This weekend was a recovery one for the family, especially after a tough week with church stuff. I got a little "alone" time by attending a homeschool conference for the day on Saturday. Still licking wounds, I was a little sensitive about seeing people or talking to people, but God seemed to have a plan and a path for me that day. I was supposed to see people and I was supposed to talk to people that day.
Right away I ran into a friendly face and a sweet baby whom I had never met since her birth, so that was sweet to see her in real life! Then I did end up speaking with someone from church, but it ended up being very positive and encouraging. As I was speaking to her, another friend showed up and literally just handed me something, saying, "This is for you." We couldn't talk much at that moment, but I looked down and she had given me a beautiful tote bag with a devotional book in it - for no apparent reason. She had no idea that it had been a hard week (or series of weeks, really). She had no idea who I was talking to at that moment. I just looked at her and I knew God had sent her to me.
Then, I left that woman (this is all in the span of 5-10 minutes of arriving in the door), and I immediately ran into another good friend that I hadn't seen in months. She also literally stopped the conversation she was having and also handed me a gift, saying it was for my son, a sweet little ducky-shaped homemade soap. Another moment where God just came down and met me in a tangible way, with gifts from heaven! "Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights..." So, I know it's true! Those gifts were from heaven and unlike my life, that seems to change all the time, sometimes for the better or worse, including even my church situation, "there is no variation or shadow due to change" with God. That's how that great verse in James ends. Perhaps He allowed me to receive those gifts on that day where my stomach was tied up in knots to remind me of that.
As the day went on, more women came into my life that I hadn't seen in ages including one in particular who makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. Every time I see her I start smiling. We joke almost the second we start talking. By the time I've left her I've gained more laugh lines, but I always leave with such a happy spirit.
I had also prayed that I would be able to connect with some women about the "Chores" seminar I give. I felt like it was a seminar that would benefit so many women and yet it was hard to get the contact information to the right people, so I asked that God would open doors. Almost immediately I ran into two more women that looked oddly familiar. They were staring and pointing at me, and that's when it dawned on me - I knew them! They had been at the Above Rubies Retreat with me. We had a great reconnection and sure enough, out of that quick meeting, I was able to get some contact names of people that would be able to potentially host a seminar.
I had even prayed before I got there that I would run into one lady in particular. I knew it was a big conference and I didn't actually know how I would find her as I hadn't ever met her. I only knew her name. She had turned down my seminar due to a miscommunication, I felt, and I wanted her to meet me in person. That way I felt I could clear up any confusion. I started to stare at people's name tags! I didn't have to stare for long though. Once again, I think God orchestrated the meeting, as I literally turned around after registering my daughter and the very person in front of me was this woman. I introduced myself and simply asked if I could clear anything up about the seminar. Right away the air was cleared and the next thing you know, a seminar was being booked for the fall - cool. I was amazed.
On top of all this I attended some great seminars and bought some VERY EXPENSIVE books for my kids, but when I got home and my husband asked me how the conference went, I didn't tell him much about the seminars or the books, I told him more about how God had me in the palm of His hand all day. Seeing friends that made me laugh, getting gifts from people that had no idea I needed a special touch that day, making new connections, clearing up confusion...... it was almost as if the conference was set up for me.
But I haven't even gotten to the best part yet.....I ran into my sister.
"Did you get a call from Mom?"
"Yes, but I missed it. What's going on?"
"She booked her ticket!"
"What????!!!!"
"We' re going!"
For the past few days we'd been talking about getting away as sisters with mom. We all felt like a little getaway would be fun and therapeutic. We'd never done anything like this as a group of related women, now including a new sister-in-law, and at this point in time, we're all healthy, there are no babies in the situation, so it seemed the timing was right. Mom had tried all sorts of options and we just couldn't seem to get anything to work. Then, out of the blue, we found a place.... in Florida! In their generosity, my parents are making it work - we're all able to fly on points and get away for just a few days. I can hardly believe it! And that was how my conference ended - knowing I was going to Florida with the closest women to me in my life! Talk about another gift from God.
When I write it all out, I can hardly believe the day of blessings I had. It just wouldn't seem to end. That sure doesn't happen every day, but at the same time, I think if I just would stop to recount all the things that went on in a day, I would see that God is always blessing me, in big and small ways. My eyes were certainly opened to His kindness to me that day.
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
Friday, 27 March 2015
Warning! Spiritual Traffic Ahead!
Due to lack of computers, I'm still finding it hard to write as often as I want, but I kind of wonder if God was keeping me silent. So much was going on that I probably would have written more than I should! Suffice it to say, as I come to the end of the 40 days, one of the things I was praying about was our church and over the course of the fast, an unbelievable amount of things went on. Without going into any details, all I know is the Lord was faithful and answered our prayers where we asked for clarity. Any confusion we felt is gone. We feel like God clearly sent answers to all of our questions. And, what is really interesting, is that we had a lot of questions or concerns for a long time before this, but I had never fasted specifically about the church before. During this fast, that is almost entirely what I committed to praying about. Almost as soon as I started praying, things started happening. It hasn't ended entirely like we thought it would, that is for sure, yet we have peace - and that is what we didn't have at the beginning of the fast. I can't say more as it is all too sensitive, but if I ever needed encouragement on why to fast, I can certainly speak, once again, to how God honoured it and why I believe it is such a critical Christian discipline that few preach on (in fact, now that I think about it, I've never heard a sermon entirely devoted to the topic of fasting).
Now, what about my sad friend who also fasted during these last 40 days, but did not see near the "breakthroughs" I did, specifically with respect to her husband. Well, my encouragement to her will be - don't stop. She might not want to hear that, but the thing is, I think if we had spiritual eyes that could see what goes on in the heavenly realm, I think she might see that the bond that is in the way is a big one and one that takes even more fasting and more praying. In other words, I don't think she should give up until she sees breakthrough.
How can I say those kinds of things? In Daniel 10, an angel is sent to Daniel to encourage him an he says, "Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words. The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, and came to make you understand what is to happen to your people in the latter days." Then later he says, "but now I will return to fight against the prince of Persia." I have heard this explained as a literal description of a battle in the spiritual kingdom - between the angels and the demons. An angel was sent to minister to Daniel and was literally held up in spiritual traffic! He got away as fast as he could, but he had to go back to the spiritual car wreck and finish off his business!
I can't help but think that is what is happening in my friend's life. It isn't that her prayers aren't being answered. No. They are! But there is a battle going on for her marriage, her husband, her future, and Satan is sending all sorts of spiritual traffic to stop all messengers of encouragement to her, to make her feel like her prayers aren't being answered. Instead, to me, the opposite is true - there is a battle being waged where she cannot see. Her job now is to immerse herself into the Scriptures and listen to the messages that were sent to those in similar situations and see what God said to them. Those same messages apply to her!
Daniel was exhausted. He was getting vision after vision and it was taking the life out of him! He said to the angel, "O my lord, by reason of the vision pains have come upon me, and I retain no strength. How can my lord's servant talk with my lord? For now no strength remains in me and no breath is left in me." The angel said words that we should all take to heart, "O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage." Greatly loved. We are all greatly loved. My friend is greatly loved. She needs to hear these words to stay strong and to be of good courage! This battle isn't over yet! The angel had to leave Daniel and get back to the fight! She can't stop fasting or praying either! I think some battles are shorter, but there are others that are much greater and much longer. More is at stake.
Some of the issues that have gone on over the past 20+ years cannot be fixed in a day. The greatest thing I would tell her, too, is that her husband is not her responsibility. He is God's responsibility. I think she understands this as she continues to tell me she is just doing what she can do. At this point, her husband doesn't seem to be even noticing all the little (and big) things she is now doing, the efforts she is making. I'm sure it feels like it is all in vain at times. It is not.
The king of Persia. Standing in my way, standing in her way. Trying to defeat those who are trying to send messages of encouragement to me, to her. Delays in answers. Things are not always as they appear. So much to keep in mind! The book of Daniel is such an encouragement. He prays at the end of Chapter 9, "O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. Delay not, for your own sake, O my God, , because your city and your people are called by your name." My prayer is the same, for myself, for my friend, "O Lord, hear! Forgive! Pay attention and act! Delay not!" I am not bossing God around. I'm appealing to Him to intervene in her situation and to continue to do so in my life.
Daniel was actually told when all the visions he had seen would come to fruition. "I heard, but I did not understand." I think even if God told me and my friend when all things would come to fruition, we would be like Daniel, either not believing it or not understanding. Daniel was told to go his way till the end. In other words, keep on keeping on. "And you shall rest and shall stand in your allotted place at the end of the days." We have no choice but to trust Almighty God in the unknown and then, in the end, we will stand in our allotted place. I can rest in that. I have to!
Friday, 20 March 2015
Discomfort is Exactly What I Need
Quite a few days have passed when I would have loved to have written, but, once again, we've got a shortage of working computers! Laptops just don't work with large families, my husband has decided. And.... if we ever get another computer again...... it will be a desktop..... one that can't be moved or picked up by a toddler. Enough said.
Warning..... long post ahead....
It has been a full week. Out here it is March Break. It started off with school though. We heard through my brother that John Lennox was coming to town. I admit, I didn't know who that was either. Turns out, he sat under C.S. Lewis himself and heard his teaching.... live! He has since then become one of the most influential Christians in the U.K. traveling around debating the most famous of atheists, including Dawkins and Hawking. He came to debate another angry atheist in Toronto on Monday night and so we made an effort to take the older 4 and head on down. We knew some of it might fly over their heads in terms of content, but we wanted them exposed to these clashing worldviews. We wanted them to see not everyone believes what we believe. We wanted them to see how another Christian, and a highly educated one at that, would handle it. Lennox didn't disappoint. He stayed calm, cool, and collected the whole time while the atheist raged at him.
