Now, we are full into "craft" week. School by morning. Crafts by afternoon. Sore fingers anyone? Even the little boys were helping me sew yesterday as one pushed the sewing pedal, the other one skewered pins into anything he could find. Very cute. We buy the glass for some stained glass ornaments today which will be what the older boys will do.
I have another story to share today, but this isn't related to finances, though it does have an "investment" theme to it. I share with permission.
This past summer I had been in touch with a friend who was really struggling in her marriage. Due to not living close by, as well as our trip away and then coming back to school, I hadn't been in touch with her for awhile, but I had been praying the entire time. I was quite worried about her situation. She was expecting a baby (which I think she just had two days ago....waiting to hear!) and had other children at home as well. She was fed up and so was her husband. The idea of splitting up for a bit had come into his mind as well as her's. I knew they were serious about that which is why I had started to seriously pray.
Finally, I sat down and tried emailing her a few weeks ago. I knew I needed to know what was going on. I was in fact checking in to see if they were still together. I wouldn't have been shocked to find out that they had split up, even if it was temporary. I didn't hear back. That couldn't be good. Maybe she didn't want to tell me. But I couldn't leave it at that, so I texted her. Still no response. Most texts usually get a quick response. Now I was worried.
But then, a couple of days later, to my relief, she responded with a "Sorry, my phone/email was down. I'll give you a call later. All is well..." type of text. Whew! I was so glad to hear from her! So the next day we talked on the phone and to my amazement.......they not only hadn't separated, but things were better than ever! What had happened?! How could this be?!
This is where the theme of investment comes in.......
In the state they were in, her husband had suggested they go away together, just the two of them. As most of us moms would think, she was completely against the idea, "Who's going to watch the kids? What will happen if something happens?" So many questions. She couldn't get her head around it, but then, her oldest daughter, stepped up and said she would watch the kids (she was old enough) and that all would be fine.
It took a while for my friend to get her head around it, but she finally started to realize, "If I don't do it now, when?" I think she knew her marriage depended on this. So, leaving her kids in her daughter's capable hands (and the Lord's!), off they went.....
One morning while they were away, her husband noticed she was making eggs and coffee....only for herself....and meekly said, "I wouldn't mind an egg...." "Oh, sure." So she made him an egg. She then poured him a coffee, too. He appreciated this. They enjoyed eggs and coffee on the patio together.
The next morning, same thing....but this time, she made them without him asking....more special time on the patio together...little flame being rekindled.....
The next morning, more eggs, more coffee...more appreciation from him as this was not typically what she did for him....
This went on the whole time they were there. She found herself being drawn back to him and him to her as she did this very simple act of love every day. They came home more in love.
But now, back home, why keep making him breakfast....but she found herself wanting to do this. So she did morning after morning. Finally he asked her, "Why are you doing this?" "Because I know it pleases you." That was it. She had found one of the secrets to a happy marriage. Simply doing something that pleased her husband without any strings attached. He loved it and in return loved her.
Then she started to notice that she was catching herself from old patterns. Where she would normally have challenged him, she backed off. She knew if she gave her two cents it was going to cause a fight. "Why would I do that? It wasn't going to help matters?" she told me, so she just started to stop her extra words when she typically would have gone on and on leading into him becoming angry and then war.....
I was amazed. It seemed too simple. Could it be that simple? Yes, I really think it is. Eggs and coffee. Keeping her mouth quiet. I asked her, "Can I please share your story!?" She agreed. She's in a completely new marriage it seems to me. I can only think it will get better now. Sure, she has challenges ahead, but now, I think she sees the secrets to a happy marriage - eggs and coffee, selfless serving, thinking first before speaking...all things she knew before I'm sure, but it meant her being the one to take the first step. Isn't that how it always is? YOU GO FIRST. That's one of my favourite lines from a David Jeremiah sermon I heard ages ago. YOU GO FIRST. He challenged anyone who was angry or in a state of unforgiveness to stop waiting for the other person to say he was sorry first. "It'll never happen," he said. YOU GO FIRST. Words to live by and my friend is living proof.
It is also a testimony to the power of prayer. I had no idea any of this was happening. I was simply praying whenever her name came to my mind. I am now embarrassed to think I thought it was over! I should have had more faith for her! But I continued to pray. I'm sure she was praying, too. I know for a fact, in this time of terrible struggle, she was reading her Bible like she never had before. She was studying it like she never had before. I know God answered her prayers and mine and that He has been faithful to His promises that she clung to during that difficult season.
So, there you go - today, I'll make coffee for my husband. I'll cook an egg and I'll remember that simple act of love is much more than food, it is saving my marriage.
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