My children and husband were very good to me on Mother's Day. I even had a Mother's Day Eve! That couldn't have made me happier! Renaissance Man had gone out for a few last minute items for breakfast the night before and picked up some sushi from the grocery store - one of my favourite things! Then in the morning, coffee in bed, another one of my favourite things, followed by an awesome breakfast, made by the oldest daughter, and then some sweet things to open, most of which were in desperate need in the kitchen. You know what I mean....ripped up tea towels were finally replaced! That's what I had asked for!
The first Porsche got delivered, but it seems with every car venture there has to be some adventure. The boys and RM went up and dropped it off. The owner of the car then dropped them off at the train station, but after he left they found out no trains ran at that stop on the weekends! They ended up having to walk over 10km to the next station. I don't know how they did it. RM's feet are still suffering. Fortunately it was warm, otherwise I would have had to drive the hour and a half to come get them. They made it and the car is gone and there is more money in the bank!
I always ask RM if he thought it was worth it. He always answers yes. Even if it seems like it was a small amount of money for all the work that went into it, he believes the boys learned sooooo much as did he! He also feels it is the Biblical principle of little by little in action.
It goes back to our little family motto - We've declared war on spare time. Every spare moment RM had, he was working on the car. He never sits around idly wondering what to do with his time. It is often determined for him. That is good though!
On a completely different note, we're both getting better at recognizing how fear used to paralyze us and really how our reactions to simple events in our lives that would have normally turned our day for the worse are now being reeled back in and not being allowed to determine our day. It was all habit.
Quick example - after delivering the Porsche, not even 24 hours later, he gets a text saying, "Not good news." It appears the car overheated after a full day of driving it by the owner. RM wasn't entirely surprised as he had suggested replacing the water pump, but the guy didn't want to spend more money. But now he's an hour and a half away and this will not be an easy fix! It could have been a simple coolant replacement, too, so the guy is going to try a couple of things before he has it towed back down here again, but what a pain in the neck! RM just wanted to be free of this thing (though it could make us more money!). He immediately felt a darkness come over him. He wonders if it is sometimes like the spirit that was sent to vex Saul when he was king over Israel, as that is how he describes how these things make him feel. But we've both had the epiphany that we cannot let ourselves be ruled by any spirit of fear and so right in front of all of us, he said, "This is a test. I'm not going to let it bother me. Whatever comes of this I'll deal with it." That was it. Interestingly, I immediately felt better, too. It's that oneness problem of marriage! When he feels heavily burdened by something, so do I. It's really very clever of Satan to vex one of the spouses in a marriage as it is a two for one deal! He can get both of us by just hitting one of us with an issue! UNLESS, we recognize what is going on, and that is exactly what we are determining to do.
Another quick example. Mother's Day. My parents live within an hour of us. His parents live 10 minutes from us. We were seeing my parents for lunch and I thought we would see his parents for dessert that night. But RM didn't communicate that to his parents so it appeared they were not in the loop and it looked like we were bad children! Immediately I felt this element of panic welling up in me as I hate to be perceived as a bad daughter-in-law! But I saw what was happening in my spirit and I stopped right then and there, took my thoughts captive and we calmly came up with plan B to call them again and invite them over as soon as we could get in touch with them. That's exactly what ended up happening and no one lost any sleep over the whole thing. Even in the event that I was misunderstood, I knew I needed to leave even that in the Lord's hands. I couldn't take on defending myself as well as the bad feelings that were entering into me. Often, if I don't deal with these negative feelings of fear right away, it can cause tension with RM (remember, that "oneness" thing again!) and I didn't want that to happen.
These are simple examples, but I feel major breakthroughs in our lives. Earlier this week, I was re-reminded again of the story of Joseph and how he got thrown in the well by his brothers and then into slavery. It wasn't long after that that he was serving in Pharoah's court in one of his highest positions, but then the Potiphar disaster and back in prison he goes. He wasn't there any short amount of time either - several years! I'm pretty sure Joseph was put there to learn some major life lessons and God wasn't about to take him out until he learned them, including humility. I shared that with RM. We are where we are to learn a bunch of life lessons, including humility as well as dealing with fear like I mentioned above. How we fight learning these lessons. We just want them to be learned already! But, whatever it takes, Lord. We'll stay in our prison, learning our lessons for as long as it takes. Am I super happy about it? Not exactly, if I'm entirely honest. I somehow doubt Joseph loved being in prison either, but it is another opportunity to take my thoughts captive, not only of fear, but of frustration in being here. Accepting where we are and knowing God is in on that plan, (it is no surprise to him) gives me a much more positive outlook on a daily basis and helps me see His constant blessings in our lives. Any other perspective immediately clouds my perception of life and all becomes dark.
Our passage from Hebrews 10 yesterday confirmed all that once again. The writer of Hebrews tries to encourage his readers to reflect on the past when they first were saved. Back then when there was so much persecution, they "joyfully accepted" it, including the "plundering of their property". They knew that they had a "better possessions and an abiding one" than just the things of this world. But they had forgotten, which is why the author took up his pen to write. "Therefore do not throw away your confidence." It's almost implied that they were about to throw away their confidence in the Lord. There is a "great reward" for enduring. What I like most in this passage is that it acknowledges that we even have need for endurance! Running the race is not easy. "For you have need of endurance." But God knows we need to know there is an end and there is! Heaven, eternal rewards. May I not be like those who "shrink back and are destroyed, but instead my I be like "those who have faith and preserve their souls." Having an eternal mindset will actually preserve my soul! It is a much greater thing than just getting through from day to day.
Again, what an encouragement Scripture is, it acknowledges the "hard struggle". It acknowledges we need endurance. It reminds us that we need confidence in our faith and, once again, that there is an eternal reward coming. That is my prayer for today.
Hebrews 10:
32 But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, 33 sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. 34 For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. 35 Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 Foryou have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. 37 For,
“Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
38 but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
38 but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.
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