Bashan and the 60 Cities

We expanded our house again.  We added another bedroom.  If anyone knows our house this is a true impossibility, but somehow we did it again.  Unbelievably, 2 of our kids now have their own bedrooms, well, almost...it'll be completely finished soon.  Remember...everyone is still at home.  There are TEN of us in here.

I never know how these things happen, they just do.  When we moved in to the farmhouse, there were only 4 bedrooms and 7 kids, one being just 12 months, so he had his own bedroom.  Everyone else was sharing - 3 kids to a room.  Then, over time, RM turned the garage into a room with a loft that housed 2 kids and a piano.  Amazing in itself.  Another baby was born and moved in with the baby-turned-toddler.  The 3 girls were getting too big and their room was too small for all of them.  My oldest girl took over the baby room and tossed the kids into the hall.  They lived on the floor by our bed for months while we figured out a new plan.  We then bought bunkbeds and moved the boys into the room across the hall, living with their oldest brother.  They've been there for years now, but this has not been easy.  All last year while he was studying for the MCAT and doing his entire degree, he had to work around these younger brothers.  Not a walk in the park.  I have to say, he was pretty tolerant.  He loves telling his friends at work that he shares a bedroom with a 8 and 10 year old.  It's always pretty endearing to be honest.

Meanwhile, my middle son, who lives in the loft, was feeling kind of cramped up in his room.  There was really nowhere to move him.  As we walked around the house, as usual, the Lord opened our eyes.  We went into the mudroom where I housed all our clothes and we suddenly saw it as a potential bedroom.  We even started to view it as a potential in-law suite down the road.  Within a few weeks, the plan began.  We initially thought it could be for my 14 year old, but then we asked him to be patient and we decided we would let the 21 year old have it for at least a year while he studies again for the MCAT (round 2) and finishes up his 4th year.  We haven't told him yet.  He thinks we're building it for someone else, but we're going to surprise him when it's done and tell him that he gets it.  

So last weekend we ripped out part of the old floor and this weekend we leveled it, prepping for new flooring.  Then we'll paint and move him in.  Where will I put all my books that I had in there?  Where will I put all the clothes I had in there?  I moved all my books to crates in my room.  Surprisingly, they don't fit too badly.  And all the other crates went into the loft room, which again, shockingly, don't look too out of place.  The funnier part is, that a couple drawers, are even in the kitchen, which has to be the funniest, but again, no one seems to notice.  

As relationships with my kids seem to be progressing and moving in the right direction, everyone is vying for the bedrooms of kids who move out one day....pretty funny.  I'm trying to figure out how we can speed this up!

Getting this bedroom done is HUGE for me.  It always feels like an answer to prayer and it reminds me of how we'll ultimately get everything done on our list.  As I wrote last week, it can be very overwhelming, but it just has to be one thing at a time.  Deuteronomy 3 was a great help to me as I thought about the high walls and fortified cities.  I went back and read it again with the kids.  Even more amazing truths jumped out at me....

It began with this simple phrase, "Then we turned and went up the way to Bashan...."  That's what happens every day - we turn.  We turn from one day to the next, from a Sunday to a Monday, from one week to the next, from one season to the next.  And somehow we end up in "Bashan".  When we hit these new days, these new mornings, these new seasons,  Bashan isn't always easy.  The next phrase says it all, "And Og king of Bashan came out against us, he and all his people to battle at Edrei."  Isn't that what I've been feeling?  Spring comes and instead of joy at the new beautiful season I feel like Spring is coming out against me to battle.  Or, I wake up ready to see my kids and start a new day, but instead a battle ensues, either waking them up, or them defying me in some way.  

It goes on, though, and thank goodness it does.  I love the next phrase, "BUT the Lord said to me....."  God acknowledges the fact the Israelites are in a place they don't love and speaks to them, "Do not fear him, for I have given him and all his people and his land into your hand.  And you shall do to him as you did to Sihon king of the Amorites, who lives at Heshbon."  That's such an encouragement - He knows the Israelites are afraid.  He knows I can be prone to fear and so He cuts the fear off at the pass and reminds them that He will win the battle.  He also reminded them that He's done it before.  Even as I look to a small thing like this renovation, it feels so big and looming - will we actually finish it?  will I ever have a house that has order?  And then I just have to remember what our house looked like when we moved in....we've come a looooong way.  It will get done eventually, over time.  I just have to look back and see the renovation victories we've had.  Same with all the things on our list - we will get them done, over time, one thing at a time.  It's like He's saying, "You've got this because I've got this."

