Rescued by Mary and The Magnificat

I'm not sure that I have hosts of people wondering how Christmas Day went, but I'm sure if anybody read my post on Christmas and the fact we were going to do it without gifts, must be wondering, "How did it go?"

First of all, you may have noticed, I have not been posting lately - I've been sleeping!  I usually get up at 5 am to write, but with the kids "off", I've been taking advantage of a more relaxed schedule and so I find myself sleeping along with the rest of them and quite enjoying it.  I've also noticed why I should keep my writing at the early hour, as if I do try to write any other time of the day, it just doesn't happen due to the fact a host of little people are constantly trying to get my attention, so I end up giving up the attempt at writing and will probably need to wait until the early mornings start again to be more regularly writing.

I've also been writing countless posts in my head that will also hopefully eventually get out there, too.  I've learned a LOT over the last few days.  It has been an amazing learning experience for our family.

Where to begin....

The days preceding the 25th were full of fun events from baking, to visiting friends or family, to playing in the snow, to writing Christmas cards, planning a child's December birthday.......it was full and fun and kept us busy.  The kids weren't really sensing it was that different a year.

Christmas Eve was a little different, however.  I'm not sure if it was because we were on the eve of a financially significant decision or if it was just because we were feeling the effects of several late nights in a row starting to catch up or if Satan was trying to attack, but there was tension in the home for part of that evening.....should we be surprised?

Due to the fact the little ones were falling apart, I went with the older ones to the Christmas Eve service at our church.  Two of our girls were playing and singing a song in the service - The Magnificat.

They had been practising for days.  I had heard the song played over and over, but not once had I read the title of the song or heard the words or listened to the lyrics until that night.  I had only listened to the beautiful melody and had almost missed the incredible message that was just below the surface.  I was definitely supposed to be there that night- I needed to hear that song.

What is The Magnificat?  It is simply Mary's response to hearing what the angel said would happen to her.  If the Bible would have included music and instruments, I am convinced it would have sounded just the way Keith and Krysten Getty's version was written.  If you haven't heard their version of the song, you must listen to it, it is incredibly moving.

After the song was sung, the pastor took a few minutes to read the Magnificat from Luke 1 and it was then that I started to hear God speak to me.   I kept noticing, three times, to be exact, the phrase "all generations" or "from generation to generation" or "to Abraham and his descendants forever" is mentioned.  When God is trying to tell me something, he often tries to get my attention, just like little Samuel and Eli, in "threes".  He doesn't necessarily call my name three times, but he'll have three different people talk to me, or he'll show me three verses and in this case it was showing me the three phrases all slightly different, but stating the same idea - it was the idea that there is generational impact because of Mary's simple, quiet obedience.

The significance here is because, well, I have to admit, I had started to waver, started to feel a little bit badly for our kids.  It was low grade at first, but then, one of them mentioned on Christmas Eve that she wasn't feeling as excited as she normally would have and, you guessed it, I panicked. I started thinking all sorts of thoughts to myself, "I've taken the magic out of Christmas!  I've ruined all their fun, taken all the joy, all the anticipation out of the season!  Have we made the right decision!?"  A cloud had come over me. 

All the other children were sitting there during the service, no doubt, thinking of all the gifts they'd be opening on Christmas Day, but not mine....I struggled.

Then the Super Hero, Mary, flew into the church and saved the day.  I was rescued from my own pit of despair, once again, by Scripture.  Satan, was trying to pull me down with his talons of doubt, fear, endless comparing to others, but Mary and her Magnificat scooped me up.

Looking back, of course, the attack happening on the night before such a spiritually significant day makes complete sense, doesn't it?  We were about to enter into a day that would forever change our family's financial future - Satan hated that, hated us and wanted me to hate myself, resent my husband, feel sorry for my children...well, it was working....at first.  But then the Magnificat.

We had asked our children to do something extraordinary, nothing like what Mary had to do, but yet quite similar when you think about it.  Mary was asked to carry a baby, the Son of God, when she wasn't even married.  Nowadays, being a pregnant teen is quite a common sight really, no big deal, but not back then - she could have been stoned to death.  We, on the other hand, had asked our kids to forego Christmas presents on Christmas Day - no big deal really, except in this culture.  To give up Christmas presents when everyone in their world is receiving something or in most cases, many things, is HIGHLY UNUSUAL.  It was a lot to ask when I think about it.  And yet, not unlike Mary, who simply stated, "I am the Lord's servant.  May it be so to me as you have said."  They humbly responded, "Yes, we'll do it."  I was humbled by their response.

As all the other children sat in the church that evening thinking about sugarplums and fairies dancing in their heads, my kids listened and heard the story with new ears.  They told me this later.  One son said, "It was so different this year.  I am so glad we took the gifts away.  I could only hear the sermon and only think about Jesus as the true meaning of the season."  He admitted that in other years, it was really hard to focus on Jesus and all he meant to us because, quite honestly, the gifts did overshadow things.  It was like that for all of us, I think, this year.

Here it is - The Magnificat:

⁴⁶ And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
⁴⁷     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
⁴⁸ for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
⁴⁹     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
⁵⁰ His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
⁵¹ He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
⁵² He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.
⁵³ He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
⁵⁴ He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
⁵⁵ to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors

 

I came home and shared with my husband what I had heard that night at church.  It helped resolve the tension we had both been feeling.  When I start to waver, when I start to doubt, even though on the outside, Renaissance Man is trying to appear strong, inside I'm making him start to doubt, to waver, as well - thus, the tension. 

 

I explained to him that suddenly I knew what was causing the tension.  We were about to experience freedom.  We weren't going to be out of debt in the morning, but we were about to break a cultural bond, a spiritual bond, a financial bond, so in a way, yes, we would be out of debt in the morning and this is what is so significant - that bond wouldn't just be broken for us, but for "all generations".

 

Mary's decision to accept what the angel said to her meant "from now on all generations would call her blessed".  That's the first allusion to having a generational impact. 

 

As she continued to praise God, she says it again, "His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation."  It sounds like she is repeating herself.  Her obedience meant his mercy would be extended to  multiple generations.  By this point, I was starting to get it.  I started to realize  this will be the case for our children, too - they will see God's mercy extended to them for their obedience.  Mary, literally says, "He has filled the hungry with good things."  My children weren't necessarily hungry for food, but their Christmas stockings were technically "empty"!  Yet, have we been filled with good things this season, this year, our whole lives?  Oh yes - so many good things.

 

The third and final time, again, Mary talks about the generations.  She says, "He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever".   The generational impact cannot be denied - we are blessed because Mary was obedient.  Perhaps our simple Christmas no-gift decision was bigger than I thought.   Reading it for myself  and seeing it repeated three times made me feel pretty confident there was a message for me.  I shared these things with RM that night

 

We went to bed that night feeling lighter, less heavy, more hopeful.

 

The next morning, I made a wonderful breakfast (at least I thought it was!).  Slowly, one by one, they got out of bed.  "Merry Christmas, Mom."  "Merry Christmas."  There was no pomp and circumstance, just quiet reflection until all had gotten up.  We gathered everyone around the table and prayed, thanking God for our food.  Then, I shared with everyone what I had learned from Mary.

