Going to Rome

Great friends sent me a fantastic sermon by preacher Robbie Symons.  The whole sermon was excellent, but what struck me the most was his introduction.  He referred to Acts 23:11.  In the middle of all sorts of persecution in Paul's life, God came and spoke to him, saying, "Take courage, for as you have testified to the facts about me in Jerusalem, so you must testify also in Rome."

How wonderful to hear directly from God.  You would think if God planned a trip to Rome for Paul, then He would make a way for him to get there, but it just got worse for Paul from there.  Attempts on his life, jail, storms, shipwrecks....months and months of hardship, if not years, but the whole time, Paul never faltered, because God had told him he was going to Rome.  In fact, just as a way to give him a reminder, an angel of God was sent to him one more time while they were on the ship, having "been without food for a long time."  The angel reminded him, "Do not be afraid, Paul; you must stand before Casesar."  In other words, "You're going to Rome."

Robbie's encouragement was if you know your destination, i.e. heaven, then nothing can distract you or even discourage you.  Paul was even bitten by a snake, but was spared.  He wasn't even worried.  He was going to Rome.  Robbie repeated it over and over, he knew he was going to Rome.  It didn't matter what happened to him.  It didn't matter how long it took him to get there, because God had told him, he was going to Rome and that's where he would be!  No matter what!

A quality disciple lives in victory.  We won't be brought down by life's circumstances because we know ultimately we are going to be in heaven one day.  We must live in that victory today even if life's circumstances say otherwise.  Paul's hardships heated up after God spoke that to him.  I'm sure Satan was quite determined to make his getting to Rome impossible, but Paul didn't falter in his faith.  If God spoke it, it was going to happen.

I'm not sure exactly what I thought was going to happen when we first took on this debt-reduction plan.  Well, actually, I think I do know what I thought would happen.  I'm pretty sure I thought God was going to be so grateful for our awesome attitude and then, because we were being obedient then He would just bless us, possibly even right away, and make our plan easy and fast.  That has not been the case at all, though we have had tremendous blessings along the way, it has not been easy and certainly not fast.  We've been shipwrecked, imprisoned, bitten by snakes and have had delay after delay!  But we know our destination.  Even if we don't see the freedom we long for in this life, we know ultimately we will have victory in heaven.  We keep our eyes set on "Rome", which is still being debt-free, but know that all our plans are in His hands.  We get angels sent as encouragement along the way.  He reaffirms us all the time.  "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days, and no small tempest lay on us, all hope of our being saved was at last abandoned." (Acts 27:19)  We have had those feelings like the men on the ship at sea.  Sometimes it feels like there is no sun, no stars, no wind, no hope, but just at that moment, God sends those angels and then like Paul, we can say to one another, "So take heart, men, for I have faith in God that it will be exactly as I have been told." (vs.26)  Funnily enough, he then added, "But we must run aground on some island."  (27).  Running aground does not sound like a plan of salvation!  But if that's what God's plan is then, send us aground to an island!  (Actually, I'd love to go to an island....heh heh...)

Scripture is alive with encouragement.  As long as I stay in Scripture, then I'm good.  I'm going to Rome.

Not Just a Widow, But a Mom

Elijah is definitely a great case study of the ups and downs in the life of a prophet.  I can only think his stories are included in the Bible as encouragement to us. 

Elijah was constantly on the run.  Jezebel hated him as he always prophesying against her and Ahab, her husband.  This bothered her so much that she had the prophets of the Lord killed and those that somehow escaped had to hide in caves.  Elijah also had to hide which was how he found himself at the brook, Cherith, being fed by ravens.

Soon after, he met up with the widow and her son, but then the son became sick.  He cried to the Lord, "Have you brought calamity even upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by killing her son?"  He questioned God.  He didn't know why God was allowing this to happen, especially after all that God had done.  He continued to pray, "...let this child's life come into him again."  And miraculously, God healed the boy.  "And the Lord listened to the voice of Elijah.  And the life of the child came into him again, and he revived."  When God answers a prayer, it always blesses more than one person.  Obviously the son was blessed by being healed.  Elijah was blessed as he continued to see God work through him.  But I also think the mother needed to see that miracle as it says, "And the woman said to Elijah, 'Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is truth.'"  She must have had a little doubt in the back of her mind that God needed to confirm for her.  Her words to Elijah probably also spoke to him, encouraging him, God speaking to him through her. 

As much as I like the fact it is a story about Elijah, it is also a story about a mom, one I can relate to.  This mom was happy to help Elijah.....at first.  She obeyed him when he asked her, by faith, to feed him first, then herself and her son.  God rewarded her faithfulness and the oil and the flour didn't run out.  But then, she got tested when her son fell ill, "What have you against me to bring my sin to remembrance and to cause the death of my son!"  She lost all confidence in Elijah, God, and started thinking it was because of sin in her past.  We tend to get like that, too, don't we?  We jump to conclusions that God is doing something to get back at us instead of trusting Him.  She needed a faith lesson.  God used her son and his health, something very close to her heart, to teach her.  We don't like it when it affects us personally.  We'd much rather someone else go through the lesson and then we can learn by watching their lives.  That's just not how it works. 

Whenever a mom gets featured in a Bible story, I pay attention.  This mom had already experience pain in her life where God didn't answer how she hoped, she had lost her husband.  Now she was a widow.  She then when through a time of extreme financial stress where she could no longer feed her one son.  She was doing all she could do right until the end, not giving up, even though she only had enough to make one more meal.  She could have given up and not even bothered to gather sticks for that final meal.  No doubt she was upset at the thought, but she pressed on and that was where Elijah met her, while she was still doing all she could.  She acknowledged, "As the Lord your God lives...." so she knew Elijah must have been a servant of God, but He wasn't her God, He was his.  Perhaps the reason God had Elijah stop there was so that she could learn that He could also be her God.

I find that is where God meets me, too, "gathering sticks".  My stick gathering is almost exactly the same, mundane, routine tasks like doing laundry, making meals, constantly, constantly tidying....but that's where God often sends me an "Elijah".  Sometimes I do get the big miracle, but other times, it is something small and easy to miss, like a quick coffee visit with a friend or a phone call or even a sweet comment from a child.  My 3 year old's saying to me lately is, "I like you, Mommy."  I think that is almost more significant to me than, "I love you".  It's his way of communicating, "You're nice to be around.  I like being with you."  That is the way I feel my "Elijah" moments.

The Bible calls her "the woman" or "the widow", or "the mistress of the house", but she was a mom.  She was just trying to do her best with what she had.  She didn't have much, but she remained faithful with what little faith she had.  Her faith was weak though and God didn't let it stay that way.  It took a near tragedy for her to learn her lesson.  Why did God bother with this mom?  She doesn't even get a name in the Bible.  He looked down and saw her among many moms and chose her.  Maybe after all that God did for her, she went around and ministered to other moms or widows in her area!  Who knows?  You would have thought the oil and flour would have been enough to teach her that God was real and that Elijah could be trusted, but no, she had to learn the hard way.

Elijah prayed on her behalf.  It doesn't record her prayers, but I'm sure she must have prayed, too.  We all need people praying our behalf.  The prayers just need to be honest like Elijah's was, even questioning God can be part of our prayers.

If I could rewrite the headings in the Bible, I would take out "The Widow of Zarephath" and rewrite it as "The Mom Who Needed to Learn a Faith Lesson".

A Living Hope

I can literally thank God for Easter.  Not the casual, slangyp-type way we say, "Thank God!", but with true thanksgiving.  Yesterday's service was wonderful, for many reasons.  It was our children's first opportunity to participate in the service.  Our oldest daughter played piano for the choir and our next daughter sang in the choir.  They both did a great job.  An older grandpa came up to me and complimented my daughter's piano playing saying how wonderful it was to see her play and be a part of the service.  But it wasn't just that.  I couldn't wait to hear the sermon.  That's how hungry I am lately to hear from the Lord these days.  "Speak O Lord" is a song often sung before the sermon and I cry out for that each week.

