Week one of April is here. We can hardly believe it. We have waited for this week for 8 months. By God's grace, the towers shipped without any blips, and just like labour, you suddenly forget all the pain. It's just over.
We didn't skip a beat though. Not a single day off. This past Saturday, though everyone would have loved to have slept in and rested, the older 4 kids, RM and I, headed off to the first homeschool conference of the season. It was actually really good to stay busy even when we could have been home sleeping. The conference was just what we needed to get back on track as so many things fall apart when RM is so busy and a lot of stuff gets neglected just because of the nature of his work. Getting recharged, reminding ourselves why we do what we do, hearing some great speakers, meeting good friends we haven't seen in ages, connecting with new people, it was all so good and so necessary.
One of the talks that I went to hear was called Grace vs. Excellence. It was geared to those of us who wonder how to find the balance in our homeschools. We long for excellence in academics, but then when we push too hard we find ourselves irritable, frustrated and our kids aren't happy. However, if we give ourselves too much grace, what then? We end up letting things slide and the level of excellence goes down the drain.
One thing that really struck me was that during "contract season" our homeschool is really affected. I have to be on high alert for whatever my husband or boys need me to do. I have to keep the house running extra smoothly so that no time gets wasted, even in having meals ready, tidy house, just so he can get those towers out! That sometimes means, we have to cut things short, or drop everything if Daddy needs the kids or whatever. I hadn't really noticed that until in the middle of the seminar the speaker said there are seasons in our life, or in our homeschool, where we need to give ourselves grace. Suddenly it hit me, it really wasn't just my husband who got the tower contract, I got the tower contract. My kids got the tower contract. We all got the tower contract. My older boys would often have to put their books down and lift thousands of pounds of steel to help their Dad. My daughter would have to walk away from the piano and go out and run errand after errand so that he wouldn't have to waste time in a car. Our little ones had to stay out of the way so they wouldn't get hurt. Their behaviour really mattered during that time. That sure helped explain a lot. Had I given myself grace?
The reminder was over and over again throughout the day to stop comparing your homeschool to another person's homeschool. It was called a poison when we do that. I really long for the perfect wake up, the perfect scheduled day, the perfect time when everything will start and stop, but in our family, especially during tower season, it just isn't like that. Hearing that talk allowed me to stop comparing as I had started to do so without even really realizing it and that, I think, was when I needed to really give myself grace. Now, there are a good 3 months left of the school year that will be a little more "normal", whatever that means. I hope to really try to get lots done with the kids in the remaining time.
Grace was needed during that time, but excellence also was achieved. I look back fondly on the months and months of towers where a different kind of school went on. The kids learned so much besides just the academics. They were watching their Dad be diligent, persevere under pressure (he had a part-time job the whole time), as well as how to be a good project manager. They saw him have to manage his time well and power through pain, They learned all the ways he manufactures these things on-site without having to farm out all the work and still get it all done on time. It was a great learning experience in so many ways. That was the best example of excellence I could have given them.
Last night we made a list of projects and things we hope to get done over the spring and summer. It was a long list that in reality will take many more springs and summers, but we put everything down anyway. Then, we called the kids and talked and prayed with them over the list. The tower contract always shows us just how much we can get done when we set our minds to it. However, we are praying for that balance between grace and excellence. We know it will be impossible to achieve everything on the list, that is where we will need grace. But we will strive as much as possible to get most of the things done, that is excellence. As I read in Proverbs, we need wisdom to discern between the two, "Does not wisdom call? Does not understanding raise her voice?....O simple ones, learn prudence. O fools , learn sense." Proverbs 8. That is what we pray for, wisdom, understanding, prudence and sense.
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