I didn't get to go to the debate as I was with the younger ones at my mom and dad's, but I did manage to hear him at a church in Toronto on the Sunday before as Lennox was in town the whole weekend. I was so moved to hear him as it felt like I was in the presence of Lewis himself. He's got to be in his 70s and completely lucid and humorous to listen to. Everything he said made sense as he was showing how right from the beginning of the Bible, God was in science. Yet the atheists don't want to see that. It makes no sense to them. It's not testable, they say. My favourite line from his talk was right at the end. He said, "Give me 5 atheists whose lives have been changed by atheism and I'll give you 5,000 Christians whose lives have been changed..... for the better. It's testable," he said, "that's the proof." God is in science? For sure. But changed lives? Isn't that what really proves the existence of God? There really is no other way to explain how a marriage gets brought back together that is failing or how a life gets turned around that is falling apart. Well worth the loooong drive into Toronto that morning.
A few weeks before this, I had suggested that my daughter consider putting on a sewing camp for little girls or anyone that was interested in learning how to sew. She seemed quite keen and quickly put together a flyer and an email and sent it out to our church and our homeschool group. She soon had 5 girls signed up and she was good to go! It started this past week and will finish today. I don't really know what to say except that I have walked around all week in awe - I was praising God the whole first day as I watched my two daughters from a distance, having no input from me whatsoever, teaching all these little girls. I was so thankful to have this opportunity, to have my girls bless these other girls with what they've learned. Each little girl there was so happy, so thrilled to be learning. My daughter had come up with some cute little ideas that could all be done in one 2 1/2 hour period of time so each day they left with a huuuge feeling of accomplishment. I was certainly proud of both daughters, but I was really thanking God mostly as I was so pleased that not only were they making a little extra money on the side, but that they were building into other's lives. I loved that so much industry was going on right under my roof! I couldn't believe that I was on the outside looking in! I'm so shocked that my kids need me less and less in so many ways with each passing day! It was also neat to see how my oldest daughter was letting her younger sister be a part of it as it was not really her "deal". But (and I thought this might happen), my oldest definitely needed her little sister to help out as each little girl was needing so much help as some of them were only 7. I think it really gave a little confidence boost to my younger daughter because she didn't know how good at sewing and using the machine she actually was! I was so happy, so grateful to just let them take off and do this. It's given them an appetite for more and now she wants to do more of these little camps in the summer. I love it!
Meanwhile, we'd been praying this whole time for my oldest son and his opportunity to work in a vet clinic. My husband took a lot of his work hours to help create a co-op position for my son, figuring out all the insurance details, etc. It took a lot of sacrifice on my husband's behalf, but it all came together and by God's grace, he had an interview this week and was hired on the spot. Hired, meaning volunteer! But we were so happy! He had his first day yesterday. I was praying and so hopeful that he would come back having a sense that this was what he wanted to do. As soon as he walked in the door, I could tell, he LOVED it. His face was literally lit up! He went on and on as he described his tasks. Yes, some of it involved vacuuming and dusting (so glad I was able to teach him those great life skills!) as the clinic is full of animal hair - yuck! But then he also saw some parasites under a microscope and helped with an animal getting his I.V. out, walked a cute puppy, saw a euthanized dog, calmed a dog that was getting his shots...... he loved every minute of it. I can't believe I ever wondered if he wouldn't love it, but maybe it's because I was putting myself in his place - I wouldn't love it. So glad God is customizing my children's lives. Giving them the opportunities that each one is supposed to have.
My next son, the second boy, was missing his brother all day. He seemed lost without his big brother. When my son came home after being away, I was so sure he would want to run in and tell us all about his day (as he also had a great opportunity to help with a friend's dad making candles out of beeswax this week!), he saw his brother and our dog and instead of coming in, he went on a long walk with his two best friends. It was special to watch from the kitchen window as they walked down the road together. Again, I wasn't the one he wanted to tell, it was his brother. It has made us realize that we've got the first two well on their paths of education and direction. Now, we've got to really focus on the remaining children. So right away we started talking to this other son. He has a ton of interests and skills. It's just a matter of focusing on which one would be best suited to him. Which one would best provide for a future family? We can't relax or miss a beat..... there are a lot of kids to focus on and we don't want to overlook any of them in the process of getting these older two out and on their way!
This week saw my phone take a swim in the toilet. It was dead. My only form of communication was gone. It seemed like a very frivolous thing to bring to our church ladies to pray about, but I did anyway as I really did need it (well, you know what I mean). There was no way we were going to replace it, that's for sure. My daughter took it in to the Apple store to see if there was some way they could fix it. The guy at the store seemed to know what the problem was. But then, he came back to my daughter and said, "We don't normally do this, but I'm going to give you a new one. You seem like you could use a break." WHAT?!!! I couldn't believe it when my daughter phoned me later, from my new phone, to tell me that! That was no small miracle - that saved us hundreds of dollars. I immediately emailed the ladies who had prayed to tell them the miracle! It was awesome!
The rest of the week has been filled with little trips to the library with the little people as they run cute shows all week for just $3. So sweet. It's a little tradition we have. I used to take all 8, but each year a few less go - I treasure those times when all of them wanted to come. It's also maple syrup season! We love going to all the places that give tours. It's also a tradition that I love. Yesterday, I was planning on going with 7 of the kids to a maple syrup/pancake house and as we started to drive, I felt the steering wheel pull hard to the right. That couldn't be good. As disappointed as we all were, I told the kids I had to turn around and go home. There was no way I was going to make the drive all that way just to get stranded on the side of the road. I turned around and drove slowly home with my hazards on. I made it home, changed vehicles and took just the younger 4 as the truck doesn't hold as many kids! The older ones were good about it though. A little bit later, my husband took the van to drive my son to his first day at the vet clinic. He made it to the clinic, but he didn't make it home. The van started to make sounds like it was falling apart, which it was, so he pulled off to the side of the road and to his shock, the right wheel was well on its way to nearly coming right off. All I can say is how grateful I am that it didn't come off, that he didn't have an accident, that it didn't happen when I had the 8 kids in the car, that it wasn't when I was driving......I really felt that as bad as it was, it could have been much worse!
Fortunately for us, we had a CAA membership which allowed him to get free towing long distances. So now, we have a busted vehicle which my husband described as a "catastrophic failure"! Oh dear. I know it's bad, but I found myself so grateful for how it all happened that shockingly, I was able to stay calm, borderline happy, and so aware that it was a test I must pass. I've been reading a book by Larissa and Ian Murphy, Eight Twenty Eight, about a couple who went through a test where the husband had a brain injury from a car accident. It is not the kind of test most people would want to endure. I was keenly aware that we had our health, all of us were alive and that it was something that yes, was going to be a major pain to fix, but we were all together, brains intact. Books like that sure help put things in perspective real fast.
What week goes by where there aren't both the good and the bad to deal with? Who am I to think I can get away with no trials? The book I was reading was written from the wife's perspective. She sure wants her husband to be healed and many amazing miracles have happened, but unless God intervenes more, she's married to someone that she'll always have to help. I tried to read the book as if our debt was my brain injured husband. Hardly a fair or comparable burden, but she talked just how I feel sometimes, wishing I had a life of ease or at least slightly easier! Wishing that we could just go out and either buy a new van or at the very least have someone else fix it instead of RM. He said that this fix will take days. Then I think, maybe one day, my brain-injured bank account will be better. Maybe it will get healed. But what if it never does? That might just be the case. Suddenly I read the book with that idea in mind. That was a scary thought. Everything she said was what I would have said, "I know it means continuing to enter into the darkness, turning myself over and over into and through the hands of the potter. I know that for some reason I still need this churning, this burning away into my heart, in order to keep going. If I could be given a way out that comes with an easier path, I would only find myself in a worse disposition than if I continue on in the difficulty.... Isn't this what I have been called to? This life of dependency on the One who made me? This life that doesn't make me comfortable, because discomfort is exactly what I need to make heaven more irresistible?"
Just like her, I have to be ok with my "life of dependency on the One who made me". I live a life way more comfortable than that woman. She desires heaven more than I do. Yet my trials are all I know and I am not comfortable 100% of the time. According to her, discomfort is what I need! I know this is true, just not what I want to hear sometimes.
Easter is approaching. I continue to pray all day sometimes it seems. I believe God is working. I see Him in just about everything, even in the close calls. I see how mini-battles are won on a daily basis here. Yet, there are battles just the same, attacks on me personally and on our family. Any thoughts of discouragement, frustration, or anger at our situation have to constantly be kept at bay. This same author, Larissa Murphy says it well, "I know that I can't listen to those thoughts, can't act on them or try to validate them. Instead I need to push them back with the force of knees bent. Truth must win. It has to win." What is that truth? That God is sovereign. He has a plan for my life. It may not be an easy plan or a walk in the park, so to speak, but a plan nevertheless. If I take away discouragement's food, which is the devil's lies telling me all is hopeless, than I'm finding discouragement starves to death. That's what I've learned this week - In not giving in to the lies of the enemy, truth wins, discouragement dies. It has to.
Warning..... long post ahead....
It has been a full week. Out here it is March Break. It started off with school though. We heard through my brother that John Lennox was coming to town. I admit, I didn't know who that was either. Turns out, he sat under C.S. Lewis himself and heard his teaching.... live! He has since then become one of the most influential Christians in the U.K. traveling around debating the most famous of atheists, including Dawkins and Hawking. He came to debate another angry atheist in Toronto on Monday night and so we made an effort to take the older 4 and head on down. We knew some of it might fly over their heads in terms of content, but we wanted them exposed to these clashing worldviews. We wanted them to see not everyone believes what we believe. We wanted them to see how another Christian, and a highly educated one at that, would handle it. Lennox didn't disappoint. He stayed calm, cool, and collected the whole time while the atheist raged at him.
