Bathtime Reflections

The tub.  Yes, the tub.  That is where my husband gets all his revelations.  If you read books about famous missionaries or other famous men and women that walked with God, they often talk about how they would wake up in the morning and see their Mom or Dad on their knees praying.  Our kids will remember that their Dad spent time with God, but he was in water.  I don't know what it is, but when he is in there I think he's just relaxing his achey muscles, but he's in fact receiving life-changing messages for our family.

He'll often walk out of the bathroom and say, "I know what I have to do now" or "We have to have a talk, I've got a plan" or "We're going to have a family meeting, I have an idea".  These last few weeks alone, situations have come up where we've needed extra wisdom.  In one case my husband realized that his teaching in the new year was coming to a close, so a while ago he came out of his tub time and said, "I'm going to create an online course for electronics".  And that's what he did, because the idea came to him - in the tub.  Over the past couple of weeks he's been getting a good number of new students that will all take his course starting in January.  I've learned to not question him and instead help him realize the thoughts and plans that come to him.

Another time just a couple of weeks ago, a situation arose with one of our children that was causing some friction between siblings.  I wasn't ignoring it, I just didn't quite know what to do, so I prayed.  I'm 100% convinced there is a connection between how I pray for him and how God then reveals a plan to RM.  And that's what happened.  As I prayed for RM, God laid out the exact plan that we were to do.  He called a meeting between the children involved and he explained to them, through the Scriptures that God had showed him, exactly how they were to handle the situation and one another.  At the end of the short meeting, each child felt so happy, so relieved that their Dad had told them what to do!  They felt so relieved that each one of their feelings had been acknowledged and that they hadn't been left on their own to handle the situation.  I felt happy that he was leading our family as I didn't know what to do and we all walked away breathing a sigh of relief.

Just this past weekend, he came out of the tub again and announced, "Family Meeting!"  Once again, an idea had come to him to solidify our family.  As our older children are entering into relationships and as they are spending more and more time with their significant others or even just with friends, we've noticed that it is harder and harder to connect as a whole family.  We recognize that this is normal, however, we also want to make sure that we never forget that we are a family and that no matter what, no matter who gets married and leaves home, we will always be a family.  So in order to ensure that there is unity and that we are intentional about regular time together and regular conversations, he sat all of us down and in a kind and gentle way explained this to the kids and asked them to consider giving us one weekend a month.  On the Saturday we will work together on a family farm project - the kids' girlfriends or boyfriends can come on that day to help out, too - then on the Sunday it will be a day of rest and fellowship, but all together, capped off with a great meal that we all help make.  During that time we will intentionally talk, intentionally pray, intentionally have fun.  Everyone was on board and excited about the idea.  However, it will require kids taking time off work which we know is a sacrifice, but RM is wanting them to realize this is too important a weekend to miss and is asking them to take it off anyway.  Once again I marveled at his leadership, at his strength, at how God gave him such a clear plan.  I was so happy to see him step in like that yet again.  I think it made the kids feel special and they were all excited as they miss seeing their older siblings who are often gone.  They love the new people entering into our family, but they are a little jealous of how they take their siblings away so much.

These are just a few examples....RM has very specific plans for each child.  He gets very clear ideas for many situations that I don't know what to do about.  When this happens, I simply pray and ask God to show him and without a doubt, a plan comes to him.  In this way, I feel like I can rest.  I don't have to stress.  God is answering my prayer by talking to RM.  This allows RM to lead our family in a way that fuels the respect the kids have for him.  It also fuels the respect and love that I have for him.  It gives him a sense of purpose.  I think it makes him feel significant and respected which I believe all men need and it allows me to rest in his leadership knowing I don't have to solve the world's problems.  My shoulders are smaller for a reason.  His shoulders can handle the load more and they're supposed to.  Knowing this is how God intended the roles in a family to work and watching it be lived out is amazing.  Why anyone would go against God's plan for the family boggles my mind. It's just asking for strife.  Have all my problems disappeared?  No, but I know if I just suggest my husband take a tub, we'll be good.

