Striving to be a Daughter of Sarah

This was my devotional for my homeschool moms this week:

Yesterday had started off great.  I was determined to cut Satan off at the pass.  I had read some great verses in Matthew 7 and 8 reminding me not to not be anxious (as that is something I tend to battle) about anything, about what I will eat, what I will wear, or if my kids will be strong readers, or if I'm doing enough in our homeschool, or about my husband's work, or about anything.  The phrase Jesus used was, "O you of little faith".  He repeated that same phrase when the disciples woke him up in the boat.  "We are perishing!"  they no doubt yelled.  Before he even calmed the sea, he said to them again (probably somewhat annoyed that they weren't getting it yet), "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith." 

I really reflected on those verses for awhile as I can allow my stomach to get in knots for no good reason and I could hear God's voice telling me, "Enough is enough.  Get a grip.  Stop being anxious.  Stop being afraid and stop being a woman of little faith."  So I regrouped, confessed and prayed thanking God that I could be a person of great faith!  I got out of the shower, feeling like a new Christian!  

But then, someone knocked on the door.  

It was 7:30 in the morning.  

Who would be knocking on my door?  It was a neighbour that I didn't really know telling me that our bull was out.  Oh no.  

First wave of fear. 

Down the street, in the road, she said.  

More fear. 

She was quite concerned as he is quite an imposing animal.  "Thanks for letting me know!  Heh heh, " I said nervously.  I woke up the only two kids who could help, but there wasn't really anything they could do as this bull is a bull!  You don't go near bulls. They are by nature dangerous.  I know, one charged me last summer!  But my daughter seemed to think she could handle this bull and so she started walking right out to it!  I was yelling at her from the door to stay away from him.  

More waves of fear as I pictured her being gored like a Spanish matador.  

Then I looked at the time, I was going to be late for my appointment for our car at 8:00. 

More pangs of anxiety as I didn't know how I could make it work.  

By this time I had called my husband.  I don't want to say I was hysterical.  Let's just say, I spoke in such a way that he knew he needed to come home and help me with the bull!  Well, the long story short is I went from being a woman of faith, to absolutely no faith in a matter of minutes.  I was no different than the disciples who had just seen Jesus heal all sorts of people, but then they got on the boat and completely panicked at the first sign of waves.  Yup, that was me.  

I talked with my kids after everything was back to normal, the bull was in, my husband was back at work, my daughter wasn't gored, my neighbour was gone, the car had gotten taken care of and I hadn't missed my appointment.  I told them mommy had failed her first test of faith that morning.  I had had good intentions, but had been caught off-guard.  Epic fail, we like to say.  

Had my fear helped in any of the situations?  No.  Had I gotten everyone else worked up in the process?  Yes.  My husband said I took ten years off his life with my phone call.  Had my fear helped me get to my appointment sooner?  No.  

Fellow homeschool moms...(and I suppose men struggle with fear, too!) if fear, anxiety, or worry is an issue for you, listen to me.... we have to stop being women controlled by fear.  I know I failed, but it was a great reminder to me to not fail next time.  I know I might fail again, but I'm really praying I won't be caught off-guard so easily (although a bull is kind of scary!)  We need to be known as women of great faith!  Not women of little faith.  We need to see how our fear and anxiety affect those around us.  I am teaching my kids to be fear-filled, not faith-filled, if I continue to behave the way I did yesterday morning!  I was sure convicted of it the rest of the day.  Satan knew I was trying to be more faith-filled, so I was definitely a walking target, but I should have been more aware of his schemes.  1 Peter 3:6 says, speaking of Sarah, "And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."  What a great verse!  We have to be daughters of Sarah, not afraid of anything frightening!  Not even a bull!  That is what she is known for, and the Bible says we are her children, so we have to be just like her!  Amen!  So, we really have no excuses - faith is in our genes.  We don't have to fall for the devil's schemes.  We can walk in confidence every day that we are daughters of Sarah, faith-filled, fear-averse, women.  Awesome.