Well, I'm excited to say, scheduling, or should I say, re-scheduling, worked. When my little guys are on their own plan for life, it means trouble, and not just for them, but for me! I really do feel like I'm pulling my hair out a lot of the time and that just shouldn't be!
My first three children were, well, much easier! The oldest, responsible, diligent, quiet-natured. The next one, definitely more talkative, interactive, prone to getting into trouble, but so repentant when caught. The third one? Right out of a parenting book on "easy child". Every child after that has definitely added more "life" to our family, let's say....
But I'm so grateful. If I had stopped at 3, I would have definitely missed out on many parenting/life learning lessons. This will seem like a stretch, but a verse from Judges reminded me why each of our children are here,
"Now these are the nations that the Lord left, to test Israel by then, that is, all in Israel who had not experienced all the wars in Canaan. It was only in order that the generations of the People of Israel might know war, to teach war to those who had not known it before." (Judge 3:1-2)
Clearly, the verse is not speaking of children, but again, I'm simply drawing a principle from Scripture. The Israelites might have asked, "Why did you not take the Cannanites out of our land?" as they drew them away from God soon after. I could ask, "Why have you given me challenging children?" Any challenge He leaves in our life has a purpose, often to test us. I feel tested a lot. For the Israelites it was to teach them how to do war. How else do you learn except by having someone to do battle with?
The Canaanites were also left "for the testing of Israel, to know whether Israel would obey the commandments of the Lord." (Judges 3:4) Isn't that why God allows all things ultimately into our lives, to test us, refine us, purify us? Not unlike the Tree of Knowledge from the Garden of Eden, He wants us to choose to love Him, not to force us to. It isn't a set-up for failure, as I've sometimes seen it. It's His way of ensuring that we've chosen to love Him of our own free-will. Will I choose to go to God, or just sit in my pity party, whining about my busy household....
My younger boys have certainly taught me about war! My oldest two boys have almost never fought their whole lives. They are best friends. It's been so wonderful to watch their friendship grow over the years. Just the other day, my husband asked the oldest to change the lightbulb on the van. Almost immediately he came in looking for his brother, "Hey D, I need your help!" So great. But with the younger boys, it's a lot of playing, followed by a lot of crying......Maybe they'll be best friends when they are older, but for now, it's a constant series of me separating them so they don't kill each other!
It occurred to me, as I watch my older children watch me with each of their little altercations that I am training them how to deal with their future kids. I'm literally experiencing that verse, "in order that the generations...might know war, to teach war to those who had now known it before." My older ones didn't have conflict the way the younger ones do, but what if they have children who are disagreeable or children who have strong personalities? They'll need to know what to do and it is my job to teach them. I hardly know what I'm doing sometimes, but I'm learning through trial and error, a lot of prayer, talking with others, reading good material, and slowly but surely figuring these kids out. I'm learning about war so my kids will know how to deal with war, not just with their own kids, but with all situations in their future lives.
So, what exactly did I do with them yesterday? I wrote up a schedule for their day and taped this massive piece of paper on the fridge delineating their whole day, from wake-up time to bed-time. To anyone just walking in, it would have seemed a little regimented, but I had to be. I figure, start regimented, then loosen up once they get the whole idea of the schedule a little better. We couldn't follow it to the letter of the law because I had a guest for a couple hours, but we did our best and it sure helped. Little J and little B seemed to obey the schedule more than listening to me! That's a good thing. I wanted them to see it as if it were the law and they seemed to! I cannot tell you what it did for the rest of the day - it went virtually problem-free because they were busy, busy, busy! The snow outside was a huge blessing, too, as they were able to play a lot outside. We needed a snow fall! Being cramped inside as a little boy must be an awful form of torture! Girls don't seem to mind, they always have something fun to do, but not boys. They need to get out and run around.
All my children saw this and I hope they learned another war strategy. We'll see how "war" goes today.....
No comments:
Post a Comment