I'm on the Ark

"'J' is swearing at you," my little four year old said to me yesterday. 
"What?  He's not swearing at me!" 
"Yes, he is!  Watch him!  He just looked at you!  I can swear, too." 
"What are you talking about?"  I was shocked that my son knew what swearing was and that he knew he could do it, too.  Then suddenly I started to laugh.  He was definitely "swearing" at me, standing there, still as anything and just looking at me without blinking.....I think he meant to say "staring".  I quickly explained the difference between staring and swearing, had a giggle, and life went on.

My little 4 year old's worldview isn't entirely Biblically based....yet.  Right now, every decision he makes is through his owned skewed preschooler perspective.  I actually quite like his little worldview, it's so fun!  My oldest daughter's worldview this week is going to be challenged.  The speakers will be encouraging this group of students to look at every thing they do and say and to have it based on a Biblical worldview.  I'm really excited for her. 

It's cute to see my other children and how they react to her being gone.  The youngest girl, 6, wanted to know where her big sister was going and for how long.  We tried to explain, but all she heard was that her bed would be empty for a week.  "Can I sleep in her bed?!"  "Sure!"  "Yeah!  Bye!  See ya soon!"  The other children think about her all the time and now in the world of texting are constantly fighting over who gets to text her next!  How sweet!  They really want to know what she's up to and how things are going.  Turns out the second night of being there she found herself on the worship team playing piano - so great!  I'm sure she is having the time of her life.

Dropping her off on the Sunday afternoon was very strange though.  It was at an actual college campus with residences....kind of felt like we were truly leaving her for the first time at college....forever!  It took everything in me to not get a little teary as I left.  Fortunately, we had comic relief with us, the 2 year old and 4 year old also came along, so it was laughs everywhere we turned, pointing at diggers, etc.  No time for tears.  If anything, they were so callous and could have cared less if they ever saw her again!  It was pretty funny, but that's their little worldview again coming out.....seeing everything through their eyes and their eyes only.

I think she is going to come back a different person.  I'm looking forward to seeing her pumped up about all that she is hearing this week. 

Meanwhile, the fast continues...I'm up early again.  Still trying to organize and declutter, plan and plan some more.  I've never taken a fast so seriously.   I've started to consider this a fast of epic porportions, on the same level as Noah's flood.  Seriously.  I'm considering the debt to be the "evil" of Noah's day, so awful that God had to wipe it out with a flood.  It took 40 days of rain, day and night, an entire ark to be built over years and years, one family to stand alone against the persecution from everyone that saw them and what they were doing.  But then, the beautiful thing.  The evil of that generation was wiped out and a rainbow was sent to remind Noah and everyone after him that He would never do such a flood again.  I feel like Noah and his family.  I feel sometimes like we are taking a stand against this debt just like Noah did.  Is that too over-the-top?  Perhaps, but that's how it occurred to me the other day.  I'm hoping to see something like a flood or something that will wipe it clean and clear.  I have no idea what that will look like, but I'm on the ark right now, praying and fasting for 40 days asking Him to wipe it out, just as He did with the flood.   Comparing my family to Noah's family is a bit of a stretch, but I still love the comparison.  Noah did something so radical in his day and somehow got buy-in from everyone in his family.  Our kids are on board, too, pardon the pun.  It isn't easy being different.  I've said it many times before, but obeying God isn't always supposed to be a walk in the park.  Unlike Noah, I'm not asking for a generation to be wiped out, just that future generations won't experience debt. 

One of the things I gave up was sugary desserts  and sugary drinks (I love lemonade in the summer).  Last night, RM took all of us out for a sundae.  Accidentally he ordered too many meaning I could have had one for sure.  The kids saw that I refused and couldn't believe the missed opportunity!  I said, "I'm determined guys, I mean, 'debt-termined!'  I've never been more serious about something before."  And it's true.  Each week we are seeing God's hand in all sorts of mini-miracles and not-so-mini miracles.  Each week I do the math and though everyone jokes at my bad math, I see how God is multiplying either our time or adding income in some small way, even if it the smallest thing, I add it up and mentally apply it to the debt.  I don't know what the final outcome will be, but I'm excited to see what God could do.  Once again, He might keep us faithful and dependent on Him.  That isn't a bad thing.  Or He might clear it once and for all.  I'd be good with that.  I just know I'm praying more than I've ever prayed and I daily receive an encouragement of some kind.  So I press on, seeking God, storming the gates of heaven....