Still Running the Race

Our anniversary is coming up in September.  I love that time of year so much!  I look so forward to it all summer as we usually try to get away for at least one night.  Last year, we took our whole family away to the Outer Banks for our 20th anniversary.  As much as I would looooove to do that again, it probably won't be happening for a long time. Maybe our 40th!  But, we are going to try to at least go away just the two of us.

For the last few years, the time before our anniversary is a time of reflection.  Recently, we've begun to be quite deliberate about it.  We count back 40 days and dedicate that time to the Lord.  Both of us knew we had become a little more sloppy with our eating and in the name of picking something, we chose to ramp up our food choices to the "healthy eating" level and maybe even lose a few of those extra pounds we'd gained.  During this time, we pray together and commit all aspects of our marriage to him - including work, our children, friends, and, of course, debt reduction, then anything we know that needs concentrated prayer.  It is an exciting time and we never know what God is going to do during these 40 days.

On day 1, I was meeting with a friend who I rarely connect with.  We were going to pick berries together.  I don't really know this lady extremely well and so sometimes I'll pray that God will use the time together and that we'll talk about things that are meaningful.  I didn't know what we had in common so I wondered what we would talk about.

Almost 2 minutes into berry picking she made a comment about renovations on their house.  I asked how they made decisions on what to do each time they renovated, as it was a pricey reno.  She calmly, matter-of-factly, said, "Well, our mortgage is paid off....."  I stopped dead in my berry-picking tracks.  I couldn't believe it.  Now I knew why I was meeting with her and why we were berry picking together.  God had set the whole thing up.  He even had us meet on day 1 of our 40 day journey.  She didn't know that.  We stood there picking in the blazing hot sun for another 30 minutes or so as I interrogated her on how she did it.  I felt like crying the whole time we were talking.

She and her husband had started on their journey very near to the time my husband and I had started on ours.  Why had she had success and we hadn't???!!!  There was a spiritual battle beginning for me. I sensed it right away.  On the one hand, I wanted to run away and not hear her story.  I was green with envy that she and her husband were able to do what we longed for.  I also felt like such a failure. In my mind, I instantly felt like we were doing something wrong (enter bad thoughts towards husband....maybe its his fault...)  Do you see how Satan works?!  But then, instead, I tried very hard to let the Lord win.  Instead of running away, I asked more questions.  What did they do?  I tried to get her to be very specific.  That can be humbling as you can prefer to put up a wall and pretend to not care.  Not me.  I decided to be more open with her than I've been even with others.

I told her how it was day one of praying about this very thing.  Turns out, that prompted her to consider doing something like that in her life.  She told me about an app that Dave Ramsey (the financial guru) puts out that is very similar to the "envelope system" he encourages.  I found that and also found another one since then that I will try as well.  She and her husband did several things to get out of debt. The number one thing she kept saying was that they were intentional and deliberate. She had a budget she followed and she used the envelope system where she had a set amount of money in each envelope for each category of her budget - gas, groceries, entertainment, etc.

They also paid down their mortgage with twice a month payments which means you pay more more often.  It helped, of course, that her husband had a well-paying regular income.  She, too, had a part-time income that paid well.  They also only had 2 kids which I'm sure made a difference.  However, I still listened with eagerness to all that they did even though their situation was quite different. Knowing how different it was helped to relieve me of the comparison factor I was feeling actually.

After we left one another, I prayed and prayed the whole way home that the Lord would eventually bless us with a paid-off mortgage, too.  I came home and shared all that we had talked about with my husband and it was a confirmation that we were definitely supposed to continue praying aggressively during this time, to continue on the path of frugality, to make hard choices, to remember the end goal.

To further remind us that we need to stay strong, we studied Hebrews 12 this past Sunday.  We had studied this 2 years ago.  A lot of the notes in my Bible were reflective of the fact not much had changed in the last little while.  However, the Bible speaks to all the same issues.....running the race with ENDURANCE.  It is not a short sprint, but a marathon.  I must keep my eyes focused on Christ, not on my pathetic little situation, otherwise I quickly fall off the rails.  I must "not grow weary or fainthearted".  I still have a great life!  I have a full life!  I am experiencing many blessings along the way.  It is hardly something I have to endure if I really think about it.

Yet, God is still disciplining us.  He is not lifting His hand off us yet.  He is sanctifying us more and more in the process and I must not resist this "training" that the Bible calls it.  "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (vs 11)  Waiting on God doesn't have to be entirely unpleasant though.  The Bible gives some suggestions on how to embrace the process instead of just enduring it.  I'm learning to "lift my drooping hands", "strengthen my weak knees" and "make straight paths for my feet". vs 12)  This time of prayer actually strengthens our knees as we are on them all the time!  The verse is full of imperatives, commands that tell us to lift, strengthen and make straight.  Action words. There is nothing passive going on in this verse.  The rest of verse 12 is perfect - "so that WHAT IS LAME may not be put out of joint but rather BE HEALED." This is what I long for, a "healed" bank account. And always, we're praying for a plan.  Not unlike Esther who knew her people were in jeopardy, she had herself and her people pray and fast for a plan on how to save her people.

The end result will be the "peaceful fruit of righteousness" IF I've allowed myself to "be trained by it."  Note, it does not guarantee we will be debt-free, though I still pray for that.  Ultimately I must trust God that the fruit of righteousness will be seen in my life.  That has to be enough.  This leaves me in a place of hopeful anticipation.