Our pastor chose an interesting passage, not in the gospels, but in 1 Peter 1:3-9, written by the apostle that had denied Jesus three times.  So interesting to read his letter as he was now convinced in His Saviour.  He'd gotten through his time of doubting, seen his Lord die, but then be raised from the dead, so he could write this with great conviction.

It begins with describing our "living hope".  He could have said just "hope", but it is a living hope.  This means, he said, it is one that is alive, growing, never dying, all because of the resurrection.  Our hope would be dead if He hadn't risen again.  We are also told about our "inheritance" that is "imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time".  We want this inheritance now.  We want our salvation to be revealed now, but Christ's coming, our ultimate salvation is in the future, in heaven.  For now we must remain on earth in our trials, but Peter says, we can "rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials."  This is all throughout Scripture, to rejoice in our trials.  We like to fight them and get discouraged by them.  Last night we read in a book by Martin Lloyd-Jones that Satan loves to send us trials for the strict purpose to discourage us.  Makes sense.  It works!  But Peter says, no, rejoice.  There is a purpose to our trials, which we all know, but we still don't like our trials!  He wrote, "so that the tested genuineness of our faith - more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honour at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

Even gold, when tested and refined for impurities, will still perish if the fire is hot enough.  But not with our faith, the greater the trial, the testing, the refining, the greater the genuineness of our faith.  Impurities do rise to the surface in our testing.  We find out what our faith is really made of and we're shocked that it isn't as great a faith as we once thought.  Each test reveals that our faith needs to be even stronger.  But this is a much better way to see the test, that our faith is being strengthened.  This way we don't question why all the time.

Thomas didn't see Jesus at first.  He was perhaps one of the last disciples to see Him, so he didn't believe He'd risen from the dead.  We also haven't actually seen Jesus, but we have so much evidence of His work in our life, in the world, in the Word of God, in creation.  There is definitely evidence of His existence.  Peter says, "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him.  Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory..."   Jesus told Thomas, "Blessed are those who believe and have not seen."  So though we don't have a lot of answers we love Him, believe in Him and rejoice with joy for what He is doing. 

Peter ends this passage with our purpose.  What is "the outcome of your faith"?  Answer, "the salvation of your souls."  That's it.  With every trial, every situation in our life, the purpose is always the salvation of our souls.  He's always sanctifying us, always growing our faith.  The pastor said that really, every Easter we should say, "This was the best Easter ever!"  and then the next year say, "No, this was the best Easter ever!"  Every year, our faith should be stronger, our belief in what Christ is doing in our lives even greater.  I can truly say that.

We also finished Lent officially.  All throughout Lent we read a children's story about a boy named Amon.  After each reading, the author gave a little devotional.  On Saturday's reading, the day before Easter, we read about the disciples and their confusion.  My husband said to our children, "We can't stay in Saturday.  We've got to move to Sunday."  I love that.  We need to be Sunday Christians, not Friday and Saturday Christians, staying in a place of despair, like the disciples.  Our pastor said it, too, but even taking it a step further, "We can't just have resurrection power on Easter Sunday, we need it on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday......." 

It's a new week, a new day.  Spring is here, though it is cold outside!  We made it through the winter.  Really, there is so much to be hopeful about and excited for.  I woke up to birds singing, roosters crowing...such funny animals.  We have a living hope.  Yes, we have "various trials" and they do "grieve" us sometimes, but we trust that our faith, though tested, becomes genuine, ultimately giving glory to God.

Boardroom Meetings with the Angels

It must be kind of fun to be an angel. We pictured them the other day up in God's boardroom, the archangels, Gabe and Mike.  They were discussing, the M family. 

"Hmmmm...looks like there's a problem of provision down there...what do you think we should do?"  asked Gabe.

"Well, we've done many miracles already.  Do we really need to do another one?"  Mike chimed in.

"I know!  Let's do the raven/brook thing!  I LOVE that one!"  yelled Gabe.

"No, no, no...it's been done.  Wouldn't really work.  I don't think they'd get it, "replied Mike.

"We better act fast, whatever God decides to do, because it looks like they're getting a little concerned...." Gabe said.

"Oh, God knows all about that.  He wants people to trust Him the whole way, even when it seems hopeless,"  Mike answered.

"It must be so hard to be a human!" Gabe observed. 

Well said, well said.  The only thing that is different is that I would gladly take the raven/brook miracle!!!

Yesterday was Good Friday.  We've never related to the disciples as much as we have this year.  We sat through the service at a church we had combined services with and the Scriptures they read were just so powerful.  The disciples had a plan.  Jesus was going to save them!  But then the plan went terribly wrong.  Their Saviour was seemingly unable to save Himself.  How confusing that must have been for them....at least at first in those first few hours.  He wasn't supposed to die let alone even find Himself on a cross in the first place!  He had the power to save people, cure people, but then when He had the chance, stayed there, resigned to die, or so it seemed, on the cruel cross.

Hopelessness.  That must have been what they felt.  Yet...a miracle was only two days away.  The miracle of all miracles.  Jesus would rise from the dead!  Unbelievable!  His death was necessary to bring them and the rest of the world life. 

We know the end of their story.  The problem is we don't know the end of our's.  We find ourselves in a story similar to the disciples.  Things are just not going to so well.  We are at a crucial decision point.  Not unlike Elijah where he was in the middle of a terrible drought, yes, he was fed by ravens, morning and night and was by the brook Cherith, but he found that his brook dried up!  All the typical work we normally have by this time of year, just didn't come.  I actually think that is ok in some ways because I think God is opening a door for RM in another area, but what do you do in the meantime while you wait for that door to open?  We don't see any other brooks around!

The really great part in the Elijah story is that God didn't just leave him by the dried up brook, though it would have been totally within His power to bring more water and more ravens.  No, He told Elijah to go to the widow and her son who was collecting wood for her last meal before she and her son died.  She, too, was lacking provision - to the very last bit of flour and oil, when Elijah showed up and asked her for it.  He told her to make him a cake of bread first and then feed herself, the nerve!  But actually, he said something fairly critical before he said that to her.  He said, "Do not fear..."  Then he tells her why, "The jar of flour shall not be spent , and the jug of oil shall not be empty , until the day that the Lord send rain upon the earth."  (1 Kings 17:14).   So she did what she was told and "she and her household ate for many days.  The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the jug of oil become empty.."

They ate for many days.  The flour didn't run out and the oil never became empty.  Not only did Elijah get sent their for his own sustenance, but in the process, saved a family.  I love how God works!

For us, our brook of work is drying up.  We feel like we know where "the widow" lives and we know she has provision, so to speak, but we can't afford the ticket to get to her house!  What then?!  We need an intermediary miracle!  This is where we are fighting a little bit with God and where we relate so well to the disciples this year.   We're a little confused, like they were.  RM may need to seek out a "regular" job in the field he used to do before going out on his own.  That isn't so bad and he is willing to do so, but it just means a GIANT step backwards in the real work he wants to go after, in his entrepreneurial businesses. It is very difficult to pursue both.  But, if that is what God wants us to do, we will do it.  Perhaps that will be His way of provision, even if we don't like it.  Maybe Elijah felt the same way.  Maybe he just wanted to stay by the brook.  Maybe he didn't like the idea of "commuting" to the widow.  Please, Lord, don't make us commute again!

Yet, the disciples, and the rest of the world, experienced a miracle that first Easter morning, like no miracle the world has ever seen.  God could do that for us, too.  We know He can do anything.  He could turn our circumstances around in a heartbeat.  The key phrase with Elijah was "Do not fear..."  Jesus, also, tried to comfort His disciples in the last hours before His death, "Let not your hearts be troubled..."  He knew what was ahead, even though they had no idea.

RM and I prayed last night, on Good Friday, just the two of us, about our time of darkness and confusion. We had heard of a friend, a very successful friend, who had gone through bankruptcy.  It shook both of us up and got us on our knees again, and kept us there a little longer even.  I sensed kids coming and going all around us as we sat together praying.  At least they'll have  a picture of their parents coming before God with their needs and requests.  We're a little confused, a little fearful, a little hopeful...all at the same time.  We know God has come through in the last minute many times, but we also know He can use situations that we don't like to try us as well.  We know either way, we have to accept what He brings our way.  In the meantime, we love Easter weekend.  We know our hearts don't need to be troubled.  Jesus said it so simply, "Believe in God.''  And so we do.