I didn't get to go to the debate as I was with the younger ones at my mom and dad's, but I did manage to hear him at a church in Toronto on the Sunday before as Lennox was in town the whole weekend. I was so moved to hear him as it felt like I was in the presence of Lewis himself. He's got to be in his 70s and completely lucid and humorous to listen to. Everything he said made sense as he was showing how right from the beginning of the Bible, God was in science. Yet the atheists don't want to see that. It makes no sense to them. It's not testable, they say. My favourite line from his talk was right at the end. He said, "Give me 5 atheists whose lives have been changed by atheism and I'll give you 5,000 Christians whose lives have been changed..... for the better. It's testable," he said, "that's the proof." God is in science? For sure. But changed lives? Isn't that what really proves the existence of God? There really is no other way to explain how a marriage gets brought back together that is failing or how a life gets turned around that is falling apart. Well worth the loooong drive into Toronto that morning.
A few weeks before this, I had suggested that my daughter consider putting on a sewing camp for little girls or anyone that was interested in learning how to sew. She seemed quite keen and quickly put together a flyer and an email and sent it out to our church and our homeschool group. She soon had 5 girls signed up and she was good to go! It started this past week and will finish today. I don't really know what to say except that I have walked around all week in awe - I was praising God the whole first day as I watched my two daughters from a distance, having no input from me whatsoever, teaching all these little girls. I was so thankful to have this opportunity, to have my girls bless these other girls with what they've learned. Each little girl there was so happy, so thrilled to be learning. My daughter had come up with some cute little ideas that could all be done in one 2 1/2 hour period of time so each day they left with a huuuge feeling of accomplishment. I was certainly proud of both daughters, but I was really thanking God mostly as I was so pleased that not only were they making a little extra money on the side, but that they were building into other's lives. I loved that so much industry was going on right under my roof! I couldn't believe that I was on the outside looking in! I'm so shocked that my kids need me less and less in so many ways with each passing day! It was also neat to see how my oldest daughter was letting her younger sister be a part of it as it was not really her "deal". But (and I thought this might happen), my oldest definitely needed her little sister to help out as each little girl was needing so much help as some of them were only 7. I think it really gave a little confidence boost to my younger daughter because she didn't know how good at sewing and using the machine she actually was! I was so happy, so grateful to just let them take off and do this. It's given them an appetite for more and now she wants to do more of these little camps in the summer. I love it!
Meanwhile, we'd been praying this whole time for my oldest son and his opportunity to work in a vet clinic. My husband took a lot of his work hours to help create a co-op position for my son, figuring out all the insurance details, etc. It took a lot of sacrifice on my husband's behalf, but it all came together and by God's grace, he had an interview this week and was hired on the spot. Hired, meaning volunteer! But we were so happy! He had his first day yesterday. I was praying and so hopeful that he would come back having a sense that this was what he wanted to do. As soon as he walked in the door, I could tell, he LOVED it. His face was literally lit up! He went on and on as he described his tasks. Yes, some of it involved vacuuming and dusting (so glad I was able to teach him those great life skills!) as the clinic is full of animal hair - yuck! But then he also saw some parasites under a microscope and helped with an animal getting his I.V. out, walked a cute puppy, saw a euthanized dog, calmed a dog that was getting his shots...... he loved every minute of it. I can't believe I ever wondered if he wouldn't love it, but maybe it's because I was putting myself in his place - I wouldn't love it. So glad God is customizing my children's lives. Giving them the opportunities that each one is supposed to have.
My next son, the second boy, was missing his brother all day. He seemed lost without his big brother. When my son came home after being away, I was so sure he would want to run in and tell us all about his day (as he also had a great opportunity to help with a friend's dad making candles out of beeswax this week!), he saw his brother and our dog and instead of coming in, he went on a long walk with his two best friends. It was special to watch from the kitchen window as they walked down the road together. Again, I wasn't the one he wanted to tell, it was his brother. It has made us realize that we've got the first two well on their paths of education and direction. Now, we've got to really focus on the remaining children. So right away we started talking to this other son. He has a ton of interests and skills. It's just a matter of focusing on which one would be best suited to him. Which one would best provide for a future family? We can't relax or miss a beat..... there are a lot of kids to focus on and we don't want to overlook any of them in the process of getting these older two out and on their way!
This week saw my phone take a swim in the toilet. It was dead. My only form of communication was gone. It seemed like a very frivolous thing to bring to our church ladies to pray about, but I did anyway as I really did need it (well, you know what I mean). There was no way we were going to replace it, that's for sure. My daughter took it in to the Apple store to see if there was some way they could fix it. The guy at the store seemed to know what the problem was. But then, he came back to my daughter and said, "We don't normally do this, but I'm going to give you a new one. You seem like you could use a break." WHAT?!!! I couldn't believe it when my daughter phoned me later, from my new phone, to tell me that! That was no small miracle - that saved us hundreds of dollars. I immediately emailed the ladies who had prayed to tell them the miracle! It was awesome!
The rest of the week has been filled with little trips to the library with the little people as they run cute shows all week for just $3. So sweet. It's a little tradition we have. I used to take all 8, but each year a few less go - I treasure those times when all of them wanted to come. It's also maple syrup season! We love going to all the places that give tours. It's also a tradition that I love. Yesterday, I was planning on going with 7 of the kids to a maple syrup/pancake house and as we started to drive, I felt the steering wheel pull hard to the right. That couldn't be good. As disappointed as we all were, I told the kids I had to turn around and go home. There was no way I was going to make the drive all that way just to get stranded on the side of the road. I turned around and drove slowly home with my hazards on. I made it home, changed vehicles and took just the younger 4 as the truck doesn't hold as many kids! The older ones were good about it though. A little bit later, my husband took the van to drive my son to his first day at the vet clinic. He made it to the clinic, but he didn't make it home. The van started to make sounds like it was falling apart, which it was, so he pulled off to the side of the road and to his shock, the right wheel was well on its way to nearly coming right off. All I can say is how grateful I am that it didn't come off, that he didn't have an accident, that it didn't happen when I had the 8 kids in the car, that it wasn't when I was driving......I really felt that as bad as it was, it could have been much worse!
Fortunately for us, we had a CAA membership which allowed him to get free towing long distances. So now, we have a busted vehicle which my husband described as a "catastrophic failure"! Oh dear. I know it's bad, but I found myself so grateful for how it all happened that shockingly, I was able to stay calm, borderline happy, and so aware that it was a test I must pass. I've been reading a book by Larissa and Ian Murphy, Eight Twenty Eight, about a couple who went through a test where the husband had a brain injury from a car accident. It is not the kind of test most people would want to endure. I was keenly aware that we had our health, all of us were alive and that it was something that yes, was going to be a major pain to fix, but we were all together, brains intact. Books like that sure help put things in perspective real fast.
What week goes by where there aren't both the good and the bad to deal with? Who am I to think I can get away with no trials? The book I was reading was written from the wife's perspective. She sure wants her husband to be healed and many amazing miracles have happened, but unless God intervenes more, she's married to someone that she'll always have to help. I tried to read the book as if our debt was my brain injured husband. Hardly a fair or comparable burden, but she talked just how I feel sometimes, wishing I had a life of ease or at least slightly easier! Wishing that we could just go out and either buy a new van or at the very least have someone else fix it instead of RM. He said that this fix will take days. Then I think, maybe one day, my brain-injured bank account will be better. Maybe it will get healed. But what if it never does? That might just be the case. Suddenly I read the book with that idea in mind. That was a scary thought. Everything she said was what I would have said, "I know it means continuing to enter into the darkness, turning myself over and over into and through the hands of the potter. I know that for some reason I still need this churning, this burning away into my heart, in order to keep going. If I could be given a way out that comes with an easier path, I would only find myself in a worse disposition than if I continue on in the difficulty.... Isn't this what I have been called to? This life of dependency on the One who made me? This life that doesn't make me comfortable, because discomfort is exactly what I need to make heaven more irresistible?"
Just like her, I have to be ok with my "life of dependency on the One who made me". I live a life way more comfortable than that woman. She desires heaven more than I do. Yet my trials are all I know and I am not comfortable 100% of the time. According to her, discomfort is what I need! I know this is true, just not what I want to hear sometimes.
Easter is approaching. I continue to pray all day sometimes it seems. I believe God is working. I see Him in just about everything, even in the close calls. I see how mini-battles are won on a daily basis here. Yet, there are battles just the same, attacks on me personally and on our family. Any thoughts of discouragement, frustration, or anger at our situation have to constantly be kept at bay. This same author, Larissa Murphy says it well, "I know that I can't listen to those thoughts, can't act on them or try to validate them. Instead I need to push them back with the force of knees bent. Truth must win. It has to win." What is that truth? That God is sovereign. He has a plan for my life. It may not be an easy plan or a walk in the park, so to speak, but a plan nevertheless. If I take away discouragement's food, which is the devil's lies telling me all is hopeless, than I'm finding discouragement starves to death. That's what I've learned this week - In not giving in to the lies of the enemy, truth wins, discouragement dies. It has to.
Thursday, 12 March 2015
No Portion, No Right, No Claim
A couple days ago I had multiple opportunities to pray as I cleaned up around the house. My heart felt a certain heaviness that was almost palpable, a heaviness for just about everything I was praying for. Again, I just went through all the things I was praying for and then at the end I said, "Just help me to see You somehow today - show me your miracles. Help me to see You are working!"
The first miracle was one that is so obvious, but it really struck me the more I thought about it.... the miracle of birth. My friend delivered her 8th baby yesterday, the first one at home. It almost didn't happen though and this is where the miracle came in. This is also why I love midwives so much. The labour had gone on for two nights and the mom was losing strength to finish and push the baby out. She had dilated almost to 10 cm but the contractions weren't coming. The midwife knew she needed just a little bit of oxytocin, but the problem was she was a vbac and the doctor at the hospital wouldn't give that to a vbac. Knowing this, the midwife consulted with another midwife and she reminded her, "If you go now she'll be going in an ambulance." And, I think everyone knew it would end in a C-section. A genius idea came to the midwives - just give her a little saline solution to rehydrate her and some honey! It worked! She dilated to 10 cm, she got enough strength back to push the baby out with virtually no contractions and voilà! A baby! When I saw her at home a few hours later, I said to her, "You know you just got 2 months of your life given back to you!" If she had had the C she would have been incapacitated for almost 2 months. It's hard to imagine, but it's true. I was so happy for her that it turned out to be just a regular birth at home where she didn't need to move or do anything afterwards - definitely a miracle.