Leviticus - An Underappreciated Book on Farming

I somehow doubt that many people say, "Leviticus is a great book!"  But, it really is.  Even though much of it deals with skin diseases and weird ways of dealing with leprosy, there are still a few verses that really stand out at me, particularly Leviticus 26 this morning,

3 “If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them, 4 then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. 5 Your threshing shall last to the time of the grape harvest, and the grape harvest shall last to the time for sowing. And you shall eat your bread to the full and dwell in your land securely. 6 I will give peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid. And I will remove harmful beasts from the land, and the sword shall not go through your land. 7 You shall chase your enemies, and they shall fall before you by the sword. 8 Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall chase ten thousand, and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword. 9 I will turn to you and make you fruitful and multiply you and will confirm my covenant with you. 10 You shall eat old store long kept, and you shall clear out the old to make way for the new. 11 I will make my dwelling[a] among you, and my soul shall not abhor you. 12 And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people. 13 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves. And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect.

This series of verses describes our farming life.  As all farmers know, which I'm still just learning, is that you don't plant a seed and then get paid the next day.  Farming is one of those "you're in it for the long haul".  You don't see the payback for months and in the case of the grapevines....years of waiting.  But this is what stands out at me from these verses.  God gives "the rains in their seasons", "the land shall yield its increase and the trees of field shall yield its fruit.  Your threshing shall last to the time of grape harvest and the grape harvest shall last to the time of sowing."  In the spring, the hay starts to come up.  If we were on top of things we could start harvesting hay in June, but we often don't get to it until July or August as we're in the vines.  Also in spring, the vines need pruning, so we start with that.  We're hoeing, weeding, spraying.  By the time we're done there we get to the hay.  The grapes are now more or less managing themselves if we can stay on top of the weeds.  We then take in the hay and fill the barn with it to the rafters, literally.  Then, no rest, the summer is over and we start taking in the grapes...by hand.  The grapes are then processed and moved into crushers, presses and vats.  Still, not a penny has been exchanged.  But then, the animal farmers start to reach out, "I need hay!"  This one sheep farmer found us online and has asked that we deliver hay to him every two weeks or so.  Now we start getting the income after all that work.  And just like the verse says, that income gets us through to the time of the grape income, which then takes us to the time of the garden and the sowing of those seeds..it's so cool!  Way back in March when I started making the vine trees, I had thought I might sell the trees, but to think that I would be selling them now is so interesting, too!  I'm pretty much sold out.  It took a long time to see that money, but well worth the wait!

"You shall eat old store long kept and shall clear out the old to make way for the new."  Even that phrase is so neat.  The sheep are literally eating all "the old store".  The income from "the old store" feeds us.  As we clear out the "old" we are making "way for the new".  The new hay will come this summer.  As the grapes get turned into wine, Lord willing we will sell that.  That will also make way for the new grape harvest.  It's a long cycle, but a great one and all the while it is God at work.  We just follow the principles that He has set up - sow, water, weed, manage, harvest- and then we see this amazing harvest year after year and the way the land provides for us.

The verse at the end of this sections says, "I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves.  And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect."  We feel in some ways that we have been brought out of the land of Egypt, by moving out here from the city.  We didn't even know that we were slaves when we lived in town, but in a way we were, as we tried to "keep up with the Joneses" as they say.  But, in so many ways, God has broken the bars of our yoke and given us a very different life.  In some ways it is a harder life, but it is so much more fulfilling.  We don't necessarily walk erect physically as our muscles are sore from all the work, but we walk erect perhaps emotionally and even spiritually.  Anyway, I just love that Leviticus, even that not-so-common book speaks to me.  I've probably read that series of verses before and I doubt it jumped out at me when I lived in town.  But now, to see the words like "threshing", "sowing", "grape harvest".....the Bible really becomes alive as THAT IS OUR LIFE!!  Then I see it truly as God's blessing on us, to be living these verses in actual time, not even Biblical times.  It's amazing.  I'm so grateful.  Even just writing it out helps me to see what a privilege it is to be on this farm.  I will try to communicate this to the children this morning.  It won't impact them the way it's impacting me as they've now grown up in this place.  Some of them have only known the farm, but for me and the older kids to have experienced both types of living, it is really amazing to see the Bible come alive just because of where we live.