Whatever Prayer, Whatever Plea

RM made a loooong trip the other day out to visit a customer.  He was quite sure it would result in work, but this was the thing....they wanted him to work for free.  How is that even possible?  He was so discouraged when he came home.  It makes you wonder how you are supposed to make a living?  Are you supposed to charge less so you get the work, but then struggle all the time?  I don't think so.  I love how even the Bible addressed this very fact yesterday.

David had longed to build the temple for God, but God had had another plan.  He was going to have Solomon, his son, build it.  Hiram, king of Tyre, had been a friend of David's and would have been the guy to help build the temple, but he had to wait as well (no contract?) However, once Solomon was king, he "sent word to Hiram".  He told him to get started on building the temple (contract awarded?), "And my servants will join your servants, and I will pay you for your servants such wages as you set..." (1 Kings 5:6).  Did you notice that?  Solomon promised to pay Hiram!  Whatever wage HE determined.  Solomon didn't expect him to work for free.

Then, a few verses down, it records what Hiram says, "And you shall meet my wishes by providing for my household." (5:9).  There you have it.  We weren't nuts after all.  Even Solomon saw the wisdom in paying for the work that Hiram was providing.  Hiram knew he needed to feed his family!  He set a wage that he figured was fair and he expected Solomon to pay it, which he did....he didn't even question what Hiram demanded.  I was able to share this with RM as an encouragement to persevere!  It's ok to expect to get paid for the work you do!  Our family needs to eat!   We don't have to work for free!

As I said, Hiram would have been the one to build the temple if David had gotten the go-ahead, but he had to wait for the "contract".  Once he was told the news that "the contract had been awarded", the temple was being built, it says, "As soon as Hiram heard the words of Solomon, he rejoiced greatly..."  No doubt!  Ok, perhaps a bit of a stretch, making it sound like the temple was a contract, but seriously, it occurred to me, if RM doesn't get work from this customer, it's ok.  A different contract will come at a different time.  Hiram had to wait.  We'll have to wait.  We don't have to get worried when it appears work isn't coming from the source we expect.  But, if and when it comes, we, too, will rejoice like Hiram!

As usual, God has a way of encouraging us along the road.  I need encouragement as much as RM.  I had been pleading with RM for a computer for a verrrry long time.  We had many times put a computer order in a shopping cart on-line, but had never been able to get it.  I had to be patient.  But I prayed.  I told God, "I need a computer that works!"  Each laptop we had kept falling apart or having issues.  I gave up.  I figured if God wanted me to have a computer, I'd get a computer.  It just didn't seem meant to be.

Then, last week, out of the blue, I got a call from a friend, "Hey, do you want a computer?"  "Sure.....?" I said hesitantly, as often computer gifts are more like computer dinosaurs.  She knew someone who was giving one away and was quite sure it was a good computer, so I said, "I'll take it!" as her family didn't need it.  I couldn't believe it, was I really getting a computer?!  It showed up on Sunday.  We took it out of the box.  It was as good as new.  It turned on.  It worked!  My kids were so excited!  What can I say except it was another blessing from heaven!  It was such a specific answer to prayer.  I'm begging my kids to not wreck this one.  Thank you, dear friend, soooooo much for passing this on to us!  I'm so grateful!!!!!!

When Solomon eventually finished the temple, he dedicated it to the Lord.  His prayer of dedication was wonderful.  I would include the whole thing, but it is very long.  What struck me was how he acknowledged, of course, "heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you; how much less this house that I have built! YET have regard to the prayer of your servant and to his plea, O Lord my God, listening to the cry and to the prayer that your servant prays before you this day.....whatever prayer, whatever plea is made by man or by all your people Israel, each knowing the affliction of his own heart and stretching out his hands towards this house, then hear in heaven your dwelling place and forgive and act and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways (for you, you only, know the hearts of all the children of mankind)...(1Kings 8:27, 28, 38, 39)

That sums it all up - God didn't need a temple, but Solomon asked that He would still "have regard" for his humble prayer, despite the fact he knew how small he was.  He asked that whoever came into the temple to pray would be heard, no matter what the prayer, no matter what the plea.  We all have different afflictions, different requests, yet we all stretch our hands towards heaven.  We also ask that God would hear us and that He would "forgive and act and render to each heart" what we ask for.  At the end of his prayer he says, "Let your eyes be open to the pleas of your servant and to the plea of your people Israel, giving ear to them whenever they call to you." (vs. 52) 

God hears our prayers.  Big requests and small requests.  Not getting the work when we expected it was a bit of disappointment, but we brought it before the Lord and if RM is meant to get it, he will. Getting the computer may seem like a trivial thing, but it was huge to me.  In the big picture of life, I know I would have been ok if I never had a computer.  I had been getting by fine by using RM's when I needed to.  But I count it such a blessing!  We had also prayed for my sister's health.  She got back the great news that she is cancer free!  That is a really big answer to prayer!  We're so grateful!  God heard our plea here, too! 

I'm pretty sure Solomon wasn't thinking of me when he prayed that prayer of dedication, but God knew I would exist one day!  Those words were included in the Bible for me to read, to know that my pleas would be heard, the big ones and the small ones.  It says, "whatever prayer, whatever pleas" would be made.  My afflictions will not be the same as someone else's, but God will hear their pleas as well.  Of course, the answers don't always come as we hope or expect, but that doesn't mean He hasn't heard us.  I've learned that lesson.  He still hears us.  He still answers.

Loving the Road Less Traveled

This weekend was the 3rd Bible quiz meet for the year.  One more to go.  This time it was on 3 books of the Bible - Galatians, Ephesians, and Philippians.  I don't know how they do it, memorizing at least 5 verses a day, but somehow they do.  One of the teams got Top Team award which was really exciting!  I invited another family to come and watch just so they could be inspired and perhaps be interested in starting a Bible Quizzing League or team in their area.  What a better way to spend your time!

Being the bold person that I am and one who loves to visit people and make new friends, I asked this family if they didn't mind "babysitting" me and maybe a couple of my kids while the kids were quizzing.  They were very gracious and had us back to their house while the older kids finished up at the quiz meet.

At first, one of my kids was not happy.  He did not want to go to leave the church where they were quizzing.  He felt that he would be missing out, but we knew he would just be running around like a crazy man, so we decided for him....he was going with me.  What a good decision!

This friend's house was out of a kid's dream!  For Christmas, they had built a climbing wall for their children (all 9 of them!) in a unique little room in their house - 15 ft. high!  My son just about lost his mind when he saw that.  Then they hung giant rings from the ceiling, like the ones gymnasts use.  He played on those for hours!  In addition to all that, they also hung a rope from the ceiling, like the ones they used to use when I was in elementary school, where you had to see how high you could climb?  My little 5 year old/monkey could nearly make it to the top.  It was funny to see the quandary it put him in - how do I get down without jumping and without getting a rope burn!  He chose rope burn.

I explained to this mom how awesome it was, but I also was scared to death all afternoon that one of my kids would die, but they assured me, no one had been hurt since they set it all up.  And no one did get hurt.  I had to just relax!  I explained to her I was very confused why God gave me 5 boys.  She also had 5 boys, so she got it. 

Her home was also very unique in that she used every space possible to have her family thinking about "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable..." (Phil. 4:8)  She did this by using up all blank space in her home.  I'm not talking about a few plaques on the wall, though she did have that, too.  No, she had painted beautiful verses, poetry, sayings, Scripture...all throughout her house.  On the floor, on the walls of the bathroom....everywhere!  You couldn't miss her very intentional desire to have her children inspired to think about what Paul desired we would think about in that verse in Philippians. 

