Yesterday was a challenging day on the farm...Well, let me reword that....every day seems to bring a farm challenge! We are realizing more and more that taking dominion over the land is a full-time job. It fights us every step of the way. We plant a seed, 7000 weeds come up with it. We plant a vine, it wants to grow down into the ground, not up. We plan to work in the garden, it rains. We plant to weed in the garden, we find bugs. It just isn't easy. So why we were surprised yesterday seems odd. Maybe it was because it just seemed extra hard.
My husband went to the vines to see how much work it would be to "cluster-thin" the grapes. Instead he found that some of the grapes looked like they were rotting. Not all of them, but some of them. That is NOT good. That means we have to buy more spray, if it isn't too late. That meant unexpected expense. He got the spray and went to go put it on, but the sprayer stopped working.....He was pulling his hair out.
But alas, we prayed. We know this is the process. We know somehow RM can always seem to fix the broken machines and he did, thank the Lord, but there are always those moments when you feel so discouraged.
Moses knew this. I read yesterday Exodus 6. The Israelites had just heard that they were supposed to make the same amount of bricks without straw. Thanks Moses, is how they felt. It was his fault, they thought. It was because he had asked Pharoah to let them go. Pharoah assumed it was because they were bored and needed more work. Moses tried to tell the people, it'll be ok! God has a plan! I'm going to talk to Pharaoh again and ask him to let us go! This is the verse that I could relate to:
"Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel, but they did not listen to Moses, because of their broken spirit and harsh slavery."
Broken spirit. Harsh slavery. That about sums it up. Sometimes our spirits are broken. We know the promises of God, but because we don't always see how He is working, we get discouraged in our humanity. We take our eyes off God and see only our problems. Suddenly, we feel more like we are under harsh slavery and thus, the broken spirits.....which, in essence, is really another word for "self-pity".
But, thankfully, God doesn't keep us there. Moses goes to God and says, "Behold, the people of Israel have not listened to me. How then shall Pharoah listen to me, for I am of uncircumcised lips?" He gets all whiny and pathetic. He had seen so many signs before, multiple miracles....what a guy. Yet he says to God, "They'll never believe me....." God has a great answer, which is amazing in itself that God bothers to respond....
"But..." (which, to me, says - I'm going to remind you that I am going to say the opposite of what you just said"......"But, the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron and GAVE THEM A CHARGE about the people of Israel and about Pharoah king of Egypt: to bring the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt."
So that's it - no broken spirits allowed. Don't worry about the harsh slavery. God is giving a charge - and quite simply that means, I'm God and this is going to happen, no matter what it appears like and no matter what you feel. I said I would bring them out of Egypt and its going to happen, so....stop flapping your lips and do what I say. Believe my promises.
I actually found that quite encouraging.....it's not that we aren't allowed to have a broken spirit. But in that brokenness, we have to decide to trust God. My daughter reminded me yesterday, "Fear says, 'what if?'. Faith says, 'even if" " So, if I have faith, then I can remember that God has given me a charge. I remember the many signs, miracles, and promises He has given me, He said He would bring the people out of the land of Egypt, so I have to believe He'll do that for me, too. But.....EVEN IF it doesn't go as planned and EVEN IF He doesn't resolve all my issues in one day and EVEN IF the harsh slavery lasts longer than planned (400 years?), and EVEN IF my spirit feels broken sometimes...I will listen to the charge He has spoken to me, to trust Him.
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