And that's exactly what happens next.  It says, "So the Lord our God gave into our hand Og also, the king of Bashan and all of his people and we struck him down until he had no survivor left."  I kind of consider that like my list of to-dos for the Spring and Summer.  I feel like it will be a battle in a way and that we'll somehow strike down everything on the list until there is no survivor left.  There were 60 cities on their to-do list.  This is kind of a significant number, partly because we have at least 60 things on our list, but also because that is the number RM will hit this June.  I really love how the Bible includes details like that.  It could have said "lots of cities", but it says specifically "60".  I'm praying RM will accomplish his list by June, that we'll be able to look back over his years on earth and say, "Wow!  Look at the battles you've won!"

But, as usual, my favourite phrase in all of this was "Do not fear...."  Today is Monday, Spring is literally less then a week away, and we are turning into a new week and a new season.  "Bashan" is ahead of me, "the king of Og"  and all his people want to meet me in a battle at "Edrei", BUT I don't have to fear.  I just need to look back at last week, last year, yesterday even, and see how He gave the king into our hands.  He can do it again and I know He will.

Fortified Cities, High Walls, Gates, Bars and Pleading.....

If anyone saw our list of dreams and plans, they would say, "Impossible".  Both RM and I said that to ourselves even last night, "It's going to take a miracle."  I also said that I'm looking into getting a few more husbands as one just isn't going to be enough.  I basically need 7 or 8.  One for each child to help them accomplish what they long to do and as for me, well....we'll see.  Deuteronomy is my encouragement though.  Ch.3:5 talks about, "All these were cities fortified with high walls, gates, and bars, besides very many unwalled villages.  And we devoted them to destruction....."  That is basically my list of to-dos as well - fortified cities, high walls, gates, bars......all impossible things to take over.  Only God could help the Israelites take possession of lands that were protected with walls.  But they "took the all his cities at that time -  there was not one that we did not take from them."  Only with God's help could that have happened.  So I, too, commit my list of "fortified cities" asking God to help us take each thing on and "devote to destruction" in a different way.  I pray that I'll be able to cross it off our list and destroy it in that way.  It certainly seems impossible with just one husband, but at least I have one husband!  In so many ways he is like having7 or 8 as he is so capable!

Last night he finished teaching his first 10 week  online class - he now has had over 50 students since January.  What a gift that was.  He will start one more session next week and then he's done until the Fall.  We marvel at how that came about.  He managed to teach 3 nights a week, still work on his regular job, manage the winery, plan for a garden...oh, and last weekend he started working on the mudroom floor which he really hopes to have done by this weekend as we need to get some kids moved around again.

In order to touch base with each child, once in a while it has to literally be booked into his day.  This morning he's taking my oldest out for coffee just to talk one on one...it's the only way.

I take encouragement knowing my begging God for help isn't unusual.  Moses did, too.  In Deut. 3:23 it says, "And I pleaded with the Lord at that time...."  That's exactly what I do, pretty much on a daily, if not hourly, basis....I plead.  And I don't plan on stopping!

My Latest Wife Experiment

I'm doing a little experiment right now.  I would say I'm typically a pretty encouraging wife, but at the same time, I can also be a wife who challenges - Poor RM.   Typically, it can be on his ideas, asking a ton of questions, needing to be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt and then, finally, after I've questioned enough and basically worn him down, I come around and say, "Ok, I guess it's a good idea."  Sometimes by that point he's either changed his mind or is too tired to try or worse, because of my questioning, he now has doubts himself....ah, the undermining that wives do without even realizing it!

But!  No longer!  I've seen this as a pattern and have been really working at it.  I still talk with him about his many ideas.  He wants to hear my concerns, but now I'm trying to be less challenging and more encouraging right from the get-go.  For example, the winery.  Oh my.  So much going on.

We are learning so much as we go on.  Barrels, it turns out, are key.  You can not put wine in a plastic barrel and it expect it to breathe and taste good.  I used to think it was just a pretty container to put wine in.  Nope.  So we had to buy barrels - they aren't cheap.  I was ok with 7, after he convinced me, last Fall.  But then a couple of weeks ago another opportunity came up to buy 21 more - 21!  I was initially so hesitant.  One thing about fear that I'm realizing is that just like "dread", "hesistancy" is a cousin of fear. I get afraid that it's too much money, that we won't sell the wine, that we'll be stuck with barrels....This time, after I heard his reasoning, I smiled and said, "Sounds good!"  Even though it seemed NUTS.  Then, he mentioned this other winery was offering him 1300 L of Riesling.  Not for free.  Another big investment.  Hesistancy.  But again, "I can see how that makes sense - let's do it!'

