Wednesday 19 January 2022

I Need Deer Feet for My Life in a Frat House

Starting this co-op might just be the hardest thing I've done yet in homeschooling.  We are technically 12 weeks behind as it started back in September and we'll be joining in January.  I wasn't asked to do this, but in the name of helping my kids feel like they know what's going on I'm giving them a crash course in 5 days on all they've missed.  Needless to say, they're a little overwhelmed and so am I.  I regularly say to my husband, "I don't get paid enough".  I will take a picture of it today because at the time it's so hard and so brutal and so frustrating, but now when I think about it, it's hilarious.  You have to picture it - one kid, head buried in the couch, groaning.  Another child on the floor staring blankly at the ceiling, moaning.  Another child laying on a different couch consistently begging for a break to go outside.  And me, the mom, sitting on the edge of my seat, with a map behind her, an app open on her phone that has all the memory work on it, attempting to coerce, sing, encourage - and then just gives up and says, "Fine, go out and play".  One hour - hardly - this could take some getting used to.  I'm convinced it'll be waaaay easier when I'm not fitting one whole semester in one week.  At least that's what I'm telling myself.  By making it super hard now, they'll find the actual co-op a walk in the park, right?

But, I'm starting to be in awe of all they're already learning, from latin nouns and noun endings, to some super fascinating science facts, grammar, math and history facts - it's very cool.  My oldest son who's now done his degree said he's so glad they're learning this stuff now (he's been listening in when he's not at work) as it'll help them so much more when/if they head off to post-secondary, so that was encouraging.  I think deep down they kind of secretly love the challenge, but they also kind of not-so-secretly wish they had another mom.  Sorry 'bout that.  Today they have to write a 2 minute presentation and memorize it for Monday and do a whole lot more grammar.  In all my years of English at post-secondary I was NEVER exposed to what I'm teaching them.  I told a friend yesterday, it's like teaching them Russian, so no doubt it's a little on the hard side.  

I have to admit, they have a way of breaking me down after 60 minutes of moaning and groaning.  Thank goodness for the snow - it's the best way to regroup and I'm so grateful.  Today is a new day and I get a new verse every morning to consider.  Today's verse was perfect, Habakkuk 3:19, "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights."  I am most definitely "on the heights" right now.  In His sovereignty, He knew I'd be attempting this.  I don't have the "feet" to tread where I'm currently treading, but I'm going to trust Him to "make my feet like the feet of a deer" which will allow me to "tread on the heights".  That means I need a really specific skill set.  Well, guess what, even though I never was taught the grammar I'm currently teaching my kids, I do have an English degree and though it was more about the study of literature and analyzing lines of poetry, it will still help me and never in a million years did I think it would come in handy with my future children when I was just 20 years old.  So maybe just maybe, in His sovereignty, He was making my feet even then to tread on future heights.  That's a really neat thought and somewhat reassuring.  My children are also on the heights - and unlike a nice little deer who chooses to walk there, my deer don't choose to walk there, they got pushed on the heights and they want to go back to the lowlands.  This verse tells me that their feet will also get made into the kind of feet they need in order to walk on the heights.  Reflecting on this encourages me to keep going.  Only 3 days into my concentrated review week, it's been hard, but reading this makes me think, "It can only get better!"  

Last night when I put them to bed I told the younger boys how they had made my day quite hard and that I didn't love that.  I asked them, "Do you think we could try again tomorrow?  And maybe, just maybe we could do school without all the moaning and groaning?"  They said, "Yes, but how do I do that, Mom?  How do I remember that tomorrow morning?  I want to do that now, but I always forget!"  I love that.  Same here.  So we prayed we wouldn't forget today.  That is the story of man in one question - how do we do that?  Our pastor answered it best on Sunday from Philippians 2:12-14, "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.  Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world..."  That's the answer - we will work out our salvation with God's help, "For it is GOD who works in you".  This won't be me working in them, but God.  The next part is pretty good, too, and trust me, I'll remind them of this today, "Do all things without grumbling and disputing".  Wow, what would I do without Scripture?  So there's my lesson plan today - just read Philippians.

On a happier note, our friends who specialize in home and garden design, who did cancel twice, Lord willing are now coming Sunday.  How I pray they won't cancel again!  I joked with my friend that they better bring their magic wand....and then, when I messaged them last night I told them to bring their winter boots for walking outside to walk around the property and to see our "frat house".  That is totally what I live in - a frat house.  How I pray they'll be able to help us transform it into something other than a frat house!  Oh a penny for their thoughts as they walk through it....

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