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New Christmas Traditions, Vine Payoff, Teen Turnarounds

What a sad week this is for my kids!  I don't know how many years we've started off the tradition of Christmas with an annual breakfast with my whole family, all my siblings, my parents, all the cousins.....it's been the highlight of the year for years, the start of the season, the first gift of Christmas, the food, followed by picking out the tree, decorating it....all the things kids love, but not this year.....everything is cancelled.  So I thought about it a little bit and decided to do it at home....I'm going to recreate the whole breakfast....all the food that they would typically have at this amazing brunch.  It's going to be a lot of work, but I'm determined to make it a great morning.  Eggs benedict, hashbrowns, bacon, sausage.....it's going to be delicious.  I even picked up a few small things as mini gifts....nothing too crazy, but just a little something to open.  Then we're going to go get a tree and we are going to decorate it and, darn it, we're going to have fun!!  

Seriously....in the big picture, it's all so silly to get upset over a little meal that gets missed and in reality, they have it pretty good.  They aren't really missing a lot when you think about kids around the world, so I'm not going to let them commiserate too much.  I am happy, however, to give alternatives in this crazy situation we find ourselves.  I enjoy being creative and finding a way to still make it happen.  They were so happy to know it was still going to happen just not in the way they thought.  I think it'll be great and I'm looking forward to it as much as they are....

I continue to be amazed at how our little mini concord vineyard has made some extra income for us this year.  First the u-pick and and now the trees.  I wasn't going to sell them, but then after listing them this past week, I am glad I did!  I've sold a few now and I'm so glad I did!!!!  It's been some extra money after all the work I did way back in March and it's such a blessing!!!!

This week has also been a bit of a challenge for me as my 14 year old and I are working through his Algebra.  I never thought I would be so good at math.  This program we are using teaches it in a way I've NEVER learned and it has been HARD!  My son has nearly lost his mind and that goes for me, too.  But we powered through it and wow, we're winning I think.  This might not seem like a big deal, but it's a big deal.  I've been really praying for this boy as at times, he can be the classic moody teen.  I think the value of having a large family is that every child is different and unique and just when you think you're a successful parent, God gives you a dose of humility by giving you a new challenge in kid-form.  My older kids didn't really fall into that pattern of classic teen - who knows why.  I cannot take any credit for that.  This guy has really pushed me and my limits in patience.  God has shown me time and time again that I cannot take his ups and downs personally and that is what has helped me so much.  Sometimes I see his negativity as a direct attack from the enemy, trying to make him see the world through a dark lens.  I can almost picture the demon sitting on his shoulder whispering lies into his head, about himself, his life, his schooling, his siblings.....and it is at those times I pray very specifically for him and against anything that is attacking him.  But what has come out of this has been only a miracle.  This week as he listened to my older son share his amazing testimony and how he was able to share Christ with his fellow employees, something clicked in my younger son's heart.  "I want a faith like that," he said.  Then he watched some baptisms this past week online from our church and something clicked there, too.  "I'd like to get baptized...I just don't want to say a lot up front...."  As he watched me try to stay calm with him and his math, something clicked there, too.  "Thanks, Mom, for helping me this week.   Sorry it was so hard."  I've shared with others in my family to keep praying for him and I believe their prayers are being answered.  It's so great to hear him quickly apologize now, to me, to his siblings, as he's often quick to get short with them and with me.  He's gone back later on in the day when he perhaps offended someone and told me, "I said sorry to the kids for how I spoke to them this morning."  You did what???  Amazing.  He told me how he has chatted with another son about how he reads the Bible and what he should look for as he reads because sometimes it just doesn't make sense to him.  Mind boggling.  These are all good signs to me that God is working in his young life!  I'm thinking maybe the moody teen stage really won't last forever!  I praise God for these encouragements this week as it can be hard raising kids that don't want to be raised!  The world hates them, Satan hates them.  The spiritual battle for them is so real.  But I feel like God gave me a big boost of encouragement this week particularly with this one son.  I just can't let up on the prayer, the patience....it seems like there is light at the end of the tunnel......there's just so many kids left after him!!!!!  I'll get a holiday eventually, right??  They'll thank me eventually, right????  There's a crown in heaven, right???  Probably nothing will happen this side of heaven, so no earthly rewards to look forward to, but that's ok.....just to see him smile is enough for me right now.