My favourite poem of all time was written on the dividing board between two rooms, on the floor.  Everyday her kids probably step over it and don't even notice it anymore.  I'm sure I did many times that day, too.  But it is one to not miss and to reflect on every day.  It is the famous poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.   That poem is one of the most amazing poems of all time.  I love that she included that in one of the most central rooms of her house.  It describes the life of a Christian, taking the road less traveled.  It describes the life a homeschooler, taking the road less traveled.  It describes the life of a large family, taking the road less traveled.  But the final line is the kicker, "And that has made all the difference."  I love that line!  Being a Christian, homeschooling mom of a large family has not been easy, definitely the road less traveled, compared to most, and I, like Robert Frost can easily say, "And that has made all the difference."    Both our families eventually joined up for dinner when the quizzing was over, there were 22 of us (if you include the baby in her womb!).  It was nuts!  There were literally kids swarming around her house, but the 4 adults sat there like nothing was going on.  Once in a while we heard a scream as my 3 year old was melting down from his loooong day and his earllllly morning as we had to get him up after 6 am, but most of the time it was just a dull roar in the background, as kids swung literally from the ceiling all around us or literally climbed the walls beside us.  Hilarious!   Her meal was enough for an army, but she's just used to that, as she has an army!  I was asked once in the grocery store if I was feeding an orphanage.  I'm sure she gets asked the same.  We all enjoyed ourselves so much as we were all on the same page, in the midst of raising lots of kids, figuring out life, figuring out what our husbands want to do when they grow up, trying to solve the mysteries of raising kids, trying to have our husbands around yet providing at the same time, trying to raise entrepreneurial-minded children (both of her sons passed us business cards before the night was over basically saying "Hire us!  We can do anything!")  I loved that.  Changing diapers, but having a vision for the province and community around us!  Wiping noses, but wondering how God can use us outside our homes.  Doing everyday tasks yet wondering how our skills sets can be used not just now, but in the future.  Our brains were going crazy as we talked and visioned and got excited about all the possibilities!  That is true Christian fellowship!  I loved that, too.....we could have talked all day and all night.....   Her home had an indoor pool at one time, but the owner before her filled it in and put a floor on top of it, so they have a mega-family room with super high ceilings.  It is the perfect room to host events and they've done that.  Such a blessing to be able to use your home for the glory of God.   All in all, a very full, inspiring weekend.  Our kids left full to the top with Scripture, a few awards, full tummies, and minds, inspired by all that her kids were up to.   I wondered how many would wake up the next morning with very sore muscles from all the climbing!  We decided it was a good idea we didn't live next to each other, though we wanted to, as we knew all we would do was hang around and never talk to anyone else.  I love how God places each family in the exact place He wants them.  I told her of many families we know all around North America really that are doing amazing things.  It sometimes feels like we are so isolated, but really we are just a click away from knowing these other families.  God doesn't want us all in a commune only ministering to one another.  He knows that's what we are prone to do if left to ourselves.   However, we do need one another once in awhile to be inspired, to connect, to have our children see what other large families are doing.  It was such a great time and I think we were all sad to have to say goodbye.   But to continue on with the verse from Philippians, now we have a responsibility, "What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." (4:9)  We literally learned, received, heard and saw many great things that day, from their family, even from their walls and floors!  Now we have to go and practice these things, be inspiring to another family, or whatever it is that God wants us to do.   I told this mom, I nearly missed the opportunity to visit them.  I really hardly knew her.  I sheepishly asked her if she wanted to connect via email.  I really didn't know if she would be open to the idea as she also hardly knew me!  But, that's the fruit of going out on a limb.  We were both blessed that day.  Thanks for having us!!!!!                           	20


Mustering the Mighty Men

Life...and death...on the farm.  Four little kittens were born a couple nights ago, but sadly, one didn't make it.  No particular reason.  We think the mommy cat somehow got separated from it right after birth, perhaps another kitten was coming (we were unaware she was giving birth), and the poor little kitty got cold and missed the critical "milk window".

The animal life cycle parallels our human life cycle.  I'll be at a funeral later on today, but I also heard of new life growing in another friend this week.  Life and death.  It will be sad to know this woman is no longer with her family, but there will also be great rejoicing as she is in heaven.

This week was officially "March Break".  Many homeschoolers don't follow the public systems holidays and do things on their own schedules, but we look forward to the breaks and take advantage of certain programs or events that are only offered at March Break.  We go to the library and see hilarious jugglers or we do the maple syrup events.  Those things have become traditions for our children and I love the change of pace.

For the second year in a row my daughter has offered a little sewing camp for girls.  She nearly cancelled as she didn't have a huge number of girls sign up, but we encouraged her to do it no matter how many as we wanted her to invest in our little 7 year old daughter.  We said, "Do it just for her."  She wasn't so sure it was worth it, but I think, now that the week is almost over, she seeshow it was worth it.  My little girl is sewing up a storm!  I think she's made 7 pillows!  She made a banner almost entirely herself, a purse, and today, a skirt.  She is so adept at using the machine now that I am amazed myself.  The other girls are learning a lot, too, and all the moms who drop them off each day are surprised at how quickly they picked up the skill of sewing.

What I have enjoyed the most was having my daughter home. Yes, she's making money, too, which is a bonus, but it is so neat that she hasn't had to drive anywhere.  Her "job" is working out of the house.  If and when she ever gets married and has children, I can totally envision her doing this as a way of making a little money on the side someday.  It's such a blessing!

Meanwhile, two of the other children volunteered at a day camp where my son made candles each day from beeswax.  My daughter worked in the kitchen or dining room running around serving people.  Each night, my older kids come back exhausted!  I laugh.  My oldest said, "This has not been March BREAK, it has been March WORK!!!!"  Yes, it was, yes it was, and I love it!  Perhaps the majority of kids were sleeping in, and that's ok, I did, too, but I'm so glad they sacrificed the majority of their week to work.  We were created to work!  It is showing them how it is hard to make money.  It is showing them that sacrifice is involved.  Two of them made no money at all, but they learned so much by volunteering and serving others.  It is another thing they can add to their resumes!  It will only help them in their future.

So, clearly they didn't get a lot of sympathy from us when they were super tired, but we encouraged them to hang in there.  Dad didn't get March Break.  "What's that?" he says.  I got a lovely break from schoolwork, but no break from making meals, grocery shopping, laundry, raising rambunctious kids....no, I didn't get a March Break the way I would have liked perhaps, but it's ok!  I love my "job".

I read 5 words in 2 Samuel 18 that really jumped out at me last week and I haven't been able to stop thinking about them,

"Then David mustered the men...."  I looked up the definition for "mustered" as I loved that word.  It means to "rally, raise, summon, assemble.....often in preparation for battle".  I knew I loved that word for a reason!  That's what we've been doing with our kids all week, mustering them up for battle.  The battle against sloth.  The battle against our flesh that longs to stop, wondering if it's "worth it", like my daughter wondered.  But now the week is almost over and they are reflecting back on the incredible fulfilling week they've had even though they worked so hard.  I'm not saying we don't need breaks.  We do and we sure get them, don't worry, but I think sometimes we get more than we need and I think that can breed an appetite for hating work, resenting work. 

I muster the kids each morning.  "C'mon!  Let's get our laundry put away!  C'mon!  Let's go do our rooms!"  I think as a mom it is my job to "muster" the kids.  Laundry is certainly a form of battle in our house!

I muster up my husband when he is weary from doing battle, too.  2 Samuel reminds me how important it was that David mustered his men.  Right at the end of the book, his mighty men are described,especially his top 3.  Each one became famous for doing something particularly outstanding.  One "wielded his spear against 800 whom he killed at one time."  One "rose and struck down the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clung to the sword."  One "took his stand in the midst of the plot and defended it and struck down the Philistines, and the Lord worked a great victory." (2 Samuel 23:8, 10, 12)  What I loved about these 3 mighty men and why they stood out above the rest was because they didn't give up when it got hard.  Everyone else it seems had fled, but they pressed on.  Even though they were weary, they wouldn't let go of their weapons, but kept fighting.  The Lord "worked a great victory" because of their determination.  I'm sure David's rallying kept them going, too.  That is my job.  I must muster up my kids, my husband, rally them up, raise them up for battle not just once a month, but every single day!  Sometimes many times a day!  What a privilege to know it will bring great victory in their lives because they are becoming mighty men and women of God. 

