It would not be an exaggeration at all to say that I spent ALL DAY in the car yesterday. A quick look back and I think anyone reading this would agree....
8 am - drove my husband to work as his vehicle is still in the shop, nearly finished but still a ways to go
9 am - arrive home only to find out I have to drive my son and his friend to a city an hour away because my son can't find his wallet (with his license!), so now I have to do the driving. This particular friend had been with us for several days and sometimes has a car, but not this time!
9:30 - leave the house, but it starts pouring. We end up having to drive a lot slower and will now be late for my son to go to work unless my daughter meets us with her car at an exit on the highway with all his work clothes!
11:45 - have now returned from the other town and meet my daughter at the exit, quickly switch clothes and kids - exit 1 from my car and enter 3 from her's! Hilarious kid exchange happened. If anyone had been watching they would have thought we were all clowns
12:02 - my son makes it to work, only 2 minutes late....talk about close call. Leave for the next errand with 3 kids heading to the next town a half hour away
12:30 - grab a quick bite with kids in store and exchange some clothes
1: 00 - go to the next store, buy some groceries, and whip over to another one right next door and pick up a couple of gifts for someone else
2:00 - drop off my daughter at her art class and go to another store to exchange another item, shop at the store beside that one afterwards
3:00 - pick up daughter from art class and head home
4:00 - quick turn around, drop off kids and get back in the car to pick up my husband
4:30 - arrive and wait half an hour IN CAR for a half an hour as he got stuck in a meeting!
5:00 - drive home
6:00 - arrive home 10 hours after I first left that morning........
My son needed to be picked up at 7:30 that night. I wasn't going. I wasn't getting back in that car! Just rewriting it makes me tired! I have to admit, once I saw my husband at 5 pm, I wasn't the most chipper, especially after being left to wait an additional 30 minutes in the pick-up spot, but after we debriefed and he heard my very long day, all was good. I realized I was being no better than the kids who I am trying so desperate to train NOT to complain. I had to go to my one son and tell him later, "Guess what Mommy did today? I complained to Dad like I was a kid." He smiled.
Days like those are certainly challenging. It already adds to my "I don't homeschool enough" feeling, but what can you do when things need to get done and you need a vehicle and your children and husband have places to go and things to do as well? You just get in the car and drive. It's all perspective though. I wasn't driving to cancer appointments. I wasn't driving to a hospital. I wasn't driving to a funeral. I wasn't driving to divorce counselling. I wasn't driving to a food bank. I was driving because there was money for gas, money for food, money for art classes, money for everything I needed to buy. I was picking up kids, dropping off kids and husbands, but at least I have kids and a husband. The weather was great one moment, awful the next, but I arrived safely everywhere I went. My kids may have not finished every single subject, but they did do some when I was gone and at least they were still with me most of the day, even if they did complain some throughout the long amount of driving. On those days it is "life school" where they get to see what a mom really does in her day. I'm not sitting around eating bon bons and watching soaps. No, I'm navigating a very complicated schedule, the whole time trying to maintain my cool which can be a challenge in those situations! It's good for them to see that.
We sat around and debriefed as we try to do each night anyway, but I added a few new questions to the regular discussion that I had read about this week. It was suggested that you ask each family member to look back over your day and see 1) when you had been kind to someone 2) when you had been unkind and then I added 3) when was someone kind to you and 4) did you make things right with anyone you had been unkind to that day? It made for a great debrief that night as we looked back and I saw how my kids had stepped up when I was gone for the morning and then later that afternoon. Each one had helped another child or done laundry, garbage, made a meal or something like that. I was so impressed to hear about all the good deeds. I also watched them beam with pride as they told what they had all done and then watched how they said the kind deed another one had done for them. Hearing them admit their missteps was also good and then watching them make sure all was right was great, too.
Today is going to be another day full of driving, not quite as much, but a close second. However, looking back on this day, I can see that I better start my day off right, with a good cup of perspective in order to not get into the grumbling and complaining like a toddler mom. Complaining is actually very selfish. When I started to complain to my husband, deep down it was because I think I wanted him to know, "My day was harder than your day and you better appreciate that!" So rude and demanding! In the middle of it all, I actually heard the verse/song in my head that I had made my kids memorize 15 years earlier, how annoying! "Do all things without complaining and disputing so that you can be blameless and harmless children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and depraved generation among whom you shine as lights in the world." Phil 2:14-16
I quickly stopped and apologized and he did admit that I must have had a long day. That was all I needed to hear and I got over it pretty quickly, because also deep down, it hadn't been that hard a day. I actually had had a good day! I had accomplished a lot and was very grateful to have been with my kids, even with the one in Africa! He and I chatted back and forth a bit during the day on whatsapp and that was fantastic! He's doing great. One thing he mentioned was that he had been chatting with a 5th year med student and the guy had told him in his whole med school experience he had only intubated 3 people. My son intubated 3 kids that morning. He'd been involved with a cleft pallet ministry for a few days and had helped with all the surgeries. He is getting such amazing experience that med school, if he manages to get in, will be almost annoying as no one will understand the experiences he's been exposed to. Oh well!
All this to say, perspective changes everything. I will try to remember that this time before my day even starts........
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