November is here. Time is flying by. Now, I'm in in Numbers and once again I find myself relating to the Israelites, but this time for a different reason. I'm looking up into the sky, waiting for the cloud to move. I want things to change! But the cloud is still there. Sometimes I see a glimmer of what I think is the cloud moving, but no, it is still there, in the same place above the "tabernacle" of our home.
I had never thought of what it must have been like to be an Israelite with respect to the cloud. They moved when the cloud moved and stayed when it stayed. The Bible said, "Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camps and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out. At the command of the Lord the camped, and at the command of the Lord they set out." (Numbers 9:22, 23) There were probably some who loved it when there was going to be a change of scenery, but there were probably others who felt, "Not another move!"
For me, I don't want to literally move. I want God to move us from a place of debt to no debt, but He's keeping that cloud still. What I found most encouraging, however, in this passage is that whether the Israelites were there for "two days, a month or a longer time", the cloud "continued over the tabernacle, abiding there." It's not like He is unaware of my circumstance. He doesn't go away and then just show up when He wants to do something in my life. He's always abiding with me, continuing over my tabernacle.
I see this in how He continues to show us His constant love. We shipped another order this past Friday, knowing other than writing courses (which take a long time to do and take a long time to get paid), no other work was coming. Sure enough, once the order was done, RM went to his computer to do some paperwork and there was a request for a quote for yet another contract that He wasn't expecting at all. It isn't a done deal, but it is highly likely that He will get it. To me, it is just another sign of His tremendous faithfulness and keeping us faithful as we didn't know about that until the last contract was literally done and shipped. I think sometimes if we knew ahead of time that work was definitely on its way, we'd sit back and not be nearly as prayerful as we are when there is no proof of other work coming down the line.
I'm having to really trust God for my daughter this week. I'm praying her "college cloud" will move forward, not backwards in failure. This week is do or die for her - she's learning the hard lessons of college - don't leave all your studying until the last minute! She's writing two exams on Wednesday and I think up until this point she has just relied on her natural abilities to get her through. It doesn't work that way with higher education. You have to actually put in the time and a LOT of it. I trust that she won't have to experience failure in order to learn this life lesson. I'm praying God will be gracious to her and give her the abilities to pass. We've had a lot of discussions about better studying techniques and I've had friends like Stephanie share her experiences as well in order to pump her up! Ultimately, I think this will decide if she's got what it takes to keep going. Very hard for me as I watch her go through this. I wish I didn't know everything about her schedule. Hard for me to keep my mouth shut. So I say what I can, keep my mouth shut when I need to and pray, pray, pray.
I think the cloud has finally settled on a church, however. We had tried one church for nearly 7 months and it was wonderful, but it was just so far. I know some people have no problem traveling long distances and it does make sense in some cases, but with a large family I was finding the extra two hours it took (total time back and forth) too much. We had dismissed the local churches near us for a variety of reasons, but found one church coming up over and over in discussion. We finally decided to check it out. It has only been three weeks, but I think we're going to give it a go. My favourite part? 5 minutes away. I LOVE THAT! It is a very friendly group of people and though we clearly stand out as a different group just by the size of our family alone, they are very welcoming. I did feel a bit like an Israelite as we wandered through the wilderness of no church family for a while, but God taught us many lessons through that whole experience.
So.... ultimately, the wilderness can be a good place. I'm learning to stop fighting God, especially when I want Him to move me or settle me. His timing is always best, whether it's "two days, or a month, or a longer time......"
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