Brokenness Qualifies

Two nights ago, while the Americans were voting for the shocker-of-all-shockers, I was able to attend a talk given by Ann Voskamp.  She is currently touring around promoting her new book, The Broken Way.

It was all about brokenness.  Brokenness isn't something only a few of us will experience.  All of us will at some time if we haven't already.  She said, "Suffering is coming.  Graves are coming.  Dark is coming."  The brokenness that is coming will leave us, most likely, with a broken heart, but....and this is where she gave a whole new light on brokenness....this is not something to fear.

We are typically afraid of all things broken.  It is in the brokenness that we get opened up, cracked, to be able to receive His love for us.

She spoke of her first book, 1000 Gifts.  That book taught her the importance of gratitude and how that is the secret to joy.  Yet, if she had left it there and just become a woman of gratefulness, that would not have been enough.  She realized, now that she had been changed, she had to now give.

She even boldly suggested that perhaps our hearts are made to be broken.  Isn't it always as a result of our deepest hurts we receive the greatest wisdom?

Her challenge to the women last night was to all the wounded souls, "Be world changers."   And for anyone who was there who was going to say, "No, I'm not qualified."  She said, "Brokenness qualifies you to be a world changer."

It is actually in our brokenness that allows us to reach out to others who are broken.  Isn't that a big wake up call to those of us who want to stay in our pity party instead of going out to minister to others?  We are to be "brokers" of pain.  What a statement.

Being a farmer's wife and in a long line of farmers, she compared brokenness to a seed.  All along the way, in the life of a seed, brokenness is required - first the seed breaks, then the soil, then the wheat and ultimately the bread is even broken.

She repeated so many times, "We don't need to fear broken things."  But, just like with the seed, we aren't happy with how long it takes to grow.  We want to be resurrected fast.  She gave the image of an acorn seed covered by a slab of concrete.  Seems like an impossible situation, yet we've all seen it, giant trees that have miraculously broken through unthinkably hard barriers - like cement.  "We have to believe in the seed life," she said.  "It will eventually break through."

Wounds break open the soil.  And though at first, when the seed is first broken it appears destroyed, it isn't.  It's all a part of the growth process.  If we avoid brokenness or think that it is something to deny, then it is possible that we actually circumvent the change that we're desperate for.  Once that change happens, we become a gift to others.  What a thought!  "We are the gift to be given," she said. With Christ within us, we give Christ to others.

So many of us are born in privileged places and are really like Esther, put in positions of privilege, given many things, "for such a time as this".  We are all like Esther, she said.  We are to risk our position and and use our gifts, all that we've learned through our brokenness and give of ourselves.

If Esther hadn't put her life on the line she would have died anyway along with the Jews.  She realized this and decided she would go speak with the king, which also had a risk - no one was allowed to go speak to the king unannounced or uninvited. She said, "If I perish, I perish."  She was a risk-taker.  She risked everything for those "outside the gate".  Who is outside our "gate"?

Ann used to cut herself on her wrists when she was a young teenager.  She was in so much emotional pain and she thought that would take away some of her pain.  Now, she draws a cross on her wrist where her cuts used to be.  This reminds her of the "cruciform" life she wants to live now - in the shape of a cross, where the vertical beams remind her of all the gifts that come down and her gratitude goes up.  The horizontal beams remind her of "koinonea", which is Christian fellowship and communion with others, only possible because of the vertical beams.

Her final demonstration was of holding a bottle of water.  It was full.  If we want more water, we have to pour it out.  "In the same way, " she said, "You only receive more of Christ if you are poured out."  This is what we want.

So it was a very powerful night.  Over 1100 women (and a few men) came to hear her.  She sat right in front of me before the talk.  She was held by her husband as we sang a few songs.  These songs were very moving and they made her seem very emotional as she bent over, so overwhelmed by God's love for her, to be used in this way as she would raise her hands at each line that spoke of who we are in Christ and how we need to be brave.  Her husband kept his farmer arm around her shoulder the whole time just loving her.  It was hard for me not to be crying along with her as I witnessed this special moment between the two of them.  God is using this woman in really neat ways.

The unique part of the night was how I found out only one hour before that I was going to be going.  I had tried to coordinate a group of women, but discovered it was double-booked on a night of a homeschool meeting.  Oh well, I thought.  I've seen her speak before.  It wasn't meant to be.  But then the meeting got changed!  Oh yeah!  But this time, I couldn't find anyone to go with me and I thought again, "Oh well....not meant to be."  I remembered thinking to myself as well that if God did want me there, He could work it out.  Sure enough a friend of mine knew someone who had backed out.  She also knew I wanted to go, so one hour before, I got the call, "I have a ticket!"  So off we went.  I've told the kids to surrender their rights so many times and I had to as well.  I was blessed in the process.