More Wasps and Learning to Pray with Courage

I'm sitting here incredibly tense....all I hear is buzzing.  For the second time in a few days I've been stung by a wasp in the comfort of my own home!  I don't think I'm allergic to them, but whatever poison is in their sting is very itchy, at least after the initial dart-in-the-arm feeling.  Stupid me can't stop itching and now my arm is literally twice it's normal size.  As of this morning I think it is finally going down in the swelling.  It's not like there are swarms of wasps, just one or two sneak in through cracks in the house and they seem to find me.  Now, every night, I check my sheets, the floor, the windows...every where I step.  Then this morning, I heard another one above my head.  I located it, smacked it, but then thought I still heard it.  I sat down with my phone beside me, thinking maybe I still heard the buzzing sound.  Suddenly my phone alarm went off with the vibrating/buzzing sound....I nearly jumped out of my skin!!!!  I'm a little on edge needless to say.  I have no interest in getting stung again.  It makes me feel 6 years old!!!

This past week my oldest son was invited to a friend's house from work.  We always pray and challenge him to be more than just a buddy with all his colleagues, but a witness.  He had been wary of being upfront about his faith at work.  There really hadn't been an opportunity, but he was also torn between being professional, being courageous, being treated differently, even being fired....Everyone knew he was different, acted differently, didn't participate in all the partying, swearing, reckless relationships, etc., but did they know why?  He started to feel very convicted about it.  What should he do?  Should he say more?  Say anything?  When?  How?  What if he was in their lives for a reason?  What if he was the only Christian that came into their lives?  He prayed.  We prayed.  He had his Power to Change group pray.  When they invited him to connect on Friday, he agreed, but with the intent of making the most of every opportunity.

We didn't see him until Saturday night as he came home late on the Friday and went straight to work on the Saturday.  When we finally connected he was just beaming, so excited.  God had answered his prayers in such a neat way.  My son didn't have to do a thing, the conversations just naturally (or supernaturally, I should say) just flowed.  Person after person started asking him about who he really was, why he was that way, what he believed....he literally shared the gospel and they were all ears.  He would stop talking every once in a while just to see if they wanted him to keep going, and they would just keep asking more and more.  It was so inspiring for our younger children.  Hearing him talk made one of my kids long for the faith his older brother has and he literally expressed that longing out loud which made me so happy.  He asked what books he should read and what he should do in order to be like him.  It's moments like that when I realized the power of having so many different ages in the home.  It's as if my husband and I have a team of people now all longing to raise these younger ones to love God.  It's not just the two of us, but there are 6 of us in the house praying for these younger ones.  How amazing is that?!