 

I could barely get through it.  I am such a bumbling, babbling, blubbering cry baby, but I wanted them to know how much I loved them for accepting this challenge this year.  For not fighting us on it.  For not crying for what they missed out on.  For making it so easy for us.  I wanted them to know, that, like Mary, they will be blessed for their obedience, they will be shown mercy, they will see freedom in their lifetime and that this freedom will be for generations to come because of this year!  I explained to them that because of their obedience, the many generations to come will always look back and thank them for their small role in making a new financial path for the generations to come!   We rejoiced together!  No one was sad! We saw God's goodness, his extreme goodness to us and we praised, just like Mary -  "he had lifted up the humble", these little children, filling them, filling us, "with good things"! We reflected on  how he had "extended mercy" to us, how he "performed mighty deeds with his arm"!  So beautiful! I went on and on.  Sometimes, it was funny.  A child would get up and try to get another serving of something, "Get back on the bench!  I'm not done!"  "Mommy's still talking!"  Daddy would say...everyone knows their emotional Mom.  I just wanted to get it all out - the whole season of wondering, what would that Christmas Morning look like, feel like.  It was amazing.  I still cry just thinking about how God met me, met us, that morning.  My husband was so grateful as it really was harder for me - he was just so happy we hadn't had to spend - we could have, we could have racked up more debt and paid for it later.  We could have done that.  But we didn't and it relieved so much pressure.  But when I started to waver, that pressure went right back up.  I'm sure he was glad I had that talk with Mary.  She helped reassure me I was making a decision for the future generations. 

 

It's a weird thing to go through something so significant.  It felt like we were the only family in the whole world having the experience we were having.  The rest of the world went on like normal, but for us time seemed to stop that day - we experienced freedom that morning like nothing I've ever experienced.

 

After breakfast, it was like the clock started up again and it became a regular day, though, in some ways it was definitely not.  RM had a lot of work to do as his contracts are due soon and there is mounting pressure for delivery.  The children played, I cleaned.  Life went on as normal.

 

But we know, we are a different family because of that day.  I am so grateful to that young girl, Mary, who was asked to be obedient and she simply said "yes".  Because she did, the whole world changed.  The whole world now has hope.  I learned so much from her this year.  I wish I could see into the future to see the impact this year will have on my future generations, but I cannot.  I must simply rest on the promises of God's word and believe his mercy will be extended to the generations to come. 

And so, 2014 is around the corner.  I live in anticipation of what God is going to do.
 

An Unxpected Christmas Present

Something really neat happened yesterday.  As soon as it happened, I knew I would have to write about it.

First, some background...

Ann Voscamp is another mentor in my life who doesn't know me, though we have a lot in common.  She, like me, is a homeschooling mother of 6 (well, I have 8, no big deal!) and lives on a farm, like me, here in Ontario where she writes a blog, like me.  That's about where the similarities stop and the differences begin...She is now a famous New York Times best-selling author of more than one book and has a huge following on her blog!  Me, not so much! 

I honestly only read her blog about 3 times a year and haven't even read any of her books!  But, I had the privilege of hearing her speak once almost 3 years ago when she was more of a commoner and spoke at homeschool conferences.  The short hour I heard her speak was another life-changing moment for me.

She spoke about joy and why so few of us have it.  She spoke of something called "eucharisteo" which is the Greek word in the Bible meaning "grace" or "to give thanks".  She described how Jesus took the bread in the "Feeding of the 5000" story and saw it as grace and gave thanks.  It was at this point that the miracle happened.  She must have repeated that line several times throughout her talk because it has stuck with me and has really started to impact my whole way of thinking.  Here it is again in my words...

When you give thanks for everything, just as Jesus did with the bread and even when he was about to die on the cross, then the miracle is imminent.   The miracle with the bread, of course, was that it was multiplied and not only did it feed everyone, but there was some left over!  The miracle on the cross, was not that he died, but that he rose again and paid the penalty for our sins - forever!

You cannot see how life-changing this is for yourself until you start applying it 100x a day.  I actually think we've all known of this idea before as we know the Bible says to be thankful.  I'm not sure why this struck me so differently this time.  Perhaps it was because of the line that followed that is not in the Bible, per se, but the principle is definitely in the Bible - "the miracle is imminent".  I think it also resonated with me, because at that point in my life, I was really struggling.

I am usually a fairly positive person.  I am usually a fairly thankful person, but there were times about four years ago where I was not that way, say, in the middle of the night when my baby is screaming for no good reason and I'm not getting any sleep and I'm feeling extreme frustration.  I wasn't stopping to be thankful there and there was certainly no miracle imminent.  Nope.  Not a happy person.  It was during that really hard time in our life when we were building the house and it was just one more thing I had to deal with.  It was one thing to deal with stress during the day, but to get no break from it during the night was leaving me absolutely loopy.

But then, after I heard Ann speak.  I thought, "This is revolutionary thinking!" and I was determined to try and apply this to myself the next time I found myself in a situation that seemed hopeless or in a place that seemed unnatural to be thankful, like in the middle of the night!

I had an opportunity almost immediately of course - that night with the screaming baby again.  I immediately went to his room and took care of him, making sure he had whatever it was that he thought he needed, and then went several more times that night.  This time, when I would get out of my cozy bed, instead of feeling the immediate sense of dread and frustration that used to come, I started thanking God for him, for his ability to cry to alert me that he needed me, for the privilege of having a baby when so many don't have that privilege, for the roof over his head, for the crib he could lay in, not a dirt floor, for the warm heat, for a healthy mom, for the fact he was crying for a silly reason, not because he was in a hospital deathly ill........do you see?  The list went on and on.  As I did this, two miracles happened - I was never frustrated again when he woke me up and if I felt the frustration come on, thankfulness immediately alleviated this feeling.  Ann reminded us you really can only feel one emotion at a time, so by being thankful, the other negative emotion simply isn't allowed to be there!  The second miracle is that at some point he just started sleeping through the night!  And not because of anything I did, it just "happened"!  That was some miracle, let me tell you.

This has been a principle now that I live by as I have seen so many miracles I cannot begin to describe them all to you.  I now literally have developed the habit of being thankful as soon as Renaissance Man walks in the room with bad news of some kind, in my head, I'll start to say, "I don't understand what is happening here, Lord, but I thank you that you are in control and that the miracle is imminent."

That was a lot of background, but I think it was super important and I really wanted to share it as it is so helpful for a mom and wife to develop this in herself and also in her kids.  I even try to get RM to think this way as it is so unnatural, but it relieves so much stress.

So now, another example of this that just happened.  A few days ago, RM noticed that the older horse didn't seem to be doing too well and seemed to have pain in his foot.  The immediate question that came to his mind was cashflow!!!  If you call in a vet, it is a hefty bill just to look at him and times are tight right now, so what to do?  He did call the vet and the vet actually suggested that he call a farrier, a "horse foot doctor", which is waaaay cheaper.  It was still a feeling of dread that started to come over me.  I knew I needed to catch it.  I could feel it start to creep up and it was getting my mind into a panic mode if I wasn't careful.  I could start to see the money draining out of the account.  I started to picture what that looked like and it was leaving no money for essentials....so my choices were to either nip those thoughts in the bud or get the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that does no one any good.  That was what I chose to do - be thankful, for some reason, that the horse wasn't well.  What miracle could possibly be imminent?

Farriers are hard to find.  It seems it is a field of study that few are getting into these days, but if you have horses, it is essential to know one.  My oldest son is very interested in this field and last year for Christmas, when we were spending money, we bought him a very expensive textbook from a farrier school down in the States.  The guy who runs the school is a solid believer and wrote a lovely inscription to my son with Scripture as well.  This son has read the book and is quite familiar with all things horsey now and had even done his own assessment on the horse, so when the farrier was coming, we knew this boy would be right there beside the farrier watching everything he did.

Sure enough, when the farrier arrived, I quickly introduced him to my son, explaining that he was very interested in becoming a farrier and, if he ok with this, he'd be right there the whole time.  I then asked him a couple of questions, like how old was he when he started, that kind of thing.  He seemed very nice. 