We now own 28 barrels and 1300 more liters of wine.  But I'm excited.  I believe my excitement fuels his excitement.  And, we always ask ourselves, "What is the worst thing that could happen?"  We might get stuck with a few barrels?  So we sell them again!  We might get stuck with some extra wine?  It'll eventually sell.  It always keeps us moving forward.  And, as I trust him, he feels more confident.  When I don't trust, that shows my fears and paralyzes both him and myself.  

He is very close to getting the last license that will allow him to sell wine.  He is getting very excited.  Ideas are coming to him all the time about the marketing side of things, the website, how he'll label and package the wine, where to sell, who to sell it to, etc.  I can only think that is because I've been fueling the excitement and not been a damper to him.

He had to draw a mock design of what our winery would look like.  Normally that would have cost thousands of dollars to hire someone to create.  Being familiar with CAD drawing programs, he did it in a couple of days himself.  He's created for this.  He's loving it so much.  So, who am I to stop him?  He's having fun, using every skill he's ever been given and I'm enjoying the journey.  Is it scary?  Yes.  Do I still have fears in the back of my mind?  A little.  But I'm recognizing that those are not helpful in any way, so I choose to not listen to them.  Instead I thank God for this man of vision who is leading our family and I'm having fun on the wild ride!

Casual Commentary on Deuteronomy 1:19-25 - I'm an Israelite

What a fun cat party we had!  We sang "happy birthday" (can you believe that), opened gifts, ate cake and cookies, watched her get a cat "high" on catnip (her favourite gift), had cat friends come over for their cat food cake (socially distanced of course), decorated the house with balloons....it was quite the day.  I can only say, I am quite certain I NEVER went to such lengths for my own kids.  What the pandemic has done to me and my state of mind.....it's inexplicable really.  I'm kind of glad she's the only cat we will do that for and I promise it won't be an annual thing....But, again, I'm always trying to get in the running for Mother of the Year and that was definitely a big points event, so I'm always happy about that....

Back to Deuteronomy..... It kind of ties in to the rest of my weekend.  As I read in Chapter 1, starting around verse 19, that was when it really hit me how much I am like an Israelite.  Moses often recounts the history of the Israelites, "Then we set out...and we came to Kadesh-barnea..."  Ah, Kadesh-barnea.....this is the place where I realized how much I identify as "Israelite".  Moses said, "And I said to you....'See, the Lord your God has set the land before you.  Go up, take possession, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has told you.  Do not fear or be dismayed.  Then all of you came near me and said, 'Let us send men before us, that they may explore the land for us and bring us word again of the way by which we must go up and the cities into which we shall come.'"

This is me exactly.  I come to a situation, a decision, an opportunity - my Kadesh-barnea - and God tells me, "Here is the land set before you.  Go up, take possession!  Do not fear or be dismayed!"  But.....I then say, "Well, let's send some spies and just make sure it's ok.  Because, I really don't believe you."  Let me give a recent example.  I have been praying a lot about how I can contribute to our income.  My old excuse of babies and toddlers, I just found out, doesn't work anymore.  Those babies are nearly 9 and up.  When did that happen?! I don't have a "job", per se, outside of the home.  Being a teacher again in a classroom would kill me.  I have NO interest EVER doing that again.  I joke that I don't like kids.  God, in His amazing mercy, has given me many cool opportunities over the last few years to make some extra income with the microgreens, the grapes, the vine trees, so He's been answering that prayer already, but I feel like there is even more I could do.  Why?  It isn't money for a vacation, although maybe one day it will be.  It's more that I would like to help pay for things we really need - the renovations that so desperately need to be done, repairs that always unexpectedly show up, etc.  