As a result of listening to my older son, we changed our whole night and brought out some of the material we've read in the past to the older set and are now attempting to go through it with the younger ones.  We started with Ken Ham's testimony called "Fire in My Bones"....in this talk he explains how he started Answers in Genesis and how the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter began.  It's long so we're listening to it over a series of nights, but it's so good.  It was a great reminder to not give up with these younger ones, to do what we attempted to do with the older ones, to fill their minds with good things, to inspire them, to train them.  Covid has stopped a number of the opportunities that we had with the older ones.  Bible Quizzing was impacted, Worldview Camps were eliminated, courses we used to send the kids to don't happen any more.  So now we have to be more creative and intentional.  I liked it when it was easier, but it's like the verses we read yesterday "in church", at home.  King David had a plan to build the Lord a house, but God said, no, I have a different plan.  David didn't pout though, he sat and prayed and thanked Him for revealing that to him.  He said, "Therefore your servant has found courage to pray before you.  And now, O Lord, you are God, and you have promised this good thing to your servant."  So that's kind of how it is with me.  I had a life plan for my kids and I have to keep surrendering that before the Lord.  I need to sit like David, not pout about Covid, or any of the plans I had that got changed and just pray with courage thanking Him that He is God, I'm not and keep remembering His faithfulness and all His kept promises to me.

Contact Lenses, Wasps and Math

I recently tried using contacts again and for a full two days was loving it, but because I hadn't used them for so long, I was out of the habit of taking them out at night.  I ended up leaving them in overnight and in the morning woke up in a panic as my vision was strange.  When I suddenly realized it was because I had forgotten to take out the lenses, I raced to the bathroom to get them out.  The first one came out right away, but not the second one.  At this point I don't know what happened.  Had it already come out?  Or was the other lens stuck in my eye somewhere and I just couldn't see it?  I wasn't sure.  I tried to look myself to see if I could see it, but it wasn't obvious.  I even did the "sight test" where I looked in the distance to see if my sight was clearer and in my mind it definitely was which meant it was still on my eye.  So I kept trying to get it out, but the problem was, there was no lens there, as I found out later, so what I was doing in reality was rubbing my eye for a very long time back and forth and all over ultimately irritating it so much it felt like I had been punched in the eye.  

I did go to the doctor just to see if it was there and he said it wasn't which meant I had created a very bad situation for myself.  He gave me a different pair of lenses to try and I was supposed to take a break from wearing them until my eye got better.  I had a different plan.  I was driving up to my sister's place that afternoon and decided I would like to see while I was driving, so I put the lenses in again, but this time I was definitely going to remember to take them out.  That night my eyes were reminding me well before bedtime to get them out.  Again, the first one came out no problem, but not the second one!  I almost panicked.  But, fortunately, I did get it out almost right away, but not before my eye was screaming at me.  I went to bed that night with it literally throbbing.  I vowed no more contact lenses!

That same night, after having gone to bed, I felt something crawling on my leg.  I brushed it away.  We live in an old house, could have been a spider, I thought in my sleepiness.  It went further down my leg.  I brushed it away again, but this time, what I thought was a spider, bit me so hard I screamed out loud in pain and shock!  I woke up my husband who also yelled, "What happened!"  I told him, "I just got bit by a spider!"  I went to turn on my flashlight on my phone and suddenly I saw what it was - a wasp!  It was sitting on the edge of my bed right beside the spot where I had been "bitten" - turns out it was a sting!  I couldn't believe it!  What was going on with me?!  I killed the wasp and attempted to go back to bed, but between my swollen eye and now my swollen knee (where I had been stung, not bit!), I felt like I had been in a fight!  Needless to say it was a challenge to go back to bed......after a long time I finally fell asleep, but I woke up laughing.....did anyone else get stung while they were sleeping?  We actually have tons of wasps every fall trying to get into our house, but I normally kill them before they get in our sheets!  Last night I definitely checked my bed before going to sleep!

Such strange challenges.....seems like a joke almost that someone was trying to play on me.  For my birthday this year, I was given a copy of part of this blog - from 2013-2015 - just two years, in book format.  My sister had it printed off and bound.  It was over 500 pages long!  I couldn't believe it.  I had no idea how much I had written.  Just for fun, I had my husband read out a few journal entries.  It reminded us of a bunch of stories we had forgotten, car accidents he had been in, times we had been taken care of, funny stories, miraculous stories.....it was really neat to reflect, to see how God had taken care of us again and again.  Even in the funny lens story and the crazy wasp sting story, I was imagining what it would have been like if I had lost of my sight or what if I had been allergic to wasps?  I wish I had been grateful longer, but for a few short moments, I was so grateful that I hadn't lost my sight and that I hadn't gone into anaphylactic shock.  So maybe, these strange little stories of the last two days are just another little entry in my "book" that will remind me of God's care for me even throughout the night.