Out they went and within a few minutes, they'd determined it wasn't a foot thing at all, but just a quirk the horse had developed with age that wasn't causing him any pain actually.  If anything, we just needed to watch him.  He might need surgery in the future, but at this moment in time, he was fine.  Great news! Then, the farrier left, or so I thought.

Within a couple minutes, I heard the door being knocked on again.  It was the farrier, must have forgot something.  He was holding some tools in his hand.  "Hey, I know you mentioned your son is interested in becoming a farrier.  I have this old leather farrier apron I used to use and these tools (a horse hoof pick and a huge hoof file).  They're just sitting in the back of my truck and I don't need them.  May as well go to someone who could use them."  WHAT??!!  Are you handing us a gift we didn't ask for?  Are you an angel?  Do you have any idea what that means to us?  I nearly cried (I write that a lot, don't I?).

The miracle was imminent - or should I say, the miracles.......look at the amazing list....

1.  That was not a cheap gesture - those items alone would have cost hundreds of dollars if we'd bought them new ourselves, I'm sure. 

2.  The timing was unbelievable, especially in light of last year's gift.  It would have been the most natural next gift to buy our son after first purchasing the textbook - tools would have been next on the list. 

3.  He had NO IDEA that we weren't buying gifts this year. 

4.  The horse got supposedly sick around Christmas time (this could have happened in the spring or fall - why at Christmas time?) 

5.  The horse wasn't sick after all - saved us a TON of money.

6.  It just furthered my son's interest in pursuing that kind of work and I believe that is exactly how God guides families as they pray for their children's futures.  He uses circumstances like this to confirm interests to both the parent and child that says, yes, this is something I want to pursue.

I loved it.  I wanted to hug the man.   I felt he'd been dropped out of heaven and put on the planet just for us that day.  I was in such shock and could only stand there in awe.

These miracles happen ALL THE TIME in my life now that I have adopted this new way of thinking.  I can give you countless examples of this, countless.  I'm not exaggerating and most of them have happened in the last four years since I've changed my way of thinking. 

I am even thankful for the debt and this journey we are on as God keeps showing us himself through it all.  I am thankful for being needier emotionally, needier financially, needier spiritually, because of all the things I'm being shown and because of all the lessons I'm learning.  So many miracles.  I shake my head in gratitude, in awe.  God doesn't have to do things like this for us, but he chooses to.  It keeps us going!

Take this lesson to heart - apply it to yourself, today, right now.  Take whatever is on your mind, that is weighing you down, and turn it into thankfulness and watch, the miracle will be imminent.

The Mess Means Life Happened Here!

Warning - long post ahead!

Boy, did I get behind the 8 ball, as they say, starting Monday, in housework.  It was "kitchen debt", "laundry debt", you name it....it looked like someone had taken the whole house and turned it literally upside down, oh, and shaken it in the process.  I must have stood at the sink for well over an hour on Monday night trying to catch up on what hadn't happened during the day. 

It is no different than missing one payment, say, on the credit card....if you let yourself get behind in one area, one payment, then it is really hard to stay on top of things and you end up paying for it later in terms of the stress it causes, or in my case, the piles of things around the house.  Sometimes, when this happens I get quite down on myself and who God has made me and I "wish" I were that born-organized mom.  I'm realizing that is not a helpful approach to dealing with the mess.  It's just the same as looking at the debt and saying, "I wish I were a better spender and more frugal."  That doesn't make the debt go away.  Wishing I were someone else does not clean up the mess!   I'm learning to develop a new way of thinking about this and a new way of dealing with mess that keeps the stress at bay, as well as the fiery darts of wishing I were someone else and all the discontentment that brings.

Now, to be fair to myself, it wasn't a typical day. The mess began first thing in the morning....the night before, the house was clean, honest!  Early Monday morning, my husband took over the loft room for his work.  It is now a painting center.  He's got a whole bunch of equipment he manufactures that need to be painted, so all the furniture had to come out, all the riff raff needed to be attended to that had been living under the couches, etc., so it was quite a mess, but I couldn't deal with it at the time as I was prepping meals for a new mom, sewing a blanket for the same mom, trying to homeschool little ones who kept running away.....argh!!!!!  It was quite comical if someone had watched me all day.  There were other contributing factors as well.....

Don't get me wrong, I love cooking meals for other moms who have just had babies, but I'll tell ya, it isn't as easy as it seems, especially if you add a new blanket you promised to make for them as well!  You know you aren't that organized when you make a meal for the new mom and you don't appropriately double it for your own family, leaving them with nothing and the new mom with a wonderful meal!  Yup, that's what happened....the new mom got pork chops, potatoes, salad, bread sticks, and apple pie and my family got a plate of nachos, no salad, only a few potatoes, left over pork chops from the day before, no dessert (until much later).....pretty amusing.  Plus, I'm so focused on getting the meal to the family hot and on time that I end up leaving the kitchen in absolute disaster mode and everyone just has to cope with that until I get home.  Ah, the behind the scenes of my life would be quite the funny reality show.


These kinds of days always make me wish I were like my organized friends.  They would have known their husbands were going to be moving in and would have anticipated it and had all sorts of things set up, like bins for toys, bags for garbage, etc., etc.  They would have known to take out more frozen food the night before in order to have enough for the new mom and their family!  Not me.  I'm definitely more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants girl.  But I suffer for it.  I'm trying to be better.  I really am, but days like this always reveal that I'm just not quite there.

Sunday mornings have a way of doing that, too.  For years I've known, your Sunday morning really starts on Saturday night.  Your Sunday morning will go waaaay better if you plan ahead a little.  I know this!!!!  Again, to be fair, I have improved a lot over the years, but there is still a little part of me that just loves winging it.

That was one of the main criticisms of me that my associate teacher gave when she assessed me as a new teacher - "She wings it a lot!"  I got a lower grade from this associate.  She was SUPER ORGANIZED and saw that I wasn't.  That isn't great if you are a teacher.  It's true.  Some things never change.  Sigh!  And now I'm a teacher at home and trying to run a house at the same time with my students living with me 24/7!  That is hard on a person who isn't born-organized!

So, winging it, flying by the seat of my pants, not planning ahead - these have to be my greatest weaknesses and they show themselves on days like yesterday.  I can recover from these kinds of days by putting in slightly longer days to recoup the lost time or when I get up early to write I quickly throw in a load of laundry (which I did yesterday and today!) but one day I hope I'm organized enough to not need to.

By the way, that is another quick money saving tip that I ignored for a long time - doing the laundry during "off hours".  In Ontario, here, there are cheaper electricity times, such as before 7 am and after 7 pm.  That is when it is cheapest.  I used to do laundry all day and not care as I felt I was not about to be penalized for having a large family, so guess what I was really doing....."cutting my nose to spite my face" as the saying goes.  I was being penalized, but by myself!!!   So, after I realized that, I made a much more conscious effort to do the laundry when it was the cheapest.  I'm up anyway and it just takes a few minutes.

Back to me and my lack of organizational skills.  I am a funny character.  God could have made me more organized, but he didn't.  He's forcing me to learn how to do this.  It is so hard when you are not naturally like this!  It is really a daily struggle for me.  I've come to accept that God has a plan though and that there are reasons he made me this way. 

I thank God for creating me to be who I am.  This way I can teach it to my children, as I learn, as I have a couple who are just like me and are aren't born-organized, too.  It also keeps me always on my knees asking for God's help.  It also allows me to accept help from my organized children (I have a couple of them, too) and guess what, I learn from them!

My born-organized friends say that I bring the "spontaneity" into their lives!  Super.  Spontaneity, however, does not do the laundry or clean the house.

