This morning I purposely woke up early even though I didn't get a lot of sleep. There's just so much going on in the lives of my children, I felt I needed to spend a significant amount of time praying. I wanted to skip my Bible reading (that might sound funny), because I knew I was reading in, dare I say, a part of the Bible in Exodus that was about the building, designing of the tent of meeting. I wanted to be reading something that would inspire me more today, like the Psalms, or something like that. But where I ended up reading - Exodus 28 - which was the next chapter in my daily reading, was just perfect. I should have known...every word is profitable, right?
Exodus 28 is all about the priests' garments. So many times it talks about the specific skill required to make them and how God fills "all the skillful, whom I have filled with a spirit of skill" to make them in a very specific way. I was immediately impacted by the fact that sewing is something God loves, "for glory and for beauty" it says. I have a sewing daughter. It is so amazing to watch how she makes things, just for fun and is getting better and better at it. I'll remind her today of the importance of sewing and how God can use it in her life! It also goes on to describe how the "names of the sons of Israel" will be engraved on the stones "in order of their birth" and how Aaron "shall bear their names before the Lord on his two shoulder for remembrance....to bring them to regular remembrance before the Lord.....regularly...." I knew I was in the exact right passage today.
Last night I was up until 10 with my older children. Each one is going through so many amazing things and some more challenging things. We all talked and talked. I actually really loved it. But this is the thing, I feel like I'm at the center of each situation as I am the counsellor, the academic advisor, the love coach, the mentor, the discipliner......yikes. How am I supposed to know what to do all the time?! My oldest son and I sat for almost 3 hours last night looking over each aspect of his med school application. We didn't want to miss a period, a comma, a blank space......I felt like his life was hinging on that form. With barely two hours to spare, he got it in on time...now we wait. Talk about the pressure!
Meanwhile, I have that same kind of involvement in just different forms with each one of the other children. It all just seems so much! I think I'm going to get some garments made with stones that I wear on my shoulders. I'll get some engravers to engrave their names on them and then I'll go into the tent of meeting and regularly bring them before the Lord. But then, I realize. I don't have to get any garments made. Or stones engraved. I just need to sit here. And pray, one by one....in their birth order and regularly bring them before the Lord. It's literally all I can do. I can't magically get my son into med school or help each one get the perfect spouse with a click of my fingers or help them finish college overnight or teach them better habits in areas where they struggle......I can ONLY regularly bring their names, which are on my heart day and night, to the only tent of meeting I know, my family room, looking at the sun rise, on my chair, and say name after name, issue after issue, asking/begging God for wisdom for each one.
I'm so glad I didn't skip to a more "inspiring" passage of Scripture. That was the exact one I needed to read today.
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