God for the privilege of working and keeping a garden.

More on the marriage aspect later, but I'm just grateful that God reminded me of these amazing verses even when I wasn't looking for them, when I was studying something entirely different, and brought me back to how He is the gardener in all seasons, Spring, Summer and now Fall.  I pray He'll help me find the vegetables and figure out what to do with them all.  Even that can be for His glory if I go in with the right attitude!

It's Real

So it happened - we did our first social media blitz and came out of the closet, so to speak.  Now it's out there.  People know.  Pressing the "share" button was scary, but exciting.  We are now a real winery, with cases bottled, barrels everywhere, labeling and bottling stations all over and people coming for tastings.

Saturday was the day we decided to introduce the world to Urban Tractor Winery because it was the last day of the Harvest Boxes.  Our customers received a complimentary wine tasting with their box and it was fun.  We even sold a few bottles so that was exciting seeing our first bottle ever sold!

The official launch is unofficially October 16.  That's when we'll host a bigger celebration where people will buy tickets and there will be a meal, a jazz band, tastings, and a big bonfire.  It'll be a fun event where we truly get to celebrate and introduce the wines to the world.

One of our garden customers introduced us to a local sommelier and yesterday she and her husband popped in for a tasting.  She's going to be a great contact to help us get our wine label out there.  One interesting thing she said was, "Write a book".  Hmmmmm.....maybe?  I've been writing for so long and have kept this blog all through the journey, so we will see if maybe one day it'll make it into print.  Perhaps a joint husband and wife book that we write together?

As we sat around as a family the other night discussing and brainstorming our launch party, it was almost as if our kids finally understood what we were doing.  "Hey, we should start a winery!"  Uh, we did.  "Hey, we should sell our wine!"  Uh, we are.  So, a little slow, but they're catching on to the vision and starting to see this is their inheritance, so they need to keep buying into it.  

As RM sets things up in the winery side of our shop, more and more of my house furniture is disappearing including my kitchen table, so that's made meal time interesting....

Well, the day has started.....it's going to be a very busy grape week I think as the harvesting process is just beginning...

Bible Quizzing is Back and Saying No to a Critical Spirit

Yesterday was exciting as Bible Quizzing started up again and with a vengeance.  The last couple of years have not been so good.  I can never understand that.  I see the value of memorizing God's Word as so critical, but for some reason not everyone else does so we don't get a good turn out no matter how many families I invite, but this year was different.  So many people showed up!  We have at least 15 junior quizzers and more senior quizzers than we've ever had.  It was sooooo encouraging.  

My younger boys had spent the last two weeks memorizing and were doing really well and then in the last few days, I swear, a demon from hell had been sent to them just to make them see it as pointless and stressful.  I really can't explain their sudden change in behaviour except that they were seen as a threat to the kingdom of darkness so they went from "I'm memorizing!" to "I'm dropping out" in one day.  I told them to keep at it and so they did, but not without constant bugging from me.

Then yesterday, they were the ones getting all the jumps and quoting all the correct answers.  It all made sense to them and myself as we reflected on the practice after everyone left.  They were so excited again and they were keen to keep memorizing.  What had happened earlier on in the week was clearly a spiritual battle to discourage them and attempt to keep them from memorizing.  There isn't a week when some kind of battle takes place.

This week I found myself unknowingly being the one who was critical or snippy.  The irony is I'm mentoring these younger moms and yet I was falling into the very trap I was discouraging them to avoid particularly with their husbands.  Seeing how that was not what I wanted to keep doing, I was suddenly keenly aware of every word that came out of my mouth.  I often say this to the kids as my mom used to say to me, "If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all", but had I ever really thought about EVERY word?  

This week that's what I have found myself doing.  I have literally thought through EVERY word.  Knowing I can cause tremendous discouragement and how criticism is never received well, I just quit cold turkey.  If a thought comes into my mind that is critical, then I just don't talk.  I catch myself and turn it around into something I'm grateful for.  If I find myself worrying, I realize how I discuss my concerns can then turn into a form of disrespect as I end up questioning RM on what decisions he's making or what he's doing, so now I just stop.  I try to discuss it very carefully as I'm uber aware now of how it makes him feel.  I've never  had this level of sensitivity before, but as we talked through a few things this week, he made it very clear how the criticism is hard for him and so I just stopped.  I don't plan on adding it back into my life!  Even though I've worked on this before and have seen major differences in our marriage, I realize I can still grow, still improve and why not, I plan on being married a lot longer, so I'd like to make it go the distance!