That was just at 9 am! There was more to come! The day wasn't over yet! After dinner sometime, I got this awesome text with a picture of a finger and a shiny diamond ring - it was Jen, she was officially engaged! Those two had been secretly planning their wedding for weeks, but couldn't say anything until they got the ring.... but they wanted to make sure they had the hall booked and the date they wanted which, amazingly they got, even though they'll be married in such a short time - June 20! Having something to look forward to each year is awesome! I thought it was just going to be my 20th anniversary which is big enough I suppose, but a wedding? That's even more fun!
The planning is beginning and, fortunately for all my daughters, they will be a big part of the planning. She's having them all involved in some way including the little prayer warriors - the 6 and 11 year olds - so sweet..... the flower girl and the junior bridesmaid. She's taking a risk, but she's having Jonas (I've already written his name, so why not call him his name..... ) be the ringbearer! I warned her, he might take the rings, run down the hall and either throw them down a grate or out a window, but he's so darn cute that she's willing to take the risk! I would, too. He's already praying each day about his big job - "When do I do this? Is it before or after my birthday?" Very cute.
I marvel at God's answer to prayer in both Jen and Roger's lives and found myself just praising God all day as I walked around the house thinking about what had happened in such a short time.
How can anyone doubt the goodness of God when such amazing miracles like birth and weddings are going on all around me? Unfortunately my humanity is surprisingly weak. My faith is growing undoubtedly, but the attacks don't stop. As I've written before most of the attacks that are happening to us right now were going on in almost the exact same way at the exact same time last year. I'm sure RM walked in last year and said what he said to me yesterday, "Just got the corporate tax email." I'm sure it was for the same amount and everything. I'm sure we both worried if we'd be able to pay it. I'm sure it came on probably the worst day to get it last year, too. Yesterday, when he got the email from his accountant it came after a series of blows that happened in the morning alone - machines not working properly, animal crises, problems on a job-site, kids screaming, mommy pulling her hair out..... is there ever a good time to get an email telling you that you owe a large sum of money?
But I reminded RM of how our life is simply repeating itself year after year and how last year we somehow were able to pay the bill. Last year, we probably had an animal crisis, too. Last year we had problems on the job-site. Our kids still run and scream, but they won't forever and quite frankly, screaming is a good sign that they are alive and not sick in a hospital. I'm sure parents of sick children wish their children could run and scream. Last year, whatever we struggled with we got through by God's grace which means this year we will also make it, by God's grace only.
It's helpful to look back, to reflect. If I didn't, I think I would be stuck in today and I would panic. When I wasn't feeling so great during all the "blows" yesterday I remembered the old way I would have handled it. I would have stayed in a stressed state for who knows how long. I would have only gotten out of the state when things seemed resolved. Yesterday when RM saw me entering into that state he said, "Look, I'm telling you what's going on, but you know things will work out. They always do. You don't need to panic. I just need you to listen to me." And that was my "back to reality" moment where I grabbed my thoughts, quickly took them captive, stopped where the stress wanted to take me and just accepted the fact that God was in control despite all appearances. Just like that, my day went on. We went before the Lord in prayer as a couple and then later as a family.
Nothing had particularly changed in our lives. The bill still needed attention. But eventually the work crisis subsided, the machine started working again, the animals got taken care of and all was right with the world once again.
Even before all had settled down, I'd read with the kids from Nehemiah that morning. It was so good to see how Nehemiah handled stress. When he first found out that the walls of Jerusalem were broken down, he immediately fasted and prayed. He confessed and repented his part. Ok, good, check, I'm doing that. When he went before the king as cup bearer and appeared sad, the king asked him what was wrong. He explained why. Then the king asked him, "What are you requesting?" This is my favourite part - He didn't answer at first. Instead, it says, "So I prayed to the God of heaven." My translation? "So he shot up a quick prayer before he answered him." Why would he do that? He needed wisdom, fast. He needed to know how to answer the king, what to say. I do that all day long - quick prayers to the God of heaven. I often need to know how to respond to the kids or to my husband or to a friend.
It goes on to explain how he explained what he needed to fix the walls of Jerusalem. The section ends with another wonderful verse, "And the king granted what I asked for the good hand of my God was upon me." I said to the kids, "God will give us what we need to fix our situations because His good hand is upon us." I've thought about that so many times - His good hand is upon me. He will give me the resources I need to "fix my walls".
After inspecting the walls he goes back to the people who were "to do the work". He gives them the grim news, "You see the trouble we are in, how Jerusalem lies in ruins with the gates burned. Come let us build the wall of Jerusalem , that we may no longer suffer derision. And I told them of the hand of God that had been upon me for good..." (2:17, 18). It's not just us! Nehemiah admitted that he was in trouble, too! He describes being "in ruins" and how the gates were burned down to the ground. It must have seemed so hopeless, but just like Jacob commends his sons to stop looking at one another, Nehemiah also tries to inspire them, reminding them of God's good hand.
It must have been a pretty good pep talk because the people responded, "Let us rise up and build." And here again is another fantastic verse, "So they strengthened their hands for the good work." Clearly, what they were about to do was going to take supernatural strength and it would be grunt work, no doubt, but it was going to be "good work".
That is one of the things the missionary going to Zambia said on Sunday night. At the new university they are starting they would be teaching the Africans how to work, to not be afraid of work - it is what man was created to do. Building the wall would be a "good work". Nehemiah didn't want these people to be afraid to work either.
Here's what the enemy does though - he sends discouragement almost immediately. Three bad guys came along and as soon as they heard what was going on, "they jeered at us and despised us and said, 'What is this thing that you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king?'" Nehemiah doesn't lose it on them or panic. It seems to me he responds very matter-of-factly, "The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build, but you have no portion or right or claim to Jerusalem." Love it. That's what I told the kids we must say back against the discouragement that is sent from the pit of hell itself, "You have no portion or right or claim to me or to what God is doing in our life." What a great response to discouragement or any attacks Satan may send our way which he is quite relentless at doing! He clearly hates us, hates what our family is about, hates our attempts at killing debt. But we will "rise and build". We will keep doing all we can do.
I'm still not sure that God is going to prosper me how I want to be prospered, i.e., being debt-free in my lifetime, but that doesn't mean I won't be prosperous. I see myself being prosperous just by the very fact I'm able to be at home, I have my kids around me, I'm in a home, there is food in the fridge. I always have to remember the definition of prosper is more a state of mind and heart than of my bank account.
Every single day we are challenged it seems in some way. For Nehemiah, it was Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem. For me, it takes different forms or names. How Nehemiah ever came to be in the Bible is fascinating, but I'm so grateful this book is in there. I take such great encouragement from it. The Bible models a situation and how to handle it so clearly. Why do we struggle with what to do when a problem comes along? It's laid out in Scripture how to respond, what to say, what to do.....
Who will be my Sanballat, Tobiah or my Geshem today? The lesson I take from this portion of Scripture is clear: Satan has no portion, no right, no claim.
The first miracle was one that is so obvious, but it really struck me the more I thought about it.... the miracle of birth. My friend delivered her 8th baby yesterday, the first one at home. It almost didn't happen though and this is where the miracle came in. This is also why I love midwives so much. The labour had gone on for two nights and the mom was losing strength to finish and push the baby out. She had dilated almost to 10 cm but the contractions weren't coming. The midwife knew she needed just a little bit of oxytocin, but the problem was she was a vbac and the doctor at the hospital wouldn't give that to a vbac. Knowing this, the midwife consulted with another midwife and she reminded her, "If you go now she'll be going in an ambulance." And, I think everyone knew it would end in a C-section. A genius idea came to the midwives - just give her a little saline solution to rehydrate her and some honey! It worked! She dilated to 10 cm, she got enough strength back to push the baby out with virtually no contractions and voilà! A baby! When I saw her at home a few hours later, I said to her, "You know you just got 2 months of your life given back to you!" If she had had the C she would have been incapacitated for almost 2 months. It's hard to imagine, but it's true. I was so happy for her that it turned out to be just a regular birth at home where she didn't need to move or do anything afterwards - definitely a miracle.
That was just at 9 am! There was more to come! The day wasn't over yet! After dinner sometime, I got this awesome text with a picture of a finger and a shiny diamond ring - it was Jen, she was officially engaged! Those two had been secretly planning their wedding for weeks, but couldn't say anything until they got the ring.... but they wanted to make sure they had the hall booked and the date they wanted which, amazingly they got, even though they'll be married in such a short time - June 20! Having something to look forward to each year is awesome! I thought it was just going to be my 20th anniversary which is big enough I suppose, but a wedding? That's even more fun!
The planning is beginning and, fortunately for all my daughters, they will be a big part of the planning. She's having them all involved in some way including the little prayer warriors - the 6 and 11 year olds - so sweet..... the flower girl and the junior bridesmaid. She's taking a risk, but she's having Jonas (I've already written his name, so why not call him his name..... ) be the ringbearer! I warned her, he might take the rings, run down the hall and either throw them down a grate or out a window, but he's so darn cute that she's willing to take the risk! I would, too. He's already praying each day about his big job - "When do I do this? Is it before or after my birthday?" Very cute.
I marvel at God's answer to prayer in both Jen and Roger's lives and found myself just praising God all day as I walked around the house thinking about what had happened in such a short time.