When the pandemic hit we decided to grow a garden for our family.  I sold a few vegetables, but nothing crazy.  We ordered a couple books, but I didn't read them, I was too overwhelmed by all their ideas on how to make the garden profitable.  I just wanted food for ourselves.  My husband read them though.  But then, as Spring started to approach, something made me pick one of the books up and as I read, I started to get excited about the garden again, but this time as my next opportunity to make some income.  Almost instantly, fear gripped me.  I told my husband how I was kind of excited about making the garden more profitable by implementing the ideas I'd been reading about and my husband was totally on board, but then I did what the Israelites did, "We should send some spies...."  When the Israelites suggested that, I believe that was just an excuse  Even when the spies came back with all the proof that the land was awesome and theirs for the taking  and said, "It is a good land that the Lord our God is giving us", they still "murmured" in their tents, "Because the Lord hated us he has brought us out of the land of Egypt, to give us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us.  Where are we going up?  Our brothers have made our hearts melt, saying, 'The people are greater and taller then we.  The cities are great and fortified up to heaven.  And beside, we have seen the sons of the Anakin there."

What?!  Joshua and Caleb said, "No!  It's an awesome land!  We can do this!"  But the other guys said, "No way - we're grasshoppers.  They're big.  We're small.  Impossible."  Moses had said, "Let's do this!"  They said, "I don't think so."  I think the spy thing was just a way of stalling.  They never trusted Moses.  They always challenged his leadership and this was just another way of undermining his authority.  It was their pattern.  It wouldn't have mattered what the spies said when they came back.  They had already decided they weren't strong enough.

So it is with me.  The land is literally being given to me, prime Niagara land, ideal for growing vegetables and all things amazing.  I had a little excitement in me at first to take the challenge on and I took the idea to my husband who was all in and then the fear set in.  My husband was so frustrated with me as he watched me list all the reasons why I suddenly couldn't do it, "What if the vegetables don't grow, what if I can't fill orders, what if you get too busy to help me, what if, what if, what if......."  I was just like the Israelites, my heart was melting, the Anakim were greater and taller than me, the cities were great and fortified up to heaven in my mind.....But then I read this passage last week and I immediately saw I was doing it again.  Instead of listening to my Moses husband, I was challenging him in a way.  Instead of believing him when he believed we could do this, I was falling into my old patterns of fear.  I had to shake my head, identify the lies and then suddenly I realized how silly it all was.  The land was being given to me, I just had to go up and possess it.  The challenge was huge, but why couldn't I do it?!   Here I was asking for a way to supplement our income and then God opens my eyes and gives me an idea and instead of embracing it, I became afraid of it.  This passage helped me see the irony.

So, this past week, I went to my husband as a pathetic Israelite and I told him what I had read and how much I could relate to those people.  I also told him how much I saw him as Moses in my life and that instead of always challenging him I wanted to listen to his encouragement.  He just sat there saying, "Finally!  You get it!"  The next step was to quickly act on what we were thinking before I changed my mind, so all day Saturday and I mean all day, we planned the garden.  We are trying to grow on a larger more profitable scale, no longer just for ourselves, though that is part of the plan, too.  Now we have to do some serious soil amending in order to grow better vegetables.  My last year's garden was ok, but the soil was awful.  We're going to bring in the big guns.  We'll get it tested and add the appropriate compost and manure to get it to the ideal growing soil.  Then we are planning our beds to grow bigger and better vegetables with more weed control, landscape cloth, hoop houses.....it's going to be crazy.  Then, if all goes well, I may be able to sell boxes on a weekly basis.  One farmer we know of sells 200+ boxes a week and that is his living.  We aren't there yet.  We are thinking about 20-25 a week, but one step at a time...

I love how this passage was on land - "See, the Lord your God has set the land before you.  Go up, take possession as the Lord the God of your fathers, has told you.  Do not fear or be dismayed."  That's what I'm going to do.  I'm taking possession of the land.  He's given it to me.  He knows I'm afraid and dismayed, but I'm going to believe Him when He says, "Don't be afraid or dismayed."  Why would He even say that if it wasn't a possibility that I would be potentially afraid?  I have to just go up and take it.  I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids occupied in a productive way - this will definitely keep us all busy.  We have so many ideas.  The kids want to sell bunnies, lemonade, kittens....all at the side of the road.  It will be a fun summer I think.  They aren't afraid, why am I?  