I'm sure the men who worked for David never knew that what they did was anything special, but there they are, names written in the Bible for everyone to read for thousands of years.  Not the most common names - Josheb-basshebeth, Eeazar, and Shammah.  No one talks about these guys, but to me, they are the types of men I want my children (and husband) to emulate.  Ok, not killing 800 people of course, but fighting till the bitter end?  Yes.  Not giving up or dropping their weapons even though they are so weary?  Yes.  Defending their "plot", whatever that plot may be in their future?  Yes.

He had many many men in his army, but only 37 were considered "mighty".  To be considered mighty was an honour, but it didn't come without a cost.  These guys weren't sitting around relaxing.  They were often in battle on the king's behalf.   And there were only a few who stood out.

I see signs of "mightiness".   I will keep rallying my troops......

Our High Priest and a Story of Miraculous Provision

We have daily issues over here with our kids.  The little tots are always getting into minor scraps with one another.  As each little thing comes up we try to deal with it the best way we know how.  Once in awhile, though, we're stumped.  Not only do we not know what to do, but we, as parents, aren't always in agreement as to how to handle it.  I won't name children, nor the offence, but it was definitely an obedience issue and we thought we'd been clear, but the same thing kept coming up over and over.   RM was starting to feel his frustration levels rising and I was trying to back up the child explaining, "Perhaps they just didn't know this was wrong?" I was trying to keep things calm and peaceful in the home.  Hmmm.....this was all right before church.  Never a good time to feel frustrated, but a classic attack from the enemy.  I was so grateful for church that morning, however, because without knowing it, the pastor gave us a word, directly from Scripture on how to handle our situation.

We were reading from Hebrews 5.  The writer was speaking about how every high priest in the old testament was "chosen", "appointed" and "called by God".  He was to "act on behalf of men", "to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins".  He was also to "deal gently with the ignorant and wayward since he himself is beset with weakness". 

Last week I wrote about how RM is the king in our home, but he is also the high priest.  It is his job to make sure the spiritual climate in our home is good.  When he identifies sinful behaviour in our children, it is his job to take care of it, by pointing it out, talking with the child, praying with him/her and then keeping them accountable.  This passage we had just read was that great reminder of this role.  As the high priest in our home, he is "chosen", "appointed", "called by God" for this role as Dad.  Instead of killing a goat or some other animal, now he can simply go to the Lord on behalf of our children and say, "What do I do?"  He can bring our child before the throne of grace and ask humbly for help when he doesn't know what to do.  By doing this he is "acting on behalf of men (or children) in relation to God".  That is the way he can "offers gifts and sacrifices for sins".  He simply prays.

The passage even dealt with how to do this when he feels the frustration levels rising.  It reminded him "He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward."    Isn't that the perfect description of a child, "ignorant and wayward"?  The reason he must act gently is because he himself has to admit his humanity, "he himself is beset with weakness".  So there is no lording authority over anyone around here without first admitting weakness ourselves.   Again, no lamb needs to be sacrificed like it would have been in the Old Testament, but he (and I) must go before the Lord and "sacrifice for our own sins just as he does for those of the people".  We have to first ask for forgiveness for our own sins before we start pointing out the speck in our children's eyes.

As the passage went on, it described Jesus, the perfect high priest.  He "offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence." (5:7)  The pastor wondered out loud what Jesus would have been praying about.  Jesus knew He came to die and though He didn't want to suffer the agony of death, what was it that made Him cry with "loud cries and tears"?  He suggested that perhaps what was causing Him the most agony was the thought of disobeying.  Nothing could have made Him more upset than to disobey the Father's will for His life.  It went on to say, "he learned obedience through what he suffered".  It struck me there in the middle of the service that we must teach our children this type of thinking.  They must be more like Jesus in their thoughts towards obedience.  Well, we all must be, really.  It must make us want to cry out with "loud cries and tears", "Lord, please keep me from ever disobeying you!"  However, the truth is, with little kids, it's more often, "Help me not to get caught!" or with older kids, "Help me to get away with as much as I can!"  We don't have that same attitude that Jesus did. 

That same phrase, "learned obedience" also made me realize not only do we need to teach our children to learn obedience, but to "learn disobedience".  What?  Learn disobedience?  Yes.  With our children, it isn't that they are disobeying intentionally, they just don't seem to understand what we consider disobedience.  I'll often say to one of my kids, "Please don't speak to me like that.  That is disrespect."  "What did I say?"  he'll reply.  He honestly doesn't seem to know.  I've had to teach him what I consider to be disrespectful. 

After the service, RM and I had a great conversation about the Hebrews passage and how it had been so enlightening.  It was a great reminder that we expect a lot from our children, but really, we are "beset with weakness" ourselves.  We are easily frustrated by them, but we are to "deal gently" with our "wayward and ignorant" children.  That night, we had our own evening service.  We went through the passage again as a family, discussing how it applied to our home, our parenting.  We pressed the restart button AGAIN.  It had been one of those days that started out with an "I quit" feeling.  Parenting is too hard.  When will they move out?  But, thanks be to God and to His Word that is "living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword" we were brought back to parenting life with renewed hope that we could do it.  We could raise these 8 kids with His help.  What do people do who don't have God's Word?

One last story, or should I say MIRACLE.  I'm once again in awe of God's provision for us.  A week ago, the Sunday before, our church had made a call out to the congregation about a benevolent need.  Supposedly a family in the church was in dire need so they were asking for everyone to give generously.  I had asked for prayer with our ladies' group for work for RM several weeks earlier, but I hadn't said we were in "dire need".  I was sure hoping they weren't collecting for us!  We were fairly certain it wasn't us because they had mentioned that this family needed a car.  Whew!  You know times are tough when you wonder if you are the family they are collecting for!  We really didn't have any extra cash to give, but we gave what we could and that was that.

A few days later, someone showed up at our door.  It was an older woman I've come to know since we  moved here.  She is one of those women who just exudes kindness, love, wisdom.  A true Titus 2 woman.  I've shared with her in the past our journey, some of our ups and downs.  She's only been compassionate and full of encouragement to stay strong, to trust God, just what you would expect to hear from a woman of God.  She had never been to our house before so I wondered what she was up to.  She came in with flowers, a book and an envelope.  She explained there was a woman she knew whom I have never met, that has been convicted to tithe.  She will give money to this friend of mine and say, "You know more people than I do, give this to whomever you think needs it."  She felt compelled to give it to us.  I couldn't believe it.  The irony of receiving that money on the week our church had been collecting for another family in need hit me.  We had wondered if they had been collecting for us!  They weren't.  We were so relieved as it we didn't want to be that needy family!  How humiliating!  How embarrassing!  Yet God was collecting for us without us even knowing it.  The truth is, the timing was perfect.  I didn't know what to say.  Some stranger blessed us.  It was another tangible hug from God.  I know He knows our situation.  That is clear!  It is humbling.  I don't even really like to write about it.  I didn't want to receive the gift!  I didn't want to need the gift!  But to reject it would have not been right either.  This stranger was being obedient.  What an incredible gesture.

Every day I'm in awe of how God works.  This week, I received tremendous hope from God's Word and encouragement from a stranger, both are blessings from God, one is intangible, the other very tangible.  Both were key to me not just getting through another week, scraping by, but being lifted up on eagle's wings, soaring, flying through the week!  These trials are no longer being seen by me as something to avoid, but as God's way of speaking to me.  He so clearly uses them to create a dependency that just wouldn't be there otherwise.  The devotional I read this week described our trials as "necessary" to the Christian life.  I see that and that keeps me from fighting them like I used to.

Curses, Stones and Dust

Well, I don't know too much yet, but I understand the surgery went well and that the doctors were pleased.  My sister is in pain though, so I hope the doctors and nurses managed to keep that under control.  For any who prayed, thank you!  Don't stop!

Yesterday I wrote about the attack on David.  I reflected all day on the particular attack.  I realized we often go through attacks like that.  Satan gets personal.  David had fled from Jerusalem because Absalom was conspiring to take over his kingdom.  David was already under tremendous stress and, no doubt, discouraged.  When he got to Bahurim, "There came out a man of the family of the house of Saul...and as he came he cursed continually."  Poor David, wasn't he already under attack, why more?  It got worse before it got better though.  "And he threw stones at David and all the servants of the King David..." (2 Sam. 16:6)  Not only did he get cursing, but stones as well!  Nice!

