Christmas is less than two weeks away. Not having the shopping stress has been one of the greatest new benefits since we made that "no gift" decision this year. Looking back at other years and how Renaissance Man had to make so many time sacrifices just so I could grab a few hours of shopping, let alone all the decisions we had to make for so many kids.....argh! I get stressed just thinking about it!
I was at the dentist for the older two this week, but I had brought everyone and we were being watched by a grandma with her one grandchild. She was quite fascinated. "Soooo," she said, "It must be really crazy on Christmas morning at your house!" I looked around at my two daughters who were listening in and just smiled. "Well.....," wondering how much to say. "Actually having so many children has really forced us to simplify over the years, so in fact, it really isn't as crazy as you'd think!" I had to raise my eyebrows at that one to my daughter as she and I both knew it wasn't the entire story, but I knew the grandma would never have understood and in the few minutes I had I figured it was a good enough answer. She had already asked me if I was crazy for having 8 kids, so I wasn't about to ask for more scorn. As we left, something changed in her.....I went over to say goodbye, even though we'd never met before, but we'd talked for at least 5 minutes so I felt it was the polite thing to do. "Have a good day!" I smiled at her. "You, too, " she responded. "Go and enjoy all your beautiful children you have. They really are all wonderful."
Sniff. Another hug from God above, wouldn't you say? She started off by telling me I was nuts to have so many kids, but then, and I'm not exaggerating, she spent only a few minutes with them (as she hadn't been there the whole time we'd been there) and in that short amount of time, I went from being a crazy person to a blessed mother of 8. Sometimes it just takes experiencing my life along with me to see the blessing of so many children and they weren't doing songs and dances, they were just existing! These children are definitely my gifts to me this year! I think sometimes I need to hear a comment like that from an outside source to really see what surrounds me day after day as I get used to my life and I don't see it from another person's perspective. The supernatural becomes common, but yesterday the common became supernatural.
I know I am either at the end or very close to the end of having any more children. My youngest daughter told me I can't draw as good as her because I'm almost like a grandma! So if she sees it, than I guess it's true! Taking the material gifts out of our lives this year has awakened my spiritual eyes to seeing what I have right here, right now....especially in the form of children.
I sometimes think I still need more stuff, but I'm starting to catch myself more and more, realizing the roots of those thoughts lie in discontentment, lack of gratefulness for what I have. By adding more and more to my life materially, I never have to be grateful for what I have now! But then, I look at the toys my kids have, that they've literally had for years and I want to buy them new toys, so technically I'm not discontent with my stuff, I'm now discontent with their stuff! Isn't that a degree better???? Please can't I get them something new!? I'm glad we put it in writing as I think I would let myself off the hook sometimes....I'm so weak! (I think I've mentioned that before. Sigh.) It is funny though, my littlest boys, who don't read flyers or see ads on TV, never seem to be noticing the toys they have have been around for years. They don't seem discontent. Why? Perhaps I'm the one who breeds the discontment in our home....hmmmm...don't want to think about that one.
All this to say, I'm glad we took ourselves out of the mayhem for this year at least, though I hardly think we could ever go back to what is used to be. I think things will somehow be permanently changed after this year in some way - I think on Christmas morning, when we all wake up and see an empty tree, besides the disappointment for perhaps some of the kids as they are used to seeing a full tree, I think a spiritual bond in our lives will be broken forever - I think this year will forever change the financial future of our family as we never want to go back. "No more let sin and sorrows grow, nor thorns infest the ground" - Joy to the World, verse 3... I love that song now.
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