Moses gave them one more chance, "Do not be in dread or afraid of them."  I spend a lot of my time hanging out with dread - love dread.  It's nicer to say you dread something because then it isn't as sinful as fear.  But what I've learned is that dread is a cousin of fear, so it's the same thing and it is sin, too.  Moses said, "The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, AND in the wilderness, where YOU HAVE SEEN, how the Lord your God CARRIED YOU, as a man carried his son (what an awesome image!), ALL THE WAY THAT YOU WENT, until you came to this place.  Yet IN SPITE OF THIS, you did not believe the Lord your God (see, I don't believe my husband sometimes), who went BEFORE YOU, in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you what way you should go."  Because of their fear, their rebellion, their sin, "not one of these men of this evil generation shall see the good land that I swore to give to your fathers".  This is NOT what I want to happen to me.  I don't want to miss out on the good land He promises to give me all because of fear and DREAD.  If the Israelites had just looked back and reflected for one second on all that God had done for them, they would have seen how He carried them - as a man carries his son!  He's done this for me!  He's carried me, gone before me, fought for me....all the way that I've gone, fire by night, cloud by day.  By not trusting God and my husband, I could miss out on all that God wants to give me.

In light of this - I'm starting to tell people here and there what I'm up to.  In a way, it's being accountable to others so that I follow through on all my big talk.  Today we'll order the seeds and attempt transplants.  Then the garden prep starts and seeds go in in May and June.  I'm still a little nervous as my garden was pretty lame last year, so I don't have a lot of faith in me, but I don't have to trust myself, I need to just trust God who has put these ideas in my head.  He'll carry me and it's His job to make the garden grow......Once again, a really long way to put it all into words, but that's just how I operate.  It helps me to articulate it all on "paper".  As I read today, "writing is a way of opening our eyes to see what we otherwise do not see."  Now, I see!

My Casual Commentary on Deuteronomy 1:18

Deuteronomy 1 is basically my life in a nutshell.  I am officially an Israelite.  Moses just does not know what to do with me.  But first, a little verse by verse commentary by me of chapter 1.  As I read it this morning, I couldn't believe how many verses jumped out at me.  I have a new Bible as a gift with a journaling margin and so even though I've read this book before, I haven't underlined verses yet in this new Bible, so it's interesting to see which verses are jumping out at me this time reading it.

It starts out a little bit like a review by Moses of the Israelites history.  Moses said in verse 6, "The Lord our God said to us in Horeb, 'You have stayed long enough at this mountain...."  Right away I underlined that phrase.  I'm always looking for principles from Scripture, messages to me that are implied sometimes indirectly, and what I immediately loved from this verse was that there is a time line.  God has us in places for a very specific amount of time and in this verse is was "long enough".  This is such an encouragement to me.  God will keep me in a place of discomfort sometimes until I've learned what I'm supposed to learn or our family has learned what we are supposed to learn and then, as the next verse continues, it says, "Turn and take your journey...."  So, that's it.  We wait in the place He has us and then when it is time to move on, we go.  He wants to give us the the land, but we often have lessons to learn before we take possession of it.  There are always so many action words in Scripture - Turn, take, go.....or, like yesterday, drive out, destroy, demolish.....if you are a Christian, you are not passive.

Then, Moses recalls how he was starting to get overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of Israelites, "I am not able to bear you by myself".  This is another great math verse, "The Lord your God has multiplied you...May the Lord, the God of your fathers, make you a thousand times as many as you are and bless you, as He has promised you."  A lot of people think large families are crazy.  To some extent this is true!  However, when I read Scripture and I see how God sees large families, like the Israelites, I feel blessed!  I have literally been multiplied from one person to 10!  That is cool!  But, many Christians do not agree with me, let alone the world.  We were sat down for one interview by church leadership as we sought membership a few years ago.  They wanted to know why we had so many children.  Do they ask everyone that?  Why do you only have 2?  or 3?  or 1?  It wasn't asked with a heart of kindness, is all I can say.  Another pastor's wife told me not to have more children when were expecting our 5th.  She felt sorry for our oldest as she assumed she would be "stuck" raising her younger siblings.  One relative said to me, "Better you than me, " when I mentioned I was pregnant with my 7th.  Did I mention the dread I had when I told her?  I knew that was going to be the response.  So, that's only a couple comments from many inside the church who do not agree with large families.   All that to say, Scripture encourages me and tells me that multiplication is a sign of blessing and I do feel blessed!  One time, back in the city, when I only had 4 kids, we were all out on the driveway playing.  Out of nowhere, some older African woman (I swear she had bare feet and a tribal type of dress on) walked by, as if she was on her way to get water from a well.  She looked at me and my kids and in her thick African accent she said, "You are blessed."  I remember saying, "Yes!  Thank you!"  or something like that.  Did God send me an angel right at that time?  I'm pretty sure she was an angel.  Never saw her before or after that time.

