Working Mom

I was thinking about how my feet were a little on the sore side last night.  I was also thinking how I was still up doing things when normally I would be slowing down and getting ready for bed.  And then I thought, "I've gone back to work!  I'm a working mom!  I have a job!"  Somehow I didn't realize that, just like so many other moms, I have my regular mom job and now I am a part-time farmer!  The reason I missed it somehow is because I didn't apply for this job.  I didn't get an interview.  I didn't seek it out, per se, it just kind of happened. 

As all these thoughts rushed through my head, I had mixed feelings.  There was a little bit of sadness as I feel badly when I can't be the all-in mom, making all the great meals, always having homemade everything, always having the fridge and cupboards fully stocked, instead of rushing out for last minute milk and bread.  But then I felt so grateful.  I haven't had to leave my house to make the extra income.  I've been able to work at home, alongside my kids a lot of the time.  I'm really glad I didn't have to go back into a classroom.  I'm super glad I didn't have to come up with some awful resume.  That would have really stressed me out.  I'm able to work with my husband.  We didn't know it at the time, but when we decided to do grapes, and now microgreens, he was essentially interviewing me as his full-time assistant.  I knew I'd be helping, but I didn't know how much I would be involved.

There is always a cost when a mom goes back to work, but it isn't always bad.  The kids have to step up more.  The house isn't going to be perfect.  Meals will suffer a little.  It's a really exciting day when I get to put on make up now.  Most of the time, I look like a true farmer.  I've given up my hand-modeling job, that's for sure. 

This Saturday will be the true test as we're off to our first ever Farmer's Market.  This little market is rather pathetic.  Only a few people actually sell things they grow on their farms.  Most of the people there are selling pet toys, coffee, essential oils....there are only a few of us that are actually selling food they grew which is why they are so excited to have us!  I will bring all the younger kids.  That will be hilarious....or awful....we'll see.  My guess is they'll help me set up and then take off and visit all the people selling cookies.  Should be interesting.  But, in my ideal world, they are going to help me sell, help me mange the money side of things, educate people on why microgreens are so fanatastic and make new friends. 

I'm glad I go to "work" with my kids.  That is a huge blessing.  As my 11 year old daughter and I were soaking, planting, seeding, watering yesterday, we talked and talked.  She had had a tragic event happen yesterday - her beloved cat had been found mysteriously dead on our lawn.  No evidence of a car hitting her, nothing, just dead.  She cried for an hour.  But we talked and talked as we planted and I walked her through it in such a natural way.  Then later, it was in the vines...again with 3 of my kids....and we were talking about the Fall, school, courses, dreams.....all very natural, no scheduled appointments and I felt so grateful for that as well.

So many moms have to go back to work as their kids get older.  It was not in the plan for me to ever do that.  I was a stay at home mom, forever.  So how did this happen?  I think the reason I feel ok about it is because I still am a stay at home mom.  Nothing has changed.  I'm just a stay at home mom that works here at home.  My office is in the vines and my kitchen.  I don't realize I'm at work because of all the steps I skipped that most moms who work go through - the new wardrobe that is needed, etc.  Fortunately, I didn't have to buy anything! 

It's our new reality.  With a large family that is getting older, the costs seem to go up dramatically.  When we go over our finances, could we cut more?  I always ask my husband that.  He says, sure, feed them less.  We joke that if I cut out a meal a day over time, eventually I could get them down to maybe a meal a day.  All that to say, no.  We can't cut much more without starving them which is clearly not an option.  I could go on and on about the sacrifices I already make, but it's enough to say, it was either do what we're doing or get my husband a 4th job?!  He's already working A TON.  It was time for me to step in.

I remember when my mom did this, too, when we were in high school.  I don't remember her ever complaining.  She took on two part-time jobs herself.  She came home late at night.  She was up early in the morning, in classrooms during the day and then at a tutoring center at night.  God used that to meet our needs and I'm sure my dad was grateful.  We were grateful as we saw how tiring that would have been.  I am not walking a path other women haven't walked before me.  I see God using me to help meet needs in my family and I see it as helping my husband see a little relief.  I am sure praying God will bless our little farmer's market venture this weekend as well as our grapes this summer. 

Had I gone back to the "real" workforce we are convinced I would have gone into sales of some kind.  My husband wishes I sold airplanes, but alas, it's just little packs of green stuff.  The fact it is something so small, and not an airplane, is kind of cool as it is more of a "little by little" approach to making some income.  If we make any money on something so small, God will definitely get all the glory as it makes no sense in my eyes!  This is truly going to be easy for me to do though, which is also why it doesn't feel like work.  This is my IDEAL kind of job.  I get to interact with people.  Love that.  I get to be with my kids - fanatastic.  I get to be in the community - hello new friends!  I get to use all my sales/personality giftings - so easy for me!  And, on top of all this, I get to sell something that will actually make people healthy!  Truly, if I had to make a job description for myself.....this was it.  Only God can create this type of work.

Am I a little more on the tired side these days?  Yes, but I sleep better!  I am more fulfilled!  When my husband and I go out on our own every so often, I often can't help but feel a little guilty.  I always think, "We shouldn't spend money on ourselves!"  But, the other night when we were up late into the night planting, we were side by side and I told him, "This is the ideal 'date night' for me."  Instead of spending money, we were potentially making money.  What do I love about going out with him?  Just talking, just being together....we had all that, just around the kitchen table with seeds and dirt.  Don't get me wrong....I'll still take a "real" date night, but that night, I was just as fulfilled, or moreso, by just being at home, doing something together for the sake of our family.  I loved that.

Right now, all my kids are sleeping.  I'll take my first shift in the vines during that time.  See?  Flexible hours!  Perfect!  I've already checked on the microgreens.  Doing well.  The grow lights are on, the trays have been watered.  Then later, I'll come back in, feed a few, put out the laundry and attempt a grocery shop.  Just a regular day in the life of a working mom.