The actual words in his cursing cut deep, "Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man!"  David was a man of blood, but God had been with him in all that fighting.  Of course an enemy would turn that on him. Calling him a worthless man?  Can there be any insult more personal than that?  It also says, "he cursed continually".  Sometimes the enemy's attacks are relentless, or at least that's how it seems.

RM is our king.  Our family, our farm, his kingdom.  Lately there has been a lack of work.  Many repairs needed around the house and farm.  Discouragement with a project he's been working on. Broken machines.  Then, on top of it all, a wife who once in a while questions him, which can make him feel like "a worthless man".  Add it all up and he finds himself listening to the voice on his shoulder from the enemy saying it, too, "You are a worthless man."  A cloud can settle in over his head and the battle for his kingdom takes place between his ears.

It was so good to read about this attack in the Bible.  It was real.  It must have hurt.  Yet David didn't give in.  He didn't succumb.  He didn't even fight back, though his men wanted him to.  Yet, he didn't pretend this man didn't exist.  He acknowledged he was there.  His way of dealing with him was recognizing the Lord's role, "It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing today." (16:12)  In a way, I feel like he was admitting, "I don't know why this is happening, but I'm going to trust God for how this might bring good into my life some day."

Amazingly, they went on "while Shemei went along on the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went and threw stones at him and flung dust."  What would that have been like?  It's hard to imagine that the whole time he was walking, the other guy walked opposite him, cursing, throwing stones and flinging dust!  Yikes!  Yet that is often our experience.  We decide to ignore the voice in our head that tells us we are "worthless" yet that doesn't make the attack go away.  Satan keeps walking opposite us, cursing us, throwing stones and flinging dust....at least that is how it feels.  We are told in James that if we resist the devil, he'll flee from us, and he does, but sometimes he comes right back.

I think this passage of Scripture was incredibly helpful.  It was good to read that there is an enemy out there.  It was good to see that David didn't pretend he didn't exist.  In a way he did resist him, but in God's strength.  He recognized it would have been a waste of time to fight the man, especially if God was using this attack in his life in some way.  And then, it was good to read that sometimes, even when you do everything right, the enemy follows, relentlessly attacking, determining to try to ruin you or at the very least bug you with curses, stones and even dust.  What an insult...dust.

RM needed to hear this passage as sometimes we think it's just us.  Sometimes we fall into the enemy's trap.  RM will hear the words, "You are a worthless man" and he'll believe it.

My job is to recognize that the attack is going on and to be one of his "mighty men".  I'll gather the kids and they also become his mighty men "on his right hand and on his left". (2 Sam.16:6)  We'll surround him in prayer trying to protect him from the enemy's curses, stones and dust.  David arrived "weary at the Jordan".  But "there he refreshed himself."  Can I be the one who refreshes him?  I need to be.  I appreciate the fact the Bible includes real life stories where even kings get discouraged and weary.  My king gets discouraged, too.

Beds, Barley, and Basins

Another battle for David.  His own son is conspiring against him.  It must just seem too much to handle.  I think of my sister who is facing the knife today.  It must seem surreal.  I think of another friend who feels like she is facing one setback after another.  Will our battles ever end?

David didn't know.  He couldn't see into the future.  He was forced to leave his palace and go back into the wilderness where he had just come from a short time ago.  I'm sure this seemed surreal to him, too.  Perhaps, like us, he asked, "Didn't I learn the lessons I was supposed to learn last time I was here?  Do I really have to go here again!?"

It was a test of loyalty for those who followed him.  Would they stand my him or side with his son, Absalom, who had now turned against him?  David even gave them a chance to leave.  One man in particular, Ittai, was told by David to turn back, but Ittai answered the king, "As the Lord lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king shall be, whether for death or for life, there also will your servant be." (2 Sam. 15:21).  My sister is finding this out, too, right now....all the people who are loyal to her.  A quick two week list of meals was sent out to the church, asking if people would be willing to sign up to help out her family.  It was filled up in very short matter of time, leaving some frustrated that they didn't get to sign up, too!  Loyal friends.  Willing to serve.  She's also been receiving cards in the mail daily, encouraging her.  Do we get sent into the wilderness for other reasons?  Is it possible that we get sent there to find God?  Hmm....that's a twist....we don't normally think that the wilderness is where we'll meet God.

Later, David is still wandering in the wilderness and a servant of Mephibosheth meets him, "with a couple of donkeys saddled, bearing two hundred loaves of bread, a hundred bunches of raisins, a hundred of summer fruits, and a skin of wine."  David asked, "Why have you brought these?"  The servant answered, "The donkeys are for the king's household to ride on, the bread and summer fruit for the young men to eat, and the wine for those who faint in the wilderness to drink."  He had thought of everything.  What an encouragement this must have been for David.  Being in the wilderness is not an easy place to be, but God often uses people in our lives to remind us He's with us even in the lonely places.  He often brings us donkeys to ride on, food to eat and wine for the faint at heart. 

However, Satan lurks in the wilderness, too.  He knows we're already down and it's almost as if he wants to make sure we stay there, discouraged, frustrated, depressed.  Right after this amazing encouragement, David passed by a men who started cursing him calling him "a worthless man".  How awful that must have been!  But David didn't fight back, though his men wanted to take the guy out.  He told his men, "Leave him alone, and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.  It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me, and that the Lord will repay me with god for his cursing today." (16:11, 12)  It's hard to imagine that the Lord told the man to curse him, but maybe He did!  Either way, God allowed it.  David chose to take it in stride and to see that God was sovereign, in control and that is was up to God to handle it ultimately.  David didn't need to return evil for evil.  It does say only a few verses later though that "the king, and all the people that were with him, arrived weary at the Jordan." (vs. 14)  I can see that!  Wandering in the wilderness, getting cursed - it's a lot to take!  I'm sure he wondered when it would end.  Yet, there they were at the Jordan, "And there he refreshed himself."  Give us refreshement, Lord! 

It seems to go hand in hand.  Weariness, yet an opportunity for refreshment.  Blessings, but then cursing.  I guess we shouldn't be so surprised when it happens in our own life.  Right in the middle of his struggle, David gets another blow.  He gets word that an attack is about to happen, but he's got the inside scoop, so he makes sure he crosses the Jordan, just in time.  Once again, a very difficult time, but more supplies are sent.  Two men "brought beds, basins, and earthen vessels, wheat, barley, flour, parched grain, beans and lentils, honey and curds and sheep and cheese from the herd, for David and the people with him to eat for they said, 'The people are hungry and weary and thirsty in the wilderness.'" (17:28).  So often, that is how we can encourage one another when we see another friend struggling.  With food!  Why is that so effective?  When I think through my day, so much of it is meal planning, meal prepping, shopping for the meal, cleaning up the meal.  If someone were to come in and take that burden off of me, I would be so grateful!  That is why going to a restaurant is so awesome!  It's not because the food is any better than I could make at home (though it often is!), but it's because I don't make it, shop for it, or clean it up afterwards!  Making a meal for someone allows them to be weary and/or to grieve without adding more weariness or more grief.

I'm already hearing amazing stories of encouragement about the body of Christ stepping in to help my sister.  None of these people helping her are taking away her cancer or are taking away her physical pain, but they are lifting her up emotionally.  They are meeting her in her weariness, in her wilderness. 

So many wander in the wilderness.  We all have our own different wilderness, the wilderness of sickness, marriage, debt, loss.  Reading about David and those who came alongside him is a good reminder to get out of my wilderness and help someone else in their's!  I get so inward focused.  Seeing others struggle is good for me in a way as it takes my eyes off myself and it reminds me that the universe doesn't actually revolve around me.  I need to get myself some "beds, barley and basins" and head out to find someone I can encourage, keeping my eyes open for those who are "hungry, weary and thirsty".

Imploring God

This week my heart goes out to my sister.  Only a few short weeks ago, she found out she has endometrial cancer.  She will be having surgery on Wednesday.  Only a few days later another friend's son will also have major surgery.  Of course we are all trusting the Lord for the best results.  Thankfully both families know the Lord and are relying on Him for everything.