So, being overwhelmed, Moses gets the Israelites to appoint leaders, "wise, understanding, experienced men".  This jumped out at me, too, as they were appointed as "heads of your tribes".  Just as the New Testament describes men as the head of their homes and of their wives, these men have that same title.  This made me think of how we can pray specifically for our girls and for the type of husband we must be praying for.  In Titus and Timothy, there is a very specific list of things that an elder must have in order to be qualified as an elder.  It is really a list of what all husbands must have as elders of their homes.  Similarly, this verse gives another phrase to ask God for, "wise, understanding and experienced men".  It also implies those men are out there!  I don't have to be afraid that they aren't there, we just have to pray that we'll find the few that are there!  It also helps me to keep praying for the parents of those future men, and even for myself, that all of us will raise "wise, understanding and experienced men".  May this be the kind of man each one of my daughters will marry one day.

The reason the Israelites, in particular, needed this type of man was in order to hear all the cases brought before them all the time.  Yesterday we had one of those "cases between a man and his brother".  Whoa, one boy jumped on another boy in fury when he simply didn't want to hear his voice anymore.  It was quite the commotion.  I literally felt like a judge listening to the witnesses, the defendant, the plaintiff.  Oh, for the wisdom of Solomon.  I often want to cut everything in half just to have it over with.  So, I pray, that I, too, will have wisdom, understanding, and experience, just to be fair and pass good judgement in each case.  I still wish I had a dungeon sometimes.  "You shall hear the small and the great alike.  You shall not be intimidated by anyone for the judgment is God's.  And the case that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me and I will hear it."  That verse says it all.  I have small and great cases on a daily basis - spilled milk in one moment or a vicious couch attack like yesterday.  Sometimes that is exactly it, "the case is too hard" for me.  I don't have Moses in my house to take it to, but I do have my husband and I do have God, so that's what I do.  I take it to God and to RM.  We have trials going on all the time.  It's a regular courthouse around here.

This is getting long, but I'm writing because I can't stop.  But I will stop for now.  I have much more to write on the next half of the chapter.  But I have a cat party to plan....I can't believe I just wrote that.

Driving out, Destroying and Demolishing - Oh, and a Cat Party

This has been one of the fastest winters - who says that?  Winter is always slow, but I think it is because somehow we have stayed busy and it isn't because I get any credit for creative ideas or anything like that.  It is simply God's grace as I cry out day after day for help - help in keeping the younger ones busy, help in somehow getting them to buy into going outside, even when they don't want to, help in keeping them busy when it was too cold to go outside, help in finding ways to have them get along, when they are the only ones they see all day every day!

There are days when I wasn't sure how things were going to go, but then they get these crazy ideas that come out of nowhere.  One day the two younger boys spent hours making a fort near the pig barn so that I couldn't find them!  That was a stinky place to play, but ok!  Then, after Christmas, they discovered the joys of board games.  I am not a huge board game person, never was, but I wasn't about to let them know how I felt, so I just encouraged it.  We bought a couple and they literally played for hours, day after day, until they got bored of the board games!  Then, the snow came - how I love a good snowfall.  Big enough to make huge drifts where they dug tunnels and made "homes" with "backyards", trails and everything.  They would literally play for hours out there, too.  Another time the snow turned to ice and it made for a treacherous and scary sledding hill beside our house.  Again, even though it was so cold, out they went and had so much fun avoiding dangerous buildings!  After that it was a trip to the local thrift store.  They happened upon some building toys, K'nex, which are not cheap brand new, but they had a whole bin for a great price, so I bought that and it kept them busy also for days.  We also picked up another board game there and they played that, too, for days.  These little things are such blessings to me.  Winter can be hard and it is so easy to go to the TV, computer or phone to keep them quiet, but I have really tried to avoid that in the name of Numbers 33:50-55, a passage I read this week which made me realize God was working all winter, even when I didn't see Him or recognize it was His hand.   This passage has become the theme of Lent around here and looking back over the winter which is nearly over, I thank God for how I now see how this passage was being worked out in a real and practical way.  All winter He revealed creative ways to keep the boys, in particular, busy and productive and I think it was entirely His doing to help me drive back the winter blues, among other things.  Here's the passage:

50 And the Lord spoke to Moses in the plains of Moab by the Jordan at Jericho, saying, 51 “Speak to the people of Israel and say to them, When you pass over the Jordan into the land of Canaan, 52 then you shall drive out all the inhabitants of the land from before you and destroy all their figured stones and destroy all their metal images and demolish all their high places. 53 And you shall take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given the land to you to possess it. 54 You shall inherit the land by lot according to your clans. To a large tribe you shall give a large inheritance, and to a small tribe you shall give a small inheritance. Wherever the lot falls for anyone, that shall be his. According to the tribes of your fathers you shall inherit. 55 But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you, then those of them whom you let remain shall be as barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides, and they shall trouble you in the land where you dwell.

I talked about these verses with the kids the other day.  It came down to the 3 Ds - Drive out the inhabitants of the land.  Destroy all their figured stones metal images.  Demolish all their high places.

This was the challenge in our home all winter, and still is, and probably always will be- figuring out what we need to drive out, destroy and demolish.  What is in our home, what habits, what things are distracting us from doing the better thing or even slipping into hopelessness?  During the winter lockdown, it was clearly a battle - God was longing to bless us.  We just had to do what He asked.   So all winter long, even though I hadn't read this passage until the end of winter, I see now how He was showing me and the kids ways to help us "take possession of the land and settle in it".  He was giving us amazing ideas, gifts, and creativity that helped us  drive out, destroy and demolish, though not entirely, the depression and boredom that always tried to creep in.   When we succumbed to the bad habits, the easy things to do, TV, cell phones, computers, using them in unproductive ways, then they became just what the Bible described them as, "as barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides, and they shall trouble you in the land where you dwell".   We are not against computers and phones - as long as they are tools for learning as much as possible.  I think it is interesting that the Bible uses the expression "barbs in your eyes" as too much of the social media or anything computer related really will do just that, it'll be like a barb in your eye literally, as so much of what is on the internet is so bad!  It can harm you emotionally, spiritually, and even physically if too much goes on and all because it comes in through our eyes!  

The 3Ds are all very strong commands.  There is nothing passive about these phrases.  It also implies how we must take action and not hope it'll happen.  Now, having the winter nearly over, we read these phrases together and talked about these things, I always think, "They get it!"  But then I turn around and I catch one of them having fun with "the inhabitants of the land".  I said to them, "Uh, remember how we have to 'drive out, destroy and demolish' these habits?"  "Oh yeah."  They quickly forget.  The battle is real.  It is so easy to go back to old patterns.

Like I said, I didn't read this passage at the beginning of the winter, but at the end of the winter.  Yet, as I said, I can look back and be so grateful for how God was helping me fight "the inhabitants of the land" all winter long.  If left to themselves, kids succumb to the law of thermodynamics which states, and I'm quoting my sciencey husband here: "if left on their own, things go to the highest degree of disorder".  Even though my kids know better, it is just easy to not do what they are supposed to do.  They all know it's bad to be lazy.  They know ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner is bad, but if I'm not guiding and point them in the right direction all day long, they would literally sleep in till noon, watch TV and eat candy every second of the day.  Each day of winter I wondered, "How will I keep them busy and happy?"  No one was coming over, school was dragging on, depression was always being kept at bay and sometimes made its way in the house....I prayed and prayed....yet I find myself on the precipice of Spring and somehow we made it!  I didn't realize how God was helping me over and over.  He gave creative ideas not just to me, but to the kids themselves.  He gave gifts of weather and the occasional barn visit.  He provided inexpensive toys and games that kept everyone distracted.  I look back and see He was helping me all along drive out, demolish and destroy not just bad habits, but He was helping me fight back depression and caving into dread.  This only comes with reflection.  That is in fact the power of reflection.

We have one more hilarious event to help us get through the winter tomorrow.  I don't know where this idea came from, but it has to be one of the best yet, and once again, I thank God for these very funny ideas.  We're having a cat birthday party tomorrow, for our dumb cat.  She's not that dumb actually - kind of cute to be honest.  She was born on leap year last year and was the runt.  We didn't think she would make it, but she pulled through.  The kids begged to keep her.  How could we say no?  Now, because we are sooooo bored, we decided we had to come up with a way to celebrate and pass the time, so we are having a cat party, complete with cat games (pin the tail on the cat), cat art (rolling a cat on plastic covered in catnip with blank paper full of paint underneath it), cat cookies, cat cake (canned cat food/triple layer with a candle), balloons, oh, and the most important part - cat guests (all our other outdoor cats are invited for cake).  It is going to be the best day ever!d

So, as always, I'm grateful.  I think we made it through winter and not just a regular winter, but winter LOCKDOWN and we are relatively unscathed.  I feel like we drove out the inhabitants of the land that wanted to fight back and not move.  We will hopefully with God's grace move into the next season of Spring and inherit the land God longs to give us.