How can anyone doubt the goodness of God when such amazing miracles like birth and weddings are going on all around me? Unfortunately my humanity is surprisingly weak. My faith is growing undoubtedly, but the attacks don't stop. As I've written before most of the attacks that are happening to us right now were going on in almost the exact same way at the exact same time last year. I'm sure RM walked in last year and said what he said to me yesterday, "Just got the corporate tax email." I'm sure it was for the same amount and everything. I'm sure we both worried if we'd be able to pay it. I'm sure it came on probably the worst day to get it last year, too. Yesterday, when he got the email from his accountant it came after a series of blows that happened in the morning alone - machines not working properly, animal crises, problems on a job-site, kids screaming, mommy pulling her hair out..... is there ever a good time to get an email telling you that you owe a large sum of money?
But I reminded RM of how our life is simply repeating itself year after year and how last year we somehow were able to pay the bill. Last year, we probably had an animal crisis, too. Last year we had problems on the job-site. Our kids still run and scream, but they won't forever and quite frankly, screaming is a good sign that they are alive and not sick in a hospital. I'm sure parents of sick children wish their children could run and scream. Last year, whatever we struggled with we got through by God's grace which means this year we will also make it, by God's grace only.
It's helpful to look back, to reflect. If I didn't, I think I would be stuck in today and I would panic. When I wasn't feeling so great during all the "blows" yesterday I remembered the old way I would have handled it. I would have stayed in a stressed state for who knows how long. I would have only gotten out of the state when things seemed resolved. Yesterday when RM saw me entering into that state he said, "Look, I'm telling you what's going on, but you know things will work out. They always do. You don't need to panic. I just need you to listen to me." And that was my "back to reality" moment where I grabbed my thoughts, quickly took them captive, stopped where the stress wanted to take me and just accepted the fact that God was in control despite all appearances. Just like that, my day went on. We went before the Lord in prayer as a couple and then later as a family.
Nothing had particularly changed in our lives. The bill still needed attention. But eventually the work crisis subsided, the machine started working again, the animals got taken care of and all was right with the world once again.
Even before all had settled down, I'd read with the kids from Nehemiah that morning. It was so good to see how Nehemiah handled stress. When he first found out that the walls of Jerusalem were broken down, he immediately fasted and prayed. He confessed and repented his part. Ok, good, check, I'm doing that. When he went before the king as cup bearer and appeared sad, the king asked him what was wrong. He explained why. Then the king asked him, "What are you requesting?" This is my favourite part - He didn't answer at first. Instead, it says, "So I prayed to the God of heaven." My translation? "So he shot up a quick prayer before he answered him." Why would he do that? He needed wisdom, fast. He needed to know how to answer the king, what to say. I do that all day long - quick prayers to the God of heaven. I often need to know how to respond to the kids or to my husband or to a friend.
It goes on to explain how he explained what he needed to fix the walls of Jerusalem. The section ends with another wonderful verse, "And the king granted what I asked for the good hand of my God was upon me." I said to the kids, "God will give us what we need to fix our situations because His good hand is upon us." I've thought about that so many times - His good hand is upon me. He will give me the resources I need to "fix my walls".
After inspecting the walls he goes back to the people who were "to do the work". He gives them the grim news, "You see the trouble we are in, how Jerusalem lies in ruins with the gates burned. Come let us build the wall of Jerusalem , that we may no longer suffer derision. And I told them of the hand of God that had been upon me for good..." (2:17, 18). It's not just us! Nehemiah admitted that he was in trouble, too! He describes being "in ruins" and how the gates were burned down to the ground. It must have seemed so hopeless, but just like Jacob commends his sons to stop looking at one another, Nehemiah also tries to inspire them, reminding them of God's good hand.
It must have been a pretty good pep talk because the people responded, "Let us rise up and build." And here again is another fantastic verse, "So they strengthened their hands for the good work." Clearly, what they were about to do was going to take supernatural strength and it would be grunt work, no doubt, but it was going to be "good work".
That is one of the things the missionary going to Zambia said on Sunday night. At the new university they are starting they would be teaching the Africans how to work, to not be afraid of work - it is what man was created to do. Building the wall would be a "good work". Nehemiah didn't want these people to be afraid to work either.
Here's what the enemy does though - he sends discouragement almost immediately. Three bad guys came along and as soon as they heard what was going on, "they jeered at us and despised us and said, 'What is this thing that you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king?'" Nehemiah doesn't lose it on them or panic. It seems to me he responds very matter-of-factly, "The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build, but you have no portion or right or claim to Jerusalem." Love it. That's what I told the kids we must say back against the discouragement that is sent from the pit of hell itself, "You have no portion or right or claim to me or to what God is doing in our life." What a great response to discouragement or any attacks Satan may send our way which he is quite relentless at doing! He clearly hates us, hates what our family is about, hates our attempts at killing debt. But we will "rise and build". We will keep doing all we can do.
I'm still not sure that God is going to prosper me how I want to be prospered, i.e., being debt-free in my lifetime, but that doesn't mean I won't be prosperous. I see myself being prosperous just by the very fact I'm able to be at home, I have my kids around me, I'm in a home, there is food in the fridge. I always have to remember the definition of prosper is more a state of mind and heart than of my bank account.
Every single day we are challenged it seems in some way. For Nehemiah, it was Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem. For me, it takes different forms or names. How Nehemiah ever came to be in the Bible is fascinating, but I'm so grateful this book is in there. I take such great encouragement from it. The Bible models a situation and how to handle it so clearly. Why do we struggle with what to do when a problem comes along? It's laid out in Scripture how to respond, what to say, what to do.....
Who will be my Sanballat, Tobiah or my Geshem today? The lesson I take from this portion of Scripture is clear: Satan has no portion, no right, no claim.
Why Do You Look At One Another?
Gotta put in a cute story about the 4 year old...
Sometimes my older kids will help me out by taking all the younger kids to the library for an hour. Then I can clean the house and prep for dinner. When they were at the library last week, my 4 year old was waiting to use the computer while another little boy was being told to get off by his mom so my guy could get on.
"C'mon, let's get off the computer now and give this little boy a turn," the mom said to her son.
"My name is Jonas," my daughter heard him say very matter-of-factly.
"Oh, ok, uh, let's make sure we get off quickly because Jonas is waiting. Do you go to school somewhere Jonas?"
"Yeah, kind of...my favourite subject is 'Explode the Code'," he explained.
"We have to go get our hair cut now so get off the computer," she kept trying to say to her son.
"I just got my hair cut today!" Jonas said to her.
"Were you brave? My son doesn't like to get his hair cut."
"Of course I was brave. My name is Jonas Valour." And it's true. He is very proud of his name. We tell him all the time that we named him that because we knew he was going to be a man of courage and bravery. The sweet thing is, every time he falls or trips or stubs his toe inside or out, he'll generally jump right up and say, "I'm fine! I'm Jonas Valour!"
Normally, I don't include all the kids names in the blog, but this time I just had to.
Last week before we received the cheque, my husband and I were sitting on the couch feeling a little discouraged. Often, that is when I share with him something I'm reading in the Bible and more often than not, I come across something that is just perfect. Sure enough, still in Genesis, I read to him the verse in Ch. 42 where the famine has come upon the land and it is now affecting Jacob and his family. I'm sure they were in dire straits and were all sitting on their "couches" feeling not only discouraged, but perhaps fear or panic. Jacob said something profound that I hadn't noticed before, "Why do you look at one another?" So true! Why do we sit on the couch talking to one another about our discouragement! Why not get up and go do something! Jacob went on to tell his sons just that, "Behold, I have heard that their is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that me may live and not die." That's it! Go and do something instead of navel-gazing!
We say that all the time now - "Why are we looking at each other! Let's go buy some grain! Let's go to Egypt!" Sometimes the way it works out is that we actually go and try and do something that will make money instead of sitting on a couch or he'll list something on ebay or even just go to his office instead of sitting with me where it can turn to us grumbling.
For me, I was given an opportunity to go to an event my sister hosted. At the time she asked us to go, I wasn't even sure I could afford the gas to get there, but by faith I said yes. Then we were asked if we could make the cake pops for the event (our first order!) Again, I had no money for groceries at the time, but I said, "Sure!" The event was a mother/daughter book club where we would go through a book together and try to establish solid godly relationships with our daughters as a result of directed conversation, study and prayer. She asked if my oldest daughter would take the younger ones aside and lead them in a discussion. Once again, "Sure!"
It might seem like a small thing, but this was my way of "going to Egypt to buy grain". It wasn't sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, though part of me thought perhaps I shouldn't go until I knew for sure we had the money. I went ahead anyway and I admit, I did borrow money from my son for ingredients! The cheque came in. There was gas to drive up. It ended up being a great night. The cake pops were a hit.
Each mom and daughter who came was touched I think in some way. It was a real challenge for all of us though as we were supposed to go through a series of questions with our daughters before we went. I was to ask them questions that evaluated me and then they would ask me questions that would evaluate them as daughters. Really hard questions. Was I known for my affection, encouragement or correction? Ouch. Almost all the moms knew that we over-correct our children. It was good to see what our children thought. Had I sinned against them? Please don't answer that honestly! It was good to talk through a few things that I knew I had done and then apologize to them. I found out a few things I didn't know they thought and vice versa. So, that exercise alone was worthwhile. It was great to hear the others moms openly admit their struggles.
There were 3 older moms there, including my mom, and that was so special. I loved hearing their insights. They all kept saying how wonderful it was to have a group like that where you could share and encourage one another to be the best moms we could be. When we stay in isolation, then all we do is slip into the pattern of guilt that says, "You are the worst mom in the world." The night went way too fast. No one wanted to leave. My sister was very gracious. Her husband and sons were also very gracious as they took off and left the women alone for a few hours. It was clear we all longed for community, a community of women who understood how we all felt as moms. There is nothing I love more than being with a group of like-minded women.
Sometimes my older kids will help me out by taking all the younger kids to the library for an hour. Then I can clean the house and prep for dinner. When they were at the library last week, my 4 year old was waiting to use the computer while another little boy was being told to get off by his mom so my guy could get on.
"C'mon, let's get off the computer now and give this little boy a turn," the mom said to her son.
"My name is Jonas," my daughter heard him say very matter-of-factly.