In my mind I think the ideal mom would be super-organized, super-fun and spontaneous!  Why can't we be both?????  But it seems, if you were to do a survey of all moms, you would find you are either one or the other.  If you are both, by some miracle, it is because you have either learned to be organized over time, or learned to be fun!  I honestly do not think you get to have both skills at birth.  That's my theory anyway.

I think my kids are grateful that I'm learning to be more organized as they do love a clean house.  They always claim that their houses will be impeccable when they have their own - can't wait to see that!  I think my kids are also glad they have a spontaneous mom who drops things on a dime and whips out to do something fun once in awhile.  Perhaps God really is trying to develop both skills in me.  I wish it were easier, but it isn't.  I wish I could get more organized faster, but I'm not...it's taking longer than I hoped.  Babies, toddlers, and a whole bunch of older people have a funny way of slowing my game plan down.

I always tell Renaissance Man - if I only had one thing to do, I'd be AWESOME  at it!  He knows.  He's patient with me.  He watches the 3 year old bound through the house like the Tasmanian Devil from Bugs Bunny, literally leaving a wake of devastation in his path.  He knows.  He does have higher standards than me though and sometimes I wish he would just be my cleaning lady, or uh, guy!  He's way better at it than me.  But again, God made me the mom, not him. 

So I will not question it.  I will accept my weaknesses "for when I am weak, then He is strong" - so true.  I'm still aiming for more order and I will learn it eventually, just in time for the last one to leave the nest.

Wait, there's more, and this is another way I am now trying to view the mess.  There are a couple different ways to view the mess and I really am always having to assess this.  I can get down on myself and listen to the lies in my head that tell me I'm an awful mom to let it get to this or I can be honest with myself and ask the hard questions, "Did this mess happen because you were lazy or because you are a procrastinator?" or anything that will help me get to the root cause......OR, and I want all those moms who are like me, not super-organized, to read this as it will give you hope, I think.....perhaps the mess isn't all bad!  It's true! 

Once in awhile, I think even the most organized mom gets mess, especially if she allows her kids to live!  Mess can sometimes indicate life happened here!  I think we can get in the way of life happening in the name of CLEAN!  Let me tell you why....

It was 6:30 pm on Monday night.  The house was still a mess, a baby was already in bed, the older ones were on the couch sitting quietly.  Renaissance Man and I were having a cup of tea together.  We were both tired from the day and I knew I still had a lot of clean up ahead of me.  I told him, "I know the house is a mess, but you have to know, lots went on today and in a way, the mess proves it!"  I went on to tell him what our oldest boys were up to.  I reminded him of how we had once read a blog by a Christian man who talked about his sons and how he was preparing them for the future.  Our favourite line from the blog that we now repeat all the time is, "I don't want my sons to be helpless men."  Read on...

My second son, who is 12, has become very interested in being in the kitchen.  He makes bread sticks which are becoming his signature dish.  The whole family loves them and begs him to make them all the time.  This has led to him helping out whenever I need a hand and he is becoming quite adept.   Yesterday he decided he'd make the bread sticks for this new mom to go along with my meal - perfect!  My oldest boy who really only knows how to make toast and scrambled eggs also decided, while watching his younger brother, that he also wants to learn to cook and his words were, "I don't want to be a helpless man."  He actually said that to me that day.  I loved it.  So, even though I had not planned this, I said sure - go to it.  (See?  There's that spontaneity!)  So he did and before you knew it, he had made a braided loaf of bread from heaven.  It was AMAZING.  I told both of them there will be LINE UPS of young women (or moms looking for husbands for their daughters!)once they find out how capable they are!  (I'm secretly trying to breed more "renaissance men" - a rare breed these days....)  The thing about boys, even organized ones, is they just don't clean up quite the same as girls, so the mess began early that morning and just stuck around as I was in the other room sewing.

The reason I write this, is to show you the mess, though big, was a sign to me at the end of the day, that life had happened, learning had gone on, in a major way.  I could have stayed on top of it by limiting the boys, but when do you see a pre-teen, let alone a teenage boy, interested in being in the kitchen?  So, in that sense, the mess was great! 

I'm trying to communicate so many things which is why it's taken me two days to get this out. 

1.  I'm trying to communicate that God has created us all perfectly.  The born-organized mom and the born-spontaneous mom are just what each family needs.

2.  Mess is bad if it is because we are lazy or procrastinating or if we aren't trying to learn how to be more organized.

3.  Mess is good if it means we've been teaching something, if learning has gone on, if it's in the name of future character that is being built.  Learning to clean up as you go will come with time and more life lessons.

4. Mess is just things out of place temporarily (great definition!  just made it up!).  All things can be put back in order eventually and I will not sacrifice my children's learning opportunities (that sometimes happen without me even planning them) on the altar of micro-managing cleanliness.  It would have crushed my oldest son if I had stopped him from baking that day just because I wanted a clean kitchen.  My husband and I have learned to ask ourselves, "Why do we always say no?"  A good friend of mine who was dying of cancer gave a talk that changed lives around the world (the website may even still carry her talk "Death is Not Dying").  In her talk she described how once she knew she was dying it made her assess every thing she did in a completely different light - she, too, started asking herself, "Why do I always say no?"  She began to say yes a lot more as it brought such joy to her children and she realized the reason she'd been saying no was because it was too inconvenient to say yes.  Upon realizing her death was imminent, nothing was inconvenient anymore - she wanted to live a lifetime of inconvenience as she knew she'd be gone soon and she'd give anything to be inconvenienced!  That was her message to those listening - be inconvenienced.  You don't know when your last breath will be.  She did eventually die only months later.

What a long post - I could have broken it into two I suppose, but I didn't, sorry! 

I love order, hate mess, hate order, love mess - love organization, hate the mess that comes with spontaneity, hate the pressure of being organized, love being spontaneous and fun......arghhhhh!!!!

It kind of sounds like Paul the apostle in Romans 7,

"¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Isn't that a great way to end?  Even Paul sounds crazy, but I love what he says as he's about to lose his mind, "Who will rescue me 'from myself' (my interpretation!)?  Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

So, there's even a Christmas message there - it always comes back to being rescued by Jesus, from ourselves, from mess, from being a micro-manager, from sin that entangles.....he's literally all we have.

Blessings to you today as you go from mess to mess, as you struggle with either being born-organized or not, as you try to create character in the mess, and as you clean up the mess (that is temporary, don't forget!)

His Banner Over Me Is Love

Good morning!  It is cooooold out there today! -10, I think.  One of the great ways (I'm being sarcastic!) that we are saving money is to turn our heat way down at night or whenever we are away from the house even for just a couple of hours.  Because we are in an old farm house, it is already hard to keep it warm, but alas, I do think this is making a big difference.  It is funny to see the kids comment, when we go to someone else's house, on how warm their house is!

I was thinking I didn't have too much to say this morning, but as I lay in bed, I realized once again how God continues to show me I'm under his special banner and that really, his banner over me is love.

A few more examples of this in my latest Top Ten Ways I See His Banner Over Me Is Love:

1.  The same friend who sent me the beautiful necklace called because I had called her to thank her, but kept missing her.  In her phone call reply to me, she specifically mentioned that though we are not in regular communication and that though we rarely see each other, she appreciated our friendship and wanted me to know she loved me.  The spoken word, love.  It rarely gets communicated, am I right?  We're so afraid to be vulnerable.  Her words to me lifted my spirits once again as I knew I was loved by God through her.

2.  Another friend, from the far south in the US, was also in contact with me this week via email.  This friend, too, was in contact after months of not being in contact (I have a number of friends who I lived with from university or other connections who all moved to the States!) and also made me realize how God has put so many great friendships into my life that I cannot take for granted.  He's used these women to mold me into the person I am today and I'm so grateful he used such cool ladies!