Today is going to be a big day for two of my kids.  I entered them into their first University of Waterloo math contest!  Hilarious.  It's for the grade 5/6 age group.  It's not the classic addition and subtraction contest, it's more like logic and prepping them for computer coding, but either way, it's a little intimidating.  I've been prepping them for the last few weeks by doing the old contests alongside them.  I HATED EVERY MOMENT!!!  It isn't how my brain works at all.  Sometimes I had to read and then reread every single problem what seemed like 100 times.  I have to say, my logic skills have no doubt improved over the last two months - so funny.  My son told me before he went to bed, "It hurts my brain!"  Oh no.  That means he might be like me.  All the more reason to start him young and train his brain.  So hopefully we're on the right track to getting my kids more mathematically inclined.  I praise God for my new Ph.d. math friend who is walking me through this.  Only God could bring me a friend like that!

But God has a sense of humour, he also has me teaching my other son Algebra, grade 9, and word problems.  Uh, I hate word problems.  But, oddly enough, I'm getting better at that, too.  What is God doing?!  Why is there so much math in my life?!  It might be because I prayed for this, that our year would be better and more math and science focused.  Well, God is oddly answering my prayer, I just don't like His answer.

Anyway, reading the blog has been an encouragement to me to see how these funny things in my life are all signs of how God takes care of us, answers our prayers so specifically, and is in the business of the little details contact lenses, wasps and math.

The Wood Boiler Story

For a long time we've had a number of things on the property that we've wanted to sell.  I'm always amazed how the process works.  I see the things as junk, but others see the things as gold.  My husband is really good at writing great listings and knows the importance of good pictures.  It's amazing to me when someone comes and picks them and PAYS FOR THEM!  

Over the years my husband acquired so much stuff from his engineering business.  Many things he almost scrapped, but then at the last minute he would list them and, amazingly, they sold.  Today is another one of those days.  We bought a wood boiler years ago.  We had big plans that we were going to heat our house with wood and even our shop, but the plumbing required to get it going was so extensive we decided not to.  At times I felt it was such a huge mistake.  I had to keep myself from making my husband feel bad about making what seemed like a poor decision.  It was a lot of money at the time, but this is thing I love so much.  Instead of nagging, I've learned to trust, at least more than I used to.  I've learned to thank God for things I don't always understand and I wondered if this was going to be another one of those situations where God could turn something that seemed like a wrong decision into something for our good.

I think God has this way of banking our money for us, knowing we'll need it some day.  That is kind of what happened here with the wood boiler.  We bought it, never used it and it sat for years.  Then when covid hit, we listed all sorts of things that all sold, but not the wood boiler. But recently with the return of the cold weather, we relisted it and someone just bought it and will pick it up today.  We sold it for more than we bought it and will make good money on it.  Only God can do that.  Only God can take a purchase and allow what seems to be a mistake and turn it into a blessing.  We always seem to need that kind of extra income at just that moment with all the new grape expenses.  So I'm amazed, grateful, excited and it is a good reminder to trust my husband, trust God, and wait to see how He always turns things that make no sense to our good.

The Antler Boiling Party

Recently we have gone from no one in relationships to three of our kids in relationships.  From the time they were newborns we prayed that each one would find themselves in a godly relationship with a godly spouse.  By faith I assumed those relationships would happen.  What I didn't expect was that sometimes, in the search for the right spouse, there can be some ups and downs.  I mean, of course I did, but I guess I didn't know that sometimes there has to be a break or at least a test of some kind to determine how strong the relationship truly is.  This has been the case more than once now.  There's been a test, even a break, and then the relationship has gone on and has been stronger for it.