"Oh, ok, uh, let's make sure we get off quickly because Jonas is waiting. Do you go to school somewhere Jonas?"
"Yeah, kind of...my favourite subject is 'Explode the Code'," he explained.
"We have to go get our hair cut now so get off the computer," she kept trying to say to her son.
"I just got my hair cut today!" Jonas said to her.
"Were you brave? My son doesn't like to get his hair cut."
"Of course I was brave. My name is Jonas Valour." And it's true. He is very proud of his name. We tell him all the time that we named him that because we knew he was going to be a man of courage and bravery. The sweet thing is, every time he falls or trips or stubs his toe inside or out, he'll generally jump right up and say, "I'm fine! I'm Jonas Valour!"
Normally, I don't include all the kids names in the blog, but this time I just had to.
Last week before we received the cheque, my husband and I were sitting on the couch feeling a little discouraged. Often, that is when I share with him something I'm reading in the Bible and more often than not, I come across something that is just perfect. Sure enough, still in Genesis, I read to him the verse in Ch. 42 where the famine has come upon the land and it is now affecting Jacob and his family. I'm sure they were in dire straits and were all sitting on their "couches" feeling not only discouraged, but perhaps fear or panic. Jacob said something profound that I hadn't noticed before, "Why do you look at one another?" So true! Why do we sit on the couch talking to one another about our discouragement! Why not get up and go do something! Jacob went on to tell his sons just that, "Behold, I have heard that their is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that me may live and not die." That's it! Go and do something instead of navel-gazing!
We say that all the time now - "Why are we looking at each other! Let's go buy some grain! Let's go to Egypt!" Sometimes the way it works out is that we actually go and try and do something that will make money instead of sitting on a couch or he'll list something on ebay or even just go to his office instead of sitting with me where it can turn to us grumbling.
For me, I was given an opportunity to go to an event my sister hosted. At the time she asked us to go, I wasn't even sure I could afford the gas to get there, but by faith I said yes. Then we were asked if we could make the cake pops for the event (our first order!) Again, I had no money for groceries at the time, but I said, "Sure!" The event was a mother/daughter book club where we would go through a book together and try to establish solid godly relationships with our daughters as a result of directed conversation, study and prayer. She asked if my oldest daughter would take the younger ones aside and lead them in a discussion. Once again, "Sure!"
It might seem like a small thing, but this was my way of "going to Egypt to buy grain". It wasn't sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, though part of me thought perhaps I shouldn't go until I knew for sure we had the money. I went ahead anyway and I admit, I did borrow money from my son for ingredients! The cheque came in. There was gas to drive up. It ended up being a great night. The cake pops were a hit.
Each mom and daughter who came was touched I think in some way. It was a real challenge for all of us though as we were supposed to go through a series of questions with our daughters before we went. I was to ask them questions that evaluated me and then they would ask me questions that would evaluate them as daughters. Really hard questions. Was I known for my affection, encouragement or correction? Ouch. Almost all the moms knew that we over-correct our children. It was good to see what our children thought. Had I sinned against them? Please don't answer that honestly! It was good to talk through a few things that I knew I had done and then apologize to them. I found out a few things I didn't know they thought and vice versa. So, that exercise alone was worthwhile. It was great to hear the others moms openly admit their struggles.
There were 3 older moms there, including my mom, and that was so special. I loved hearing their insights. They all kept saying how wonderful it was to have a group like that where you could share and encourage one another to be the best moms we could be. When we stay in isolation, then all we do is slip into the pattern of guilt that says, "You are the worst mom in the world." The night went way too fast. No one wanted to leave. My sister was very gracious. Her husband and sons were also very gracious as they took off and left the women alone for a few hours. It was clear we all longed for community, a community of women who understood how we all felt as moms. There is nothing I love more than being with a group of like-minded women.
Friday, 6 March 2015
We Can Breathe Again!
You don't know how emotional you are or what toll not receiving that cheque can be until you find yourself driving in a car with your sister and your mom, enjoying a lovely time together celebrating a birthday, and you receive a text from your husband telling you "the cheque came". Suddenly there I was, crying in the back of my sister's SUV, for no apparent reason. The only thing I could explain was, "We really needed that cheque!" I guess as much faith as I was trying to exercise, it was still hard not knowing how we would make it from day to day. We didn't know how long this would go on. We had one last hay delivery and after that it we would have had to start eating snow (which is very good by the way if you add some maple syrup to it! We did that last week, but I digress.....)
As I drove home, all I could do was thank God for His perfect timing - perfect timing despite the fact we were down to the wire like that? Yes. It's like I wrote yesterday, because of our need, I've been literally praying without ceasing. But don't get me wrong, not in a panic. I've actually been trying to be thankful through the whole ordeal. I know there are so many people who are worse off than me. I have soooo much to be grateful for. It's embarrassing to start complaining about money, to be honest, when I see what I have. I was listening on the radio to how people are now living in "micro-condominiums" in the major cities, how young families live in these urban centers with no grass, no bugs, no space! I looked around myself mentally in that moment and remembered I live on a farm. My kids are free to run around, so far that I actually lose sight of them!
Still, it was a long process and I was carrying some of the load that my husband carried. Had the cheque come when I was with my husband, we wouldn't have sat there and cried, but there is something about being with a sister and a mom that always, without fail, brings out emotions that were deep down inside, without me even knowing it. Oh well, I think they understood.
Today is a new day. We can pay the people we owe. We can buy groceries. We can buy gas. Another friend who knew only a little bit about our situation said to me, "Your kids will never take anything for granted." And I hope that is true. I hope they are learning they can learn to go without. I hope they are learning we have more than we think. I hope they are learning that God is good and answers prayers as we prayed again so specifically yesterday for their Dad as he was feeling such discouragement.
One small prayer we prayed yesterday (again, is there such thing as a small prayer?) was that a certain ebay transaction that had gone sour would be resolved or we would be out $150. Not a big deal, but to us, $150 is a big deal. The buyer had cancelled the transaction on us and wouldn't tell ebay, making us end up paying all the fees. It was super frustrating. We prayed that the Lord would help us and that somehow we could clear the fees. Early this morning we got an email from ebay saying all was good and that they would return our money. Yeah! No small thing.
I've written it before - He is God of the 11th hour.
Today I woke up and, as I have for the last few mornings, I went immediately into the mudroom looking for our very pregnant cat. Couldn't find her. I went into the basement, no sign of her there either. I got the boys to look upstairs and they found her wandering the hall looking for her midwife! She was in the middle of delivering her first kitten! We ran and got her box and 2 hours later she has delivered 3 so far, though I am sure there are more to come.....the kids got to see the delivery of all the kittens - a sweet little blessing. So our house is full of life. It sure has its ups and downs sometimes, but we can see a pattern of God in it all.
As I drove home, all I could do was thank God for His perfect timing - perfect timing despite the fact we were down to the wire like that? Yes. It's like I wrote yesterday, because of our need, I've been literally praying without ceasing. But don't get me wrong, not in a panic. I've actually been trying to be thankful through the whole ordeal. I know there are so many people who are worse off than me. I have soooo much to be grateful for. It's embarrassing to start complaining about money, to be honest, when I see what I have. I was listening on the radio to how people are now living in "micro-condominiums" in the major cities, how young families live in these urban centers with no grass, no bugs, no space! I looked around myself mentally in that moment and remembered I live on a farm. My kids are free to run around, so far that I actually lose sight of them!
Still, it was a long process and I was carrying some of the load that my husband carried. Had the cheque come when I was with my husband, we wouldn't have sat there and cried, but there is something about being with a sister and a mom that always, without fail, brings out emotions that were deep down inside, without me even knowing it. Oh well, I think they understood.
Today is a new day. We can pay the people we owe. We can buy groceries. We can buy gas. Another friend who knew only a little bit about our situation said to me, "Your kids will never take anything for granted." And I hope that is true. I hope they are learning they can learn to go without. I hope they are learning we have more than we think. I hope they are learning that God is good and answers prayers as we prayed again so specifically yesterday for their Dad as he was feeling such discouragement.
One small prayer we prayed yesterday (again, is there such thing as a small prayer?) was that a certain ebay transaction that had gone sour would be resolved or we would be out $150. Not a big deal, but to us, $150 is a big deal. The buyer had cancelled the transaction on us and wouldn't tell ebay, making us end up paying all the fees. It was super frustrating. We prayed that the Lord would help us and that somehow we could clear the fees. Early this morning we got an email from ebay saying all was good and that they would return our money. Yeah! No small thing.
I've written it before - He is God of the 11th hour.
Today I woke up and, as I have for the last few mornings, I went immediately into the mudroom looking for our very pregnant cat. Couldn't find her. I went into the basement, no sign of her there either. I got the boys to look upstairs and they found her wandering the hall looking for her midwife! She was in the middle of delivering her first kitten! We ran and got her box and 2 hours later she has delivered 3 so far, though I am sure there are more to come.....the kids got to see the delivery of all the kittens - a sweet little blessing. So our house is full of life. It sure has its ups and downs sometimes, but we can see a pattern of God in it all.
Thursday, 5 March 2015
Small Appliances, Praying Without Ceasing, and No TV
I'm really trying to count my blessings these days. The me ntal attacks come fast and furious trying to derail me with either worry or the discontentment. My dad shared a verse with us last week from Isaiah that spoke of how God knows our needs and is answering our prayers even before we ask. It was such an encouragement to me and almost to confirm this fact, we had two really neat things happen in the last little while that prove it!
First, having been married for twenty years, you notice that things start to deteriorate after awhile - as in all our small appliances. They are biting the dust one by one. We take good care of them, but that is a lot of use with a ten person family. It doesn't occur to me to even buy one unless it were at the thrift store, but lately, even thrift store dollars count. Our blender has been leaking and cracked for a loooong time. My children make smoothies almost every day. I would just clean up the spills after they used it and just figured that was part of the way I could avoid buying another one. Then, recently a friend came over and said, "Do you need a blender?" "Uh, yeah, how did you know?" "I didn't. I just don't need our's as I bought another one." "Sure!" Into our house walked a brand new blender - a really good one, too. So great!
