We Can Breathe Again!

You don't know how emotional you are or what toll not receiving that cheque can be until you find yourself driving in a car with your sister and your mom, enjoying a lovely time together celebrating a birthday, and you receive a text from your husband telling you "the cheque came".  Suddenly there I was, crying in the back of my sister's SUV, for no apparent reason.  The only thing I could explain was, "We really needed that cheque!"  I guess as much faith as I was trying to exercise, it was still hard not knowing how we would make it from day to day.  We didn't know how long this would go on.  We had one last hay delivery and after that it we would have had to start eating snow (which is very good by the way if you add some maple syrup to it!  We did that last week, but I digress.....)

As I drove home, all I could do was thank God for His perfect timing - perfect timing despite the fact we were down to the wire like that?  Yes.  It's like I wrote yesterday, because of our need, I've been literally praying without ceasing.  But don't get me wrong, not in a panic.  I've actually been trying to be thankful through the whole ordeal.  I know there are so many people who are worse off than me.  I have soooo much to be grateful for.  It's embarrassing to start complaining about money, to be honest, when I see what I have.  I was listening on the radio to how people are now living in "micro-condominiums" in the major cities, how young families live in these urban centers with no grass, no bugs, no space!  I looked around myself mentally in that moment and remembered I live on a farm.  My kids are free to run around, so far that I actually lose sight of them!

Still, it was a long process and I was carrying some of the load that my husband carried.  Had the cheque come when I was with my husband, we wouldn't have sat there and cried, but there is something about being with a sister and a mom that always, without fail, brings out emotions that were deep down inside, without me even knowing it.  Oh well, I think they understood.

Today is a new day.  We can pay the people we owe.  We can buy groceries.  We can buy gas.  Another friend who knew only a little bit about our situation said to me, "Your kids will never take anything for granted."  And I hope that is true.  I hope they are learning they can learn to go without.  I hope they are learning we have more than we think.  I hope they are learning that God is good and answers prayers as we prayed again so specifically yesterday for their Dad as he was feeling such discouragement. 

One small prayer we prayed yesterday (again, is there such thing as a small prayer?) was that a certain ebay transaction that had gone sour would be resolved or we would be out $150.  Not a big deal, but to us, $150 is a big deal.  The buyer had cancelled the transaction on us and wouldn't tell ebay, making us end up paying all the fees.  It was super frustrating.  We prayed that the Lord would help us and that somehow we could clear the fees.  Early this morning we got an email from ebay saying all was good and that they would return our money.  Yeah!  No small thing.

I've written it before - He is God of the 11th hour.

Today I woke up and, as I have for the last few mornings, I went immediately into the mudroom looking for our very pregnant cat.  Couldn't find her.  I went into the basement, no sign of her there either.  I got the boys to look upstairs and they found her wandering the hall looking for her midwife!  She was in the middle of delivering her first kitten!  We ran and got her box and 2 hours later she has delivered 3 so far, though I am sure there are more to come.....the kids got to see the delivery of all the kittens - a sweet little blessing.  So our house is full of life.  It sure has its ups and downs sometimes, but we can see a pattern of God in it all.