3.  I met a mom of 9 whose youngest daughter is now 17.  The other children have all left the nest and are on their own or married with children.  As soon as I saw her, I wanted to start crying.  She doesn't even know who I am!  But seeing her, meeting her, was such a blessing to me - she made it!  She survived!  She had a large number of children who are all grown up and though, I'm sure, there were trials along the way, she made it.  I could have sat and listened to her talk for hours, but I literally got just a few sentences out and then she had to go.  I felt God gave me a glimpse into the future of hope.

4.  I shopped this weekend at the thrift store again, looking for a pair of skates.  As I went there, I realized this is my new normal!  The thrift store is my new department store!  And, what I love most about this, is that I always get just what I need!  I found a basically new pair of men's skates for my growing boy for $4.  Not bad.  One of my daughters also needs new boots as she's grown out of her's already this year.  Her words to me, "Mom, can we go to BFM (the thrift store's name) tomorrow and get me "new boots"?"  That's what my kids say all the time.  They want "new boots" from the thrift store.  I love it.  "Sure."  How can you say no to that????

5.  The kids skated allllll weekend.  Ice, made by God, is free.  Thank you, Lord!  Our pond is frozen and big enough for a bunch of kids to skate on.  I love it!  The rink that my husband attempted to make has not been as successful, but the pond is filling in just fine. 

6.  It snowed!  A lot!  Snow, made by God, is free.  Yeah!!  Another free gift from God.  What always stresses me out when there are some kids who can skate and others who can't, is that I'll have to go out there and teach a whole whack of little people while I'm supposed to be inside making dinner......what to do?!  But with the snow, the little people were all content to just play in the snowdrifts or on the toboggans!   Another yeah!  I am not too excited about going outside with the youngest guy, so it's WONDERFUL that the 3 and 5 year olds are content on their own.  It's the little things like this that make me sooooo happy!  The whole gang is getting exercise, having fun together, and staying outside (not messing up inside!!!)

7.  Ok, this one will really make you laugh.  I've been reading a lot on home remedies because I'm literally sick and tired of being sick!  In this one book, it talks about everything from flu tonics you can make to dealing with bumps and bruises.  So, I made my first Super Duper Tonic (seriously, that's the name).  My husband loves it!  It is a mix of garlic, ginger, onion, cayenne, and horseradish!  Then, I mixed it with hot water, lemon and honey and voila - super duper tonic!  He is already feeling better!

8.  More laughs - my 3 year old took quite a fall on Friday night - head first on the wood floor.  He had quite the goose egg and wouldn't let me put ice on it.  So I went to my home remedies and it suggested I put a piece of onion on the bump to stop bruising and even help with the swelling - not joking.  I thought, why not?  So, I sliced a piece of onion, pounded it to get the juices out a bit and literally taped a hunk of onion to his head.  Hilarious for so many reasons.  First he smelled like soup.  Secondly, he looked like salad.  Thirdly, he let me do it, and asked no questions.  Within seconds, he stopped crying, maybe because he was so distracted by onions on his head, who knows?  Perhaps it actually took some of the pain away?  About 20 minutes later it was time for bed, but I couldn't find him.  Believe it or not, he'd taken himself to bed.  Sure enough, there he was, lying in bed with a piece of onion taped to his forehead!  He was still dozy so I asked him if he wanted me to take it off - "NO!"  He apparently liked his new onion smelling forehead!  But then, eventually he did give it to me as his brother was sleeping beside him and I'm not sure he would appreciate the gourmet smells coming from his brother.  Get this - the next day....not exaggerating.......nothing, no swelling, no bruising, no discoloration of ANY kind.  Is that coincidence?  Can't say, but I'll take it!  So now, I'm all about home remedies!  They are WAAAAAAY cheaper, let me tell ya!

9.  We had a wonderful church Christmas potluck yesterday.  I made a potato dish for about $2 - pretty inexpensive way to contribute!  I really am grateful for my church in so many ways.  We live soooo ridiculously close - I think we go through 2 lights to get there - that saves on gas!  We have a wonderful community of friends there.  Even though there are a small number of families, there are always at least 5 women pregnant at any given time.  Literally, in the last week, two babies were born.  In the last year, we've had 6 baby girls born!  That's amazing!  We're in competition with another much larger church to see who has the most babies each year and we are definitely winning and we're a fraction of the size.  It is amazing to be in a church that embraces children like this one.  The average family size has to be at least 4, but there are families there with 9, 8, 7, 5 - soooo great.

10.  My daughters and I got to go to a Christmas cookie exchange on the weekend.  That's pretty cheap entertainment, too!  It's a very fun, festive way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  The boys stayed home to skate with friends - also fun for them, and cheap!  We left for the cookie exchange right after my oldest finished a photoshoot for a newborn from our church.  My daughter's photography skills were part of the group gift at this new mom's shower (i.e. the mom was given a photography gift card, cool idea, eh?)  That is always so amazing for me to watch.  The first few times I saw her take photos, I would cry - how did this little baby girl grow up so fast that she is now old enough to know how to use a camera??????  How is this possible???????  She somehow has acquired these skills in the last four or five years and is now being paid to do this!  She's already adopting a waaaaay better philosophy on money than I ever had.  Get this - she's saving it.  No way.  Yup, she's got a plan.  I always pray that my children will make better financial decisions and they are already showing me that they are!

So, there's my Top Ten sum up of the last few days.  It is clear, especially upon reflection, that God is keeping us under his protection, blessing us on our journey, and showering us with his love all along the way.  To top it off, there are laughs to boot!  So keep your onions handy (and tissues to keep the onion juice tears off your face)!!!!  Have a great day!

The Common Becomes Supernatural

Christmas is less than two weeks away.  Not having the shopping stress has been one of the greatest new benefits since we made that "no gift" decision this year.  Looking back at other years and how Renaissance Man had to make so many time sacrifices just so I could grab a few hours of shopping, let alone all the decisions we had to make for so many kids.....argh!  I get stressed just thinking about it!

I was at the dentist for the older two this week, but I had brought everyone and we were being watched by a grandma with her one grandchild.  She was quite fascinated.  "Soooo," she said, "It must be really crazy on Christmas morning at your house!"  I looked around at my two daughters who were listening in and just smiled.  "Well.....," wondering how much to say.  "Actually having so many children has really forced us to simplify over the years, so in fact, it really isn't as crazy as you'd think!"  I had to raise my eyebrows at that one to my daughter as she and I both knew it wasn't the entire story, but I knew the grandma would never have understood and in the few minutes I had I figured it was a good enough answer.  She had already asked me if I was crazy for having 8 kids, so I wasn't about to ask for more scorn.  As we left, something changed in her.....I went over to say goodbye, even though we'd never met before, but we'd talked for at least 5 minutes so I felt it was the polite thing to do.  "Have a good day!" I smiled at her.  "You, too, " she responded.  "Go and enjoy all your beautiful children you have.  They really are all wonderful."

Sniff.  Another hug from God above, wouldn't you say?  She started off by telling me I was nuts to have so many kids, but then, and I'm not exaggerating, she spent only a few minutes with them (as she hadn't been there the whole time we'd been there) and in that short amount of time, I went from being a crazy person to a blessed mother of 8.  Sometimes it just takes experiencing my life along with me to see the blessing of so many children and they weren't doing songs and dances, they were just existing!  These children are definitely my gifts to me this year!  I think sometimes I need to hear a comment like that from an outside source to really see what surrounds me day after day as I get used to my life and I don't see it from another person's perspective.  The supernatural becomes common, but yesterday the common became supernatural.