Then, my mom said she had something to give me that a friend had given her as she never used it I guess. I wondered what it could be. I didn't need a blender! Turns out it was a virtually brand new food processor with all the bells and whistles. Same thing. I had one and used it quite a bit, but it was in baaaad shape. Now I have a new food processor and a new blender and I never even prayed about it or asked for one. God just knew and it was turned into a blessing for me.
These are the things I must remember, I must focus on. It's easy for me to notice what I don't have. Our faucet handle broke off in our kitchen sink - again, a lot of use! But it still works! My computer died, but my husband is very cautiously letting me use his. I better not break this one! Yesterday, we were supposed to get $500 in hay money but only $100 came in, but at least that much came in! And, supposedly the cheque was mailed. We have yet to see it, but we're praying it'll be in the mail today!
So clearly, we still have lots to be thankful for. It would be interesting to turn that idea on its head and write a blog as if I were a non-Christian atheist/cynic. I suppose all I would write about was all the junk going on that could potentially lead us to a pit of despair, but I suppose a cynic would love being in that pit. Then, I suppose I would have to focus on not letting positive thoughts come into my head - what a weird concept! I think searching for all the blessings is a much better place to be! One friend heard a few of the things we were going through and said, "How do you do it?! How are you coping?!" I simply told her I pray without ceasing. Is that why God is allowing this to happen? Living from day to day completely relying on Him? I think it is as simple as that.
On another positive note, one of the things that has come out of praying during this time of Lent and fasting is how God seems to put a heaviness on my mind for certain things and so I'll wake up compelled to write an email to someone or call someone on behalf of my children and the plans they are making. This week I really felt I needed to follow through on my son's interest in becoming a vet. I emailed a friend who is a vet in the homeschool group and told her I just wanted to follow up on a conversation we had had about potentially working in the clinic where she worked or wherever she would suggest. She immediately emailed me back and said the clinic was looking for a co-op student! My son just needed to whip up a resume and a cover letter and get it in fast! How exciting! My husband graciously took some time out of his day to help him to do this and in a very short time, a resume was sent off with a great letter explaining why he would make a great co-op student. I felt it was a neat prompting from the Lord to follow through on that and the timing may have been just perfect. Now I am praying that God will open a door for him in this clinic if he is really meant to become a vet one day.
Meanwhile, having been inspired by the Maxwells to pursue all sorts of different sources of income, my daughter will be running a Spring Break sewing camp. It's a great way for her to make a little extra money and use her skills all the while blessing others with learning the art of sewing. I hope she gets lots of girls coming out. My next daughter is busy with the beginnings of a little "cake pop" business, inspired by her older cousin. She has two orders coming which she is so excited about! How can all this be related to Lent? I just feel that as I pray for one thing, I then find myself praying for another thing or another child or another situation and my children definitely fall into those categories. I'm finding that I'm praying very hard (can you pray hard?) for their future, for their career direction, for opportunities that can only come about by God and I'm seeing Him answer those prayers even when I haven't worded it quite like that. It is literally unfolding one day at a time.
I finally put the TV where my kids couldn't see it. They had kept turning it on or plugging it in when I had unplugged it. That was not the plan. The first day when it was actually gone, my 4 year old asked if he could put on a show several times, but then my day 2, nothing, no more asking. That same day and then next and the next, the younger 4 kids kept busy for HOURS in the toy room, just playing contentedly together - well, ok let's be honest, one got punched, another pinched and there were some tears, but for the most part, they played well all day! I was amazed. I just needed to have it so they couldn't see it. It wasn't enough for me to unplug it. It had to be gone. I didn't intend for that to be a fast, per se, but who's to say it can't be? Sorry kids.
Off I go - the four year old is stumbling down the stairs.....
First, having been married for twenty years, you notice that things start to deteriorate after awhile - as in all our small appliances. They are biting the dust one by one. We take good care of them, but that is a lot of use with a ten person family. It doesn't occur to me to even buy one unless it were at the thrift store, but lately, even thrift store dollars count. Our blender has been leaking and cracked for a loooong time. My children make smoothies almost every day. I would just clean up the spills after they used it and just figured that was part of the way I could avoid buying another one. Then, recently a friend came over and said, "Do you need a blender?" "Uh, yeah, how did you know?" "I didn't. I just don't need our's as I bought another one." "Sure!" Into our house walked a brand new blender - a really good one, too. So great!
Then, my mom said she had something to give me that a friend had given her as she never used it I guess. I wondered what it could be. I didn't need a blender! Turns out it was a virtually brand new food processor with all the bells and whistles. Same thing. I had one and used it quite a bit, but it was in baaaad shape. Now I have a new food processor and a new blender and I never even prayed about it or asked for one. God just knew and it was turned into a blessing for me.
These are the things I must remember, I must focus on. It's easy for me to notice what I don't have. Our faucet handle broke off in our kitchen sink - again, a lot of use! But it still works! My computer died, but my husband is very cautiously letting me use his. I better not break this one! Yesterday, we were supposed to get $500 in hay money but only $100 came in, but at least that much came in! And, supposedly the cheque was mailed. We have yet to see it, but we're praying it'll be in the mail today!
So clearly, we still have lots to be thankful for. It would be interesting to turn that idea on its head and write a blog as if I were a non-Christian atheist/cynic. I suppose all I would write about was all the junk going on that could potentially lead us to a pit of despair, but I suppose a cynic would love being in that pit. Then, I suppose I would have to focus on not letting positive thoughts come into my head - what a weird concept! I think searching for all the blessings is a much better place to be! One friend heard a few of the things we were going through and said, "How do you do it?! How are you coping?!" I simply told her I pray without ceasing. Is that why God is allowing this to happen? Living from day to day completely relying on Him? I think it is as simple as that.
On another positive note, one of the things that has come out of praying during this time of Lent and fasting is how God seems to put a heaviness on my mind for certain things and so I'll wake up compelled to write an email to someone or call someone on behalf of my children and the plans they are making. This week I really felt I needed to follow through on my son's interest in becoming a vet. I emailed a friend who is a vet in the homeschool group and told her I just wanted to follow up on a conversation we had had about potentially working in the clinic where she worked or wherever she would suggest. She immediately emailed me back and said the clinic was looking for a co-op student! My son just needed to whip up a resume and a cover letter and get it in fast! How exciting! My husband graciously took some time out of his day to help him to do this and in a very short time, a resume was sent off with a great letter explaining why he would make a great co-op student. I felt it was a neat prompting from the Lord to follow through on that and the timing may have been just perfect. Now I am praying that God will open a door for him in this clinic if he is really meant to become a vet one day.
Meanwhile, having been inspired by the Maxwells to pursue all sorts of different sources of income, my daughter will be running a Spring Break sewing camp. It's a great way for her to make a little extra money and use her skills all the while blessing others with learning the art of sewing. I hope she gets lots of girls coming out. My next daughter is busy with the beginnings of a little "cake pop" business, inspired by her older cousin. She has two orders coming which she is so excited about! How can all this be related to Lent? I just feel that as I pray for one thing, I then find myself praying for another thing or another child or another situation and my children definitely fall into those categories. I'm finding that I'm praying very hard (can you pray hard?) for their future, for their career direction, for opportunities that can only come about by God and I'm seeing Him answer those prayers even when I haven't worded it quite like that. It is literally unfolding one day at a time.
I finally put the TV where my kids couldn't see it. They had kept turning it on or plugging it in when I had unplugged it. That was not the plan. The first day when it was actually gone, my 4 year old asked if he could put on a show several times, but then my day 2, nothing, no more asking. That same day and then next and the next, the younger 4 kids kept busy for HOURS in the toy room, just playing contentedly together - well, ok let's be honest, one got punched, another pinched and there were some tears, but for the most part, they played well all day! I was amazed. I just needed to have it so they couldn't see it. It wasn't enough for me to unplug it. It had to be gone. I didn't intend for that to be a fast, per se, but who's to say it can't be? Sorry kids.
Off I go - the four year old is stumbling down the stairs.....
Tuesday, 3 March 2015
Math Demons, Prayer Boxes, Laundry War and New Names
If there is such thing as a math demon, it visited our house yesterday. I always go on and on about how great homeschooling is (and it is), but yesterday was hard. If a new homeschooler would have been here, they might have thought twice about homeschooling. My only solace came in the afternoon - each child who had suffered with math in the morning all came through on the other end. They had made it! They all conquered the area they had struggled in, somehow, some way. Perhaps if the newbie homeschooler had stuck around, they would have seen the struggle, but then how rewarding it was to power through it, pray as if my life depended on it, and then see a breakthrough in the end. Still, I'm hoping today will be better!
Another thing I'm noticing, having blogged for over a year and almost a half now, is that there are similar patterns in the times and places I read in the Bible. When I was reading in Genesis last year, all the stories about Joseph being stuck in slavery really jumped out at me, especially as he prospered while in slavery and how God blessed him despite his circumstances. Back over a year ago, I found that to be such an encouragement and it was interesting to see that yes, though I'd really like to be out of slavery, we are still experiencing such blessing that I know if nothing changes I will be ok. Verses like this, "...and he was there in prison. But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor....." (Gen. 39:20b, 21a) I am a testimony to feeling like I am in prison, but I'm just as much a testimony to experiencing His steadfast love and the sense that He is with me. Lesson 9: God is with me in my prison, whatever place that may be.
So, I went ahead and did the seminar on the weekend to just a few moms. Am I allowed to enjoy doing this as much as I do? I could stand in front of people and talk all day! It is one of my favourite things to do! The books came in on time, they were paid for, people bought them....hopefully they'll be inspired to put the chore system in order! The money that we made that day went right to the mortgage, so it was a real blessing to have had the seminar. That, along with the hay money we made on the weekend got us through a real tight spot. Hopefully we'll see some resolve with the other money that is supposed to be coming in. Give us this day, our DAILY bread.