I had been reading in 2 Samuel last week about David.  Once he was rebuked by Nathan, the son he had with Bathsheba got very sick.  David fasted, refusing to eat, hoping to turn God's heart so that the punishment wouldn't be so severe.  When I looked at the study notes there was a cross reference to Ezra 8, another place in Scripture referring to fasting.  This is what it said,

"Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from him a safe journey for ourselves, our children, and all our goods.  For I was ashamed to ask the king for a band of soldiers and horsemen to protect us against the enemy on our way, since we had told the king, 'The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him.' So we fasted and implored our God for this and he listened to our entreaty." (8:21-23)

Seeing as we are still in the middle of Lent, it made sense to continue on in whatever form of fasting each one was doing, but then it occurred to me that this could be something I could specifically be fasting for in light of my sister and this friend.  Ezra called a fast "that we might humble ourselves before our God".  I always tell people who might be questioning the idea of fasting that it is not magic. It is showing our reliance on God.  I heard in a message this week that "Have mercy on me" is the most prayed prayer in the Bible.  The speaker on the radio said that is shows our reliance on God.  God has set it up this way.  We cannot do anything on our own, so we pray, we cry out for mercy, we fast. 

I cannot do the surgery on my sister, but I can pray.  David prayed for his sick son, too.  In his case, the Lord had determined that the son would die.  As soon as he died, David immediately stopped fasting as he saw that the Lord had decided to not heal him.  In our case, we are not sure what God's plan is for my sister and this other friend, so we can still fast.  There is still much hope.  Like Ezra, we are fasting for a "safe journey for ourselves, our children, and all our goods."  The surgery will be like a journey for her and her family.  We are praying for a safe journey for the surgeons while they are inside her body seeking to cut out all the cancer.  We are praying for her children.  She has 5.  For her husband, a pastor of a large church, who is being watched every moment to see how he handles this.  What a test for their family!

The passage has such a beautiful ending, "So we fasted and implored our God for this AND HE LISTENED TO OUR ENTREATY."  With David, it was a different answer.  With Ezra, God listened to them.  My new favourite word is "implored".  I looked it up.  It means to "beg someone to do something desperately or earnestly.  It also means "have mercy".  I'm imploring God, begging Him desperately take care of my sister and her family.  We all have a time to die.  Even if my sister comes through this with flying colours, one day she will die, as will we all, but we do long to enjoy her on earth a lot longer if possible!  We only see dimly now.  We only understand with our short-sighted human perspective. We can't possibly see things any other way until we are on the other side.  Knowing this, we will be ok with whatever God decides to do as we know all things are in His hand.  Yet, Ezra, David, and many others in the Bible still called out to God and implored God for His mercy, so I will as well.

Go into Battle, Don't Stay Home!

My daughter and I have become a team without even realizing it.  We thought we were just working things out so that she could be a piano teacher here in our home, but what is happening is much greater than that.  As the students come, so do the moms of the students and even their families sometimes.  Not only is it an opportunity for me to meet with these moms, but it is also an opportunity for my other children to be kind and hospitable even if the children are not exactly their ages or not exactly who they normally play with.

It has been a blessing for me, too.  Choosing to be a stay-at-home mom means there are sacrifices.  For me it has meant that my social circle is more limited.  In my younger days at university, for example, not a day went by where I didn't have some kind of coffee date set up.  With kids that becomes a bit of a challenge.  But those earlier days where sometimes loneliness crept in God always met me by either sending a surprise visitor, a phone call, or even a stranger at a park.  Now that we are out in the country, I wondered, how will I ever get out and just walk to the park?  I figured I would struggle in this area as I am a bit of a social butterfly.  I wondered how that need would get met....

Enter piano teaching daughter.  As she has begun to teach more and more regularly, more and more moms and kids come into my life and my children's lives.  If I ever struggled for coffee dates, no more!  Almost daily now we have visitors coming to our home and I get to sit and chat and enjoy a coffee or a tea several times a week.  The moms minister to me as much as I do to them (if I do at all!).  We've prayed together.  We've laughed together.  We've challenged one another.  It is so much more than just sitting and waiting for their kids' lessons to be over.  I think God is just so creative!  He made us think we were just creating a music studio for our daughter, but really He was doing a much greater thing....and I don't even have to leave my house.  That is the unique blessing in this whole situation.  God is good.

Back to 2 Samuel for a second.....I read in Chapter 10 today about the battle that David was in with the Ammonites.  David sent Joab and his mighty men to the forefront of the battle.  Joab "saw that the battle was set against him both in front and in the rear". (10:9).  Isn't that how it is with us?  It seems everywhere we turn there is some kind of battle going on in our lives.  If we pay a bill one day, the next day another one or two or even three come in.....aahhhhhhh...the never-ending battle with bills!  One day it is a struggle with sickness.  A child will get sick and then recover, only to have another child become sick.  We'll fix something in our house and then another thing falls apart.

What I appreciated most about this verse was Joab's response.  When he saw that the battle was all around him, "he chose some of the best men of Israel and arrayed them against the Syrians."  He didn't fall apart!  He matter-of-factly dealt with the situation.  Didn't freak out.  Didn't panic.  Didn't give up.  Didn't run away.  As soon as the Syrians saw Joab's men (the Syrians were fighting for the Ammonites), "they fled before him".  Just their presence was enough to scare them away.  It was only as "they drew near", no fighting even had to happen.  This must be my response to the battles I find myself in.  I need to keep myself together and simply surround myself with my "best men".  Who or what would that be?  I surround myself and my family, by faith, through prayer, with "hedges of protection".  I surround myself with my family.  We sit twice a day in our family room, praying, keeping our altar lit, trying to never let it go out, bringing our requests before God.  We implore God for His protection that the enemy in our life will be defeated.  Satan has to flee.  He flees sometimes I'm sure when we don't even realize it as soon as he sees us on our knees.  He realizes he doesn't have a chance with a praying family, though he doesn't always give up so easily.

"When the Syrians saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they gathered themselves together." (10:15)  They tried to regroup and come after the Israelites yet again, but this time they were virtually annihilated by David and his army.  The Syrians were sorry they had ever tried to help the Ammonites, "So the Syrians were afraid to save the Ammonites anymore."  I guess so!  This is the case with us, too.  Satan doesn't always go down so easily.  Sometimes our enemy seems to regroup and come back even stronger, with a bigger arsenal of weapons trying to take us out, with discouragement, difficult circumstances, fear, bad news, etc....but David and his army didn't back down and neither should we.  They expected the second attack from the Syrians.  David got news they were regrouping and just as Joab didn't back down, neither did David.  "He gathered all Israel together and crossed the Jordan."  That's what we do over here, too.  As soon as there is clearly strife or some kind of obvious stress in RM's work life, we call the kids together and we "cross the Jordan". We pray, we cry out, we fast.  We do whatever type of warfare it takes to fight our invisible enemy.

As parents, we have to lead in this battle.  We must model this for the younger kids, so they will know how to fight when they go through their own battles later on in life.  David was great for this until Chapter 11.  Up until this point he had gone with his army into battle, leading his mighty men valiantly.  Then, the fateful chapter where his life went downhill from there on, all because he chose to stay home when everyone else was fighting.  "In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel....but David remained at Jerusalem." (11:1)  That was his big mistake, staying home, not fighting.  Instead, he lazed around his house, walking around on rooftops.  His complacency led to his fall.  He unwillingness to fight led to many innocent people dying.  There are consequences if we get passive in our parenting, in our fighting.

The consequences for David's sin with Bathsheba went on for years and for generations.  This story is clearly included in the Bible for our benefit so that we don't repeat the same mistakes!  We don't have to go through what David did in order to learn.  Wisdom comes from watching others struggle and learning from their mistakes.  Yes, sometimes we benefit when we go through things ourselves, but we don't have to have an affair to learn that having an affair is bad!!!!  So I'm grateful for this story.  I'm grateful for the lessons we can glean without having to experience it ourselves.