As parents this has been truly unpleasant, navigating the path alongside our children.  We would have just rather gone to the spouse store, picked one and then given them the gift at the right time.  Oh....that's called an arranged marriage!  I forgot!  Yes!  That's what I would have wanted!  I am all for arranged marriages.  But, for some reason, our kids seem to want a say.  So weird.  In our lame wisdom we allowed this and it seems it is just not always easy when two imperfect people get together in this imperfect world.  However, by more faith, more prayer....so much prayer.....tears, long conversations.....and just trusting God for the outcome, we now have a very full house with lots of extra people over - I mean, socially- distanced outside, of course.

Recently, we held one of the funniest nights of our lives.  We call it the "Antler Boiling Party".  Have you ever had one of the those?  They are very fun.  Everyone should have one.\ It had been one of those times when there had been a break, a test or two in the relationships and now, on one strange night, everyone literally in the family and those connected to the family were all going to come together again.  After a time of distance, how do you suddenly get everyone back together without it being awkward?  You have an Antler Boiling Party OBVIOUSLY!!!  An Antler Boiling Party was not my idea.  It was actually my son's.  He and a buddy had picked up some antlers from some deer from work.  I didn't realize deer lose their antlers and regrow them every year, but apparently that is the case.  I personally don't want antlers hanging on my wall, but these two young guys did and in order to do that you have to boil them in boiling water for hours.  So my son had it all set up and invited his friend over for the Antler Boiling Party.  There was a fire, a huge barrel full of water for the antlers, and then all our kids.  The extra "friends" were invited, too, some of whom hadn't been around for a bit and it could have been strange and awkward, but really, how can it be when you have everyone standing around a metal barrel full of boiling water and antlers?  So hilarious.  It was also great to have so many young children hanging out by the fire, too.  They are oblivious to any potential tension and they certainly make for a lot of laughs.  The antler bros, i.e., my son and his friend, were also huge comic relief, as who boils antlers for fun except these two?  To be honest, they also were oblivious to any strangeness in the evening and really just cared about their antlers and that's where I think God comes in.  No one wanted a big deal.  No one wanted stress.  Everyone just wanted to peace and love and I think that's why the Antler Boiling Party was perfect and, dare I say, God's design.  It was a comical way to all be outside, standing around, laughing, communing, fellowshiping, and just relaxing, without a big "to-do". Friendships and relationships were re-established where there had been a pause and arms were socially-distanced, yet outstretched, to regroup and regather.

If you were to google "Antler Boiling Party" and how to hold one, I'm quite certain no information would come up.  That's how I kind of know God was in this.  I couldn't have come up with the idea in a million years.  If it had been up to us, we probably would have started building towers on our property, one for each one of our children, where each one could stay for the rest of their lives.  It would have been easier to put them all in their own individual tower, but that isn't what God wants.  He wants Antler Boiling Parties where people connect or reconnect, reach out, bridge distances.  He wants people in fellowship, in relationships, in families, and one day in their own families.  Not with any wisdom of our own, but with God's help, He used this funny way to calmly help our family where we had been uncertain how to move forward.

For now, all seems well.  As I said, three of our children, are involved in relationships.  I now have a more realistic perspective.  I actually am grateful for all that their relationships are teaching me.  We don't want to be white-washed walls or white painted cups that look only good on the outside.  We recognize the importance of washing the inside of the cup, recognizing none of us are perfect.  I don't want to pretend my kids, my family, their relationships, are perfect when that isn't true - we are all sinners needing a Saviour and we are imperfect parents.  They are imperfect children and relationships, even godly ones, can be messy and hard to navigate.  In the end The Antler Boiling Party was a great reminder though that God comes into our lives in such unique ways and helps us when we don't know how to help ourselves.  Hopefully we won't need any more Antler Boiling Parties, but if we do now I know how to do them and I can recommend how to set them up for anyone who is interested.