What Fish Taught Me - A Movie Review

Ok, generally I am not a fan of all children's movies.  Sometimes there is so much inuendo, clearly intended for the adult watcher, that it turns us off and we will end up avoiding what seems like an "ok" film to the kids.  Then, the are other films out there that are super cute and really have a good message to both children and adults.  Finding Dory is one of those films.  (I don't think I'm ruining the movie if I describe a few scenes!)

We recently were given the privilege of a semi-private showing, thanks to a few strings my dad was able to pull, and the whole family went off to see the film.  I was quite taken aback by how it moved me.

Of course the kids probably didn't notice the deeper themes that the film was trying to portray.  The disability in Finding Dory is the fact that Dory struggles with "remembery loss", as the little Dory calls it.  I do not have a disabled child, per se, but I have children who have been either late readers or just more work discipline-wise.  Still, the film made me think of my own children and how beautifully the "fish parents" in the film handled their child's disability.

All througout the film Dory is looking for her parents.  She somehow lost them along the way in her little blue fish life.  As she starts to look for them she gets flashbacks, little memories of something they did for her.  Each one shows how they realized she had a condition that could never be taken away, but how they could work with her, train her, create synapses in her brain.  Each flashback demonstrates how they gave her little tools, memory joggers, just in case they ever get separated (ahhh...foreshadowing).  What was so moving in the flashbacks was listening to little Dory apologize over and over for "not getting it" or for forgetting all the time.  Without fail, the parents would immediately surround her with their loving fins and assure her over and over of their never ending love for her.  Many a tear-jerking scene.

I think the scene that most confused my youngest children was when Dory's parents think she's either "in bed" (do fish go to bed?) or not around and you see the Mommy fish crying and crying with her husband (do they have husbands?).  Suddenly, they weren't fish anymore to me.  All I could see was me and my husband crying over a child, "Will she be ok?  Do you think she's going to survive?  Are we doing the right things for her?"  Dory's mom never cried in front of her.  She always had to be strong, but when she was out of sight, she lost it.  She really was worried about her child's condition. She really was worried that she wouldn't survive or make it through life.  But her husband lovingly reassured her, as all husbands do even if they are worried, too.  It was another terrible scene for me as I've worried over children before.  I felt her pain and could barely keep back the tears.  My younger ones asked me later, "Why was the mommy crying in the movie?"  They didn't understand and will not understand until they have children of their own.

I left the film quite solemn, thinking to myself, unbelievably, how much I loved it.  I know there were ridiculously funny scenes and that perhaps the creators never meant it to even be so moving, but it was.  I had to google it and find out......sure enough, the writer, Andrew Stanton, is a Christian.  I don't know that he has a disabled child, but he is married with children and is responsible for many, many Pixar films that have Biblical themes.  I knew it!!!!!!

I have had frustrations that may seem so petty with certain children here at home.  For example, one of my sons, tends to argue with me, who knows why, about everything.  If I ask him to do something in school or with his chores, I tend to get an argument.  It is hard not to want to pull my hair out. When I look at my husband with eyes to say, "HELP!!!" he always says, "Be patient.  Give him time. He'll get it.  He'll come around."  So I do.  I try to be patient.  I always try to remember to have a big picture focus, looking at the months and years, not the daily struggles.  When I look back over months, I see progress.  If I look back from one day to the next, I feel frustration and tend to see no progress.  I've been trying to teach him simple things like sweeping the floor and cleaning the kitchen.  How he fought me on these things, but I persevered and just this week I asked him again to help me clean up the kitchen.  Within minutes, he had done the whole kitchen and with a good attitude.  When did that happen?  When did he learn that?  I can't even tell you the date or time, but I am sure it is because little by little, precept by precept, the training eventually worked only because I didn't give up.  Same with my little girl.  Wasn't reading at the ages of my other children, but there was this voice in my head that just kept saying, "Don't give up.  Don't give up.  It'll come.''  One day, sure enough, it happened.  She just started reading like she had been reading for years.  I don't know how it happened except that it was the same thing as with my son.  Over and over, reminding her of the sounds, the fact she didn't need to worry, that it would come, I would be patient.  Disabled children?  No, hardly, but still for a parent, a real challenge.  The movie reminded me of how important love is, unconditional, unrelenting, always patient, always encouraging, using tools, little tricks that can help a child learn.

Music was a minor theme in the movie, too.  The mom and dad created a song to help her remember what to do when she ever got into trouble, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."  Songs and music are a way to help our kids, too.  We've used it their whole lives to learn Scripture and other funny things like manners, days of the week, etc.  It works!

So there you have it - a movie review....about a silly fish named Dory and how it moved me to remember how to be a good parent especially with those children who need a little extra help in remembering.