Today is our 19th anniversary. I wasn't supposed to come downstairs this morning. I was supposed to stay in bed, but I wanted to write, so I snuck down anyway and to my amazement, the whole house was spotless. I had left it rather messy knowing I needed to get up a little earlier to tidy as my parents are coming over later on today. My oldest daughter did it again - she knows how a clean house is the best gift to any mom. My morning will go just that much smoother today because of her secret cleaning spree. What a blessing!
The 40 days is up. I want to write that a brown paper package showed up from an anonymous donor for the exact amount of the debt, but that didn't happen. I don't think I knew exactly what would happen. Perhaps I did expect a major miracle on the 40th day, not sure, but again, I'm writing just to show that even though the debt didn't magically disappear, I'm convinced God is still working. He's just on a different schedule than I am. I am on the "do it when I want it" schedule and He's on the "I'm perfecting and finishing your faith" schedule. I guess we still have some major lessons to learn before all is said and done.
However, we did have some major answers to prayers during the course of the 40 days and we learned a lot that we weren't expecting. Here's just a few examples.....One of the major challenges to me, not unlike my children, has been sugar intake. With my oldest loving to bake, I have always loved to snack. I gave all that up during the 40 days and literally tried to only eat 3 small things a day. That might not sound like a fast, but it was! I never realized how much I snack....apparently all the time. I had been trying to eat well since January and had lost a few pounds, but if she baked up something sweet, I usually caved. Once a cookie entered my mouth, a few more would follow throughout the day. I just never had the self-discipline to stop. This fast showed me it really was a bond in my life. I gave it up for the 40 days and I really haven't missed it. The stubborn weight that I was trying to lose came off and I'm back at a weight that I've wanted to be at for years. That was huge!
Another interesting struggle was a patch on leg that has been literally irritating me for months. I have no idea how it started, but it seemed related to a varicose vein and resulted in non-stop itching all day which led to a terrible rash and was spreading all over my lower leg. I could hardly do anything but think about this irritation during the day which just made it worse. The doctor had prescribed multiple creams, none of which worked. My pharmacist sister-in-law took one look at it and was very concerned that I had a much more serious skin/vein issue than I first thought. Just over a week ago or so, I cried out to the Lord. I wasn't sure if I could be so bold, but in light of the fast, would it be possible to show himself to me? Could He show me He was working in my life? I asked straight out that He take away the itch and heal my leg. Then I kind of forgot about it. A couple of days later, it occurred to me, when was the last time I itched my leg? I couldn't remember! It must have been at least a day or two. Then I looked down. The red patch was almost completely gone. You have to realize....this had been going on for MONTHS!!! I was constantly itching my leg - it was like a form of torture. I knew if I itched it, it would get worse, but if I didn't itch it, it made me nuts! There was no doubt about it, it was healed - completely! If you were to see it now, you would never even know that part of the leg had been bothering me for so long - it's completely back to normal and no scar to even indicate where the patch of skin was so infected. Praise God!
The other miracle has to be my daughter and her health. She is the one making me breakfast this morning. She could never do that before as she was always so tired and could never get out of bed! This meal was her initiative.....everything was made by her. The greatest sign has to be in her eyes. She always had dark circles under her eyes. I never thought those would go away. They are gone. I think I wrote this before, but before if I used a crayon to draw her, I would have coloured her white. Now, I tell her, I would colour her beige! All over! That is so great! She's beige!!!!!! Thank you, Lord!!!!
Another exciting change in our family has come from hosting the street preachers this summer. At the beginning of the summer, we hosted them with some suspicions. It turns out most people they stayed with on their Cross-Canada Tour hosted them with some suspicions at first, but just like us, in all cases, by the end of their stay with each host, it was either the host family or the host church that suddenly was on-board with what they were doing and were completely convicted that we'd been one of the 98% of Christians that really didn't share their faith. How sad!!!! As a direct result of their coming to our farm, watching them live out their convictions and having attended some evangelism training they offered (including going out on the street with them), we are changed. We always saw people as lost, but never were so bold as to come right out and share with them the hope we had. I usually used the "friendship evangelism" approach where I would live it out and wait for them to ask or notice what was different about me, but the truth is, people rarely ask. Meanwhile people are dying and will be forever separated from God without us being so bold. We took our kids with us when we went out with the street preachers to the Farmer's Market. At first they were too shy to hand out the tracts. They had no idea how to do it. But once they got the hang of, they wouldn't stop. They had no fear whatsoever and were handing them out left, right and center. The next day we were in the Dollar Store and saw someone with dyed red hair. As soon as they walked by, my youngest daughter said, "Mom! I forgot my tracts!" She wanted to give one to the young lady. She assumed she was lost and the truth is, she probably was. Why can't we give tracts out in the Dollar Store? My kids have no fear and that is a great model for me. The fear of man is leaving our home. Another bond is being broken.
Again, as for the debt, yes, I'm a little disappointed for sure that the debt is still here, but the 40 days was not in vain. I know God is still working. Hebrews 12 was this past Sunday's passage. We are still being discplined by God. That doesn't mean we are being punished. It just means He is still working in us. We are to "run with endurance the race that is set before us". God has orchestrated this whole set of circumstances. I am not to "grow weary or fainthearted", though sometimes I do. My situation isn't really so bad. I have much to be grateful for. The fact that He is disciplining us is a sign that He loves us, "for the Lord disciplines the one whom He loves." The Bible says, "It is for discipline that you have to endure." I have to endure, no choice in the matter. It is in order to "share His holiness". Great things can only come of this time of endurance. "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. I don't know when "later" is, but I want the peaceful fruit of righteousness. It also says it comes to those who have been trained by it. I'm being trained! No wonder it is so hard! No one likes being trained! We are training our horses right now and they are resisting! They fight back, bite, even buck at us. There isn't a lot of fruit in them, but we are sticking with it as we have a goal for them to be more than just expensive pets to look at.
Once again, the Bible hits the nail on the head when the writer of Hebrews addresses the believers in Rome who are struggling in their discouragement,
"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (vs. 12)
What a perfect description! It's like the description of Abraham, "as good as dead". We have drooping hands, weak knees, crooked paths, lame bank accounts and out of joint plans for the future. But, that isn't the rallying cry! It is a calling out to "lift" our drooping hands, to "strengthen" our weak knees, and to "make straight paths" for our feet! We must remain active! Strengthening our weak knees requires faith exercises again - never giving up. Making straight paths is an action, too - not sitting around depressed and discouraged. We remain full of hope - our "lame" bank account will not remain "out of joint", but instead, we are asking that it be healed! One day....one day....
One last intesting note....we are still hoping for an ark of some kind. It hasn't been revealed what that is, but God did provide that major contract during this period of fasting, too. Guess what little word is in the name of RM's company...."ark". We combined the two last names of ours and our friends' to make the company name and smack dab in the middle is the word "ark". Coincidence? I'm not sure, but perhaps the ark is right under our noses! This contract we were given may lead to more unexpected work, so though I can't say for sure, I am grateful for the work we do have.
We are now getting ready to go away for a night....we had said we wouldn't as it was way too expensive, but then RM said we could do it as long as we didn't pay full price. Turns out going away on any weekend is super expensive, especially the last long weekend of the summer, BUT if you wait until the very end of the weekend, which is the exact day of our anniversary, the prices drop dramatically and we were able to get a half-price night away at one of the nicest places in Niagara. I can't wait!!!! We are celebrating the 19th and going into the 20th year. I pray the 20th year will be the year of freedom!
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