The main takeaway?  Don't stay home and send others to fight!  Fight alongside the mighty men.  Don't be surprised when the enemy tries to come back with a different tactic.  Have strategies.  Be prepared.  

Poor David.  May I learn from his tragic story.

Courage to Pray as David Prayed

David had a plan.  He wanted to build the Lord a house.  He saw that he had a house.  How is it that the Lord would not have a house, but only a tent?  Nathan gave him the go ahead, until the Lord intervened and said, "No."

I get plans.  I get ideas.  I have all sorts of thoughts in my head that I think would give the Lord glory.  Yes, of course, sometimes, if not most of the time, they are somewhat selfishly motivated, but a lot of my ideas are things that I think God would want, in my life, in my family's life.....but then, things don't seem to go as I think.  It doesn't seem to be God's will for my life and I'm shocked! 

A silly example, but I've always wanted twins.  Every single pregnancy I've longed for twins.  I hear a lot of moms say this for some reason.  I don't know why we all want twins so badly.  We must have an ideal in our minds that makes us think twins would be "so fun" or "so cute" or who knows, but I've never had twins!  God has said, "No."  I can only assume He knows what is best for me even though in my mind I had a better idea for my life.  Clearly this is not on the same level as building a house for God, but it goes to show how we can plan and dream, thinking these are good things, but God has other plans and dreams for us.

God was gentle in His response to David.  He didn't get angry, but He did show Him he was thinking in merely human terms, not in heavenly, eternal ways.  How could he?  So God shows him that His ways are not our ways, "I have not lived in a house since the day I brought up the people of Israel from Egypt to this day, but I have been moving about in a tent for my dwelling.  In all the places where I have moved with all the people of Israel, did I speak a word with any of the judges of Israel, whom I commanded to shepherd my people of Israel, saying, 'Why have you not built me a house of cedar?'" (2 Sam 5:6,7)  In other words, "Good idea, David, but I've never needed a house all these years, why now?"

Then, there is a change in the direction of the message from God.  He stops talking about the house David wanted to build for Him and reminds him of how He has always been with him.  "I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, that you should be prince over my people Israel.  And I have been with you wherever you went and have cut off all your enemies from before you."

How similar it is when I look back over my life.  He's taken me "from the pasture, from following the sheep."  He's always been with me, wherever I've gone.  I don't think He says these things to dismiss David's good ideas and his well-meaning intentions, but to remind him that He is sovereign.  He's been sovereignly directing David's life all along.  He will sovereignly direct a home for Himself, too.  My plans for my life are well-intentioned, but I cannot step ahead of God and assume I know better what I need, such as a debt-free life, though I do think that would be awesome!  God has sovereignly been directing my life all along and if and when He thinks that will give Him glory, than it will happen.  If not, I need to reflect and look back on how He has been guiding me all along the way and see that He has never left me, even in a place that I think is dark, He is still here!

David responds with gratitude.  "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?  And this was a small thing if your eyes, O Lord God.  You have spoken also of your servant's house for a great while to come, and this is instruction for mankind, O Lord God!  And what more can David say to you?  For you know your servant, O Lord God!"  (2 Sam. 7:19, 20)

I have to respond the exact same way, "Who am I?  You have done so much for me!"  He has done so much for me, brought me so far.  My plans and thoughts are small things in His eyes, like having twins (silly!  God could have easily done that!) or sent a huge contract to eliminate our debt (so easy in God's eyes!).  He could grant all my "small things" in a heartbeat if He wanted to.  It isn't that He's incapable, it's that He knows what is best and what timing is best, "for a great while to come".  He knows the future.  He knows what is best for my house and family and this is "instruction for mankind".  In other words, God's message to David was God's message to me.  I cannot question Him or His timing, because, just like David, "you know your servant".  He knows me better than I know myself.  Thank goodness that I am not God.  I would make a lot of bad decisions I think, mostly self-serving.....

David relents.  He surrenders.  He recommits his way to the Lord.  This takes courage.  "Therefore your servant has found courage to pray this prayer to you."  At first I thought he was referring to the courage it required to tell the Lord he wanted to build Him a house.  But then, as I reread David's response, I realized it could be referring to the courage it took to let go of his plans and his dreams.  I can say I've surrendered, but then I take my dreams back into my own hands.  Give me the courage to "pray this prayer to you."  David's house was blessed only because God chose to bless it.  David remained obedient during this time and I think that contributed to God's blessing.  I must remain obedient whether or not God chooses to bless me and my household.  And, on that note, define "blessing".  Pain, darkness....these can be blessings, so I have to be careful that I'm not defining blessings the wrong way. 

This passage has two words that jumped out at me.  He asks God to "confirm" His word to him and then he thanks Him for His "revelation".  These are things I will continue to pray.  I pray God will "confirm" our thoughts and dreams.  We don't want to move ahead in our own strength and wisdom.  And I will pray for His specific "revelation", through His Word, through others, whatever way He chooses to reveal His will for us.  We don't have Nathan the prophet living anywhere nearby, but we have His Word and the Holy Spirit. 

This passage is full of thanksgiving and gratitude.  I will continue to thank Him for what I do know and all that He has done.  I'm so grateful this prayer was included in the Bible.  It shows us how to respond when God has a different plan for our life compared to the one we had in mind.  We must respond with gratitude as David did.

"Get Out of Debt" Award Goes to........

Forget the Oscars.  I think there should be a different kind of Awards Show.  The "Get Out of Debt" Awards Show.  If there ever is such a show, I'm pretty sure we would win in the category of "Most Creative Approach"  or "Weirdest Ideas" or "Most Unlikely Debt-Free Idea"..... Over the last few years we have done some really funny things from building entire houses to buying and selling sports cars to fixing up and reselling music equipment.....Sometimes I think my husband's ideas are a little unusual and we don't always see the money right away so it does make me have to be on the patient side.  This is why I always tell him I am the perfect wife for him, just in case he didn't know already.

I read a verse today that jumped out at me that perhaps it is ok to do things a little differently.  David is now king and is still fighting debt, oh, I mean the Philistines (will the debt/Philistines ever leave us/him alone?????)  Seems to be a constant in his life.  I can kind of relate.  Anyway, as usual, he asks God what he should do.  Another great pattern in Scripture that tells me I should be doing the same.  Each time God answers him after he asks, "Shall I go up here or shall I go up there?  Which way should I go?"  One time after he asked, the Lord responded, "You shall no go up; go around to their rear, and come against them opposite the balsam trees."  (2 Sam. 5:22)  This time it was a completely different approach.  Usually the Lord would say, "Go up."  Not this time.  You shall not go up.  Do it a different way, from the opposite approach that you would expect.

I found this verse jumping out at me as we do all these weird and whacky things that sometimes seem fruitless.  It's ok to go about things a little differently.  This approach took the Philistines off guard.  They weren't expecting it and sure enough, because David "did as the Lord commanded him", he was successful and "struck down the Philistines".  I'm quite convinced that all these things we do are ideas from God as each thing we do which seems a little different to me is actually a fantastic use of RM's many skills.  Building the house used his construction background.  Fixing cars used his mechanical abilities.  Selling musical equipment brings out his music skills.  The interesting thing is that each time he takes on a project, it isn't something that is difficult for him as he enjoys all of these areas, building, fixing, music.  On top of it all, he gets to teach our children these skills as well.  How else would he be able to pass on these skills?  I doubt we would say, "Ok kids, today we're going to learn construction? or all about cars? or musical instruments?"  Having a purpose or a project has actually been the best way to teach them.

So this makes me excited as I realize God is using even these bizarre projects that we take on to His glory.  He's allowing RM to teach and disciple his kids through these unique opportunities that we create.  The kids are learning to be incredibly resourceful and at the same time they are learning to never be afraid or intimidated to try something new.  That is one skill that RM's parents instilled in him that I love.  He has always approached life with the idea that if someone else can do something that seems incredibly hard, why can't he do it, too?  It's not arrogance speaking, it's a inward confidence that comes from realizing you can learn anything you set your mind to if you are willing to work hard at it.  That is another thing I really hope my kids can get out of this whole process.

I'm curious what the next whacky idea will be....probably building a plane.  We would win awards for that for sure!