I know I am either at the end or very close to the end of having any more children.  My youngest daughter told me I can't draw as good as her because I'm almost like a grandma!  So if she sees it, than I guess it's true!  Taking the material gifts out of our lives this year has awakened my spiritual eyes to seeing what I have right here, right now....especially in the form of children. 

I sometimes think I still need more stuff, but I'm starting to catch myself more and more, realizing the roots of those thoughts lie in discontentment, lack of gratefulness for what I have.  By adding more and more to my life materially, I never have to be grateful for what I have now!  But then, I look at the toys my kids have, that they've literally had for years and I want to buy them new toys, so technically I'm not discontent with my stuff, I'm now discontent with their stuff!  Isn't that a degree better????  Please can't I get them something new!?  I'm glad we put it in writing as I think I would let myself off the hook sometimes....I'm so weak!  (I think I've mentioned that before.  Sigh.)  It is funny though, my littlest boys, who don't read flyers or see ads on TV, never seem to be noticing the toys they have have been around for years.  They don't seem discontent.  Why?  Perhaps I'm the one who breeds the discontment in our home....hmmmm...don't want to think about that one.

All this to say, I'm glad we took ourselves out of the mayhem for this year at least, though I hardly think we could ever go back to what is used to be.  I think things will somehow be permanently changed after this year in some way - I think on Christmas morning, when we all wake up and see an empty tree, besides the disappointment for perhaps some of the kids as they are used to seeing a full tree, I think a spiritual bond in our lives will be broken forever - I think this year will forever change the financial future of our family as we never want to go back.  "No more let sin and sorrows grow, nor thorns infest the ground" - Joy to the World, verse 3... I love that song now.

Joy to MY World

We love King David (of the Bible).  We relate to his ups and downs so much.  I guess we all do, don't we?  Though he was a king, he was just like all of us in so many ways.  If you read through the psalms, you get a picture of what his life was like - many highs, praising God and how wonderful He is and then in the next psalm he's sharing his woes, his many afflictions, begging God to help him out of the miry pit.

That's kind of how it's been over the last week - so many things to be thankful for, but then our humanness gets in the way and that discouragement sets in.  We're grateful for the psalms especially at those times as it shows us it is normal to feel the ups and downs we feel.  The thing about David and his times of discouragement, however, is that they always end on a note of praise to God, always showing how we must remain dependent on him. 

I have learned over the last few years in particular the best way to find joy is through gratefulness.  So here is my "Top Ten Things I'm Grateful For List".  I should add that we were feeling more discouraged than usual this week for some reason.  It was as if God reached down and tried to show us he was there through it all....just read all the cool things that happened!


1.  I got a beautiful piece of jewellery in the mail from my maid of honour as a gesture out of the blue reminding me of her friendship - not for Christmas or my birthday, just because (she has no idea I'm even doing this blog!)

2.  I got flowers delivered this week from another friend (who gets flowers delivered to them nowadays!?) just to encourage me and thank me for our family's friendship.  Crazy.  I can still smell them days later.

3.  RM got an unexpected payment for some hay this week just after he paid a different unexpected bill.  That was definitely a blessing.

4.  We were able to enjoy a free "Walk to Bethlehem" a church nearby puts on that always puts us into the Christmas spirit.

5.  We've been able to set up a skating rink on our property that feels free as we bought all the supplies last year but never did it as it was so warm.  This year it looks like we'll actually use it!

6.  We enjoyed fun cousin birthday celebrations for next-to-nothing, by just being in each other's homes eating cookies and popcorn!

7.  Oh my goodness - I almost forgot.......our cat had kittens!!  Five of them!  They are so cute!!!!  What kid does not LOOOOOOVE kittens!  It's almost like getting five new toys that don't require batteries FOR FREE!  And, they get to stay with us for at least 6 weeks AND they're already all spoken for (that never happens!).

8.  We enjoyed a fun Christmas party with another family and exchanged homemade gifts with the kids.

9.  I had a fun reunion with an old friend from the town we came from.

10.  I had a very weird freak accident a couple of days ago in the kitchen where I completely wiped out, twisting my ankle while holding a very sharp blade - other than a couple of minutes of having a sore ankle, nothing else happened, though I distinctly remember seeing the blade come toward my head as I fell, but it never hit me and I was fine.  What was I protected from?  I don't even want to think about it.


What a week!  Well, it seems to me like we're doing ok though, doesn't it?  It seems to me like memories are being created daily, without much effort, and we didn't set foot on a plane.  It seems to me we're being provided for by a God who knew back in the summer when we were haying that we would need that money later in the winter.  It seems to me that we're still enjoying the whole Christmas season, even moreso this year and very little money is being spent.  It seems to me we're all being protected from who knows what all the time!

Here's the joy factor....I sang Joy to the World this past Sunday and I suddenly noticed verse 3 - I'd never really paid much attention to it.  Isn't that the way it is with Christmas carols?  We sing them year after year and sometimes we don't even realize what we are singing anymore.  Perhaps my spiritual awareness was piqued this year because of what we are going through - read these lyrics and see if they jump out at you, too -

No more let sins and sorrows grow
Nor thorns infest the ground
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found
Far as the curse is found
Far as, far as, the curse is found

I felt like it was the Lord speaking to me - "No more....do you hear me?"  God said.  "Do not let sin or sorrows grow in your life anymore.  Don't let thorns, or debt, infest the ground."  Wow.  He went on, "I've come to make blessings flow!  As far as the curse is found!"  It was a neat moment, all by myself as I stood there in the pew.  It was a gentle rebuke -  we'd allowed thorns to infest our ground which really does make sorrows grow and certainly does not let joy grow.  God was saying to me, "There is a better way."  His blessings always were flowing into our lives, but it does seem to me that we were, or thorns we'd let grow, in the way a bit.  I somehow doubt Isaac Watts was speaking about this in particular when he wrote it, but who knows - when you go back into the history of so many of the hymns and carols, so often the writers were in tremendous debt!  Apparently, according to a book I have, it is based on Psalm 98 which brings it all back to relating to King David, it seems, who was probably the first Christmas carol writer.  Watts wrote the song knowing the real reason for shouting for joy - the Messiah had come. 

Reflection is a great way of finding joy and getting through those tougher moments.  Writing it out is even better as now I will have no excuses when the discouragement tries to find its way back into my head.

Watch out for those sneaky verses in the Christmas carols this year!  I bet you'll see them now, too.  God has a way of opening our eyes when we ask him to show us new and wonderful truths in the common everyday things around us.

Zone Cleaning Lowers (or eliminates) the Frustration-o-Meter

This idea of zone cleaning is completely borrowed from The Flylady.  If you haven't heard about her, please look her up and use everything she offers on her website.  She is a wonderful woman who has no idea how much she influenced me and, not unlike the Maxwells, helped me get my home to a place where even when there is no order, we now know how to achieve it fast! 

The idea of zone cleaning is another way of being a good steward of our things as well as allowing us to be more hospitable in the long run.  If we feel like our house is in semi-decent order, than we are more willing to have others over which can be a blessing to ourselves as well as to those we invite.

Where is the connection to debt?  I'll explain the system and then I'll show the debt tie-in....It's all about the Frustration-o-Meter.  We all have one, oh yes.  Some women have it on all day at a low level that just peaks once in a while.  Others can turn it off entirely which is what I think we should all aim for.  Others have it on level 10 all throughout the day which can blow the motor and do a lot of damage to those around them.   More at the end.....

Here's the idea:  What I've done is taken what I love about the Maxwell's chore system and amalgamated it with the Flylady's system of zone cleaning. 