Well, I'm off to drive a son to school and start another day.....

Just in Chapter 1

Every week so much life happens.  I still regret not writing more during the summer.  We picked up my "blog book" last night.  The kids absolutely love reading little snippets of our life and who knew I'd been writing for over 7 years.  We read about my son's 8th birthday last night.  That 8 year old is now 15.  He's so big now.  I didn't write about what we did for his 8th birthday, but I did reflect on his 5th in the post.  The night of his 5th the cows we bought arrived.  Ten years later we used all the manure from those cows to grow our garden.  It was an amazing reflection to see how those cows would be used in our life without us knowing at that time.  For his 15th birthday, no cows, just a day of trampolining and flipping with a couple friends.  I'm in awe of his bizarre talent!

This week we are prepping for our the grape harvest.  This will be way more intense than last year as this year we actually managed to save the grapes with netting, so we have 5 acres to bring in BY HAND.  Needless to say we'll be calling all the contacts we've ever had to help.

We also spent the entire weekend prepping all the bins for the actual grapes to be pressed in as well as moving barrels around, cleaning and prepping the machinery and also getting everything ready for bottling.  We are also bottling we hope any day now.  We are waiting on one more approval on the red wine and then we order the labels and we will be selling wine.  That'll be a big day when we sell the first case.  Seven years ago when I was writing, I definitely did not see this day coming.

When we moved in to this place, we were still running an engineering business.  We had so much stuff from all RM's contracts that we didn't take the time to go through it, so it all came into what we call "the shop".  We've since gotten rid of so much stuff as he shut down his business and started at the college, but not everything was dealt with.  Over the last few weekends, we have, or I should say, the older boys have, taken EVERYTHING out of the shop and moved it into the bottom of the barn, then swept up all the mess and remarkably mopped the floors over and over until it looks brand new.  We are now moving in the vehicles that need to be fixed (yes, that's plural) and then the idea is we hope to actually fix them!  They've been sitting around for months because you can't jack them up and work on them while they are on a gravel surface.  Once they're in the shop, it'll be way easier to work on.  None of them have anything serious.  They are all "quick fixes", if that's possible with cars.  This might not seem like a big deal, but it's a huge answer to prayer for me.  When you have dumpy cars all over your property sitting there, you start to look like a junk yard.  How I hate that.  Getting things like this out of the way and cleaned up is a big deal.  I always want things done fast and when I want, but what I've learned is to be patient and trust and hope.  When you have as much going on as we do, you have to learn to wait.  And as a Psalm says that I read recently, you have to wait - in silence - that means no complaining, no nagging.  RM knows that I don't like the junky look.  He hates it, too, but one man can only do so much, so I have waited and things are slowly, but surely getting better.

We have friends who have an amazing home and garden renovation business.  The homes they renovate pretty much always end up in national decorating magazines, literally.  If we get brave enough, we're considering asking them to come by our place and give us a master plan for our place.  We could never hire them to coordinate the whole thing....we just want a plan that we could then do in phases.  Those phases might just take another 25 years to complete, but you never know, maybe just a 5 year plan!  Anyway, we'll see if we get our courage up to call them.  Every minute on the phone is like talking to a lawyer, you get charged!  So....don't know, can't say, want to hope.....ugh, I want them to come today!

I'm reading in Ruth right now.  In just the first  5 verses, 3 men died.  Three women were left with heartache.  The book itself is only 4 chapters long.  My niece's boyfriend broke up with her this week and she was left broken hearted.  As I read those 5 verses I could almost feel the heartache of Naomi, Ruth and Orpah and it made me feel my niece's heartache.  But as I kept thinking about it, I knew I wasn't really that sad because I knew the book ended on a happy note.  Ruth meets Boaz and ends up being in the line of Christ.  It was an amazing love story.  So I made a video to my niece explaining to her how "she's just in chapter one" of her life, actually she's just in the first 5 verses of her life.  There are 4 more chapters of her life to go!  There will be a "Boaz" one day.  Ruth didn't know who, how or when.  None of us do.  I am in maybe chapter 2 or 3 of my life.  I've met my Boaz, thank the Lord.  I still have lots of questions though as to how my life will go.  But, I need to give myself the advice I gave my niece - trust God to write the chapters of your life.  I don't need to worry or dread.  I can be excited about what He's going to do in her life and what He'll do in mine.  He wrote my love story and my life story.  I'm excited to see what will happen next, for my niece and for myself and our family.