Planks of Thanks

How many emotional events can one person handle in a day?????  Yesterday our good friends left for potentially forever.  In a last attempt to put off saying goodbye, we delayed and delayed the final words until they were all actually in their vehicles, out of their house, on the actual route to the west.  So yesterday morning, after they had packed all their gear in their trailer, they were going to come by our house for the official final goodbye.  I wasn't prepared for it.

I knew they would come up the same way they always had where I could see them from my kitchen window, so no need for emotion, but this time, when they drove up the road, there was a trailer on their van.  It was a new image that I hadn't seen before - the trailer.  It signified so many things - they were really leaving, never coming back.  This wasn't a quick coffee visit or another time to play cricket with them, this was a visit to say good bye.  Of course, the emotions took over and I was feeling all welled up inside.

Almost as soon as my friend got out of the van, she was crying, too.  I couldn't stand it.  But what I loved about the whole bumbling mess of tears was that we quickly came inside to get out of the wind and I still was able to get her over to my mixing bowl where I asked her why my bread wasn't turning out!  I think that has been one of the neatest things in our friendship!  She has taught me so much about the workings of the kitchen and the wonders of doing more from scratch than I ever thought possible.  She's put me on to challenging the status quo of regular eating and pushed me to really do things I've never done or even considered doing!  Because of her, I've learned to make my own bread, mill my own flour, pickle things I didn't know I could, make sausages, soak grains, make cream cheese.... the list goes on and on.  She's always doing research and then shares what she's learned with me.  The best part is, her mother-in-law has caught on to all this healthy cooking and is planning on coming over to visit me and teach me even more as she is going to need a grandkid fix now that they're leaving town (which I can provide!) so I'll still get a tutor!  So all that to say, there we were with tear-stained faces and she said, "I'll email you tonight to see if your bread worked out!"  Such a great friend through all these years. 

They pulled away and I just couldn't believe they were gone.  I found out later all of our children had exchanged little gifts without me even knowing it, that made me tear up again.  Each one had given something so significant, like a coin my son had been wanting for ages.  Another child gave my son his famous Rubik's cube, with the instructions on how to use it, so sweet, a real treasure for that boy. 

I was a little shaky the rest of the morning.  If somebody mentioned something about our friends, I would find myself near tears again. 

Meanwhile, all week we had been waiting for the mystery cheque.  We had been told it was sent, but it wasn't showing up.  The day before my husband used the classic words, "If it doesn't come tomorrow, I don't know what we'll do."  I've heard those words before and it always strikes fear in me, so I really had to fight it.  If the devil knows I'm weak I can hit it with attacks all day and literally all night.  I'll wake up and start thinking about our finances and it will just make me feel sick so that I can't get back to sleep.

This time, as the attacks came, I was a little more prepared.  We had been doing family worship more regularly than ever, in the morning and in the evening and then again during school, so we were constantly reading the Bible together or praying.  It was a time of tremendous faith being grown when I look back.  I also have my trusty Ann Voskamp calendar near by me everyday and she was like a friend living with me all week knowing what was going on.  She wrote, "Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks.  Remembering frames up gratitude.  Gratitude lays out the planks of trust.  If I can thank God for the good of the past, I can trust Him for the good of the future, no matter what lies down that road.  I can walk the planks - from known to unknown - and know:  He holds.  I could walk unafraid."  That was it - I needed to walk unafraid, too, so I had to make a decision.  Would I trust?

One time I remember being at the washer and dryer, folding clothes and the fear started to enter my thoughts.  I consciously took the thought and decided, "I will not be afraid.  There is nothing to fear.  I am trusting you, Lord."  The fear left. 

Each day the mail truck came this week, we ran to the mailbox, but nothing.  Then my husband made that statement about not knowing what to do, so when the mail truck came yesterday, I was super excited to see if it had come.  My daughter ran out and brought in a hand full of mail.  "Give it to me!"  I said with a scary mom voice.  Ahhhhh, the right coloured envelope was in the pile!  I made sure by ripping it open and then just leaned back and said, "Thank you, Lord.  Run, go give this to Dad."

"Thank you, Jesus," were his words when he found out.  "I know what I'll be doing today......". That always means he'll be paying all the angry suppliers.  What a blessing to be able to pay the people you owe!  In the "olden" days, we would have gone out for dinner to celebrate when a cheque had come in.  Lately we hadn't done that as we were trying to be more careful, but yesterday, in the name of relief and perhaps just as a blessing to the family, RM said, "Do you have dinner plans?"  So at 4 pm, we all jumped in the van, mailed some cheques to the suppliers, went to a quick eye appointment for my daughter and then went to sit down and celebrate God's goodness at a restaurant.

It was a lovely time.  Everyone was thoroughly enjoying the surprise dinner outing.  We had a great waitress, good food.  RM and I had been talking throughout the whole dinner about how both of us had really decided to not be afraid.  He is very prone to fear, too, but knows he needs to stretch his faith, so he told me how he knew that God knew if we needed that money.  He reminded me of the George Mueller story we had read years ago about being completely out of food, yet he had the children in his orphanage set the table, sit down to it and give thanks as they waited literally for God to supply their needs.  Sure enough, just at that point, a bread truck broke down outside the orphanage and food was supplied in the 11th hour.  RM told me, "A bread truck will break down in front of our house if God wants it to." We had no idea a bread truck was about to break down right then and there.

Just then, the waitress came up to me and leaned down, "I just wanted to let you know, your bill has been taken care of...... you have a lovely family."  "What?"  I couldn't comprehend what was going on.  Did I just hear her correctly?  This was no little coffee bill, it was a bill for 10 people, 6 of whom had eaten adult meals, not little kids meals.  My husband saw the look on my face, "What's going on?"  I think he must have thought there was a problem.  I told him what she said, "Someone has paid for our bill!"  Disbelief from him, too.  For the second time today, tears were in my eyes (seriously, I was already unstable!).  "Who?  Are we allowed to know?"  "No, they didn't want you to know.  But they wanted you to know you have a lovely family."  Were we being watched that closely?  What did they see?  We had prayed together, was that it?  What was it?????  We were stunned.  My thoughts were swirling around in my brain.  The goodness of God - we were living it yet again.  In one day we'd seen His provision of friendship and then the provision of finances and then the provision of a miracle, just because.  Our children were just as stunned.  I can only think that God gave us that miracle for our children, as a tangible reminder of how "planks of thanks" are what we must walk on.  That is how God works.  We thanked Him for His provision in the restaurant and the miracle was imminent, as Voskamp has written.  We are living proof of the amazing ways God works. 

As we walked out of the restaurant, I looked at the waitress who just couldn't stop smiling at me.  She patted me on the arm because she could see I was still on the verge of tears and said, "Have a lovely evening."  I wanted to sit her down and say, "Do you realize the significance of this?!  Do you know what this means to us?!  Do you have any idea?!"  I wanted to tell her our whole story.  It occurred to me later, I wondered if she paid for it!  I have no idea who our angel was, but we sure had a meaningful family worship when we got home, praying for whoever it was to be blessed.  We thanked God, each one of us right down to the littlest boy. 

Today is a different day.  RM isn't feeling the same pressure he felt 24 hours ago.  We aren't out of the woods yet, but God is continuing to show us He is taking care of us.  I pray we won't be like the Israelites and forget so quickly, but instead that we will remember.  Voskamp wrote, "Because remembering with thanks reminds them not only of the character of God....  but emboldens them to fiercely trust God for their future."  I want to be like that, fiercely trusting God for my future.