The Flylady divides her house into zones and assigns a different zone to each week of the month.  Her zones are slightly different than mine and mine actually change all the time, depending on what I need focused on -

My zones are:

Week 1 - kitchen (this never changes as we always need the kitchen maintained)
Week 2 - mudroom and bathroom
Week 3 - family room and loft room
Week 4 - bathrooms, hall, front entrance
Week 5 - bedrooms and homeschool room

I sometimes change this around as this is week 2 and the loft room needed attention, so I switched week 2 and 3 around this month.

After we are done breakfast and animal chores, we start on the zone area.  I only let us work on this for 20-30 min., but we do it every day for that week so it gets a bit of an intense clean.  The rest of the house is still generally maintained, we don't ignore it, just not as intense. 

At first it seems overwhelming to do this intense clean, but as the weeks go by, we've noticed it isn't as hard anymore as now it feels like we are just maintaining, not always starting from scratch.

For each zone I've printed off chore cards which the kids can pick from and over the course of the week we try to do each card.  Some months the cards don't get all done or I pass on some as they don't really need to be done that month, but for the most part, they all get done to some degree.

This has helped my sanity when I feel like my kitchen drawers are covered in crumbs, for example, as now I know it'll get cleaned out in a couple weeks.  Or if I'm drowning in disorder in the mudroom, I know next week we can focus on that.  My frustration levels stay at a lower level as I know eventually we will get to it. 

Ok, here's the tie-in....The frustration-o-meter is always an indication that there is debt lingering around the house....am I right????  I remember, sadly to say, when I only had 3 kids, I felt a low level of frustration brewing whenever I went upstairs into their rooms and found messes everywhere that had been there growing over time that I had simply never noticed.  I had no real systems in place at that time, so I literally went from mess to mess (I still do to some degree as now there is a whole new group of trainees living here, but again, now there is a way to deal with it).  My poor kids never knew what was making me feel frustrated.  I didn't even really know what was bothering me until I discovered a systematic approach to cleaning my house.  It wasn't really their faults that I wasn't checking up on how they were maintaining their rooms?  I had never trained them, so how were they to know?

Where was I borrowing from?  Sometimes debt accumulates, not because you borrow, per se, but because you are simply unaware of how you are spending your money.  In the same way, in our homes, messes occur simply because we are unaware of how we are spending our time.  We don't even realize how much time is being wasted throughout the day.  For us, back then, it was in front of the TV.  We had cable then and I would watch a show here and there throughout the day.  We have since then taken that out of the home - it was just way too big of a distraction (and a cost), not to mention very little was being added to our lives by watching it.  We now have a collection of dvds to choose from, but that is it - best decision we ever made.

We also didn't have a plan back then.  Flylady talks about those gifted women who are born-organized - this is not me.  I definitely had to learn this which is tricky as it is definitely not my nature.  I had no idea how to organize my time effectively.  So debt, or mess, or disorder, simply accumulated, slowly but surely, in my life and when this happens it becomess full-blown chaos and we have no idea how it got there or where to begin.  Thus, the frustration-o-meter goes through the roof.

Coming across these two resources, between the Maxwells and the Flylady have really changed my life.  I consider these people mentors in my life, though they both live in the States.  By using their suggestions, I am slowly chipping away at the chaos-debt I've accumulated over my parenting years.  I'm not sure if I will ever be chaos-debt-free while there are little ones running around, but I want to be more on top of it for sure.  Don't go in my basement.....I've got a ways to go there!  If you were to take a Frustration Test to check my levels, you would notice they have gone waaaaaay down.  I'm not as easily frustrated anymore. 

So to those whose levels are high - it is not too late!  Get some systems in place so you won't have a Frustration Attack.  They say heart attacks are one of the highest killers for women.  In reality, what is killing most families and their happiness is more along the lines of Frustration Attacks!  It is another silent (or not so silent judging by the unhappy growls of mothers around the world!) killer in our homes.  Turn off the Frustration-o-Meter for good.

Who Cut in on You?

<sup>(Sorry about my weird fonts today.....blame blogger.)

Are you as easily discouraged as myself?  I can fall into discouragement so easily even though I am so convicted and even though I am so motivated to get debt-free.  How is this possible?  Well, my mom said it well. 

When she first found out what we were doing, she was very encouraging, but she did have a word of warning, "Make sure you put on your spiritual armour as Satan is going to try to attack you.  He will not like what you are doing."  I heeded her words, but I still wasn't prepared entirely.

The attacks never come from where you think they'll come from.  Satan is so wiley.  Guess where they come from?  My own voice inside my head.

I heard someone once say to me, "Refuse to compare.  You are unique.  You have nothing to prove."

My mistake is comparing - big time.  Is it coincidence that I have heard of more than one family paying off their mortgage in the next month or two?  What?????  What about me?????  How is this possible?  So, immediately, I slip into despair, woe is me, I wish I were further along, sob.  So, Satan succeeds because I hear that voice in my head telling me I'm a failure because it isn't our family.  I may as well quit. 

Well, let me help you out, if my sad story reminds me of yourself.  Once again, there is hope and where do I get it of course?  Scripture, naturally.

Galatians 5:1 begins with a great message, " It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."  (I'm hoping you noticed that I emphasize or bold just about everything in that verse.)  I realize Paul is talking about freedom from the law and being circumcised, as the passage goes on, but to me, there is a much greater principle at work here as well.  It is the freedom Christ offers us in all areas of our life.  Freedom from sin and the bondage of anything, like debt, if we follow Biblical principles.  Paul knows how weak these Galatians are and he reminds them to "stand firm".  He warns them to not let themselves "be burdened again by a yoke of slavery".  Is that not how you feel when you are carrying a financial burden - like it is a yoke of slavery?????  We do.

Paul goes on and this is my favourite part....
"7</sup> You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? ⁸ That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. ⁹ “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” ¹⁰ I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. ¹¹ Brothers and sisters, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. ¹² As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!"

Again, it is clear he is talking about circumcision and how the Galatians, as new believers, were doing really great at first, but then some "agitators" came along and told them they had to be circumcised - they fell for this and they got all messed up which is why Paul had to address this issue for them.

How can this relate to us?  We are clearly not struggling with whether or not to be circumcised, at least I'm not!  I think the point is, we are running a race in another way - to follow Christ and the principles laid out in Scripture.  For me, I'm running the "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Race, and guess what, someone cut in on me.  It was that voice inside my head.  Other times, I get cut off by those well-meaning friends I talked about who are out to tell me what I'm doing isn't really worthwhile and I should just relax and enjoy my money now, pay off debt later.  I get "thrown into confusion" just like the Galatians. 

Trust me, I'm not saying paying off debt is what saves me..."in that case the offense of the cross has been abolished".  No, I'm trying to show my faith by getting what hinders my faith out of my life.  I get slowed down by, I love the way he describes these people, "those agitators".  I'm not going to suggest they "go the whole way and emasculate themselves"....that seems a bit harsh!  I'm just going to suggest I ignore the criticism from the voice inside my own head or from those who are making me feel like I am wasting my time.

There, now I'm back on track, just like that.  It really is that simple for me.  When I'm feeling discouraged I need to immediately stop and ask myself where that feeling came from, i.e., just like Paul, ask myself, "Who is cutting in on me?"  Once I identify it then I must ask myself if it is a valid criticism or is it an attack from Satan specifically set out to discourage me?  Most of the time it is not valid and it really is a flaming dart from the enemy.  A good reminder to me to be more on guard as I really was "running a good race" at the time. 

Another version says, "Who hindered you from obeying the truth?"  I am trying to obey and I get hindered from obeying.  It makes sense.  If Satan can keep me in debt, then I'm in bondage longer and then I'm way less effective as a Christian, as a mom, as a wife, as a church member....you get the idea.