I officially got the prayer box thing going yesterday. It had been informal up until yesterday. I had just been telling the kids who to pray for on what day, but yesterday we actually had a prayer box full of names my daughter had printed out and cut up. Yesterday was immediate family, but I took it a step further and included cousins, aunts, uncles, even great-aunts, great-uncles, and, of course, grandparents. Oh my goodness, we didn't even get to all of them and some names my kids or my husband didn't even know! What was shocking to me was that I had something to say, or my husband had something to say about each uncle, aunt or cousin, so we could tell the kids a very specific thing to pray about. It surprised even me! It ended up being one of our longest prayer times, but for the first time in awhile, it wasn't about us! It was really beautiful listening to my children pray for cousins they had never met or great-aunts or uncles that they knew were suffering in some way. We prayed for everything we could think of - health, finances, salvation. It was amazing! I can't wait to do it again tonight, but this time, it'll be a different prayer box. We'll be praying for friends. Once again, a lot of these people have been in my address book for years and I write to them each Christmas, but my kids don't know them. I thought it would be a good idea to pray for them even if they don't know who they are. I think there is a lesson even in that - lesson 10: It is good to get my eyes off myself!
After we prayed, I knew I had paperwork to do (go through receipts, etc.), but I also knew I had better go do a load or two of laundry, folding, etc. My younger 5 were all busy playing and I didn't want to disturb them, but the closer I got to the laundry room and saw the pile that was awaiting me, I thought, "No! They have to help!" But then, I thought, "I don't want to interrupt them! They're all having so much fun!" This was one of the very things I spoke about on Saturday. We get cowardly as moms because we don't want our kids to do work. We don't want them to be mad at us for making them do chores, so we do it all ourselves and the burnout starts.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I walked into the family room as if I were a General and I asked the kids to stand at attention. My little 4 year old jumped up and ran over right away. Then I said, in as stern and general-like voice, "We have a job to do, soldier. Follow me. We are going to go into enemy territory. March behind me and I'll give instructions when we get there!" Immediately he followed me so excited. We got to the laundry room and I said, "About face, soldier!" "Ok, ok!" He didn't know what anything I said meant, but he was trying to get into the game. By this point I had a few other soldiers in the room. I explained to them, "We must deliver these bombs to the right places without getting caught by toddler spies, they're everywhere!" "Ok! This is going to be sooooo much fun!" They could barely contain themselves. I was starting to get into it, too! They started running all over the house, delivering "bombs" to the bathroom (towels) or real scary bombs (underwear) to the drawer (they had to wear special protection to deliver those ones). It was so much fun! They usually hate taking stuff upstairs, but this time I said, "Ok, soldiers, now it is time for a special mission. You'll have to climb mountains to take this to its proper spot. Be careful! There are enemies and landmines everywhere!" "Let me take it up the mountain!" They started fighting over laundry as they all wanted the mountain climbing mission. The little toddler spy was somehow into it, too, and even Daddy "attacked" them on one of their missions. My 8 year old actually said to me, "Stop it, Mom. I'm 8. I'm too old for this." "Ok," I said, "Here, go put this on the shelf, " in my most boring mommy voice possible. That didn't go over well. The next thing you know, it was like a switch went on, I heard him say only minutes later, "Ok, guys, let's go on a dangerous mission!" He was totally into it all of a sudden! I guess he figured out he wasn't too old to play the game after all. So funny. Everybody won that night - my work got done, the kids had fun. Just another answer to prayer for a mom drowning in laundry! I'm sure they'll ask me to do that again today! Lesson 11: Work can be fun!
Now, I'm going to try to re-establish a schedule that might work a little better than the one I've been using. The Maxwells have a Managers of Your Homes book, too, all about schedules. I've created and attempted to implement a schedule every year. Some years are better than others. I really want to potentially create a seminar about this book, too, as I think so many families could benefit from having more order in their lives, but I've put off writing this seminar as I wanted to make sure I was actually "living" it first! Today will be the first day of really trying to make it work. It might be March, but better late than never.
Back to Joseph for last word. He had two children while he was in slavery. He gave them great names. Manasseh, which meant "God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father's house" and Ephraim, "For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction". Those two names represent how I feel most days, "God has made me forget all my hardship and has made me fruitful even in the land of my affliction." I'm not saying I'm having more babies, but those would be two of my new top names for boys!
Another thing I'm noticing, having blogged for over a year and almost a half now, is that there are similar patterns in the times and places I read in the Bible. When I was reading in Genesis last year, all the stories about Joseph being stuck in slavery really jumped out at me, especially as he prospered while in slavery and how God blessed him despite his circumstances. Back over a year ago, I found that to be such an encouragement and it was interesting to see that yes, though I'd really like to be out of slavery, we are still experiencing such blessing that I know if nothing changes I will be ok. Verses like this, "...and he was there in prison. But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor....." (Gen. 39:20b, 21a) I am a testimony to feeling like I am in prison, but I'm just as much a testimony to experiencing His steadfast love and the sense that He is with me. Lesson 9: God is with me in my prison, whatever place that may be.
So, I went ahead and did the seminar on the weekend to just a few moms. Am I allowed to enjoy doing this as much as I do? I could stand in front of people and talk all day! It is one of my favourite things to do! The books came in on time, they were paid for, people bought them....hopefully they'll be inspired to put the chore system in order! The money that we made that day went right to the mortgage, so it was a real blessing to have had the seminar. That, along with the hay money we made on the weekend got us through a real tight spot. Hopefully we'll see some resolve with the other money that is supposed to be coming in. Give us this day, our DAILY bread.
I officially got the prayer box thing going yesterday. It had been informal up until yesterday. I had just been telling the kids who to pray for on what day, but yesterday we actually had a prayer box full of names my daughter had printed out and cut up. Yesterday was immediate family, but I took it a step further and included cousins, aunts, uncles, even great-aunts, great-uncles, and, of course, grandparents. Oh my goodness, we didn't even get to all of them and some names my kids or my husband didn't even know! What was shocking to me was that I had something to say, or my husband had something to say about each uncle, aunt or cousin, so we could tell the kids a very specific thing to pray about. It surprised even me! It ended up being one of our longest prayer times, but for the first time in awhile, it wasn't about us! It was really beautiful listening to my children pray for cousins they had never met or great-aunts or uncles that they knew were suffering in some way. We prayed for everything we could think of - health, finances, salvation. It was amazing! I can't wait to do it again tonight, but this time, it'll be a different prayer box. We'll be praying for friends. Once again, a lot of these people have been in my address book for years and I write to them each Christmas, but my kids don't know them. I thought it would be a good idea to pray for them even if they don't know who they are. I think there is a lesson even in that - lesson 10: It is good to get my eyes off myself!
After we prayed, I knew I had paperwork to do (go through receipts, etc.), but I also knew I had better go do a load or two of laundry, folding, etc. My younger 5 were all busy playing and I didn't want to disturb them, but the closer I got to the laundry room and saw the pile that was awaiting me, I thought, "No! They have to help!" But then, I thought, "I don't want to interrupt them! They're all having so much fun!" This was one of the very things I spoke about on Saturday. We get cowardly as moms because we don't want our kids to do work. We don't want them to be mad at us for making them do chores, so we do it all ourselves and the burnout starts.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I walked into the family room as if I were a General and I asked the kids to stand at attention. My little 4 year old jumped up and ran over right away. Then I said, in as stern and general-like voice, "We have a job to do, soldier. Follow me. We are going to go into enemy territory. March behind me and I'll give instructions when we get there!" Immediately he followed me so excited. We got to the laundry room and I said, "About face, soldier!" "Ok, ok!" He didn't know what anything I said meant, but he was trying to get into the game. By this point I had a few other soldiers in the room. I explained to them, "We must deliver these bombs to the right places without getting caught by toddler spies, they're everywhere!" "Ok! This is going to be sooooo much fun!" They could barely contain themselves. I was starting to get into it, too! They started running all over the house, delivering "bombs" to the bathroom (towels) or real scary bombs (underwear) to the drawer (they had to wear special protection to deliver those ones). It was so much fun! They usually hate taking stuff upstairs, but this time I said, "Ok, soldiers, now it is time for a special mission. You'll have to climb mountains to take this to its proper spot. Be careful! There are enemies and landmines everywhere!" "Let me take it up the mountain!" They started fighting over laundry as they all wanted the mountain climbing mission. The little toddler spy was somehow into it, too, and even Daddy "attacked" them on one of their missions. My 8 year old actually said to me, "Stop it, Mom. I'm 8. I'm too old for this." "Ok," I said, "Here, go put this on the shelf, " in my most boring mommy voice possible. That didn't go over well. The next thing you know, it was like a switch went on, I heard him say only minutes later, "Ok, guys, let's go on a dangerous mission!" He was totally into it all of a sudden! I guess he figured out he wasn't too old to play the game after all. So funny. Everybody won that night - my work got done, the kids had fun. Just another answer to prayer for a mom drowning in laundry! I'm sure they'll ask me to do that again today! Lesson 11: Work can be fun!
Now, I'm going to try to re-establish a schedule that might work a little better than the one I've been using. The Maxwells have a Managers of Your Homes book, too, all about schedules. I've created and attempted to implement a schedule every year. Some years are better than others. I really want to potentially create a seminar about this book, too, as I think so many families could benefit from having more order in their lives, but I've put off writing this seminar as I wanted to make sure I was actually "living" it first! Today will be the first day of really trying to make it work. It might be March, but better late than never.
Back to Joseph for last word. He had two children while he was in slavery. He gave them great names. Manasseh, which meant "God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father's house" and Ephraim, "For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction". Those two names represent how I feel most days, "God has made me forget all my hardship and has made me fruitful even in the land of my affliction." I'm not saying I'm having more babies, but those would be two of my new top names for boys!
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