Africa, Health and The Critical Role of a Wife

It seems like we're settling into a bit of a routine with our son gone now.  We touch base by email nearly daily and then a weekly phone call or instagram chat.  Technology is amazing.  To think in the olden days people weren't in touch for years.  So much was missed.  I've been able to see and hear so much about his time away.  He's basically become a surgical assistant to the doctor and seems to be dong a great job. His stories continue to gross us all out, but at the same time, lives are being literally saved because of what the hospital is doing.  And he gets to play a small part.

He'll be off to the farm soon where he'll find out more about this alleged leopard and python problem.  Great.

Meanwhile, back at my farm, we continue to try to stay on track with all our health and financial goals by way of being more disciplined and determined.  In less than 2 weeks, my husband is already seen over 6 lbs gone and I'm almost the same.  On all those instagram stories you'll hear "I made this one change and it all disappeared".  No.  We made many changes.  It isn't just one thing.  This may sound like we're depriving ourselves, and in a way we are, but when you have a spiritual goal in mind, it isn't hard at all.  We've both noticed that it hasn't been difficult really one bit.  Maybe it's because we're doing it for our son in a way, for his protection, to kind of come alongside him in his lack of conveniences, to feel a sort one oneness with him maybe?

For starters, I'm exercising more regularly again.  I didn't do anything over the summer because I  was in the vines so much, so that was enough exercise for me.  But now that that is basically over I'm doing just a few minutes a day.   I also decided to to the dreaded black coffee, no cream or sugar at all (except I do on the weekends).  I actually don't mind it.  We're both intermittent fasting, so no food until maybe 10 am and then we stop at dinner - nothing else after that until the next morning.  We used to enjoy a glass of wine - that's gone.  We eat a lot of salad now, no bread really or anything white.  Small portions.  There's definitely been a calorie deficit, especially for my husband.  He's totally on board though.  He's been bringing coffee to work.  He used to go for coffee and maybe a snack at Tim Horton's every day, more than once a day.  No more.  I joke with him that he was the hole in the bucket.  He's saving us so much money by not doing that.  He brings his measly lunch with him every day.  He eats such small portions I can't believe it and he doesn't even complain!  I've noticed the difference in the way his shirts fit already.  So we're all in.  He plans on being a completely different looking person by the time our son gets home.  I'm just planning on being what I was pre-babies if possible.  I'm motivated, too.

We are entering into Thanksgiving month.  We have so much to be thankful for.  Three years go we were in a place of the unknown for my husband's work.  We'd been without a regular contract for a long time and didn't know which way to go.  After a time of intense praying and seeking the Lord, a job got dropped in our lap at the college and we were in awe.  It was only part time at first, but that allowed him to still be home, do some farming and tie up loose ends with his other company.  Within a few short months, he was able to get some teaching time there and we were amazed at how not only did God answer our prayer for a job, but two jobs!  The other part-time job went to full time and then he even got more teaching hours.  In some ways, this was more than we could have ever asked for or imagined!  The only problem was that now he was no longer around.  Yes he had work and good work and he was thriving, but our home life was suffering as never saw Dad.  Again we prayed.  What do we do now?!  And things were unsettled at his job.  Being government funded, it was always uncertain as to how long this would last or if the funding would come in.  He applied everywhere just in case.  But nothing seemed to come of all the applications.  It was a confusing time.

We continued to pray.  Then one day this past summer a position opened up a the college that he was really excited about.  He applied one last time and got interviewed and offered the position.  We were thrilled.  He is now in a management position at the college overseeing all the research going on there and he loves it.  This allows him regular hours where he is home more again and is able to do work on the farm in the evenings as well as be around the kids.  We are so grateful.  As he looks back on his career, all the unusual jobs he's had, running his own company for 12 years, even the jobs as a kid, they all seem to point to this one.  This current job has every skill he's ever acquired all rolled into one.  As I met with another mom who's husband is trying to figure his career out, I encouraged her with our story as all those times of wondering where my husband should work, what kind of career he should pursue, were all part of the process.  I didn't love being in the job wasteland as we found ourselves sometimes.  But looking back, it was an amazing faith journey.  I told this other mom, it was my job to pray for him when he was so down and out on himself.  I lifted him up every day for months, years even.  He was my main prayer request when I met another friend to pray with.  I fasted on his behalf often.  His career path has been my faith path.  Of course, it would have been waaaaay easier if I'd known then what I know now.  If I'd known it would all work out, but that's just not faith, is it?  There were hard times, but I just kept praying through it all and I  know I can't take the credit for his job, but I do kind of feel like my prayers were responsible!!!  To God be the glory for sure, but I know He used me! 

The moral of the story - wives, steadfast praying wives, are the key to a husband's career.  I'm convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my role was critical in my husband's career search.  All the times he was down, I held him up.  I encouraged him.  I often had a verse for him that I would share.  When he couldn't remember how amazing God was, I told him.  I prayed for him when he couldn't pray.  I reminded him of God's faithfulness in the past.  Ann Voskamp calls them "planks of thanks" - these are the memories of what get us from the unknown to the known.  By recalling the past we get through the times of the unknown.  I tried to do this for my husband.  I couldn't apply for the jobs, I couldn't get him the interviews.  I couldn't make the money for our family to feed us.  I could only do the work in the background, the spiritual background.  This role cannot be underestimated.  "He who finds a wife finds a good thing."  Why is that verse in the Bible?  Because Solomon knew wives were important!  But as wives, we need to be that "good thing"!  We have to be the very "good thing" that a husband finds "good"!  Just existing isn't enough.  We need to move into that role very actively and be something that our husbands can write about like Solomon.  Were there times when inside I was just as panicked at my husband was possibly feeling?  Yes and no.  I had times when I wondered what our future was going to look like, but I have the biggest "thanksgiving" bank account - I have "banked" so many amazing answers to prayer in our marriage, in my life, that it really becomes impossible to doubt God when you look back and see what He has done.  So when the doubts would come, as they tried to, it just took a quick reflection on the past and I was back on board, full of faith.

All that said, Thanksgiving may just be a contrived date on the calendar, but I'm still grateful for the opportunity to truly reflect on all that God has done.  It gets me excited about the future.