I've learned something recently about myself and my kids - I'm not afraid of them anymore. That might sound funny, but in the past I think I've made decisions for them out of fear. Small example - if they are working on an assignment that is hard and they want to stop because it's been a long time, I'll cave in and just drop it in the name of keeping them happy and keeping peace in the home. How can that be great parenting? Don't get me wrong, there are times when I believe it's wise to stop doing something and wise to keep kids happy, but not out of fear.
This homeschool co-op is a great example. My kids are angry, well, 2 of them are at least. The older two, 13 and 15, are actually ok with it, it seems. But what I'm noticing is that I am looking past their anger, which hilariously I think is actually a form of fear, and I'm letting my vision for their future drive me. As I power through these 12 weeks of missed lessons in English, History, Geography, Latin, Math and Science, I'm actually seeing them grow and learn in just 3 days and I think they secretly are loving it. I had them so engaged yesterday. They were jumping up and down trying to answer the questions before one of the other kids. The 15 year old was amazing. By the end of the hour lesson, he could name all 4 sentence structures, 7 sentence patterns, 8 parts of speech, 5 sentence requirements and more - in fact they all could. That took the other kids in their class 12 weeks to learn and we powered through it in an hour. Had I listened to all their fussing, we wouldn't be accomplishing what we are accomplishing. I just have to turn down the "noise" they bring and each day I'm noticing they aren't as "noisy".
I am using bribes, I must admit. Food works. I don't know why they like granola bars so much. I never buy them. I hate processed food, but as dumb as it sounds, I bought them, so to keep them motivated we eat, constantly. They are like the whales at Marineland. I toss the kids a "fish" to keep them happy, alert and engaged.
Believe it or not, Scripture has something to say about this. Well, as always, I have perhaps taken it slightly out of context, but I see a principle that is so cool in the Hebrews 11 chapter on faith that I have NEVER noticed before. "By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw that the child was beautiful, and they were not afraid of the king's edict." My kids studied this passage and the following verses for their young adults group. My daughter talked about how Moses' parents were mentioned in this passage, how "by faith" Moses was hidden by his parents. His parents had a plan! They had a plan because they saw something in Moses, something that was "beautiful". I'm sure they thought he was literally beautiful, but maybe there was more to it. Some versions say, "no ordinary child". Maybe they also thought about his future and wanted to protect him because they had a vision of victory, or purpose, knowing he just needed to live! AND they "WERE NOT AFRAID of the king's edict." Those are the kind of parents we need to be - parents that aren't afraid. We need to make plans for our children, knowing they are beautiful human beings and we can't be afraid of the plans we feel are right for them. Had Moses had any input, he might have said, "Don't put me in the basket in the river! I want to stay cozy and comfortable with you!" But he would have been killed. Or neighbours or friends, they would have perhaps not done what his parents did for him. They might have caved in to fear and not been so diligent at saving their young son and he would have been killed anyway.
I look at my kids and I see beautiful, not ordinary, children. If I asked them what they would like to do all day, they would say, "read us books and let us do a little school and then let us play all day" or maybe they would say, "no school and let us play all day...oh and eat junk food, no veggies please". That's probably more like it. But because I see beautiful children with beautiful minds, I have to do something that is risky, a lot of work and so, in a way, I have to hide them. I have to make a plan that goes against what they want to do. I can't be afraid of them, of the work, of their bad attitudes. This has helped drive me to make hard decisions. I say this to myself all the time as I get closer and closer to the finish line of homeschooling. I don't want to fade away and get lazy with the final four. I don't want to give up just because it's hard work. Later, Moses left Pharoah's home to lead his people out of slavery. He could have stayed, but he didn't, "choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin". Why would he do this? Simple. "He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible." There's that phrase again, "not being afraid" and watch this, "of the anger" - in this case Moses wasn't afraid of the anger of the king. The principle again - no fear. He was motivated to endure, "looking to the reward". He had "greater wealth" by following God than man, eternal rather than temporal goals. "He left Egypt" where he was cozy, comfortable, happy for time in a wilderness with a bunch of good-for-nothings. I told a new homeschool mom yesterday that it would be waaaay easier to send my kids away and it isn't the first time I've thought of it. But I have a greater goal, "greater wealth" by doing what I'm doing as hard as it is, I'm really loving it. I'm learning to not be afraid of the anger of my little "king's" whose edict is to do whatever they want.
They crack me up. They'll give me grief again today, undoubtedly. I'll feel frustration, most definitely. We'll have another pep talk, most assuredly. But, it'll end up in the same results. They'll have to do what I say. I always tell them, "You'll have to do it anyway, so can we skip all the arguing and go right to the obeying?" Man, life would be so much easier if they would do that!
No comments:
Post a Comment