I'm Learning to be a Boy Mom....finally

If I am not Mom of the year for 2020, I'll sue.  Yesterday had to be the day I got the most votes.  At least by my one son who is nearly 14.  I let him go to a "meetup" of flippers.  What is that, you ask?  Well,  it is a group of boys aged 11-15 who all LOVE flipping on trampolines.  And not just regular flipping, but serious flipping.  The 11 year old set a record for a "quint" - 5 rotations.  My own son set his own record for his first "trip back" (triple back flip for those less aware of alllllll the abbreviations - that I only learned yesterday......add rolling eyes here).  Here's the gang that showed up:

Let's put it this way.  I am not a boy mom.  I was so excited when I had my first girl.  I knew I would be ok.  I had her name picked out (no boy name).  I knew I would be great.  But then the boy came.  That was ok.  I knew one boy would be nice to have for my husband, but that was enough.  Then a second boy.  I wasn't happy.  I didn't know what to do with boys.  I had really grown up with all sisters and I was 5 years older than my brother, so didn't hang out with him very much.  But then another girl, whew!  But then another boy!  Oh no!  Oh, another girl.....then TWO MORE BOYS!!!  I ended up out numbered by all the boys 5-3.  This was not good.

But the first two boys that God gave me were amazing.  They were compliant, obedient, kind, respectful, SAFE.  Maybe this boy thing wasn't so hard after all.  I figured I was just an amazing mom.  But then.....my next 2 boys showed me, no, I wasn't an amazing mom, God had just eased me into the boy world slowly.  The next 2 showed me what boys are ACTUALLY like - loud, crazy, fighting, dangerous, sometimes rude and unkind....see, that's what I was afraid of!!!!  My one son hated the safety program I took him to one year because he wanted to learn about DANGER not safety!!!

Fortunately, the last boy is a little more like the first two, so I might just live, but these middle two boys are absolutely my greatest challenge in the sense that I don't know if they'll live another day most days.  So what's a mom to do?  Fight it?  Give in to her fears?  Keep them in a box?  Make them be like their brothers when they are nothing like their brothers?  Let them do dangerous things?  I don't know, so I just pray.

Well, this is a new world and my son reconnected with an old friend online who also just happened to love flipping.  This boy's mom and I have been friends for 20 years and have all the same concerns when it comes to our kids and our faith.  They homeschooled their kids as well and he is their only boy who just happens to love dangerous things.  He invited my son over to this meetup.  How I wanted to say no.  I kept hoping there would be a way to get out of it.  Maybe I would have no car.  Maybe I would have to drive everyone to work right at that time.  Maybe my husband would put his foot down and say no way.  But none of that happened.  I did have to drive someone to work, so I was going to take him there for a little bit, but not for the whole time as I did need to get the car back.  But just before we left my daughter decided to not go into work making her car available.  This meant if we decided to let him stay the whole time then I could get him later.  When we arrived at the meetup, we found out the boys that were coming were coming from all over Ontario - 10 of them.  They had been specifically invited because they had made records of some kind.  I knew my son would just die if I took him home before connecting with these guys and I also knew he would die if I let him stay....of excitement.  I quickly texted my husband and to my shock, he said, "Let him stay."

My friend and I prayed together for the boys, for their safety, for wisdom and discernment, that our two kids would be lights in the group of boys....and then I left with complete peace that my son would be ok.  It was perfect...when I got in the truck a comedy show was on, so I laughed the whole way home.  A God-timed moment for sure.

Watch this terrifying video to understand my pain......

When my son came home he was sunburnt and beaming from ear to ear, "This was the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE MOM!"  He went on and on and on about how much fun it was, how great the boys were, how amazing the day was, the incredible number of tricks they all did......he was so happy.  I was so glad that it had all worked out for him.  What if I had kept him home?  What if I had made him do hay (that's what all the other kids were doing?)  What if I had allowed my fears to control me? Maybe once in a while living on the edge and allowing boys to do those dangerous things actually contributes to who they are in a way?  He told me himself that he didn't want to do the triple backflip.  The boys said to him, "You got this...."  Not in a stupid dare kind of way, but in a "we believe in you" kind of way.  That made him realize he was simply afraid, but he knew he had it in him.  When he did it, someone filmed him and everyone else shouted and encouraged him.  He said he felt so good inside when he accomplished this thing that he had really wanted to, but didn't think he could.  Maybe he'll remember that feeling when he gets older when he comes up against something hard and he'll tell his kids one day about the time he did the "trip back".

So that's why I should be mom of the year - I learned that maybe just maybe boys need to do things that appear really scary to a mom once in a while....not every day, please and thank you, but once in a while.  And I felt really good that I actually let him go even though inside I was freaking out.  To hear and see all that he would have missed out on would have been hard for him and me.  I hope these meetups don't happen weekly.  So far it's an annual thing.  My son is already wanting to host one......NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  If I do that, I will be MOM OF THE DECADE, no, MOM OF THE CENTURY!!