The Multiplication Effect - Again - Gym Style

Many years ago when I first started writing this blog I wrote about the Multiplication Effect.  I came up with that expression because it was something I had noticed God was constantly doing.  Instead of giving us a new home or a new barn, He would instead open our eyes to seeing our space with a new perspective and thus began to multiply our spaces.  Our home has been reworked so many times to give us more space, more rooms, even though we haven't added a single room in the typical renovating way.  The layout of our home is so much better than when we first moved in and accommodates all of us easily.  Our barn is amazing, too - and it keeps improving as well.  

Just when I thought it couldn't happen again, it did.  Our basement/dungeon where literally I almost stepped on a toad the other day, has been turned into a new space which I DID NOT see coming.  All our kids have become fitness buffs and pre-covid were either members of a gym or worked out at home.  Once covid hit, they were forced to work out at home.  We had a few small weights, mats and a chin-up bar, but that was about it.  We had a stationary bike, but it was in the shop outside and no one was using that.  As they were getting somewhat restless, a crazy thought (which is always how it starts) came into my head - "Let's clean up the basement and make a gym downstairs!"  "Cool!"  my son thought.  The basement had become a bit of a dumping ground for old videos, boxes of things we never used, who knows what else.  All it really needed was to move those out to the storage room or throw stuff out, so he went at it and after a few days of working on it - it looked awesome, in a clean dungeon kind of way.  But this is the thing - it's just for working out, it doesn't have to be pretty.  And, if it's a gym, it's nice to be cool and feel air-conditioned!  Which it does!  It's freezing!  It'll be awesome in the summer....

So, then we stared to purchase equipment.  Because there are 5 of us who want to use the equipment, it was very affordable because we were splitting the costs 5 ways.  We quickly bought adjustable dumbbells, which are the newest and coolest trend, as all the weights are on one dumbbell.  You simply twist the end of it and it adds or takes off the weight.  Love that!  Then we got a bench which can incline or decline depending on the exercise.  Then we brought in the bike from the shop and a mat on the floor and that's all we have for now, but it's enough to keep them happy.  But as I was thinking about it I was in awe yet again.  It's as if we added a whole new room onto our house.  One that has always been there, but it just always seemed unusable.  It is now an amazing space and the kids (and even us parents) are using it!  It has new life and is such a great space I can hardly believe it!  It feels like a $20,000 renovation.  Even the younger kids go down there now and play, doing whatever kids do in basements - I just can't believe it.

There are two spaces in the basement, one where there is a gym and one other empty space behind that.  I'm thinking of using that for a canning/cold cellar and also for a potential seedling room for the future garden.  I'm quite excited now that it is all cleaned out to see what we can do with it.  

This is just another amazing example to me of how God has worked so many times in our lives.  So many times I've wanted to complain and I often do, but then once in a while, I sit back and I try to "manipulate" my thoughts, which is my new faith exercise, to choose gratitude.  Then suddenly these crazy ideas come into my head - thoughts that were never there before.  My eyes open to what can be done and then the manpower is amazingly willing and provided as well (through my kids).  Then the miraculous multiplication occurs and I get not just one, but two new spaces.  In fact, it's basically a whole new floor!  This is the irony....my friend was literally just telling me about her extensive basement reno.....I was kind of listening with a little bit of jealousy as our's was never going to look like her's, but even then I realized it was ok!  We were also getting a basement reno, just in a different form!  Everyone is so excited because when you are working out happy hormones are being created and moods are lifted.  It has helped everyone already and is inspiring even those who are less inclined to working out to start.  I thank God for what may be a small miracle to some, but it is a big miracle to me.  This new space saves my kids tons of money on memberships and gas to the gym, not to mention all the extra minutes wasted driving there and back, plus it protects my girls from working out with weirdos at the gym as well!  All in all, it's so great.  If we are to be thankful in everything then this cannot be excluded.  I am thankful so much to God for how He even cares about our health and physical fitness!