So, I take heart and I try to stay in the Word as it gives me the only true encouragement to press on.  Losing focus will land me back in the pit of despair.

Let me quickly share a small moment of success this weekend.....

I was way behind on dinner on Saturday night.  Everyone was starving.  Typically, we would have quickly ordered in pizza or gone out for dinner.  Renaissance Man was also hungry and knew I was in a pinch.  Everyone had been working outside all day and they were also cold, so off he went and picked up some hot chocolate (on sale) and while he was there he saw that the frozen (yuck) pizzas were on an amazing sale.  He called me and suggested he pick some up (yuck).  Ok, go ahead.  In a few minutes  (yuck) we were eating frozen pizzas.  But guess what?  They weren't yuck!  The new ones actually had fresh vegetables on them and real garlic - I was amazed.  The kids loved them and we had the restaurant feel for a fraction of the price.  Dinner was saved!  It's a small victory, but I think it's a new behaviour I'm celebrating more than anything, for all of us.

On that note, watch out for anyone, including your own voice inside your head, that is trying to cut in on you or hinder you this week!  Freedom is around the corner......

More Hours in My Day

You may wonder how it is possible to create more hours in your day and also wonder how this could be related to debt, but it goes back to the post on debt being more than a financial problem.  We see debt in all areas of our life.  We borrow from tomorrow all the time by procrastinating and not doing what we should have done today.

We decided enough was enough...again!

I've used the series Managers of Your Chores, Managers of Your Homes, and to a slightly lesser extent, Managers of Your School, all put out by the the Maxwell family.  I first came across this series almost by accident when I watched a show, taped for me by a friend as we didn't have cable, about the Duggar family.  In that show, Michelle Duggar had in the background a coloured schedule that outlined the childrens' day, where they should be at what time, what chores were to be done when, etc.  I'm not sure how I knew it was a Maxwell thing, but in my head I thought, "If it is good enough for the Duggar's, it is good enough for me!" 

I was expecting our fifth child seven years ago.  I had four other children under the age of 8 and my house was a mess.  I couldn't stay on top of it - the laundry, for one, and all the other messes as well.  I stopped sleeping at night as I was panicking about how I would handle another child. 

When I went to the homeschool conference that spring, I bought the whole series of Maxwell books and read them each night.  That summer I made a plan.  I wasn't sleeping anyways, so up I'd get at 4:30 a.m. and I started to create schedules and what they called Chore Packs.  By August, I was ready to do a trial run as the baby was due in September.  I hoped to have the house running smoothly before the baby came.

This is how I describe the Chore Packs to other people.  When I first read the Chore book, I was looking for a quick fix, something that would give me a clean house in 10 easy steps.  What I got was a Bible study on how to organize my home and children.  It was amazing.  This is why our family's life changed - because God's Word talks about having order (1Cor 14:33), it talks about establishing the works of our hands (Psalm 90:17), and for the first time in my mothering life, I felt peace about the chaos in my home.

I had all the kids around me and I explained how things needed to change and how God's Word gives us a plan.  I wanted them to know how to establish their own homes and that it was my job to train them as I wouldn't be living with them for the rest of their lives.  We all got really excited as I passed out their chore packs which explained their duties for each morning.

The key to the chore pack is they follow what is written on each little card that is attached by a clip to their clothes.  As they walk around doing their jobs, they take out each card and as they complete each task, they take out the card and put it at the back of the pile of card tasks, slipping it into the "pack", thus the name.  When they are finished, the chore pack is returned and I inspect.

That fall, our home was more orderly, the baby came and for the first time I felt I could have many more babies, Lord willing, and not panic anymore.  I knew I would be able to handle whatever came my way as our house was becoming more and more orderly.   Here we are at baby 8 and when that pregnancy was discovered, I didn't panic, I welcomed him as I knew I would be ok! 

Now, don't go thinking our home is perfect and always ready for guests.  It is not and anyone who knows me can attest to this.  Remember, I still have 5 kids under the age of 7!  So trust me, it is not perfect, but we can pull it together when we have to and people do drop in all the time, so we can basically get it together real quickly when we need to as we have a plan!  Even, when things run perfectly smoothly, my five year old isn't quite meeting my higher standard for tidying - it's impossible, she's 5.  So even in a well-run home, there has to be some give in the standards and I do try to be reasonable and encouraging as long as they show that they are trying.

Now, that the kids are older, they aren't all wearing chore packs anymore, but we still follow the same tasks each day and they must complete these things before school starts.  No one likes starting the day in a messy house.

The problem was, though these chore packs did not have long lists of things to do, something about the morning made things not go so fast.  What should have taken less than half an hour, ended up taking longer and longer.  Partly my fault for not staying on top of them I guess - we were all getting a little lazy.

So one day I started up something I had created years ago, but had forgotten to use as it means no procrastinating (and I loooove to procrastinate)......Evening Chore Packs!  These little gems have added HOURS to our day.  I'm not exaggerating.  So much so that some mornings we have so much time on our hands the kids beg me to start school as they have nothing to do!

This simple, simple idea is so, uh, simple, that you'll wonder why no one else does it and why you never thought of it before (though, you born-organized people will roll your eyes at me as you probably have done this for years - this is more for those of us who weren't born-organized).

All you have to do is explain right before bed-time (for us, it is right after family worship which normally starts around 6pm and can go for anywhere from a half hour to an hour if we include chit chat time).  So somewhere around 7 pm, I say, "Quick Evening Chore Pack!"

Everyone jumps up and says which room they'll do (there are easier rooms than others, so thus the jumping up!)  The oldest daughter and her sister usually do the kitchen which was done after dinner anyway, but somehow another dish or two gets in the sink and a final tidy is done so I can come down to a lovely clean kitchen in the morning (what a good feeling that is!).  The boys divvy up the family room, loft room and homeschool room (bathroom, if necessary).    Bedrooms get attended to as well, also, if necessary, as that takes up a lot of time in the morning.

The house looks good and we're left with just animal chores in the morning.

This has changed everything for us.  The chore debt is basically gone.  We'd been stealing from our school hours which explains why it is always so hard to stay on top of the curriculum.  No wonder! 
The key is to get the children to remind you how great you'll feel when you do the evening system because you won't want to do it!  But if you don't, the next morning just does not run smoothly.  Thank goodness for my second son - he is so faithful and each evening he says, "Mom, Evening Chore Packs!"  My husband and I do not feel like doing it ourselves as we're ready to put people in bed, not start up a whole cleaning system!  But then, we remember, so up I get and start getting kids to do their tasks, keeping in mind how great I'll feel the next day.  I never regret it.

Do you see the greater picture?  There is always a greater picture.  We cannot get stuck in the here and now.  We must be more forward thinking and this requires training and renewing of our minds.  Our old habits and and our old ways of thinking can be transformed!  Isn't this the beauty of the Christian life and the command of Romans 12 :2, "Do not be conformed to this world,^[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."  We need renewal and transformation! 

If you were a fly on the wall in my home you would see me walking around the house literally praying out loud sometimes all day long.  I commune with the Lord in the laundry room, at the sink, mopping the floors......always asking the Lord for strength, wisdom, guidance....for my husband, his work, the kids, their futures....whenever I'm feeling hopeless or discouraged....it is all day long.  It is a habit that I cannot recommend enough. 

One day I will not have sticky fingerprints on the wall and I will be sad about that, so I'm also trying to enjoy the sticky fingerprints!  But, while I do have children that make messes, I'm trying to train them to stop making messes!  Tricky balance, isn't it!?

"And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us, yea, the work of our hands establish thou it."  Ps. 90:17

That is my prayer.